February 1st 2012 11:48 am
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Pennie is being, well, as Queen Sophine, I shall simply not use the word that I should use. I shall simply say that she is being "disagreeable."

Last night Pennie and I both assembled in the room of Wee Lass for Story Time. The chosen books were "The Foot Book," and "Clifford, the Big Red Dog." "The Foot Book" was quite entertaining, and it was determined that both Pennie and I have "fuzzy fur feet."

I found "Clifford, the Big Red Dog," to be rather inaccurate. While certainly Clifford seemed like an amiable sort of dog, I do not think that the human heroine of the story, Emily Elizabeth, was letting on to the true complexities of living with Clifford. I, Queen Sophine, weigh only 33 pounds and have short hair. Pennie weighs 50 pounds and has short hair. Between the two of us, shed hair starts to re-accumulate approximately 4 nano-seconds after Mom vacuums. Can one imagine the amount of hair that Clifford sheds? I doubt that a standard vacuum cleaner bag could hold one vacuum-ing worth of Clifford hair.

Then of course is the question most weighing on my mind: who cleans up after Clifford? Mom gets biodegradable poop bags that come in a 250 count roll. It is fairly easy to pick up with these bags, and they are more than adequate for, um, a larger sized dog. What size bag would hold a Clifford Poop? I can only imagine a Lawn/Leaf Bag lined Garbage Can to hold ONE Poop. Calculate two poops per day. Does the Clifford family have over 14 Garbage Cans, lined with lawn/leaf sized bags, dedicated solely to Clifford Fecal Matter? And honestly, our local Trash Company allows unlimited trash pick-up, if one pays the higher fee, but 14 Garbage Cans (or more) of Dog Poop per week? I just don't see this being in compliance with the local garbage laws.

Anyhoodles, I brought my Deer Antler up to have a good gnaw while I listened to Story Time. Pennie stared at me, then she walked over and stole it from me! Later on, I joined Mom and Dad while they watched TV. Pennie was gnawing the Deer Antler on the floor. She eventually stopped gnawing and got up on the couch. I jumped off the couch, sniffed around, and found the Deer Antler to gnaw. Pennie got down from the couch and stole the Deer Antler from me again! This went around and around. Finally when it was time to go to bed, I ended up on Mom and Dad's bed with the Deer Antler. Pennie jumped up and was going to grab the Deer Antler. Mom and Dad had enough and said "No." Pennie was in a huff, and laid on the floor, but with her glaring at me I was too nervous to gnaw. Mom took the Deer Antler away from both of us, and we slept in a heap, leaving Mom no room or blankets, huddled at the top of the bed.