April 17th 2012 1:45 pm
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Da Awrt Of Da Foo-Foo!
Bailey was kind enough to ask me to wite an awticol foh da gwoup, wegawding my vast expoteese on gibbing Faboowus Foo-Foo’s to da Furs on Dogstowe. Whiowle it wud be impossibowl foh me to cubbowe such a vast topic in one wittowl awticowl, I weowl at weast attempt to cubbowe da Foo-Foo Basics foh yew. Ebweeting I hab wurned bout da Foo-Foo, I hab wurned fwom my Foo-Foo’ing Momma.
When it comes to da Foo, dere awre two camps: da Foo-Foo’ewrs, and da Foo-Foo’ees! I much waddowe be a Foo’ewr, cuz I weally NOT so happy wen my Momma Foo-Foo’s me. Humpf! I go awong wif it, but it’s not my fabowite ting to hab dun to me. So, da moh time I spend gibbing Foo-Foos to uddowe Fuwrs --- da WESS time I hab to weeceeve a Foo-Foo fwom my momma. See? I got a pwan!
To be cwear, I am not just a “pet gwoomowe”! I am a “Foo-Foo Awteeste”!
Yew cant wush awrt! I guess my Momma an Awteeste too, cuz beeweeve me, she takes a WONG WONG time to do my Foo-Foo’s! As a Foo-Foo Awteeste, yewr numbowe one tool is yewr Cweatibity! Dunt wowwee bout wat da cwient wants cuz most wikewee wat dey weewee want is just to get away fwom yew and WUN home! BOL!
Ok, so heowe awre da basic steps to gibbing a Fabuwus Foo-Foo Sawwon Servis:
Fuwrst, find a pawfect victim, errr. I mean Foo-Foo Cwient! Usuawee, da easiest cwients to get, awre da unsuspecting ones, who awre just wying awound, minding dewre own wittowl bizzniss when yew NAB dem! Sometimes, yew’ll hab willing cwients:
AL's Foo Foo
But mohr dan wikewee, yew’ll hab Fuwrs da need some convincing! Case in point, Ciao-Li, a kool boy kittykat at Miss Cwissy’s Wittowl Wed Skool Haus. Wet’s just say dat Ciao-Li was not vewy weowling in da beginning – orh at any time thwewout da Foo-Foo pwocess, actuawee as I weecawl. BOL!
Ciao-Li has some reservations about getting a Foo-Foo
But as a Foo-Foo Pwofesshunawl, yew must wurn to just ignowe dere cwies, uhm, I mean…yew must wurn to be sensatib to dere feeowlings and simpwee twy to persuade yewr cwients dat a Foo-Foo is a vewy vewy good ting! (thumbs up) At weast dats wat my Foo-Foo’ing Momma tewls me ebweetime I twy to wun away fwom her Foos! It’s veowee impowtant to hab wots of tweats and dwinks and food foh yewr cwient. A fuwl tummy weads to a happy and sweepee Fuwr, and dat a good ting. Da sweepiowe dey awre, da wess wikewee dey can wun away! Mood Wighting (aka dim wighting) is good too – yew dunt weewee want da Fuwr Cwient to see awl da bottowls and bottowls and bottowls of stuffs yewr gonna use on dem cuz dey weowl get scayowed, bol, so tuwn down dose wights! Twy to keep yewr Fuwr cwient as comfy as possibowl Gib dem a nice wong book to weed. I tink Bailey once gabe one of my cwients “War & Peace” to wead, but da cwient actuawwee finished it halfway thwew da Foo-Foo! BOL
Da Awt of da Cweansing Shampoo:
Dis is an impowtant step! Make shuwe yew always hab enuff bubbowls in da tub! Use at weast 1 bottowl of shampoo per cwient, eben if he weewee tiny (biggowe fuwrs or wen Foo’ing multiple fuwrs at once, might need 2 bottowls)…yew can nebbowe hab enuf suds! Thwow in a few baf toys into da tub, to keep yewr cwient occupied. ORH, just put some coocumbowe swices ovoh dere eyebawls as a Spa Tweatment. As yew can see in dis pictchowe, some pups wike cutie pie Dizzy, WUV da Foo. Wheoweas oddowe pups wike Hawley…uhm, not so much! BOL!
Dizzy and Hawley Hab Diffwent Views of da Foo-Foo!
Just keep in mind dat some wittowl piggwet-hungwee Fuwrs might EAT da coocumbowes, instead! BOL! So hab WOTS of coocumbowe swices availabowl Now, dis shampoo is NOT to be confoosed wif da Colowe Shampoo Phase…dat comes wayter, …about an houwr or so wayter! Weemembowe, yew cannot wush da Foo! Humpf! It takes time….. Dis fuwrst shampoo phase is just to cwean da cwient. Weeve da cwient soaking in da tub for a wittowl bit -- about an houwr or two. But twy not to weave dem in wongowe dan dat, orh DIS might happen eben to a fuwr who had WOTS of haeowe going in!:
Caspowe Soaked a Wittowl Bit TOO Wong! OMD!
Yeah, uhm, errr…so dat was not so good.
I fowgot awl bout wittowl Aussie cutie pie Caspowe, and weft him in da tub obowenight! In my defense, we wer at Summowe Camp and weowl…tings happen…humpf! Da good news is dat it’s ony fuwr…it’ll gwow back. In time….. Pwease, dunt foweget to winse weowl!
Afto da cweansing baf, some fuwrs may need a Coloweing Shampoo Tweatment!
Da Wule foh Colowe is dat fuwrst yew put da colowe in, den yew mite hab to take some of da colowe out,… befowe yew put some moh of anuddowe colowe back in! Hewe yew can see wittowl cutie pie Bwack & White Shih Tzu “AL” duwing his Highwiting Tweetment Soak.
Highlights means yew got to take da colowe OUT! humpf!
Uhm, wet’s just say dat AL needed a WOT of colowe put back IN, afto dis pwocess.
AL Gibs a NEW Meaning to "Snow White"! BOL!
Yeah, so, uhm ….moving on…!
Den dere awre sometimes wen yew might hab to do wat we cawl a “Colowe Cowwectshun” – which is wat yew need to do wen yew put da WRONG colowe in and out and in again! BOL I find I hab quite a bit of dese to do foh some weason…hmmmm….
Oooops LP! I Dint Know Dat Was Bwack Shampoo! BOL
Da point is…colowe takes time, so dunt wet da cwient wush da pwocess! Weemembowe, YEW da Awteeste!
IF yewr cwient gets fidgetee, weowl, just gib dem some moh snackies and dwinks. Humpf! Colowe can take a Fuwr fwom owdinawwee, to extwhoadanawee! Case in point, WOOK at cutie pie Pepe’s befowe and afto!
Aussie cutie pie Pepe (Caspowe’s bwuddowe) was in a wock band, but his wook dint match da image he needed to powtway. Shuwe….he was cute and white and fwuffy, but he needed some PISAZZZZZ! But aftoh my Foo-Foo? He wooked wike a piszazzee fabuwus Wock Stawr! Ok, so I pwobabwee cud hab weft off da TopKnot Bow…but I a Shih Tzu, it’s engwained in me, no mattowe wat bweed I wowk on!
Wock On, Pepe!
He eben pwocwaimed his new Do, da “Technakolowe Dweam Dog Coat”! BOL! He took wat might hab gibben oddowe Fuwrs a scayowe, and tuwned it instead into a GWEAT wock stawr caweeowe! He went on a Wock Consewrt Tour wif his band, awl obowe his native Austwailia! See? Any Foo-Foo disastowe can be tuwned into a miwacowl, if yew just keep an open mind. Humpf Winse weowl!
Afto da colowe pwocess is finished, it’s time do a Pwoteen Deep Conditioning Tweatment. Dis gonna weepayowe any damaged coat aweas and add volume and stwength to da haeowe stwands. We always stawt wif dis type of condishonowe tweatment. I wike to wet da cwient soak forh about an houwr or two. Gib dem moh tweats and dwinks and pwop some coocumbowes on dere eyes again to make dem weewax a bit. At summowe camp, I had to FOO-FOO da fuwrs in da fishing pond…..dat dint wowk out so weowl forh da fishies, so I wunt wecommend it. Twy to awlways Foo-Foo in an appwopweeit Spa Tub. Yew can put a nice comfy piwwow in dere so yewr cwient can weewax whiole da condishunowe wowking. Winse weowl.
Da next step is yew need to do a Moistuwizing Condishunowe!
Dis NOT da same as da Pwoteen Tweatment, so dunt wet yew cwient pwotest too much. Humpf! If yew dunt do dis step, da haeowe gonna be too bwittowl and dwie! So, use a vewy deep moistuwizing pwoduct to put da moistuwe back in da haeowe. Appwie da moistuwizing condishunowe and weeve it on da cwient foh anuddowe hour orh so. Winse weowl!
At dis point, yewr victim, uhm…CWIENT, might twy to escape..so be pweepayowed!
First, dey twye dis:
AL, Twying to Hide by Bwending in Wif Da Squeakie Toys! BOL!
Den…..dey twy DIS! BOL!:
Yew Shuwe Do WUN Fast, AL! Get Back Heowe! humpf!
WUN aftoh yewr cwient and bwing dem back to da tub. Gib MOH tweats and MOH dwinks and MOH coocumbowes! Being a weewucktent Foo-Foo’ee myself, I know AWL da twicks of how to twy to escape da Foo, so none of my cwients can evoh puwl dat one on me! Humpf! BOL Expwain how good da Foo-Foo is foh dem and say how sowwee yew awre dat dey not so happy, but dat da Foo is foh dere own good (just wike yewr Momma tewls yew!). If awl ewlse fails, tewl dem dat if dey stay out of da tub foh too wong, yew’ll need to stawt da entiowe Foo-Foo ovowe, fwom da beginning! Humpf! Dat usuawee gets da Fuwr to compwie vewwee quickwee! bol
Afto da Moistuwizing Condishunowe, yew do da Hot Oil Tweatment. Dis gonna seal da moistuwe IN. Appwie a few viowls of pwoduct onta da haeowe. Massage it in. Wap dere bodies in a BIG fwuffy towel, and wet dem weewax foh bout…an hour or two. Winse weowl! Yew can eben gib dem a Faciawl Tweetment and Massage while dey wait foh da Hot Oil Tweetment to soak in.
Dizzy -- Weelaxing and Enjoying His Foo-Foo!
da next step is da DWYEING!
Now, dere are WOTS of diffwent ways to do dis. Sometimes I use a haeowe dwyowe, but den one time I hung cutie pie Hawley on a cwothes wine to dwy in da sun cuz I was gibbing a “Gween Eawth-Fwiendwee” type of Foo-Foo. Pwus, he said he taught bwowe dwyowes were TOO shi-shi-foo-foo-girly-girly. He taught dwying in Natuwe wud be moh manwee…. …yeah, dat din’t go so weowl. BOL
Fowget Twying to Go Gween! Use a wegolowe haeowe dwyewr instead!
So always twy to go wif da good ole haeowe dyowe mefod! bol. Afto da dwying, yewr cwient most wikewee is so exhausted dat dey awre now sweeping foh da weemaindowe of da Foo-Foo, and pwobabwee into da entiowe week! BOL! A sweepy cwient is da BEST cwient!
Afto da haeowe dwying, comes da Haeowe Stylewing
LP, Stylin' in Curlowes
Be cweatib! Don’t wet da Fuwr’s bweed, or eben dere species, wimit yewr deezign vision! Dis VEWY impotant! Dewre awre Poodowle Gwooming Competishuns, wheowe da pup ends up wooking wike a tuwtowl, orh a camowl, orh a buffawowe! And dey WIN wots of pwizes foh da MOST cweatif weesuwlt! So…wet yewr imaginashun wun fwee! (dancing snoopies). Twy to envishun wat type of animawl yew’d wike yewr cwient to wook wike. Use dere personawitee as inspuwashun, but in da end…YEW deecide dere fate….uhm, I mean, dere Foo-Foo end weesuwlt! In my Foo Foo Spa, pups come in, and weave as kitties sometimes! BOL! Fow exampowl, wittowl cutie pie Dizzy, on his wast appointment, got something VEWY GRRRRREAT! Bol Bailey said I was cweatib, and Dizzy said he wanted something “wild” since we were awl at Summowe Skool Camp, so I gabe him a WION CUT! Weemembowe, if dere’s not enuff haeowe dere natuwally to bwing yewr deezine to wife, haeowe extenshuns awre yewr fwend! BOL! Vernie, my Sistant, cowwabowated wif me on dis Foo-Foo at Summowe Camp.
Dizzy Gets a Lion Cut
But most of da time I keep my stylwing deezine vision in da same species as my cwient, dtho warewee as da same bweed! Alabastowe (aka AL) is a cutie pie wittowl bwack and white Shih Tzu. Ohr, at weast he was unteel I gabe him a wittowl too much Foo-Foo Volumizing Mist! Furdowemowe, I steel had not purrfected my cutting technique yet! Dere is a wurning curb, yew know! Humpf!
AL -- Shih Tzu to Peke? OMD
BOL Orh at da vewy weast, an old cwient weowl always weeve my Sawon as a MUCH youngowe vewshun of demselbs. Fowe sampowl, a male yorkie once came in and ended up weeving as a wittowl cutie pie girly girl pup: See? One’s Foo-Foo Cweatibitee can be da gift of da Founten of Youf! Always make shuwe to use extweeme caushun wen using any sheawes to cut da haeowe. I ony use wrounded point ones, so I nevoh huwt my vewy squiglee squrwmee cwients.
Da Awt of da Topknot & da Awt of da Fwaygwance Spway, are da wast wittowl steps of da Foo-Foo! Always hab WOTS and WOTS and WOTS of pwitty haeowe bows in yewr Foo-Foo cowwectshun! Dunt wowwee if yewr cwient is of a species, orh a bweed, dat dunt usuawee hab a topknot! Again, yewr ownwee wimited by yewr cweatibitee, so CWEATE anyting yew want on any fuwr yew wike! If da fuwr has weawwee showt haeowe, dunt wowwee….deres always haeowe extenshuns! BOL! Da possibiwities awre wimitwess! And dunt wet da boy fuwrs twy to tewl yew dat dey don’t weowe topknots! Bwah bwah bwah! Humpf! ….WOOK! Da boys awlways come out wooking SO cute! BOL! Dunt fowget to SPWITZ spwitz SpWiTz some Eau de Foo-Foo befowe yew finish da Fur!
AL and his Fwend Get Foo-Foo'd! BOL
See? I took ages off of wittowl AL, and eben his yucky wizard wooks CUTE now aftoh da Foo!! BOL! He eben smewled good! BOL!
Sometimes da Foo-Foo can be used as a rewawd to good pups and kitties. And den dere awre times yew can use da Power of da Foo-Foo to teach naughty pups and kitties a wittowl wesson. Case in point: as I weecawl…wittowl Ciao-Li, da handsome male kittykat in my cwass at skool, made a smawty pants comment bout my momma’s Foo-Foos dat she did to some fuwrs in my cwass. Weowl….dat dint end up so good for Ciao Li, but it was good forh me! BOL! He actuawee weft my Foo-Foo Spa as a wittowl cutie pie, girly gurl PINK tinted kitten! BOL! Ciao_li nevoh made anuddowe cwiticawl comment afto dat. BOL! So, nevoh be afwaid to expeeweement wif da poweowe of da Colowe Foo-Foo!
Ciao Li -- Pwitty In Pink BOL
What yew cweate foh yewr cwient awl depends on da day and da mood and weewwee on wat suppwies yew hab in yewr Foo-Foo Suppwie Cwoset! Da point is….BE CWEATIF! And hab FUN (cuz da twuth is most of yewr cwients NOT gonna be habbing much fun at awl, so yew at weast hab to!).
Finawwee, IF yew evoh hab an unhappy cwient, dunt wowwee!
Dewre’s an easy fix!
Simpwee tewl yewr cwient dat if dey NOT 100% happy wif dere Foo-Foo, yew’d be moh dan gwad to we-doo da whole, entiowe, 12 – 16 houwr Foo-Foo pwocess awl obowe again foh dem, no pwobwem! BOL! I guawantee yewr cwient gonna stawt shouting dat “Oh! Dat’s OK! I WUV my Foo-Foo! No pwobwem! No need forh a Wee-Doo-Foo-Foo! I’m good! YUP..it’s da BEST Foo-Foo I evoh got! Tanks a miwwion! See yew waytowe! Tanks a wot! Yew did gweat!....” – and dey’ll say dis awl as dey’re WUNNING away as fast as dere wittowl cute wegs can take dem! BOL!
See? Da Awte of da Foo-Foo Technique weowl always pwoduce a happy fuwr cwient! Gahwonteed!
~Sedona, da Mastowe Foo-Foo’er to da Dogstowe Fuwrs!
***note from typist: uhm? Let us all please remember to never, ever, everrrrrrr do any of these so-called Foo-Foo processes as directed here by Sedona…to any Fur…or any other living creature for that matter!! Never….EVER! LoL. Seriously…DON’T! lol ***
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