P'tooie!!!

Sometimes a dog just has to be clear in his message. Today, just before dinnertime, my tummy was a little upset so I threw up on the living room carpet. Twice. Mom had to get out her Little Green ProHeat Bissell carpet cleaner and said, like she always does, "Thank goodness for this little carpet cleaner!" and clean it up. (I really like the L.G.P.B. carpet cleaner, too, because it always saves me from a scolding when I make a mistake on the carpet.) Anyway, as I said, this happened just at dinner-time, so Mom decided I should just have DRY KIBBLE for dinner so as not to further upset my stomach. What she doesn't get is that my stomach wasn't upset any more - that's what vomiting is for - DUH! Well, I just took a big mouthful of that DRY KIBBLE, walked over and dropped it at her feet. I think she got the message.

Wha' the ...

I'm worried. Today Mom was busy, busy, busy. Vaccuuming, de-cluttering, wrapping and putting things in boxes, moving furniture... she hardly paid any attention to me at all, even though I followed her around all day looking very anxious. She didn't sit down in our chair at all - something unusual is going on and I don't like the looks of it - too much activity is not a good sign. There also have been strange people in the house recently and I don't like strangers very much. I usually just go and lie very close to Tanner on his pillow when there are strangers in the house and watch them carefully from a distance.

Tanner is not having a good day. He's hardly eaten a thing, even when Mom tried to tempt him with liver pate. He didn't want to go in the car today, and, even though I'm always excited to go, I don't like staying in the car alone. I start to hyperventilate. Mom spent a long time lying on the bed with Tanner, stroking him and rubbing his ears. I get a little jealous when she does that, but I know it makes him feel better.

Mom keeps trying to encourage me to become more independent and not to rely on Tanner so much. I know she worries about Tanner and also about how lonely I would be without him. But I don't want to think about that...

Dog-gone too long!

I'm pooped! Who knew that one of my favorite activities would become an endurance test! Mom asked us (me and my BFF Tanner) if we wanted to go in the car today, but she didn't tell us how long it would be before we could get out again. Between a couple of shopping stops where SHE got to go shopping and we got to WAIT and the long ride to the final destination, which was NOT a dog park, we had to be in the car for three hours, with only one potty break. At least I got a really big dog biscuit when she stopped at Cruisin'Coffee - they give much bigger biscuits than the bank or the pharmacy - and when Tanner didn't eat his quickly enough, I helped him finish it. Mom tried to hide part of one in the front door pocket, but when she was out of the car, I found it! The smell of fresh crumbs on my breath was a dead give-away, though, and she told me I wasn't going to get any dinner! I wasn't worried, though, I knew it was just a bluff.

Well, after more shopping, and driving, and shopping again, and one more potty break where there weren't even any good smells, we finally headed for home. Thank Dog, she took us for a walk after dinner (I did get some), so we could get some of the kinks out. Now I'm taking a nap, too tired even to play revolving bunny.

Travelin' Dog

Mom has decided she wants to take me to Paris with her. I don't know... that's quite a change from living with a hoarder in a house with 80 other dogs. Of course, Paris is a very dog-friendly town... I'd be able to go with her almost everywhere. But getting there is a challenge. I'd have to be in a CRATE under a seat for 9 hours. I may have mentioned that I'm no lightweight, so that's a pretty tight squeeze for me, not to mention my claustrophobia. I can't decide whether it's worse to travel or if it's worse to be separated from her for three months. I know it would break her heart to be without me for that long.

Mom thinks that I'll gradually get used to being in the crate if we work at it little by little every day. She uses treats to encourage me, which I LOVE, but it's kind of counter-productive since I can just barely fit into the crate as it is. I have a feeling that once I agree to this, it's going to be major diet and exercise for me until we leave.

"Exposition"

Mom's an Engish teacher; the exposition in literature is the necessary background the reader needs to understand the story. Mom met me for the first time in a cemetery; I don't know if that has any significance or not - maybe it means "till death do us part." Anyway, she sort of liked the looks of me and I went home with her - in a crate! Well, I didn't put up with that for very long; I let her know that I had claustrophobia and when she opened the door to comfort me I burst out onto her lap. Wiggles and kisses later, she was convinced - no crate necessary.

From the very start, I was determined to make myself indispensible to her well-being. It was a little rough going at first till she explained clearly where I was supposed to go to the bathroom, but, even though I still have an occasional lapse of memory, we've now come to an agreement on that subject. I show her how much I LOVE everything we do: I LOVE going in the car, I LOVE coming home to the same place I left, I LOVE going for walks, I LOVE my dinner and treats and marrow bones, I LOVE my Salvador Dali bunny, and I give lots of nose bumps and kisses to show her how much I LOVE her.

The first night at my new home, she thought I'd sleep in a DOG bed in her bedroom! I made it very clear that that was not acceptable, not even thinkable! I jumped right up on her bed and snuggled up. There was no further discussion about sleeping arrangements. She did have to get me some stairs to get up and down from the bed, though. Those deep pillow-top mattresses are pretty high for a short guy.

The only thing I would like more of is FOOD. Just because I don't have a wasp waist, Mom thinks she has to ration my food. I even took swimming lessons for twelve weeks to work off some pounds, but it didn't work. So now I'm doomed to diet.