Big Brass Ones

Doh!: A deer, a female deer

September 26th 2009 11:02 am
[ Leave A Comment | 1 person already has ]

Ray: A golden drop of sun

Me: A name I call myself

Fa: A long, long, way...

Wait an arfing minute. That makes no sense at all. Not even if you're from Bahston.

And golden drops of sun are all very well in their place, I'm sure. But the focal point of my story is the doe.

And the me.

I'm Dexter. My partner is the biped. We were working the early morning shift out of Garland Park. Our job: Chase things.

It was a nippy morning in Carmel Valley. The biped and I were headed for the Mesa Pond--same old, same old. It was a little buggy for late September. I didn't mind. I'm a dog. A large dog.

When we got to the pond, there was no one in evidence but a great blue heron. Just standing on the opposite bank like he owned the place. The biped didn't want to bother with him, but I decided he needed to be interrogated. I approached him with all four paws in plain sight. He took flight. I gave chase. He made good his escape. You win some. You lose some. There'd be another day for the heron. There always is.

I investigated the scene thoroughly, then the biped and I went back on patrol: We continued generally southnorthward on the Mesa trail to its junction with the Vaquero trail, where we made a sharp left and continued down hill.

I went on ahead to see what I could scare up, leaving the biped to sweep the trail for stragglers.

Some minutes later, I came upon a pair of adolescent mule deer. Or possibly they were white-tail deer. All deer look alike in the dark, as the saying goes. And these two looked like they could use the privacy, if you know what I mean.

When the pair spotted me, the young buck said, I'm pretty sure he's here to see you, honey. I've got to go point Percy at the pavement. I'll be right back. And with that, he bounded off nonchalantly through the underbrush.

Maybe he was trying to draw me off. Maybe he really did have to point Percy at the pavement--though there wasn't any for two miles in any direction. Either way, I wasn't having any of it.

Your parents know where you are, young lady? I asked the doe.

Look! she yelled, pointing one dainty hoof over my shoulder.

When I turned my magnificent head to look, she lit out like a shot out of a firecracker, making a dog-awful crashing through the underbrush.

But I was on her like stink on ugly or stupid on a cat, as the saying goes. And I'd've caught up with her, too, if the biped hadn't started blowing his whistle just about then.

I put on the brakes like a Ural falling off a cliff and headed back to see what was up.

What's up, Boss? I said when I reestablished contact with the biped.

You know that heron, Dexter?

The great blue one?

That's the one.

What about it?

Turns out it's turned up missing.

Spit!

You know something about it, Dexter?

Not a thing, Boss.

Well, any way you look at it, Dexter, we're going to have to get you back to the station and bathed. The lieutenant wants to see you.

Spit.

 
 

Leave A Comment | 1 person already has

Barked by: Morgan Anna Maria- Bridge Ange (Dogster Member)

September 23rd 2010 at 7:55 am

OH dearest Chairman! You are LUCKY!!! I'd LOVE to get that chance! Chasing deer would be SOO exciting!


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