February 26th 2013 11:34 am
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Mom has been at it again with some CD that she is listening to by some famous dude named Jon Kabat-Zinn. This Kabat-Zinn guy has several books and CDs devoted entirely to this: The Breath.

The Breath? Come on. Us dogs have known about The Breath ever since we have been dogs. The Breath is what we do. It is why we are grounded and capable of living in the Present Moment. We don't need some earbuds and an MP3 player to focus on The Breath. We focus on The Breath all day long.

Mom has currently been listening to this CD that encourages her to focus on The Breath and to do a "Body Scan." Pawsonally, if Mom would only allow me to put those earbuds into my ears, I'd like to know what Mom is REALLY listening to. I bet Mom is secretly listening to instructions on how middle-aged women can take their mini-vans, hack into all their husband's finances, and escape to where no bloodhound can ever find them.

"Body Scan." I do a "Body Scan" continually all day. I am very mindful of myself. I am fully capable of living in the Present Moment, and focusing on The Sophie.

When Mom does HER "Body Scan," she lays on the bed, and then I immediately jump on top of her, wedge myself up by her crotch, fall asleep and begin to snore, loudly. It helps Mom to focus on her bodily sensations, by feeling the weight of me on her crotch, and the noise of my snoring. Pennie then shoves herself into the lower part of Mom's legs, ensuring that Mom's legs are hyperextended throughout the "Body Scan." The "Body Scan" is intended to help with pain management, and keeping Mom's legs crushed and hyperextended make sure there is always pain for Mom to manage during her "Body Scan."

Next week Mom is supposed to add Yoga to the "Body Scan." Pennie loves when Mom does Yoga. Pennie likes to help Mom focus on Mom's Yoga positions by inserting her cold, wet dog nose into Mom's private parts, just as Mom has gotten balanced into her Yoga position.

As for the "Body Scan," other than Mom laying with Pennie and me compressing her, I don't see Mom moving. However, when I do MY Sophie Body Scan this is what I do: My favorite part to Body Scan is of course my private parts. I can Body Scan and focus The Breath on them all day. I lick and lick and Breathe on myself for hours. Then I move to my paws, licking and breathing, breathing and licking. I lick and breathe on all parts of my body. I don't need an MP3 player, earbuds, or some over-educated expert to guide me through my Sophie Body Scan Meditation. I do it all alone, continually, and I even share The Breath with the whole household.