August 25th 2006 3:39 pm
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Going through life, we don't often have the insight to know when we are doing something for the last time. Other times it is more obvious. Take last Thursday for example, the bosses loaded me and Lyle up in the truck and went to Bruster's for our free doggie sundaes. (Mmm, ice cream.) At the time I was feeling pretty good after the side effects from my last chemo injection had passed and the tumors had shrunk quite a bit. Naturally thoughts of ice cream began to dance through our heads so off we went. Well, as a little background, Lyle sometimes gets so worked up while traveling that his stomach gets a little out of sorts. So we drive the 25 minutes to Bruster's and we see this big white German Shepard Dog and we think, wow, that looks like our friend Storm. Turns out Storm's bosses had the same idea as we did and it was Storm. Another bit of background, Storm is one of Lyle's favorite buddies and just seeing her got him even more worked up. I'm sure you can see where this is heading. Anyway, it was obvious that Thursday night was Lyle's last time going to Bruster's.
Other times it might not be so obvious. Like the one and only time I had a smoked beef knuckle. I was a puppy. The knuckle was good. The boss ma'am (actually I still had authority issues back then) got too close and I growled (a lot). Sadly that was my last time with one of those babies.
These last few days I'm starting to realize more and more that as I go through my day, I'm doing things probably for the last time. Last night I was feeling good and the boss man asked me to model for him. We both had a pretty good idea that it would be my last time in front of the camera. Since that time, the tumors around my neck and mouth have over doubled and I am having a difficult time swallowing. As I write this I have a pretty good idea that this might well be my last diary entry.
I consider myself a very lucky dog. I know some of you might be thinking "Sure Little Bit, you do have a lot of luck and all of it bad!" but I know that is not true. I have so many friends and I've been truly blessed with prayers and support from all around the world. I also know that some of you reading this might think that I've given up hope for a miracle. Truth is, I feel like I received my miracle a while back. Obviously I wish there was something left to try against this cancer. But I know that I've lived a very good life with a loving pack. And I have so many good friends. For me, the miracle is that I have been able to touch so many with my story.
Through it all, I have faced my challenges with grace and dignity (much more so than the rest of my pack). Since my diagnosis, I've gone from having a normal small dog life to making friends and telling my story to people and dogs all around the world (I was even in Reader's Digest). I've been able to teach others that there are options when faced with lymphoma. And that those options can provide a very good quality of life. When I started writing, I thought that perhaps my friends and family outside of Kentucky would want to check in to see how I was doing. Never in my wildest imagination did I think so many would follow my story. That my friends, is absolutely miraculous.
So I want to thank you for all of your love and support. And I want to thank you for all of your prayers and friendship. And for your advice and encouragement. And for the laughter and tears.
I can't say exactly how much time I have left but I think it is safe to say that my remaining time will only be measured in days. I've instructed the boss man to write one last diary entry for me after I have crossed to the Rainbow Bridge. So like I said, I think this might be my last time writing.
Thank you all so much.
With much love,
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