February 16th 2005 4:46 pm
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This month's missive is dedicated to that je ne sais quack -- that certain something that lets you get away with anything, and never really suffer any consequences...
That's right, it's all about popularity, or perception, really.
Now I'll let you in on a little secret. I am one hell of a hell-raisin' kinda dog. We had to move from the last town we lived in, cuz I got locked up too much, and my mom was just too embarrassed to stay.
Once, I got picked up for causing a car accident...I picked the busiest intersection in town, and just leaped around, trying to greet all the drivers! Funny, they all hit each other, and the nice dog catcher came to pick me up.
Another time, I got picked up for digging up the better part of the foundation under the courthouse buildings. Can you blame a dog for wanting to see what the judicial system is based on? (I'd tell you, but it's not pretty -- let's just say there's a lotta dirt under there...)
More than once, I visited various fine establishments in town -- the pizza joint, the bookbinder's, the drive-in McD's (very fine pickins) -- and everytime, I'd have to go back to the doggie slammer. Not that I minded -- it was more like a motel with food and lotsa guys to hang out with. Honestly, I kinda like it in the slammer.
But I digress -- What you need to know is how did I get away with all that (and oh so much more) without so much as a spanking or a raised voice?
It's all in the attitude -- I'm a blond blond dog, and no one thinks I'm capable of a single evil deed. I mean, look at my face, does this look like a dog that will eat your poop and then roll in it? No way -- people trust this face. I oughta run for president...just save me your poop for later.
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