Cleopatra's Classified Column

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Got a Christmassy card from Whitley!

December 28th 2012 8:14 am
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Whitley's Christmassy card arrived today! I've been sniffing the letterbox an' sittin' at the window waitin' an waitin' an waitin' for the postman to bring it and here it is!

Make room Mummy! Whitley's card is going somewhere special! Thanks Whitley! XXX

 

Only one more sleep till Santa Paws!

December 23rd 2012 4:45 pm
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Oh pupsies, I am so excited! I do not think I will get a single wink of sleep tonight! Tomorrow night, Santa Paws is coming all the way to my Nana and Granddad’s house to bring my sweeties, treats, sweeties, squeaky toys, sweeties, sweeties, and sweeties!

Mummy an’ me always go over to Nana and Granddad’s on Christmas Eve and have two sleeps there, then we come back to our own house on St. Stephen’s Day. So in the morning, Mummy will be packing the car up with my Spongebob Squarepants mini-break bag, lots of pressies, her clothes an’ stuff, Oh, and my Santa hat, her Santa hat, her wine for da Dwip, an’ lots of other junk an’ stuff. Then this is when all the hard work in the preparation for the Santa Paws event starts. I don’t even have time to greet my Nana and Granddad an’ give ‘em kisses an’ stuff. First, I sniff up the chimney to make sure it looks clear. Then I bark up there in case any of da birdies are thinkin’ of spendin’ da Christmas holidays in my Nana and Granddad’s chimney. Then after that, I bark at Mummy to hang my Christmassy stocking up over my bed in the kitchen. Before going for a tour of the garden and general environs to make sure there is nothing blocking Santa Paws an’ his reindeers an’ sleigh an’ stuff from landing on the chimney. An’ then, I prepare the snacks for Santa an’ all the reindeers. I’m giving him extra this year ‘cos I’m pretty sure he dipped into my sweeties last year. Mummy says it’s cos I was just eating more of them but I’m not so sure. Nana lends me her apron with the little doggies on it that I bought her for the Santa Paws snack preparation.

I know Nana, Granddad and Mummy will be disappointed that I can’t spend as much time as usual having my ears tickled by Granddad, my back rubbed by Nana and being played with by Mummy. But I really will be so busy!

Oh, did you know that there is a legend in Ireland that all animals can speak hooman on Christmas Eve night? Well of course we can speak hooman, it’s just that we choose not to! I can converse fluently in English and Irish (Gaelic) and my French is coming on quite well too.

 

A Christmassy card from Canada!

December 21st 2012 2:57 am
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Oh wow! I was just reclining in Mummy's bed enjoying the first day of my holidays when Mummy brought me the most wonderful thing. Zaidie's card has arrived! It got all the way 'cross the 'lactic ocean without even a single drop of water or seaweed or other stuff on it! I'm so happy! I have a picture of Zaidie and his lil' skwerl buddy to put on my fireplace. Mummy's stoopid cards and decorations an' stuff will have to make way!

Thank you Zaidie! I'm presuming the canine-skwerl ceasefire is just a temporary one and you can resume your chasings after a certain fat guy has safely dropped off your pressies?

 

Dear Santa Paws............

December 20th 2012 7:33 am
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Dear Santa Paws,

I hope you are well and not too stressed out getting the pressies ready for us doggies! My Mummy has told me that I made the nice list this year but I just need to check that she got that right! Are you sure you’re ok with me starting off the barking fest with the other doggies in the park the other night? The hooman peoples weren’t too happy but I was just trying to start off the Christmas carolling an’ merriment an’ stuff. What about me sneakying off with my squeaky toy that I “found” on the sofa just as Mummy was wrapping Christmas pressies last night? Just checking you’re ok with that too. Getting my squeaky toy a few days early can’t hurt, can it? And what about when Mummy yelled at me in the car yesterday when I was barking my Christmassy carols out of the car at everyone? I was merely trying to spread some Christmas cheer, as I’m sure you know! Chasing the neighbour’s half-blind old kitty cat up a tree a couple of weeks ago? You sure you’re ok with that?

Anyway Santa Paws, assuming I did make the nice list, I just wanted to make sure you don’t forget what I’m wishing for this Christmas. The usual doggie stocking with the treats, choc drops and squeaky toy for starters. I would also like a nice little something sparkly. Perhaps a diamond encrusted collar or maybe a nice pair or earrings or sumfin’. Oh, and Meatz! Lots and lots of Meatz, please. It’s getting kinda chilly here in Ireland now so maybe a nice fur-trimmed coat. Not real fur please, the fake stuff will do fine. No animals were harmed in the making of this diva. Oh, and could I have my own car please? Mummy has a stinky old one and it’s kinda embarrassing being seen in it. Besides, if I had my own wheels I could pop out to the pet store whenever I feel like it. And I can sing my Christmassy carols out the window as loud as I want. A pink car would be lovely. Maybe a little sporty model?

So there we go Santa. As you can see I’m as undemanding as ever. Being so good and so modest and quiet, I’m sure I will qualify for everything on my wish list.

Bark at ya Christmas Eve! (Oh Santa Paws, I’m sure you won’t forget this, but just to remind you that I’ll be at Nana and Granddad’s Christmas Eve. I made sure Nana had the chimney cleaned for you. I will find something in Nana and Granddad’s to leave out for you. So please don’t eat any of my choc drops like you did last year.)

 

I got two Christmassy cards in da post!!!!

December 18th 2012 4:37 am
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Today, I got two Christmassy cards. Mummy is annoyed cos she just got one BOL!

One was from my Nana and Granddad. Nana was laughing cos she hasn't sent any to Mummy yet. Oops! But the other one has me all excited - it's from Scooter, Misty, Cutter and Pepper, aka The Papillon Pack!!!! The envelope had such a lovely design across the back that Mummy had to open it very carefully across the top so as not to disturb the lovely design. Inside was a beautiful, specially designed card for me, Cleo! And if that's not enough, my VERY OWN Mr.Bacon air freshner! I am going to ask Mummy to decorate my bed with that!

Thank you Scooter, Misty, Cutter and Pepper! I LOVE my card!

Lots of love,

Cleo XXX

 

Charity Begins at Home...

December 16th 2012 1:34 pm
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.....or so the saying goes. My Mummy hasn't heard of that saying anyway, cos it sure isn't being applied in my house!

Tonight, there are two local dog rescue groups doing a sleepover outside our local courthouse and the hoomans peoples and their doggies are dropping over food and money and blankies and stuff. So Mummy and Nana went off today and bought dog food and new blankies for the poor unfortunate dogs. And what about poor unfortunate little me? Did they buy any stuff for me? Even so much as a small packet of rawhide or little bikkies or something? Absolutely NOTHING!

Anyway we went down there and there were lots of peoples with their dogs. I even started off a big barking chain. Showing my solidarity for the poor unfortunate dogs and all. And I met a HUGE dog whose sister is the first dog of Ireland! Yes, his sister lives with the President!!!!

Mummy said I was a great dog for doing my charitable deed and she just gave me some sweeties. At least she didn't give those away!!!

 

Mummy's hooked to da Bodka Dwip tonight!

December 15th 2012 7:12 pm
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Mummy went out with her friends tonight. I was just checking my facebook page cos I was expecting a message from my good friend Brad Pitt and there she was all over the place, being tagged with this person and that person with her stoopid Santa hat with the pigtails on! I am SO mortified! I will have to take her aside and talk to her about her behaviour. Seriously, it's not on.

 

I got a Christmassy card in the post!

December 14th 2012 2:59 am
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Pupsies - I am so excited! The postman just came and there was a Christmas card addressed 'specially for me, Cleo, all the way from Topeka in the United States 'cross the 'lantic ocean!!!! It's from my lovely buddies Kenny and Dooli - thank you guys!

Mummy says to tell Kenny, Dooli, Scooter, Misty, Cutter, Pepper and Zaidie that all your cards went in the post yesterday evening so you should all (hopefully) get them before Santa Paws arrives! Mummy had to get some special stamps for your cards to fly 'cross the 'lantic or sumfin.

Anyway, I am SOOOOO excited! My very own card! Usually the only post I get addressed to me is from my vet reminding me I need to get my yucky injectiolins done!

 

Stoopid photo!

December 13th 2012 2:32 pm
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Do any other pupsies have to put up with this nonsense??? This evening, Mummy went into town and bought stoopid Santa hats for the two of us. At least hers is normal, mine has a big Santa stuck on the front! Anyway she sat us both down in front of the Christmas tree and started taking photographs of the two of us. Needless to say, I am not very happy! So I put on my best pissed off face. Mummy thinks I look like a gangsta rapper or sumfin. Mummy! Don't you DARE put any photos on that interweb thingy! Specially on that book of faces you're addicted to, an' 'specially not my Dogster profile!!!!

 

I made the nice list! OFFICIALLY from Santa!

December 12th 2012 2:43 pm
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Mummy says she got a text message or e-mail or sumfin directly from Mr Claus himself! And I'm OFFICIALLY on the nice list this year! Phew! I've been so worried that Santa might not bring me another doggie Christmas stocking with my favoutite choc drops an' squeaky toy an' cranberry treats or sumfin' else Christmassy!

Mummy says this early confirmation is because of my dual guard dog duties in both my own house (sorry Mummy, our house) and my holiday home (sorry Nana and Granddad, your house) where I alternate my work duties as required depending on Mummy having to go to that foreign country that is England and stuff. I have been soooooooo busy having to do barking duties around two gardens and also having to accept belly rubs and back rubs and ear tickles in TWO houses! Sheesh! These hoomans really like us to roll over and get our bellies rubbed, don't we? I reckon the extra belly rubbling duties deserve at least an additional pack of choc drops, don't you?

As usual, there are conditions. In order to maintain my Nice List status, I have to maintain my good behaviour (turns over on her back. Mummy, where are you? Can you rub my tummy please?)

 
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