A Whole Week of Torture

Do you know what my Mom got me for my birthday? She sent me to boot camp. Well, she didn't exactly send me, she invited in a Drill Sargent with her backup posse. I think Mom had some misguided notion that I would be "whipped into shape" while she lounged on the beach drinking lemon slushies. But I showed her. The first thing I did was enchant the male member of the backup posse so that there were now three out of the household of five that understood that I was to be pampered and adored. Of course, big brothers don't really count, but they can be useful to have around.

It sortof helped. I certainly got a ton of spit baths out of it, and they were very stress relieving. Plus it was really helpful to have a boy around who could take a few hard knocks. I did enjoy the play sessions, but the rules I had to live with! I tell you, it was horrid and incredibly restrictive.

Rule #1: No Pouncing.
Rule #2: No Condiments with Dinner
Rule #3: No excessive kissing.
Rule #4: Walk nicely on the leash
Rule #5: No Pouncing!

I mean really! NO CONDIMENTS WITH DINNER? I felt I had fallen into some B Horror movie, and at any moment the Hill Science Diet truck would arrive with my dinner. *shudder* Thank goodness Mom came home when she did. I was beginning to get a bit frazzled trying to cope with that double no pouncing rule.

Good Friday? I think NOT.

Okay, so yesterday I was a bit on the naughty side. The fact is, I don't like Mommie to leave the house without me. Which, may I add, she does on a regular basis. I know Mommie is trying to loose weight - she talks about it all the time. When she left me yesterday, I was really only trying to help her by removing the grocery bag that contained the jelly beans off the table. Can I help it if my nature was to rip open the grocery bag, and then the bag of very tasty jelly beans that was inside? Can I help it if she thought I didn't know about them, and left them on the table. I mean, HELLO! Talk about leaving an engraved invitation lying around. But that was yesterday.

Today, Mommie woke up really early (for her anyway) and my morning session of adoration was interrupted with the following exclamation: "Oh My God! DAWSON!" She bounded out of bed, hurried my breakfast and my morning constitutional, and then.... SHE PUT DAWSON IN THE CAR AND LEFT ME AT HOME!

Without even a bag of jelly beans to help assuage my feelings of hurt and insecurity.

My First Road Trip

Yesterday started normally. I pounced on Mom to wake her up so she would take me outside, and she rolled over with a mumble. I snuggled a bit and then hopped down to the floor and DEMANDED my breakfast. That sharp bark is enough to get Mom moving. Then, while Mom drank her coffee she hogged the computer and wouldn't let me access my favorite pages, so I snoozed. I heard keys frantically clicking but I dozed through it all.

Something sure lit a fire under Mom's Butt! She bounded off the couch and left. Yep, SHE LEFT ME. When she came home smelling of fluoride I was glad she hadn't taken me with her. This is when things got weird. She loaded the dog crates into the back of the car! Dawson was running around all excited, but I had no idea what was going on. When we went to Obedience class, she STUFFED me in the crate. I wasn't too sure about that, but nothing bad happened. Dawson was beside himself because as usual, we left him at home while I spend an hour conning treats from the poor slob trying to teach Mom and G'ma how to rule the roost. John, Buddy and I are Poodles. We rule the roost. There isn't any amount of training you can do that is going to change that one simple fact.

When we got back home, Mom had the zoomies! She stuffed food, clothes, and other essentials in bags, threw them all in the car, and then stuffed me back in the crate and Dawson into the other one. We were held captive for HOURS! Okay, only two actuallyy, and when we finally were released to go pee, whom did we encounter but Mimi, Molly, and Aunt Alyssa! I spent the next few hours wandering around being admired, petted, treated, and generally showing off my gorgeous self. I rocked that exposition hall. I owned it.

Then we all piled back into the cars, and I spent more time jammed in that crate. Now here is an interesting thing: There are really large houses that allow strange people and dogs to snuggle for the night. Odd, isn't it? Of course when the Moms left for dinner, I had to torment Mimi. I had to bark at the loud people in the hallway. It's my job, right? So why did Mom tell me people complained that I was too loud? And who knew Auntie Alyssa was such fun at night! Evertime she moved or made a noise, I had to go over and let her know I was willing to play!

Now, this is where things went bad. I got stuffed back into the crate early in the morning, and while Mom went back to the Expo, I sat in the car. And sat in the car. And sat in the car... We finally got moving, and what was my job for the next five hours? Sit in the crate in the car. Why on earth we stopped in the middle of nowhere, turned off the car, and sat quietly for and hour and a half I haven't the foggiest. Everyone was, so I guess it was some dumb human ritual to honor the snowfall. Oh well, even with the long trip home, I had a grand time. When's the next Road Trip, Mom?

Enough Said.

Mom dragged me into that little room where she tries to drown herself, and tried to drown me.

Public Service Annouuncement

I want to let every pup know that it is very very important to let your humans know they are loved. I have heard from Dawson that there are some humans who risk life and limb EVERY SINGLE DAY by standing under running water for minutes at a time. Do your pawrents do this? Attempt to drown themselves? I know it is only my concern for my Mommie that has her turning off the water and stepping out of the enclosure. I make sure I jump on her immediately to give her kisses and hugs - after all she was in there forever without me! AND SHE COULD HAVE DROWNED! Please, let your pawrents know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you care. Don't wait for them to dry off before you cover them with kisses! GO IMMEDIATELY!

And I don't even want to talk about what happened the other day. It was sooo scary. Mom filled a huge basin full of water - only this water bubbled. It frothed. It STANK! To my utter horror and amazement she then CRAWLED INTO THE WATER and stayed there forever! She was covered in froth, and when she stuck her toes out for me to nibble upon, they were covered in froth too! If they weren't, they tasted funny. Dawson didn't do anything - just lay there snoozing. When Mommie called him over, he went right up to her and got kisses and hugs. BUT HE ALSO GOT FROTH ON HIM! Well I checked that froth out pretty seriously, and it seemed harmless, but it stank and it cackled. Let me just tell you, I was all over Mommie when she finally decided not to let the strange froth dissolve her away to nothing.

Hug your pawrents. Protect them from the evils of close association with water...

Dressing Up for the Hollidays

I'm young, and I don't want to violate any dog codes, so please let me know if I have stepped over the line. The truth of the matter is that except for the reindeer costume, that was too small, I didn't mind being dressed up. I loved my Santa costume, although it was a bit hot to be pouncing in. I thought I looked sharp and sassy - both good things, right? Dawson tells me it's okay to wear clothes because it makes Mom Happy, but I didn't see him getting stuffed into anything. I had to wear FOUR costumes in one night. Dawson just lay there and smirked. Tell me, is it okay for a girl to love dress up? Or should I secretly go and nab the costumes and tear them to shreds.

But didn't I look adorable as a wee gingerbread girl?

19 pounds of Pooditude

Let me get one thing clear. I chose Mom for one reason and one reason only - she gives excellent belly rub. Now maybe some of you may think this is not the only item for consideration when selecting a family, but let me tell you - if a human gives a good rubbin' then the "spoil the dog" factor is high as well. What more could a canine want? Okay, so maybe I was a bit off, because if I knew there would be so many rules, I may have held out for a different owner.

No counter surfing. How is a growing girl supposed to eat if she can't counter surf?

No pouncing on Dawson's head when we are out walking. BUT it's a moving target and I need to practice!

No getting Isis over excited. Icy is my pal who I see most mornings on our constitutional. She's a black lab and a bit excitable, but I love her anyway.

No chewing on power cords. Excuse me! How ELSE am I supposed to get your attention? It works every time. Find me another reliable way and I'll use it.

No eating dirt. All puppies eat dirt. It's good for us. You should try it.

No eating grass. In all the years you have had Dawson, he still eats grass. He started it. Get him to stop first.

No eating off your plate. Can I help it if you don't eat fast enough? Remember, growing poodle here. I NEED my people food to grow big and strong and sweet.

Ah well, I suppose my forever home selection could have gone worse. I might have ended up living with Buddy - which let me tell you I could do without. Can you believe he actually thinks he is cuter than I am? As IF.

Day One - Life is gonna be sweet.

Editor here. Please forgive my intrusion, but Ginger is sleeping right now and can't type for herself. It's been a rather exhausting day for her. She was up early with all of her 9 siblings (5 brothers and 4 sisters) and prepared for the opportunity to find her forever home. I'm sure she bore the bath like a trooper, and she certainly looked happy romping around in the xpen in the living room.

I was family number three to enter into the pen of poodle puppies and have a full hour to select which one of the remaining seven would come home with me. I had an open mind for sure, but her sister, an adorable cream girl, pounced on me set to steal my heart away. And her other sister, pushed the cream one out of the way to make her move. And her other sister sat there an whined because I was ignoring her. Ginger knew they didn't have the staying power needed, and bided her time. Even as I reach over to pick up her brothers... she just came up next to me, rolled over and presented the belly. Some one had obviously told her I cannot resist a belly presented and while her brothers squirmed away she lay next to me getting a nice soft rub.

Odd, isn't it? Only one of her three brothers (who also liked belly rubs) paid any attention to me but it was only to be polite. It was the four girls who were crazy to get my attention. One after the other - ME ME ME ME ME.... until after about 40 minutes only her and one sister were left in the running. The clincher? The breeder had to make some coffee and ran the coffee grinder. Her sister freaked. She licked my ear and wagged her tail. So we went outside, Her, Crooked Teeth, and I (with Mom and the breeder tagging along) and explored outside. Back and forth I went - this one, no that one, no this one... until I thought I may have to take them both home. So I held Crooked Teeth in my right arm, and the Unnamed One in my left, and the breeder started talking. "That one has a real sense of humor (pointing to crooked teeth). The other one... rather middle of the road." Except Ol' Middle of the Road Girl was climbing up my shoulder, snugging into my neck and snuffling my ear. Snooooof.... Snooof.... Snooooof... lick... nibble... Snoooof. Do you have any idea how loud a puppy sounds when it places it nose right up into your ear and snuffles?

On the ride home, Mom held her while I drove. When we visited the puppies about 6 weeks ago, Mom and I had stopped at a Mom & Pop grocery store and bought some candied ginger - and since we had eaten it all I wanted to get some more. They had home made Ginger Snaps too (one of my favorite cookies) and while I had clearly intended to let her tell me her name in her own sweet time, when I handed my Mom a Ginger Snap, I looked at her and my mind said "Ginger." So I thought "Ginger is a better use name than McNugget... I'll stick with that for now... and then I realized that for now was probably gonna last 16 years or so.

As we started back home, Mom looked at me and said "She whined when you when inside." Huh? I've known this dog one hour, she's spent as much time in Mom's lap as mine and she whined? Right. When we stopped at the drive through to get a sandwich, and were sitting in the car eating them, guess who whined. "Oh, she has to go outside." So I picked her up, took her out to the grass and she stood there between my legs checking out the world. I was hungry, so she and I went back into the car and she sat on my lap as I ate my sandwich.

Now my Mom is good with dogs - they adore her. But the only one Ginger wanted was me. We visited my sister - Ginger tagged along behind me - even when I went back to the car to get the camera. Mom was there. Sister was there. Both ready to love her to death and she decides she can't exist without me. The lap she wanted - mine. We visited neighbors and they all commented on how she wouldn't leave my side. Short explorations were no problems. Short snuggles were not a problem but she wanted to be near me. So tell me, who picked who this morning?