What's Shakin', Bacon?

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Bake-Master Bee's New Smash Single

May 25th 2011 10:57 am
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Bacon are extra sooper dooper HAPPY TODAY! Brofur Beanie can't play no polar bears with me on account of his owie, so Bacon deecide to ockupie my time making big rap video produckshun!!!

Here are world premiere of Bake-Master Bee's new rap tune, available soon in the iTunes store, and evfurrywhere cool pupses gets moosick & stuff:


My Name is Bake, Bake Booty Shake!
How much can one Booty Take?
I shake it in the morning,
and I shake it at night!
I shake it in the twilight
and at Dawn's First Light.

I'm a Booty-shaking bad boy
with a big butt,
My Mama calls me Bakey,
and "I'm like Mama, say what?"

I like to do the zoomies,
I go zoom, zoom, zoom,
Sometimes I urka gurka,
in the middle of the room!

I gotta little furriend,
His name is Grunty Pig,
He's like my Brofur Ernie George,
Cause his heinie's real BIG!

I like my birdies and my bobos,
and my toys that go squeak,
I like to wrestle with Beanie,
every day of the week!

Baby Bacon loves the Bullies,
the stickses I chew,
I love my Mama, my Papa,
Big Orange & Bean, too!

The world are Bakey's Oyster,
I gots the joie de veeves,
Bacon Beesun are my name,
I ain't got no pet peeves!

I'm the Smileyest Boy
that you ever did see...
My Name is Bacon Bee-sun,
COME ZOOOOOMIE WITH ME!!!!!!!!

 

Mama's Good Boy Bacon

April 26th 2011 10:17 am
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Dear Diary,

Member when I furst came to live with my Mama? Member how I goed BERSERK and BERZONKERS when Mama and Papa tried to evfun come in the same room as me with any kind of ear meddysins? I would buck and kick and growl and bite and thrash and just go completely NUTZO.

I had to go to speshull Sunday Skool and both my pawrents had to learn speshull NINJA COMMANDO HOLDS to try to get meddysin in Bacon's earses.

One time they didn't give me food for a whole day and tried speshull condishunning training with treats and meddysin on Bacon and THAT didn't work.

Well, I still has real bad allermageezes, and I wake up at 4 o'clock in the ay.em. to scratch my earses off, A LOT!

My Mama wakes up and she says, "Come here, Bacon." Then her snuggles the Bacon and I cuddles up next to her, and she rubs my earses for me real nice, and she says, "Good boy, Bacon, Mama loves Bacon." It are soooooooo nice. I only like to make nice quiet sleepy cuddles at 4 in the ay.em. Because we has squeakie/zoomie curfews after elevfun pee.ems.

So anyfur, I digressered. So to show Mama how much I appreesheeates the ear rubses, the past two days, when Mama grabs me by the collar and gets the toobes of the meddysin and puts the long nozzlie alien probes in my ear, Bacon stand like a good boy, and wait for Mama to rub the meddysins in real good.

Mama said her heart bursters with the JOY when Bacon is a good boy. I MAKE PROGRESS. Mama said so. Bacon learn to trust his Mama IMMMMPLISSSSITLEEE!!! YAYYYYYY! Bacon is a good boy! Let's cellybrate! WITH ZOOOOOOOMIES!@!!!@!!!!@!!!@!!!! YAHOOOOEY!

 

A BARFIE BOMB SPLODED! OMD!

April 14th 2011 6:41 am
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Dear Diary,

OMD! OMD!

Yesfurday when Bacon were on my walkiebout times in the nayboorhood on Sunset Road, I finded all kinds of deeeeeelighterful things to smell and taste!

When I came running out to my Mama after I hearded her calling "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" I were licking my choppers!

"Hmmmmm," she wondered, but she were so busy huggering and squeezering and smoochering the Bacon, she did not think too much about it. She had to hurry up and put some clothes and face spackles on, and tame the unruly snakeses in her hairs to go to work! That takes a LOOOOOOONG time.

Anyway, when Mama comeded home, she walked in the door, (LUCKY MAMA WERE HOME FURST THIS DAY, Papa were working late!) and a BARF BOMB OR TEN HAD SPLODED! EVFURRYWHERE! Littermaly from one end of the house to the othfur!

Bacon kinda thinked it were sooooooo neato cool! URKA GURKA brighten up the whole house like fresh paints!

But Mama did not clap or dance or sing with joy at all the Urkas or Gurkas! Nooooooooo! She put me OUTSIDE ON A LEASH! I were ready for LOVE! READY FOR ZOOMIES! READY FOR PLAYTIMES with my brofur.

:>( BOOOOOOOOOO!

Instead I watched while she draggeded all the furnychures out of the Livingmaroom area and then tossed out the throw rugs, then got down on her hands and kneeses and scrubbed the chunkses up and pretreatered the elebenty billyun spots. Then she moofed on to the craft room, where there were more of Bacon Beesun's Barfy Belly Bomb Artworks!

Mama had called Papa on the cellybone and very exciteredly told him to bring the carpet juice home, and then Mama and Papa took the big STEAM MACHINE out and had a carpet cleaning party! Three hours of carpet cleany fun!

Bacon were stuck UPSTAIRS ALL NIGHT making zoomie circles and squeakie times in confinerment! But I made sure to run down to the gate at the bottom of the stairs and BARK BARK BARK BARK at those fanses Papa put out to dry the carpets!

OMD! As my furriend Riley pointered out, APRIL 13, 2011 are going to go down in history as THE DAY OF INFIRMARY or INFAMERY or something REALLY COOL in the LIFE OF THE BACONATOR! Non-stop exciterments from sun up to sun down!

What a life!

 

Bacon WERE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

April 13th 2011 7:41 am
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Dear Diary!

You WILL NEVFUR EVFUR in a millyun and twenty-sevfun yearses guess what happeneded to me this morning!

It were the most MOST MOSTEST AH-MAY-ZING Advenchures evfur!

Just like always, soon as Mama's clocky MOOSICK went off, Bacon ran ovfur to covfur Mama with her morning time kisses. Sometimes she likea go back to nite-nite, but I say, "Rise & Shiny, Sleepy HEADS...it are time to party and time to potty!" And if she put the covfurs ovfur her head, I dig her out, to pracktiss in case Mama evfur gets trappeded in an avamalanche in the Mound, Minnesnowdah.

Anyfur, Mama let me & the Bean out to go potty (Big Orange are too lazy!) Bacon was Buck Naked on account of I eated my COLLAR!!! So this are the good part...this are the big exciting thing, right here, now, that Bacon are gonna tell you....

Papa thought Mama shut the garage door to put the pansy-time flowers in bed last night, and Mama thought Papa shut the garage door to put the pansy-time flowers in (they go nite-nite in the garage.) So when the howly wind blowed the side door to get to the garage from the backyard open, Bacon the GREAT SMART DOGGIE PUP knowed "YAY, I can walk right through the open door!"

AND GUESS WHAT!!! Today, Beanie Weenie the RUNAWAY didn't wanna go sploring with me. What the woof? This morning Needy Beanie wanted him's cuddle times with Mama more than running away. So he stood by the glass door to the house, presseded against it and waited for Mama to come get him.

But when she come to get him, she lookeded and lookeded, but Bacon was GONE!!!! NO BACON! Just wide open garage doors.

Mama runneded outside in her shortie nightie with no glasses and she could not see! She were YELLING "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Like a crazy woman. Then out comes Papa! IN HIM'S UNDERPANTSES! All the neighbors, they get their coffee, they get their papers, they say, "YEP, There are Papa Beesun in him's underpants again!" "And look Marge, there's the Crazy Mama! She's stumbling around in her nightie, screaming Bacon! Bacon! Do you think we should call the police?" "Nah, that's just a typical Wendy'sday morning ovfur there at the Beesun place."

Papa got in him's truck and he went driving to find the Bacon. I were at the big Yellow house with the stinky doodie piles. Luckily Bacon did not get hitted by a car and smoosheded like a grape or losted. Instead, I just sniffeded some good stinks, and then Bacon hearded his Mama! And I said, "OMD, it's Mama!" and I runneded out, and runneded straight to her, and let her pick me up, and hug, and squeeze me, and love me, and love me, and love me, and it were the BEST DAY EVFUR!!!!!

Okay, now I got nothfur surprizer for you!!! Do BACON MAKE YOU HAPPY? The furst nine furriends who respond, BACON MAKES ME HAPPY in the comments below, will get one of these, MAILDED TO YOUR HOUSE, and become HONORARIAL Members of the Bacon Beesun Fan Club of the Mericas!!!

Do Bacon Make YOU Happy?

 

Mama would've been so proud of me!!!!

April 7th 2011 10:07 am
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Dear Diary,

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bacon are disappointered!

Mama was at the work making work times so we can have treats and toys and she TOTERLY missed Bacon's superpawtasktikal acheeverments in DIGGING AND MUD!!!!

And PAPA didn't even take NO PICFURS!

I heard him on the phone telling Mama all about it, very EXCITEDLY! This was a REALLY BIG DEAL! OMD! Papa were getting kinda loud he were so excited about all the MUDS!!!

I think I may be some kind of HEEEEROW or something!

Our fambly has nevfur had no diggers before. Didn't they LUCK OUT ON GETTING ME??? A GRAND CHAMPEEEUN, right outta the gate???

Oh HEAVENS TO MURGATROID! The fun! Mud is COLD!

What's really pawesome are that Papa puts out these hamster pipes in the springtime, and it are for the water that are not supposed to be going in the Beesun Basement to get pumped out into the yard, so Mama's underpantses and socks on the basement floor can stay dry!

Well, Bacon have NEVFUR SEEN NOTHING SO PAWTACKYLARRYLY PAWESOME EVFUR as when the water comes GUSHERING OUT OF THE END OF THE PIPES! OMD! OMD! IT'S THE GREATEST!!! EVFUR. Evfurry day, I stand out there, at the end of the pipe, just watching and waiting for the gushers to come!!!

It makes a whoosh, whoosh, whoooooosh sound and then weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! WATER FALLLLLLLS! So PRETTTTTY! I stand real patientlike at the end of the pipe and wait for it come! Because that are Bacon, real calm and Zen-like, Mama says! BOL! BOL! That Mama! She so funny! What are Zen?

And now, wait, it gets better! The water makes the ground all puddly, and mucky, ucky, soggy-bottom! Perfect for DIGGGGGING!!!!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Stir it up, stir it up, mash it up! Dig, dig, dig! WOOOHOOO! FUNTIMES!

You shoulda seen me this morning! OMD! I were digging like mad man! Papa says I were up to my ARMPITS AND LOOKED LIKE THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOOOOOOOON! He are evfurdentally a real famous MUDDY DIGGER LIKE MEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

OMD! I wish Mama coulda seen me. (sads) But I think maybe later, after more zoomie laps and squeaking and ball chasing and fun, maybe I can get to work on Mama's GINORMOUS GARDEN!!! It are ovfur 40 feetses of prime muddy real estates, ripe for the Baconation of the Baconator, SUPREME DIGGING MACHINE AND CHAMPEEUN MUD DOG OF THE OOOONIVERSES!!!! WooohOOOOOOO! Yay Me!

 

A German Sheepheardeder Puppy and a Beegull named DAKOTAH!- came to visit me!

April 5th 2011 2:15 pm
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Dear Diary,

OMD!

Yesfurday were best day evfur! Just pawtackylar!

Furst, right after Mama went to the work, Papa's furriend came ovfur.

And he bringed a German Sheepheardeder puppy, who were only 7 weeks old, ovfur to meet the Beesun Pack!

The Beesun Pack Meets the German Sheepheardeder Puppy!

Bacon were so excited to meet the little puppy! Hi PUPPY! Hi! Hi! HI LITTLE PUPPY! I said! Let's PLAY! We can be best furriends! I have a Grunty Pig!!!! He says "GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT!" OMD he are so funny. You will love the Grunty Pig! (zooom zooom zooom bow bow pounce, paw at puppy's face)

No, No, No, Little Baby Pubby Man! Play with MEEE! The Bacon! Ovfur here!

Papa said "Bacon you are a little much for the puppy, maybe you might wanna take it down a notch!!!" BOL! BOL! Bacon don't knowed what that mean, but it make me laff and laff and laff!!!!

And then in the afternoontimes when my Mama comes home from working, she had a Beegull girl named Dakotah! with her! OMD! A BEEGULLLL!

Bacon were sooooo excited to meet the Beegull named DAKOTAH! Hi Dakotah Beegull! Hi! HI! HI! I said to her! (bounce bounce bounce)

But then Dakotah were on a leash and Beanie doesn't like girlie dogs (him & Izzy are not really good at making the nice times togethfur and sometimes they make snarly faces at eachothfur and Mama says NO! NO! NO!) and so Dakotah and Beanie mades snarly faces at eachothfur. So all the Beesun Pupses had to go out in the back yard and no more playing with the pretty Beegull girl.

So then our Mama put the speshull magickal numbers on Dakotah's necklace into the cellbone and she called up Dakotah's Mama & Papa and said..."YAY! YAY! YAY!!!! Dakotah runned away! Dakotah are at our house! You are her Mama & Papa! She cannot live here at the Beesun house. We has enuff doggies! Dakotah hasta go home to your house!!!"

Then Dakotah went bye-bye in the car! And then all the Beesun Doggies ate lotsa treats! And Bacon played with Mr. Vulture and Gruntie Pig and I taked the howler out of the howler monkey and Mama gave me a MAGICKAL PURPLE JELLY BEAN AND IT WERE THE YUMMIEST TREAT EVFUR! And Papa said, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED BACON THE JELLY BEANS! AND Mama said, HE ARE MY PRECIOUS BOY AND HE WANTSES A JELLY BEAN.

And then me & Mama laffed and laffed and then we went night night and lived happily evfur after.

Amenz.

 

Walks!!! OMD! Bacon LOVES Walks!

April 3rd 2011 3:54 pm
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Dear Diary!

Bacon loves Spring! Spring are the best!

In the Spring, you can go for walks!

OMD! Walks! Walks are the best!

Bacon loves to walk! And run!

Me & Beanie each got a special walkie time harness like big Sled Doggies! Mama says we need to learn MANNERS!!!! YAY! Bacon loves to learn! Beanie has ESPESHULLY BAD WALKIE TIME MANNERS! BOL! Bacon don't know what that means but boy are it funny! BOL! BOL! BOL! Beanie are so funny.

Yesfurday we got to smell goose poop, and see the Magic Doors at the Shoppytime Mall, and then we met our furriends, Bonnie, and Daisy, and Scottie. And Beanie poopeded and Mama scoopeded. Then Beanie did a funny hoedown donkey kicking dance! And Bacon laffed and laffed. They musta teacheded him them country time dances in Missoooooooree, where he got borneded!

Today on our Springie time walk, Mama brought two baggies for pooper scoopering, one for me & one for Beanie. But Beanie ALWAYS gotta be the Big Shooter, so he made poopeded TWO times and then Mama said Bacon now you cannot make the doodie on the walkie times! OMD! That were a lot of pressure! But OH WELL! Bacon still wuff the WALKIE TIMES!

Springie time is the best! I hope we getta go for walks evfurry day! Happy Sunnyday to all my furriends!

(oh and guess what!!!! Bacon's pink & purple spotty grunty pig stopped making the grunty time noises! Booooooooooooo. No fun!!! So YESFURDAY Mama went to the store and she gotted me a new green & blue spotty grunty pig! GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT! OMD! I wuff him!!!! YAY!!!! OMD! Bacon Beesun has the best life evfur!!! And then guess what else? Today, cause my brofur Beanie are famous, like Doggie of the Millenium and Universes and New Year or something here on Dogster, we got to has some flossies!!! BACON LOVES FLOSSIES!!! Wooooohooooo! Wuff you furriendses evfurrywheres!)

 

Anothfur Great Day for Bacon!!! YIPPPEEEE!

March 25th 2011 7:15 am
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Dear Diary!

Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Yippeeeee Yahooo! Scoobidy Doobidy, Yabba Dabba Dooooooooo!

Bacon just knowed when I waked up and dive-bombeded Mama's head the second she moofed this morning that today were going to be soooper dooper pawesome SPECKTACKYLAR kinda day!!!

"Get up! Get up!" I told Mama. "It's time to play! It's time to greet anothfur Bacony Day!!!"

Beanie muttered, "OH BROFUR!" Cause he's not sooper excitabull like the Bacon! He did not know it were an EXTRA SPESHULL DAY!

But then he heard all the SQUEALING and Clapping when Mama turned on the computer and then we all barked and danced and did some Zoomies!!!

Bacon grabbed his HOWLER MONKEY and Beanie got his squeakie purse and we ran elebenty circles around the upstairs!!!

Papa, who were still trying to sleep, said, "HOLY COWS" not really, he said "@^%#%&$*#^%$%(*&^$^#@!!!!!" but this are a fambly show here, and Mama said, "BACON ARE DIARY OF THE DAY ON DOGSTER!!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEEE! All his furriends are partying like rock stars! Wooohoooo! What a week in the life of THE BACON!"

And then me & Beanie went outside and we ran in the snow and Beanie bark, bark, barked cause he couldn't catch me! And then Mama yelled out the door for Beanie to shut his piehole!!! OMD! What a pawesome morning!

This are BACON'S BEST MORNING EVFUR!!!!! ALL YOU GUYS WHO ARE CELLYBRATING MY SOOOPER BIG WEEK OF SOOOPER STARDOME AND INFAMEEEEEEEZ ARE THE BEST!

OMD! I think I'm gonna go get Grunty PIG and DO MORE ZOOOOMEEEEEEEZ!!! YAHOOOO! What a DAY! It's a Great Day for Bacon!

 

BIG EXCITING SURPRISE FOR BACON!!!!

March 23rd 2011 4:10 pm
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Dear Diary,

Lookee! Lookee!!! OMD!

Mama says Bacon are a rockstar!

Twinkle! Twinkle! Bacon are a star! Wooohooooo!

This are Bacon's bestest day evfur, since, since, since, YESFURDAY! HOOOOOOORAY! (zooom, zooom, zooom)

Bacon's Soooooo Excited!

Happy Wendy's Day of Bacon Week!

Pet of the Week!!!!

 

ADHD Dog w/Allergies Needs Your Recommendations on Activity- Toys

March 23rd 2011 2:21 pm
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Does your dog have a favorite activity toy that does NOT involve food/edibles (not Kongs or Bully Sticks?)

I need recommendations for puzzle toys for Bacon.

Zoe gave him one of those squares with cutouts, where you put multiple squeaker toys in, and he loves it, figuring out how to get them out.

Bacon needs constant entertainment or he gets destructive, and I don't want to overfeed him. Besides that, with his allergies, he can't do peanut butter, or chewlottas, or really many foods at all.

Since I know he LOVES toys, I'm hoping you have some more puzzle toys or hide-stuff-inside toys that you could recommend.

Thnx!

 
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