September 21st 2011 6:18 pm
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On or about Friday, September 23rd, a defunct Satellite is expected to enter the Earth's atmosphere and plummet to the ground. The last I heard there is a 1 in 3200 chance of a piece of the broken Satellite hitting a human. In the usual self-absorbed policy of Scientists and Newscasters, the estimate was only given for the chances of a piece of space junk hitting a HUMAN. What about a dog? Or even a Cat? Or any other animal? In fact, the Scientists are trying to assure Humans there is a good chance the falling Space Junk will simply land in one of the Oceans. What about the fish or oceanic mammals? Won't they be a bit perturbed by a huge hunk of space junk falling onto them while they swim up to the surface for a bit of noon-day warmer water?

Pawsonally, I do not plan to go outside at all anytime from Thursday until I hear that the Space Junk has fallen. I don't want to be out in the yard barking at a passerby and get conked in the head by a big piece of non-orbiting Satellite. I certainly don't want to be squatting to relieve myself and get knocked over! What a terrible way to go -- knocked to death by Space Trash while relieving my normal body effluence.