Life of the Turner Dog

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Possible Closure Soon....

November 3rd 2011 3:55 pm
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Daddy called me at work tonight. He said that there was a message on the answering machine. It was the Investigator on your case. I have to call him tommorrow to discuss the complaint against that mean vet. Hopefully we can hold him accountable for you suffering with cancer the way you did. My fingers are crossed that things will go our way.


Six Months...

October 15th 2011 6:58 pm
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Six months ago your dad and I made the hardest decision ever, to let you go to heaven free of cancer. I still cry when I think of that horrible day. But I know we made the right choice. To let you suffer would've been wrong.

I'm at Chincoteague today. I needed a break and a breather. Aunt Jackie and I are here at a house we rented. It's beautiful. We got to the beach just after sunset.

Aunt Jackie brought Buster's ashes and will release them to the winds this week. I can't do that. I can't part with you, she's so brave to set her boy totally free. I was stunned when she told me she had Buster Boy with her. I understand the need to free...

You're case is still under investigation with the State Licensing Board. I will not sleep until that man is held accountable for all of the pain he caused you, me and your dad.

I'm going for sunrise tommorrow, time to yell at God for taking you away from me too soon. Maybe one day I'll forgive him, not now though. We had things to do for the next several years and he robbed me of that so I'm a little pissed. You had to leave too soon. Maybe that's selfish of me, but it's how I feel. When I say you were my best friend you know what I mean.

I love you Turner, my Mr. Man, my best friend, and miss you so much.



We have a new guy in the house, his name is Grunt. He is no substitute for you, no dog could ever replace you. But he is a good boy. He is so quiet and calm for a pitbull. I believe people when they say you sent him to us. He is Baby, Boomer and you wrapped up in one! When he gets the zoomies he reminds me of you so much. He's brought sun back into our dreary existance and is healing your family. Needless to say he has a big job ahead of him.


Missing You Tonight

September 27th 2011 7:28 pm
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Just am, it sucks. I would give anything, anything to have you with me again....


Read This and Thought of You Turner

September 24th 2011 2:03 am
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Should You Go First
Should you go first and I remain
to walk the road alone,
I'll live in memories garden dear,
with happy days we've known.

In spring I'll wait for roses red,
when faded, the lilacs blue.
In early fall when brown leaves fall,
I'll catch a glimpse of you.

Should you go first and I remain,
for battle to be fought.
Each thing you've touched along the way
will be a hallowed spot.

I'll hear your voice, I'll see your smile,
though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand
will buoy me on with hope.

Should you go first and I remain,
one thing I'll have you do:
Walk slowly down that long long path,
for soon I'll follow you.

I want to know each step you take,
so I may take the same.
For someday down that lonely road
you'll hear me call your name.

~by Albert Kennedy "Rosey" Rowsell~


5 months ago today you left us...

September 15th 2011 12:01 pm
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Not because we wanted you to, but because you were suffering and it wasn't fair to you. There is such a big hole in our lives without you. But we know that you are not in pain.

We love you so much and miss you even more!

Mom and Dad


3 months ago today...

July 15th 2011 5:29 am
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We let you go to heaven free of pain and discomfort. No more suffering. I miss you so much. I still cry everyday and everytime I think of you. It's just so damn unfair! There is no joy in my life and I hate it. I miss you bahba and wish you were still here...

Thinking of you...




June 30th 2011 11:47 am
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So I got Turners name and dates tattooed on below his portrait. On the way over to the tattoo shop I realized that I wanted to add a dragonfly to the design. Since Turner has passed there has been a dragonfly that will come around when I talk to him. Very cool looking has black and white stripes. So I got to the shop and we got online to fine the right one. Shazaam!! Found it! After all was done I was heading home and thinking about the dragonfly and Turner. I parked at the house go to walk into the house and next to the door is the same dragonfly! Swear to God! I went in to get my camera because I know nobody will believe me and just think I'm nuts. Well of course I couldn't get the darn thing to sit still to take a picture. Then I realized I was crying. I didn't even feel the tears. But I felt like my boy was there - again!


Happy Birthday Turner - Miss You!

June 25th 2011 3:54 am
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When I picked you up from the shelter you had no birthday. So I shared mine with you. June 25th. Happy Birthday Mr. Man. You've been gone for 2 months 10 days and I miss you so much. There is such a big hole in my heart. I still cry everyday because I miss you. I miss your energy and your smile. I miss my Turner hugs when I get home from work. I wonder if I'll ever feel good again.

I took the day off of work to try and have a happy birthday, but just feel so sad. I wonder if the sun will ever shine again in my world.

Happy Birthday Turner - I Miss You!



You are home...

May 14th 2011 1:41 pm
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One month and one day after we let you go to heaven you are home. Dad and I picked up your remains and paid the final bill. The final bill...

Dad and I went to Chincoteague for the week. Darcy went to the kennel to play - she was so happy to see the other dogs - the kennel was full of new friends for her to play with. Her tail was going like crazy.

Every morning I got up before dawn and went to Assateague to watch the sunrise and talk to God. I spoke my peace, cussed and yelled and let it all out. I told got that he robbed me of time with you, that you were my joy and it wasn't fair that you were taken from us. I found this huge piece of driftwood about 3 miles up the beach. It was turned on end and looked like a tree. Only it was covered with shells. It was so beautiful. I found a conch shell and whispered my love to you in it and set it on the tree. When we left Friday it was still there along with other shells and dreams... I took dad out to show him and he though it was beautiful as well.

Now we have your remains here, you have a beautiful urn and we have lockets with your ashes in every vehicle and one around my neck. You are with us again. Forever...

I still cry but only because I miss you so... I still can't fall asleep and look forward to daylight so I don't have to try... I know this will all pass one day and that life goes on but for now I still look for you...


So Sad... :(

May 8th 2011 12:42 pm
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Friday was three weeks that you left us. I'm still crying and don't know if I'll ever stop. When I sleep I have dreams with you and wake up to find you not there. I don't hear you sleeping on the sofa or next to me. For the first time in a long, long time I'm scared. If anyone or anything make a sound at night you let me know. Now I lock the doors and wake at any sound...

I've taken Darcy to grandma and grandpa's, it was so hard without you there. No walks along Penns Creek, no frisbee playing, no watching you watch/chase the squirrels at the bird feeders... I've never been so sad, I just miss you so much. I don't regret putting you to sleep, when Dr. Mount said that you were suffering I knew it was the right thing to do. You didn't deserve to be in pain at all. You were innocent in the whole situation.

I'm so angry, I'm waiting for your remains to come back and pay the final bill. I'm getting a copy of your file from Dr. Mount and filing against Dr. MacNeil for not completing the requested biopsy in December. He robbed me of my time with you, so I feel that he should be reprimanded or something. Had he done the biopsy like I asked maybe we could've had some heads up and tried to help you. Instead he said everything was alright and now you're gone... I just want to file with the State Boards and get it all off of my chest. Maybe I'll feel better.

I sent some of your new toys and stuff to Southpaws Express. Darcy doesn't play with them, but I kept a few just in case. I'm slowly putting your stuff away. The worst was putting your camo coats, frisbee and leads away. I cried so hard it hurts.

I don't know what to do about Darcy. She's coming around more. She really has no choice - she's lonely as well. She did good at grandma and granpas. She enjoyed the quiet driveway and watching the birds/squirrels at the bird feeder. When someone came in she tried to disappear through the floor. We're changing shifts on June 18th and I don't want her to be alone. Dad and I may decided to get her a friend, but I'm so scared. Scared that if we bring another dog in the house that he/she will get sick and we'll lose another dog. I know I'll never be able to replace you, I wouldn't even try. But it doesn't seem fair to Darcy either. So what do I do? Dad is concerned also. He's seen more than his share of sadness in his world and doesn't know what to say or do with me sometimes. I thought I was crazy for all of the crying I've been doing and checked out a Pet Grieving site and found out I'm alright. Turner, you and I spent so much time together in Florida by ourselves before we moved to Texas. Then in Texas when dad was working all of the time and we walked, drove all over creation. Our travels from Texas to Central Pennsylvania to help grandma and grandpa and all of the stops in between.

I never realized how many people you affected. People I forgot you met ask about you and when I tell them that you had cancer and we had you put to sleep they were all sad with us. You changed alot of peoples perspective about Pitbulls! Even conviced a few to foster them and realize what love bugs they are! I still have my sticker on the truck that says, My Best Friend is a Pitbull" It's true, I would tell you every day that your my best friend and I meant it.

Darcy is going to the kennel in a hour for the week. She needs to go play and have some fun. Me and dad are heading to Chincoteague Island, VA. I need some sand between my toes, a quiet sand dune to sit on and have a good cry with dad. I'm hoping that the sun and sea air will cheer me up some.

I love you Turner Man and miss you..


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