Ohhh! So gross.

I am still woefully Sophathetic with the hole on my head. Mom has been religiously giving me my antibiotic and anti-inflammatory/pain killer. She has been putting drops in my eyes.

Today I had a bit of dried flesh hanging off the wound. Mom just had to get it off, for she was certain that she would vomit if she had to continue looking at it. It was just the barest bit of flesh, hanging by a bit of hair.

Mom finally got Oldest Lad to hold me still, and out came the dreaded scissors. I feared for my eye, certain that Mom would miss, and gouge out my eye ball.

Mom managed to maintain a steady hand, and with a minor snip, the dried bit of flesh was gone. I thought she should store it for forensic analysis, to determine whether it was Pennie or Rental Dog Camille who was the Perp of the hole on my head. Mom wanted to maintain a cover-up for the guilty dog, and threw the evidence in the trash.

Rental Dog Camille Shopping

I suppose it appears that all I do is complain about Rental Dog Camille; totally forgetting that I, too, was once a Rental Dog. Actually, I was Exiled to the Shelter, as Queen Sophine. I was lucky that I did not face the same fate as Tsar Nicholas II of Russia and his family, who upon their exile, were shot. Instead, unaware of what Royal Crime I had committed, I was exiled to a no-kill shelter.

But I have digressed.

Today I found myself with great sympathy for Rental Dog Camille.

Rental Dog Camille does not know how to SHOP. Mom usually hides the credit cards form Me and Pennie.

Unfortunately, Mom had a credit card sitting out, for she had been trying to make hotel reservations. Rental Dog Camille decided to try HER paw at on-line shopping. I am certain she was after something for herself as she shows no remorse for constantly stealing MY BONE or for chewing up the following items that belong to The Wee Lass: Blueberry Shortcake Doll (smells like blueberries,) Polly Pocket Doll, Dollhouse Mom Doll and Thomas train track.

Instead of surfing the net and entering the credit card numbers when requested; Rental Dog Camille chewed Mom's card. Poor Rental Dog knows nothing about how to SHOP!

Fortunately I shall still be able to shop as I can make out the numbers on the card (and that all important code number,) but Mom has had to order a new card. Rental Dog Camille, in her Puppy Enthusiasm to make her first on-line purchase, chewed right through the magnetic strip, disabling the card for any scanning purposes.

I shall now have to decide: Do I feel enough sympathy towards Rental Dog Camille to teach her to SHOP?

Sophie Scaring Mom

I scared Mom today. The morning started out with me going to the Vet. Mom discovered a lump along my right side that was non-painful, and firm. Due to my recent incidents with Sibling Rivalry, Mom thought perhaps it was due to trauma, but she wanted to have me looked at. The regular Vet was on vacation, but apparently the Substitute Vet has the same Fixation on Probing that the Regular Vet does. This leaves me worried: Mom's Brother Number Four, has Nieces Number Four, Five, and Six. Niece Five is pursuing a degree in Large Animal Medicine. She has already docked wee little piggy ears and lamby ears and neutered them as well! What goes wrong in the upbringing of these people? Niece Number Four and Niece Number Six, born into that same home, are not fixated on Probing Animals. (If the family visits over the holidays, I plan to be kenneled, to be safe from Niece Number Five, although I am sure I would enjoy Number Four and Six.)

But I digress. I knew I was in for a probing and I fixed my bottom firmly to the floor. It was no used, for I was just picked up and put on a table and probed!

The Substitute Vet said that for the moment she thought my lump was due to my recent trauma; most likely from injections. She told Mom to keep an eye on the lump. Mom was quite relieved!

The really scary event happened later: Mom came home from picking up Little Lad, and Middle Lad. Mom is super fanatical about making sure no dogs or children are in a closed car in the summer. There was a very sad case near here where a woman left her daughter in a car, by accident. One of our neighbors was on the scene and attempted CPR, and was very traumatized. The whole incident was upsetting to the whole community. This drilled into Mom even more about dogs and kids and hot cars. When loading everyone up, Mom usually leaves one door open until she is actually ready to start the engine.

Mom went out to the van to get her glasses and who did she find in the van? Me, Sophie. Mom was most distressed. She has no idea how I sneaked into the car. Thank goodness Mom needed to go get her glasses, and I was not even hot, as the car was in the garage, and it had been only a few minutes since Mom had been home. Still, Mom was all upset, because she always checks the van, and so someone must have opened the van up without Mom knowing, and I got into it.

I think Mom is going to need some relaxation tonight.

K9 KP

This afternoon Pennie and I were summoned to the kitchen for some K9 KP. One casserole dish and one pot needed cleaning. Pennie was given the casserole dish. I was given the pot.

What about Rental Dog Camille? Just because she is a Foster Dog, does she get out of Kitchen Patrol? Does she get to live a life a luxury while Pennie and I do all the hard work? I was under the impression that Rental dogs were to live the same conditions as the Family Dogs, in preparation for their assignment to a furever home. While I was Rental Dog Sophie I was expected to work!

Anyhoodles, then I discovered this: While Pennie and I were boarded at Camp Kennel last week, Rental Dog Camille got all the leftovers to herself! That was hardly fair! The least Oldest Lad could have done was to drop off leftovers, pots, and dishes off at Camp Kennel, for Pennie and I to enjoy!

Mom did not know if Oldest Lad was going to be home or not, so she made Camp Kennel reservations. Pennie freaks out when the family is gone, even if someone is home, and Mom did not want Oldest Lad coming home from work to discover that Pennie had redecorated the house. I was just an innocent bystander, as I do not have the Separation Anxiety that besets Pennie when Pennie sees suitcases. I could have been home sharing leftovers with Rental Dog Camille.

"Sigh," apparently I am contradicting myself. Perhaps tomorrow I'll shove Rental Dog Camille in her crate myself when K9 KP duty is called.

Rental Dog Naughties

Last night Mom went to bed with Pennie and I in our usual Dad-is-gone positions. That means Pennie sleeps in Dad's spot, and I sleep in my usual spot, resting my head upon Mom's head. That is when Mom felt the: Wet.

Mom knew that Rental Dog Camille was loose, running amok while Mom gave Wee Lass a bath. Rental Dog Camille is "supposed" to be contained to the family room/downstairs area, but of course no one but Mom manages to be conscientious about keeping the gate shut.

Rental Dog used her unsupervised time to explore the whole house AND to pee on Mom's bed.

Mom retreated to sleep downstairs on the couch. Today Mom is washing sheets. Mom is quite certain that it was Rental Dog Camille as Pennie and I have denied any knowledge of the incident, and have provided comprehensive alibis of all of our body effluence for Monday.

Abbreviated Time

Today was a blissfully cool respite from the heat. In honor of this, Mom and Little Lad were enjoying some time out on the back porch, making bead projects. (Those little beads that get fitted on a tray, and then ironed together.) Since it was cool(er) the sliding doors were left open so that Pennie, Rental Dog Camille, and I could come and go between the house and the porch. The GATE between the family room and the rest of the house was CLOSED, limiting Rental Dog Camill's access, or reign of terror.

Oldest Lad returned home from work early. He got to leave early because someone defecated in the pool. Since he was the poor brave soul who ventured into the pool to fish out the offending substance, he was allowed to go home to take a shower. Small reward, I suppose.

Oldest Lad discovered that Rental Dog Camille had made a brave attempt to don Mom's wrist watch. Poor Rental Dog Camille. No doubt she tried valiantly to strap the wrist band around her leg and latch it. Unfortunately, Rental Dog Camille does not have opposable thumbs, nor does she have delicate lips -- I am certain Mulligan would have been able to attach a watch wrist band.

Instead, Rental Dog Camille, in her frustration must have just nibbled off more and more bits of the wristband.

This evening Oldest Lad shall be taken the watch and what remains of it's wristband out to locate a new wristband.

Kennel Attention

This weekend Pennie and I were forced to languish at the kennel whilst the family attended a wedding for Cousin Three. As Pennie already wrote in her entry, our presence was sorely missed, as we would undoubtedly have removed all of the little white bags of tasty treats that were placed at each plate at the reception. It was one (or more) of those bags that Middle Lad delved into, and in his sweet-tooth-ed greed failed to ascertain that not only was the bag non-labelled, but that the hard little nuggets mixed with the pretzels, etc, were peanuts.

Anyhoodles, Middle Lad returned home hopefully a wiser Lad, drugged full of anti-histamine, and itching from head to toe from the full body hives that had subsequently turned to eczema.

Meanwhile, I was garnering a full dose of Queen Sophine Attention at the Kennel. Pennie was quite content to simply "go outside" to do her business. Not me. I shall not reveal the secret to my success, but being Queen Sophine does have advantages as I managed to act pathetic enough that I had to be walked about several times a day, by the Female Kennel Owner, as I refused to acknowledge the males kennel attendees, in order to relieve my bodily effluence.

Now that I am home I no longer receive the royal treatment that is due me, but I am glad to be home. I am in full agreement with Pennie, that she and I between us would have removed and consumed all of the tasty treats, little white bags and all, that led to Middle Lad's unfortunate reaction.

Rental Dog too adjusted to suburban life

Rental Dog Camille has become far too adjusted to life in Suburbia. How do we explain on Petfinder that Rental Dog Camille has spent the last few months learning the bad habits of a Summer in Suburbia where the incumbent Mom has not the time nor energy to prevent counter cruising, begging for food, and couch-napping? Rental Dog Camille shall go to her new home fully expecting to languish upon the furniture and sleep in bed until noon. In her defense, she IS crate trained, and is a hard worker -- she is often the first to climb up on the kitchen table to clean plates.

This afternoon Camille benefited from Wee Lass not wanting to eat her lunch, but desiring to go straight to snack. Unfortunately, Mom has a general idea of the length of time needed for one preschooler to eat a brown pea butter and jelly sandwich. The proper length of time was not consumed, and the evidence of brown pea butter was evident all over Rental Dog Camille's whiskers. When interrogated with firm evidence presented, Wee Lass had no recourse but to admit that she fed her brown pea butter and jelly sandwich to Rental Dog Camille's eagerly waiting lips.

Either Rental Dog Camille will go to a family who will find her "pleasantly broken in" or Rental Dog Camille will have to give up a few habits she has learned from her Summer in Suburbia.

Snubbed Volunteers

Just when a Dog thinks they know a human, that human turns on them.

It never occurred to me that I, Queen Sophine, and Pennie, too, would be so blatantly snubbed by our own Mother.

Mom was in charge of arranging the Ice Cream Social for the Public School Marching Band. Mom purchased ice cream, toppings, table covers, bowls, spoons, and all the implements necessary to carry out an Ice Cream Social. Mom arranged with the Public High School Custodians to have the needed number of tables and trash cans placed in the area proclaimed by the Band Director as the Ice Cream Socialization Spot.

There was some concern about the Ice Cream Socialization Spot, as apparently, an Ice Cream Social produces a fair amount of Mess. The Public High School, a busy venue, was to be used the next morning for a Community Event, and the Custodians were going to have to Power Wash the area Post-Social.

Mom went through Proper Channels, aka the Public High School Band Booster President, in order to recruit a multitude of Volunteers to scoop ice cream and dispense toppings.

Pennie and I eagerly volunteered our services: Pennie as both crowd control AND clean-up and me as just clean-up.

We were completely SNUBBED. Mom often comments that the Public School should be inclusive and recruit many volunteers, so it does not become cliquey. Yet Mom had two very hard-working volunteers, anxious to be included, and we were banned. Snubbed.

I still wonder how many plops of perfectly good melted ice cream were power washed out into the sewer that could have been cleaned up by my eager tongue. Certainly it would have been a far better use of resources -- for dog's sake our Public School District is considering a levy in the near future -- for Pennie and I to be used to clean up the area, thus saving both water, and custodial time.

Snuggling and Gnawing

I have not earned the nickname "Queen Sophine" for lack of causation.

Once I settle into a "spot" I do not like to be moved. It does not matter how uncomfortable or how inconvenienced the human may be, or perhaps if one of their limbs is hyper-extended, I am fixed to that spot for the duration of my nap or snuggle. If I am moved, I simply roam about the room and return to that spot.

I have three favorite things: snuggling, gnawing, and sun-spots. What better than to combine two at a time?

One of my favs is to jump into my victim's, er human's lap, with a gnaw bone, and settle down for a nice snuggle, and a gnaw, while the human watches TV. It is particularly nice to lay upon Oldest Lad or Mom while they are stretched out upon the couch. I can lay upon the human belly, and then wedge my gnaw bone into the natural cleft between the torso and the upper arm. It also works to wedge the gnaw bone between the human chin and upper shoulder. Then I proceed to snuggle and gnaw. I have been told in no uncertain terms that the noise of my gnawing that radiates up to the human ear is deafening. I don't care.

This morning I discovered another perfect snuggle and gnaw position. Mom was laying on the couch, administering her Morning Middle Lad Before School Nagging Routine: take your ADD and allergy meds, brush your teeth, put on deodorant, are you SURE you have your homework (Middle Lad still forgot his planner on his desk.)

I snuggled between Mom's thighs, with my upper body laying on Mom's lower body. Then I found the perfect place to wedge my gnaw: in Mom's belly fat. I don't know why Mom was so offended; it's not like there was any noise radiating to her ear, it was all dissipating into her belly fat. In fact, this could be a new way to eliminate belly fat!

Mom WAS quite offended, and despite me being forced down, circling the room and coming back to resume the same snuggle and gnaw spot, I found myself completely banished from this perfect spot. I shall try again tomorrow; perhaps Mom was just upset that Middle Lad did not get up the first time she awakened him today.