Dog House Rules

1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built wooden compartment named, for very good reason, the dog house.

2. Okay, the dog can enter the house, but only for short visits or if his own house is under renovation.

3. Okay, the dog can stay in the house on a permanent basis, provided his dog house can be sold in a yard sale to a rookie dog owner.

4. Inside the house, the dog is not allowed to run free and is confined to a comfortable but secure metal cage.

5. Okay, the cage becomes part of a two-for-one deal along with the dog house in the yard sale, and the dog can go wherever he pleases.

6. The dog is never allowed on the furniture.

7. Okay, the dog can get on the old furniture but not the new furniture.

8. Okay, the dog can get up on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture and then we'll sell the whole works and buy new furniture... upon which the dog will most definitely not be allowed.

9. The dog never sleeps on the bed. Period.

10. Okay, the dog can sleep at the foot of the bed.

11. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you, but he's not allowed under the covers.

12. Okay, the dog can sleep under the covers but not with his head on the pillow.

13. Okay, the dog can sleep alongside you under the covers with his head on the pillow, but if he snores he's got to leave the room.

14. Okay, the dog can sleep and snore and have nightmares in bed, but he's not to come in and sleep on the couch in the TV room, where I'm now sleeping. That's just not fair.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Dog
by Shel Silverstein

Tonight's my first night as a watchdog,
And here it is Christmas Eve.
The children are sleeping all cozy upstairs,
While I'm guardin' the stockin's and tree.

What's THAT now --- footsteps on the rooftop?
Could it be a cat or a mouse?
Who's THIS down the chimney???
A thief with a beard, and a big sack for robbin' the house!!!

I'm barkin' --- I'm growlin' --- I'm bitin' his butt,
He howls and jumps back in his sleigh!
I scare his strange horses, they leap in the air,
I've frightened the whole bunch away!

Now the house is all peaceful and quiet again.
The stockin's are safe as can be.
Won't the kiddies be glad when they wake up tomorrow,
And see how I've guarded the tree!

:o)

Merry Christmas!

I've Been Love Tagged!!!

There's a new game on Dogster called 'Love Tagged'. You choose three Special Pups who mean a lot to you and explain why. Explaining why they mean so much to me is easy, the hard part is picking only three!!!

I was lucky enough to be "Love Tagged' by Magnolia and Abby Grace. I don't really know what I've done to deserve such an Honor - because they're two of THE MOST beautiful, thoughtful, loving girls on Dogster!

So, onto my 'Love Tags'!

First, I'm 'Love Tagging' Ruby! Ruby's a beauty! She always makes me smile - especially when she calls me her "Love Muffin'! And, you just know that if you ever needed ANYTHING, Ruby would be first in line to help you out! I love my Ruby!

Is it okay to "Love Tag' a boy? I hope so, 'cause my second 'Love Tag' is
Conner. Conner was one of my first buddies on Dogster and he's one of The Coolest guys you'd ever want to meet!

Then there's Maggie. Maggie is silly, sweet and charming - and she's ALWAYS the Life of the Party! Soon as my Dad says I'm old enough, I'm going to ask Maggie to marry me - she's my Sweetheart!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to the Bestest Dad in ALL The World!

I Love You, Papa!

I've Been Tagged!

My great friends Reign, Abby Grace, Benny, Vinny, Jake Puddin' Britches, Jazz-Marie, Zoe, Molly, Maggie, Sherlock, Scooby CGN, Panda, Belle, and my cousins Chloe & Sheeba have all Tagged me with Rosettes or Paw-mails!

Let's have some fun! Here are the rules of the game!

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules and their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to bark them a pawmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

Here are my 7 fun facts:

1. I'm a Daddy's Boy, I follow my Dad WHEREVER he goes!!!

2. When I get sleepy, I nurse on my Stuffed Toys!

3. I hate it when the neighbor Cats come in MY yard!

4. I LOVE to roll on dead Slugs that I find outside!

5. I'm a Talker! If I don't get my way I Growl, Bark and Whine at my Dad!

6. I LOVE to play in the Water Hose, but I HATE to take a Bath or walk on Wet Grass!

7. My one ambition in life is playing FETCH!!! :o)

The 7 Pups I'm Tagging are:

Conner
Brandy
Petie
Bell
Lola
Reese
Tulip

Happy Easter!

This year I'm going to trap him and keep him for my own,

I'll feed him lots of carrots and lock him in my home.

He won't be coming to your house, so just sleep in that day!

I'll have the EASTER BUNNY... unless he gets away!!!

Benny - A Day In The Life.

8:00am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My Favorite Thing!!!

9:00am - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite Thing!!!

10:00am - Oh Boy! A Car Ride! My Favorite Thing!!!

11:00am - Oh Boy! A Game Of Fetch! My Favorite Thing!!!

12:00pm - Oh Boy! Lunch! My Favorite Thing!!!

1:00pm - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite Thing!!!

2:00pm - Oh Boy! Company! My Favorite Thing!!!

4:00pm - Oh Boy! A Game Of Fetch! My Favorite Thing!!!

5:00pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My Favorite Thing!!!

7:00pm - Oh Boy! A Walk! My Favorite Thing!!!

8:00pm - Oh Boy! A Game Of Fetch! My Favorite Thing!!!

10:00pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping In Dad's Bed! My Favorite Thing!!!

Words To Live By...

"On Judgement day if God should say, "Did you clean your house today?"

I will say, "I did not, I played with my dogs and I forgot."

My Dearest Dog:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not mean you have staked a claim to it! It does not suddenly become your food OR your dish… nor do I find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and it IS NOT a racetrack!
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I will fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Remember, dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible! I also know that when you stick your tail straight out and hang your tongue over the other end of the bed to maximize space you are only being sarcastic!

There is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, attempt to turn the knob or try to get your paw under the edge and pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years... canine attendance IS NOT mandatory!

And last, but not least, the proper order is to kiss me, and THEN go smell the other dogs butt. I cannot stress this enough!

You Know You're a Dog Person When...

You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.

Lint Wheels are on your shopping list every week.

You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house, but no babies.

The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink, to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.

You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.

You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

Your dog sleeps with you.

You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but he understands just the same.

Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (not immediately afterward, of course).

You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.

You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.

You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

You sign and send Birthday/Anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.

You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.

You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go to the movies with your sweetie.

You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.

You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for Poop Pick-Ups pops out.

You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it to wash your dog in the tub.

You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping "Pee, Sweetie!" over and over again, while 'Sweetie' tends to play and forget what he's out there for (what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).

You and the dog come down with Flu-Like symptoms on the same day. Your dog sees the Vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.

Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.

Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.

You match your Furniture/Carpet/Clothes to your dog.

You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's)

You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.

You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.

You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.

You are the only idiot out in the pouring rain because your dog needs his walk.

You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.

Your parents refer to your pet as their Grand-Dog.

Your dog acts as Best-Dog at your wedding.

Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).

You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night (after all, his other dish is way down on the first floor...).

Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.

You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken so your dog can get a taste, too.

You shovel a zig-zag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all his favorite spots.

You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.

You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.

You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.

You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents, siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human!