New Digs RULE

So, this new apartment is the best place EVER!! Not only did we get a new place, but some new furniture showed up, too. So far, Fergus hasn't eaten any of it yet... so that's good. He's still working his way through the legs of dad's wooden chair.

Anyway, since we moved to this new place... mom and dad have been a lot better about bring friends over to play. My friend, Satchmo the Papillon came over to keep us company when all the people were ignoring us and eating turkey and sweet potatoes and other things they wouldn't share with me and Fergus. And then YESTERDAY my friend Oxley came over. Oxley is a Corgi, and I don't think she liked as much at first- and I'm not even sure she likes us now... but Fergus and I are gonna wear her down b/c you'd have to be CRAZY not love us. We're practically perfect and we're PERSISTENT... and overwhelming like a little WWF griffon tag-team!

Crooklyn, Yo!

What's going on, man? Did you hear the news?!? I moved to BROOKLYN!!!!!!
Yeah, that's right! I'm officially a Brooklyn Hipster now!!

My mommy and daddy (and dimwitted brother, Fergus) moved to PARK SLOPE!! It's pretty cool, I must say!! My apartment is GIANT!!! Plenty of room for SUPER-SPEED!!! And get this!! I live ONE BLOCK away from Prospect Park!!! Huroo!! Hurroo!! For me? For YOU!!!

My mommy and daddy (and dimwitted brother, Fergus) took us to the Park this morning! In the morning, pos (that's dogs to you!) are allowed OFF-LEASH!! At first, mommy and daddy didn't trust me. They thought I'd run away. And because I'm SO MUCH FASTER than them, they thought they'd lose me forever! Dummies! Don't they know I LOVE THEM!! Plus, all things considered, I do LOVE Fergus too!! I"d miss the l'il fella!!

So anyway, I'd have to say the HIGHLIGHT of the morning was when Fergus was being harassed by another dog. Instead of asking me to HELP, he jumped on a HUMAN BABY'S head!! Crazy right? Only FERGUS would think to seek protection from a HUMAN BABY!!! DUMMY!!

Alright, gotta go!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! BYE!!!

MY BIRTHDAY

So in case you all didn't know, MY BIRTHDAY was Monday. Yup, I'm officially 1-year's old! So much better than being 0-year's old! I make fun of Fergus now. I say, "Fergus, you're zero man! I think you're aging backwards. Next year, you'll be -1 year's old!"

So anyway, I had a FUNTASTIC birthday. My mom and dad said we will always celebrate my birthday on FATHER'S DAY (something about it being easier to remember and plus, it's always on a Sunday). That's fine by me, as long as we always CELEBRATE like we did on Sunday.

Let's see, first they took me to my favorite dog park. Some hyperactive beagle tried to beat beat beat baby Fergus up, but I came to the RESCUE! It was like 95 degrees out, so we couldn't stay too too long. But it was OODLES OF FUN while we were there. I am so FST! So fast I skip an "A"!

So instead, they took me to my favorite puppy store to buy me TOYZ!!!! I got Wilbur the Pig, Jack the oversized jack, and UFO the flying saucer! Plus there was a really really cute girl GRIFFEY there, Roxie. She had a tail! I had never seen a GRIFFEY with a tail!

Then for dinner, my pops made me a BIRTHDAY BURGER! It was soo soo gooooood! I couldn't believe how YUMMY it was! And then they gave me a birthday CUPCAKE! Well, they didn't actually let me eat it! Just took photos of me with it! With a big 1-Year candle! Hurroo! Hurroo!

My daddy even made be and FAT FERGUS tee-shirts! Mine said "BIRTHDAY BOY! I'M 1-YEAR'S OLD" Fergus's said "TODAY IS MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY"! I'm so lucky that Mommy and Daddy LOVE ME so much!

I love BIRTHDAYZ! I wonder when FERGUS turns one! I'm gonna have to ask my moms and pops!

Furpo and Chihuahuas

First... I guess I have to mention that I have a new brother... well, an adopted brother, I guess you could say... he's not my biological brother. When he tries to steal my toys or sleep in my little dog house, I call him names like "frying pan face" or "dustmop"... things like that.

I wasn't so sure about him at first but, I gotta say... he's growing on me. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I'm VERY FLATTERED. If I drink, he drinks. If I eat, he eats. If I want to lay down on the floor, so does he. If I want to curl up on my mom's lap, so does he. Every step I take, every move I make, he's watching me. Everywhere I go... he's hop hop hopping along right beside me (except when he's in his newspapered bathroom area... ew).

I didn't even know I wanted a brother, or a best friend... but now that I have one, I'm pretty glad about it. No, very glad! I can't wait til he has all his shots so I can really show him the ropes around here. We're gonna be a force to reckoned with at the dog park, Furpo and I. That's his nickname, Furpo... or Firpywhipple. He's an odd little fellow... one day, I went and played with some dogs in upstate New York... it was fun... and then the strangest thing happened: one of them came all the way home with me in the car and hasn't left since!!

Anyway, that's my new brother. Fergus. He's always snorting, sniffling, whistling, grunting, hooting, and a'hollerin'.

I also wanted to comment on this weird Chihuaha thing going on lately... it's like everyone's got them on the brain. First, there are the random people at the dog park who INSIST I'm not really a griffy and think I look like a chihuahua or- gasp- a PAPILLON. And then there was the vet who said I looked like I had some chihuahua in me. Maybe I do. Maybe I'm a mutt, after all. I guess stranger things have happened. But, really... everywhere I go lately it's chihuahua-this and chihuahua-that.

I had a nice day at the burger place outside, digging in the dirt and letting little children give me hugs.

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Super 'Cisco!

I just found out the most remarkable news in the world! I have a baby brother! Wait, I got ahead of myself for a second! I'm SOOOOOOOO EXCITED!! I need to calm down...count to ten, Wembley! 1-2-3-4-5...en0ugh already!

Okay, okay, okay. So I already knew I had a baby brother! We lived together for a while in Ohio! But then my first human m0mmy found us new homes. She said that as much as she loved us, that she didn't really have the space to give us the homes we needed to grow into super duper amazing puppies! So I got sent to New York and my baby brother was sent to Super 'Cisco.

Even though I was sad to part with that little guy, I was also really really excited to be living in a wunnerful new home in the bestest city in the world for po's! I mean, really, they have parks just for dogs here! They call them dog runs because po's love love love to zoot around like speed demons! But I digress, dummy!

But then the other day, I woke up and said to myself, "Wembley Sprout, you're living an amazing life! You have two loving parents, your own room, clothes, all sorts of toys, everything a puppy wants, you know? But I miss my brother! You best find him and FAST!" So one day when my parents were at work doing human things, I jumped jumped jumped over my baby gate and headed to the 'cuter or whatever that dumb thing is they stare at instead of playing with me. I signed onto my Dogster account. Don't ask me how I was able to do this! You wouldn't believe me!

And lo and behold! There he was, staring right back at me! I mean when I saw that cute little face, I just KNEW, you know? MY BABY BROTHER! His name is RAMON!!! Ramon and Wembley! Brothers!! I sent him a message but I didn't know that he had already reached out to me! My own baby brother one step ahead of me! I mean really - what are the odds that we would find each other around the exact same time??? We must be telepathetic or sumthin'!

I'm so GLAD I found my brother! Turns out we are alot alike! Ruff, tuff little Griffeys! I plan on keeping in touch with my 'bro! Who knows, maybe one day we'll meet! Stranger things could happen you know. Like we might even find our sister...da da dum...

Hey!!! Where'd all my friends go?!!?

Someone, who shall, for now, remain nameless hacked in to my profile and purged my list of doggie friends so that it now contains only Griffons and dogs I actually know personally. What's up with that?!?

I liked having a whole bunch of random doggie friends (and, no, not ONLY because it made me seem really, really popular)... the fact that these strangers even wanted to be friends with me was nice and neighborly. Now that they've been deleted, people are going to think I'm a snob! But, I'm not a snob. I just happen to know some weird humans who are obsessed with Griffons... Can't say that I blame them but, still, I'm not elitist like that. I love all dogs.... well, except this nasty poodle that bit me once at the dog park and made me bleed. Other than that, I like all dogs... and don't discriminate between different colors, sizes, and breeds.

So, I'm sorry to those dogs that got deleted. I didn't do it! It wasn't me! I love everybody. Blame the humans... they do weird things sometimes.

On another note, since I'm writing in my diary, I may as well share the fact that I had a really, really good weekend. I got to go to the dog park for, I don't know, HOURS!! I met 5 other Griffons! And I got to do a lot of playing. It was warm this weekend, like 70 degrees or something! And that meant that the dirt in the park had dried out so that when I ran around in my crazy super-speed, 4th-gear circles, I could kick up clouds of dust... that made me look like a really fast race car or some kind of motocross bike. It was so cool! I was so fast. Because it was a nice day, there were lots of people out and about and so I had a whole audience outside the dog park. Lots of people were talking about me... saying "look at that crazy shaggy one!" and one woman even said I could FLY.

Also, I don't know WHAT it is... but pugs love me. Pugs love me like bees love honey, like fish love water... it's really bizarre. I wonder why. I like pugs and all... but pugs are CRAZY about me.

If you can't take the heat, get out o' the kitchen

That's right. I'm bad. I'm bad, I'm bad, I know it. Now that I'm almost a year old and I'm starting to grow up and figure out how things work, I'm not going to take no crap from nobody. That means: If I want to eat toilet paper, I'll eat toilet paper. If I want to eat credit card bills, I'll eat those too. If I want to snack on some newspaper, I'll snack on some newspaper. If I want to chew on my mom's work-related conference notes, why not?!? The bottom line is: I like paper. And when I want to eat paper, there ain't no one that can get in my way. I didn't even KNOW that I could growl and sound big and scary until that day my mom tried to take away a wad of toilet paper from me as I was munching on it in my little teacup bed... but growl I did. I don't even know where it came from.

My only regret is that I snapped at her... I didn't mean to do that. I have to learn to control my temper.

My mom was really worried that I was a bad dog and she said she didn't know where she'd gone wrong. But that's b/c she's an emotional basketcase sometimes. I was just asserting my rights as an individual... that's all. I mean, after all, I don't tell my mom what she can and cannot eat, do I?

It's paper, man. It drives me cra-a-a-a-a-a-a-zy.

Leapin' Lizards?!? No! Leapin' Griffey!

Psst! Want in on a secret? I can leap over my baby-gate. Yup. It is true. No matter how high those dummys put it, I can hop hop hop over it. No more being trapped in my puppy room. Now I can chill out and watch t.v. on the couch whenever I want. What's that? Oh yeah, I can turn on the t.v. too, you dumb dumb. What, dogs can't turn the t.v. on? Then they must be stoopid or something. Babies!

But don't ask me to hop over the gate as a trick. I only leap for freedom, not for tricks. You dum dum dummy! Now leave me ALONE!

School's Out

I don't know if many of you know this: but I've been getting educated. Yup, I've been playing hard during the day and attending puppy school at night. It's been hard work... long hours... and, at times, has caused a whole lot of self doubt as to whether or not academia was for me. In the end, though, I decided that I was going to finish what I started and get that DIPLOMA!!!

Thanks to puppy school, I can now sit, lay down, leave kibbles and things on the floor when I'm not supposed to eat them (it has to do with this thing I learned called "impulse control"), stay, and- this one's my FAVORITE- spin around. On the last day we had to perform one of our tricks for the entire room. It was intimidating, all those people and all those puppies staring at me... judging me. I almost forgot how to spin. I got distracted and starting hopping around on my back paws. But, then, I realized that this moment represented what I'd been working so hard for these past few weeks: my DIPLOMA!!! So, I calmed down, looked at my mom... waited for my cue... and then did 5 spins in a row. Everyone applauded. I got a treat. I got my diploma, and I graduated.

They didn't do class rank or anything like that- or, if they did, they didn't tell us about it. But I'm pretty sure I graduated at the top of my class. For one thing, I was SO IMPROVED. My first day I was all barky and hoppy and just wanted to play and jump on the other dog's heads. By the end of those six weeks, I would sit still on the floor, eating my bone, listening to the teacher. See, the thing I learned is that NOT EVERY TIME IS PLAY TIME and that structured play time is better than just running around rampant, tearing up the place, harrassing people and jumping on other dog's heads.

It hasn't even been one week since my graduation. My diploma still hasn't been framed. But I keep practicing my tricks. I keep sitting and spinning and downing and staying and leaving it. I'm done with school for a little while, I think. That was HARD WORK. I know that everyone's proud of me... and I'm proud of me. It wasn't so bad... that education business. Maybe in a little while, after I've taken some time off to "find myself", I can go back to school to study some of these things a little further. I hear they have classes for tricks... and adolescent dogs... and also for this thing called "fragility". oh, whoops... sorry, "agility"... thanks for correcting me, mom. (my mom still has to proof-read my diaries... we didn't really go over too much creative or essay writing in class... we're just puppies, d'uh).

My Ears

Most people tell me to write about my super fun trips to Westchester, Nantucket, or the Hamptons. Others tell me I should write about romping around in Prospect Park or the time I won some free stuff at a dog show for therapy dogs (I'm not a therapy dog, I'm too little... but maybe I will be one day if I stop teething and eating everything). But, no... I don't want to write about those things. I want to write about my ears!

My ears used to be floppy. I kind of liked them floppy b/c they'd bounce around when I ran and it was really cute. I like anything that makes me cuter. My GOAL in life is to be the cutest and get the most attention of any dog that ever lived. I love when strangers talk about me and try to pet me. I love when my mom tells me how cute I am and that I smell kind of like caramel. I don't think I smell like caramel. I think my mom is NUTS. But, I digress...

My ears used to be floppy, and then they stood up. And standing-up-ears were good b/c I could hear better and I could slick them back when I ran to make myself more streamlined. I like to flatten my ears to my head and pretend I'm a torpedo when I'm running around.

But THEN one of my ears flopped back over... and, I have to say, I did NOT like the one-flop look. It was way too new-agey and Flock of Seagulls for me. I don't like to be alternative and counter-culture... I just want to be perfect. So, I went to the vet and he was kind of enough to tape my ear up in a little bandage. He said that if I pulled the bandage off, my mom could reconstruct a little splint for my ear out of a tampon. I thought that was gross. I would SO get made fun of by the other dogs if I had a tampon taped to my head!! I waited a few days, hoped she would forget about the whole tampon thing, and then pulled the bandage off.

With the bandage off, my ear flopped again. My mom decided not to take me back to the vet b/c the bandage was silly and all I would do was scratch at it and cry when the tape pulled on my fluff. She resigned herself to my one-flop Flock of Seagulls ear and that was that. But, you see, I'm a tough little pup and I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to... so, one day, while I was all alone in the apartment, I concentrated real hard, practiced while looking at my reflection in the garbage can, and got my ear to stand up again! All by myself! Now I have two, perfect, perky ears that I can flop when I want them to, slick them back if I need them to, and everyone is so, so proud of me!!