July 29th 2012 4:14 pm
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Well pupsters, as many of you will know, Ireland is a mystical land full of music, poetry and song. Our little country’s national Day, St Patrick’s Day, is celebrated throughout the world. We all know that the country’s swarming with leprechauns, those charming little people of Irish legend. And you can’t walk for more than a few feet without meeting a cheery little fairy or a goblin or sumfin. And the peoples here have a wonderful life. They sit around all day drinkin whiskey, telling stories and growing cabbages. Only last week, I was walking through a field when I met a druid who
CLEO! What is that rubbish that you are writing in your diary? What do you mean Mummy? You know full well Cleo that this stuff is only myth. Made up for tourists.
Well YES, Mummy. YOU know that. And I know that. But Cleo’s Escorted Irish Tours™ is taking bookings right now. Our Mystical Meanderings™ tour will show the tourists all that is synonymous with Ireland. I have a whole itinerary done out an’ all:
Day 1: Coach transfer from the airport to Molly O’Moore’s pub, where we will partake in light refreshments of poitin and cabbage soup. From there, we will proceed to a real fairy fort (currently under construction) where I have organized a fairy egg hunting contest. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.
Day 2: Trip to Blarney where we will all kiss the Blarney Stone, which imparts the magical gift of eloquence to all who kiss it. Followed by a meeting with a real druid, where we will perform incantations and ritual dancing around a four leaved clover, while holding our shillelaghs in the air. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.
Day 3: A personal audience with St Patrick himself. I intend to ask him to reverse his ban on snakes in Ireland cos I have nothing interesting to bark at. I believe Bono will also be making an appearance on a nearby cloud. Followed by a trip to the Guinness brewery. Back to our beautifully appointed accommodation where dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing.
Day 4: A special reception co-hosted by Leabhras O’Muirihurteagh, king of the leprechauns, and Concepta Ni Flootachain, a goblin princess. Here we will partake in general merriment and shenanigans. Transport to the airport where each member of the group will be presented with a genuine pot of gold and a signed, framed photograph of the noted Irish author, Cleopatra Ni Chomhaltain.
Hmmmm. That’s sure a lot of cabbage. And what is this “beautifully appointed accommodation” you keep mentioning? Don’t worry Mummy. I was planting cabbage seeds outside earlier. You didn’t really need those dahlias and roses and other smelly flowers out there. As for the accommodation, I’ll need you to move the bed out of the spare bedroom to make more space. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m tired. Good thing I went offline before we had this conversation. I’ll tell the pupsters my druid story tomorrow.
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BOLBOLBOL :D Dis r GWATE, Cleo!! I can nod wate until da wecepshun wif da king ob da weppwechauns an' da gobwin pwincess!! Shenanigans r my middle name, 'sides Webi, ob corse :D
Yur Mummy r wite, doe. Dat *R* a wotta cabbage :D An' whut da hek r a dwuid???
Oh Zaidie! How did you see all of that? I thought I was offline! (Mummy, take down the Cleo’s Escorted Irish Tours™ website straight away!!). Em, Zaidie - a druid is an ancient Celtic priest or shaman, they wear long robes and do incantations and mutterings and dancin and stuff. The particular druid I have lined up has won the world championship of mutterin' and stutterin' and incantin' for the past three years. So the clover dancin' and shillelagh shaking should be quite educational, I think you'll find.
Sign me and Momma up for the tour!. How many bones will it cost us?
Fizzy, payment will be gratefully received in choc drops. And a belly rub from your Momma! X
"dinner will consist of Bacon and Cabbage followed by a night of traditional music and dancing" - and tootin
Sign me up too! I thought you had taters in Irelandia. I can bring sum if you don't have nun. Famous tater are grown here in Idunno.
Wow Cleo Missy and I would love to book a tour. Mommy will have to come too.
Mummy! Have you cleared out that back bedroom yet? We have 5,527 dogs and 1915 pawrents signed up so far! Zoe, thanks for the offer but we have spuds growing everywhere, some of the goblins even grow them in their ears! Bacon & cabbage is always served with spuds! BOL!
Cleo what a clever pup you are! I'll sign up, too!
Sign us up, Cleo! Mommy and daddy have visited Ireland, but nevfur met a single leprechaun! Or even a married one, BOL!!!!