March 23rd 2013 10:20 pm
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They say that there are stages of grief, one of them being guilt. Mom has started kicking this emotion around. Did I do it too early, she thinks to herself. She keeps repeating the last moments I was alive over and over in her head. She is torturing herself. She does not sleep well anymore, and she gets frequent headaches. She cried alot today, which is unlike her. She tries to keep it hidden. And now, again, she can't sleep. She knows deep in her heart I was ready to go, but that guilt is a terrible thing. It creeps in and takes hold of everything before she can reason her way out of it. She even bought Bridgit new toys yesterday and felt a twinge of guilt after giving them to her. She went to her room to be alone. Everyday seems to get harder and harder. She misses how I put my long nose up to hers when I wanted her attention. I hope this stage passes soon because I want her to feel better.
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my heart hurts so much for you. i know ALL to well this feeling of guilt you have. i have suffered with it since i had
to make that painful decision with my droopy. you know in your heart you did what needed to be done, but it comes back to you & eats you up inside, should i have waited, could i have tryed something more to save her...should i have gotten a second opinion..??? so i know about this guilt feeling..
its horrible... i still have it, although i mostly keep it to myself..again, you & i both know we did what was best, but the deep pain we feel from losing the very best friend we ever had is just too much to handle & that guilt creeps in, causing us more grief that is almost impossible to deal with.
i really pray that you find peace within yourself & know you did what was best for your sweet zane.. zane would not want you to suffer like this.. there are many stages to grief, guilt is a very strong one & for me, it has been almost impossible to get through. i pray you will find your way through & make peace within yourself. just know you are never alone, i care very much & so many here care & we are here for you. you are in my prayers. much love, lori
It breaks my heart to see you suffering so much. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things better. Sending prayers & hugs for comfort during this difficult time.
Sorry for your loss. I have been gone over a year and a half and my momma still has guilt trips, but she also knows it was time and there was nothing else could be done for me. It is a process and it will get easier, but you never forget.
Aww..I just read this and didn't know how hard and deep your grief is. This stage, too, will pass. I can't tell you how to feel but I will say you have nothing to feel guilty for. What you did for Zane was love~and you will see her again one day. My babies have come to me in my dreams after a time and I have felt Buddy and also saw him a couple of times!..its a veil that seperates us..and Zane is very much with you and always will be
Hugs and cares and tender thoughts sent to you
Have you thought of writing a letter or two to Zane?..Rainbow Bridge Day is coming up~April 1!!..this is when we can send letters, balloons, whatever is meaningful to us and our furbabies..I do mine whenever I want but apparently there is a special day set aside!..I wrote many letters to Buddy and it really did help me.
MeowmyMary Momcat of Friday and the whole clan