Muchos Gracias!

Muchos gracias for the well-wishes during my one-week reign as Dog of the Week! The mommy gave me a bullystick, which Nina-the-Yorkie promptly took from me.

We Chihuahuas are one step closer to WORLD DOMINATION.

Dog of the Week

Dogster Dog of the Week, eh? Just one more step towards WORLD DOMINATION FOR ALL CHIHUAHUAS! Heh. Heh. Heh.

(And perhaps a bullystick and new dress from the mommy?)

Back for the attack

Hello. I am sorry for the delay with the updating. It is not so much that I have been busy as the mommy has been busy and I rely on her to work the keyboard for me.

The mommy has these things that she puts up in our faces, then it makes a clicking noise. She used to have a little one. However, last weekend she came home with a big one. I heard her tell the daddy that it was very expensive so extra precaution must be taken. Now she's putting that thing and clicking it in my face all the time. To make matters worse, she drug me and the stinky Nina all the way up to our favorite park and wouldn't let me chase the squirrels! I had to sit in a bed of flowers. Nina didn't mind it because she likes to eat flowers, and frankly I think she's a little slow in the brain. But I HATED IT.

So I must device a plan to get rid of the big clicky thing. Ideas?

Life in slow-motion.

Nothing exciting going on. The Mommy and the Daddy have been busy, but still find time to take me and the Nina for a walk. It has been nice outside. I like to walk really fast and the Nina likes to walk really slow, so I end up dragging her most of the way which isn't fair because she weighs more than me.

On Saturday, a new polo shirt came in the mailbox for the Nina. It has an elephant on the sleeve, which is the Mommy's favorite. The Mommy told me a new dress is coming for me, too. I'm not sure about how I feel about that. If it's green or purple, I think I'll be okay. I'd much rather be naked and allowed to gorge on a box of the Isaac Mizrahi dog cookies from the Target, though. I ask for that all the time. I've never asked for a dress!

Violetta diMonkey and the case of the Stinky Schween.

So I have this sister, Nina. She is a Yorkie. She hates my brothers but for some reason likes me. This I do not question.

A few weeks ago, we were laying side by side in bed. She rolled over and playfully licked the side of my head. YUCK! The stench. I almost died.

The next day, I decided to mention something to my sister. That is when she showed me this neat trick where she could wiggle one of her back teeth with her tongue. Unfortunately, it was in the midst of this that The Mommy caught her.

And so my sister Nina (or Stinky Schween as she had become known as) was whisked away to the Vet person. She came back and told me that it wasn't so bad. He just poked her mouth.

But THEN a few days later, she got whisked away again! This time suddenly. And she was gone the whole day!

My People took me along when they picked her up. Drats! She was at the Vet person again! When Stinky Schween crawled into the car, I did not recognize her. She whimpered feebly and closed her eyes.

Something about her was definitely different. I stuck my nose into the hair around her neck and sniffed. That was the same. I stuck my nose into her ear. That was the same. Finally I stuck my nose into her mouth. And...nothing. The stench was gone!

Nina wasn't able to talk for a whole day, but when she finally did talk she told me she went in for the Dental Cleaning and the Teeth Pulling. She said it hurt like heck, but it felt better to have the teeth out. And now she is no longer the Stinky Schween. At least until the weather warms up and she finds a good dead bird to roll in....

Happy Birthday to ME!

I was laying in my favorite chair, working on my tan, when all of a sudden my mommy grabbed me and yanked my sweater off. She replaced it with a pink dress and a strand of pearls. Then, she plunked me down at the table with Nina and my brothers. In the middle was a cake, just for me! Banana with cream cheese frosting, my favorite. My daddy cut the cake into four pieces. Four pieces was a bit much for my small frame, but if they insisted...Wait! They're giving the pieces to my brothers! It's MY birthday! Who said I had to share? Plech.

Gus tried to inhale his piece in one gulp, so I decided to show him the lady-like way to eat. My mommy was so proud- I think she was having flashbacks to Gus' birthday party last July where I mashed cream cheese frosting into my ears and eyelashes and needed two baths to get it all off. Hee.

So! I got a new pink party dress and a Chewy Vuitton purse. But the boys have taken a fancy to the purse, so now it stinks from their slobber. Blech. But I still like to play with it because it's the perfect size for me. I think I need to tell my mommy to get the boys their own purses.

Happy First Birthday to me!

Da Poot Da Poot Da Poot Da Poot

'Ello. It's been awhile again, and for that I apologize sincerely. Nothing too exciting really goes on in my world, I hate to confess. Last weekend my people went down to Omaha without me. This was the first time I was ever left home without my mommy, and it really ticked me off. I was forced to play with my brothers. Rocco rubbed himself all over the couch and gave me a nasty electric shock. He'll get his.

So when my people came back, my mommy was all excited about some new pet boutique down in Omaha called Luxe Pet Boutique. She said it had lots of neat things, and tons of doggy tee-shirts. Oh dear God please spare me from another tee-shirt.

My mommy whipped out a pair of booties that she got there. They were pink with white fur around the top. She put them on me, and I actually rather liked them except I kept kicking them off. Then she took them off of me and put them on my sister, Nina. WHAT! Those were MINE! Now Nina is prancing around in them and she never kicks them off. So unfair.

I heard my mommy talking to my daddy about a birthday party this weekend. I hope it's for me. And I hope it involves banana cake with cream cheese frosting, like we had for my brother's birthday. And I hope they don't make me share it.

Butterflies and Kangaroos.

So tonight I got a bath. It seems that my people think I'm some sort of stinky Chihuahua. I will admit that I AM a Chihuahua...and okay, I stink too. But holy macaroni! As soon as my fur gets the least bit wet, it frizzes like a mofo. So now my stinky hair day has turned into a bad hair day. Mwah.

Hmph.

'Ello. My name is Violetta diMonkey, but most call me "Violet". However, the occasional nut job tries to get me to respond to "Poopty-Woopty". They're so stupid.

So I am a Chihuahua. People seem to not like that. I get called a "rat" a lot. I also like to scare little children that come too close.

So what if I'm only 4 lbs. I'm the biggest dog in this pack of stupid mutts. Except for Gus. Once, I stuck my head into his mouth to get a piece of food and he accidentally bit down.

My people like to take me places, but only if I'm dressed up. Last weekend we went all the way to Denver to see my cousin, Kitty. She's a long-haired Chihuahua, too, but she's crazy. I also got to see my other cousins, Yoda and LuLu. They are cats. They look almost identical and they confuse me. They like to hide under my people's bed, and then they grab me as I walk past. They also like to play with my George W. Bush doll with me, and sometimes they'll let me play with their cat-nip toys.

I heard one of my people talking about Christmas pictures this weekend. That better not include me.