March 20th 2012 2:01 pm
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My Mom can be completely illogical.
Every night I love to enjoy a Gnaw Bone. It is my Nightly Gnaw, and it is a ritual much like an after dinner cigar or pipe. Of course my Nightly Gnaw does not cause cancer or second-hand smoke; it cleans my teeth, leaving them shiny and bright.
In fact, humans should take up a Nightly Gnaw Bone -- it would be much healthier than smoking and instead their teeth shine and bright. Mom does not smoke, but I am certain that she would enjoy the relaxation and teeth cleaning of a Bleached Beef Bone Nightly Gnaw.
Couch and Mom Space has been much contested these last few days due the presence of Daisy, who is staying here while Her Man spends Spring Break in drunken debauchery in Florida. While Daisy misses Her Man, she is rapidly adjusting to the Suburban Life of dropping Middle Lad and Little Lad off at their destinations.
I managed to find a spot on the couch with Daisy at one end, Pennie at the other, and Mom curled up in the Middle. I plopped behind Mom and found the perfect Gnaw Prop: the back of Mom's Calf. The lower calf has a bulge of muscle, or most-likely fat in Mom's case, and I propped my Gnaw Bone against that leg calf and proceeded to Gnaw.
Mom stopped my Gnawing. Instead of appreciating my hard work at relaxation and teeth cleaning, Mom just claimed that having my Gnaw Bone drilled into the back of her calf muscle just gave her "the willies." The woman is just impossible.
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