Messages From This Side of the Bridge
December 25th 2013 10:30 pm
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Merry Christmas, my friend. It's the first one without you, which means it's been a difficult one. I've spent so much time selfishly bogged down in my own feelings of loss, regret, and guilt. Why didn't I try harder - a common self indulgent delusion that I wear daily like a pair of shoes. I stay in my fortress of hidden despair, thinking only of my own sadness, and losing sight of your illness and your world. I've finally awakened to your needs, little memories of the subtle signals telling me you were ready to go. Things I missed because I wanted to save you. Again, what I wanted. I'm sorry I didn't see past my own fears to hear what you needed most from me, just being present with you. You are still teaching me from the Other Side. I still love and miss you, and I will try to remain open and present.