Gotcha Day! Big Celebrations, BOL!

Guess what today (Sunday) is? MY GOTCHA DAY! Party time! BOL!!!

Mummy's home!

Mummy was away all week again in that foreign country that is England. Across the sea and all that. Anyway, I've been extra spoiled this week. Nana and Granddad have a rota going. Granddad takes me walking in the mornings and Nana takes me at night.

Anyway, today Friday was Mummy's coming home day. Nana told me my Mummy was coming home and HEADED FOR THE AIRPORT WITHOUT ME! She did say it was too warm to keep a doggie in the car or something. That's not the point. I would have been at the airport with one of those signs. Ms Angie Colton. My employee. Currently on secondment to some company in England. Or something.

Anyway, they EVENTUALLY came back. And what a reunion! I jumped up on Mummy. Sniffed her all over for those English smells. Licked her face a bit. Barked at my Nana to tell her Mummy was home. Dropped my ball at Mummy's feet to play with me. Had my chicken dinner hand fed by Mummy. Later, we came back to our house where Mummy took out the Wine Dwip. And gave me lots of cheese. And sweeties. And treats. And now we're going outside to patrol the estate. Just in case the cats are around or something. I am one happy dog!!!

I have an itis!!!

Nana had to bring me to the sneaky vet today cos my eyes were really sore. Before Mummy went away she noticed that one of my eyes was a bit bloodshot and there was some stuff coming from it (the tracks of my tears, no doubt). Anyway, Nana's been bathing my eye in salty water and she thought I was getting better but this morning she noticed both my pretty little doggie eyes were sore - I couldn't flutter my eyelashes or nothin!

So I was hauled off to the vet. Had a good bark in the waiting room. Growled at a couple of dogs. Got poked and prodded, He said it's ok, it's "only conjunctivitis". Nothing to worry about, he said. It will clear up in 3 or 4 days, he said.

Well I have news for you, Mister Vet. I have an itis. That's a disease. I'm seriously ill.

He didn't even prescribe bed rest or extra treats or nothin. Just some stinky ointment Nana has to put on my eyes. And Mummy didn't even offer to come home from England or nothin. Life is so unfair.

Mummy has emigrated or somethin'!

Sigh. Here I am in Nana and Granddad's, dictating secretely into my dogtaphone in a quiet corner.

My Mummy left me today. Ok, that sounds a bit dramatic I know. But she went away really early this morning to a completely different country. Yes, she is overseas in England and I am here.

Mummy and me have never spent more than 2 nights apart since my gotcha day nearly 4 years ago. She started a new job and the company is in England so she has lots of obedience training to do. 3 weeks at least away from me.

Nana has been trying to console me by telling me that Mummy will be home on Friday and every weekend, and when the 3 weeks are over she can work from home. Mummy brought me shopping on Saturday and stocked up on my sweeties and choc drops and a big pork bone that Nana says looks horrible. But it's mine. And my Mummy bought it for me. So I will treasure it. Sigh. Mummy took a photo of my bag when she was bringing me over to Nana and Granddad's. In it are my treats, sweeties, comb, dry shampoo, and stuff she uses to detangle my hair. It's my special Spongebob Squarepants bag and IF SHE HAS TIME living it up there in England she might post the photo sometime.

It's such a hard life. I feel deprived. Yes, thank you Nana, I will have some of those delicious bonios, and some of those sweeties on my blankie. And thank you Granddad for that great ear tickle and belly rub earlier. Sigh.

Rain, Rain, Rain!

It's been raining all day. In between sunshine. Mummy and I have been in and out to our personal dog park all day. This is the grounds of an old Psychiatric hospital that closed in 1992, me and lots of other doggies go out there cos Bill the caretaker lets us all run off our leashes and have lots of fun! Anyway, I met my friend Daisy again today. She's the one with the pony mane - BOL! We chase each other all around the place and then I rugby tackle her and she rolls over on her back! Such fun!

Anyway Mummy took a picture of me barking instructions to Daisy, which she will post for me. She says I look like a real "bossy boots" cos I'm barking and Daisy is just sitting there wagging her tail. That's cos she's just a puppy. And I'm the boss.

Anyway, Mummy starts her new job on Monday. She's been in a real temper all day cos she was offered the job over the phone on June 19th and told the money part, she's been chasing a contract ever since and they only sent it through TODAY, and it's a huge amount less than what she was told!!!! They are saying this is what they told her the salary was but she remembers the conversation. It's about the same as her last job but she thought we'd have a lot more money every month so she's in a really, really bad mood!!!!! But I am have been reassured that my choc drops and treats will still be the same so that's good! At least Mummy has a job, she hasn't had a salary since May and she's looking forward to getting money again.

Mummy! Unplug that wine dwip now and post my photo! Thanking you!

Cleo's Mystical Meanderings™ Tour of Ireland

Well pupsters, as many of you will know, Ireland is a mystical land full of music, poetry and song. Our little country’s national Day, St Patrick’s Day, is celebrated throughout the world. We all know that the country’s swarming with leprechauns, those charming little people of Irish legend. And you can’t walk for more than a few feet without meeting a cheery little fairy or a goblin or sumfin. And the peoples here have a wonderful life. They sit around all day drinkin whiskey, telling stories and growing cabbages. Only last week, I was walking through a field when I met a druid who

CLEO! What is that rubbish that you are writing in your diary? What do you mean Mummy? You know full well Cleo that this stuff is only myth. Made up for tourists.

Well YES, Mummy. YOU know that. And I know that. But Cleo’s Escorted Irish Tours™ is taking bookings right now. Our Mystical Meanderings™ tour will show the tourists all that is synonymous with Ireland. I have a whole itinerary done out an’ all:

Day 1: Coach transfer from the airport to Molly O’Moore’s pub, where we will partake in light refreshments of poitin and cabbage soup. From there, we will proceed to a real fairy fort (currently under construction) where I have organized a fairy egg hunting contest. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.

Day 2: Trip to Blarney where we will all kiss the Blarney Stone, which imparts the magical gift of eloquence to all who kiss it. Followed by a meeting with a real druid, where we will perform incantations and ritual dancing around a four leaved clover, while holding our shillelaghs in the air. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.

Day 3: A personal audience with St Patrick himself. I intend to ask him to reverse his ban on snakes in Ireland cos I have nothing interesting to bark at. I believe Bono will also be making an appearance on a nearby cloud. Followed by a trip to the Guinness brewery. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.

Day 4: A special reception co-hosted by Leabhras O’Muirihurteagh, king of the leprechauns, and Concepta Ni Flootachain, a goblin princess. Here we will partake in general merriment and shenanigans. Transport to the airport where each member of the group will be presented with a genuine pot of gold and a signed, framed photograph of the noted Irish author, Cleopatra Ni Chomhaltain.

Hmmmm. That’s sure a lot of cabbage. And what is this “beautifully appointed accommodation” you keep mentioning? Don’t worry Mummy. I was planting cabbage seeds outside earlier. You didn’t really need those dahlias and roses and other smelly flowers out there. As for the accommodation, I’ll need you to move the bed out of the spare bedroom to make more space. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m tired. Good thing I went offline before we had this conversation. I’ll tell the pupsters my druid story tomorrow.

The Great Kennel Makeover!

This morning, Mummy got one of her "bright ideas". My idea of a bright idea, of course, involves a walk. Not so for her ladyship. She decided to paint my kennel. Anyway, my kennel was brown and kinda boring. Mummy decided to paint it white. Very sloppily. Ma ain't the best painter on the planet. She kinda slapped the paint on. (She wasn't hooked up to a Bodka Dwip (can't find the TM at the moment, he must be on a tea break).

Anyway, thankfully Nana called to ask if we wanted to go for a drive up to the Burren. Which is apparently one of those UNESCO heritage places or sumfin. I got Mummy to take some photos. We had a great time! Then we came home and looked at the 'lympic ceremony. That's in England which is our nearest country. They used to be in charge of us once - GRRRRR! But when the 'lympic torch was on its way to London, they were very nice and passed it through Ireland. Not just the part that's part of the United Kingdom but they also sent it down to Dublin which the peoples here in Ireland really appreciated. Anyway the ceremony was fantastic! And Mummy and me watched it in Nana and Granddad's. And now we're home, and Mummy's tap-tap-tapping into that laptop thingy!

Anyway, when the kennel makeover is complete I'll post a photo! If herself ever gets off the computer that is...................

My Mummy, the sloppy wino!

Mummy had to go to the dentist today. Dentists are like vets 'cept they just look after human peoples' teeth and stuff. Anyway, I was over with Nana and Granddad and when she got back it was so funny! She looked like someone who got one of those buttocks injections I've seen on the telly, they make your lips look like you were stung by a buzzy bee or sumfin. And she was talking all weird - BOL!

Anyway, today was a lovely sunny day here across the 'lantic ocean in Ireland. So Mummy decided she'd sit outside and have a nice glass of wine. 'sept she was dribbling and drooling and slobbering all over the top she was wearing. She looked a bit loony toons. A sandwich short of a picnic. A spanner short of a toolkit. Not the full shilling. Away with the fairies.... (I'm sure my friends 'cross the 'lantic ocean have other non-Irish sayings to describe what I'm talking about, for some reason, we have a lot of sayings here to describe this particular affliction.....)

Cleo, what are you doing? Nothing Mummy! I'm just online getting some ideas for your birthday. But my birthday's not till September! Oh I know that Mummy, but I wanted to make sure I get you the perfect present this year. Oh Cleo, you are the sweetest little puppy in the whole world! It was such a lucky day I saw you in that pound and took you home! Yes, Mummy. Everyday I count my blessings that you rescued me from that awful place and took me to live in my wonderful forever home! (Better go before she gets too boisterous, you know what these mad drunks are like!) BOL!

Cranky Mummy and walks with Grandad!

Last night Mummy dropped me over to Nana and Grandad's. She was heading off early this morning with her friends. Where? I did not know. Anyway, as it happens Mummy went off down to Killarney which is a lovely place with really nice scenery and stuff. So she climbed a mountain with her 3 friends. Now she's a bit cranky cos she's stiff or somfin, ha ha!

Anyway, back to more important matters. Nana and Grandad took me for a long walk this morning. I asked cranky, stiff Mummy to upload a photo of me and Grandad for you to see. Don't I look pretty? And so good! Anyway afterwards I got tons of meatz and stuff. Then they brought me for a shorter walk in the evening. I didn't see Ben (sigh...). Then Mummy (eventually) arrived and collected me. And she's been hooked to the Wine Dwip ever since, which I'm waiting for Zaidie to patent. Now I'm watching her tap-tap-tapping into that computer thingy she has, and ignoring me again. Nufin new there.

No more news. Until tomorrow when I'm hoping something interesting will happen. Which probably won't happen cos Nana, Grandad and a very stiff Mummy will probably be watching the end of the British Open golf thing. Where that wild tiger is still roaming around and nobody is listening to my warnings 'bout dangerous animals and stuff.

Thank you Zaidie!

Not braggin or nothin, but I'm enjoying a big juicy steak that Zaidie sent me. So I'm special. 'nough said.