June 25th 2008 12:59 pm
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Looks like a diary...*glares at mom*
Look it has an entry that is waaaay old...so old I can't remember I ever wrote that *continues to shoot mom the evil eye*
Mom swooped me up yesty day and gave me a bath...mean I tell you jest mean and I wuz the first. She sez I don't keep myself very clean so she has to do.
Lissen mom...a little tid bit fur you... I am a ...dog....yes, believe or not I am not a human child. I know you think I and my furblins are but we are not....we like our smell...we like the ooey gooey stuff clinging to us...give us something to taste when we want to.
Please remember this...
Now today wuz more funner..we went to the dog park, where I chased everyone around acting all mean. I like to charge big dogs...mom sez one of these days....I am gonna get the full meaning of "they are bigger than you"...whatever...human talk again...hellloooo not a human here...dog... I am a dog...helloooo
OK I am gonna go snore in the sun a bit
April 30th 2008 4:58 pm
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I get so many of these mom never does them BUT this time I said MOM you will do this one from Duchess....so there! HMPH!
Name 4 jobs you have:
Billboard for moms business.
Name 4 Places you have stayed at:
Name 4 Places I would rather be:
As long as I am velcroed to moms leg...no where
Now tag 4 dogsters with this tag!
Da Wheez Meister "Moms main squeeze man"
August 30th 2007 8:08 pm
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Today wuz a gud day....why you say...welll let me tells you..everypuggy knows that I, Wheezer P Meister luvs, just luvs carrots.
Why every day sumpuggy mentions carrots and my "Jewel" (I went waaay over ta the othur side of the country and gots her..he he), had carrots all over her page, they talk carrots this and carrots that...I even gots a carrot vest from a gud friend of mine and carrots cake in a tin can once (No Pugsident Irving wuz not tryin to poison me), but the can stuff wuz poisonious, so never did get that stuff...hmm *where wuz I, taps lip*...
OH! yeah any hoo...so mom who reads me all this stuff started to get a cravin fer carrot cake...yes, my friends....(he he) wut better way to get carrot cake than to have a mom that is cravin it...so she takes "MY" carrots and shreds them up and makes a bootiful double tiered carrot cake wif cream cheesey frosting. She sez "I made it so you, Gus and Raven can have sum too"....
OOOh the heaven...the heaven....the smeelll, the flavor upon my lips....ahhhh heaven I tells you...
I wants to roll in it, stomp around get it tween my toes, squish my face all the way in the middle...*starts to slobber and shiver*
Huh..oh oh yeah yeah ok....oooohhhh jest fantasizin....
Now about the dog door...see mom gots this new house that has a sliding glass door and she hates gettin up to let us out...I hates gettin up period...*grunt* so she gets this dog door that fits in the sliding door. Then she spends about two hours lookin dumb tryin to get us to go through the door...
Well truth be told, Raven wuz the first one through (with the hep of mom, though). Then it began to dawn on my mind, (scary I know)that if I did not go through the door then mom wud always be on the othur side.....now I am a MANpug no doubt about it...jest ask the ladys ;) BUT I am man pug enuff to admit that I am a mommas boy thru an thru...down to the tip of my little rudder tail...I CAN NOT have her on the othur side wif out me...no no that jest will not do...Once this had sunk in reel deep I learnt lightin fast that I must gets thru the door. NOW Haw haw..I am the only one that will go through it (mom has to be on the other side though) .
Gus is slowly learnin whut I already know...to be a "reel" mommas boy you have to gets to the othur side where the mom is.. He will learn.
Raven well she jest too little right now...she tries but ain't strong enuff...I hopes it is her size and not cause she is a girly..can't have no girly girlys aroun here...
Well that about summmmmssss uuuuup p p aaa upppp*starts to smeel the carrot cake* wha...????
August 10th 2007 6:29 pm
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Weelll I wuz lookin and never saw no horseys. I even sat on top of the truck so I could gets a good look.
Mom sez that most the horseys here are 21st century. They have four wheels and motors. In fact she left us today!! Yah, to ride on one of them waaayyy up in the hills where no puggy or human is.
Now that is not fair. I wants to see the wide open country...whats up wif that?
I have been hangin out wif my cousins. One is reeeel fat. I mean sausage king. He is a Golden Retriever and mom says he is the fattest dog she ever saw..wide as a pickup truck...her words.
The other Golden is gettin chubby too and then there is the one wif two different colored eyes. He ain't so nice. He bites and is aloof...what ever!!! Every doggy likes me...*duh* He jest weird. He is a Siberian Husky. I say his brain is fried cause he is not livin up where he is supposed to be.
OK well supposedly we is goin fer a ride tomorrow...
August 8th 2007 9:47 pm
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Why hello stranger....
Wud be nice if my secretary wud right fer me once in awhile here...
Anyhooo....not here to glare and stare and the mom, but I am here to tell you I am goin on a cowboy vacation!!!
Yeppers gots my cowboy hat on and ridin in my truck to Wyomin...that is where my unkle lives and I hear he has three big dogs...seems we needs to let it be known there is a small dawg in town......Pug Cassidy and the Sunpug kid..(Raven), shes my side kick.....
Our first stop was near the mighty Columbia River, where we did sum yardage up and down the sandy beach...I did get my paws a tad wet....I tend to like the dryer version...thank you....
Then we stopped about five times and mom took us fer walks...sez me n my pawdner is a tad on the chubby side so we needs to walk it off....yeah right.....where is that dang ol Horse!!! Hellooooo I thought there were horseys in cowboy country...
"what?" *listens to Raven in the background* "Oh, ummm well whatever!"
Sunpug kid jest said we aint in cowboy country yet, so the truck will hafta do fer now and our legs....
We jaunted down a nice piece of ten mile stretch here in Boise Idiho..... "what?", HMPH Whatever!!!!! so it was unnder a mile....whatever when you gots short legs it is ten miles...so there....
*turns to Sunpug kid and says," I am gonna look fer a new sidekick if you don stop inturuptin" "Want yer squirt gun taken away???" Yeah thats whut I though" *Smug look on his face*
OK where wuz I?? Oh yeah, so this here hostel and saloon lets us doggies stay and sleep on a bed, plus we gets treats an water...mom sez this hotel is pawsome...I say we deserves it after she drags us up n down that stretch of .....mile path....*turns and smiles at Raven, turns back*
OK well I needs to get sum shut eye....save my strength fer sum cow rasslin tomorrow.....
~W (Pug Cassidy)
May 24th 2007 4:36 pm
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Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged need to post the rules of the game and 7 pawsome facts about themselves in their diary. Then once you are tagged, you choose 7 dogs to tag, listing their names in your diary. Don’t forget to bark your friends pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary for the rules -- or better yet, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been tagged!
7 things about me, Wheezer
I love to sit on moms lap even though I hardly fit
I live for walks wif my mom. brother and sis
I love food, especially baby carrots…I live fer carrots!!!
I love to sleep in and am a lazy bum till I get my morning carrots.
I like to bite the back of Gus’s legs to mommies irritation and Gus’s
I am obsessed with strangers, running right up to them and barking with total disregard of cars, mean dogs or a very irritated mom.
Other than mommy or grammie, I am very aloof with other small dogs and people.
Irving Maddison Edgrrrrrr
May 20th 2007 7:41 pm
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OK what is it about girlies???Huh? especially little girlies...
Today was once again the Pug Crawl in Portland Oregon...mom always takes me cause she think I will become more socialable...when is she going to figure out that the only hoomans I want to socialize wif are her and gammie?? I don like kissys unless I gives them..I don like to be picked up less I let mom know I wants picked up...she needs to member this next time.
OH Gus had fun cause of all his musckles and hoomans ooh and ahhhing, course he jest sucks that up..big time..
THEN..there is Raven ..man she jest was a pain!!!
We could n't eat, drink water...move even wifout the cameras in our faceys...hoomans fawinin around her..like she was sum famous puggy or sumpin...
Course when mom took her to the contest we gots a little worried and we had to smell her and give her kisseys...you know big brofer stuff..to make her feel better that we was concerned...(we weren't but you know we had to purtend) *clears throat and looks around*
Our friends Penelope and Milton waz thar...they is cool..Milton is a lot bigger than mommie thought..BOL...
Anywho now we have this famous sissy, who thinks she is a diva now cause she was a finalist...whatever..sphhhttttt....:P
Gots my bling bling goin on...oh and Gus too!!
March 1st 2007 8:58 pm
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Yoga 101 fer doggies who like to hep our moms get in shape.
First as yer mom descends into what the hoomans call dogward facing doggy you positshun yerself between the arms and legs of yer mom so when her head is facing down, she can eye you upside down as you proceed to bark furiously and do the bobble head (Puggies you know what I am talkin about) this heps her consentrate wif strength......
Then you encourage yer cousin to sneak up while yer mom is in the straight legged, head down posishun and stick her nose in between yer moms legs and and gives her little licks on the mouth and eyes while yer moms face is at our level...I encourage this as it helps them concentrate on their deep breathing ...
Then as yer mom stands in the proud warrior posishun, you runs up and licks and bites her toes....this heps wif her balance.....
Then you and yer cousin regroup and runs around yer mom in circles growlin and doin the bobble head jumping over her outstretched leg or try to jump (If you have short legs you can run unner neath this leg) as she is in the triangle posishun...this helps wif her balance and strength while concentrating on her deep breathing...
Last but not least...the floor exeycises....While yer mom is on the floor in the cobra posishun wif her head and chest up, arms outstretched and palms facing up , you walks around to her face and gives her poopy breath kissys...this encourages her to lift up even higher and heps wif the strengthening of her back and stomach muscles...
then you walks over to yer toy...this can be any toy wet, slobbery, stinky...just make sure its pretty yucky, pick it up and go deposit in one of her upward facing palms, then go get another yucky toy and do the same thing wif the other hand....this heps strengthen yer moms gag reflexes.
Do this while yer cousin stands over yer moms feets and proceeds to lick them clean.....by then yer mom has had all the help she wants and proceeds to crumble into a nonstrengthing, nonbalancing, nondeep breathing mess....
Yer job is done...now...go curl up in a comfy position and goes to sleep....
March 1st 2007 8:08 pm
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OK *Wheezer writing furiously so his secretary can type this up*
My month was pawsome....First I gots to play in the sunnyshine a lot more than some of my friends. Grammy lives right in front of a park that mom takes us to...we goes walkin and walkin then we come up to a great big green expanse...ahhhh so fun... I run and run but it is hard to keep up wif my brother and cousin, but thats ok cause I has fun anyway.
Now along came a week before Valentines and I found myself along...:( I did not have a sweetheart...but one day I was invited to join this group and lo and behold my name was put on this lonely hearts club list and the next day the cutest, sassiest lil black furry thing jest walked right up and stole my heart...yup...she did...ahhh her name is Maddison and she is purdy....She sended me a pawsome Valentines gift bag full of cewl prezzies. I gots a cloth bone, which has been partly eaten now, a red bandana wif bonies, ( I must say I look rather handsome in it, slick down hair with toe), then I gots a WUBBBY!!! Yah I have been wanten one fer a vury vury long time and finally I gots one, but mean ol mom won't let me haves it. She says I have to wait till we goes away wif her cause my cousin jest rips everything to shreds....and she does rip everything too...I lost my beloved green rubber froggy...:( I has had that furever and she jest chewed it gone....so...I must wait fer my wubby....
Then we all gots to pile into grammies lil car and go fer drives wif her....mom sez it looks riduculiouz cause here is her and grammy and then three little doggys and two big doggies all crammed in this lil car. Then when her and grammy goes into a store my cousin and brother start barkin and everyhooman...I jest sits in the drivers seat till she come back...I has to protect the seat fer her.
Now it is St Patricks month and we are off to go to work wif mom...once in a while we gets to go to work wif mom...OOOOhhhh I luvs it soooo much...I don like her leavin me and Gus behind...then we gets to go see our bestest friends ever...Miss Bailey and Hercky...Mom said if we is good we gets to meet up wif some new doggies here on Dogster!!!! I can'ts wait!!!
So here in ends my month of Valentines...wif my cutey by my side and my wubby ...ahhhhh
December 8th 2006 10:03 am
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Mom was on her ways to work and I was lookin at her wif my big woeful eyeballs ...an lets be honest my fellow Pugs we gots the eyes for it...an I think she felt guilty about leaving us home all the time when she went off to work, so I jest looks at her wif the eyeballs and sure nuf, she sez, well hurry up get in the truck. Ha!! I knew it would work one day!!
We had to drive fer a loooonnngg time so I slept most the way and tried to do it on her lap as she drove. She sez this is dangerous and one of these days I is gonna gets squished..Hmpf..doesn't she realize that I am there to keep her legs warm...that is my sworn duty. I tries to sleep on her as much as possible so she won't get cold..(see my piccy)
We stopped one time and there was this really cold stuff on the ground and I was slippin and slidin...it was by this long cliff so mom sez or kinda yelled "Wheez get away from there, you are gonna fall" I am not...
We went to this huge old forest place wif lots of trees and a doggy and sum furry animals mom called cats...yeah well whatever, I tried to play wif those cats an they didn like me or they jest did not want to play. I tried.. I mean I am so lovable can't any cat or doggy see this...but mom would say in a vury stern voice "gets away from them...grrrr" (One time I snuck in an ates their food,ha,ha...well two times) Mom was not happy wif me at this time.
I was on vacation!! When you is on vacation you has to eats lots and one day I did...I ate so much mom thought I was gonna popped so from then on out she wouldn't give me jest one cookie and not two and wouldn't put the other animals food down when I was around.
Actually I was on a workin vacation. See I would play and run and run or try to run to catch up wif Gus and Ju Ju but my short stature impaired me at times, then I would go find mom and she would be workin away and I hads to hep. One time I snuck in to a room she was cleanin and she hads this huge noisy thing make a vroom vroom thing, well my fellow doggies it looks like it was attackin mom so I had to try and gets it. Mom was following right behinds this thing which was CHASIN me! She sorta thought this was funny that I was just tryin to protect her so I would turn around and trys to get it. Whew that was hard work but it gots scared of me and stopped makin noise. Then I tried heppin her mop the floor, she said Wheez the floor can do wif out yer paws shining the floor now go play. "see if I ever try and hep her again" Hmfp! I would occasionally make sure she was ok and everything.
One time she had to hep these people called guests and this lady started laughin at me n Gus n Ju Ju. We was just doin our duty and tryin to protect her. I was tryin really hard to look into the window and look this way and that. They was all laughin so I guess mom was OK...jest makin sure.
Mom sez we did a real good job of protectin, cause we hardly left her side...we was stuck to her like "galuewww". I really hates when she goes in that place she calls a bathroom..we all do...we tried to follow her in and she jest yells "git outa here, there is no secret door I am going through", well how do we know...there could be...*looks around and nods to Gus* Huh, Gus ..see he agrees to.
I tells yah we had lots of fun...I hopes that we can go wif her again and again...I specially like the big dog Ju Ju...*gleam in eye* yeppers she real purdy...he,he.. Mom sez I was liken her just a little too much...whatever she jest smelled reallll good and I hopes I can gets back and see sum time.
So here ends my tail of "This is the way I goes to work wif mom"