December 18th 2011 2:38 am
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I think Mom has lost her mind.
Tonight, she got two of those big green garbage bags. The ones that make the big "Ka-chish" sound when she snaps them open, and if you're sleeping in the kitchen, will wake you up kind of scared. Not that I'm afraid of garbage bags. But normal garbage bags are white and small and they don't knock me out of my pleasant dreams like the big green ones. You gotta watch out for the green ones.
Anyhow, I saw her take two of the green ones out, so I was ready. They weren't going to scare me. But what she did with them worried me. She walked over to the refrigerator and just started to drop perfectly good food in them.
Yes. Just like that!
Oh, she'd take most of the jars and cans and put them on the counter. And the icky vegetables and fruits (that I don't care about), she put them in a separate container. She put some tortillas and cooked rice in that container too. And she took all those wonderful containers of perfectly good food, all those leftover enchiladas and lasagna and macaroni and cheese, and she just dumped them in that bag.
Meri and I just sat there, stunned.
Meri whispered to me, "Maybe she's going to give that to us?" So Meri walked over to the bag quietly and sniffed. "Mer, leave it." Mom said.
Meri walked back and sat with me again.
On the table, Mom lined up the milk, some eggs, my yellow cheese (thank God she didn't throw away my yellow cheese!), and a couple other things. Everything else went into that horrible bag, the fruit container or on the counter.
Then, she opened all the jars and poured them into the fruit container, rinsed them and the cans and put them in boxes. Some of those jars had stuff I'd like to taste, like huckleberry jam. Nope. She didn't share that either.
We didn't know what to say. We kept sniffing the air, watching Mom, looking at each other and watching her again, horrified at what we were seeing. Mom always says she hates to waste food, but here she was, throwing away perfectly good food that Meri and I would have loved to eat, like mashed potatoes and a little bit of taco meat.
Then it got worse. Mom opened the freezer. She hasn't been buying any meat in, well, forever. Meri inventories all the groceries when Mom gets home from the store, and she reported the fact that Mom has been a negligent shopper to me a few weeks ago.
Meri had been really worried. What would we do if there were an emergency? We were eating away all of our emergency supply of food, especially meat. I considered it and figured that probably, Santa would bring us new meat for Christmas, so I wasn't worried and had not given it much thought. After all, we've had emergencies before and always had plenty of meat, right? I told her so, and it seemed to make sense at the time.
But as Mom opened the freezer, I peeked around her legs and noticed that Meri was right. The freezer was almost empty. There was a package of bison meat, some turkey burgers, some icky frozen vegetables (Meri says that green beans are delicious and I should quit calling all vegetables icky.). Ok, there were some green beans and some icky vegetables too. And what looked like a container of frozen homemade enchiladas. These are Dad's favorite. He says Mom makes excellent enchiladas. I've never had them, but Meri has. She said they have a lot of chicken in them (I'm allergic to chicken), a whole bunch of cheese, and some other stuff that make them The Best Food Ever.
I should point out that Meri thinks whatever she is eating at the time is The Best Food Ever. She IS a beagle. But Dad really likes them too, so I suppose that's something.
So Mom started to pull stuff out of the freezer. First she took out the bison. I almost fainted. That is MY bison. I love bison, which really is The Best Food Ever. She looked at it for a while, then put it on the top shelf of the freezer.
I started to breathe again. She took out some turkey burgers. Meri looked equally panicked and adorable. I guess she figured that if she looked really cute, Mom might give her one. But Mom looked at all of them, pulled off a few that looked white, like they were icy, and set the other few back in. The icy ones she put in the bags. Meri was heartbroken.
Mom picked up a bag of frozen green beans. I thought Meri would be really sad, but I guess after the turkey burgers, she couldn't get any more depressed. Mom poured some of those in a zip loc bag. She looked over at Meri and said, "I saved those for you," which made Meri feel a little bit better. The rest went into the fruit container. She took the homemade enchiladas, glanced at me, and said "Dad would like these, don't you think?" I did think so. She put those back in.
She threw out some containers of frozen cooked spaghetti. But she did save the bag of horrible spinach, darn it.
And then she turned around, took the awful smelling spray stuff that she uses and sprayed inside the refrigerator. She wiped it out and put the milk, bread and other stuff from the table back in.
Except the cheese.
She looked at both of us: each of us carefully. "You've been very good tonight. Would you like some cheese?" She gave Meri her little piece of cheese, which Meri took and ran away with. (Meri always does that, like I might try to steal it from her. Ok, sometimes I try to. But she acts like I ALWAYS do, which isn't true).
Then Mom took two pieces of yellow cheese, ripped off little pieces just the way I like it -- because I don't like cold stuff on my teeth. And she fed it to me, piece by piece, which is the perfect way to eat cheese.
Then she said the best thing of all: "Celo, do you want to help me take this outside?"
So I was able to go outside with Mom, not once or twice but a bunch of times as we took out the garbage bags, the box with the jars, the cans, and the fruit container. It was like old times, before my surgery, when I used to help Mom do everything. Of course, I had to be on a leash. I couldn't just run around the front yard like I used to. But it was still nice to be able to help Mom -- heck, to do ANYTHING after all these weeks of being bored.
So, I don't have any idea why Mom threw away all our food. All I can think is that Meri and I have been SO good this year -- and I've been especially good with my surgery -- that Santa is going to bring us enough brand new food and meat to fill the whole refrigerator and freezer. So Mom had to make enough room for the new stuff, which of course, meant throwing away some of the old stuff.
That does totally make sense. And I bet that she saved that awful spinach because she knows Santa is too kind to ever bring something that horrible to good dogs like Meri and me.
That's got to be it.
I can't wait to tell Meri. She's going to be so relieved.
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