Cleopatra's Classified Column

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Strutting around in the sunshine with my bare bottom

July 17th 2013 8:06 am
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Yes pupsies - you read that right! It's over 30 degrees here (around 90F for my pals 'cross the 'lantic ocean) and for Ireland that's very warm. Anyway, I've been doing lots of swimming in the lake with the ducksies but Mummy was finding that my skirt, that's the long hair under my tail, was getting very matted and she hasn't been able to comb all the knots out. And I kept getting twigs and grass and stuff stuck in my skirt.

So yesterday evening Mummy cut all my skirt off! That's a big no-no for a Border Collie but I feel strangely liberated. So I have been strutting around and sunning myself with my bare bottom on show for all to see.

When Mummy cut my skirt she asked me to walk around so she could see how I looked. I could hear an audible gasp. Then a strange giggle. I'm sure she was just speechless at how great my new summer look is. And giggling cos I look so cute with my bare butt wiggling in the sunshine. And later I heard her talking to my Nana on the phone and talking about "baldy ass". Whoever he is.

 

RIP Paco XXX

July 8th 2013 9:12 am
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Paco was a beautiful dog who was living with Galway SPCA. They discovered he was suffering from terminal cancer so they set up a special page on Facebook to show everyone how they were making Paco's final days as happy as they could. Poor Paco got really sick over the past couple of days so he had to go to sleep today, and his humans have just told us that he's reached the rainbow bridge safely and is really happy there. RIP sweet boy, Mummy is in tears all afternoon!

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Pacos-Page/54180741918 7961

 

I'm back!

June 4th 2013 4:40 pm
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Yes, pupsies! My Mummy is on holidays this week from that stinky work thing she does so last night I barked and barked and barked and barked and barked at her that she has been neglecting her real job (as my secretary) so she promised me she’d do my dictation tonight. So here I am!

Me and Mummy had the most PAWSOME today today! The weather’s been really bad but the last few days have been really sunny and warm. I woke Mummy up early by fanning her face with my tail. Sometimes she gets grumpy with me when I do that (I don’t understand – I’m just trying to cool her down?) and sometimes when she’s in a good mood she gives me a good rub down – worth taking a chance on anyway! So this morning she must have been in a good mood cos she pulled up the blinds and got all excited cos it was all lovely and sunny. Anyway when she’s working I get banished to the kitchen with the back door open, and when she’s off I have to wait AGES for her to do all her getting’ ready stuff. So I settled myself down while Mummy had her shower expecting a very long wait. But all Mummy did was put some cream on her face and arms and she was packing me into the car! No waitin’ around, sighing, barking or nothin’!

So we went to the BEACH! My favourite place ever! Apart from Nana and Granddad’s. And the lake near us. There’s a beach called Spanish Point that Mummy likes to take me to cos it’s nice and quiet and I can swim and run around and stuff. I had my swim and chased my ball and Mummy found a nice grassy area where she
sat reading her book and I rolled around. Mummy and me both had our water. Then Mummy was hungry so we drove a bit where she got a sandwich for her and some ham for me and then we had a picnic! Just us two girls on our girls’ day out!

Anyway we had snoozes and rolls in the grass and ball chasing and reading and having a staring contest with some cows who arrived to look at us over a fence. Mummy decided we should leave in case I started barking at the cows and packed me into the car. But I was enjoying the staring contest. So we went somewhere else and had more rolling, swimming an’ stuff. Then we went home and sat in our back garden and ate ice cream. Then later we went to my “personal park” which is the grounds of a disused hospital where all the doggies go. Then we called in to say hello to Nana and Granddad on the way home. (I am getting so tired dictating this to Mummy!)

As an aside, Mummy “played” golf yesterday. Trust me, she approaches the ball with the delicacy of a hippo just off a roundabout. I’ve seen her a couple of times taking a swing and I’ve been barking instructions I’ve seen in various golf magazines, etc with advice to keep her eye on the ball. Widen her stance. Keep her left arm straight. The basic stuff. But she just shouts at me to be quiet. Some people just can’t take instruction……………….

 

I am under house arrest or sumfin!

June 2nd 2013 4:07 pm
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My Mummy hasn't been her secretarial duties for me for ages, she says she's too busy. I just sneaked on here to let you know I'm still alive. Just about. SOS!

 

Dis 'nonymus guy!

May 11th 2013 9:34 am
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I got a rosette (or at least my Momma did) from some "'nonymus guy". Does anyone recognise this?

"I r sum 'nonymus guy, spweadin' wuff an' habbiness an' junk tu Mommas all ober dis Dogster-fing!"

Hmmm! It sounds like one doggie I know well. I just can't think right now who it could possibly be! You know that guy who loves haggis an' doin' the highland fling an' stuff? I wish I could remember his name! BOL!

 

The horrible diet food is OVER!

April 6th 2013 5:59 pm
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Pupsies, I am so excited! Mummy has formally declared that the "obesity (Hmmmmmmph!) formula that I was on is formally banned! Ok, I'm still on a diet but I will be getting more normal stuff from now on. Let me explain.

I was doing ok with that nasty food. But in the last few days I was all itchy and irritated. And when Mummy was away in England during the week, my Nana was telling her on the phone that I was all scratchy.Scratch scratch scratch. That was me all week.

So we went to the Vet yesterday. And I had lost NO weight despite eating that yucky food for a month. But last night I was itching and scratching and crying because I was so itchy - Mummy was looking on the internet for stuff to ease my itching. So at 4.30 this morning (I kid you not) she was rubbing baking soda mixed with water into my skin cos neither of us could sleep. Then we settled down and had a good sleepie.

This morning Mummy checked out some antihistamines that are safe for dogs, and gave me half a tablet, She had been looking up some stuff on the internet about dog nutrition and she found out that dogs should have 40% meat, 30% veggies and 30% starch. So she made my own meatloaf with beef, oats, carrots, broccoli and cottage cheese and she made it in the oven. It was yummy!

So now Mummy is going to do a turkey version as well and put my portions in the freezer, then defrost them when she needs them. Proper food at last!

Mummy says that yes, she knows I need to lose a little bit of weight BUT we will do it using normal food and because the weather's better I'll be getting more exercise anyway. So sticking my tail up at my naughty vet making me eat that horrible stuff! BOL!

 

Being STARVED by my family!

April 5th 2013 9:01 am
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Today I am SOOOOOO depressed! Last month, I strained my paw running after my Whippet pal Zeb, so Mummy had to take me to the Vet. Anyway, he gave me stuff to take but also told Mummy that I was TOO FAT and put me on a diet!

Anyway, Mummy, Nana and Granddad were really good (if you could call it being good to reward their lovely, faithful dog with OBESITY - sob! formula)! Yes, I did get 2 Easter eggies but Mummy fed me less on those days and they were only puppy Easter eggies anyway! And OK, they relaxed a little bit for my birthday. But not too much.

So - Mummy was told to bring me back after a month to see how much weight I had lost. She was really excited because we were doing so well. Guess what? I was EXACTLY The same weight! After all my sacrifices! Now the nurse did say that maybe some of my fat has been replaced with muscle. HMMMMMMMMM. I reckon this dog food stuff isn't suitable for my delicate constitution. I WANT CHICKEN! Or a nice fillet of cod or something. Please send me some food! I am literally fading away here! It's just not fair! AND Mummy has left me out in my kennel in the sunshine ALL DAY! SOB!!!!

Oh, thank you all for your lovely messages and pressies for my birthday and diary pick. I think I'll go hunting round the garden now for a worm. Or a spider or something. Just so I don't faint from starvation.

 

My pawsome birthday!

April 1st 2013 12:59 pm
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Not only did I get 2 Easter eggies yesterday, but today is my birthday! When Mummy and me woke up, Mummy gave me some lovely belly rubs and then we went for a walkies in the local park. All my doggie friends were there! Mummy thinks maybe they all persuaded their hoomans to come along and join in the celebrations. My friend Daisy came running over first, followed by her 2 little brothers who are a tiny little yarkie and a teeny jack russell. Then my friend Zeb came over. He's a whippet and I LOVE chasing after him! We all ran around chasing each other and barking. It was such fun! Then another doggie out walking with his Mummy came running over and played with us too. What a pawsome doggy party!

Then we went home and Mummy got changed, and we went over to Nana and Granddad's for dinner. Nana cooked a special chicken fillet just for me and she put gravy on it! Mummy had some lovely bouncy balls for me and a HUGE rawhide for me to chew. Then Nana and Granddad brought me for another walkies and when we got back I got to eat my second Easter eggie from yesterday!

Thank you to Zoe, Angel Whisper, Dixie, Petey, Buddy, Mazy, Angel Sassy Foxie, Angel Baby, Prescous and Luna for your pawsome gifts! And a big happy birthday to little puppy Buddy on his FIRST birthday! Yippee! And a special thanks to Coco and Puffy for my lovely golden heart!!!!

I'm getting to stay with Nana and Granddad for 3 nights cos Mummy's off to England tomorrow. Fun all the way! BOL!

Love Cleo XXX

 

I got TWO Easter Eggies!

March 31st 2013 2:32 pm
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Pupsie pals, I have had the most fantastic Easter Sunday! Mummy brought me out walking in the rain this morning (I love the rain!) then we went to Nana and Granddad's. My hoomans gave each other Easter eggs then Mummy and Nana BOTH gave me special pawsome doggie Easter eggs just for me! And because it's my birthday tomorrow, Nana also gave me an early birthday present - a squeaky boot!

Thank you all for your Easter gifts, I'm off to send some back to my pawsome pals! And I'm going to post a pic of my Easter eggs for you to see!

Love Cleo XXX

 

Great Irish music!

March 18th 2013 5:40 pm
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Mummy says if you want to experience real, authentic Irish music there is nobody better to listen to than Davy Spillane who plays the Uileann Pipes! This is pawsome - http://youtu.be/Mc7LT8vLsGs

 
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