How to get what you want in ten easy steps.

Ever wanted to get your human out of bed, off the couch, off the phone, or worse, the dreaded computer? There are many reasons why we canines would need our personal attendents to get up. We may need to be fed, or let out to potty. We may desire a walk, a cuddle, or a game of fetch. Perhaps you are concerned about your humans cardio vascular health, and want them to move around more, or you are a herding dog and cannot rest until everyone is in the same room. Whatever the reason, you have a message to communicate to your human. But your human doesn't speak dog. Why they refuse to learn dog I will never understand. Afterall, we learned human. "Sit" "Down" "Come" "Go Potty" etc. My human vocabulary is far greater than my humans dog vocabularay, but I digress.

How to get what you want from your human in ten easy steps.

1) Sit and stare. This may seem simple but it is highly effective. For whatever reason, being stared at really disturbes most humans. Even a human deeply involved in something as sinister as "emai" will notice within minutes, that there is a dog staring at them.

2) Rest your head on your human's knee. If they haven't noticed the pitiful puppy eyes yet, this simple gesture is sure to get their attention. This may incite the human to absentmindedly pet you. If this is all you wanted, you can stop here, if not, continue to step three.

3) Bump your humans hand with your cold nose. This indicates to the human that you are wanting an action of some sort. The colder the nose the better.

4) Wiggle. Wag your tail, wag your whole body, do a little dance in place. This gives your pleadings a sense of urgency.

5) Whine a little. Not too much, as humans find this annoying. But sometimes, you have to be annoying to get what you want.

6) Do something cute. At this point its best to do something your human usually asks you to do. Like sit, or lay down, Offer your paw to shake. This is to communicate to the human, " I do what you ask, now I am asking you for something?"

7) By this time you should have your humans full attention. If not, try something new, a trick they don't know you know. Turn a carwheel, or bring them their underwear from the laundry (especially effective if there are other humans in the room)

8) If you human hasn't stirred, up the ante. Bark, whine excessively, bonk them repeatedly with your nose, (Just never, ever, use your teeth. That is deffinate bad dog territory)

9) Now, you have them up, tell them what you want. Dinner? run towards the kitchen . Potty, stand at the back door. Play? Toss a squeaky toy into their lap. Walk? Bring them your leash. If the human doesn't understand the first time, don't give up. They will usually keep guessing until they figure out what you want.

10) Reward your human. Make sure you thank your human for meeting your needs. An extra cuddle, some kisses on the hand, an adoring look, all will do the trick. Remember, when training your human, positive reinforcement is best!

Good luck!
Moxie

Happy New Year!

Well happy new year everyone! I hope you had a great howliday season! I did. Mom and I spent a month with Grandmama in Texas. We are going back to Mexico tomorrow.

So Mom wrote all about her new years resolutions in her blog, so I thought I would make some resolutions and write about them here.

This year, I will not chase horses and I will stay off of balconies. I will swim in the lake and run with my friends every chance I get. I will fetch my tennis balls and squeak my toys with joy. I will go outside and go potty when mommy says, even if it's raining. I will love my humans with all the love in my little puppy heart. I will give kisses when they are sad, and I will play with them when they are happy. I will never let food go to waste. I will act as both referee and keeper of the rule book for the cats. I will nap in the sunshine every chance I get. I will live every day to the fullest and live in the moment.

You know, I don't know why you humans have to resolve to do things. With the exception of the not chasing horses part, I do all of those things everyday anyway. Its just part of being a dog.

Foot Loose and Leash Free!

Finally! After five long months, I mommy is allowed to let me run around like a maniac again! My leg is much better and I am almost my old self again.

Mom says trying to keep me still was like trying to hold back Niagra falls, I don't know what that means, but I sure didn't like being still one bit.

I hope I never break a leg again. (So does Mommy I think)

I'm back in Mexico and loving every minute. Check out my new pictures of me in my mountain home!

The moral of the story.....

I'm here today to offer a bit of advice to all you pups out there.
LISTEN TO YOUR MOMMY's and DADDY's WHEN THEY TELL YOU SOMETHING.

My Mommy told me to stop chasing horses. Don't bark at them, don't growl and them and definately don't chase them.

But I thought, whats the harm? Especially from WAY up here on the balcony. That stupid horse, walks around all cocky. I just wanted to put him in his place.

But the balcony was slippery and before I could get off my best horsey insults, I was falling through the air. I hit the ground and my legs hurt really bad.

Mommy wasn't mad at me at all. She was really sad and really worried. We drove in the car for a long time to get back to Texas. I had an opporation on Tuesday to fix my broken leg and I am feeling much better now.

But the moral of the story is....DON'T CHASE HORSES!

Travelin Dog

BowWow! I really love Mexico! I get to go with my Mommy everywhere, the school, the square, the stores, the taco stands....I especially like the taco stands. Everywhere I go people tell me how beautiful, and adorable, and sweet, and smart and wonderful I am. At least, I think thats what they are saying.

Mexico is a tasty place! I've never had such wonderful food! My mommy has put me on a "Natural Diet" and I'm not complaining. I get lots of yummy meats and bones. Every now and then, the Torta lady will sneak me some chicken, or goat. Mmmmm, goat. Mommy is going to get me some goats to chase. She calls it 'herding' but, whatever. I'm gonna chase 'em!

Mommy got a couple of funny looking long eared hopping cats that she keeps on the porch. Mommy doesn't let me chase those, but it's fun to watch them hop around and think about chasing them.

I have another new hobby too. I like to hang out on the balcony and bark at horses that pass by on the street below. Yep, nothing better than an afternoon of barking at horses. Its great fun, you should all try it! Mommy got mad at me though, when I barked at a carriage horse in that big town we went to, Gwadalacara, or something like that. (It's Guadalajara, Mox, and barking at horses is dangerous, stop it.) Never mind my mom, she's no fun. :(

We've been traveling alot lately. We went to Gwadala, whatever, and had a great time. I chased pidgeons in the Grand Plaza, and was admired by hundreds as we walked through the markets. A nice lady in front of the Cathedral gave me a rosary to wear. I'm a proper catholic dog now. (But I will still eat meat on fridays...I don't like carrots.) We also visited Tequila. That town was all about booze. Apparently, I'm still cute even to drunk people cause I got lots of compliments there too!

It's a busy life for a dog here. So much to see and do all the time. My Mommy teaches school, and I have to keep track of all the kids for her during the day, and guard the house from evil horses at night, and keep an eye on those hoppy cats, and make sure mommy doesn't eat anything bad (by tasting it for her first) and helping her at the markets, and the plaza, and the stores, and the taco stand....she especially needs my help at the taco stand. I hope everyone out there in dogster land is doing well. Remember...about horses.

-Moxie

Mexico

WOOF! What a week it has been. My Mommy took me to some place called MEXICO.

We drove in the car forever. I thought Mommy had lost her mind and moved us out of our house and we were living in the car now. I like the car and all, but I missed my bed.

Everytime I woke up we were in some new and different place. Mexico is a very fragrant place, and there are SO MANY DOGS! They are EVERYWHERE! But of course, none of them are as cute, smart, and sweet as I am. Just ask my Mommy, she will tell you.

I really like it here. Its cold at night, so I get to snuggle close to mommy. I can go everywhere with mommy too. They like doggies alot in Mexico, and I already have lots of new friends. Mommy says they have dillos here too, but I haven{t seen any yet.

I do miss my grandmama, and my Uncle James, but Mommy says we will go visit them in a few months. I am looking forward to seeing my Grandmama again, but Mommy says when we come back next time, we are bringing the evil katz with us to Mexico. Im not so sure about that. I kind of like being the only baby in Mommys life. Oh well. I guess I will enjoy it while it lasts.

OH and I am learning spanish. I already know how to speak, sit, and down in spanish. The rest of the doggies here don{t speak spanish, they speak regular dog, so I can talk to them just fine. Alot of them dont have mommys, or bed to sleep in at night, or houses to go back to, or dinner or breakfast....its really sad. Im so glad I have my Mommy and I LUV MEXICO!

-kisses and nose bonks, Moxie

Dillo-Dog

I found the COOLEST THING today! Mom says its an "Army-dillo"

It was too neat! I've never said anything like it! Mommy wouldn't let me play with it though. :( Something about being a protected species or something. I say, finders keepers. I found him, so he's mine. She still wouldn't let me bring him home. Sometimes Mommy is NO FUN!

But he sure was nifty! He replaces Oppossums and Moles as the coolest thing I've ever found on a walk.

-Moxie

Now is the time for all GOOD DOGS to come to the aid of- their people....

Its the Christmas season. Supposed to be a time of Joy and Merriment....then why isn't your human happy? You may ask. Is your human stressed out, working hard, decorating the house for company, cooking big meals, or wrapping lots of boxes?

here is what you, the family dog, can do to help bring joy and merriment to your family this holiday season.

1) Keep your loved ones company during those marathon baking sessions in the kitchen. Always be on the ready to assist in any way, especially if it appears your human is carrying large trays of hot food! Always be Available to clean up spills!

2) Lend a paw with the gift wrapping. This can be anything from standing on the paper (to keep it from blowing away) or keeping the cats out of the way (they get the tape all furry.)

3) Help your human with the housework. Check all the beds in the house, be certain the linens are fresh and clean. This requires lots of sniffing and rolling around. No time to worry about shedding, besides, the guests won't mind.

4) Help with the decorating. Humans have horrible taste! You may need to re-decorate the tree a few times before the humans understand your "feng shui" of fir trees. And for you boys, remember, trees inside the house are NOT suitable as urinals. Once again, you may be called upon to keep the cat out of the tree (she may mess up your feng shui!)

5) Outdoor decorating is always a chore. This is where you can be your humans cheerleader! Up on the roof, installing lighted Santa, dance around the ladder cheering him on! Shoveling snow off the walk or the driveway! Show your puppy enthusiasm by pouncing in the snow drifts!

Remember, this holiday season, it's up to you, the family dog, to warm their hearts and brighten their days!

-Moxie

I am NOT an Austamerican Shepherd!

Lets get just one thing straight, for the record. Just because I am unbelievably adorable, loving, intelligent and all-over wonderful, does not mean I am in any part an Austramerican Shepherd. I have nothing against Austramerican Shepherds mind you, they are lovely dogs, but I am an AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG mix. There are some very distince differences between the AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG and the AUSTRAMERICAN SHEPHERD.

First, the AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOG actually originated in Australia! Whereas, the AUSTRAMERICAN SHEPHERD (Aka, Australian Shepherd) is an American Breed, masquerading as a dingo dog from down under.

Second, AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOGS have TAILS, or are supposed to anyway, before ignorant humans cut them off. AUSTRAMERICAN SHEPHERDS do not have tails. They are nub shakers, I am a tail wagger.

Third, AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOGS have pretty standy-uppy ears, and AUSTRAMERICAN SHEPHERDS have floppy hangy-downy ears.

Fourth, AUSTRALIAN CATTLE DOGS have beautiful speckled, or mottled coats, while AUSTRAMERICAN SHEPHERDS come in merles, Tri's, Solid or sable colors.

really, the list goes on and on, but just look at me playing this past weekend with a group of Austramerican Shepherds, the differences should be obvious.
http://www.jjleigh.com/erwin10-22/index.htm

Love and kisses, Moxie - the Australian Cattle dog mix.

Moxie's Rules for the peaceful co-habitation of cats and- dogs.

Rules for Cats:
1) Do not attempt to eat out of the dogs dish while he/she is still eating. You may be allowed to lick the remains, after the dog has finished his/her meal, and left the room.

2) Do not urinate on the dog's bed. That is very disrespectful and even the most docile, understanding dog will not tolerate such behavior. You may sleep on the dogs bed if at such time, the dog is not occupying the bed.

3) Do not attemp to steal the dogs treats.

4) Do not attempt to jump into Mom or Dad's lap, while Mom or Dad is playing with, petting, talking to, or otherwise paying attention to the dog.

5)Do not hide under the computer desk when Mom is vaccuming the rug. That is MY hiding place, find your own.

6) When I have friends over, they will do their best to respect your space, do NOT go out of your way to hiss, growl, scratch or otherwise harass my friends. Their indifference to your presence is out of respect for me, the dog, and retaliation will be encouraged.

7) No game is to be played at the expense of, or indifference to the dog. Such as chase the dogs tail, or leap over the dog while she is sleeping on the floor. Any blatant taunting, teasing or harassing of the dog by the cat will be tolerated to a point, then dealt with when the humans aren't around.

8) Do not play with the dogs toys.

Rules for Dogs:

1) Do not eat the cat food.

2) Do not eat the cat toys.

3) Do not eat the cat.

4) Do not herd the cats, unless the cats are in violation of one of the above stated ruled. Herding is an exceptable punishment.

5). Do not attempt to snack out of the litterbox while it is yet occupied.

6). The cats ARE allowed to play, wrestle, or engage in other forms of merriment in your presence. Such games are not to be broken up, unless at scuffle or spat occures, in which case it is your duty to referee the situation. *This is unless the game is in violation of rule 7 or 8 for cats, or in any ways disturbs or annoys the humans.

7) Do not bark , growl at or bite cats that are inside the house. Any cat outside of the house, however, is fair game.

8) It is the dogs responsibility to keep the cats in line. We may never understand why humans keep these beasts as pets, nevertheless, it is our duty. We must be diligent, firm, and fair. Be cognizant of the human rules pertaining to cats, i.e., no cats on the counters, or no cats outside. It is the dogs solemn responsibility to keep the peace at all costs.

No one said it was easy being a dog.