Humph... insane humans!

I mean really... those insane humans have done it again! First they have the boa constrictor.. ick.. it's not even carrying a tennis ball!! Then they feed it those delectable squirrels from outside.... I know they are dead from the metal monsters that roar down the road but still! I NEED A SQUIRREL!! I'm a squirrel patrol dog for pete's sake!

The latest addition to my house has been (salivates slightly as a rope of drool forms....) a rabbit.....

I can't understand it! Do those humans know what this does to me?!?!

And of course that lazy lumax of a dane has made friends with it! He sniffs the rabbit through the wire... Mmmmm... if only I could convince that rabbit to come out of the cage.... we could really have a race then!

Then there was the day when the rabbit was missing. That lazy dane actually ran from room to room to look for it! Now that was fun, since at first I thought he was running with me.. but then kept stopping to demand attention from the humans... Bah.. and then the rabbit magically reappeared later..

My tennis balls have been looking a bit scruffy lately, but finally I think maybe it's a cruel joke on my humans part but they finally did bring home squirrels just for me. I know what your prolly thinking... dead? Nope you dope.. toy squirrels.. the kind with the squeakies... (grinz.. as she licks her lips...) Squeakies.... I do love the squeakies! They bought quite a few of these squeaky squirrels as the humans babbled something about not liking to step on tennis balls. Hell, what do humans know anyhow?

It's not like the dane is going to take away my squirrels... he's lazy remember. Besides now I can go "squeaky" all through the house! I tried a few times to bring my squirrels out to the yard for a re-enactment, but the humans took the squeaky squirrel away before I could... (snorts) I just wanted to show those goofy yard intruders what I'd do to them!

Oh... I see a squirrel through the window.... we've been invaded!!! Type later!!

It's hard to be me!

I swear.. all I try to do is be the perfect dog that I look like, and nobody appriciates me!

I spend most of my days doing squirrel patrol. For those who don't know what that is, let me enlighten you... I spend most of my time chasing those furry, evil, varmits out of the yard, thus - protecting the house. It's not as easy as it seems either.

I watch from the windows.. most times racing from window to window to make sure of the progress of any squirrel coming a bit too close to the property. Then when they actually look at the yard, I bark to be let out!! Maybe I'm a bit too extreame but I'm not giving those wicked squirrels a chance. What if they take one of my beloved tennis balls?!?!

Of course if any of my humans inside the house are taking a nap at that time, it's my duty as a dog on squirrel patrol to not only inform all door-opening personel (in that human's ear with a shrill bark..) but to also make sure they are completely awake by stomping across their napping bodies. How else would they know that we were being invaded by squirrels?! Humans must be the laziest creatures on earth!

Now... if only I could get Darwin to help! He's just as lazy as those humans!!