Guess what I's gots!!!

My Paw-paw brunged me a special surprise yesserday! He showed up wif a bag & said, "I brought something for Ursula (he calls by me middle name) & the Long One (that Ceel, BOL!)" I almos hyper-ventilated from the 'escitement! He pulled out a giant meaty bone!!!! He told Mommy it was wild oink-beast. These beasts roam wild on da ranch & Paw-paw caught one & roasted it & saved Ceel & me da leg!!!! Mommy promised to break it in half & 'llow us to gnaw on it tonight! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....I's can hardly waits! Oh...and don't ask if you's can comes over cause da answer are NOOOOO!!!!! Sorry pals but ya'lls knows I's sharing impaired and sharing are bad for me health!

P.S.- In unnder news...Skeeter (also known as Pesky Squito when he swats me wagger) are gettin' neutered tomarrow. He don't knows it, but he ares!

BAD COMPANY

Well dern!!! Pups, Ceel & me has family stayin' wif us and I's for one thinks it are times for thems to goes home! You see, yesserday, Mommy went to eat 'Kissmas dinner at my Auntie Letty's house. Instead of bringin' me back a doggie bag like I's 'spectin', she brought back Ceel's 2 'brudders! Dern it, dern it...sure 'nuffs, soons they 'inners da house theys heads straight for me treat vault! I's had to stand gaurd & show em' me teeth several times as a warning! Mommy made me share some treats wif em' and I's almos' died...I's tell you I's ALMOS' DIED!!!!!!

It are 'ficial now...

...Nuisance are now a 'pawmnent resident of our pack. Ceel, me & our purr pack had given her amnesty after the dogs in her utter home killed her utter kitten. You see, Nuisance gave birth to Skeeter & unudder kitten but her humans didn't provide a safe place for her and her babies. Nuisy kept climbing the fence into our yard. Ceel, guarded the fence and 'deported her back to her yard several times. One day, Mommy heard Nuisy meowing. She found sittin' in da middle of our patio jus meowing. Nuisance had once again smuggled her kit & herself into our yard. Mommy felt sorry for her cause it seem like Nuisance was begging for help. She 'cited not to call da neighbors anymore cause they obviously didn't seem to care 'bout they's cat. She got a box, put a pillow in it and an old soft blankie and headed toward a safe spot by our garage. Anywho, Nuisy loved her box! (I's don't think she ever had any kind of bed befores.) She been living heres full time now and hasn't goned back to her previous home.

Anywho, after careful considerations, we's 'cited that Nuisance can stay. In fact, last Saturday she became 'ficial cause Mommy tooked her to get spayed. Yeppers, Mommy will not keep a pup or purr unless it are fixed! Skeeter, 'da mosquiter' (BOL! Thanks for that one Jack!), are next!

My Mornin'

What a mornin' I's had pups! I's gonna tell ya 'bout it in true Zoe style.
'Firs, Mommy yelled in me face & tol me to woked up! Den she throwed me in da car and droved me to the vet's. Dere, she dragged me outta da car & shoved me into the vet's office. Da vet tech janked the stitchys outta me eyes! After dat, Mommy throwed me back inna car droved me to a mobile clinic for me annual stabbings. Mommy had me in a headlock as she 'llowed unner tech to stab me with a Texas-size rod in both me tushy cheeks!

I's tells you, Ebony Ursula are one tough doggie-biscuit, cause somehow I's managed to survive my ordeals!

I Seened it With Me Own Beady Eyes!

Yeppers, Ceel has taken a liking to Neighbor Kitty's baby! She are obsessed with it pups! I seened it with me own beady-eyes! Mommy brought baby kit inside for a little while & Ceel started licking & licking it till baby kit was sloppy wet. Then she gots baby kit to follow her to her bed and even let it climb into the bed with her! Then Ceel had a hissy-fit when Nuisance (that are what Ceel calls baby kit's Mama cat) came for her kit. Ceel told Nuisance that baby kit was HER 'puppy-cat' and she couldn'ts has it back! Mommy finally forced Ceel return baby kit to Nuisance! Can you's pups believe this?!

I Goed 'Unner da knife...

...And I's survived pups. I's had 3 'grofs (growths) removed from around me beady eyes. I's also had a dental & they's 'stole 2 of my 'toofers! If they's thinks it are gonna keep me from eatin' me favorite foods, they's sorely mistaken! I's will 'gum' my meatz if I's has to, but I's will has me meatz! I's homes resting now. My vet techs told Mommy I was a 'pawfect patient so she promised to make me a special dinners tonight!

Mommy says we's inching closer & closer to the poor-house! Me surgery set her back $750!!! She said she gonna go stock up on Ramen noodles for a while! BOL! MMMMM....I's sures hopes she shares some wif me! I loves Ramen noodles!

I's going for surgery on Monday

I's jus' gots back from seeing my dogtor pups. Mommy tooked me to see Rinky's vet, Dr. Patin. You see, I's gots dis 'grof (Ebby means 'growth) on the corner of me beady eye. It popped up suddenly & it makes me eye 'ish. I's is constantly 'scrashing at it.
Anywho, Dr. Patin told Mommy it was a possible tumor and the best thing to do would be to remove it so Mommy gonna takes me back Monday morning so theys can cuts it off. I's better gets a special treat for me inconvenience!

Pantycake & Egg Brefest

Mommy made Ceel and me a very special 'brefest! She made 'eash of us a stack of 'pantycakes' (3 quarter size pantycakes eash) no 'sir-ps. That are okay cause even with no 'sir-ps theys was DELISH! We's also gots 'scambled eggs!MMMMMMMM....it sures was good!!!! Now don't ask if you's can come overs for some cause theres nones left! Ceel & me licked our coaster plates clean! Just thoughts you pups would like to hear 'bout it!

All Betters...

Howdy pups! It are me, Ebony Ursula! I's no longers wearing that awful blue cone on me neck! I's 'cited to stop licking me paw so Mommy said I's doesn't has to wear it. You see, I broked me dew claw & Mommy tooked me to the vet and they's told her they's had to perform a fractured nail removal & it costed her $70! Only took 20 minutes! Again, Mommy said us furs is driving her to the Poor House! Mommy said for me not worry me pretty little beady-eyed head 'bout it! She said she'd gladly shell out 'unudder $70 if it means me not being in pains. And because I was sush a good patient, Mommy bought Ceel & me a bag of treats! Yippee! She also boughts stuff for the kitties and a bag diapers for Ceel.

CEELEY: "THEY'S NOT DIAPERS!!! They's 'mergency' wee-wee pads! I's not a puppy! I's doesn't use DIAPERS!" Ceeley barks angily.
EBBY: "Now, now Ceel, comes down. You's can't helps it if you's not 100% house-broke like I'S is." Ebby barks gloatingly.
CEELEY: Barks in Ebby's face. "THEY'S NOT DIAPERS!!! THEY'S 'MERGENCY WEE-WEE PADS!!!!!

Ebby backs down. "Okay, calms down. Don't gets you's doxie body in a wad."
Anywho, I's jus' wanna let you pups knows me paw is betters.

Ebby's New Job

I gots me a job pups! And I's gots it all by me-self! I's works for my cat siblings. They my 'ployers. I's they's dishwasher & theys pays me in tips. Theys tips me by leaving some of they's kibble or canned food in they's bowls!

CEELEY: "Shameful! Just shameful I's tell you! Ebbers doesn't you has no shame?! Working for them snooty purrs! Where's you's canine pride?!"
Ebby: "Ceel it are honest works! AND my tips is DELICIOUS! You's jus miffed cause they's wouldn't hire you cause you's rude to them!"
CEELEY: "Whatevers!" Ceeley prances off in a foul mood.

That's right pups, they's won't let Ceel works for them cause she barks in they's face alla times. I's on the other paw sits patiently at a proper distance and wait till they's dones eatin'. When they sets aside, I knows they's done. When they beguns washing they's faces with they's paws, that are me cue to move in and beguns 'washing' they's bowls & collect me tips. Some kitties is stingy and doesn'ts tips 'mush like the two blondes, Sunshine & Sweet-Pea, but I's still cleans they's bowls. Mos' of the times howevers, they's leaves me a kibble tip or Friskies tip. The very bes' tipper is Diamond! She are the mos' generous of alla kitties! She makes Mommy mad cause she'll lick all the gravy & leave mos' of the rest for me as tip!!!