My birthday, and my fluffygay brother's birthday is this weekend. We are going to have a little party, yeah, a party. I think I am going to take all of the presents and hide them. Yeah, that will be fun. I will hide them, and guard them, and protect them.
Yeah, that is what I will do.
We are going to Aunt Laura's for the celebration, so I will have to case the joint before I hide anything. I want to make sure that curlyfuzzy white thing, my cousin Carolina, doesn't have access to any of my hiding spots. We all know what will happen to her if she sticks her little nose in my hiding spots. Yeah, we all know.
I am making a ton of noise tonight. My mom is about to kill me. I am being as annoying as possible, in anticipation of the squirrel hour. This time of year, it happens.
The squirrels invade my yard- the squirrels that look oddly like ME. They MUST be mine, they must be. They came from the little satchmopods I dropped out by my bush, in my outside cave. Each night, my mom lets me outside for my final inspection of the evening, and I see the squirrels everywhere. They are talking to me, but no one else can hear them. I know my Dad thinks I am crazy, I just know it, yeah.
Tonight, I will circle the yard, make sure it is ok for Mom and Dad and furrygay brother to make sleep for the night, and I will try to herd all the little satchmo's into my lair. I know I will be yelled at by my Dad though, so I won't get too much work accomplished, but I will still try.
For now, I will prepare by woofing under my breath and them, and nose whistling and whining and snorting and sniffing the air, searching for their traces. I will wait patiently and talk to them from inside the house,
waiting...
watching...

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