December 25th 2004 7:04 am
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Merry Christmas! I want to wish everyone--dogs and their people--a very happy and special day. May you all know the blessings of this most joyous of holidays. I know from experience that I will--there's a full dog paw stocking on the mantle with my name on it :-).

Now I want to mention a thing that happened to me last night. My people--Dad, Mom and Dan--gave me a BATH! On Christmas Eve, for goodness sake! I was just hanging out on the bed, chewing a tug toy, when they called me into the bathroom. I had no inkling of what was to come. After all, it's been AGES since I've been bathed. So they shut the door behind me and turned on the water to the tub. Then I knew... but it was too late! The door was closed and I was surrounded, directed into the tub, sudsed, scrubbed, rinsed and dried. 20 minutes later I was fluffy, clean and sweet smelling. I mean, REALLY!! Sweet Smelling??? Is the KING supposed to smell SWEET??? I think not!

Therefore I give you my fourth proclamation:

Proclamation #4: Dogs are not to be bathed on Holidays or their Eves if at all possible. If a bath is an unavoidable necessity, under no circumstance is the affected dog to be subjected to anything that might make him or her smell "Sweet". Female dogs may be excepted, but only if they ASK to be sweet-smelling. This proclamation is for the good of dog/human relations and the sensitive noses and egos of the affected canines. May everyone who wants to be clean, do so, but for the good of all good dogs, please keep that perfumy stuff away from us!

Oh yeah. They clipped my toenails, too. I HATE that! I swear, if they had got anywhere near my anal glands, I would have had them thrown in the dungeon! *sigh*

Merry Christmas!
Rex