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<title>Pennie, a Personal Hygeine Princess</title>
<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess</link>
<description>Dogster diary for the dog Pennie</description>
<language>en</language>
<copyright>Copyright 2013 by Pennie &amp; Dogster</copyright>
<pubDate>Wed, 22 May 2013 23:58:08 PDT</pubDate>
<generator>Dogster Pet-o-matic Gennie - http://www.dogster.com</generator>
<ttl>360</ttl>

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Tippi Hedren</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/823043</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:25:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/823043</guid>
		<description>My 0.46 Acres of Suburbia has become a Horror Movie.  On my very own front porch a flock of birds de ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My 0.46 Acres of Suburbia has become a Horror Movie.  On my very own front porch a flock of birds decided to build a nest.  I have heard that birds are "bird-brained," but what type of parent builds a nest for their offspring right outside the front door of a busy household?

Mom at first thought that the wind was just gathering up sticks, as it has been rather windy the last few days.  Dad thought that Mom was just acting bird-brained, and creating a stick-pile.

Then Mom discovered a well-constructed nest, directly outside the front door.

Mom did not think this was a good spot for hatchlings.  She thought that Alpha Pennnie would find the eggs or the hatchlings and consume them.  Dad therefore dispersed the nest.

The birds are angry.  They are yelling and screaming.

I refuse to go outside the front door.  I am not going to be like Tippi Hedren, in "The Birds," by Alfred HItchcock.  I am not going to go running about my yard with birds pecking at my hair!  At least Tippi Hedren had "Big Hair," held in place by plenty of Aqua Net hair fixative, to keep The Birds at bay.  I have short hair, all natural.

Mom keeps trying to get me to go outside, in the front, but I refuse to be assaulted by The Birds.  Mom thinks that I am having a mental breakdown.  I think I am being smart, and perhaps I shall push Mom out the front door, to be assaulted by The Birds.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Yoga, Doga, Medidogitation</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/819438</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:17:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/819438</guid>
		<description>Mom is continuing on her supposed program by the infamous Jon Kabat-Zinn.  I wonder if it is so much ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is continuing on her supposed program by the infamous Jon Kabat-Zinn.  I wonder if it is so much of a "program," or is it "programm-ing?"

Mom has now started the Yoga phase of Mindfulness Meditations.  Since everything here at MY 0.46 Acres of Suburbia should be centered on ME, Pennie, or Sophie, as well, if I am feeling generous, then we have turned this Mindfulness Meditation into Medidogitation.  It would be wrong of us to let Mom embark on anything without our advice and input, particularly anything which is so focused upon The Breath.  As dogs, we have an abundance of The Breath, and share it freely and lovingly with all.

Mom tried to get started with the Yoga by laying out a mat on the floor.  She then installed her earphones/ear buds into her ears and turned on her MP3 player, and laid down.  That was of course an invitation for Sophie and I to lay upon Mom.  Mom attempted to banish ME, Pennie, to the basement, to encourage Dad to focus, focus, focus, upon his work, but I kept bark, bark, barking.  In the meantime, Sophie grabbed a deer antler and lay quite close to Mom and began to grind, grind, grind, and gnaw, gnaw, gnaw upon her deer antler gnaw.  Mom stopped the recording and released me from the basement.  She installed Sophie upstairs, in Mom's bedroom.  Sophie immediately began to whine; long high pitched, ear-penetrating whines of angst and despair.  Mom turned the MP3 recording back on and attempted to block out the noise of Sophie's angst and despair.

One might ask at this point why Mom did not put Sophie and ME, Pennie, outside.  Well, obviously we would just bark, bark, bark and hurl ourselves at the door to come inside.  Mom did not even attempt to trap ME, Pennie, in a room.  There is much photographic evidence of my penchant to become Interior Designer Pennie if I am trapped in a room.

Mom resumed her attempt at YOGA.  The first position was called the "Corpse Position."  What was a Pennie-Dog to do?  All dogs must investigate a corpse!  A dog must first determine if a corpse is really a corpse, then roll in it to enjoy the lovely corpse smells, and then eat parts of the corpse.  I sniffed Mom's hands, licked her toes, then attempted to clean her right ear.  Mom does NOT like her ears cleaned.  Who knows what is growing inside her ears, as she will not ever let me send my long, probing tongue inside to clean it thoroughly.  However, when I got to Mom's ear, I was able to definitely determine that Mom was NOT a corpse.  Really, I am glad Mom was not a corpse.  If I had rolled in her, then eaten parts of her, I would no doubt have ended up back at The Shelter.  With my less-adoptable age of seven, plus a history of eating bit of my own Mother, I probably would be rendered "non-adoptable," and all dogs know what happens next.

Mom again attempted to re-focus upon her Mindfulness Medidogitation YOGA.  I laid at her feet, just out of reach of Mom, but she could feel The Pennie Breath upon her.  I offered up grumbles of either gentle encouragement, or general displeasure at Mom's refusal to give up on the YOGA.  I finally decided to listen to my Gentle Pennie-Self and settled myself down to simply watch over Mom.

If Mom is determined to continue with this Medidogitation then I am certain that I am only helping:  assuring her that she is still alive while she is in the "corpse pose," murmuring either encouragement or displeasure as she makes a fool of herself in her YOGA poses, and of course providing Mom with an even greater abundance of The Breath to focus upon, as I pant and offer up The Pennie Breath.  In fact, me being a general nuisance will actually allow Mom to obtain greater depths of relaxation, in my Pennie Theory of Medidogitaion, even if I am not a famous PhD from a famous University.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Saying NO, to ME, Pennie (warning: this may be disturbing.)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/818142</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 28 Feb 2013 12:48:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/818142</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad, as human parents go, are more on the &quot;strict&quot; side than the &quot;permissive&quot; side of things ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad, as human parents go, are more on the "strict" side than the "permissive" side of things.  Pawsonally, I don't think they are strict enough.  If Middle Lad, Little Lad, and Wee Lass were MY pups, I'd bite them when they disobeyed.  Mom and Dad tend to prefer more psychological than physical torture, and have never once bitten any of the pups, much as they have deserved it.

I am all for enforcing homework, limiting screen time, and expecting wet towels to be hung up.

Now things have gone too far.

Admittedly, I have been really "bad," lately.  I have been getting walks, and I have been playing vigorously, on a regular basis, with Lindsey, the Pittie pup from next door.  Still, I have made sure to do misbehave in just about every manner that I can think of.  Dad, rather rudely, pointed out to Mom that she was all in favor of instilling discipline in the human children, but that she rarely said "no," or punished Sophie or Me.

Mom has begun to say "NO."  To Me, Pennie.

Mom has even begun to put me in the "Cooler," for time out.  The Cooler is of course based upon the Vietnam-Era Torture boxes.  I am forced to go into the downstairs bathroom, where I must stay, in complete boredom, with no couch, chair, or blanket.  There is only one heat/air duct bringing air into the room, so I feel that I am suffocating.  The window is high up on the wall, so I can not see outside the room.

Sophie, even Sophie, has been forced to spend time in the "Cooler," and Sophie has looked in utter shock and amazement as she, Queen Sophine, has heard Mom say "NO," to her.

The disciplining of the human pups must continue, but I shall not tolerate being told "No."  Thus far I have been in such a state of shock of being sent to the "Cooler," that I have not done what it is clear that I must do:  tunnel my way out.  Just wait until Dad sees how much damage one Standard American Brown Dog can do tunneling her way out of a small bathroom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie On Strike</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/817144</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 20 Feb 2013 14:12:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/817144</guid>
		<description>I am on strike.  I have been quite unhappy since Oldest Lad moved to Louisville.  Yes, he has moved  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am on strike.  I have been quite unhappy since Oldest Lad moved to Louisville.  Yes, he has moved back and forth between home and University multiple times these past several years, but this time I knew he was going for good.  I am supposed to be happy because Oldest Lad is off the Parental Dole and is a Taxpayer.

I have decided to convey my unhappiness in a series of Passive Aggressive Antics.  Some of my antics are not Passive Aggressive, but simply Aggressive.

Last night, when Dad was reading Wee Lass her nightly bedtime story, I was sitting on the bed, listening and murmuring appropriate literary comments.  There is a lot to be said about Dr. Seuss "The Foot Book," if one takes the time to thoughtfully analyze it.  Normally, Sophie joins us.  This is what happened:  Sophie walked just into the doorway and saw that it was Story Time.  I "smiled" at her. I don't mean I "smiled" in a good way.  It was a "you are NOT invited to this Story Time, ever," type of smile.  Sophie left.

The backyard of my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia is now covered in mole tracks.  It is almost impossible for a human to walk about the back yard without stepping upon a mole track, sinking into the earth, and twisting an ankle.

I normally dispense with moles.  In August of 2007, upon my arrival here, I immediately dispensed with all moles from the property, sending any moles that I did not consume over into the adjacent yards.

I am NOT going to eat the moles.  I am not going to prevent their tunneling.  I don't care if Mom twists an ankle in a Mole Tunnel while she is in the back yard picking up poop.

Sophie does nothing to earn her kibble, yet she gets a daily kibble ration, same as me.  Sophie doesn't even act like she misses Oldest Lad.  When he comes home for a visit, she dominates his attention, spending her time staring at him and licking his head.  As soon as he leaves, she turns her attention back to either Mom or whoever else will shower her with Utter Sophie Adoration.

I am on strike.  I am Angry Pennie.  I am Depressed Pennie.  I shall not raise a paw until my family proves to me that they are worthy of my mole-eating skills.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Attacked!  Unimpressed.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/815886</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 Feb 2013 12:42:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/815886</guid>
		<description>This afternoon Sophie and I insisted that Mom get some exercise by taking us for a walk.  We venture ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This afternoon Sophie and I insisted that Mom get some exercise by taking us for a walk.  We ventured forth into the Subdivision behind our 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.  I believe that I have made mention of this Subdivision before -- the home of the Stepford Dogs and the Megamansions that dwarf our Cincinnati Two Story.

Anyhoodles, Mom boldly ventured onto the cul de sac street where That Woman lives.  That Woman would be That Woman who years ago told Mom not to walk her "shelter dogs" in her neighborhood.  Mom was so taken aback that she did not have a reply.  However, Mom DOES walk her "shelter dogs" in that neighborhood anyway.

Clearly, one of the dogs in the "Nicer" Neighborhood has not yet received his Stepford Dog indoctrination.  Sophie and I were walking Mom along at a brisk pace, trying to keep her heart rate up by pulling firmly on the leash.

Out of nowhere a black terrier, all of 10 pounds attacked!

If anyone is familiar with Monty Python's "The Holy Grail," then this black terrier attacked us like the Killer Rabbit.

Seriously.  While Sophie cowered in fear of the Killer Terrier, I looked at it in disdain.  I was NOT going to be taken out by some Mega-Mansion Killer Terrier.

Mom KNEW that I, Pennie, was NOT going to put up with this little black Mega Mansion Killer Terrier, but the consequences of me dispatching with this Killer Terrier would be BAD.  Mom grabbed me, and in an effort to let the Killer Terrier live, let Sophie bear the brunt of it's abuse.  Yes, poor Sophie was sacrificed in order to keep me from getting hold of that 10 pound black fur monster.

Eventually the Dad of the Killer Terrier arrived, apologized profusely, and began to attempt to corral his little beast home.

The rest of the walk was uneventful.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Tattletale!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/814969</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 5 Feb 2013 04:53:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/814969</guid>
		<description>This is a replay of last night's dinner conversation:

Setting:  Mom and Dad in the kitchen, helpi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This is a replay of last night's dinner conversation:

Setting:  Mom and Dad in the kitchen, helping themselves to delicious roast beast, which had been cooking all day in the crock pot, torturing Sophie and I with it's odors.  In addition, Mom had cooked up Pillsbury frozen biscuits.

Mom, to Dad:  "Why are you opening a new margarine?  I used margarine this morning and the tub was almost full."

Dad: "I looked in the fridge and did not see another one."

Mom goes to fridge and looks inside.  She sees a second margarine tub, but it is still inside it's packaging.  She does not see any other margarine tubs.

Wee Lass:  "Pennie ate the margarine."

Little Lad, sarcastically, in a sibling dig to Wee Lass:  "How would you know that?"

Wee Lass:  "It's in the Living Room."

Mom goes to living room.  She knows that whenever I sneak food I take it to the living room to eat it.  I am a well-bred Shelter Special.  I like to dine formally.  Sure enough, in the living room is a margarine lid, slightly gnawed and a margarine tub, well cleaned.

Word of warning:  If I need to go outside in the next few days; I need to go outside NOW, as in I am well-lubricated inside.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Clones?  Again?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/813565</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 Jan 2013 13:00:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/813565</guid>
		<description>The topic of Dog Cloning has re-emerged.  That takes me back to the days of the Mulli-Clone:
I sear ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The topic of Dog Cloning has re-emerged.  That takes me back to the days of the Mulli-Clone:
I searched the Mulligan Diary archive, and this is what Mulligan wrote about cloning:

Excerpt from Mulligan's Diary

Dogster has a Poll, going on right now, about Dog Cloning.  Well.  Months ago, I, Mulligan, placed a very large Clone Order, as my Diary Readers should recall.

Unfortunately, the economy then tanked, and Mom and Dad's Portfolio went into the Sewer, down to the Ohio River, on to the Mississippi, and probably is out in the Gulf of Mexico by now.  Apparently, that was enough to block my order.

The following is the call that I made, many months ago:

bee bee bee beep bee bee beep beep beep beep beep

"Hello, thank you for calling Dial-a-Clone, how may I direct your call?"

Mulligan:  "This is Mr. Mulligan, I'd like to order clones of my dog."

Dial-A-Clone:  "Why certainly, Mr. Mulligan, I'll need a few samples of skin from your dog."

Mulligan:  "Uh, will it hurt?"

Dial-A-Clone:  "It's a very minor procedure, Mr. Mulligan, perhaps you can get them while your dog is sleeping.  We will send you a special shipping envelope to put them in.  How many clones will you be ordering?"

Mulligan:  "One Thousand.  Frozen Embryos"

Dial-A-Clone:  "That's quite a large order, Mr. Mulligan.  Do you have suitable Surrogates to incubate these clones?"

Mulligan:  "Um, yes, I will keep them frozen and just thaw them as needed."

Dial-A-Clone:  "How will you be paying for your order today?"

Mulligan:  "Take it directly from my online Merrill Lynch Account.  I have liquidated all my stocks, bonds and assets into cash.  Here is the account number, 555-55555.  Oh, don't be fooled by the different name on the account, Mulligan is my nickname."

Dial-A-Clone:  "Thank you Mr. Mulligan, it has been a pleasure doing business with you.  Your order will be arriving via Federal Express two weeks after we receive the skin sample from your dog."

There, my plan is proceeding nicely.  Dad won't know the Merrill Lynch Account is gone until it is too late.  Mom warned him against on-line access and internet safety.  I can't use Pennie to incubate my Mulligan's Army because she was neutered before she arrived here.  But Mom, yes, Mom can incubate the Pups.  Mom doesn't believe in Abortion.  While she is sleeping, I shall put my first Platoon of Mulligan's Army into her Womb.  When she begins to feel the first wriggles of tiny paws inside her belly she will think the doctors were wrong and she really can have more children.  Puppies don't take as long to incubate as humans.  Won't Mom be surprised when just a few months into her pregnancy she gives birth to a cute little Platoon of Mulligans.  Oh, but it won't be cute for long.  Soon there will be more Mulligans.  One Thousand Mulligan Sociopaths!  The World will belong to Mulligan!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nurse Pennie and Nurse Sophie:  We work for Crackers</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/812320</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Jan 2013 14:41:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/812320</guid>
		<description>In these last few days, Mom has been sick, AGAIN.  I am putting full faith in the concept of Zoonoti ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In these last few days, Mom has been sick, AGAIN.  I am putting full faith in the concept of Zoonotic Diseases.  That may sound fancy but what that really means is that humans don't catch most dog diseases, and dogs don't catch many human diseases.

Nurse Sophie and ME, Nurse Pennie, have once again been working our paws to the bone, and using full force Compression Therapy.  Sophie has been laying upon Mom, or curled up tightly against her, to Compress Mom, while I have curled up next to Mom's head.  I have aimed my bottom, with it's naturally humidified healing vapors, directly at Mom's nasal and oral air passageways, in the hopes of keeping Mom from another round of pneumonia.  When my bottom vaporage has not been powerful enough, I have aimed my full breath in Mom's face, instead.

Mom usually keeps a supply of crackers on her nightstand, in order to take any pills that she needs to swallow.

This is how Dad takes pills:  He dry swallows, or spit swallows the pills.  When Dad has to bring a Ritalin to Middle Lad at one of Middle Lad's activities, Dad puts the Ritalin in his pocket, and then finds Middle Lad.  Dad flicks the lint off the pill, and orders him to dry swallow the pill.  When Mom brings a Ritalin to Middle Lad; Mom she puts one pill in a labelled pharmacy bottle and brings along a bottle of water, and perhaps a small treat.  She finds Middle Lad and gives him the pill, along with a nice bottle of water, and his treat.

This is how Pennie and Sophie take pills:  We get pills wadded up inside an unwrapped, Individually wrapped slice of processed American cheese.

Mom neither dry/spit swallows pills nor does she take pills inside a cheese wad.  Mom claims to be of a more delicate nature, and insists that she take pills with a small stack of crackers and several sips of water, to prevent stomach upset.

It occurred to me that perhaps a stirring motivation for Nurse Sophie and ME, Nurse Pennie, to provide so much Compression Therapy is the Crackers.  Yes, Nurse Sophie and I work for crackers.  Mom eats a few crackers with her pills and then she gives a few crackers to her hard-working Nurses.  Since it is rude to leave cracker crumbs in the sheets, Nurse Sophie snuffles up any cracker crumbs.

Do human nurses work for crackers?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Showing who is Alpha</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/811676</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 8 Jan 2013 14:29:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/811676</guid>
		<description>Yesterday afternoon I met Full-Force Pittie.

Lindsey, my new Pittie neighbor, has made a few incu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday afternoon I met Full-Force Pittie.

Lindsey, my new Pittie neighbor, has made a few incursions across the demilitarized zone thicket. None have lasted for more than an moment or two before she has been corralled and returned to her own Zone of Suburbia.

Not Monday afternoon.  Mom was out picking up poop and supervising Wee Lass while Wee Lass did outdoor preschool things.  Suddenly Wee Lass sounded the alarm:  There was a Full Force Pittie Breach of the demilitarized zone thicket.  Lindsey was in the yard.

Lindsey has plumped up a bit since she came home from the shelter.  She is about my size, but I still have about 10 pounds on her.  But I made it clear that it was ME, Pennie, that is the One True Alpha.  Lindsey and I ran and ran and ran some more around my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.  Whenever Lindsey made any attempts at being Alpha, I knocked her down.  Due to the recent snow melt, I stayed clean, but due to my Alpha Knock Downs, Lindsey was definitely going to need a full body wipe down before she went inside.

Queen Sophine, in her usual Sophathetic state, proved that she was somewhere mid-range down the alphabet in her status.  Lindsey weighs about 8 pounds more than Sophie, but is about double Sophie-size and all Pittie-Puppy energy.  Sophathetic Sophie soon just huddled by the maple tree while Lindsey and I raced about with wild abandon.

I have never had a dog live on either side of me, just across the street. I think I shall enjoy having a near neighbor Pittie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Perfectly Good Pretzels</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/811294</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Jan 2013 11:48:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/811294</guid>
		<description>The other day, one of the lads spilled some pretzel sticks on the floor.  I do not particularly care ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The other day, one of the lads spilled some pretzel sticks on the floor.  I do not particularly care for pretzels, Ritz crackers, or tortilla chips.  I will eat them if it's a matter of me getting to them prior to Sophie, but in this case she was standing right under the counter and it wasn't worth getting off the couch for a snack I don't particularly like.

As a rule, Mom does not find pretzel sticks and dogs to mesh well.  Mom thinks that since us dogs eat so fast, the pretzel sticks don't get chewed at all, but go down whole.

It was soon quite clear that Sophie had eaten her pretzel sticks whole.  The utterly amazing aspect is that Middle Lad heard Sophie making her pre-spew sounds and rushed her out the door.  Middle Lad is oblivious to most things, so for him to register the pre-spew sound PLUS act upon it was amazing.

Sophie spewed forth a neat little pile of pretzel sticks onto the front porch.  It looked like a little pretzel haystack.  A few weeks ago I erupted forth a pile of glistening chocolates that I had eaten, in such a perfect manner that Mom could simply have reconstituted the little pieces of foil, plus my vomit, into perfect little chocolates once again.  It was the same with the pretzels:  If so inclined, Mom could have just picked those pretzels out, dried them a bit, and put them back in the pretzel bag.

Instead, Mom got a big dish of water and rinsed the pretzel vomit pile off into the shrubbery.  I don't know what Mom was thinking, but those pretzels still have not dissolved.  Nope.  Each time that Sophie or I are mistakenly let out into the front yard, we head straight for the shrubbery and attempt to re-snack upon those still perfectly good pretzels.

I don't understand Mom's consternation.  The pretzels are clearly still perfectly shaped and edible.  She "could" have picked them up when they were first spewed forth, but no, she just rinsed them off into the shrubbery.  Who was she trying to fool?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nurse Pennie at breaking point</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/810690</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 31 Dec 2012 22:46:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/810690</guid>
		<description>I have come to the sad realization that there is only so much that Compression Therapy, along with N ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have come to the sad realization that there is only so much that Compression Therapy, along with Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors, from both ends, can do.  I feel like a failure.  Please don't let Mulligan, the Patent-Holding Inventor of Compression Therapy, know how I have failed; he would be disappointed in me; or perhaps he was just able to provide better vaporage -- I am roughly the same size as Mulligan, but with the size of his cranium, tongue, curly butt doodles, he no doubt provided much more in the way of healing, naturally humidified vapors.

Mom became ill soon after Dad.  Wee Lass was ill as well.  Even Sophie rose to the occasion, donning her Nurse Sophie hat, and providing full time Compression Therapy for Mom.  We seldom left Mom.  Eventually, the germs won out.  Dad took Mom away!  Mom had been writhing in agony for several days, and Nurse Sophie and Me, Nurse Pennie, had completely wrinkled brows, and shook with worry.  Dad returned home without Mom!  I DEMANDED to know:  Where IS MOM????  I looked all over the house.  I looked outside.  Dad had not suddenly decided to pour a concrete patio, so I knew Dad had not buried Mom somewhere on my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  (It is amazing, in all those Missing Person shows, how a person goes missing, and the Prime Suspect, in their supposed grief and despair, decides that instead of Searching for the Missing Person, it is the perfect time to lay out that new concrete patio they have been planning for years.  And of course the detectives must think that pouring a concrete patio is part of the Normal Missing Person Grief Process, because the Detectives never dig up that patio for at least 5 years, usually after a Psychic says the person is buried under a concrete patio.  But I digress.)

I THREW myself at Dad.  I DEMANDED to know where Mom was.  I STORMED Dad's car.  It did not matter.  Dad refused to take me to the hospital, where he had stowed Mom and her pneumonia.  Apparently, hospitals do not recognize Compression Therapy as Treatment Modality for Pneumonia.  Plus, I could have eaten all those perfectly good hospital meals that Mom was not eating, because she had too much nausea.

After several days, Dad finally brought Mom back home.  Nurse Sophie and I have been Compressing Mom ever since she came home -- partly to further facilitate her healing and partly to ensure that Mom is rendered incapable of leaving the house because she cannot move with 85 combined pounds of Nurse Sophie and Nurse Pennie firmly planted atop her.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Candid Statement to That Fat Mythical Elf</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/809736</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 23 Dec 2012 18:18:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/809736</guid>
		<description>I fully admit that in a crazed fit of creativity I became Interior Designer Pennie and that I remove ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I fully admit that in a crazed fit of creativity I became Interior Designer Pennie and that I removed/shredded/ and/or mangled the basement carpet, necessitating it's removal so that now the top three basement steps are bare wood while the rest of the steps are still carpeted.

For the record I would like to state that the carpet was extremely ugly, and the remaining carpet is extremely ugly.

I fully understand that my pawrents were NOT as impressed with my creativity as I was, and that I was remanded over to the Naughty List of that Fat Mythical Elf, who is set to begin deliveries in just a few short hours.

To That Fat Mythical Elf:

I, Nurse Pennie, with no concern for my own safety, took care of Mom and Wee Lass for THREE Days, while they had Influenza, and Dad was off gallivanting in Northern Ohio, supposedly working for a living.

Yes, I did get help from Queen Sophine, for which I am grateful.

Upon Dad's return, I continued to care for Mom and Wee Lass, and additionally now Little Lad, who now was germ infested and disgusting.

If my care for Dad after his oral surgery, my care for Dad during HIS bout with Influenza, and my most recent grueling days as Nurse Pennie do not grant me "some" token GIFTs from That Fat Mythical Elf, then be it now known that I shall forever more be a Non-Believer.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I hate myself.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/808665</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 15 Dec 2012 10:01:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/808665</guid>
		<description>I am incapable of carrying out my threats. Oh sure, I can carry out threats to vile intruders into m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am incapable of carrying out my threats. Oh sure, I can carry out threats to vile intruders into my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  Yesterday Sophie and I barked for over an hour at a workman who was working in the are behind our house.  Mom said she was "on the verge of a nervous breakdown," from all the bark, bark, barking.

Just a few days ago I vowed that the next time that Dad was ill, I would show him my anger and NOT administer Compression Therapy OR Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors, after the way he treated me post oral surgery.  I was Nurse Pennie-on-the-spot all during Dad's oral surgery recovery, and then once he was feeling better he spurned me.

Now Dad has succumbed to Influenza, the flu.  I tried to ignore him.  He has been isolated to the upstairs bedroom, in an attempt to keep the germs to one quadrant of the house.  I could not stay away!  My Nurse Pennie instincts took over, and I soon found myself joining Dad upon the Concrete Queen Bed, but NOT touching him.  No, I decided that I would allow him and his lungs the healing powers of my Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors, but NO Compression Therapy.

By last night I had given in to full force Compression Therapy and Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors.

I believe that my Healing Vapors, from both ends, were exceptionally strong last night.  I ate all the candy that Little Lad had received as a small Christmas gift from his piano teacher.  I ate the candies, wrappers and all.

I think the candies, plus wrappers, made my vaporage very strong, until finally, in the wee hours of the morning I came downstairs, stood next to the couch where Mom was sleeping, and vomited forth the candy plus the wrappers on the carpet.  

Mom was quite surprised at my vomitus (not that I had vomited, but at the contents itself.)  She said that she could have simply picked out the candy wrappers and reconstituted the original chocolates, had she been so inclined.

In the meantime, I hate myself for not standing firm in denying Dad my Nurse Pennie powerful healing prowess.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Thanks to Nurse Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/808287</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Dec 2012 13:52:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/808287</guid>
		<description>Dad had the rest of his Wisdom Teeth out on Thursday.  He had two of his Wisdom Teeth out when he wa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad had the rest of his Wisdom Teeth out on Thursday.  He had two of his Wisdom Teeth out when he was a teenager.  It went badly and Dad was scarred for life.  As long as Mom has known Dad, he was supposed to go back and get the other two teeth out, or else he would get an infection.  Well, Dad never would go back, and then he got an infection and that was that; face the fear or die of infection.  Mom assured Dad that THIS oral surgeon (the same one who took out her wisdom teeth) passed out drugs like it was candy, and that Dad would be fine.  Plus, despite my lack of faith in Mom's Maternal Skills; Mom actually DOES possess "some" maternal skills, plus there was ME, Nurse Pennie to take care of Dad, and all would go well.

I took care of Dad from the time he stumbled into the house post oral surgery Thursday afternoon, all through Thursday, Friday, and into Saturday as well.  I rarely left the couch except to eat and provide myself with nourishment -- even caregivers must eat.

Last night, Dad went to bed, but was now "off drugs."  Mom encouraged him that perhaps he should take a pain pill; after all he had worked all day and it would help him sleep.  Dad did not want to take a pain pill.  After all the time that I spent as Nurse Pennie, attending to every post oral-surgery whimper that Dad uttered, I "thought" that I had earned the right to touch Dad while sleeping upon the Concrete Queen Bed.

I was wrong.  I spent all that time as Nurse Pennie, hour upon sleepless hour, only to be informed that No Dogs May Touch Dad While Dad Sleeps On the Concrete Queen Bed.  To add insult to injury, Dad was in quite a surly mood.

Dad's surliness immediately made both Sophie and Me, Nurse Pennie, feel extreme guilt, and like all dogs, we had an immediate need to touch and smother Dad.  The more we touched and smothered Dad, the more Dad became annoyed because he could not sleep, AND because we were touching him.  Mom kept attempting to intervene, encouraging us over to HER dog-friendly side of the Concrete Queen, but of course, being dogs, we HAD to make it right with Dad, and touch him until he loved us again.

I have given up on being Nurse Pennie to Dad.  Next time he is ill and needs Compression Therapy, or has post-surgical pain and needs a Dog Heating Pad and Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors, I shall not administer them.  I don't care about the Hippocratic Oath.  I have my pride.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Interior Designer Pennie Reputation</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/807005</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 1 Dec 2012 08:38:14 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/807005</guid>
		<description>I am amazed what just one hour as Interior Designer Pennie has done for my reputation as an Interior ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am amazed what just one hour as Interior Designer Pennie has done for my reputation as an Interior Designer.  It's true -- using Facebook and electronic media as an advertising tool really works!

This morning, Mom had to stop off at another Band Mom's house to pick up a fund-raising order.  Parked in the driveway was Calbert's Mom, who was duly picking up HER fund-raising order.  Calbert's Mom stopped by the van, where Sophie and I were along for the ride, to say how impressed she was with the Facebook pictures of my Interior Design Work on the Basement Steps.  Calbert's Mom freely offered the opinion that she was pleased that Calbert had not done such a thing.

In other words, Calbert's Mom immediately recognized that it is ME, Pennie, that is a truly gifted Interior Designer, and any Interior Design work that Calbert would attempt, would be shoddy in comparison.  Perhaps next time the Calbert family takes on a home renovation project, instead of just borrowing Dad's workshop and Dad's tools, they will also bring Me, Interior Designer Pennie over for a Consult!

Furthermore, when Mom first discovered my extensive Interior Design/Renovation on the basement steps, she took a picture with her camera phone and she texted the picture to Dad.  Mom was afraid to wait for Dad to arrive home and see how much destruction, I mean how much Design work, I had accomplished.  Dad received the picture in the middle of a sales meeting, and he was so shocked at the beauty of my work, that he gasped.  At his gasp, the meeting attendees just HAD to see my picture.  Dad passed his phone around and the meeting attendees were awed at my work!  Several attendees asked for Dad to text mail the picture to them so that they could pass the picture on as well!

I highly recommend electronic media, such as Facebook and Text Mail, as an advertising tool.  I suspect that any day my Interior Design Business shall blossom.  Obviously the next thing is for me to open a Twitter account.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Tossing barks across the demilitarized thicket</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806866</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 30 Nov 2012 05:14:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806866</guid>
		<description>The new Pittie neighbor has been out in her backyard and we have started to toss barks across the De ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The new Pittie neighbor has been out in her backyard and we have started to toss barks across the Demilitarized Thicket separating our two yards.  Mom refused to let me actually meet Pittie neighbor, who is named Lindsey.  Lindsey has a bit of Kennel Cough from her time in The Shelter and Mom also does not want me to overwhelm Lindsey.

Mom and Dad's bathroom has an exhaust fan that exits out through the ceiling of the bathroom, out through the attic, and then vents to the outside.  When I stand at the perfect spot in the back yard, and BARK, my barks are transmitted up to the roof of the house, and Mom can actually hear them echoing, inside the attic venting!  It's totally awesome!  It's like having a barking Pennie right there in the bathroom, with Mom.

Of course, I don't "normally" have a reason to stand in that exactly perfect spot.  Usually I only pick that spot when I have treed a squirrel in the maple tree in the back yard.  However, the perfect spot to bark at Lindsey just happens to also be the perfect spot to send my gorgeous BARK straight up over the roof of the house, and into the attic, down into the bathroom!

This Demilitarized Thicket Barking is going to be even more awesome than I imagined!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Demilitarized 0.46 Acres of Suburbia</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806550</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 27 Nov 2012 14:53:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806550</guid>
		<description>Things are heating up at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  This afternoon Mom heard what she 
&quot;thought&quot; w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Things are heating up at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  This afternoon Mom heard what she 
"thought" was the normal Pennie/Sophie ruckus of guarding our front sidewalk.  Some intuition forced Mom to open the front door and there she saw our next door neighbor walking:  a dog.

Mom was certain that neighbor was simply dog sitting, so Mom called out an inquiry as to whose dog it was.

We have a new neighbor.  It is a female Pittie, and it was newly home from the Shelter.

This certainly changes things at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  There has NEVER been a dog on either side of this 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.  There is a dog across the street.  There were two dogs, and now is one, diagonally across the street.  However, the neighbors on either side have respected a vast no dog's land and all has been quiet.

It's going to heat up really fast.  In the back yard there is a large thicket of honeysuckle that separates the two yards.  In the front, there is nothing but a dip in the grass to demarcate the separation between MY 0.46 acres of Suburbia and New Pittie's 0.466 Acres.  Yes, new Pittie has 0.006 more acres of property to guard.

I propose that the honeysuckle thicket shall act as the demilitarized zone; the demilitarized thicket, and let the barking war commence.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Creative Outlet</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806374</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 26 Nov 2012 12:03:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/806374</guid>
		<description>I had a particularly unhappy Thanksgiving weekend, as Sophie has already written in her Sophathetic  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I had a particularly unhappy Thanksgiving weekend, as Sophie has already written in her Sophathetic diary.  Although it was not MY Gotcha Day, I too spent Thanksgiving Day eating cold hard kibble, stranded in an steel cage, with just a thin blanket to warm my shivering Pennie bones.  To make it worse, I knew that just after I had been dropped off at Camp Kennel, Oldest Lad arrived at home for a short visit.  In his grief at not being able to spend time with Sophie and I, he requested that Mom drop us off at the kennel before he arrived at home.  Oldest Lad did not want to say "hello," only to be forced to say "good-bye," in a matter of minutes.

Once home, I knew from the smell of the house that Oldest Lad had been there AND that I had missed him.  I also missed Thanksgiving dinner.  It was a useless waste of all those plates scraped into the "Insinkerator" kitchen sink disposal, where the tasty bits were ground to oblivion and then sent out to the sewer system, to end up in Lake Erie.  They all could have been mine.

Today, Mom went out to run errands, and did not realize that I was left in the basement.  In my still over-anxious state of missing Thanksgiving, missing Oldest Lad, and my normal state of separation anxiety, I turned to creativity to ease my mind.  Mom has been turning to Mindfulness Meditations to ease HER anxiety, but she is unwilling to share her iPod Nano Ear Buds even with ME, Pennie, and my luxurious bi-fold ears.  I feared Mom would have a meltdown if she discovered someone, even ME, Pennie, had dared to put her earbuds into mythically contaminated ears, so I chose CREATIVITY as an outlet.

I became Interior Designer Pennie.  As Mom was gone for quite a while, i was free to exercise my Interior Designer Pennie creativity burst of energy for over an hour.  In that time I removed the carpet from the top three steps of the basement stairs.  Granted, I had begun work on removing the carpet from the top step some time ago, but I finished the job of that top step, plus added two more steps.  I am quite proud of myself, and have a picture posted of my fine work.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Crushing Mom</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/805880</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 21 Nov 2012 13:08:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/805880</guid>
		<description>Mom sat on the recliner today to have a quick time to let some migraine medication do it's work.  I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom sat on the recliner today to have a quick time to let some migraine medication do it's work.  I was quite certain that it was time to Crush Mom beyond all resistance, I mean it was time to apply some Compression Therapy.  I pawed at Mom's leg until she shifted over so that I could climb on top of her.  Then Sophie trotted over and stared at Mom expectantly until Mom let Sophie climb on top of her, as well.

Mom wondered if instead of receiving the ministrations of Compression Therapy; she was actually stricken with polio and was in an Iron Lung.  Mom complained that with the crushing weight of over 80 plus dog pounds placed upon her, she had lost feeling in her extremities, and instead of the warmth and movements stimulating healing and blood flow, the crushing weight was causing paralysis.  Mom further hypothesized that perhaps the crushing weight of 80 plus dog pounds AND all those natural vapors were causing her lungs to be incapable of breathing independently; much like the polio victims of bygone days who were forced to breath inside an iron cylinder.

Sophie and I assured Mom that we had proven qualifications to provide Compression Therapy, and if she would simply submit to our crushing, er, compression, then she would breathe better quite soon and her body would heal quickly due to our body heat, vast amounts of vaporage, and our ministrations.  Mom either soon submitted, or passed out, for all too soon she was up and about her normal duties, proving that Compression Therapy IS the best natural healing method available.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Synchronized Sleeping with Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/805718</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 20 Nov 2012 05:25:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/805718</guid>
		<description>I do not know how Dad could possible think that he is anything but loved and adored.  Or simply used ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I do not know how Dad could possible think that he is anything but loved and adored.  Or simply used.

It is a well known fact that Dad does not like any Dog Parts to touch him while he sleeps on the Concrete Queen.  The Concrete Queen Mattress is almost 20 years old -- it was one of the first purchases of Mom and Dad's marriage, but as the name "Concrete Queen" would suggest, the mattress is as firm as the day that Dad chose it for it's kinship to sleeping on, well, concrete.  (The other first purchase was a dishwasher.  Dad informed Mom prior to marriage that he did not "do dishes."  This did not sit well with Mom, so in order to not remain a bachelor, Dad immediately purchased a convertible dishwasher; one that was on wheels that could later be installed into the cabinetry when the kitchen was remodeled and room was made for it.)

Anyhoodles, last night Dad was forced to suffer through dog parts touching him, but I think he must appreciate the coordination of the effort.

There was Me, Pennie, curled up at Dad's lower legs and feet.

There was Sophie curled up at Dad's bottom.

There was Mom, curled up at Dad's back and neck.

All three of us were in basically the same position, snuggled up against Dad, completely synchronized.  He "should" have felt either loved, smothered, or used.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where does a Pennie Dog Lay Her Head?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/804752</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 11 Nov 2012 15:57:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/804752</guid>
		<description>I don't know where I belong anymore.  This weekend was a flurry of cleaning, sorting, hammering, and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I don't know where I belong anymore.  This weekend was a flurry of cleaning, sorting, hammering, and laundry.  It is not over.  It has just begun.

Middle Lad and Little Lad had two loft bed beds in what was supposed to be their room.  Despite being the largest room in the house, the room with two lofts was not large enough to keep those bickering labs separated. With Oldest Lad moved off to Louisville, Middle Lad had taken to sleeping in Oldest Lad's room.

However, now Little Lad is back in his original room; the room that he started in as a baby (except when he was a baby he usually slept in the room with Mom and Dad.)  But he started out having his own room, that he didn't sleep in, until he fed less frequently.  Dad was able to take apart Little Lad's Loft Bed.  When he built the Lofts Dad told Mom they were "never coming down," but but that was just another lie that Mom believed.  Mom can be very gullible. In reality, one loft was disassembled and reassembled, for Little Lad's new locale.

Wee Lass moved over into Oldest Lad's room. Middle Lad moved back into the room that used to have two lofts, but now just has one loft.

Sophie's crate remains in the Big Room, now housing only Middle Lad, and of course Sophie, when she needs crating.  Since this home is in a constant state of recycle of beds, furniture and clothes, Sophie's crate was originally Samson's crate.  Samson was 80 pounds, so Sophie should not complain that her Royal Throne Crate is too small.

While Middle Lad was sleeping in Oldest Lad's room, on Oldest Lad's Twin XL bed, I frequently spent the night sleeping with Middle Lad.  Sometimes Sophie joined us, or Sophie slept with Middle Lad and I slept with Mom and Dad.

I can no longer sleep with Oldest Lad because he moved away.

I can no longer sleep with Middle Lad because he moved UP.  He moved UP back onto the Loft Bed he had been avoiding due to avoiding Middle Lad.  I "could" climb the ladder, but I won't.

Where do I sleep?  Obviously at night I shall sleep with Mom (and Dad, when Dad is "in town.")

Do I sleep with Wee Lass?  I have never had a strong bond with Wee Lass.  When she came home, no one asked Nannie Pennie if Nannie Pennie suddenly wanted to take on the care of a toddler.  Wee Lass was just brought home from Guatemala and I was expected, without prior consultation, to rise up and care for another child.  Mulligan, who was here at the time, was quite happy with Wee Lass.  He just cared that Mom had room on her lap for him.  She did.  Mulligan on one side of her lap, and Wee Lass on the other side of her lap.  Mulligan just thought of Wee Lass as a new Pack Member.

This thing is going to take a while to sort out.  I begrudgingly napped on Wee Lass's bed today, sporting a nervous look on my face.  Sophie had no problem napping on Wee Lass's bed.  Sophie is too self-centered to think about anything but where her next soft spot is.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sore Paw</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/804281</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 7 Nov 2012 14:19:40 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/804281</guid>
		<description>I have a sore paw today.  Unlike Sophathetic Queen Sophine, I have been aloof and stoic about my inj ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have a sore paw today.  Unlike Sophathetic Queen Sophine, I have been aloof and stoic about my injury.  Mom only realized I was injured because I was licking my paw obsessively, and she thought she would take her life into her hands and insist upon having a look.  Before my Pennie Jaws snapped Mom's probing hands away, Mom was able to ascertain that on my right paw, the hindmost paw pad had a big chunk ripped and just hanging there.  It is unclear how such an injury might have happened.  Mom suspects that I may have been injured chasing something in the back yard.  There have been far too many intruders in my yard, of late.  Yesterday afternoon, I chased an antlered buck right out of my back yard!  I thought perhaps he thought my 0.46 acres of Suburbia was a Polling Place.  This morning the neighbor's cat was sitting all smug, fat and fluffy, right under my oak tree.  The squirrels are busy gathering acorns from the oak tree.

Mom is trying to give me her love, attention and first aid.  She is trying to attune to my feelings.  I am rejecting her.  Mom respects that.  She understands my need to be stoic and non-vulnerable.  My snarling jaws reinforce this message.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Unsatisfactory Humiloween</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/803633</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 2 Nov 2012 07:15:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/803633</guid>
		<description>Humiloween this year was far from satisfactory.  The last couple years I have been forced to dress a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Humiloween this year was far from satisfactory.  The last couple years I have been forced to dress as a Cheese Coney Dog.  For those of you NOT from Cincinnati; a cheese coney is this:  hotdog in a bun, plus chili, plus cheese, and then add on mustard and/or onion.

To make me a Cheese Coney Pennie, Mom added yellow yarn to the hot dog costume.  It already had mustard.  Mom did not add onions, because dogs should only have onions in limited quantities, such as the amount eaten when cleaning out the leftovers from a casserole.

This humiloween, it was cold and rainy, after several days of cold and rainy.  Mom decided that I was NOT going to go trick or treating.  Mom did not want to give me a bath at Eight O'Clock at night, when Trick or Treat was over.  I admit that i was not overly fond of the Cheese Coney Pennie Costume, but I really enjoyed all the attention that I got while I was wearing it.  It was fun to walk around and have ME, Pennie, be commented upon and adored.

I do NOT like ungrateful, costumed children knocking on my door.  Sure, a lot of them say "thank you," but as a lot, they are ungrateful, I just know it, or they would not be bothering ME, Pennie, forcing ME to be banished to the basement.  I did not behave in my basement banishment.  The basement door suffered greatly from my clawing at it.

I don't care that I further damaged the basement door.  It was an unsatisfactory end to an unsatisfactory Humiloween.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not adjusted</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/802103</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Oct 2012 15:23:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/802103</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad stopped by on Friday, for his first visit since moving away.  I wiggled myself so hard th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad stopped by on Friday, for his first visit since moving away.  I wiggled myself so hard that I am surprised that I did not turn myself inside out, or into a Pennie Knot.  Then I settled into a funk.  I was simply not fooled.  I slept all night with Oldest Lad, snuggled close, but I just "knew" that this was just a visit. I knew this was NOT like when he lived at University and even though Oldest Lad seldom slept at home; MY HOME was still Oldest Lad's Home.  No.  I spent Saturday looking terrible, and Mom put my Thundershirt on me.  Oldest Lad did buy me a giant pizzle, before he left to go back to Louisville.  I appreciated the thought, but I am still depressed.

Sophie, on the other paw, acted very disturbing.  Sophie has always been "obsessed" with Oldest Lad, as opposed to "loving" Oldest Lad, as I do.  Sophie is NOT the type of dog who goes around licking people.  She rarely gives kisses.  All Friday night, she kept TASTING Oldest Lad on his head.  There is no better description.  Oldest Lad would get up to get something; he'd return and Sophie would TASTE him on his head.  All night long, whenever Oldest Lad changed his sleep position; Sophie would TASTE him.  Granted, Oldest Lad had given himself an incredibly bad, but highly affordable (he did it himself) buzz haircut, which DOES feel good on the canine tongue, but Sophie went beyond just enjoying the roughness upon her tongue.  It made me thing of Gollum, and The Ring, "My Precious," from "The Lord of the Rings," by JRR Tolkien.  It was just plain creepy to keep witnessing Sophie TASTE Oldest Lad, every few minutes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ungrateful Mothers!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/798884</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 27 Sep 2012 13:03:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/798884</guid>
		<description>A Secret Admirer left my Mom a wonderful gift in the front yard this morning:  A Raccoon Corpse!

 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ A Secret Admirer left my Mom a wonderful gift in the front yard this morning:  A Raccoon Corpse!

Mom was completely grossed out, appalled, upset, and in tears when she realized that there was a perfectly good dead raccoon body laying in the front yard.  Human females are so difficult to understand.

Sophie and I both were outside this morning, before Mom discovered the dead raccoon.  I am quite certain that the Secret Admirer would not want his/her cover blown, so I will NOT confess as to whether it was ME, Pennie, that brought this raccoon to it's fatal state.  I will venture that I have been known to kill and/or consume:  moles, rabbits, mice and rats.  But I do not want to spoil Mom's surprise, so I'll just keep her guessing as to who the Secret Admirer is that left such a wonderful dead raccoon!

Once Mom got over her tears, she got to cleaning.  Despite cleaning the bed linens just yesterday, she began to wash them all again.  She washed off the couch and the recliner chair.  Instead of thinking of how thoughtful it was of the Secret Admirer to think of Mom, all Mom is doing is think of Raccoon Corpse Germs being all over the house.

Humans just have no capacity to appreciate kind gestures.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Extreme Compression Therapy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/798585</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 25 Sep 2012 05:27:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/798585</guid>
		<description>Sophie, Mom and I have been working on Extreme Compression Therapy for each other.  Oldest Lad moved ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sophie, Mom and I have been working on Extreme Compression Therapy for each other.  Oldest Lad moved away over the weekend, and I was picking up on the signals for weeks.  It was obvious from all the boxes that he was going away, and I just knew that he wasn't just going off to University, this time.  On Sunday morning, Mom realized that I looked "just terrible."  She put on my Compression Therapy shirt, the Thundershirt, and she gave me a sedative, the sedative that I usually take only in July, for the Annual Blowing Up Suburbia Event.  Sophie was doing her Rhythmic Shaking Routine:  she vibrates her whole body every few seconds in a giant upset twitch.  She usually reserves that for when she is sick or injured, but I think that her mind was feeling injured, so Mom popped a Benadryl into her mouth, to help her a little.

We had to stay home while Mom and Dad helped Oldest Lad move, but we were there for them when they came home.  They took us for a very depressing walk, but said we "just needed to get out."

Then we have been trying to Compress Mom as much as we can.  She needs her Head Compressed, and so do we.  Mom could just feel how hard we were Compressing her -- it was like we were trying to compress all three of us at once, in a giant act of Extreme Compression Therapy.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I gave him the best years of my life only to be cast aside.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/796617</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:29:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/796617</guid>
		<description>I never thought it would come to this.  It was ME, Pennie that came into Oldest Lad's life as he beg ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I never thought it would come to this.  It was ME, Pennie that came into Oldest Lad's life as he began his senior year in Public High School.  I tutored him through AP Physics, Calculus, and mentored him how to be the Alto Saxophone Section Leader.  I was Nurse Pennie, day and night when he had his first ACL Knee Surgery.  When Oldest Lad went off to University, I was still there for him.  I nursed him through his second ACL Knee Surgery, even while the entire family was grieving the loss of Mulligan, I was wearing my Nurse Pennie Cap, keeping his leg healing while our hearts were breaking.

Now Oldest Lad is heading off to become Officer Oldest Lad.  He is taking his car to have all traces of ME, Pennie out of his car.  A standard at-home cleaning won't do; he is having the car detailed.

Oldest Lad claims that he "wants to have the insulating warmth of Pennie and Sophie hair surrounding him at all times," but he must remove all dog hair from his vehicle so that no stray hair may mar his uniform when he appears for daily inspections.

I know when I am being cast aside. Five Years.  I gave Five Years of my life to get Oldest Lad to finish High School and achieve a University Degree.  Now all traces of Pennie must be removed.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>On the Subject of Counter Cruising</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/795703</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 3 Sep 2012 15:10:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/795703</guid>
		<description>It has come to my attention that humans do not like dogs to &quot;Counter Cruise.&quot;  First off, I think it ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It has come to my attention that humans do not like dogs to "Counter Cruise."  First off, I think it is ridiculous to call it a "Counter Cruise" or "Counter Cruising."  Cars, particularly convertible cars, CRUISE.  Dogs do not. Except Dad's convertibles, which are perpetually in pieces on the floor of the Second Garage/Workshop, or leaking toxic substances onto the driveway.

This is what I call "Counter Cruising:"  Helping Myself.

I jump up onto the counter.  My full Standard American Brown Dog body looks absolutely stunning on the backdrop of Mom's Quartz Countertop.  It's as if she had ME, Pennie, in mind when she picked it out, coordinating the countertop to her future Standard American Brown Dog, as opposed to the usual matching ritual of countertop to floor and cabinets.

Sophie stretches herself up on her hind legs, stretches her Sophie neck out as far as it can go, and without getting a cramp in her tongue, is able to get to an amazing amount of food/and or non-food substances that are on the counter.

Mom encourages EVERYONE in the family to:  "Help themselves."

Wee Lass is always asking for a "naggin," or napkin, and she is told to get her own napkin.
Little Lad is expected to get his own water, milk and other beverages.
There is an entire, yes entire cabinet devoted to snacks, that Little Lad, Middle Lad, and Oldest Lad, plus all their smelly friends, freely "help themselves."

Mulligan was capable of opening the cabinets, until Wee Lass arrived and Mulli/Wee Lass safety latches were placed upon the cabinets.  He was a huge fan of Kellog's Pop Tarts, and would freely "help himself," to a silver bagged treat of two Pop Tarts, taking the bag into the Living Room to open with his opposable-thumbed paws.

Why then, am I facing constant criticism for trying to make Mom's life easier by "helping myself?"  She is in constant disarray for the piles of dirty clothes, wet towels, dishes, and other items that the family leaves laying about because they do not help Mom out.

All I am trying to do is be a "Good Helper," by "Helping Myself."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Biscoff Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/795096</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Aug 2012 12:53:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/795096</guid>
		<description>As I am Dogster Diary Central Daily Pick, I decided to reward myself with a bit of counter cruising. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As I am Dogster Diary Central Daily Pick, I decided to reward myself with a bit of counter cruising.

Biscoff Spread.  As based on the evidence of teeth marks, it took me no time at all to open the red-lidded Biscoff Spread and slurp up most of the contents.  I have to say that this new addition to the Biscoff product line most certainly lives up to it's name, and I highly recommend it!  It needs no bagel or crackers to spread it upon, but is perfect served straight from the jar, in the living room, of course, as it is a bit on the fancy side.

Several powder sugar donuts.  The Kroger brand powder sugar donuts may not be quite as tasty as the perennial favorite boxed brand, "Hostess," but for $1 for a box of 12, these sugary morsels slid right down my anxiously waiting lips.  Do not think me a glutton, for I only ate five.

To finish off my counter cruise I consumed half a loaf of sliced bread.  Plain, as I ate the Biscoff Spread straight from the jar.

Perhaps Mom will have updates at a further date on how the Biscoff Spread impacts the back yard.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie at Fault</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/794268</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 23 Aug 2012 06:28:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/794268</guid>
		<description>Wednesday morning was the first day of the new school year for Middle Lad and for Little Lad.
I sle ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Wednesday morning was the first day of the new school year for Middle Lad and for Little Lad.
I slept in.  Sophie slept in as well, but since no one ever expects her to lift a paw around here, it is ME, Pennie that gets all the blame.

I did not get up with Middle Lad.  I did not make sure that he took his ADD medication.  Mom did, but it is ME, Nurse Pennie, that is supposed to supervise and make sure that on the way from his hand to his mouth, Middle Lad does not lose FO-CUS, get distracted, and leave the ADD medication somewhere.

I did not bid Middle Lad a fond farewell.

I did not get up with Little Lad.  No, I was still blissfully snoring away, with no thoughts of my duties as Nannie Pennie.

Then when Little Lad went out for the School Bus, I was still sleeping and the School Bus did NOT stop.  The driver drove right on through the Stop Sign, and paid no attention to the four boys, one of which was Little Lad, that were waiting excitedly for their first day of the new school year.

Of course, if Nannie Pennie had been outside, in CHARGE, the bus driver would have stopped.

Even though I don't feel particularly remorseful, I did "act" repentent the rest of the day; mostly to make sure that I got my usual treats.  I licked myself, and then walked right over to Mom's plate and licked her mashed potatoes.  She was NOT happy, but did not give me the mashed potatoes.

THIS morning I did not get up with Middle Lad, but I did get up and make sure Little Lad got on his way; besides Mom was making a lunch for Little Lad so I needed to make sure there weren't any dirty dishes or scraps that I needed to clean.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Slacking Sophie, Working Dog Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/793578</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Aug 2012 13:07:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/793578</guid>
		<description>As I wrote in my previous entry, I have been working my paws off in the Shop, helping with the Band  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As I wrote in my previous entry, I have been working my paws off in the Shop, helping with the Band Props.  I am covered in sawdust and exhausted.

Around mid-day, I came in from outside, along with her Royal Highness, Queen Sophine, while The Prop Crew (without The Prop Dog) headed off to The Hardware Store.

When The Prop Crew returned, Oldest Lad came inside the house and asked ME, Pennie, if I wanted to come outside and work.  I jumped up eagerly, and ran out to the shop.  Sophie just stared at Oldest Lad.  Then he asked her if she would like to come outside and lay in the sun.  At that point she jumped up and headed for the back porch, to bask in the sun, while I worked.  It's obvious who is the working dog around her (Me,) and that Sophie considers herself Management.

Just a few moments ago, Oldest Lad came inside to grab a few beers for The Prop Crew.  Who came inside with him?  Sophie.  There was Sophie, eagerly licking condensation off the chilled beer bottles, as if "Sophie" had been out working as Shop Dog all day, instead of ME, Shop Dog Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Prop Committee Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/793532</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Aug 2012 06:51:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/793532</guid>
		<description>Just when I thought I had as many job titles as one dog could bear, I was thrust into a new position ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just when I thought I had as many job titles as one dog could bear, I was thrust into a new position:  Band Volunteer Pennie.  Yes, I have been forced to join the ranks of Band Volunteers and I am now Prop Committee Pennie.

The Prop Pieces began to arrive at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia on Wednesday night.  As I shall never actually be allowed to attend a Marching Band Show, I will simply have to visualize that somehow I am helping to make a City Scape.  As the pieces were unloaded from the Graphic Artist's Van, I escorted each piece into Dad's Workshop/2nd Garage. 

In order to make way for building the City Scape, one of Dad's convertibles had to be moved out of the garage.  He actually was able to get it started enough to move it out into the driveway.  The "other" convertible has to remain in the Workshop/2nd Garage, for it is not actually in "Convertible" form right now, but is in "pieces" form.  Perhaps it is like one of those Hasbro Transformer toys that shall one day rise out of the rusty, scattered pieces and actually become an actual vehicle.

But i digress.

I have been in the Workshop nonstop as Prop Pennie, ever since the Prop Project began.  I now have a permanent odor of wood dust and shavings about my fur.  Me, Pennie, who trembles at a firework and shakes during thunderstorms, is Shop Supervisor Pennie when it comes to Power Tools.  The whir of the drills, the roar of the saws, are all music to my ears, and I escort each piece of plywood as Dad moves it.

I do hope that in the Band Program, when credits are given to the Prop Committee, that my name, Pennie, is given due recognition.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Constant Criticism</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/792692</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:43:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/792692</guid>
		<description>It is quite clear which dog has the only Work Ethic around this 0.46 Acres of Suburbia, and that wou ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is quite clear which dog has the only Work Ethic around this 0.46 Acres of Suburbia, and that would be ME, Pennie.

These past several days, once again Daisy has been visiting while Daisy's Man and Oldest Lad dressed up like penguins and attended a wedding.  Oldest Lad sent Mom a picture of him in his Penguin Tuxedo and I do hope that looking like that does not cause Oldest Man to attract another Other Woman.  I have been just fine without having Another Other Woman, since Other Woman became Just Friends.

Anyhoodles, there is more work here than one Standard American Brown Dog can handle, especially with an extra house-guest, Daisy, and Queen Sophine never willing to get her paws dirty by doing any work.  Mom and Dad went out last night, leaving Me, Pennie, in charge.  I decided that the best place for me to survey my domain was to lay upon the Kitchen Table.  Just as I had become comfortable, laying like a Standard American Brown Sphinx (but less hot and sandy) upon the Kitchen Table, Dad called because Mom remembered that she had forgotten to put the Meatloaf away.

Little Lad forced me to remove myself from my Sphinx-like pose upon the Kitchen Table.

Then this afternoon, after lunch, I immediately decided I had better clear the Kitchen Table, before any food spoiled.  Wee Las had not consumed all of her Yogurt.  Unlike Queen Sophine, who eats everything, and then just has vomiting or diarrhea with no regard to anybody; I DO have a pickier palate.  I do NOT like Yogurt.  However, I was determined to get the lunch dishes cleared.  There I was, unhappily licking up berry-flavored yogurt, when Mom caught me, and forced me to remove myself from the kitchen table, again.  She gave me no sympathy for the pitiful look of dismay that I had about my face, as I do NOT like the texture of Yogurt, nor the tendency of yogurt to cling to my whiskers.  At least I was willing to help clear the lunch dishes, unlike the other lazy dogs in the house!  Yet all I face is criticism.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Will she stop at nothing?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/791903</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 4 Aug 2012 18:15:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/791903</guid>
		<description>I make no bones about ME, Pennie being not only the Alpha here, but the only dog in the family that  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I make no bones about ME, Pennie being not only the Alpha here, but the only dog in the family that has any work ethic.  Period.

Today is MY Birthday, and this is what Sophie has done:  vomit all day.  It started last night, when she yakked on the front porch, and then yakked next to Mom's side of the bed.  She spent the night in her crate.  The Royal Crate Throne has been moved to underneath Little Lad's Loft Bed.  The upper stairs hallway has begun it's human renovation.  The Royal Crate Throne had to be moved as it usually resides in the upstairs hallway.  Dad was voting for the Royal Crate Throne to be disassembled, but fortunately Mom won the argument; stating that as soon as the crate was put away then Sophie would have one of her stomach upsets, or become Exploding Sophie, Weapon of Fear and Terror.  (Mom has valid premonitions.)  

As Interior Designer Pennie, I have been attempting to renovate the upstairs hallway ever since I arrived in Suburbia. I need not provide a summation of all my projects, but suffice it to say that Mom has put her foot down and said that whatever the new floor is to be; IT WILL BE WASHABLE.  My attempts at removing the paint from the doorway to Oldest Lad's were NOT a failure after all -- this week Oldest Lad began to remove the wallpaper, to match the pile of paint chips that I left just this past Saturday on the horrendously ugly hallway carpeting.

Anyhoodles, I digress.  Queen Sophine has vomited all day, purposely to garner ALL the attention away from ME, Pennie!  When it is Sophie's Birthday I shall have to do something better, to bring MY DUE attention.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sophathetic</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/790975</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 Jul 2012 07:43:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/790975</guid>
		<description>I have been exhausted since my return from Camp Kennel.  I have spent most of my time napping, in an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been exhausted since my return from Camp Kennel.  I have spent most of my time napping, in an attempt to recuperate from all that went on at Camp Kennel -- none of which I shall reveal; for what happens at Camp Kennel stays at Camp Kennel.

In the meantime, Sophie has been completely Sophathetic.  She has even changed her bark, bark, bark.  I did not think that it was possible to change one's voice, but Sophie has changed her bark, bark, bark, to become a Sophathetic bark, bark, bark.  When Mom first heard this, Sophie was in the backyard, and Mom thought something horrible was happening; that perhaps a coyote or some other vermin had entrenched upon my 0.46 acres of Suburbia, and snatched Sophie up in it's jaws.

No.  Sophie has just become Sophathetic.  I am impressed that Sophie can jump to new heights, in her desperate attempts to garner even more attention.  For a dog with no work ethic, I did not know she could even launch herself from the ground, unless it was to grab Mom's lap before I had a chance to arrange myself into Mom's lap.

I remain napping, Stoic Pennie, as I sleep off my Kennel Hangover, and try to spend "some" quality time with Mom, when Sophathetic is not barking her Sophathetic bark and jumping all over Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Vacation PupDate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/790831</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 29 Jul 2012 06:53:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/790831</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad abandoned Sophie and I to Camp Kennel for a week, while they took the family away for a  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad abandoned Sophie and I to Camp Kennel for a week, while they took the family away for a vacation.  What happens a Camp Kennel, stays at Camp Kennel, but I have  been exhausted since I returned home.

Oldest Lad picked me up early, as he vacationed for but a few days.  It really made no sense, as he is completely unemployed right now; an Unemployed College Graduate, and isn't life just one giant vacation for him now?  Until the student loan payments kick in, I suppose.

Anyhoodles, Oldest Lad made the mistake of thinking that he could actually leave the house after retrieving Sophie and Me.  He forgot that in spite of me being Alpha Pennie, I do suffer from Separation Anxiety, and it did not escape my attention that the rest of my family was missing, AND that Oldest Lad was moving quantities of bins and cheap Target furniture from his apartment, back home.  My Missing Family and all the moving items made me express my Separation Anxiety in my usual mode:  Interior Designer Pennie.

I first expressed my utter dismay that the living room carpet continues to be ugly, by peeing on it.  I then headed upstairs, and reminded the family the Upstairs Hall/Foyer renovation project is completely behind schedule.  I peed in the middle of the upstairs hallway, and then proceeded to the woodwork.  Sophie had been safely ensconced inside Oldest Lad's bedroom as sometimes I take out my frustration upon her, or we simply find trouble; as in the Oreos and my poor tail incident.  I started in on the woodwork of Oldest Lad's door.  I have to admit that Dad actually did a very nice job when he re-painted that door and door-frame, because I was not able to accomplish much.  When Mom and Dad returned home from their vacation, Mom sprung Sophie from the room, but only discovered a giant pile of paint flecks, for all my work on the door and door frame.  Perhaps I was just too tired from my days at the kennel to do an adequate job on the door and doorframe, but there is always the next time that I turn into Interior Designer Pennie for me to really get to work on it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What?  I do have standards.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/789571</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Jul 2012 09:07:18 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/789571</guid>
		<description>This morning Sophie and I took Mom out for her exercise.  It is much cooler this morning, after the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Sophie and I took Mom out for her exercise.  It is much cooler this morning, after the record high heat, both outside and inside!  On Wednesday there were major thunder storms and the power to Suburbia was knocked out.  The family was forced to open the windows to both the hot air AND the allergens.  Mom and Middle Lad could tolerate the heat; it was letting in all the allergies that was bothering them.  Yes, they can be as Sophathetic as Sophie herself!

Here is what Sophie and I discovered:  there is a LOT more noise in Suburbia when the windows are open!  Electric, Phone, Cable, and Tree Removal Trucks were going up and down the street all day, adding to the general revelry.  Sophie and I got in a LOT of barking.

Mid-day on Thursday the power came back on and the house slowly resumed what passes for normal function.

Anyhoodles, on this morning's walk, we came upon a group of boys, probably around age 8 to 10, playing in a yard.  There was a cat in their yard, which obviously did not belong in that yard.  Just as the boys saw Sophie and me approaching, they KICKED THE CAT OUT ACROSS THE STREET INTO MY PATH.  On purpose.  Needless to say, I lengthened Mom's arm in an attempt to chase the cat, but then I felt bad.  Despite my hatred of Cats, it was mean and nasty of those boys to kick the cat, send it into the street AND send it right into the path of two dogs.  I stood down my reactive stance, and let the poor cat escape.

I am all for chasing the neighbor's cat, which daily passes across my 0.46 acres of Suburbia, but even Me, Pennie, has standards when it come to what is just and fair.  Mom told the boys that she did not think they did a nice thing to the cat.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie, Pawsonal Assistant</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/788634</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 13 Jul 2012 06:01:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/788634</guid>
		<description>I have finally received some recompense for all of my hard work.  I have retrieved my photo of ME, P ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have finally received some recompense for all of my hard work.  I have retrieved my photo of ME, Pennie, as Pennie Pawsonal Assistant.

I work my paws to the bone on a daily basis.  In addition to managing the Family, while letting Mom think that she is managing the Family, I function as Pennie Pawsonal Assistant, managing Dad in his JOB.

I seldom get credit for all that I do.

Until Now.

Dad made a presentation in Northern Ohio on Thursday.  Whose picture did Dad post on his screensaver, as the picture for all to see?  Not a picture of Wee Lass dressed as a princess.  Not a picture of Little Lad.  

It was ME, Pennie Pawsonal Assistant, that stole the show.  It was made clear who is working her paws to the bone, behind the scenes, to keep this whole Life in Suburbia operating.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Offended</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/787672</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Jul 2012 08:38:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/787672</guid>
		<description>I am quite offended that Sophie thinks so little of me during my recent trauma due to the Fireworks. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am quite offended that Sophie thinks so little of me during my recent trauma due to the Fireworks.  I work my paws to the bone around my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia, on a daily basis.  Sophie has been asked to actually get her paws dirty for a matter of a few days while I suffered an anxiety attack.  Even an Alpha Girrrl such as myself is subject to the whims and woes of the mind and loud firework assaults.  What am I to think if I ever suffer an injury or illness that requires me to be out for more than a few days?  Based on Sophie's complete lack of sympathy for me, she will no doubt be useless.

As was apparent with Oldest Lad's foray into Rental Dogs; fostering Sophie, Little Dud, I mean Little Dude, Karo, the others I forget, and of course Long-Term-Rental-Dog Camille, I am not keen on having a third dog.  However, if Sophie is going to make it so clear that having to dog-up for a few days is such an inconvenience, then perhaps I shall have to interview another dog -- to replace Sophie; after all Dad would never allow a third dog here.  Does Sophie think that perhaps "she" is in a tenuous position, and her disparaging comments only make "her" look worse?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pink Floyd Pennie Independence</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/787424</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Jul 2012 17:39:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/787424</guid>
		<description>I am spending my &quot;Annual Blowing Up Suburbia&quot; celebration as Pink Floyd Pennie. 

Pink Floyd Penni ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am spending my "Annual Blowing Up Suburbia" celebration as Pink Floyd Pennie. 

Pink Floyd Pennie has been sedated since the evening of July 3rd, when Suburbia had the audacity to begin a hellacious assault as my family was taking ME, Sophie and the dogs that Oldest Lad is Dog-Sitting, out for a walk.  We were at about the farthest point on our Walk Circle when the outright assault set in.  Over-Grown Calbert, Shamu, and I pulled everyone all the way home.  Sophie, in her usual self-absorbed state did not seem disturbed.  She no doubt thought the fireworks were some sort of celebration of HER, Queen Sophine.

My first dose of sedative was given as soon as I pulled Mom's left arm and shoulder, then the rest of her, into the house.

Mom won't let anyone put her iPod Nano Ear Buds in her ears, even ME, Pennie, but I don't need some silly MP3 player to remind me of the Pink Floyd lyrics, Pink Floyd Pennie, adaptation:

"Comfortably Numb."

"O.K.
Just a little Cheese Wad.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good."

I hope that Thursday gives some respite to my ears, while I am certain that the weekend will no doubt bring more stupidity from over-mortgaged Suburbanites wishing to remove their own appendages and burn down their own homes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Reconstituted or Revitalized?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785881</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 24 Jun 2012 09:31:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785881</guid>
		<description>It seems that no matter how carefully Mom scans the yard, she always misses at least one dog poop.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It seems that no matter how carefully Mom scans the yard, she always misses at least one dog poop.  Mom is definitely the Chief Yard Waste Attendee -- Dad will clean up the yard, but Mom is just "better at it."  Everybody needs skills that they are good at, and yard waste clean-up is a skill Mom has mastered.

Except that one or two dog poops always escape her vigilant eyes.

THIS morning, Mom went out to pick up the yard, and due to the lack of rain, and the heat; all the poops were dry.  It makes the Yard Waste Pick-Up easy and "less unpleasant."

Then Mom set the lawn sprinkler out in the front yard, to perk up the crunchy grass.

When Mom went to move the lawn sprinkler, she discovered that one poop that she had inevitably missed.  It was no longer dry, but had become "reconstituted."

I like to think of it as "revitalized."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nannie Pennie, at work</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785469</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 21 Jun 2012 08:34:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785469</guid>
		<description>Admittedly, I was NOT pleased several years ago when Wee Lass was sprung upon me.  Yes, when I arriv ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Admittedly, I was NOT pleased several years ago when Wee Lass was sprung upon me.  Yes, when I arrived here, it was quite evident that I had recently given birth to a litter of pups, but that did not mean that I was anxious to take on another Pup in addition to the Three Lads.  Regardless, I have risen to the task, helping Wee Lass with pre-reading, discipline (Mom needs to learn that growling, baring the teeth, and perhaps the threat of a nip,  is an excellent means to getting Pups to do what is expected of them,) and all the other jobs that I must do as Nannie Pennie.

Last night it was quite evident that Wee Lass is indeed being influenced by my excellent Pup-raising skills.

Dad and Wee Lass were playing ball.  Normally it is DAD and ME, Pennie, that play ball, but the YMCA, despite it's stated anti-discrimination policies, does not allow me to have a pass and use the facilities.

Dad and Wee Lass were playing ball in the YMCA pool.  Wee Lass had the Ball and this is what she told Dad to do:  "Dad, FETCH!"

Perhaps I shall be able to raise Wee Lass properly, after all.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Exploding Suburbia</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785149</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 19 Jun 2012 08:02:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/785149</guid>
		<description>I like my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.  I have vowed to protect my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia, as well as it' ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I like my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia.  I have vowed to protect my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia, as well as it's occupants.  While my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia is not "Prime Real Estate," it is also not the ghetto, the "sticks;" in other words, the occupants, or at least most, must have achieved at least some legal or illegal means of obtaining a mortgage or a fair amount of cash.

Why do certain denizens of Suburbia wish to Blow it Up?  Normally, the Annual Blowing Up of Suburbia centers around the Fourth of July, America's Celebration of Independence.  I have watched the Musical "1776," ad nauseum with Mom, and I do not believe the Founding Fathers intended the 4th of July to include Blowing Up Suburbia.  All the extremely boring TV shows on "NatGeo" and the "History Channel" make no mention of Blowing Up Suburbia as being one of the "Unalienable Rights" mentioned in the Declaration of Independence.

THIS year, a certain denizen, whose duly mortgaged home has but two houses separating it from MY 0.46 Acres, decided to start Blowing Up Suburbia on Memorial Day. Neighbors have made mention that the Random Daily Exploding Booms have been scaring dogs and small children.  (This was NOT MOM.  Mom knows better than to set off something like this.)

A "Neighborhood email" was generated that expressed the Neighborly Displeasure with the Random Daily Exploding Booms, and the effect it was having upon dogs and small children.  The email mentioned that, by the way, certain members of the neighborhood are duly badged police officers and "know" who is setting off the Random Daily Exploding Booms.

The Gauntlet has been thrown down.  The Random Daily Exploding Booms have now increased.  My nerves are frayed.  There is still 15 days until the "actual" Annual Blowing Up of Suburbia, yet the Explosions have been going on since the end of May, and are now getting ramped up due to the Explosive EMail.

Dad has those silly foam earplugs, but they don't fit my luxurious bi-fold ears.  I could listen to Mom's medidogitations on her IPod, but again, her earbuds are not meant to fit my luxurious bi-fold ears, and Mom would no doubt explode if anyone, even me, put her earbuds inside their ears.

I think the current plan will have to be daily Benadryl, the Thundershirt, and then actual Sedation when the Explosions become all out War.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Grilled Cheese Girl</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/784561</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 15 Jun 2012 13:28:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/784561</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad had a female over to the house today, for Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup.  Female Friend  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad had a female over to the house today, for Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup.  Female Friend paid quite a bit of attention to both ME, Pennie, and to Sophie as well.  There was a bit of a conundrum, however, over proper allocation of the Grilled Cheese.

Oldest Lad made one sandwich for Wee Lass, one for Little Lad, one for Female Friend, TWO for himself, and then Mom said she would eat ONE and a HALF, leaving a Half Sandwich for ME and Sophie.  Plus Mom always leaves exactly one corner of a sandwich uneaten.  I am assuming that Mom was properly trained by the dog she had as a child, Duchess, to leave a portion for the dog.

According to MY calculations there was one half a grilled cheese sandwich, plus Mom's corner, that were to be distributed to ME, Pennie.  Perhaps a bit to Sophie.

Out of the blue, Little Lad asked for more Grilled Cheese!  I could not believe the words that came out of Mom's mouth:  "There is still a half sandwich in the kitchen."  My Half.  Little Lad went into the kitchen, returning with cheeks stuffed full of MY half sandwich.

The look of shock and dispair on my face must have forced Mom to realize the error of her ways, for she decided to give up HER half sandwich, to ME, Pennie, and gave her usual uneaten corner to Sophie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Making my presence known</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/784137</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 Jun 2012 09:52:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/784137</guid>
		<description>This morning Mom managed to sneak off to the bathroom without me.  As she was doing whatever humans  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Mom managed to sneak off to the bathroom without me.  As she was doing whatever humans do inside there, she heard a huge snuffle from under the door.

It was just ME, Pennie, letting out a great sighing breath of air, to let Mom know that I was waiting outside the bathroom door.  She could take the meaning as 1.  I was there to lend a paw if need be OR 2.  There was no escape, resistance from her life of oppression was futile, and I was just sending a subtle reminder.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Repressed Dogs</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/782686</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 2 Jun 2012 08:46:05 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/782686</guid>
		<description>Last night Middle Lad had several of his sweaty, stinky video-gaming friends over again for a night  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Middle Lad had several of his sweaty, stinky video-gaming friends over again for a night of video games and pizza.  While Mom feels the need to spray some Vanilla scented air freshener down into the basement after all those teenagers leave, I find them quite enjoyable, especially the food part.

When Dad brought the pizzas home, Mom made sure to serve herself, Wee Lass, and Little Lad first.  Mom has learned that when it comes to teenagers it is best to put Women and Children first, unless one wants to be stuck with Ramen noodles, and then the teens will no doubt decide to eat those too.  Mom was still feeling a little sore over the earlier lunch incident when Middle Lad ate all her cheese sticks.  Mom should have just growled and nipped at Middle Lad's hand as he approached her cheese sticks -- that's my approach, and it works for me.

Anyhoodles, when Wee Lass was finished with her pizza, she abandoned her pizza crusts.  What a waste!  There are Standard American Brown Dogs everywhere just salivating over abandoned pizza crusts.  Not wanting to risk the growth of mold or the spread of disease, I immediately sprang into action, putting my paws up onto the chair of Wee Lass, and then eating the crusts straight from the Wee Lass Plate.

Percussion Friend at that very moment was at the kitchen table, helping himself to more pizza.  He looked in shock at ME, Pennie, eating from the Wee Lass Plate.  Percussion Friend has TWO, yes TWO, Standard Poodles.  Both are TALLER than ME, Pennie.  While I have not been inside Percussion Friend's house; even if HIS Kitchen table is taller than MY Kitchen table, either of those Standard Poodles is easily capable of clearing a plate of food.

Percussion Friend's Poodles must be Repressed Dogs.  What kind of life do those giant curly-haired canines lead if they can't clear a table?  Percussion Friend has TWO little sisters, so there are also no doubt food scrap laden plates on a daily basis.  Does Percussion Friend's Family have a MAID to clear the plates, instead of dogs?

I am quite disturbed to think that those poor Standard Poodles are so Repressed that they cannot help themselves to a plate of pizza crusts.  The generous thing would be to invite the Standard Poodles over to my house, to teach them how to steal a plate of food, but frankly I am just too much Alpha Pennie; they shall have to rise up out of their repression on their own.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not a material dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/782212</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 29 May 2012 11:15:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/782212</guid>
		<description>&quot;Someone&quot; bought a 100 Grand Candy Bar over the weekend.  This candy bar sat upon the upper kitchen  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ "Someone" bought a 100 Grand Candy Bar over the weekend.  This candy bar sat upon the upper kitchen counter from mid-day Saturday, on throughout the weekend, untouched.

This morning Mom and Wee Lass went out to get their Hairs cut.  Although Mom is not a high-maintenance female, she refuses to simply have her hair washed in the shower, and then sheared by Oldest Lad and his clippers, in a buzz cut, which is good enough for Little Lad and Middle Lad.

Anyhoodles, when Mom came home, she discovered an unopened 100 Grand Candy Bar laying upon the floor of the family room.

Sophie puts her wee Sophie paws up on the edge of the kitchen counters, stretches her neck out and her tongue out as far as they can go, but Sophie is not capable of jumping up onto the counters and then grabbing anything off the upper level kitchen counter.  Only a Standard American Brown Dog is capable of jumping up onto the regular counter, and then counter-cruising the upper counter freely, if indeed something like that would ever happen.

Obviously, I am not a Material Dog, for I did not consume the 100 Grand Candy Bar.  No, I am more the down-to-earth type Standard American Brown Dog, and perhaps I would have eaten an entire pan of brownies, or a birthday cake, but a high-value candy bar?  No.  That would have been too excessive for my tastes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog Camille Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/781440</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 May 2012 08:58:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/781440</guid>
		<description>All last summer, in addition to my role as Nannie Pennie, Entertainer Pennie, Music Practice Enforce ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ All last summer, in addition to my role as Nannie Pennie, Entertainer Pennie, Music Practice Enforcer Pennie,  . . . the list is endless; I was forced to play Hostess Pennie to Rental Dog Camille.

Queen Sophine started out as Rental Dog Sophie and became Rent-to-Own Sophie.  I made it clear in a painfully obvious way that only Alpha Pennie can do, that Rental Dog Camille was NOT going to become the Third Dog here at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  It was most painful for Sophie as I seemed to take out all my Alpha Pennie angst upon her, rather than upon Rental Dog Camille.  Rental Dog Camille was actually quite a pleasant pup; perhaps that is why I had such a turbulent time with her here.

Anyhoodles, since September not one bark or whimper has been heard about the status of Camille, other than that she was adopted, eventually.

Lo and behold, last night Oldest Lad happened to run into someone wearing a Circle Tail T-shirt.  He talked to her, and it turns out that the Circle Tail T-Shirt Wearer actually handled Camille's adoption!

Camille is happily living with a single Mom with a 10 year old son.  After spending all summer with Oldest Lad, Middle Lad, Little Lad, Wee Lass, Mom, Dad, Hostess Pennie, and Queen Sophie; Camille had no trouble bonding with her New Mom and New Lad and is alive and well and living somewhere, (thankfully not here.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Out of Reach</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/780491</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 17 May 2012 12:40:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/780491</guid>
		<description>Yesterday afternoon, Mom, Sophie, and I were lounging out on the back porch while Wee Lass played wi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday afternoon, Mom, Sophie, and I were lounging out on the back porch while Wee Lass played with Play Doh (TM).  Mom soon noticed that I was pacing back and forth along the side of the screened porch.  Just last summer Dad re-screened the entire back porch, erasing any evidence of one Standard American Brown Dog forcibly evicting one Stray Cat who had been misguidedly placed on the back porch for safe keeping.

Mom feared that the screens were in imminent danger, which would place ME, Pennie in danger as well, for Dad would most certainly NOT find it amusing if I created more Pennie exit holes in the screens.

(Really, I can't be blamed that the previous owners of MY 0.46 acres of Suburbia were so stupid as to screen the porch from bottom to top -- any intelligent designers would have screened half-way up, with wood on the bottom, but I digress.)

Anyhoodles, it is well known that Huntress Pennie forcibly evicts (crunch, munch) all Rodentia that transgress into my 0.46 acres, either by dining upon them, or simply chasing them.  This time, however, I was completely entranced, pacing back and forth.

It was a Carpenter Bee.  Dining upon MY Back Porch.  Now certainly it is fine for ME, Pennie, to create large entrance or exit holes in the screens of my back porch.  It is far and away another thing for some huge flying Carpenter Bee to decide to DINE upon my back porch, creating holes in the porch structure!

There was nothing I could do to get the Carpenter Bee -- it was too high and too fast.  I was defeated.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>MY Spot</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/779693</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 May 2012 06:33:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/779693</guid>
		<description>I have so many roles to play here at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  One of the many roles I don't often ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have so many roles to play here at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  One of the many roles I don't often bark about is that I often am forced to help Dad, when he is working in his basement office.  It is a truly thankless job, for I listen to him on his phone, and truly wish for him to bite a few people, but Dad never does!  I think that is why Dad is so tense.  If he would just take my advice and either bark, bark, bark, at some of those unreasonable people, growl, or finally proceed to a nip or a bite, then the family would end up with a kindler, gentler Dad.

Anyhoodles, as Office Manager Pennie, I usually lay under Dad's desk.  Sometimes it even appears that I am napping, but I am NOT napping; I have simply entered a stage of deep concentration upon Dad's work, and closing my eyes helps me to visualize all those complex computer wirings and sales postures, and proposals, and the list goes on,

The other day, Dad was not at home, but Mom was working at what is "supposed" to be her desk, but ends up being the communal dumping ground for all the family's crap.  Wee Lass was supposed to be playing over on the other side of the basement, where the toys are located, but instead, Wee Lass decided to go and sit in MY Spot.

Wee Las curled up under Dad's desk in MY Spot.  Wee Lass is NOT Office Manager Pennie.  In fact, when Dad is working in his office, it is ME, Pennie, who is INVITED into the office, while Wee Lass is summarily EVICTED.

As soon as I came downstairs and tried to go into MY Spot, I discovered that it was occupied!  Mom told Wee Lass that she had to move, that under the desk was Office Manager Pennie's Spot, and Dad was surely not going to be happy if Wee Lass messed with any of Dad's various cables and cords running under his desk.  As Office Manager Pennie I would NEVER mess with any of the cables and cords.  I "may" have even encouraged Wee Lass to leave by giving her one of my "Pennie smiles," which is not exactly a "pleasant" type of smile.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Changing my mind about Cousins</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/778871</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 6 May 2012 15:23:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/778871</guid>
		<description>I have officially changed my Cousin Number Five Policy.  Cousin Number Five had never met ME, Pennie ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have officially changed my Cousin Number Five Policy.  Cousin Number Five had never met ME, Pennie, and I have made it clear that I was NOT interested in meeting HER.  She is majoring in Animal Medicine at University.  This is what she has done:  Dock Piggy Tails and Ears.  Dock Lamby parts.  Neuter Animals.

I did NOT want Cousin Number Five ever, ever, coming to visit.

Alas, last night, Cousin Number Five and Cousin Number Seven, sisters, came to visit, and spend the night so that they could go watch their Dad, Mom's brother, run in the "Flying Pig Marathon."

This weekend I have had to play Hostess Pennie with Daisy, while Oldest Lad and his Apartment-Mates were busy making fools of themselves at the Kentucky Derby.  There is simply not enough attention to spread between Sophie, Daisy, and of course ME, Pennie.

As soon as Cousin Number Five and Cousin Number Seven arrived, Sophie, Daisy, and I, attacked!  I do not believe that either Cousin spent more than 60 seconds without a dog attached to them until it was time for bed.  At bedtime, Mom insisted that all us dogs go upstairs with her, leaving the Cousins to sleep with zero dogs, just their sleeping bags.

I officially put Cousin Number Five onto the "Welcome" list, along with Cousin Number Seven, as they both spent hours fawning over my loveliness, and stroking my fur, and gushing over the warmth of my Pennie Personality.  Sophie was in love as well, for she went from Cousin Five's Lap, to Cousin Seven's Lap, to Mom's Lap, and back and forth all over again.  Daisy got more than her share of attention as well.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Chair Grief</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/778517</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 May 2012 04:37:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/778517</guid>
		<description>I have received some grief of late for taking over chairs in the living room.  When Dad's Grandmothe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have received some grief of late for taking over chairs in the living room.  When Dad's Grandmother passed away, two of her chairs appeared at my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  To be precise, at that time it was Tyler's 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  The chairs were upholstered in 1960s orange floral print fabric, still perfect, as Grandmother was a perfect housekeeper.  In fact, when she passed away, the police had to inspect her apartment (due to the sudden nature of her death, it was simply to determine that indeed she died of natural causes, and there was no need to open an investigation.)  The police commented that they had seldom seen an apartment kept in such perfect order.

Anyhoodles, the perfect 1960s orange floral fabric had to go and be replaced with a fabric that was more in keeping with the style and color that match my family -- navy, burgundy, clutter and dog hair.

No one usually uses the living room, other than for piano and saxophone practice.  The floor is used for tents, train tracks, Duplo layouts, and projects that need to be spread out -- such as when Middle Lad and Little Lad decide to fling each other's piano and saxophone music all over the room, because obviously that is a much finer solution to moving each other's music than to simply remove it from the music stand (s) and placing it on an adjoining end table.

But again, I digress.

A few weeks ago, I realized that Grandma Bessie's chairs fit ME, Pennie, perfectly!  I can wedge my self in a Perfect Pennie Ball, with back support, butt support, and head support, and the fabric perfectly compliments my Standard American Brown Dog FUR.

Mom has given in to Me, Pennie, and put blankets down upon the chairs, for in the scheme of life, I think she is far less annoyed by ME, Pennie, curled up on the best chairs in the house, than she is by the flung piano and saxophone music.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Blacklisted by FedEx</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/777547</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 28 Apr 2012 11:17:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/777547</guid>
		<description>My 0.46 acres of Suburbia has been Blacklisted by FedEx.

On Monday, Sophie had a look of &quot;urgency ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My 0.46 acres of Suburbia has been Blacklisted by FedEx.

On Monday, Sophie had a look of "urgency" about herself.  As Sophie has now become a Weapon of Terror, with all the humans fearing Exploding Sophie will go off at any moment; Sophie was whisked out the closest exit of the house, which was the front door.  I followed.

Normally if Mom "expects" a package, she makes certain that Sophie and I are either inside the house, or in the backyard if we have to be out at all.  Our yard has two electronic fence zones:  Front yard and back yard.  We get zapped if we try to cross the No-Dogs-Land in between the two zones.

On Monday, Mom was NOT expecting a package.  Soon after letting Sophie (and Me, Pennie) out, however, Mom heard a ruckus.  She looked out the front door.

I was jumping all over a FedEx man.  First off:  This FedEx man did not drive up in a FedEx Truck.  No.  He drove up in an un-marked mini-van AND he parked facing the wrong direction on the street.  My Regular FedEx Man drives a FedEx truck, parks facing the correct direction, AND brings ME, Pennie, TREATS!

The Pseudo-FedEx-Man obviously did NOT like dogs and was NOT a dog person.  He should just not have come into the yard.  However, once he was in the yard, instead of just stopping, or leaving the yard, he kept approaching.  I of course kept jumping because I was certain of either a treat, or at least I was going to inspect the package, to make sure it did not contain any weapons of mass destruction or improvised explosive devises.  That's just my dog-ly duty.

When Mom heard, then saw all the ruckus, she called out to the FedEx man to just "drop the package."  He dropped the package in the grass, and then I ran over to Mom as she kept calling me, and I was getting tired of her nagging voice.

Once Mom corralled me back into the house, she checked to make sure the Pseudo-FedEx Man was OK, as he was still parked in his non FedEx truck, parked the wrong way, in front of my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  He was OKAY.

Then on Friday, Mom was indeed expecting a package.  She made certain that no dogs from MY 0.46 acres of Suburbia were outside.  Mom could not account for any random stray dogs lurking about.  When Mom got home from errands, she found a package -- placed on the tree lawn, out by the mailbox by the curb.  Normally if no one is home, packages are left near the front door, where it is not easy to see them or to steal them.

Apparently it is Me, Pennie, that has brought this black-listing down upon my 0.46 acres of Suburbia.  All I was trying to do was either get a treat or protect my turf.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Stepford Dogs</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/776390</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Apr 2012 13:42:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/776390</guid>
		<description>The last couple of mornings I have been very regular about forcing Mom out for her walk.  I don't th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The last couple of mornings I have been very regular about forcing Mom out for her walk.  I don't think she gets enough exercise, and of course it is a perfect job for Me, Pennie to take on.

We like to walk in the BIG subdivision that is behind our house.  Since it is a new subdivision, not only are the houses BIG, but there are sidewalks.  There is only a sidewalk on MY section of MY street in MY neighborhood.  Of course since there is so little sidewalk on MY street, I have to protect it with all the more vengeance, in case the humans on the rest of the neighborhood decide they want to take MY sidewalk.

Anyhoodles, I am not sure that the folks in the BIG subdivision really want us regular folks walking in their neighborhood, but since they are always driving through MY neighborhood and breezing right on through MY STOP SIGN, with nary a touch on the brake pedal, I think that I have full rights and privileges to traipse into the BIG subdivision.

I have noticed something very disconcerting about the dogs in the BIG subdivision.  The little dogs seem normal -- the little dogs all seem to have small dog syndrome and bark excessively at all who walk by.  It's the larger dogs I worry about.  Almost all of the larger dogs just sit on their perfectly manicured lawns and stare at ME and Sophie as we pass.  If I am outside and a dog passes on MY Sidewalk, in front of MY house; I storm the sidewalk (as close as my electronic fence allows,) raise my hair, and fully protect my 0.46 acres of Suburbia!

What is wrong with these passive dogs?  Are they Stepford Dogs?  By all rights those dogs have much MORE to protect than I do, yet they barely give a bark, bark, if they say anything, and rarely move from their place.  It's just not normal!  Is it part of the BIG Subdivisions Covenant and Restrictions that all dogs over Little Dog Size must be Stepford Dogs?  I shudder to think that, but it has to be the explanation -- all the dogs on MY street behave just as I do, storming passers-by and letting them know who is in charge.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Complete Affrontage</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/776052</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:25:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/776052</guid>
		<description>My so-called sister, Queen Sophine, wrote this in her regal diary
&quot;This is what my Mom likes to do: ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My so-called sister, Queen Sophine, wrote this in her regal diary
"This is what my Mom likes to do:
She takes my head in her hands, cupping my jowls in her hands. Then she puts her lips on my forehead, right between my eyes, and gives me a kiss.
She calls this Breathing in Sophie Essence."

Guess What?  Mom kisses Me, Pennie, also!  She doesn't doesn't linger as long, breathing in my so-called "essence," for fear of a malingering odor of deer droppings or something else that I have rolled in.

But why?  Because it is ME, Pennie!! that works my PAWS to the bone, taking care of the family, while Queen Sophine, her Royal Laziness, finds the closest Sun-spots, and spends the day expecting to be waited on paw and paw, fed juicy morsels of snacks, and soak up all Mom's attention!

Shall I LIST just a few of my titles?  Nannie Pennie.  Nurse Pennie.  Tutor Pennie.  Huntress Pennie.

So what if I have a "lingering odor" of deer droppings -- I keep my 0.46 acres of Suburbia safe for the family!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mutant Mythical Rodents</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/774332</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 8 Apr 2012 13:07:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/774332</guid>
		<description>I normally like Rabbits.  A rabbit of Suburbia will spy me, and sit completely still, with just a we ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I normally like Rabbits.  A rabbit of Suburbia will spy me, and sit completely still, with just a wee twitch of it's hasenpfeffer whiskers.  Then when it realizes that it is Huntress Pennie on the prowl, off the hasenpfeffer goes, FLASH, across the yard.  I have even caught a few hasenpfeffer, crunch, munch, burp.

The Mutant Mythical Rodents of Easter are wrong.  Just plain wrong.

"Normal" rabbits do not grow to the size of an Easter Bunny.  The Easter Bunny is obviously a mutant from the dark era of the Manhattan Project Research, migrated to the MidWest from the Nevada Nuclear Test Grounds, the Oak Ridge Research Facility, or perhaps the Hanford Site.

Yet, I am supposed to welcome these Mutant Radioactive Rabbits into MY 0.46 acres of Suburbia, and eagerly accept their proffered chocolates, with no fear for the life of my family.

I am a genuine proponent of Family Dinners.  Especially dinners that involve steaks, hamburgers, and bread.  I simply see no reason why I must invite a Mutant Mythical Rodent into my home in order to get a few bits of beef and a side of bread.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>This won't do.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/773978</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Apr 2012 17:49:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/773978</guid>
		<description>I finally met &quot;Bella,&quot; the new German Shepherd Pup that lives across the street.  Bella, or Schmella ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I finally met "Bella," the new German Shepherd Pup that lives across the street.  Bella, or Schmella Bella, is about 4 months old and as an "only pup" to pawrents whose human children are grown, thinks that she is "it."

Schmella Bella has an over-inflated EGO.

I am Alpha Pennie.  Houseguest Dog Daisy knows that I am Alpha Pennie.  Rent-to-Own Sophie, now Queen Sophine, knows that I am Alpha Pennie.  All of Oldest Lad's Rental Dogs knew immediately upon meeting me that I was Alpha Pennie.

Schmella Bella did NOT act submissive to me at all.  Bella needs to learn to respect her elders.  She did not try to lick my teeth; in fact she jump upon my back and refused to back down when I arched up into Alpha Pennie Position.

This will not do.  Bella is NOT going to pull an Alpha on me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Suburbia Surfing</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/773670</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Apr 2012 20:10:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/773670</guid>
		<description>I should have been suspicious when Dad loaded Sophie and Me into Dad's car.  We are NOT allowed in D ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I should have been suspicious when Dad loaded Sophie and Me into Dad's car.  We are NOT allowed in Dad's car.  Dad's car is even more off limits than Dad's side of the Concrete Queen Bed.  Pawsonally I have always blamed poor breeding.  Dad grew up with only one sister, and never had to share anything.  Mom, on the other paw, as one of a litter of SIX, always had to share.  And much like dogs, Mom is willing to share most things, but Do Not Ever, Ever, Touch Mom's Food.

Anyhoodles, Dad is NOT willing to share his car with Dogs.  He "claims" that as a "Professional" he cannot go into meetings covered in Dog Hair.

On Monday, Mom needed her Van to transport Middle Lad to the Vet, I mean Doctor.  Dad was forced to load Sophie and Me into his car.  I have never been in Dad's car.  It was a beautiful day, and Dad's car has a Sun Roof!  Dad opened up the Sun Roof.  

In a few minutes I discovered that there was an open window at the TOP of the car, so I stood on the back seat, put my front paws up on the top of the car and stuck my head out the sun roof!

It's called City Surfing, but of course, being in Suburbia, it was ME, Pennie, Suburbia Surfing!

The problem was that I happen to live in one of the curviest, hilliest parts of Cincinnati.  I Suburbia Surfed for all of a few seconds before Dad rounded a curve and I was flung off my Surf onto Dad's lap.  Fortunately Dad is a seasoned driver and he was able to maneuver the curves while having the sudden shock of a 48 pound Pennie flung onto his lap.

Then I discovered that Dad was taking Sophie and I to Camp Kennel.  I LIKE Camp Kennel.  As Alpha Pennie, I immediately put myself in charge and thoroughly enjoy all the Camp Kennel activities.  Sophie, on the other paw, clung to Dad pathetically until the Camp Kennel Counselor had to peel her off Dad and take her back to her Kennel Run.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Furniture moving again</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772849</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:47:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772849</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad moved the family room furniture back around Thanksgiving.  The whole family liked the ne ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad moved the family room furniture back around Thanksgiving.  The whole family liked the new furniture arrangement, but Mom was not happy.  I was not happy with the new arrangement, either, but no one seemed to care.  With the Original Arrangement, I could lay upon the end of the couch and still look out the corner front window.

Mom was not happy because her favorite chair no longer had a lamp next to it, and so she could not read or crochet knots unless she sat on the couch.  Mom is not overly fond of the couch because Mom is short and unless she wedges her head in a spot between the three back cushions, her neck gets a crick.  She does like to LAY upon the couch, however.

This morning, Mom just decided that she frankly did not care if the rest of the family liked the new furniture arrangement; she was moving it all back.  And apparently when a human female decides to move furniture . . . furniture gets moved.  Dad came home mid-day, and looked a bit shocked.

Mom decided that after all the furniture moving and of course vacuuming everything, that she would rest a bit.  I climbed right up into her lap, wedged my butt on the left side of her hips, and laid my head across her lap, just like I used to do with the "Original Arrangement."  Sophie eventually climbed up and curled up on Mom's middle lap.  Sophie and I are obviously "fine" with the original arrangement, and so who cares about the rest of the family.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Vet Visit, Lumpy but fine</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772223</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 26 Mar 2012 08:01:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772223</guid>
		<description>I visited the vet this morning to check out my lumps.  The vet pronounced a healthy Pennie, and now  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I visited the vet this morning to check out my lumps.  The vet pronounced a healthy Pennie, and now I shall re-adjust to a quiet life in Suburbia without Daisy here any longer.  I was down two pounds, probably due to the increase in walking of late.  Todays agenda:  napping in the sun.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Diary Central Pick</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772057</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 25 Mar 2012 11:59:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/772057</guid>
		<description>It appears that as a reward for my week of putting up with HouseGuest Daisy, I am a Diary Central Pi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It appears that as a reward for my week of putting up with HouseGuest Daisy, I am a Diary Central Pick.

Oldest Lad, Daisy's Man, and another Apartment Mate all stopped by to take Daisy, Sophie and Me, Pennie on a hike, before Daisy is back off to living with Her Man.  There was some reward at least for having to play the Hostess with the Mostess all week.

Tomorrow I am off for a poking and prodding at the vet.  I am certain that I will be forced to succumb to a pawdicure as well.

I have realized that I might as well get the Vet Poking and Prodding over with:  Neurotic Mom has found two spots on my skin that she calls "suspicious."  After determining that the spots did not go away on their own, Mom has to taken to checking the spots every 56 minutes or so.  All that neurotic spot checking is making me neurotic and I might as well just go see the vet so that Mom can stop the constant checking.

As just reward for being an accommodating, if not a model hostess to HouseGuest Daisy all week, I do hope that I get a hamburger for dinner tonight when Dad grills.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>When is Daisy Leaving?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/771757</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Mar 2012 09:36:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/771757</guid>
		<description>This week Daisy has been staying here while Her Man has been laying on the beach in Florida, no doub ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This week Daisy has been staying here while Her Man has been laying on the beach in Florida, no doubt in a state of Drunken Debauchery.  Daisy has been making herself far, far too comfortable.

Daisy has been sleeping in MY chair, or at the end of the couch.  She wanted to sleep on the Concrete Queen, but Mom saw no possible way to have Dad have his half of the Concrete Queen, and then fit Daisy, Me, Sophie AND Mom, all on Mom's side, AND have no dog parts touching Dad.  Dad ended up being gone most of the week, but an Alpha Pennie look made it clear that Daisy was NOT going to share the Concrete Queen.  Fortunately, Daisy was happy to go sleep with Middle Lad in his bed.

These last few days however, Daisy has accompanied Sophie and Me, Pennie, for Preschool drop-off and pick-up of the Wee Lass.

This is what I do:  While Wee Lass is attempting to get out of the car, or back into the car, I attempt to lick the face of the Preschool Teacher, or at least get them to rub my head.  I at least get a head rub in, because it is hard for Wee Lass to push her way past 50 pounds of Alpha Pennie, so while she is pushing past me, I manage to lick the teacher, or get my head rubbed.

Guess what Daisy has started to do? Stick her Daisy Head out and attempt to grab a head rub and lick the face of the Preschool Teacher.  That is just plain going too far!

Daisy is leaving on Sunday and trust me, I will be up early to have her bowl and leash all packed.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sleeping Miss Daisy arrangements</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770831</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:07:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770831</guid>
		<description>Yesterday afternoon, Oldest Lad and Apartment-mate One stopped by to drop off Daisy, Apartment-mate  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday afternoon, Oldest Lad and Apartment-mate One stopped by to drop off Daisy, Apartment-mate One's Dog.  Oldest Lad, Apartment-mate One, Apartment Mate Two, and several others are heading to Florida for Spring Break.  After living at University for several years now, I am certain that Daisy deserved a week of beach and beer, but instead, she was abandoned here, to spend her Spring Break in Suburbia.  At least I do not have to worry about embarrassing pictures of Daisy showing up on the news or Facebook.

Anyhoodles,  with a third dog here, I decided that I must put on my Alpha Pennie attitude.

Dad went up to bed, no longer feverish, but still coughing.  Mom stayed downstairs to sleep on the couch where it was less phlegmy.  When Mom first settled down, there was no Alpha Pennie to be seen.  Sophie settled down on Mom's legs  After a while, Daisy decided to get up on the couch as well.

Mom suddenly heard a low, continuous growling sound.  She though perhaps it was Daisy snoring.  Then she realized that NO, it was ME, Pennie, who had suddenly appeared and realized that DAISY was on the couch with MOM.  Mom sat up and put Me, Pennie at one end of the couch with Daisy at the other end.  Mom was in the middle, with Sophie clinging to Mom for dear life -- Sophie knows from past experience that when I start going Alpha Pennie, that Sophie usually bears the brunt of it.  Mom had no idea how she was going to sleep all night sitting up.  Eventually Mom curled up next to ME, Pennie, with Sophie behind her legs, and Daisy at the opposite end of the couch.

This morning Mom had to take Little Lad to and from Taekwondo and pick up Middle Lad from Indoor Percussion.  On all those trips, guess who go to go along?  Daisy.  It took Daisy no time at all to figure out the routine!

This is just going to far!  Perhaps Mom felt obligated to dog-sit Daisy, but it is going to be a long week if Daisy gets to share sleeping arrangements and go with us on errands.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Compression Therapy for Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770547</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:19:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770547</guid>
		<description>I know that Nurses and Doctors take an oath to treat ALL patients, without respect to differences, o ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I know that Nurses and Doctors take an oath to treat ALL patients, without respect to differences, or some such nonsense.

As Nurse Pennie, I have not offered, in fact I have denied Compression Therapy to Dad.

Dad has been ill these past few days with a fever and upper respiratory symptoms.  He has been banished to the Concrete Queen, when he is not feeling well enough to work out of his home office.  One of the clear draw backs of a "home office" is that if a person is sick, clients and co-workers still know that if the phone rings enough times, and the email "ding," bells enough, that Dad will arise from the Concrete Queen, stumble down stairs, and respond.

I know that I have some sort of Moral Obligation to hang with Dad, but Sophie and I have been just too busy hanging with Mom, sleeping on the couch with Mom at night, and then Oldest Lad stopped by on Wednesday to wash his car -- even Nurse Pennie could not be expected to miss out on that, could I?

This is what I have decided:  Dad clearly does NOT want to share the Concrete Queen with Me and Sophie.  He insists that Mom, Sophie, and I all huddle onto one half of the Concrete Queen, with no Dog Parts touching Dad (it is okay for Mom parts to touch Dad.)

So how am I, Nurse Pennie, to even "know" that Dad "wants" Compression Therapy?  Perhaps even in his time of needing the ministrations of Me, Nurse Pennie, he still would find it repugnant to have Dog Parts touching him as he lays in a febrile, coughing state, upon the Concrete Queen.  NO, I shall simply assume that Dad has no desire for Dog Part Touching Compression Therapy, and continue the far more interesting life in the main part of the house. (And if Dad ever wants to change his mind about freeing up more of the Concrete Queen for Sophie and Me, then perhaps, just perhaps, I might be of a different mind.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>In trouble</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770063</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 12 Mar 2012 18:24:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/770063</guid>
		<description>This morning Mom got up with Middle Lad, but Sophie and I stayed in bed with Dad.  Neither Sophie no ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Mom got up with Middle Lad, but Sophie and I stayed in bed with Dad.  Neither Sophie nor I even moved.  Mom left the bedroom door open; assuming that at least Sophie would be down shortly.  Sophie is always on the lookout for a snack, and likes to monitor the breakfast situation.

We didn't even get up when it was time to take Little Lad to Monday morning band practice.  Mom drove to school Dogless.

We sure heard about it when Mom got home.  Today was the first morning of Middle Lad's yearly Ohio Testing.  Apparently it was my duty as Tutor Pennie to be up with Middle Lad, to encourage him.  Sophie was supposed to be up to make sure Middle Lad ate a good breakfast.

All Sophie and I heard about all day long was how Mulligan had such a Good Work Ethic.  

Mulligan always got up with Oldest Lad, Middle Lad, and Little Lad.

When it was Testing Week; Mulligan himself sharpened the Ticonderoga Number 2 HB Pencils.

Mulligan sat next to Oldest Lad while he ate breakfast, murmuring words of encouragement (pawsonally I think it was words of encouragement to drop breakfast on the floor.)

Either Sophie and I spend all day Tuesday listening to Mom whine about our poor Work Ethic or at least one of us is going to have to get up.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sometimes just a hint on fragrance is all a girrl needs.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/769499</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 9 Mar 2012 08:15:15 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/769499</guid>
		<description>Mom retired to bed early with a headache, and Sophie and I joined her, of course, to administer Comp ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom retired to bed early with a headache, and Sophie and I joined her, of course, to administer Compression Therapy.

As Mom snuggled with me, Pennie, she detected just the hint of Eau de Deer Droppings.  I had no detectable deer soil upon my body.  I "appeared" pristine clean, yet, somehow my neck had the definite odor, although not full strength, of deer droppings.

Well, sometimes a dog doesn't want a full Eau de Deer Droppings Full Spa Treatment.  I desired just a bit of a splash of Eau de Deer Droppings, about my neck, just to make me feel feminine and special.

Mom uses zero fragrance at all -- she gets Full Force Migraine, plus Mom and Middle Lad have sensitive skin, so Mom always purchases products that are "Fragrance Free," and "Free of Dyes and Perfumes."

Mom just washed the sheets and blankets on Sunday, with Dye and Fragrance Free HE Laundry Detergent, plus Extra Rinse Cycle.  I think that my faint essence of Eau de Deer Droppings really freshened up the bed, sheets, blankets, and of course, made me feel special.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Disinfection Unappreciated: a case for eating used tissues</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/768871</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Mar 2012 17:22:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/768871</guid>
		<description>My good pal Buddy Grau has expressed in his diary that his Mom has an upper respiratory ailment.

 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My good pal Buddy Grau has expressed in his diary that his Mom has an upper respiratory ailment.

He noted a complaint common to most of us dogs:  our pawrents do not wish us to consume their used tissues.

As Nurse Pennie, I definitely prescribe that dogs eat used tissues.  It protects the rest of the human members of the family from getting infected.  The virus and bacteria-laden tissues pass into my tremendously powerful digestive tract, where the tissues are fully disinfected.  I then can deposit the now non-infectious tissues into the backyard, where they can be safely picked up and discarded into the regular trash.

As always, the tremendous efforts that us dogs go through to care for our humans go unappreciated.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>More room for me</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/768827</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Mar 2012 13:34:17 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/768827</guid>
		<description>On several nights lately, Middle Lad has decided to take Sophie from Mom and Dad's room, and have So ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On several nights lately, Middle Lad has decided to take Sophie from Mom and Dad's room, and have Sophie sleep with him.

With Sophie sleeping with Middle Lad, then I can have Mom and Dad all to myself, or if Dad is out of town, then I can have Mom all to myself.

Queen Sophine thinks she is some kind of royalty getting carried off to sleep with Middle Lad, but I can do with a little extra lovin' without that attention hog.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Meat Inspector Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/767138</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Feb 2012 13:05:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/767138</guid>
		<description>Mom stopped at the grocery store today and arrived home with a trunk load of food.  I greeted Mom en ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom stopped at the grocery store today and arrived home with a trunk load of food.  I greeted Mom enthusiastically (even before I knew she had been to the store,) and then went outside to Inspect.  While Mom was carrying bags inside, I did my usual trick of hopping into the trunk of the mini-van.  Don't ever call Me, Pennie a slacker!  I am willing to get my paws into the matter to do a full inspection.  Mom came back outside and was not happy to see me hopping around all the groceries, especially as she had several packages of:  MEATZ!

I should be especially applauded for thoroughly inspecting the MEATZ! Does Mom want a case of Mad Cow Disease to slip by my Penetrating Pennie Nose?  The Woman is Crazy enough without adding in Mad Cow Disease!

After Mom forced me off the Inspection Line, she just plain turned to torture by putting a large amount of MEATZ into the crock pot for me to have to smell for the rest of the day.  It will serve her right if she turns into Mad Cow Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Pup to help defend Suburbia</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/766190</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 19 Feb 2012 07:21:51 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/766190</guid>
		<description>I have had an increased burden about my shoulders, of late, defending my Stop Sign.  Across the stre ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have had an increased burden about my shoulders, of late, defending my Stop Sign.  Across the street, Kia used to live, a large Siberian Husky.  Unfortunately Kia succumbed to cancer and old age, and went to the bridge several months ago.  Diagonally across the street lived Chewie and Dixie.  Unfortunately, they succumbed to Foreclosure.  Mom did check on Petfinder and contacted the agencies listed.  Both Chewie and Dixie are in Foster Care, awaiting other homes.

The house next door has no dog, and probably never will have a dog, as the owner is not much of a pet lover.  Therefore, it has just been ME, Pennie, defending my Stop Sign, and the intersection of the street that meets into my street.  Sometimes Queen Sophine will offer up her barking, but she is more likely to lay upon the couch, paws crossed regally, and just shout out the window:  "bark, bark, bark."

I take my job seriously.  I STORM the front windows.  I STORM the front door.  I race around the interior confines of my electronic fence, barking like a durn fool (as Mom would say) with my fur raised.

A few days ago we noticed that across the street is a new Pup.  Apparently the family of Kia is ready to "move on" from the grieving process and has added a new Pup!  Although this Pup won't be able to defend the street as I can, it is a relief that I can stand down a time or two from my alert status.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Mice.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/764788</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 11 Feb 2012 13:11:19 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/764788</guid>
		<description>Last night I spent the night at Oldest Lad's apartment.  Oldest Lad has quite a problem with Rodents ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I spent the night at Oldest Lad's apartment.  Oldest Lad has quite a problem with Rodents.  The idea of me spending the night was to give me a chance to be Huntress Pennie.  In my time here in Suburbia, I have fairly well cleared my 0.46 acres, and the rodent hunting has become pretty thin.  The moles have all headed over to the house next door, on the left.  The house on the right has cats to take care of it's rodents. All of the moles that used to claim my yard now live on the left, outside of the borders of my electronic fence.

My mere physical presence at Oldest Lad's apartment scared all the mice away.  Housemate Dog Daisy lives in the apartment, but she does not HUNT.  She hasn't nearly the Work Ethic of Me, Pennie.  The mice feel free to roam about and Daisy just looks at them.  As soon as Huntress Pennie entered the place, all was quiet.  No pitter patter of wee tiny mouse feet.  No skittering of mice between the floors.

I was sorely disappointed, especially as Oldest Lad brought no Kibble for me, as he was certain I would be eating my fill of Mice.

I AM pleased that my Pennie Physical Presence is so Powerful, however, Oldest Lad IS going to have to make those threatening calls to the Landlord about calling in a professional exterminator.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Putting Dad in the Dog House</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/762431</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 29 Jan 2012 08:16:44 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/762431</guid>
		<description>Sophie and I have managed to put DAD in the Dog House!

Several weeks ago, Dad spent an afternoon  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sophie and I have managed to put DAD in the Dog House!

Several weeks ago, Dad spent an afternoon taking down all the outside Christmas decorations.  Santa in the Outhouse, the Penguins, the Snowman with the Yellow Lightbulb (he was made with yellow snow); they all had to be put away.  The windy weather helped facilitate an urgency to getting everything put away as our decorations were blowing around, and one certainly doesn't want Santa's Outhouse to end up in the neighbor's yard.

Dad is afraid of heights, so in exchange for a Steak Dinner, Oldest Lad came over, along with Housemate Dog Daisy and the other Housemates.

Sophie mainly huddled on the front porch, afraid of the wind, but Daisy and I gallivanted about the yard, running, chasing, and getting muddy and wind-blown.

That's when The Accident Happened.

Mom has two favorite house ornaments:  Concrete Gargoyles.  They are named Vladimir and Radu.  Vladimir is named after Vladimir the Impaler, and Radu is named after the lesser-known but just-as-evil younger brother of Vladimir.  Vladimir Dracul was known all over Transylvania as Vlad the Impaler and eventually evolved into the legend of Dracula.  Whereas Dracula, the Legend, was known for his vampire ways, Vlad the Impaler was known for performing Colonoscopies upon his victims, with whatever object might lay about, without benefit of anesthesia, or signed consent.  Vlad's victims died horrendously, often living for days before succumbing to their probing.

Anyway, during the galloping play of Daisy and Me, Pennie, we knocked over Vlad.  One of his great Gargoyle Wings was broken.

Now Mom is NOT mad that Daisy and I knocked over Vlad the Gargoyle.  Mom keeps the Vlad and Radu Gargoyles up on the front porch just so that their wings do not get damaged by gallivanting dogs or children; or dogs and children do not get damaged by their wings.

However, Dad Failed to Mention to Mom that Vlad the Gargoyle was broken.  It was not until Mom noticed that only ONE Gargoyle was sitting on the front porch that the crime was revealed.  Vlad the Gargoyle sits in Dad's workshop in the hopes that his wing can be repaired.  In the meantime, Sophie, Daisy and I can have the satisfaction of putting Dad in the Dog House for not confessing right away.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Embarrassed</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/762133</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:14:33 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/762133</guid>
		<description>I was completely embarrassed by the Wee Lass today.

This morning, Sophie and I attended Preschool ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was completely embarrassed by the Wee Lass today.

This morning, Sophie and I attended Preschool Pick-up as usual.  Preschool Teacher told Mom that one of the students had brought in his new Puppy today, for Sharing Time.  Perish the thought that Mom would ever allow Sophie or Me, Pennie to be the object of "Sharing Time."  Mom values our eyes, ears, tails and other body parts far too much than to subject us to the whims of a group of young heathens.

Anyhoodles, many of the Preschool Students were Scared of the Puppy.  (No doubt the Puppy was the one in mortal danger.)  One particularly un-manly little boy apparently even cried.  Picking up on the reaction of some of the GIRLS in her class, Wee Lass fell to peer pressure and acted:  Scared.  Yes, Preschool Teacher told Mom that Wee Lass acted SCARED of the Puppy.

I was appalled.  The first word that Wee Lass uttered was:  "Mo."  Mulligan's Name.  Wee Lass' love of dogs has always bordered on obsession.  This past year, when Oldest Lad was fostering dogs, Wee Lass went through Rent-to-Own Sophie, Jori, Karo, Lil' Dude, and Camille.  Plus one other dog whose name I forget.

A Pennie Dog's work is never done, for obviously Wee Lass is one to succumb to Peer Pressure. I shall have to become Just-Say-No Pennie or undoubtedly Wee Lass will soon be falling to the Peer Pressure of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hair Stylist Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/761807</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 25 Jan 2012 09:29:12 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/761807</guid>
		<description>I should probably not admit to what happened, as in the State of Ohio, by law, a Beautician/Hair Sty ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I should probably not admit to what happened, as in the State of Ohio, by law, a Beautician/Hair Stylist must have a Cosmetology License.

Yesterday, Mom decided to take a nap.  I was quite insistent that not only do I nap WITH her but that I nap ON her.  I decided that Mom's head needed some Compression Therapy.  As much as Mom tried to adjust our napping position, I still managed to be laying on Mom's head.

Mom had a meeting to go to in the evening.  Fortunately, the meeting was for one of the Public School Volunteer Groups, so the dress code is usually:  Spirit Wear.

However, once Mom had donned her favorite Marching Band Hoodie, no matter what she did, the left side of her hair was decidedly "poofed" wrong. I thought I had designed Mom's hair perfectly; my only disappointment was that she did not allow me to nap on her Black Hoodie; which would have adorned the Black Hoodie perfectly with Pennie Hair.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Curse the Evidence!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/761071</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 21 Jan 2012 07:57:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/761071</guid>
		<description>Mom has noticed a strange weather phenomenon in Cincinnati.  It seems that despite the constant chan ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has noticed a strange weather phenomenon in Cincinnati.  It seems that despite the constant changes in weather, and the overwhelming rainfall; it can always be counted on that there will high winds and probably rain, on: Tuesdays.  Tuesday of course being trash collection day.  THIS Tuesday, like a high proportion of other Tuesdays, was a day of high wind and also rain.  Fortunately, in our neighborhood, many kindly neighbors will capture garbage cans for other neighbors, especially the neighbors who are gone all day long, otherwise that would leave their garbage cans blowing about Suburbia for the whole day.

This past Tuesday, Dad brought the garbage cans from the curb to the back of the house about mid-morning.  Dad pre-emptively laid the garbage cans on their sides, figuring they would get knocked over by the high wind anyway.

Dad did not bank on the LIDS coming off.

Mom was NOT happy when she let ME, Pennie, into the house that evening, after I had been out for a bit, and discovered that the garbage cans were on their sides with the lids off.  I admit that I have been known to enter the garbage cans, in search of tasty bits.

Mom did NOT detect me actually inside the garbage cans.  She did proceed to thoroughly wipe me down once I was inside the house.

TODAY, Mom threw a bag of trash away into the outside garbage cans.  What did Mom note?

There was a distinct pattern of Pennie Paw Prints on the INSIDE of the garbage can.

Curse the Evidence!  Curse this constant mud!  Mom would never have truly known if I had been inside that trash can if it were not for this constant rain and constant mud forcing me to leave behind evidence of dumpster diving!

I claim that it was not ME, Pennie, but rather a very large raccoon that had left the paw prints inside the garbage can!  Yes.  A 50 pound Standard American Brown Raccoon is on the prowl in Suburbia.  I must be vigilant.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Muddy Moody Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/760427</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:26:56 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/760427</guid>
		<description>If the weather does not change then I fear that I shall succumb to a bowel obstruction.

I have re ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ If the weather does not change then I fear that I shall succumb to a bowel obstruction.

I have relinquished any hope that 2012 shall bring any LESS precipitation than 2011.  In 2011, the Cincinnati area far surpassed record levels of rainfall.  The average yearly rainfall in Cincinnati is:  39.57 inches.  The last record-breaking year was 1990, with 54.96 inches.  2011 far surpassed all expectations with 73.28 inches of rainfall.

This morning it once again was as if buckets of water were pouring from the sky.  Mom forced me and Sophie outside into the elements.  Sophie trotted out into the yard and relieved herself.  I paced around the front porch.  Mom yelled at me from behind the window, and I managed to make it out onto the front walkway, looked back at Mom with a horrid glare, and I gave up.  I was NOT going out into that rain.

Oldest Lad called this morning and asked:  "How does Pennie do it?"  He has been caught in a rain-related traffic jam, and was trapped with the imminent need to use an indoor backyard.  He called wondering what my secret was to holding my bowels and urine for just the right break in the rain to let myself loose.

On Sunday, there was a break in the rain and Dad took Me and Sophie to the play trail for a hike.  He deeply underestimated the amount of MUD.  I abhor rain, but I LOVE MUD.  Sophie managed to return home with only slightly muddy paws, needing only to be wiped off a bit with baby wipes.

I was a mess.  Mom had spent the entire day in bed with a migraine, but had to rouse herself to give me a bath.  I am eternally thankful, for I did NOT want a bath from Dad.  If a dog has to have a bath, then at least Oldest Lad or Mom give a bath with some dignity and gentleness.  Mom has no idea how I managed to come home completely covered in mud, but Sophie was so clean!  The boots of Dad, Wee Lass, and Little Lad were thick with mud, as well as their coats.    (Mom did not discover until this morning that Dad did not wipe off the van seats where I obviously was sitting on the way home from the hike.

If the year 2012 insists on continuing with this amount of precipitation, could the temperatures drop so it could at least be SNOW?  Then at least I could romp and play, and the lads would have a Snow Day, so we could snuggle and bake cookies.

In the meantime, I believe there is a brief lapse in the rain, so I shall have to run out and try no to have an obstruction.  (Although there is always the upstairs carpet to use.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Neighbordog Worries</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/759003</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 Jan 2012 09:44:56 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/759003</guid>
		<description>I am worried about the dogs who live across the street.  My 0.46 acres of Suburbia lies at a stop si ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am worried about the dogs who live across the street.  My 0.46 acres of Suburbia lies at a stop sign, but it is a three way stop.  Chewie and Dixie live diagonally across the street.  Their house is actually on a corner; the top of their street, which leads out into MY street.  Kia the Siberian Husky used to live directly across the street, but sadly, she died recently after a long, happy life.  Between Kia, Chewie and Dixie and ME, Pennie (with what little help Sophie adds) we protected our portion of Suburbia.  Chewie and Dixie also had the full advantage of living on a corner and free run of their whole property -- their barking could be heard across the neighborhood, as our immediate next-door neighbor so-oft complained.  

But I digress.

Chewie and Dixie's family are moving.  The family is in foreclosure.  We are all most worried, of course, about Chewie and Dixie.  Chewie was found as a stray running loose and is an overgrown German Shepherd/Hound mix.  There is no telling his age.  He is NOT handsome, but if one overlooks the fact that he has zero manners, he is a real lover, a sweet dog.  Dixie was adopted as a pup from a shelter and is probably about two; some sort of Labrador Mutt.  If they find their way back to a shelter, Dixie probably at least faces "some" chance, as she is still pretty young, and is cute.  Chewie is undetermined age, and unless one gets to spend time with him, it is impossible to see his charms.

As our experiences with Oldest Lad's Foster Dog's show; the Pennie Pack is full. I do fine with Sophie, but adding a third dog disrupted the Pack Order.

Chewie and Dixie's Mom "claims" that if she can't find homes for them that she will find a No-Kill Shelter.  Sophie and I are praying that is the case, as the family is under a great deal of stress and the "story" seems to change daily.  We are also worried about the Four Boys, but at least they will still get Public Education and won't end up, well . . . .]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Year's Destruction</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/757767</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 1 Jan 2012 15:42:04 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/757767</guid>
		<description>I was excited this afternoon when I peeked out into the backyard to see my huge overgrown neighbor d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was excited this afternoon when I peeked out into the backyard to see my huge overgrown neighbor dog, Calbert, and his sister, Shamu, running around in my back yard.  Oh, a play date!

But NO!  It was NOT a New Year's Play Date!  Calbert and Shamu's Dad had come over to talk to Dad about commencing destruction of the Hallway Bathroom.

Don't middle-aged Men have better things to do than to destroy the house, in the failed mis-nomer of "Home Improvement?"

I have been the unwilling participant to many of these "manly" home improvement projects in my time here in Suburbia.  Nothing good comes of it.  Noise.  Dust.  Disrupted Sleep.  Inevitable Family Yelling and Screaming.

Mom and Dad Home Improved their own bathroom just last summer.  (And Dad has still not painted the ceiling in the kitchen, where the pipes had to be accessed due to mis-plumbing back in 1969, although the plumbed piping now distributes better water pressure upstairs.)  But I digress.  The Lads and the Wee Lass shall be forced to take care of their showering, teeth, and night-time toileting in Mom and Dad's bathroom.

So much for a quiet New Year.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Shower Water</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/757737</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 1 Jan 2012 12:44:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/757737</guid>
		<description>Mom bought a new water bowl for Sophie and I to have in the Upstairs Bathroom.  Sophie and I both ha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom bought a new water bowl for Sophie and I to have in the Upstairs Bathroom.  Sophie and I both have a habit of licking the shower floor and the glass shower door.  Mom thought it was because we were thirsty.

Silly Mumzie.  Sophie and I lick the shower floor and the shower door because we like Shower Water.  (But not B-A-T-H-S)

We are thankful for the nice new bowl of water upstairs, but we are both still licking the shower floor and door.  (Mom could have saved herself the trouble by just keeping the lid to the porcelain water bowl open.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nice List, after all</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/756443</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 25 Dec 2011 14:10:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/756443</guid>
		<description>It came down to the wire, but I must have eked onto the Nice List just before the Fat Mythical Elf p ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It came down to the wire, but I must have eked onto the Nice List just before the Fat Mythical Elf packed up his sleigh to begin his trek of Breaking and Entering and Unidentified Package Leaving.

There was quite the discussion on Christmas Eve about the Naughty versus Nice List, as Little Lad was quite certain that he was on the Naughty List with me.  He tracked Santa using NORAD's Santa Tracker, and finally realized that the Sleigh was packed, and he and I had either made the Nice List, or not.  Mom kept trying to convince us that even if we were on the Nice List, if we didn't shape up, that Santa could always ditch our presents somewhere over the Bering Straits.

Little Lad and I were both pleasantly surprised to discover that we had made the Nice List.

I received two new sterilized chew bones, and a deer antler.  Sophie has a serious case of TMJ -- Temporomandibular joint disorder, as she has been gnawing since 10:00 this morning.  I have been pacing my gnawing -- unlike Sophie I realize that the pleasure of a good gnaw is not worth wearing the teeth down to nubs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>That Carpet Thing Again</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/756215</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 24 Dec 2011 17:24:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/756215</guid>
		<description>Mom was unhappy again with me today.  She was vacuuming the carpet in her bedroom, when her new vacu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom was unhappy again with me today.  She was vacuuming the carpet in her bedroom, when her new vacuum became all clogged up.  Seems that the re-decorating that I attempted last year, by tearing up some of the carpet, is still releasing globs of carpet pad.

Mom is not happy that our houseguest will have to see the Carpet Remodel -- normally no guests go upstairs, but this guest will have to use the shower in Mom's room (OK, admittedly it is Dad's room, too,) and there is the Pennie Carpet Remodel smack in the middle of the doorway.

Did Mom offer ME, Pennie, any sympathy?  Wasn't it ME, Pennie that was trapped in Mom's room with that ugly carpeting, for hours, last Thanksgiving, while Oldest Lad was out?  I became claustrophobic, hungry, thirsty, and of course the horror of that ghastly ugly carpet just added to the torture of my entrapment.  Has Mom ever once offered to me any condolences about the terrible time that I spent trapped?  No.  All I get is her reminding me of how embarrassed she is that the carpet has a large tear and continues to shed carpet pad. 

To get even I peed on the upstairs hallway carpet while the family was out to dinner.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not sorry, Fat Mythical Elf</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/755891</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Dec 2011 07:57:06 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/755891</guid>
		<description>A fine furry Brindle Girrrl commented that perhaps Santa Paws is not happy that I have taken to call ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ A fine furry Brindle Girrrl commented that perhaps Santa Paws is not happy that I have taken to calling him a "Fat Mythical Elf."  I do see that he might be offended by my refusal to pander to his need for constant adoration in attempts to stay upon his Nice List.

However, I do feel that I have good reason to have a few problems with the Fat Mythical Elf.

First off, there is still the memory of my first Christmas in Suburbia, when I was on the Naughty List.

More importantly, it is up to ME, Pennie, to provide Home Security.  I have often commented upon the lack of Work Ethic of Queen Sophine.  While she DOES get up to bark at those who come to the door, it is ME, Inspector Pennie, who sniffs out all Intruders.  I sniff all packages, even the groceries that Mom brings home from the supposedly-safe nearby Kroger.  I always cheerfully greet the UPS, FedEx, and USPS delivery people -- they think that I am quite the friendly sort, but in reality I thoroughly check them out in my quick once over of their personal areas and packages.  (It is not without merit that most frequent visitors to my domain immediately cover their private areas as soon as I answer the door.)

Anyhoodles, on Christmas Eve, I am locked in the bedroom with Mom and Dad, while some Fat Mythical Elf breaks into my home and leaves suspicious packages!  I know we dogs are supposed to allow this, in the hopes of having a few gifts thrown our way, but how do we really know the intent of that Fat Mythical Elf?  I am not going to be lured into a sense of security just because for the past thousand years or so Santa has not left any Improvised Explosive Devices or gone into a Fat Mythical Axe Murdering Elf Rage.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Does Santa remember Past Crimes?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/755715</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 22 Dec 2011 09:58:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/755715</guid>
		<description>I have given up on the Nice List.  It probably doesn't really matter if I am on the Naughty List --  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have given up on the Nice List.  It probably doesn't really matter if I am on the Naughty List -- the Christmas Cookies still need to be made, and I plan to hover in the kitchen during the entire baking process.

However, I do wonder about:  Past Crimes.

Mom was outfitting Wee Lass and Little Lad in Boots this morning.  Wee Lass is going to need some convincing, as the next size boot from the hand me down bin happens to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  It doesn't snow much in Cincinnati, so Mom sees no reason to buy new boots that may get worn two or three times.  In the meantime, the word of the day is "Cowabunga!" as that is what the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) say, and the day will be spent convincing Wee Lass how cool her TMNT snow boots are.  (Wee Lass does have some lovely FLORAL RAIN boots, which have come in handy since Cincinnati has surpassed the Recorded Rainfall Amounts already this year.)

Anyhoodles, Little Lad also needed to move up to another size from the hand me down bit.  That is where my Past Crime was discovered.  For the size boot that Little Lad needs, the Right Boot is mysteriously missing part of the top.  It looks quite chewed off.  Mom can't believe that she forgot that I committed that crime -- I am too, Mom is know for remembering ALL crimes.  She really should have gone for a career in Law Enforcement or Professional Torture.

Does Santa still hold it against me that I chewed off the top of the Snow Boot?  Will it be held against me anew, because it was re-discovered?

Santa better hope that Mom keeps me trapped in her room when he commits Forced Entry this Saturday evening, because I am beginning to think that I may just have to bite him.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pressure Pennie, the Fat Mythical Elf</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754689</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 16 Dec 2011 12:06:01 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754689</guid>
		<description>I just don't know if I can do it.  I dare to say I may have barely eked by onto Santa's Nice List.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just don't know if I can do it.  I dare to say I may have barely eked by onto Santa's Nice List.  But how do I really know?  Is it worth it?

Just a few minutes ago I actually submitted to allowing Mom to trim my nails, not without being held in a complete Body Lock by Oldest Lad, but still, the deed was done.

I am still haunted by my First Christmas with The Family.  On December 7th, or perhaps the morning of the 8th, I gave in to my temptations, and consumed the remnants of Middle Lad's birthday cake.  It was immensely satisfying to consume well over one half of a Marble Layer Cake with Chocolate Frosting.  (Upon calling the Emergency Vet, some hours after I ate the cake, but immediately when Mom discovered the crime, it was determined, based upon the Box Ingredient List and my size that I was not in any danger.)

I was remanded over to the Naughty List, with no chance of Parole.  Each Christmas thereafter I have managed to get my Naughty Deeds out of the way before Christmas, in time to remain on the Nice List.

Why must my Holiday be held hostage by some Fat Mythical Elf?  HE is the one who should be charged with a Crime:  Breaking and Entering Homes, and of course, Psychological Abuse.

I shall not bother to list my crimes for the year, for it seems that Fat Mythical Elf holds a grudge and has a memory that lets no crime go unpunished.  I am considering not even bothering to stay on the Nice List -- there is no way of knowing if I am on the Nice List, and I'll still get to keep the most important thing, my family, anyway, won't I?  I may not be able to hold it together and go on some horrid Crime Spree from all this Christmas Pressure.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Is there a Nannie Pennie in the house?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754411</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 Dec 2011 19:36:17 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754411</guid>
		<description>This evening Mom and Dad went out to the Public High School to watch Middle Lad's Band Concert.  I w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This evening Mom and Dad went out to the Public High School to watch Middle Lad's Band Concert.  I was left home to watch Little Lad.  I suppose as Nannie Pennie I should have been more watchful, but I just found the millionth viewing of yet another animated Santa Claus Special to be boring.

Dad soon found his cell phone to be vibrating.  He quickly exited the auditorium, fearing that Little Lad had burnt down Suburbia.

Little Lad:  "Dad, Pennie is twitching."

Dad:  "Is Pennie asleep?"

Little Lad:  "Um, yeah."

Dad:  "Oh."

Dad returned to the auditorium.

When Mom and Dad returned home, it was determined that Nannie Pennie had indeed fallen asleep on the job, with eyes open (it is very creepy when I do that) and I was twitching in my sleep.  I hope my Kibble Ration is not reduced.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Logic Lapse</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754339</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 Dec 2011 12:58:06 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/754339</guid>
		<description>Mom has been upset with Middle Lad and Little Lad.  They have a habit of leaving things on the floor ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has been upset with Middle Lad and Little Lad.  They have a habit of leaving things on the floor.  In fact, Little Lad has a mantra:  if he is missing something important, then it is no doubt on the floor.

Sophie and I have been doing our best to stay OFF the floor.  Mom is not upset about our shed dog hair on the floor.  She is more upset that she cannot vacuum, due to all of Little Lad and Middle Lad's important items on the floor.

Anyhoodles, obviously a major problem is all the clothes, clean and dirty that are; readers probably have already guessed:  on the floor.

So why is Mom upset at ME, Pennie, when I lay ON the BED, ON TOP of the clean, folded laundry?  Not only am I not on the floor, but I am laying upon clean laundry that is not on the floor, and all my shed hair is not landing on the floor.

I am thinking that Sophie and I are going to get a lot of Christmas Presents on the floor under the tree, and Middle Lad and Little Lad, well, not so much.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Wow Factor</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/752401</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 2 Dec 2011 11:45:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/752401</guid>
		<description>Apparently I have a bit of Pennie Wow! Factor today.

Mom is not sure what it is.  She picked up t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Apparently I have a bit of Pennie Wow! Factor today.

Mom is not sure what it is.  She picked up the yard yesterday -- it rained most of the week, and Mom was off on the Bus Tour when it was sunny, so Mom picked up quite a bit.  So Mom doesn't think I dragged anything in.

Mom is not sure if perhaps I need to be "expressed."  I am not stupid.  Why does Mom bother saying "expressed?"  It certainly does not mean that I shall be taken to the Towne Center, and at the Community Christmas Tree Lighting, be allowed to bark a speech.  No. I know what Mom means:  she means that Pennie needs to go to the Vet and have Pennie violated.

I have never been "expressed," as I usually keep myself cleared out on my own.  Mom is hoping (and so am I!!!!) that my Pennie Wow Factor will just go away on it's own.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Thankful Thanksgiving is OVER</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/751698</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Nov 2011 11:29:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/751698</guid>
		<description>I am exhausted, and Thankful that Thanksgiving is over.  Mom abandoned ME; not only abandoned me, bu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am exhausted, and Thankful that Thanksgiving is over.  Mom abandoned ME; not only abandoned me, but left me in charge, along with Oldest Lad, of Wee Lass and Little Lass, while she gallivanted off on a bus tour of Philadelphia and Washington DC.  Middle Lad's High School Marching Band performed in the Philadelphia Thanksgiving Parade, and Mom and Dad decided it was more important to chaperone Middle Lad and his Food Allergies, than to have Mom stay HOME, where she belongs.

Sophie was useless.  Mom, Dad, and Middle Lad left on Tuesday evening.  By Thursday, Sophie had decided that Mom was never coming home, so she started looking for a new Mom.  Other than finding Mom-ly looking women at the park to fawn over her, Sophie spent her days laying on the couch, looking Sopha-thetic.

I worked my paws to the bone keeping Oldest Lad on the ball, and keeping some semblance of normal family life going for Wee Lass and Little Lad.  Do any dogs out there realize how difficult it is to keep Little Lad reading every day and writing in his journal for Thanksgiving Homework, plus practicing the piano, and saxophone?  And Wee Lass?  There are good reasons why Female Dogs wean their pups at 6 weeks -- children are like puppies, too much, too much.

When Mom came home Sunday morning, after spending yet another night not-sleeping on the Tour Bus, I greeted her enthusiastically, then made it clear that not only do I expect reimbursement for my duties, but I am NOT letting Mom out of my sight for fear that I shall be left in charge again.  Next time Mom volunteers to chaperone a trip I shall register myself at the Kennel.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Target Puppy Mill</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749974</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 18 Nov 2011 12:20:36 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749974</guid>
		<description>Sophie and I have started a new routine I term &quot;storming the van.&quot;  On most weekday mornings, Mom ha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sophie and I have started a new routine I term "storming the van."  On most weekday mornings, Mom has to drive Little Lad to school for band, or chorus, OR she has to drive Wee Lass to preschool.  All those are excellent opportunities for RIDES.  Mom "claims" that sometimes Sophie and I cannot go along for the ride, because Mom has to "go somewhere."

Why would Mom ever need to "go somewhere" without us?  Obviously we are not repressing her enough for she still has some thought that she is entitled, yes entitled, to some time to herself.  We shall only repress her more until any thoughts of herself are gone.

Anyhoodles, to make sure that Sophie and I get to go along for the ride, we "storm the van."  In the time that Mom is shoo-ing Little Lad out to the bus, getting slow-poke Wee Lass to put on her shoes, and finding coats; Sophie and I just force our way into the van.  Sure we then have to sit in the parking lot while Mom accomplishes whatever errands she has to accomplish, but we watch people, bark at people, and generally entertain ourselves.  We have to get all this done now; when the weather is warm Mom doesn't care if we Storm the Van, she won't leave us in the car.

Today, Sophie and I waited in the Target parking lot.  When Mom came out, she loaded a box into the van.  The box barked and whined!  It was most definitely a DOG!  I didn't know Target was a Puppy Mill!  But it has to be, and not only that, but Mom brought out the dog in a small box, inside a plastic bag!  That is certainly cruel, if not outright illegal!  Mom acted like nothing was going on, but all the way home the package barked, whined, and whimpered.  Queen Sophine, in her usual self-centeredness, pretended not to notice.  I sat right next to that box and clearly displayed to Mom my displeasure.  Mom told me to "wait until Christmas."

Christmas? That poor puppy will be dead by Christmas, if not by suffocation, then by starvation.  I thought that I could trust my own Mother, but apparently not when it comes to "coupons," and "Christmas specials," and something about "hot toys."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Feathers versus Dog Hair</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749398</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Nov 2011 12:04:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749398</guid>
		<description>It seems that Feathers are the new fashion trend.  They could be the &quot;old&quot; fashion trend, but Cincin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It seems that Feathers are the new fashion trend.  They could be the "old" fashion trend, but Cincinnati is not exactly California or New York.  Many fashions are "out" when they first become "in" in Cincinnati.

Anyhoodles, it is astonishing now who is out and about sporting Feathers in the hair.  Little Girls.  The kindermusik Teacher. Teenagers.

Mom does NOT have a Feather.

Here is why:  Who needs a Feather, or Feathers in the hair, when one can have Dog Hair in the hair, in fact all over one's clothes, every day?  And the Dog Hair is FREE.  Mom doesn't have to go to some "Salon" to have her Dog Hair installed -- Sophie and I apply it lovingly, fresh, at all times.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Safely Home Today</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749066</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:42:28 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/749066</guid>
		<description>I am spending the day at home.  Dad and Middle Lad are out having driving practice.  Middle Lad has  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am spending the day at home.  Dad and Middle Lad are out having driving practice.  Middle Lad has had his Learner's Permit for some time now, but has not done any driving lately.  He has been very busy with band and school, and he and Dad both needed time to get over the last driving attempt.  Dad and Middle Lad drove up to the YMCA for an errand.  Upon leaving the parking lot, Middle Lad mixed up the gas pedal and the brake pedal.  No damage was done to anyone or anything, but everyone was quite scared.  After wiping up the seats, they drove home, and no driving has been done since.

I have yet to drive with Middle Lad.  Unlike Mulligan, who happily submitted his head and neck to the whiplashing of Oldest Lad learning to drive; I have no desire to be Crash Test Pennie.  Once Middle Lad has become fairly adept at driving, then like any dog hankering to spend a Sunday afternoon driving about town and country, I will leap into the car.  In the meantime, I am not supposed to be allowed in Dad's car. (Like Dad's side of the Concrete Queen Bed, Dad does not like to share His Car with dogs.)  I gave a small snort of feigned displeasure that Middle Lad and Dad would be going out in Dad's car, and then decided I would spend the day napping.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cranberry Chair</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/748574</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:31:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/748574</guid>
		<description>Over the weekend Mom, Dad, Middle Lad, Little Lad, and the Wee Lass abandoned Sophie and I while the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Over the weekend Mom, Dad, Middle Lad, Little Lad, and the Wee Lass abandoned Sophie and I while they headed off to visit Dad's Mom, her dog, and her cat.  I can't honestly say we were abandoned, as we enjoyed ourselves immensely being entertained by Oldest Lad coming over, with Housemate's Dog, Daisy, and then later in the evening, another dog came to visit, a Corgi puppy.

Grandma has newly re-upholstered chairs at her house -- a lovely Cranberry color.  There is of course an problem with Cranberry Colored Chairs:  Grandma's Dog is Golden Retriever-Colored, and her cat is Maine Coon-Colored.  Mom did not initially even notice Grandma's new Cranberry Chairs, for they were covered over completely in faux-suede sheets.

I have taken, of late, to curling up in one of the living room chairs.  The living room is not used for much other than piano/saxophone practice, folding laundry, and setting up train tracks.  Mom sits on the couch so that she can crochet, do paper work, or read, while she keeps an eye on Middle Lad doing his homework.  Other than that, the room is rather wasted, so I thought that I should try out the chairs.  Besides, I was getting tired of Mom complaining about me laying on the clean laundry that has of late piled up on the couch.

Apparently the living room chairs, despite being comfortable, are not for sitting, or even napping.  Mom was practical enough to purchase chairs that, while not dog-hair colored, do have a mix of brown, gold, burgundy, green, blues, etc, that manage to at least HIDE dog hair.

So, the moral of this story is that it is best to have chairs outfitted in a covering that closely matches the covering of the incumbent dog and/or cat.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sleeping better</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/747149</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Nov 2011 09:55:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/747149</guid>
		<description>Mom has been sleeping with Sophie on the couch the last couple nights because Dad has caught a cold  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has been sleeping with Sophie on the couch the last couple nights because Dad has caught a cold and in addition to his usual snoring, is making other loathsome and discomfiting sounds.

Sophie and I came up with a quite reasonable way to share the couch with Mom, and help her sleep better:  I get one couch cushion, Sophie gets a couch cushion, and Mom gets the middle couch cushion.  We can all be curled up in a our respective balls:  Pennie-ball, Sophie-ball, and Mom-ball.  Plus, Sophie and I do not have to jockey for who gets to touch Mom; we have equal access.

Mom complains that she is not comfortable sleeping a ball.  Mom says that she has been waking up with a back ache, and with sore legs.  Mom just does not know that Nurse Pennie Knows Best.

Dogs naturally curl up into balls, with their noses tucked under their tails.  This puts the nose right near the bottom.  This allows the dog to breathe in the naturally humidified healing vapors that eke out, clearing the nose and the lungs.  

The curled position also stretches out the dog spinal chord.  Humans tend to sleep stretched out, then wake up with a crick in the back.  When is the last time anyone has seen a dog awaken, put a paw on it's back, and stumble over to brew up a pot of coffee, just to meet the day?  No, the dog's back wakes up refreshed, ready to run outside to chase squirrels.

I am certain that if Sophie and I can just keep Mom sleeping curled up, between us, that Mom will breathe better, her back will be stronger, and she will be as energetic as we are.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hot Dogs on TV</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/745843</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:58:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/745843</guid>
		<description>I have been enjoying watching some awesome dogs on &quot;Blue-Collar Dogs,&quot; on NatGeo.  I still don't und ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been enjoying watching some awesome dogs on "Blue-Collar Dogs," on NatGeo.  I still don't understand why the National Geographic Channel now calls itself "Nat Geo."  It's still TV for nerds, and calling it "Nat Geo" is not going to make it any cooler.

Incidentally, our cable is Time Warner, and for some reason "Blue-Collar Dogs" since it has a dash in the middle, is not listed alphabetically, although still in the "B" section.  So if anyone wants to see some of the gorgeous hunks of working canines, be creative in the search process.

Pawsonally, not only did I enjoy the story line, but I found some of the dogs to be exuding handsomosity and vigor, almost like a Canine "Baywatch."  So far there have been two episodes, and I am not sure if there are more -- one episode is about New York working dogs and one episode is about Drug Sniffing Border Patrol Dogs.

Two Dew Claws up for handsome canines AND plot.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie and Sophie clear, Dad in doghouse</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/745357</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 22 Oct 2011 15:55:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/745357</guid>
		<description>On Thursday night, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, not ours, due to Middle Lad failing to i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Thursday night, there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, not ours, due to Middle Lad failing to inform Mom and Dad, until Tuesday, of a Science Project that was due on Friday.  Middle Lad had as well Al Gebra II homework, an English Essay,  a Spanish Quiz, and a History Essay.  Needless to say, as Nannie Pennie and Tutor Pennie, I had my paws full.  Human teens just never learn that if they have know for well on a week about a Project, that said Project can be completed in a timely fashion without putting the entire family through undue duress and without incurring drastic punishment upon themselves.  (I was certain that this time Mom was going to let me bite him.)

Sophie and I were forced to stay up exceedingly late Thursday night, and then had to get up very early on Friday morning.  We had to help quiz Middle Lad on his Spanish vocabulary, as well help him with his Al Gebra and History, for he just got too tired Thursday night after gluing all those neutrons and protons together, and arranging electrons.

Dad was supposed to get up at 4:30 AM! to leave for a meeting.

Dad's alarm went off at 4:30.  He promptly grumped:  "Do the Dog's HAVE to sleep on MY side of the bed!"  Then he went back to snoring.  Mom, Sophie and I never went back to achieving a good level of slumber.

Middle Lad and Mom got up at 5:00 AM, and of course Sophie and I got up as well; to commence our duties as Tutor Pennie and Tutor Sophie.  Dad snored away until 5:50!

Here is the issue:  At 4:30 AM when Dad's alarm went off:  MOM was snuggled up against Dad.  Sophie and I had NO body parts in any way infringing upon Dad's side of the bed; we were both completely on the other side of Mom.

Needless to say, DAD has found himself in the doghouse.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sweetest Day</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/744591</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Oct 2011 08:44:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/744591</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad stopped by the other day to give Sophie and I gifts for Sweetest Day:  We each received a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad stopped by the other day to give Sophie and I gifts for Sweetest Day:  We each received a card and a braided bully stick.

Sophie retreated to the bay window to gnaw on her braided bully stick.  I chewed mine in the family room.  Mom did NOT appreciate the smell.  In fact, if it were not for Oldest Lad, Sophie and I would never get Bully Sticks -- Mom thinks they are disgusting!

Pawsonally, I found my Braided Bully Stick delicious, and quite worthy of a good gnaw.

I do have one question however:  before the Bully has dried, while it is still "fresh" so to bark, who has the job of braiding Bullies?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Economic Plan:  PEP</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/744070</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 13 Oct 2011 15:39:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/744070</guid>
		<description>It is still over a year until the next presidential election, and yet the news, if not about the dis ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is still over a year until the next presidential election, and yet the news, if not about the dismal economy, is all about those hoping to one of the nominees.  I find that I myself have my own opinions, but must keep many of them to myself.

I have been busy formulating my own Economic Plan, however, the Pennie Economic Plan.  It is all about dogs, a "Dog, Dog, Dog," plan, so to bark.

My Health Care Plan is of course based upon Exercise, with one or more dogs, and Compression Therapy.  For those unaware of the tenets of Compression Therapy:  A dog lays upon, or near the human victim, I mean patient, and the warmth of the dog stimulates the patient's circulation.  In the meantime, the Dog's Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors, from Both Ends of the Dog, stimulate the cleansing of the nasal  and lung passages.

Energy Plan:  Dogs, even small dogs, put off a tremendous amount of DTUs, or Dog Thermal Units.  Having one or more dogs in a home naturally saves on the home heating bills, especially if at least one dog sleeps in bed at night per human.  For warmer climates, dog hair is naturally insulating, and the shed hair can be added to the walls, ceilings, floor, and most of all the attic, to trap the cooler air inside the home, lower the cost of air conditioning, through naturally produced, non-toxic insulation.

Monetary/Community Revival:  Naturally a home with more dogs is more family friendly, and the occupants will want to engage in money-saving activities that center around the life of the dog.  This will encourage people to save more money, bringing families back together for family meals (which will also help the Obesity Epidemic due to eating out too much.)  This will also lead to Community Revival, as Singles, Families, and Retirees, all exercising their dogs, naturally get to know each other, and communicate to share their resources as they do so.

I shall continue to work on my PEP, but now I need to nap upon my new CHILL Pad, which arrived today in the mail!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>&quot;Occupy Wall Street&quot; Out of Control! or Not?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/743860</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 12 Oct 2011 09:23:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/743860</guid>
		<description>&quot;Occupy Wall Street,&quot; the protest movement going on in New York City, as well as cities across the U ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ "Occupy Wall Street," the protest movement going on in New York City, as well as cities across the United States, started a new tactic yesterday:  Instead of just protesting Wall Street, itself, protesters actually picked the homes of several Wall Street CEOs and moved the Protest there.

Now, my opinion of the "Occupy Wall Street" Protest, is not my business.  However, when it spreads to Protesting the HOMES of Wall Street Workers, then it is in effect, Protesting Wall Street DOGS (and cats, and other pets.)

I have mixed feelings as to whether or not I would want a Protest held at my own 0.46 acres of Suburbia.

One of the pictures of the "Occupy Wall Street" Protest, showed the protesters protesting at an Apartment building.  One must ASSUME that the Apartment Building houses Dogs, Cats, and other animals, who were probably home at the time.

1.  Can one imagine the combined barking and excitement of the Dogs protesting the Protesters -- certainly it would make for an exciting day, but would it put the dogs very lives in danger, as no doubt the elderly lady in Apartment 4B would complain, and the dogs would face eviction?

2.  For Protests at One-Family Homes, what is the etiquette for a Dog to go outside to take care of bodily functions?  For that matter, if one's home is to be Protested, is one expected to pick up poop first?  Mom would probably like to leave a whole two or three weeks worth of poop out, for the Protesters to step in, but then she would worry they would think she was a slob.

3.  What if a dog bites a Protester?  I am usually Hostess Pennie, but I am not sure how I would react to an angry placard-waving mob yelling and trampling down my favorite sunning spots.  What if I bit one of them?

I am thinking that perhaps Protesting should be kept to the Public Arena, to keep Pets safe from all the ramifications of dog bites, dog eviction, when/where to poop, etc.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Chill Pad Winner</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/742646</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 5 Oct 2011 13:59:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/742646</guid>
		<description>I am pleased to announce that Sophie and I are the winners of the Chill Pad Contest.

I do have on ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am pleased to announce that Sophie and I are the winners of the Chill Pad Contest.

I do have one concern:  During the day, the Pistachio, size Medium will be perfectly sized for either Sophie or Me, Pennie, but should we have ordered up a size for night-time, when Dad will need to sleep upon it?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Easy Walk number three</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/742244</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 3 Oct 2011 11:02:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/742244</guid>
		<description>Yesterday I chewed through Easy Walk Harness Number Three.

I walk better with a harness.  Unfortu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday I chewed through Easy Walk Harness Number Three.

I walk better with a harness.  Unfortunately, Mom has yet to find a harness that I am unable to chew  off of myself, even with it adjust properly.

I went through two Easy Walk harnesses in a short time, and Mom gave up.  Then when Sophie arrived, Mom got an Easy Walk harness for Sophie, under advisement from Sophie's Shelter.  That is when Mom found out that Easy Walk Harness has a Warranty.  Mom decided that she would once again try a harness for me.

I used my harness for several months.  Mom was quite careful to put it on me when I was ready for a walk, then take it off right afterward.

Yesterday, Dad put the Harness on me, and then all he did was put on his shoes.  He did not even leave the Utility Room -- we were together the whole time.

In a matter of seconds I wiggled my long, gorgeous Pennie Snout down and managed to wedge my teeth around the harness.  I was free, and the harness was bit clean through.

Mom called the Easy Walk Company and she must mail the chewed harness back, along with a check for $7.95, for a replacement.  If I chew through the replacement, then I believe I shall be un-harnessed forever.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Suspicious Behavior</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/741470</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 29 Sep 2011 12:25:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/741470</guid>
		<description>This morning Mom gave Me and Sophie an unexpected treat:  Middle Lad has not been eating lunch latel ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Mom gave Me and Sophie an unexpected treat:  Middle Lad has not been eating lunch lately.  Middle Lad has always been a Problem Child.  Pawsonally, as Nannie Pennie, I would like to just bite him!  This morning Middle Lad had two perfectly good day-old soy nut butter sandwiches that he took out of his backpack, to be replaced by a new soy nut butter sandwich.  He "claimed" to Mom that he bought his lunch at school yesterday, and thus did not need to eat the sandwiches.  If Middle Lad wastes away to nothing, then I suppose his mattress can just be given to The Wee Lass, and then I can that much sooner lay claim to the Toddler Bed, which I intend to use for napping.  The Toddler Bed is perfectly Pennie-sized and comes complete with sheets and blankets.

Anyhoodle, Mom gave one slightly dried out soy nut butter sandwich to ME, and one to Sophie.  The crusts were even cut off (but we had eaten the crusts yesterday, when Mom made the sandwiches.)

After we went for a ride to drop Wee Lass, the three of us:  Mom, Pennie, and Sophie, went for a walk.

Then we had kibble. (I believe it was a smaller ration, due to the breakfast sandwich.)

Mom then had to go out again.  When she left, she gave Sophie a piece of fruit bread while she was putting Sophie in her crate, and then she gave Me a piece of fruit bread.

Why was Mom being so nice and generous?  Sandwich, Ride, Walk, Kibble, Treat?  This is highly suspicious.

I wonder if the sandwiches or the fruit bread were poisoned.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Acorn Season</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/741084</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 27 Sep 2011 12:04:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/741084</guid>
		<description>Just yesterday, Dogster's Daily Blog reminded Dogs that Acorns should not be eaten; that acorns are  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just yesterday, Dogster's Daily Blog reminded Dogs that Acorns should not be eaten; that acorns are poisonous to dogs.

If only acorns were poisonous to squirrels . . . .

In the backyard of my 0.46 acres of Suburbia is a large Oak Tree.  There are many Autumn days when it is impossible to go outside without getting hit in the head with a falling acorn.  The squirrels feast upon these acorns with willful abandon.  During Acorn Season, when I am going to go outside, I prime myself before the back door is even open.  As soon as the backdoor opens, I race out at breakneck speed, not even checking for squirrels first, because I KNOW there will be at least one squirrel feasting in my backyard.

Here is Mom's question:  Mom has lived in this home now since the beginning of 1999.  Samson, Tyler, Mulligan, and now Sophie and I, have all lived here.

None of us dogs have eaten the acorns. (Or at least eaten enough to get sick.)

How do we know not to eat the acorns?  It is impossible to walk across the grass in the Autumn without crunching upon the acorns, yet us dogs don't consume them.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Delegating.  Hmmph.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/740377</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Sep 2011 11:43:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/740377</guid>
		<description>We enjoy reading Dogster's Daily Tips.  Today's tip did seem a bit hysterical, however:

&quot;It takes ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We enjoy reading Dogster's Daily Tips.  Today's tip did seem a bit hysterical, however:

"It takes a household to raise a dog. Before you even bring your new pet brought home, create a list of doggie-related household rules and tasks. Who will walk the dog? If you're getting a puppy, who will be responsible for midnight potty breaks during the training stage? Who will take the dog to training class and be in charge of initially training new behaviors? Who is financially responsible for the dog's care? Who will take it to the vet or the groomer? 

Delineating these responsibilities before you bring your dog home will help everyone."

Really.

Let's break this down to reality.
Who will pick up poop?  Mom
Who will feed the dogs? Mom, except when she excessively nags, yells, and screams, then one of the Lads.
Who bathes the dogs after they roll in deer poop?  Mom
Who takes the dogs to the vet?  Mom
Who takes the dogs out?  Mom
Who is financially responsible for the dogs?  Dad
Who cleans up dog hair?  No one really, but when the clumps get big enough, Mom.
Who do the dogs love best?  Mom]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dog Song</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/739827</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 20 Sep 2011 16:58:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/739827</guid>
		<description>My Mother has been relentless sing this song, which initially started with Dad singing, &quot;All the Dog ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Mother has been relentless sing this song, which initially started with Dad singing, "All the Dogs are Brown."  Now Mom is catching a cold, and I believe the cold medicine has gone to her brain.

All the dogs are brown
And they turn me grey 
I went  for a walk
One Suburban Day
My arms are getting tired
As they tug away

Shelter Special Dreaming
On such a Suburban Day

Stopped upon a lawn
I passed along the way
Well, I got down on my knees
And scooped the poop away]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog Camille Adopted!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/739105</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 17 Sep 2011 09:10:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/739105</guid>
		<description>We received the good news today that Rental Dog Camille has been adopted!  A Mom and her son adopted ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We received the good news today that Rental Dog Camille has been adopted!  A Mom and her son adopted Camille on Friday.  Camille sure did enjoy hanging out with the family, so this should be perfect for her.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>So I slept in???</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/738593</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 Sep 2011 11:02:11 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/738593</guid>
		<description>I worked hard all weekend, supervising Oldest Lad while he was putting water sealant/stain on the sw ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I worked hard all weekend, supervising Oldest Lad while he was putting water sealant/stain on the swing set and play set.  Sophie spent her time surveying her realm from the comfort of the chaise lounge on the screened in back porch.  Not me, Pennie.  I am a working dog!

Monday morning was Little Lad's very first day of Before School Band Practice.  When Mom got up with Middle Lad, Sophie got up, and then she stayed up and hustled Little Lad off to Band with his saxophone.  I was not in the family when Middle Lad, nor even Oldest Lad began to play saxophone.  I must confess that the assault to my sensitive ears of a beginning saxophone player is torture.  I do believe that the military could tape Little Lad's daily practice attempts and use it as the new replacement for Waterboarding, since waterboarding has gone out of style. 

But I digress.

Tuesday morning, I again slept in when Mom awakened Middle Lad, and subsequently hustled Little Lad off for his first Chorus practice.  (Thankfully Little Lad actually sings on pitch.)

What did I get?  Criticism!  Yes.  I was criticized and rebuked for sleeping in on Monday and Tuesday!

I intentionally slept in to FORCE Sophie to lift a paw and do a little work!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Home Maintenance Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/738029</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:51:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/738029</guid>
		<description>Yesterday, Oldest Lad spent the day &quot;staining&quot; the swing set and the play set in the back yard.  The ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday, Oldest Lad spent the day "staining" the swing set and the play set in the back yard.  The swing set was in the yard when The Family moved in.  Dad built the play set in the drive way, and then assembled it in it's current resting spot.  As both structures are made of wood (except of course the swings, slide, etc.,) they periodically need to be stained/water sealed.  Today Oldest Lad is expected to finish up the play set and move on to staining the outside portion of the back porch.

Of course it was Me, Home Maintenance Pennie, who stayed nearby, supervising Oldest Lad, all day.  Where was Sophie?  Queen Sophie spent the day stretched out upon a chaise lounge chair, upon the covered portion of the back porch.  I suppose in her Queen Sophine mind she is certain that she was overseeing her domain, but to me it looked like she was getting a good nap in, under cover of the screened-in porch, while I worked all day.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Maintenance Dog Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/736256</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 1 Sep 2011 15:05:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/736256</guid>
		<description>I am once again being called upon to perform more tasks, more labor, to grind my poor paws to the bo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am once again being called upon to perform more tasks, more labor, to grind my poor paws to the bone.

I am officially a "canine non grata" at Oldest Lad's new apartment.  Mom and I have not visited it yet, so it is not known whether it shall be an upgrade to "The Structure."  "The Structure" earned it's name because to call it a "house" was an insult to houses everywhere.  

Purportedly, The Apartment is better than "The Structure," but already I am being called on as Maintenance Dog Pennie!  However, I can not visit The Apartment for Dogs are not welcome.  Housemate Dog Daisy IS living there, but Housemate Dog Daisy's Man has paid a Dog Deposit.  I am uncertain if I can sneak in for short visits.  Oldest Lad was forced to give up being a Foster Parent to Dogs because it is one thing to have an adult, well-mannered Daisy-Dog living in an Apartment where clearly the Landlord is not thrilled with dogs; it is another to have a Foster who might have behavioral issues.

Anyhoodles, A MOUSE has been discovered in the apartment.  One would assume that Daisy could get off one of the two couches, three beds, or the recliner chair and hunt down this mouse.  But no, after living with University Students for an entire year, Daisy sleeps until noon, watches NetFlix, and watches College Sports.  I do believe she studies in the middle of the night, like the rest.  I am not sure if she drinks beer, but I would not be surprised.

Oldest Lad is in urgent need for ME, Pennie, to head down to University and be Maintenance Dog Pennie, Huntress Pennie, and find the Mouse, which is no doubt actually MICE, as a Mouse seldom lives a solitary existence.

Daisy Dog is a beautiful all black dog.  I am a Standard American Brown Dog.  If Oldest Lad wishes me to hunt down his mice, he may have some explaining to do if the Landlord drives by. In the meantime, how much work can one Pennie Dog do?  I have my paws full just trying to make Middle Lad do his homework.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Inspecting Packages</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/734696</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:40:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/734696</guid>
		<description>It is my duty to protect The Home.  This 0.46 acres of Suburbia has traditionally been called the Mu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is my duty to protect The Home.  This 0.46 acres of Suburbia has traditionally been called the Mulligan Compound, but I am considering changing the name.  While it is quite clear that Queen Sophine thinks that she "rules" over this Dominion of Suburbia, it is clear that it is Me, Pennie, that does all the real work.  I am currently pondering a name change.

Anyhoodles, I inspect all parcels, packages, backpacks, purses, etc, that come into my domain.  I also thoroughly inspect any persons entering my domain.  Those who might complain of the indignity of a Transportation Safety Authority (TSA) full "Pat-Down" or scan, would consider that a hand-shake, compared to a Full Pennie Inspection.

Today Mom returned home with the mini-van trunk full of groceries and the back seat full of school supplies.  While Mom was busy bringing packages into the house, I jumped into the trunk, over the back seat and into the passenger compartment of the van.  I proceeded with a full inspection.  Instead of thanks for a job well done, what did I get?  Complaints from Mom that I had jumped on top of the food, walked on the food, then jumped and walked all over the bags of school supplies. 

What does a Pennie Dog have to do to gain appreciation?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog Camille Pup-date</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/733896</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Aug 2011 12:55:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/733896</guid>
		<description>Rental Dog Camille returned to the Shelter today.  She had an Interview with a prospective family. M ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Rental Dog Camille returned to the Shelter today.  She had an Interview with a prospective family. Mom and Oldest Lad loaded up Rental Dog Camille into the van and off they went to the Shelter.

In anticipation, we spent yesterday celebrating Rental Dog Camille with the Slip and Scoot, water fun, and general backyard revelry.  We each received a large rawhide chew to finish off the evening.

Unfortunately, the family that was interested in Rental Dog Camille were indecisive about their adoption plans.  They have not had a dog before and Rental Dog Camille is the first dog for them to interview.

Mom and Oldest Lad left Rental Dog Camille at The Shelter, unadopted, with heavy hearts.  Oldest Lad is soon to be moving into his new housing, which has an expensive dog deposit.  Housemate Dog Daisy WILL be able to join the new housing, but Rental Dog Camille is still a pup.  Daisy is very unlikely to cause any damage, but with pups, one can certainly expect at least a few accidents, if not some gnawed woodwork.  It is just best that Oldest Lad not foster any dogs in this new housing situation.

And of course, any pup reading the pages of Me, or Sophie, knows that having three dogs here has not been idyllic.  It seems that Sophie and I get along fine.  Sophie and Camille get along fine.  Pennie and Camille get along fine.  Put the three of us together?  Somehow the Pack Order is upset, and Sophie has borne the brunt of MY dis-satisfaction.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Consequences of not inviting Nannie Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/732588</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 14 Aug 2011 19:47:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/732588</guid>
		<description>The family left this weekend to witness the marital vows of Cousin Three with the Man of her dreams. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The family left this weekend to witness the marital vows of Cousin Three with the Man of her dreams.  Sophie and I were NOT invited.  We were banished to the kennel, as I do enjoy redecorating the house when I realize that the family has left with suitcases.  I am fine when they leave for normal events, but something about suitcases brings out Interior Design Pennie.  Unfortunately, Mom has been most unappreciative of my latest endeavors, such as attempting to remove the dreadfully ugly carpet from her bedroom.

The website of the Motel at which the family was staying clearly stated that dogs were welcome, but only dogs weighing 20 pounds or less.  Mom thought that perhaps she could scrunch Sophie down to look anemic, but I weigh 50 pounds -- there was no way I could pass for "small."  Once Mom arrived, however, not only were there several Dogs visiting the hotel, but LARGE dogs.  Once in particular was 4 times 20 at least, and certainly looked like it had never missed a bowl of kibble.  Obviously the "Pet Policy" was used with discretion.

Anyhoodles, my NON-invitation to the wedding had extreme consequences for Middle Lad.  Middle Lad is peanut allergic.  Normally, Middle Lad eats nothing, and when he does, he is very careful to check labels.  However, at the wedding reception, at each place was a little bag of frosted kibble.  Tasty, non-labelled kibble mix of cereal, pretzels, PEANUTS, M&Ms, all coated in some sort of icing.  Middle Lad sat with Other Cousins instead of Mom.  Soon Middle Lad came over to Mom, pawing at himself, and asking if Mom knew "what was in the little white bags."  Having indulged herself of some of the white bag kibble, Mom was shocked.  Middle Lad had not eaten the peanuts, but had indulged himself of the other items, which had of course contacted the peanuts.

Alls well that ends with a shot of Epi-Pen, two benadryls, and two Zyrtec. After all that anti-histamine, plus the upper high, then downer crash of the adrenalin shot, Middle Lad slept, although Mom did not, for she watched Middle Lad all night to ensure that he continued to recover.  Middle Lad's skin has transformed from being coated in hives to being coated in eczema, but the danger has passed.

So, one might ask of course, why is all of this to blame on ME, Pennie NOT being invited to the Wedding?  Simple.  I would have gone to every single table, removed all those little white bags, and eaten all that frosted kibble mixture, white bags and all.  I admit that I may even have used Sophie to help me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Compliancy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/731942</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:11:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/731942</guid>
		<description>Mom attended a meeting tonight for parents who have students in the Public School District who have  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom attended a meeting tonight for parents who have students in the Public School District who have Health Concerns.  The American Disabilities Act requires Accessibility and Compliance.

What about me?  Do I not have rights to Accessibility?  I would like to demand Compliance with my right to Accessibility to Food.  In particular I demand that the safety locks that keep the snack cabinet from being opened by both little hands and PAWS, be removed.

I intend to pursue legal action, if Accessibility is not improved.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>DAFT</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/731413</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 9 Aug 2011 10:44:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/731413</guid>
		<description>Mulligan may not always have been wise in his actions, but that is often true of the intelligentsia, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulligan may not always have been wise in his actions, but that is often true of the intelligentsia, the intellectual elite.

Mulligan proposed DAFT:  Dogs Against Facebook Threat.  He was quite concerned that our humans were wasting their time upon Facebook, instead of paying attention to us dogs.  Now there is a new threat even, Google+, which would need DAGPlus:  Dogs Against GooglePlus.  (Of course not Google the Search Engine, for how else would our humans find all those treats and toys for us?)

Anyhoodles, Mom has of late been a bit disenchanted with Facebook.  She would like all of her beloved Dogster Pals to know that she has NOT disappeared; that she is alive and well on Dogster, and may be contacted here.  Mom may or may not check in on Facebook, but will probably not be posting.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Birthday Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730954</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 5 Aug 2011 09:37:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730954</guid>
		<description>Despite having to put aside MY Birthday Celebration due to Dad's guests, I was quick to notice the a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Despite having to put aside MY Birthday Celebration due to Dad's guests, I was quick to notice the abundance of Red Meat that Dad brought home from the Grocery, so I decided to play Hostess with the Mostess Pennie.  Sophie gets nervous around quantities of people, and Rental Dog Camille is an exuberant Pup, so after approximately two minutes both of them managed to be banished to The Crate Society.  That left Me, Pennie, to work the crowd.  I was admired, rubbed, petted, and fed tender morsels.  Eventually Sophie and Rental Dog Camille were allowed out of The Crate Society, but by then I had absorbed most of the admiration and the largest number of morsels.

The Visitors then decided to leave to play Lazer Tag, taking all but The Wee Lass, Oldest Lad, and Mom.  In honor of MY Birthday, Sophie and Rental Dog Camille were left at home while I was taken to the local Family Pet Center to pick out new toys.  When the Owner discovered that it was my birthday, he gave me a Free Ice Cream.  The plan was to take me to the local Whip-Tee Dip for a Doggy Sundae. However, once I had my free Ice Cream, I was ready to go home and snuggle on the couch.  
All in all, Mom and Oldest Lad made up for my Birthday Celebration being delayed due to Dad's visitors, and my natural charms garnished me an abundance of hamburger and steak bits.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Birthday Blues</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730877</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 4 Aug 2011 11:48:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730877</guid>
		<description>Today is my birthday, or what passes for my birthday, as I was obtained from the shelter and my orig ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today is my birthday, or what passes for my birthday, as I was obtained from the shelter and my origins remain a secret.

This is how my family is celebrating my anniversary:  by doing nothing.

It's all Dad's fault.

Dad has some friends in town, who are coming to dinner and ruining any chance I have to be celebrated.  I supposed at my age, approximately Six, this is the best that I can hope.  I can't possibly leave.  Dog's at my ripe age don't exactly fare well in a Shelter.  No.  My family could turn me into an outside dog, tethered to the end of a rope, and fed kibble every other day, and that would be better than the chances I would face at the Shelter.  My family now holds all the cards!

Mom has promised that I shall receive my due Birthday Celebration after the guests leave.  It has happened that other family members have at times had to put off Birthday Celebrations for various reason; mainly due to Dad being out of town -- the general pattern being that it is Dad's fault.  It's not like I have zero hope that I won't receive SOME Birthday Celebration; after all my siblings have behaved far worse than I have and still received gifts.

In the meantime, I shall examine myself for gray hair.  I shall sigh at regular intervals, to ensure that Mom feels a full measure of guilt for casting me aside.  And of course I will plot for an even BIGGER Birthday gift or gifts.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Decorating Ideas?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730553</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 1 Aug 2011 09:59:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730553</guid>
		<description>Today while Mom was taking Little Lad to swim lessons, along with The Wee Lass; I decided to do a li ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today while Mom was taking Little Lad to swim lessons, along with The Wee Lass; I decided to do a little redecorating.  I am very good at SOME things.  We have zero moles in our yard, as I have eaten most of them, and the rest decided to move to other yards.  Despite the skirmishes that I have had with Sophie of late, I can be quite the Hostess with the Mostess to both other dogs and humans.  I can Supervise the Shop, the Yard, and the Home.  I am Nurse Pennie, Nannie Pennie, and of course Personal Hygiene Pennie, as anyone who has felt my cold wet nose in their personal privates can attest.

Unfortunately, I do not have the Paw for Decorating the House.  When Mom came home from "The Y," the "Rest" of the Pleated Shade, which I had decided to work on this morning, was an utter failure.  I had been working on it for some time, but really put my Paw to it today, and I am simply not Window Treatment Pennie.

Anyhoodles . . . 

The windows NEED some kind of shade/plantation blinds/treatment that can cover the window at night and when the family is not at home or wishes privacy, BUT is also somewhat durable to dogs.

Any suggestions before Mom decides that a Standard American Brown Fur Piece would make the perfect Window Blind?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What????</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730440</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 31 Jul 2011 12:13:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/730440</guid>
		<description>This morning Mom and The Wee Lass went off to Church while Dad, ever the Heathen, stayed home.  He w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Mom and The Wee Lass went off to Church while Dad, ever the Heathen, stayed home.  He was joined by Middle Lad and Little Lad, who were up late last night, and Mom did not feel like rousing them.

Whilst Mom was gone, The Cable Man paid a visit.  The Cable Man was Afraid of Dogs.  Certainly it can be overwhelming when someone knocks upon the door and faces immediate assault from Me, Sophie, and Rental Dog Camille, all jumping and barking.  However, this morning Rental Dog Camille was not home:  Oldest Lad is house sitting Calbert and Shamu, and took Rental Dog Camille with him for the night.  (Incidentally, Calbert does not know how to play XBOX 360.  Oldest Lad took the XBOX 360 over to the House Sitting House, in order to play on their Hi-Def Flat-Screen TV -- as opposed to our Fat-Screen TVs.  In Calbert's frustration, Calbert chewed up the XBOX 360 Controller, which happens to belong to Middle Lad.  Now Oldest Lad owes Middle Lad a new Controller.)

But I digress.

Mom often accused Dad of not listening to her.  Actually, none of us listen to her.

Therefore, Dad gave no thought to putting Sophie and Me into the enclosed space of the Utility Room, along with the open bag of Rental Dog Camille Puppy Kibble.  Needless to say, a skirmish broke out.

This is the Shock:  Sophie bit me!  Yes, instead of Sophie bearing bruises and nicks, it is my lovely face that has a scrape!  Now Sophie has the gall to be strutting around the house!

I, Pennie, am the ALPHA.  Sophie has no hope of being even an Alpha Minus.  And Mom is going to make sure there is no chance for me to prove it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog Naughtiness Update</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728396</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 13 Jul 2011 17:27:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728396</guid>
		<description>Today, this is what Queen Sophine did:  curl up in a little brindle ball with my eyes poking up, loo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today, this is what Queen Sophine did:  curl up in a little brindle ball with my eyes poking up, looking like a little Sophie Cobra Snake.  Wrestle with Rental Dog Camille.

This is what Rental Dog Camille did:  Digest a Thomas the Tank Engine Book, literally.  Drag Mom's skein of yarn out of her craft bag, still attached to the afghan Mom is working on, and unroll it upon the family room floor.  Isn't that supposed to be what CATS do?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>At least it was bloodless.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728267</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 Jul 2011 15:19:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728267</guid>
		<description>Queen Sophine, who was originally Rental Dog Sophie, arrived here at the regal age of approximately  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Queen Sophine, who was originally Rental Dog Sophie, arrived here at the regal age of approximately four.  She is not without bad habits, although she does claim perfection.  However, despite the occasional accident (including vomiting on the bed sheets) she has maintained relatively good behavior.

When I arrived from the Shelter, I had recently given birth to a litter of pups.  I had obviously been an "outside" dog prior to my banishment to the shelter, and the first few months were fraught with accidents as I learned to use the Backyard.  (I still do not "ask" to go outside.  Mom just lets me outside on a regular basis, and I am relatively accident free, unless stressed.)

Probably due to the recent weaning of pups, I developed the habit of wandering into Little Lad's room and creating a Pennie Nest amongst his stuffed animals.  For a reason I do not care to divulge, I bit the noses off of a great many of them.  Poor Little Lad was quite disturbed to come home to discover Nose-less Care Bears, and nose-less WebKinz, and nose-less other stuffed toys.  I eventually gave up biting off noses.

All of this pales in comparison to Rental Dog Camille.

Rental Dog Camille has taken a great predilection to chewing up Strawberry Shortcake Dolls, Barbie dolls, and doll-house dolls.

The crime scene last night was horrendous.  Rental Dog Camille chewed the head off a Barbie Doll, leaving the headless doll, chewed appendages and all, splayed out under the Kitchen Table.  Bits of Purple Barbie Hair were strewn about the carpet.  The Barbie Head was finally found hours later, rolling around the utility room floor.

I am certain that the entire family will suffer from Post Traumatic Stress after seeing that Barbie Corpse, and one can only wonder the impact it will have on the development of The Wee Lass.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sharing and non-sharing</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728154</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 11 Jul 2011 11:41:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/728154</guid>
		<description>It comes down to this:  Someone needs to adopt Rental Dog Camille.

Camille is a sweet dog.  She i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It comes down to this:  Someone needs to adopt Rental Dog Camille.

Camille is a sweet dog.  She is entertaining, enthusiastic, and friendly.

I do not waste too much time complaining about Rental Dog Camille, for I have had other things weighing upon my brain:  most recently of course being the Annual Blowing Up of Suburbia.  It has been since last Tuesday that we all awoke to:  Quiet.  Not to let us rest too easy, we do hear the occasional pop of random fireworks, but the worst is over.  My name is Pennie and I have been drug free for six days.

Camille is becoming too adjusted to Suburbia.

I share much with Camille.  We parallel nap.  We play outside together.  We gnaw on the same gnawing objects.

However, I have no desire to share:  Mom's lap.

I share Mom's lap with Sophie.  When I sit on Mom's lap, I wedge my bottom over on her left side, and drape my front half over her lap.  If Sophie joins us, then she sits on Mom's right thigh, and drapes part of herself over me.

The other day, while the family was watching TV and Sophie was gnawing on something, and I was gnawing on something, Mom suddenly realized that she still had a dog on top of her!

In perfect placement, Rental Dog Camille had wedged her puppy bottom over on Mom's left side, and draped her front half over Mom's lap.  That Pernicious Pup was obviously watching Me OR Sophie OR Me AND Sophie, and was now perfectly mimicking our Mom lap placement.

Rental Dog Camille must find a home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not much room</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/727349</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 3 Jul 2011 20:18:04 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/727349</guid>
		<description>Last night was the first night of intense fireworks.  During the week there were many random firewor ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night was the first night of intense fireworks.  During the week there were many random fireworks, but with a Three Day Weekend of the Annual Blowing Up Suburbia, the intensity started in about mid-day Saturday.

Mom gave me sedatives mid-afternoon.

Somehow, I felt "Comfortably Numb."
"O.K.
Just a little Cheese Wad.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good."

I have to admit I reached levels of patheticism that I thought unachievable in a Dog such as myself.  While Mom gave the Wee Lass a bath, I pathetically formed a Pennie Nest in a pile of dirty clothes and wet swim trunks the Lads had left on the bathroom floor.  Mom had to lift me physically up off the couch later on and force me to stumble out to go potty, but I refused.

Mom was worried about my bleary eyes and stumbling motions, so she eventually fell asleep on the couch. I was too exhausted and doped up to move over for her, so Mom was forced to curl in a ball with her legs hanging over Sophie and off the end of the couch.  Dad, insensitive brute, did not understand why Mom did not want to leave me in my drug induced fog.

Tonight promises more of the same, as neighbors just a few doors down are having their Annual Blowing Up Suburbia Party, which involves really big fireworks.  I hope they suffer as much of a hangover tomorrow as I do.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Independence Strategy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/727108</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 1 Jul 2011 10:58:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/727108</guid>
		<description>I have watched the award winning musical &quot;1776&quot; many times.  I have studied American History with Ol ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have watched the award winning musical "1776" many times.  I have studied American History with Oldest Lad, Middle Lad, and now with Little Lad.  I have watched many more documentaries on television due to my pawrents penchant for Boring TV.

The interpretation of the "Declaration of Independence," as depicted in "1776" and as read by Me, Pennie, has absolutely nothing to do with the freedom to blow up Suburbia, self-amputate appendages for fun, or purposefully wreak mayhem and destruction using loud explosive devices.

Apparently I am a better student of the "Declaration of Independence" than most Americans, as I recognize that the document is quite Sobering, and no where in it do I read anything about Fireworks.

I have begun my Independence Day Strategy.  Thus far I have consumed two diphenhydramine, often referred to as Benadryl, wrapped in Kraft Individually Wrapped Processed American Cheese, plastic enrobing removed.

I am wearing my new Thundershirt, just delivered by UPS, no signature required.

I have several high-dose sedatives secreted upon a top shelf, in case a higher level of sedation is required.

In the meantime, I am watching "Star Trek" with Middle Lad.  He discovered that the entire original series, all episodes, are available on NetFlix.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mental Health Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726966</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 30 Jun 2011 08:33:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726966</guid>
		<description>I went to the Vet today for my annual Probing and Violation.  I was proclaimed the picture of Physic ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I went to the Vet today for my annual Probing and Violation.  I was proclaimed the picture of Physical Health.  Mom discussed with the Vet my recent behaviors.  The Vet said that he did not see any physical cause, so my behaviors must be related to psychological causes.

Did the Vet run an entire Psychological Battery of Tests?
No.
How long did the Vet even see me?
About 7.5 minutes.

I pawsonally would like to know how this Vet would feel if he was pronounced as having a Mental Health Problem after only a 7.5 minute assessment, and without any formal testing?

Mom and the family will have to work to control what they can in my environment that is causing me anguish.  The Family can not control:  Stupid Neighbors who light off Fireworks, and Thunderstorms.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Poker Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726643</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 26 Jun 2011 19:07:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726643</guid>
		<description>Tonight I was all about being Hostess Pennie.  Middle Lad had several boys over for an evening of Po ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Tonight I was all about being Hostess Pennie.  Middle Lad had several boys over for an evening of Poker and hamburgers and hot dogs.  As soon as the door bell began to ring, I was right there, greeting all the boys, and sniffing out introductions.  Teenage boys smell so delightful!

Sophie was NOT overly friendly.  She put on her "I am so big and brave routine," and that landed her right up in Mom's bedroom.

Meanwhile, I hunkered down under the sea of teenage male legs at the kitchen table.  I put on a Perfect Pennie Poker Face.  I was fed fresh nibbles of hamburger and hot dogs.

Yes, it was ME, Pennie, that was a huge Poker Pennie Success, while Sophie ended up losing all her chips.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Needy, Nasty Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726508</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 25 Jun 2011 13:21:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/726508</guid>
		<description>I have been rather mean and nasty of late.  On Sunday evening, a hole was discovered on Sophie's hea ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been rather mean and nasty of late.  On Sunday evening, a hole was discovered on Sophie's head.  It was unclear who the perpetrator was, as there were several dogs gadding about at the time of the hole discovery.  However, on Thursday night when the family returned home to find Sophie again injured, it was obvious that it was ME, Pennie, as The Perp.

Since then I actually have been quite needy and not letting Mom out of my sight.

I have a Vet appointment this week, for my annual Probing and Violation, but Mom believes that I have been disturbed my many factors:

1.  The Ohio Valley has been plagued by relentless thunder storms and rain for months.  I do not like thunderstorms.  On Thursday night, while there was no storm; storms were brewing.

2.  The annual Suburbia Celebration of Independence by Blowing Up the Street/Houses/Appendages, has begun.  We have certain neighbors whose favorite fireworks are the ones with the loudest BOOM.  (Incidentally, it is legal for fireworks to be SOLD in Ohio, but not USED in Ohio.  Undoubtedly all the firework purchasers at the multitude of Ohio Firework Stores are coming here from Kentucky, Indiana, or Michigan, as surely no Ohio-ans would break this law.)

3.  Rental Dog Camille is living here.  This has upset the pack order.

4.  The Lads are home for the summer.

Mom has actually been able to share walks with me more, as when it is NOT raining, then she can take advantage of someone being home to watch The Wee Lass while she and I can share a walk.  However, I remain Needy Pennie.
My Dogster Pals know that I am forced to be Nannie Pennie, Nurse Pennie, Professor Pennie, etc, and for dogs sake, sometimes the Caregiver has Needs Too!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Scoot and Slide</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725637</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 17 Jun 2011 14:15:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725637</guid>
		<description>My very own Mother has posted a picture of me on the Scoot and Slip otherwise known as a Slip and Sl ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My very own Mother has posted a picture of me on the Scoot and Slip otherwise known as a Slip and Slide, or some other name for a horrendous idea.

I, Pennie, did not enjoy my Scoot and Slide Experience.

First off, there was no "slipping" involved.  The weight of ME, Pennie, plus Oldest Lad, negated any effects of Slip-a-tude that would have come from a wet length of vinyl.

Instead, the whole experience was just abject humiliation, as Oldest Lad Scooted himself down that length of vinyl, with me trapped in his lap.  I was forced  to get rained upon by the Sprinkler.

This also begs to question: why was Oldest Lad not in trouble for Scooting with Me?  I suppose we were already OUTSIDE, but anytime I am caught "Scooting," I am immediately sent outside with disdain.  Oldest Lad should have faced some recompense or at least harsh words for "scooting."

I must confess that I did enjoy drinking the water that was pooled at the end of the Scoot and Slide, but that was all.  And I did enjoy chasing Rental Dog Camille around the yard, frolicking in the water from the hose.  The afternoon was not a total waste, but I do NOT recommend the Scoot and Slide to any dog.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Vindicated.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725209</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Jun 2011 08:17:21 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725209</guid>
		<description>On Saturday morning, Mom discovered one of the trash cans turned over, and trash strewn about.  Mom  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Saturday morning, Mom discovered one of the trash cans turned over, and trash strewn about.  Mom was certain this was not MY work, as I had been out the night before, and the trash cans were upright, and I had yet to go out in the morning.  Mom usually does things like check on the uprighted-ness of trash cans before letting me and Sophie outside. (Mom can be a real pest.)

Mom told Dad about this incident and who did Dad blame:  Pennie.

Certainly I HAVE gone into the trash before.  In fact, there have been a few times that the cans have been knocked down and Mom has looked out to discover that I am completely inside a trash can.  I then must have a bath, but I the rewards of dumpster diving, whole body dumpster diving, are worth the nuisance of a bath.

Anyhoodles, this time Mom was certain I was innocent.  She defended my honor to Dad.

Last night Oldest Lad told Mom this:  When he and Other Woman went outside late at night on Saturday night, a RACCOON jumped out of the trashcan!  Oldest Lad said it scared Other Woman.  Oldest Lad did not admit to being scared, although I suspect he must have been at least startled.

Dad was gone last night, having headed off on a Business Trip.  Mom called him, and asked him to apologize to me.  I refused to come to the phone and accept Dad's apology.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Private Walk</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725025</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 11 Jun 2011 12:33:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/725025</guid>
		<description>This morning I took Mom on a Private Walk.  Last night, Queen Sophine and Rental Dog Camille slept i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning I took Mom on a Private Walk.  Last night, Queen Sophine and Rental Dog Camille slept in Oldest Lad's room.  I shared the Concrete Queen with Mom and Dad.  When Mom got up, everyone else was still sleeping.

Rental Dog Camille is an "Excitement Pee-er."

When Rental Dog Camille is going to come over, Oldest Lad calls the house just before his arrival so that Mom (or whoever is at home) can let Me, Pennie,  and Queen Sophine outside to greet Rental Dog Camille and she can get her Excitement Pee over with OUTSIDE.

The other day, Rental Dog Camille came over, got excited to see Me, Pennie, then laid down on her back and peed like a fountain right up into the air!  She even splashed her own face! (Yes, she did lick it.)  Mom had to wipe Rental Dog Camille down with Baby Wipes, which Camille tolerated but was not happy about.

This morning, Mom did not dare disturb Oldest Lad's door for fear of inducing Rental Dog Camille to Excitement Pee, inside Oldest Lad's bedroom, or even on his bed.

I took Mom for a walk, just the two of us.  It was a bit of a change.  We walked a bit further since Mom did not have Queen Sophine.  Oh, sure Queen Sophine keeps us just fine.  It's just that we almost always run into other dogs, and Mom keeps her focus better around other dogs if there is only one of us.

When I came home everyone was still sleeping!  Then they had baths.  I had a bath earlier this week, so I just needed a wipe down, as it rained last night and so I was a bit muddy.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Practical Uses of MUTTS Educational Program</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/724130</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Jun 2011 07:00:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/724130</guid>
		<description>Yesterday I unveiled the Pennie Educational Plan (PEP) which I have named MUTTS (Mutts United to Tea ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday I unveiled the Pennie Educational Plan (PEP) which I have named MUTTS (Mutts United to Teach/Tutor Students.)  It uses the basic principle of GRR (Growl, Reward, Reinforce) to help get dogs out of Shelters, and under desks everywhere!  Don't be confused by the Acronyms.  Education is full of Acronyms.  The Acronyms are purposely used to confuse people, especially parents of students who may have Special Needs or Learning Disabilities.  Then when the parents begin to feel they have some grasp, the Acronyms change.  For example:  Middle Lad "used" to have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder.)  Now it has been decided that it is all AD/HD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder) but Middle Lad is missing the "H" component.  That is intended to make him feel slighted, somehow.

But I digress.

My Dogster Pal <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href="http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1027582">Lil Bear</a>
 (http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1027582) pointed out that he does not have a student at his home.
MUTTS is all inclusive!  A dog can use MUTTS on ANY human, student or adult!

I use MUTTS to help Dad in his work, quite frequently.  Sometimes I lay under Dad's desk while he works or I lay on the futon nearby.  I gradually fall into deep Transcendental Educational Tutoring (TET.)  I have helped Dad create a strong Business Plan, and I have kept Dad calm on many a Business Call with a Customer by a simple alarmed stare.  When Dad becomes distracted, I gently use the GRR technique to Growl a bit at him to remind him to focus.  I offer him frequent Rewards of trips upstairs for a Snack, which I share with him to Reinforce our Work Together.  I allow Dad to use me to calm himself down, by offering my body for him to rub, and of course for a late day nap, as needed.

For a young child, such as The Wee Lass, GRR is used despite The Wee Lass not yet doing homework.  However, Reading is the most important part of her Educational Experience at this time.  GRR is used, again.  Trust me, it takes much herding, or gentle Growling to get The Wee Lass corralled upstairs for her nightly bath.  Afterwards, the Reward is Story Time with Pennie and Sophie!  The pleasure of Story Time is reinforced by the antics of The Wee Lass, Pennie, and Sophie all competing for the prime spot sitting of Mom or Dad's lap, and then hugs Good Night.

The MUTTS program can be adapted to any age group as all our humans should be lifelong learners and keep their minds stimulated in order to ward off mental decline.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie's Educational Program</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/724016</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 2 Jun 2011 06:33:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/724016</guid>
		<description>I have spent a very long Freshman year tutoring Middle Lad.  I have been offered brief respites to g ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have spent a very long Freshman year tutoring Middle Lad.  I have been offered brief respites to go to University to spend time with Oldest Lad and his housemates; all of whom take classes more fitting to my prowess as a tutor.

My year with Middle Lad has been particularly vexing as Middle Lad is not a model, cooperative student.  No. He has ADD and other Learning Disabilities.  I would like to bite him.  Instead, I have nurtured him, laid under his desk, growled gentle encouragement, and been up before the sun to send him off to school, with a reminder to eat breakfast.

It has been during my long hours spent under the Desk, that the idea came to ME, Pennie, to formulate my own Educational Program:

MUTTS. Mutts United to Teach/Tutor Students

All students can benefit from a dog to encourage them in their studies.  I chose "Mutts," but it could be a Pure Bred dog.  However that acronym would be "PUTTS."  That is too close to "Putz."  "MUTTS" is all inclusive; mutts, or pure-bred dogs may equally partake in the program, I just did not want anyone to be confused with a "Putz."  And of course just using "Dogs" would name the program "DUTTS," which has no ring to it at all.

The basic outline of the program is:

1.  The dog encourages the student in their studies.
2.  Sometimes when I am laying underneath Middle Lad's desk, it appears that I am napping. That is not so.  I have actually reached a state of Transcendental Educational Tutoring (TET.)  In time, all dogs will be able to achieve this state, some will achieve it at their first attempt at tutoring their student.
3.  GRR.  Growl, Reward, Reinforce.  This is a basic tenet of MUTTS.  
 
Growl:  A good Growl is a strong encouragement, particularly for a hesitant student.  It may need to be only a murmur or mutter, or even a strong stare.  Many dogs have a natural herding instinct and will simply need to round their student up to the place of study, nipping at the heels.  I don't recommend proceeding to full display of teeth, but after a day spent with an AD/HD child off focus, a dog may have to do what a dog may have to do.

Reward:  Reward the student by allowing them to pet, rub the belly, throw the ball.  A good cuddle on the couch while reading is a good Reward for the student.  Many students benefit from reading in bed, with the Mutt Tutor firmly planted next to them.

Reinforce:  Do not give up on the student!  Insist on going everywhere with the student.  Live their schedule, riding along to piano lessons, baseball practice, and the such, and always be ready to reinforce the educational experience by laying under the desk, no matter how many naps, I mean TET sessions are needed.  When studying for tests, a combination of Reward/Reinforcement can be used by Sharing a Treat, while Cuddling with the Study Guide upon the couch.

In future diary entries I will give further examples of the MUTTS GRR Program.  

Soon Pennie's MUTTS GRR Program will revolutionize Education and get Dogs OUT of the Shelters and Under the Desks!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Paw Gnaw</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723905</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 1 Jun 2011 08:10:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723905</guid>
		<description>On Sunday night I galavanted with reckless abandon at Calbert's house.  The night was hot and humid, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Sunday night I galavanted with reckless abandon at Calbert's house.  The night was hot and humid, but it was NOT raining, a miracle for the Ohio Valley of late, and Calbert and I put our tails up in the wind and played!  Queen Sophine sat elegantly in Dad's lap, keeping her bottom firmly away from any advances from Calbert Domination.

On Monday night Mom realized that I was licking and gnawing at my right front paw.  I licked and gnawed most of the night, leaving a large wet saliva spot on the bed, and incurring the wrath of Dad constantly telling me to stop licking.

Tuesday morning, Mom attempted to exam the Gnawed Paw.  I attempted to Gnaw Mom.  No, I did not attempt to Gnaw Mom -- I attempted to Bite Mom.

Mom enlisted Dad's help to hold me down while Mom pried apart my Paw.  On the top of my right paw, between the toes, I have some Boo Boos.  Mom applied antibacterial ointment, and I was set free.

All the rest of Tuesday, I was leery of Mom, for as soon as I settled down for a nap, she insisted on peeking at my paw!  As soon as I would get a good Paw Gnaw going, I was yelled at!  Honestly, that Woman needs more to do in her life than just annoy me!

By Tuesday night, anytime Mom came anywhere close to me, I curled my lips into a Pennie Smile.  Of course, Mom would have none of that.  She is one of those "if I brought you into my home, I can take you out," types, so she insisted on making me sit on her lap for a cuddle.  Then she put more ointment onto my paw.

I am glaring at her right now.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Reality of Dog versus Cat Drinking.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723676</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 May 2011 15:01:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723676</guid>
		<description>Our very own Dogster Website recently posted an article comparing the difference between how dogs an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Our very own Dogster Website recently posted an article comparing the difference between how dogs and cats hydrate themselves, as in drink water.

The following is an excerpt from the Dogster article:

"A study in the journal Science last year explored the science behind the cat lap. Using high-speed video, researchers were able to dramatically slow down footage of a cat drinking. They found that when the tip of a cat’s tongue barely touched the water’s surface, the water stuck to it. When the cat pulled her tongue back in, the movement created a water column on the back of her tongue, and the cat snapped her jaws around it after every lap before it could fall out."

The article goes on to explain that Dogs use much the same method, only dogs are Slobs.

I, Pennie, take offense at the explanation that Dogs are Slobs.

Here is MY explanation:

1.  Cats are stingy, self-serving creatures.  They do not want any water to fall out and make a mess because they do not want to SHARE.  A dog, on the other paw, is happy to share his/her water, and any over-spray while he/she drinks is simply watering plants, hydrating ants or mice, or even cleaning a spot on the kitchen floor.

2.  Cats are not thankful.  They do not want the water to in any way feel that they are "thankful" for it.  Dogs drink exuberantly to express to the water their thanks that it is hydrating them, that it is giving of itself to provide them life.

3.  Dogs appreciate Science.  Cats don't care that the miracle of Science creates that column of water that move the water up the tongue, nor do they even care about the miracle of hydrogen and oxygen.  Dogs, in their exuberance, are proclaiming to the world that Science is Cool! and cats just can't think anything is cool except themselves.

and that's Pennie's Opinion.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Professor Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723337</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 27 May 2011 07:40:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723337</guid>
		<description>I fully expect an increase in my Kibble Ration or some other reward commensurate with working my Paw ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I fully expect an increase in my Kibble Ration or some other reward commensurate with working my Paws to the bone as Professor Pennie!

Yesterday, Mom left, with The Wee Lass, and I was In Charge of Middle Lad and Little Lad from the time they came home from school, until Mom finally returned, stinking of Five Guys Hamburgers and Fries, and bringing none home for me.

While Mom was gone, I had to oversee Middle Lad work on his homework, including his Frog Dissection Lab!  I was unaware such graphic pictures were allowed posted on the Internet.  I was forced to help Little Lad study for his States and Capitals Test.  Yes, I, Pennie, know that Phoenix, Arizona, has an "O" in Phoenix, but I was beginning to threaten Little Lad with my teeth after seventeen times of him spelling Phoenix, "Phenix."

Mom was off galavanting with Oldest Lad as he received a Major Award.  I suppose I should be proud of Oldest Lad, and I am, but shouldn't it have been Me, Pennie, that sat at Oldest Lad's side during the award ceremony?  After all, I have spent far more hours studying with Oldest Lad than Mom has.  Hours laying under his desk.  Hours laying on his bed.  Hours laying in great heaps of dirty laundry.  Snoring, I mean Murmuring my encouragement into Oldest Lad's ears.

Anyhoodles, Oldest Lad received an award from the Criminal Justice Department, which is in the same College as the Department of Education, at University.  It was quite striking to note that all the Criminal Justice Majors, who were receiving awards, had a certain "look."  Clean cut.  Short hair.  Shiny shoes. The few women looked almost the same, only in dresses and maybe not the crew cut.  The "Education Majors," looked, well, "less intense."  Perhaps "more friendly."

Dogsters, what have I wrought?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sleep-Deprived Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723021</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 24 May 2011 11:29:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/723021</guid>
		<description>I have not been able to get my requisite amount of sleep.  The weather has been tumultuous.  In the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have not been able to get my requisite amount of sleep.  The weather has been tumultuous.  In the brief respites between storms, the family has made attempts at getting yard work done.  Of course I must supervise yard work.  On Saturday, my over-grown Sasquatch of a friend, Calbert, came over to play.  We paused while the families ate dinner, then I went to his house for more play.

Last night, no sooner had the family left for their respective activities, the Tornado and Thunderstorm Sirens went off.  Little Lad, The Wee Lass, and Dad returned home from the rained-out, tornado-warninged-out game.  Mom and Middle Lad spent a inordinate amount of time at Middle Lad's Band Concert/Band Awards night due to being forced to evacuate to the high school basement for some 30 to 45 minutes.

This is how bad it has become:  I did not even clean the egg off of Mom's plate of eggs last night, nor finish The Wee Lass' cinnamon toast.  Not only am I sleep-deprived, but these storms shall cause me to whither away to nothing.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sub-species or Super-species?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/722517</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 19 May 2011 09:36:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/722517</guid>
		<description>Last night was a LATE night! For days now Middle Lad has been working on a Taxonomic Classification  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night was a LATE night! For days now Middle Lad has been working on a Taxonomic Classification Project.  For those who have forgotten their high school biology:  Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species.

Middle Lad tracing the history and taxonomy of the Gray Wolf.  At first I was quite alarmed as Middle Lad does mumble so, and I thought he said "taxidermy."  I gave Sophie a firm shove in Middle Lad's direction, but then he repeated the word as "taxonomy."

I helped Middle Lad, as usual, as Tutor Pennie, spending hours laying under his desk.  I learned quite a bit about wolves (and dogs) during this endless project.

Wolves are Canus lupus.  Dogs are considered by some scientists to be a separate species, but by others to be a SUB-species of the wolf.  Some scientists classify dogs as Canus familiaris, but others classify dogs as Canus lupus familiaris, which would make dogs actually part of the Wolf Pack, or Species, not separate at all.  (Separate, but Equal?  That is a whole 'nuther debate.)

Pawsonally, I do not think that Dogs are a SUB Species of the Wolf, but a SUPER Species!  Which Canus is on the endangered list?  The dog or the wolf?  Which Canus must hunt for it's food while the other gets it's kibble portioned out in shiny bowls?  Which Canus sleeps outside while the other sleeps on a bed? I think that makes the Dog the Super Species, not the Sub-species!

After spending all that time growling and herding to focus ADD Middle Lad, when it came time to put the final Poster together:  Banished!  He did not want me in the room while he cut, glued, and assembled.  Truly, I never get any thanks for all the work that I put into that Middle Lad.

I managed to put my Poster Paw in at the very end!  I was not going be banished from the final poster after being Tutor Pennie during all the research:  I leaped over that gate, like a Standard American Brown Dog in a Steeplechase!  My paws did not even graze the wood of the gates, but landed smack in the center of the poster!  Since I had just been outside, one can just detect the faint imprint of a Pennie Paw upon the Poster, and perhaps a few Standard American Brown Dog Wolf Hairs stuck to the drying glue.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Piano Blues Battle</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/722085</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 15 May 2011 09:08:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/722085</guid>
		<description>Yesterday dawned cloudy and rainy, as the Ohio Valley has been for months on end.  Oldest Lad stoppe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday dawned cloudy and rainy, as the Ohio Valley has been for months on end.  Oldest Lad stopped by around noon with Daisy (his house-mate's Dog) and with Camille, Oldest Lad's latest Rental Dog.  Oldest Lad was home to watch The Wee Lass while Mom attended a Piano Recital in which Middle Lad was playing.

Middle Lad performed quite well, with no small thanks to ME, Pennie.  His first piece included some stumbling, but his second piece was played with confidence and power, and thundered it's way amongst the halls of the local hospital.  The local hospital has a Baby Grand Piano in it's foyer and is thus a favored spot for Piano Recitals.  Cheap entertainment for the hospital staff and patients, and a great chance for piano students to play on a quality instrument.

In time honored tradition, the piano teacher's Mother baked cookies for the students to take home with them as a Recital Treat.  Now who has sat through years of plinking key strokes?  Who has sat through years of Mom's endless nagging to practice, practice, practice, and the endless ringing and resetting of that cursed timer?  House-guest Daisy?  Rental Dog Camille?  NO!  Me.  Pennie.  (Okay, and Sophie has suffered the Piano Practice Blues as well, since she has been here, I must allow credit where credit is due.)

Upon Mom and Middle Lad's return from The Recital, Camille was exiled to the clam-shell crate, Daisy, Sophie and I were left loose, and Mom, The Wee Lass, Oldest Lad, and Middle Lad went off to Target.

When the humans came home, Mom entered the house and came upon a Crime Scene:  Two heavy wood kitchen chairs were laying on the floor.  The low gate to the Boy's office was turned over.  There were blood spots on the walls.  Blood spots on the floor.  The kitchen counter had items knocked all over.

Mom was in a panic.  At first she could not find Sophie.  Mom was certain that Sophie was Dead.  Then it was discovered that Sophie had run out of the house to talk to Oldest Lad as soon as Mom came home, and Mom had not seen her.  (That little Sophie Tattle Tail!) 

Sophie was un-injured.  It was Me, Pennie, and Daisy who had obviously been "up to something."  We spent three days together last weekend while Mom dog-sat Daisy, but that did not involve COOKIES!

Those Cookies were MY Cookies!  My Piano Practice Blues Cookies!  I was not even invited to attend the recital -- my only reward for all those long hours of practice and the twitching of my ears to the strike of a sour note was those COOKIES!

Mom took Me, Pennie, and wiped me down and checked me over, while Oldest Lad took Daisy and wiped her down and checked her over.  I was scraped up in several spots, and my back lags appeared a bit sore (perhaps from a chair falling on them?) but that was the extent of my injuries.

Daisy had several small puncture wounds to her right ear, as well as some nicks near her left eye.    Ears bleed quite a bit, so that probably accounted for most of the blood spatter, as well as my paw that had a small injury.

It was determined that Daisy needed to go to the Emergency Vet.  Mom and Oldest Lad were there for several hours, as two "true emergencies" came in while they were there.  Daisy's puncture wounds were cleaned and glued, (yes, glued!)  She was given antibiotics, for the Vet said that dog bites tend to become infected.

The Emergency Vet was not overly "upset" by the incident:  she seemed to think that with all the stormy weather the area has had, that something just set Daisy and Me, Pennie, Off, and we were not in a "Major" scuffle, more of a warning shot.  (Mom did not know of the Cookie involvement until she had a chance to sift through the forensic evidence.)

Meantime, it has been decided that perhaps Daisy and Me, Pennie, should not spend any time together for a while.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Tooth Grudge.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721890</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 13 May 2011 09:38:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721890</guid>
		<description>Last night Mom and Dad were watching Boring TV and as usual, expected me, Pennie, to join them for a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Mom and Dad were watching Boring TV and as usual, expected me, Pennie, to join them for a snuggle on the couch.  I refused.  I was begged.  I was implored, pleaded, and finally physically picked up and placed on the couch.  I got down and laid behind a chair.

I am holding a Tooth Grudge.

(If wondering where Queen Sophine was during all this, she was exiled to the Crate.  Her Royal Highness Sophie would like to say she was Exiled to Siberia for Civil Disobedience or some such nonsense, but in reality she was put in the plastic clam-shell crate after she had diarrhea on the Boy's Office carpet.  Crate Exile for Body Fluids, nothing "royal" about that.)

Anyhoodles, every since a certain Dogster Pal, who shall remain nameless, because I am NOT one to air troubles in the court of public opinion, but I digress . . . 
Every since this certain Dogster Pal had some teeth removed, Mom decided that I, Pennie, needed to have MY teeth addressed.  I have a broken Canine Tooth and a bit of tarter build up.

Mom purchased some minty-fresh gel that is "guaranteed" to aid in the removal of tartar and/or plaque build up simply by rubbing some on the teeth, daily at first, then every few days.  Mulligan used to allow Mom to actually brush his teeth with Poultry-flavored toothpaste, but Mom never had any luck getting me to submit to a teeth brushing.

Sophie, although she clearly is not thrilled about the minty fresh plaque removing gel, does allow Mom to apply it to her teeth, and then have a snuggle.  Sophie's teeth really didn't have much plaque on them anyway, and she probably feels that as a Queen she must flash a whitened smile.

Me?  I have not tried to remove Mom's hand as I did when she attempted to brush my teeth with the poultry-flavored toothpaste, but I have been "less than cooperative."  Mom, unfortunately, has been quite persistent.

In response, I am holding a Grudge against Mom.  I have even gone so far as to sleep on the FLOOR the last two nights, next to Mom's side of the bed, but not IN bed with Mom.  Thunderstorms are predicted again, so I fear that I may succumb to sleeping with Mom again, but I intend to continue my Tooth Grudge.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Need a bigger bed!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721419</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 8 May 2011 14:41:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721419</guid>
		<description>Last night simply proves that either Dad must move out to His Garage, or we need a replacement for t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night simply proves that either Dad must move out to His Garage, or we need a replacement for the Concrete Queen.  Dad has been muttering on about replacing the Concrete Queen for years.  When he first bought it; he insisted that he must have the firmest mattress made.  Mom is certain she has slept on bricks that have softened more over the years than the Concrete Queen; thus the nickname, Concrete Queen.

Anyhoodles, with Daisy as our houseguest, Dad spent Friday night sleeping downstairs after snoring away to late night TV.  On Saturday night he insisted on coming up to bed with Mom, Sophie, Daisy, and ME.

Mom, Dad, Sophie, and I all assumed our customary positions on the Concrete Queen:  Dad taking up his entire half, and Mom, Sophie and I sharing the other half.  After a few minutes a thunderstorm began.  Daisy was heard getting up from her spot laying on the floor next to Mom.  Next thing, Daisy was up too!  Daisy snuggled in next to Mom, making a Mom-sandwich, with Me and Sophie and Mom's feet.  I am certain Mom was very comfortable!  Mom has had to learn to make a Mom-ball, sort of like a Pennie-ball or a Sophie-ball.  Until Dad become less selfish, that is just how it has to be.

Unfortunately, several hours later Mom turned over and Daisy fell out of bed!  Daisy then jumped back up, and not wanting to sleep on the edge again, joined Sophie and I at the foot of the bed.

Dad had the gall to complain this morning that Dogs had entered his half of the bed!  Just wait, Dad, just wait, some night Dad will find himself sleeping in one of his non-working convertibles!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Workin' for a livin'</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721321</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 May 2011 18:38:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/721321</guid>
		<description>This weekend there has been a house-guest, Daisy, who belongs to a housemate of Oldest Lad.  While O ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This weekend there has been a house-guest, Daisy, who belongs to a housemate of Oldest Lad.  While Oldest Lad and his pals are engaging in licentious behavior at the Kentucky Derby, Daisy has been safely ensconced with us.  Even so, Daisy misses her Own Man.  Last night Daisy even hopped into bed!  Poor Dad:  he came upstairs and there I lay, upon Dad's pillows, Sophie was laying on Mom's legs, and DAISY was laying at the bottom of Dad's side of the bed.  Dad ended up sleeping downstairs.  He "could" have asked Daisy or Sophie to move, but I suppose he wanted to play martyr and keep his snores to himself.

I do recall that just recently, Rent-to-Own Sophie was only supposed to be a "Temporary Houseguest."  She didn't even live here, but foster lived with Oldest Lad, and then one day she went from Rental (Foster) to Living Here Permanently.  I was never consulted if I needed help, although I do work my paws to the bone for this family!

Now, I do get along fine with Daisy.  It's just that THREE Dogs?  Mom has made it clear that she has a limit of "Two dogs."  What if Mom (shudder, shudder) decides that I am not pulling my weight?

I have been working very hard since Daisy got here.  Pennie-on-the-spot!  Yes, I want to make sure that Mom doesn't think I am a Slacker, and give any thought to replacing me!  As soon as lunch was over, there I was, standing on the kitchen table, cleaning the lunch plates.  I have snuggled with Dad, even insisting on sitting on his lap!  Crumbs?  Mom won't need to run a vacuum on the kitchen floor, either, as I am making sure she knows that I, Pennie, am her number ONE DOG and here to stay!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Trouble on Easter</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719846</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 24 Apr 2011 12:48:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719846</guid>
		<description>Apparently, sometime in the 1970s, my Mom's first childhood dog, a German Shepherd named Duchess, ro ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Apparently, sometime in the 1970s, my Mom's first childhood dog, a German Shepherd named Duchess, rolled in a dead turtle to celebrate Easter Sunday.  Mom's Mother, known for her Irish temper, (which she passed on down to Mom,) was NOT pleased to scrub dead turtle off Duchess before preparing the Easter Dinner.  Mom's Father was never truly forgiven for the incident as he "should have known better" than to take Duchess walking next to a pond on Easter Sunday.

This afternoon I was visited by one of my favorite overgrown pals:  Calbert!  We romped and played in the 0.46 acres of swampland that used to be my yard.  At only April 24, Southwestern Ohio is already 8 inches over it's normal April rainfall, with at least two more inches due by Wednesday.

When Mom exited the house to go to the grocery store to collect a few items for Easter Dinner, she was greeted by a Standard American Brown MUD Dog.

Paying absolutely no heed to my condition, Dad let me in the house while Mom was gone, where I proceeded to clean myself off, on Mom's favorite chair.

I am not sure who is in the Dog House, but I am thinking that some Easter traditions are continuing.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Troop Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719701</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 23 Apr 2011 09:24:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719701</guid>
		<description>I did not realize that the Dog Care Merit Badge meant that I, Pennie, was also going to have to work ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I did not realize that the Dog Care Merit Badge meant that I, Pennie, was also going to have to work!  It was so exciting!  The Boy Scout Troop Trailer was backed into the driveway, right up to the Second Garage aka Dad's Workshop.  Soon a gang of Scouts arrived.  I am afraid of Mom's hairdryer, but a circular saw?  electric drills?  hammers?

I was right out there in the thick of the action, supervising the installation of shelving inside the Troop Trailer.  I even got saw dust in my fur!

I have a new title, not just Troop Dog, but:  Scoutmaster Pennie.

I am certain that I shall have to get MY own Merit Badge for all the work that I have done.  I should get my own badge, regardless, for suffering through Middle Lad's attempts at earning his Dog Care Merit Badge.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Used and probably abused,  in Suburbia</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719364</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 20 Apr 2011 11:35:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719364</guid>
		<description>I am being used.  Sophie, too, as if Queen Sophine would even notice.

Middle Lad has decided to a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am being used.  Sophie, too, as if Queen Sophine would even notice.

Middle Lad has decided to attempt to earn his Dog Care Badge for Boy Scouts.  He will complete the badge at summer camp, but one part must be done at home:  take care of the family dog(s) for 2 months, and keep a log about it.

I shall at least be fed my morning kibbles, Monday thru Friday, until school lets out, as Mom told Middle Lad that she doesn't want to feed us until later in the morning than when Middle Lad has to get up for school.  If I assume that Middle Lad pays as much attention to my kibble rationing as he does his homework, then I shall be a Standard American Brown Mouse by the end of two months.

Meanwhile, I have a Grievance to file with the Boy Scouts of America.

The "Dog Care" Merit Badge is not an Eagle Required Badge.

Eagle Required badges are "special badges;" badges that must be completed in order to achieve that highest of Boy Scout honors:  the Eagle Rank.  (Trust me, Boy Scouts camp a lot, and by the time they achieve any Rank at all their smell is deliciously Rank!)

Dog Care should no doubt be an Eagle Badge.  If a Boy Scout is Dog Allergic, then he is either too much of a pansy to be a Scout, or the parents should invest in a robotic dog to complete the requirements.

If this is my last Diary Entry, my friends will know that I succumbed to poor Boy Scout technique combined with ADD.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ornery Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719253</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 19 Apr 2011 13:34:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/719253</guid>
		<description>I have been feeling ornery.  Grumpy even.

Dad went away for the weekend with Middle Lad, Little L ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been feeling ornery.  Grumpy even.

Dad went away for the weekend with Middle Lad, Little Lad, and the Wee Lass, leaving Me, Sophie and Mom to enjoy the quiet and serenity for a few hours.  We only had one night to ourselves on the Concrete Queen, but as soon as we all finished watching two movies in a row and went on up to bed, I planted my self plop up against Dad's pillows.

Dad thinks I have been grumpy because He brought THEM all home, breaking the peacefulness and the undivided Mom attention.

Last night it stormed all night long.  Sophie and I planted ourselves firmly betwixt Mom and Dad.  Dad tried to get us to "go to our spots," but there was no way I was moving!  With the whole house shaking I was staying safely in the middle of the bed.  The Weather Alert Radio went off an untold number of times during the night sounding it's NOAA Weather Alerts in it's ultimately annoying NOAA Weather Alert Voice.

This morning it was raining as if the clouds were simply pouring giant buckets of water directly from the sky.  The creek just near us flooded over the road and the Sheriff came and blocked off the road.  This certainly does not bode well for flood-prone low lying areas as Suburbia is located at about the highest elevation of this part of Cincinnati.

All the thunder and rain has left me petulant and sleepy.  I have snapped at Sophie several times just for her mere existence.

Even more Severe Storms are scheduled for tonight, so i am not predicting an early easing of my orneriness.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Gated Community Living</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718907</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 16 Apr 2011 09:23:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718907</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, live in a Gated Community.  When I first arrived, my Community was Un-Gated.  Mulligan an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, live in a Gated Community.  When I first arrived, my Community was Un-Gated.  Mulligan and I were free to roam at will.  Wee Lass then arrived and changed all that.  Let me make it clear that it was Wee Lass that needed to be Gated, not ME, nor Mulligan.

The gate between the Boy's Office and the Kitchen gave way in a sudden fit one night.  It was a Tall Gate.  Mom could just barely cross over it.  Middle Lad could cross over it, barely.  It "may or may not be true" that the gate had been weakened by Mulligan and/or Me, Pennie pawing at it's basic structure.  Regardless, one evening, Middle Lad hoisted his height-challenged legs over the gate and CRASH, the gate gave way.  

A NEW gate was procured for the Kitchen/Boy's Office doorway.  This time it was the GATE that was height challenged.

Lo and behold in several weeks a box arrived from that Internet mecca of sundry items:  amazon.com.  It contained yet another new gate.  This super long gate allowed the main access to the Boy's Office to be blocked.  The "theory" being that as Wee Lass is getting older she could have more access to the house, but the wondrous items of the Boy's Office must remain off limits. (It is one thing to say "my dog ate my homework," but quite another to say "my sister ate my homework.")

The new long gate is also height-challenged.

I, Pennie, could easily scale either gate to the Boy's Office.  However, I am a Law Abiding Citizen!  Yes, I want to go into the Boy's Office, but I am a Good Girl!

Sophie?  Sophie just leaps right over those gates!  She pays no mind to the rules of Society; a gate has meaning!

Sophie not only leaps over the gate, but then she lays IN the Bay Window of the Boy's Office.  Dad is NOT happy.  Dad spent hours and hours sanding down and refinishing the woodwork of the Bay Window.  The Bay Window produces the Most Delicious Sun Spots, but again, as a Law Abiding Citizen, I enjoy those spots on the floor!

What is the point of Gated Community Living if the Gates are to be casually flaunted?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Yet another Rental Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718766</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 15 Apr 2011 07:13:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718766</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad has a new Rental Dog!  We will meet her today or tomorrow when he brings her over for a B ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad has a new Rental Dog!  We will meet her today or tomorrow when he brings her over for a B-A-T-H.

Camille can be viewed at:

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18757533

I do hope she has no characteristics of Hurricane Camille!  Camille is one of Lil Dud, I mean Lil Dude's sisters.  Lil Dude has gone to his furever home, and from latest report is adjusting nicely.  He has a large dog already in his new home to use as the target of his over-abundant energy.

This could be one of the last Rental Dogs as next year Oldest Lad shall be forced into Apartment Living as the Internship/Job Co-op Schedule of the University has forced the Housemates at The Structure to disband after this school year ends.  Three of them have agreed to lease an apartment.  The apartment does accept dogs, but requires a monthly Dog Fee.  Daisy, who belongs to one of the housemates, WILL be sharing the apartment, but the monthly fee will probably mean that Oldest Lad will not Rent dogs next year.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Suburbia Open for Business!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718134</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 9 Apr 2011 14:05:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/718134</guid>
		<description>I have grown quite bored all week listening to all the Pundits and Politicos pointing fingers and th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have grown quite bored all week listening to all the Pundits and Politicos pointing fingers and threatening to shut down the government.

That got me to thinking:  What if us dogs shut down?

Who would bark at strangers at the door?

Who would make sure the family remained on schedule?

Who would naturally, organically (or sometimes inorganically depending of what I have gotten into) fertilize the Fertile Crescent, that is the Back Yard?

How would Mom survive if Me or Sophie shut down?

To my knowledge, Mom has only suffered through Two brief Dog Shut Downs, since Mom adopted her first dog Samson.  After Samson died in 1999, Mom did not adopt another dog for 8 MONTHS!  During those 8 MONTHS, Little Lad was conceived (which undoubtedly would not have happened if a dog had been properly monitoring the situation,) Mom had surgery, Dad injured his back and had surgery and physical therapy, and MICE invaded the HOME!

Thankfully Tyler came onto the scene and restored Dogfulness and Suburbia to it's rightful order.

After Tyler died, there was a brief six week period again of Dog Shut Down.  It seems that Dog Shut Down was short enough that no long-term ill effects were felt by the family.

Mulligan was then adopted, followed by ME, Pennie.  Mulligan has passed, but I go on, and Sophie has joined the family.

Obviously us dogs are doing our job to keep the Family Going!  A dog would think the government might take itself as seriously.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Scary Afternoon!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716977</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 30 Mar 2011 15:40:11 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716977</guid>
		<description>This afternoon Oldest Lad stopped by with his Temporary Rental Dog, Caro.  He only has Caro for a fe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This afternoon Oldest Lad stopped by with his Temporary Rental Dog, Caro.  He only has Caro for a few days, as she is due to be adopted at the end of the week.  While Oldest Lad was visiting, he received a call that he needed to bring Caro back sooner than planned as her Spay Surgery had been changed to Thursday.

Oldest Lad decided to take Me and Sophie along for the ride.

It all seemed like fun, at first.

Then we got to the Shelter.  I realized where we were:  The Shelter!  At first, I tried to get out of the car.  I thought I would just run away!  There was no way I was going back to the Shelter!

After Oldest Lad trapped me and Sophie back in the car, I changed to Plan B:  I locked the Car Doors, with the Keys in the Ignition.  Darn my lack of opposable thumbs!  I was unable to start the car and drive away, but at least there was no way Oldest Lad was able to get me out of that car and sign me over to the Shelter!

Oldest Lad had to call the Police, who came and used a Slim Jim (unfortunately the metal bar type slim jim as opposed to the Sausage type Slim Jim) to open up the locks.

Oldest Lad was very angry at me, but Sophie and I ended up at HOME, in Suburbia, not abandoned at the Shelter.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Queens stink too.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716796</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 29 Mar 2011 08:20:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716796</guid>
		<description>Pawsonally, I do not complain about odors.  The subtleties and depth of flavor and essence of odors  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pawsonally, I do not complain about odors.  The subtleties and depth of flavor and essence of odors are simply lost on the humans.  Ah, the wonders of a pile of dirty clothes!  The aromatherapy of a Lad fresh from 8 hours of August Marching Band Practice.  The sharp tang of chlorine and sweat from a family fresh home from the YMCA.

And I am not even getting into the subtleties of the odors from daily household living, such as the potty!

Still, it seems that my family, in particular Mom, does NOT appreciate certain DOG odors.  Surprisingly, Mom does not mind my Dog Breath.  Okay, she did complain a bit yesterday when she returned to the car after running a few errands that the car did smell a bit like Concentrated Dog Breath.

Mom used to complain that Mulligan got sweaty arm pits.  Actually sweaty leg pits would be more accurate.

I, Pennie, get Frito Feet.

Mom used to attack Mulligan's leg pits (and his groin) with baby wipes.

Mom wipes my feet with baby wipes between baths.

It seems that Queen Sophine herself is not immune! Hah, Her Majesty Queen Sophine gets Odorific!  Queen Sophine prances around this house as if she deserves to wear a crown and carry a scepter, but when it comes to offending Mom's sense of orderly odorness, the Queen is no better than common Mulligan was, nor Me, Pennie!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Lil Dude Adopted</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716544</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 27 Mar 2011 13:58:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716544</guid>
		<description>Lil Dude was adopted today!  Oldest Lad was sad to see him go, but happy that he has a home.  Oldest ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Lil Dude was adopted today!  Oldest Lad was sad to see him go, but happy that he has a home.  Oldest Lad is a bit worried that Lil Dude may get returned as there is another dog in his new home.  Lil Dude and the dog got along at their initial meeting, but there is always the home turf settling in to overcome.  In the meantime, perhaps I can get some rest!  Sophie and I play, but Lil Dude was exhausting!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Honor Bestowed, then Spurned!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716138</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 Mar 2011 09:35:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/716138</guid>
		<description>I have had a tumultuous relationship with Other Woman, Oldest Lad's female friend.  Of late she and  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have had a tumultuous relationship with Other Woman, Oldest Lad's female friend.  Of late she and I have come to terms with each other.  In fact, the traipsing of Rental Dogs through Oldest Lad's life has forced Other Woman to realize the fine qualities of an Adult Dog.  Other Woman adored Rent to Own Sophie.  Other Woman liked Rental Dogs, then Furever Homed Dogs Yoko and  Jori.  Other Woman is infatuated with Lil Dud.  However, Yoko, Jori, and Lil Dud are all Puppies.  Lil Dud is the puppiest of all three puppies.  Despite their endearing cuteness, Other Woman, or so I thought, was realizing that compared to Puppy Behavior, I am a Model Citizen.

Anyhoodles, last night Oldest Lad and Other Woman were laying on the couch. Queen Sophine was taking up a Full Third of the Couch!  The Couch is a Three Cushion Couch and Queen Sophie with her slight 32 pounds was taking up an entire Couch Cushion!  That left only 2/3, or 2 Couch Cushions, for Oldest Lad, Other Woman, and Me, Pennie, to nap upon.

I managed to wedge myself perfectly perfectly upon Other Woman, with my magnificent bottom planted against her neck and my head upon her hips.  I was comfortable.

Other Woman was aghast!

Other Woman did not want "Pennie bottom in her face."

Here I was bestowing such an Honor upon Other Woman, and I was repaid only with ugliness!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Petfinder's Adopt the Internet Day:  Adopt Lil Dud, I mean Lil Dude!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714976</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Mar 2011 13:10:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714976</guid>
		<description>Somebody MUST adopt Lil Dude.  I admittedly do enjoy when Lil Dud visits.  We play.  We play.  Then  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Somebody MUST adopt Lil Dude.  I admittedly do enjoy when Lil Dud visits.  We play.  We play.  Then I get tired and I want to take a nap.  Or spend time with Oldest Lad.  Lil Dud, I mean Lil Dude, still wants to PLAY.  He is quite a character, has an endearing voice, and is partially house trained.

This is what Lil Dud did the last time he was over:  I was DONE playing.  I was curled up in a comfortable Pennie Ball on the couch.  Lil Dud was NOT done playing.  He strutted over and put his long snout (yes, long snouts ARE most attractive), yes he put his long snout right into my face, against MY long snout.

I smiled.  I smiled a WARNING SMILE.  I growled a bit.  While my teeth were bared, in the full "smile" position, Lil Dud LICKED MY TEETH.

Please, please find a home for Lil Dud.

http://www.petfinder.com/petdetail/18732621]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Acid Rain!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714294</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:18:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714294</guid>
		<description>It has been raining in the Tristate for days, it seems.  I hate rain.  I do NOT like to go outside a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It has been raining in the Tristate for days, it seems.  I hate rain.  I do NOT like to go outside and potty in the rain.

This is what I have learned.

Dogsters, I, Scientist Pennie am right to Fear Rain!  Yes, Rain is Acid Rain!  The Carbon Dioxide in the air naturally dissolves into the water drops, making rain slightly acidic.

My suspicions have been correct all along!  I should NOT be going out in the rain!  Every time I go out in the rain, the Acid Rain is no doubt dissolving a little bit of Pennie away.  Considering the vast amount of rain in Suburbia in the last days, who know how much of Pennie has disappeared, lost into the ground water, out into the water shed, never to be seen again!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cone OFF, for better or worse</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714182</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 9 Mar 2011 08:09:52 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/714182</guid>
		<description>Mom finally agreed to remove the Cone of Shame.  After Friday's vet visit, my tail was declared &quot;on  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom finally agreed to remove the Cone of Shame.  After Friday's vet visit, my tail was declared "on the mend" but still tenuous.  The Vet recommended that I continue to wear the Cone of Shame to prevent me from licking or scratching my Scab.

Scabby Pennie.  Yet another job!  One would think that being Scabby Pennie would require no effort; after all it's just my red and white blood cells working away at their magic while I go about my normal life.  Right?

Wrong!  Scabby Pennie meant wearing the Cone of Shame to prevent me from becoming Un-Scabby Pennie.

Sure, I know that the Scab is a good thing.  Yes, I know that my tail is a good thing and I want to keep it.  But I HATE HATE HATE the Cone of Shame!

Mom finally removed the Cone after discovering that I had pooped twice in Wee Lass' room and Mom was on her way out the door for a meeting.  Mom said that if my tail was that important to me then I was just going to have to be Scabby Pennie on my own, and stop grumping and groaning around the house, leaving Mom presents to further display my irritation.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What is Mom hiding?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713987</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 7 Mar 2011 12:20:55 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713987</guid>
		<description>Mom went to the doctor today and returned home with an antibiotic.  Mom &quot;claims&quot; that she has a sinu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom went to the doctor today and returned home with an antibiotic.  Mom "claims" that she has a sinus infection.  Indeed she has been acting ill for some two and a half weeks, and even lost her voice for several days, leaving me as Nannie Pennie to have to yell at the Lads to do their homework.

As Nurse Pennie, I read the label on the prescription bottle and immediately realized that Mom is taking the same antibiotic as ME, Pennie!

Only I am taking the antibiotic for my TAIL!

WHAT is Mom Hiding?  Does Mom really have a problem with her tail?  Should MOM be wearing a Cone of Shame to keep her from chewing and licking her tail?  Mom won't let me get anywhere near her tail end, which is making me all the more suspicious.

If Mom is have a Tail problem, I would even graciously offer to chew or lick her tail for her, since Mom is not nearly as flexible, in her old age, as Me, Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Diary Pick Betrayal</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713872</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 6 Mar 2011 10:18:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713872</guid>
		<description>I have been rather down in the dumps of late due to the my tenuous tail status AND having to wear th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been rather down in the dumps of late due to the my tenuous tail status AND having to wear the Cone of Shame.  I have to tried to work it for all that it's worth -- insisting on being hand fed, taking up most of the bed and then refusing to move, and adding a few random groans here and there just to remind everyone of my suffering.

Yesterday the Tristate received over 1.5 inches of rain!  The back yard has become a Swamp of Suburbia!  AND the echo of those rain drops in my cone is deafening!  I'd like to strap a Cone of Shame around Mom's head some day when she has a migraine, and stick her out in the rain to go potty!

Plus, even with all the drainage that Dad has added to the yard over the years, the ground simply cannot absorb so much water.  I am certain that the American Alligator and other Swamp Critters will soon be moving from Florida to Cincinnati Suburbia.

But today, I WAS rather cheered by being a Diary Pick of the Day.

Then Mom came home from church.  And guess what?  Mom was whoring around with Other Dogs AT CHURCH!

Mom should come home from Church smelling Pious!  Not stinking of Other Dogs!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Tail Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713671</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 Mar 2011 14:29:13 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/713671</guid>
		<description>I visited the Vet today and my bandage was removed.  The wound has begun to heal and has a nice scab ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I visited the Vet today and my bandage was removed.  The wound has begun to heal and has a nice scab.  Is that something to be proud of?  A nice scab?

Anyhoodles, I am to wear the Cone of Shame for a few more days and hope that the wound continues to heal and does not re-open.

If the wound re-opens, then my tail is a goner for sure.

How can I help it if I am a vigorous wagger?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Is my Tail at the Tail End?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712798</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 Feb 2011 15:32:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712798</guid>
		<description>I went to the vet today.  I am now forced to wear the cone of shame.  Between my microchip and my sa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I went to the vet today.  I am now forced to wear the cone of shame.  Between my microchip and my satellite dish, I am picking up disturbing images and random bits and bytes from all over the world.  I hope I do not start speaking binary code.

My poor tail is a sad tale.

The Vet shaved the hair off the end of my tail and pronounced it infected and "50/50" that it could be saved.  That means 50/50 it's a LOSS!

I received a shot of antibiotics in the bum, and a wrapping of my tail, followed by the forced entrapment of my head in the CONE!

I am to take one week of antibiotics, then go back next Friday, March 4th.

March Fourth.

Shall I March Forth With or March Fourth Without My Tail?

Oh, fellow Dogsters, what shall I do without my tail?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dog Addict</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712506</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:45:07 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712506</guid>
		<description>I believe that Oldest Lad is a Dog Addict.  I don't think he a Hoarder.  Thus far I have not caught  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I believe that Oldest Lad is a Dog Addict.  I don't think he a Hoarder.  Thus far I have not caught him collecting any dogs . . . . Unless one counts all the loose dogs of Suburbia that are quickly "homed."  Hmm.  Is this the beginning of hoarding?

Jori, Oldest Lad's most recent Rental Dog, was returned to the Shelter and Adopted on Sunday!  I enjoyed Jori's visits and playing rough with Jori, and he enjoyed playing with an Alpha Girrly.  Sophie is happy to be through with the beast.  Her iron underwear had not arrived yet from Amazon.com.  Sophie considered canceling her order, but with a NEW Rental Dog due soon, she decided to keep the order, in case the new Rental Dog is as intent on Sophie Domination as Jori was.  I suppose I could teach Sophie a few tricks of Dominance Avoidance, but I won't:  I, Pennie am the Alpha Girrl.

Anyhoodles, Oldest Lad only survived ONE night with a Dog!  After Jori left, Oldest Lad was primary caretaker for Daisy, the other dog that lives at The Structure, while Daisy's Man was away for the weekend.  Daisy's Man came home, and Oldest Lad was rendered Dogless.

Oldest Lad stopped off at home and picked me up!  I shall be spending several days at University, living at The Structure.  

Obviously, Oldest Lad cannot survive without a DOG!  Certainly I am happy to fulfill his addiction, but when do I say "NO?"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Holey Tail!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712273</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Feb 2011 14:45:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/712273</guid>
		<description>Some weeks ago, (two weeks ago) Mom and Dad and the family went out.  When they returned, a bag of D ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Some weeks ago, (two weeks ago) Mom and Dad and the family went out.  When they returned, a bag of Double Stuf Oreos had been eaten.  A tube of Aquaphor lotion had been chewed.  And I had a small hole in my tail.

Despite her expert torture techniques, Mom was not able to elicit a confession from either Sophie or Me, Pennie, about what happened at the house that evening.  My lips may be loose, but I remained silent on the details.

My tail developed a scab.  No more thought was given to it.

Until Friday.  Then it started to bleed again!

All Mom knows is this:  She left the house at 6:06 pm.  

She went to "Once Upon A Child," to buy a used suit coat for Little Lad.  Mom procured one used suit coat.  Little Lad must do a project AND dress up as a famous Ohioan.  He is going to be James Thurber, who was born in Columbus, Ohio.  James Thurber also LOVED Dogs.  Mom then went to Walgreens to pick up Amoxicillin for Wee Lass, who was sick all week, and now had an ear infection.

Mom returned home by 6:43 pm.

When Mom left, my tail was intact.  When Mom returned, it was bleeding!

I have been licking my tail on and off since Friday night.

What shall I do without my lovely tail?  It is wounded in the white fur at the very end.  I was NOT amused when Oldest Lad suggest that if my tail must be cropped, that he would DYE the now only brown end, white.

I have been acting as pathetic as possible to elicit as much attention from Mom as I can.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dogs against Math Facts</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/711282</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Feb 2011 14:20:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/711282</guid>
		<description>In another one of those &quot;I am not admitting to anything days,&quot; ALL that I, Pennie will acknowledge i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In another one of those "I am not admitting to anything days," ALL that I, Pennie will acknowledge is that yes, indeed, somehow the Math Multiplication Facts Computer did get Peed On.

Oh, and Daisy pooped in Wee Lass' room.

This afternoon, Oldest Lad stopped by with Daisy and Jori for a Dog Wash.  I was NOT asked.  Certainly I did not mind seeing Jori naked, looking pathetic behind the glass shower door, but I knew what was coming.  Yeah.  It doesn't take a Math Wizard to figure out that if Two Dogs are being Washed, then odds are pretty strong it will turn to FOUR.

Sure enough, after Jori was washed, and then Daisy, Oldest Lad turned his Washing Wrath upon ME, Pennie.  I was washed.  Sophie was washed.

The bathroom was NOT washed.  Apparently Mom was expected to volunteer to wash the bathroom and the umpteen towels used in washing FOUR dogs.

At some point, Daisy stopped in to Wee Lass' room and left a "present."  It was scooped up.

Meanwhile, No Dog has fessed up to peeing on the Math Multiplication Facts Computer.  It is a plastic toy with buttons displaying multiplication facts.  Upon pushing a button, the correct answer appears.

Pawsonally, I am certain it was JORI, as he is the youngest, and therefore most likely to NOT know his Multiplication facts.  This would obviously lead him to be extremely frustrated, and he probably peed on the toy due to getting so many wrong answers.

That is my story and I am sticking to it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Potty Talk.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710647</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 8 Feb 2011 15:18:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710647</guid>
		<description>Mom was whining this morning (as usual) that I had to &quot;search&quot; for the proper place to urinate and d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom was whining this morning (as usual) that I had to "search" for the proper place to urinate and defecate.  It was very cold outside, and Mom was not enjoying standing out in the cold.  At least she was not Squatting in the cold!

Why do Pawrents complain that us dogs are so selective in where we place our Bodily Products?  I do not criticize Mom over where Mom places her Bodily Products.  In fact, I would claim that MOM is far, far, more selective than I am about where she goes Potty.

There are four toilets in my home.  The Storm Toilet in the basement, which is primarily used by Dad.  The toilet is actually BLACK.  Must have been a late 60s thing; a black toilet.  On the main floor is a toilet and sink.  This is the "most-used" toilet.  Upstairs are two more toilets:  one in Mom and Dad's bathroom and one in the hallway bathroom.  Mom "prefers" to use the toilet in her and Dad's bathroom.  She rarely, rarely uses the Storm Toilet, unless she has just scrubbed it with Comet.

When traveling, I know that that the subject of "restroom cleanliness" is often discussed after a Potty Stop.  Mom claims she would rather "use a tree" than some of the restrooms she has been in.

Therefore, I avow that this talk of Pennie Potty Selectivity Must Stop!  This has been a very cold winter, and I am constantly forced to step across crunchy snow, go out in sleet, and brave icy winds, just to squat mere centimeters from the ice cold ground.  Yet Mom is far more selective in where she puts HER Fanny, not Me, Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Still Dominant!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710444</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 7 Feb 2011 08:20:55 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710444</guid>
		<description>Yesterday, I proved that I, Pennie am still the Dominant Dog!

Dad took Me, Sophie, Wee Lass, and  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday, I proved that I, Pennie am still the Dominant Dog!

Dad took Me, Sophie, Wee Lass, and Little Lad for a walk in the 'hood.  We were soon distracted by a neighbor.

My pawrents have been seriously lacking in allowing me to get together with my friend Calbert!  The last I played with him was at Howloween.  Calbert is BIG!  When I met Calbert, back in May, he was a little fluff ball, less than one third my size.  Now he is 10 months old, and an over-grown 80 pound BRUTE!

Back in May I showed Calbert who was in charge.  That would be ME, Pennie.  Despite his massive (and impressive) increase in mass, I rapidly reminded Calbert of who is in charge:  That would be ME, Pennie.

Calbert and I wore each other out, playing and running.

Pathetic Queen Sophine huddled in the corner, once Calbert tried to show his dominance over her.

I may not be a "Big" Dog, but if I can show a mice or mole who is boss (yum!) then no over-grown hairy brute is going to dominate me!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cookie Chaos</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710128</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 Feb 2011 19:51:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/710128</guid>
		<description>These are the facts:  Mom and Dad took the family out to dinner.  Pennie was not invited.  Sophie wa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ These are the facts:  Mom and Dad took the family out to dinner.  Pennie was not invited.  Sophie was not invited.  Middle Lad was allowed to invited TWO, yes, TWO friends. Large friends (they come from large parents, so while they are "fit," I must point out that undoubtedly these Large Friends had Large Appetites, adding to a Large Dinner Bill.

Sophie and I were left home, alone, with NO Kibbles.

Some family member left out on the kitchen counter:  One package of Nabisco Double Stuff Oreo Cookies.

When Mom and Dad and the Family and the Large Friends returned home, there was an empty AND destroyed package of Nabisco Double Stuff Oreo (no longer cookies) on the rug.

There was also one slight chewed tube of Aquaphor Hand Lotion; it appeared to be non-eaten, just slightly chewed.

I, Pennie, had a hole in my tail!  Yes, the very end of my tail was bloody, and bore a distinct puncture mark.

I really don't care to elaborate on what may have happened to the Double Stuff Oreos, the Aquaphor, OR My Tail.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Wind!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/709742</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Feb 2011 08:54:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/709742</guid>
		<description>This weather has been crazy!  Yesterday there was freezing rain, rain, and then freezing rain again. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This weather has been crazy!  Yesterday there was freezing rain, rain, and then freezing rain again.

Mom FORCED me to go outside to go potty.  Someday I'm gonna force that woman to go outside in freezing rain and drop her drawers to go potty . . . .

Anyhoodles, last night there was wind and rain, with wind gusts up to 50, even 60 miles per hour!

I slept ON TOP of Mom all night.

Mom had the audacity to complain! "She" claims that the wind and rain was bothering me and I was nervous.

Me?  Hunter of squirrels, moles, and lawn mice, scared?

NOPE.

I was making sure Mom didn't blow away.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Compressing Migraine</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/709613</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Feb 2011 12:41:38 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/709613</guid>
		<description>Mom had a serious run of migraine these past several days.  Mom also has fibromyalgia, which goes al ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom had a serious run of migraine these past several days.  Mom also has fibromyalgia, which goes along with the migraine headaches, and sometimes Mom just gets Knocked DOWN!  Of course, in a home full of insensitive males, and one ego-centric Wee Lass, it is not likely that Mom was going to get much sympathy, so it was up to Me, Nurse Pennie, to attempt to help Mom out.

When Mom could "take it no more" and relegated herself to the Recliner Chair, I, Nurse Pennie, quickly jumped upon Mom for Compression Therapy.

When Mom sits in the Recliner, Mom scoots her wide butt over to the right, and then I, Nurse Pennie, wedge my Skinny Butt over into the remaining space on the left.  Then I can lay the rest of me over onto Mom's lap and Compress her, plus be nicely supported by Mom's butt on one side and the arm rest on the other side.

Except along came Queen Sophine, who decided she must Compress Mom as well.  Queen Sophine jumped right up on top of ME AND MOM.

The point is Compression NOT Suffocation.

Queen Sophine and I exchanged Growls.

Mom claimed that we were not helping her, but she is more or less back to normal, now, so it is apparent that MY Healing Methods helped.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>There's Something Out There!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/708035</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 20 Jan 2011 07:11:28 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/708035</guid>
		<description>I take my role as Huntress Pennie very seriously. I am an Alpha Female, a dog able to care for herse ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I take my role as Huntress Pennie very seriously. I am an Alpha Female, a dog able to care for herself.  I am quite certain that I could survive on my own, if need be, and I am proud of that.  Oh, sure, I love my twice daily Kibble Ration, but unlike Sophie, I am quite willing to Supplement my Diet from the Backyard Wilds.  Soon after my arrival at my home in Suburbia, Mom realized that those ankle-wrenching Mole Tunnels were disappearing from the lawn.  Indeed, (squeamish don't read this) in my stool samples at the Annual Vet Visit, there is often "evidence," that I have been consuming Suburban Wildlife.

Imagine my horror to discover that just out of reach due to Invisible Fence, in my own 0.46 acres of Suburbia, there are large dirt pile-evidence of animal invasion!  Yes, those nasty critters are smart enough to build just OUTSIDE my e-fence perimeter!  There is one large mound -- at least 18 inches in diameter, and one foot high, plus several smaller mounds!  Probably not even moles, but some other creature!

I may have to attempt to break out of my Invisible Fence.  I have done this before and if it means defending my 0.46 acres of Suburbia AND a Tasty SNACK -- I'll risk that ZAP!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hunka Hunka Rental Dog!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707941</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 19 Jan 2011 10:36:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707941</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad is about to get a new Rental Dog:  a MALE Standard Poodle.  Wowza!

Jori is (sadly) goi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad is about to get a new Rental Dog:  a MALE Standard Poodle.  Wowza!

Jori is (sadly) going to have his er, maleness removed, and then should be ready for Oldest Lad to acquire over the weekend.

Yes, Yes, I was the one upset about the last Rental dog, Rent-to-Own Sophie, but Jori?  No worries!  Not only does he look like a hunk, but he is destined to be geared toward the Canine Assistant Program -- all fun and no threat for Pennie!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Diary Pick (Again!)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707806</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 18 Jan 2011 11:30:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707806</guid>
		<description>Quite deservedly, I am once again a Dogster diary pick on the Diary Page.  Really, I do deserve some ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Quite deservedly, I am once again a Dogster diary pick on the Diary Page.  Really, I do deserve some acknowledgement for all that I do, don't I?  For Dog's sake it's not like anyone else is keeping this household running.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Appearing on THE Diary Entry Page</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707486</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 16 Jan 2011 06:10:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707486</guid>
		<description>Today, I have been duly informed that I am a Featured Diary Pick on the Diary Picks of the Day Page. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today, I have been duly informed that I am a Featured Diary Pick on the Diary Picks of the Day Page.

As one would note from my new attire, this does fit my Princess Status.

My dear friend Jarvis, and many other dogs, have asked that a message be barked to Dogster:

"I think dogster should send email messages to all our Dogster pals when a new family member is added to a dogster account so your friends can quickly be friends with the new member.

If you agree please copy and paste this to your Diary page."

Despite the fact that I do NOT particularly want all my Pals to befriend my new sister, Sophie, i do not feel that my bearing as a "Princess" raises me above barking this request to Dogster as well.

In fact, if one is to head over to Sophie's page, one can easily determine that SHE is not even a true Princess.  Look how regal the royal crown looks upon my head.  Sophie simply looks disgruntled and ready to declare war or send her closest minion off for a beheading.

It is ME, Pennie, that is the TRUE Princess of the Family.  Befriend Sophie as one wishes, but it don't come barking to me for intervention if she attempts a coup.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Why should I?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707282</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 14 Jan 2011 13:26:45 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707282</guid>
		<description>My friend Jarvis has made the following suggestions:

&quot;I think dogster should send email messages  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My friend Jarvis has made the following suggestions:

"I think dogster should send email messages to all our Dogster pals when a new family member is added to a dogster account so your friends can quickly be friends with the new member.

If you agree please copy and paste this to your Diary page."

Well, why should I post this?  Why do I want my new sister Sophie, added right before Thanksgiving, to get Pup Pals?

Sure, I'd like to be Pup Pals with New Siblings of MY Pals, but I see no reason why Sophie should have to get Pals.  She already steals attention away from me as it is.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>In a &quot;Mood.&quot;</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707205</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 13 Jan 2011 18:55:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/707205</guid>
		<description>Last night I was in a &quot;Mood.&quot;  First off, Sophie jumped onto the Concrete Queen and took MY Spot.  S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I was in a "Mood."  First off, Sophie jumped onto the Concrete Queen and took MY Spot.  She moved once I got up onto bed, but still . . . .

Anyhoodles, I just decided that I was going to take up the entire foot of the bed last night.  Both sides.  I left Dad about a foot to put his feet, over in the corner.  I left Mom no room.  Then she had Sophie in a ball right above me.  Mom ended up sleeping in a little ball, or curled up around Sophie.

Dad tried moving me severals times, as I was violating his inviolate Bed Rule:  No Dog Parts May Touch Dad at Night.

Didn't Matter.  I was in a "Mood," and I was NOT moving.  Dad gave up and snored off, semi-satisfied that he at least could lay full length with the corner I had left him.

Mom tried to get me to rearrange, into my usual position that accommodates Me, Her and Sophie all on one half of the Concrete Queen.  Mom even tried to make me get DOWN.

Nope.  I didn't care that Mom was all scrunched up and I paid no heed to her whining this morning of an aching back and sore joints.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Who knew Bedding was so complicated?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/706895</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Jan 2011 08:19:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/706895</guid>
		<description>I had no idea that Bedding was so complicated!  Of course, my diary readers do know of all the Bed P ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I had no idea that Bedding was so complicated!  Of course, my diary readers do know of all the Bed Problems that I pawsonally have -- Dad's selfishness with sharing the Concrete Queen continues, forcing Mom, Me, and Sophie to share just one half.  With all that turmoil I have never had time to consider the Bedding itself!

Apparently, there is actually "Bed Making Etiquette."  A "Correct Way" to make a bed.  Yep.  It's all in the Wall Street Journal Newspaper, in an article entitled "Down With Comforters."  If the WSJ, that bastion of conservative journalism deems "how to properly make a bed" as newsworthy, then by Dog it must be!  The article is in the Saturday/Sunday, January 8-9, 2011, Off Duty Section.  There is a black and white diagram depicting exactly how to make a Stylish Bed.

Here's the problem:  Where do the Dogs go?  Do the dogs get stacked neatly at the top with the pillows, flat like pancakes, or propped stylishly with the Pillow Shams?  And perish the thought, but are the Dogs supposed to be tucked in at the sides, with Hospital Corners?  Pawsonally, my body doesn't bend into Hospital Corners.

Can an Extra Dog be placed at the base of the bed, along with the neatly folded Soft Throw?  Or does the Extra Dog replace the Soft Throw all together?

I am thinking that perhaps I should just encourage Mom to just keep with the whole "keep the bedroom door closed at all times, and maybe no one will ever see it" theme.  This Bed Etiquette just sounds too complicated.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>&quot;Sophie Sophie Sophie&quot;</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/706092</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 4 Jan 2011 06:35:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/706092</guid>
		<description>Any dogs with cable TV and/or old parents may have seen episodes of &quot;The Brady Bunch.&quot;  Or perhaps h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Any dogs with cable TV and/or old parents may have seen episodes of "The Brady Bunch."  Or perhaps have at least heard their parents use the expression:  "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia."

Poor Jan Brady was always getting short changed to her older, gorgeous blond sister, Marcia, despite Jan being blond, beautiful, and intelligent herself.  No matter what Jan did it was always "all about Marcia."

Now, it is Me, Pennie, who is in the "Sophie, Sophie, Sophie" position.

Oh sure, Mom makes sure to pay equal attention to both of us, but guess who went out last night with Oldest Lad?  Sophie?

And to where?  Other Woman's Parent's house.

I have NEVER been to Other Woman's Parent's house.  In fact, Other Woman's Parent's, confirmed Feline Lovers are now considering getting a DOG -- all due to Sophie, of course.  Other Woman herself begged for a DOG her whole life, but the answer was alway "NO!" -- until "Sophie, Sophie Sophie" came along.  

Too bad Mom put her bid in on Sophie before Other Woman's Parent's came to this startling change of heart.

And to top it off --

Guess who came home last night stinking of Potato Chips hand fed from Other Woman's Parents, no less?

Sophie, Sophie, Sophie, of course.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The TSA (Transportation Safety Administration) MUST go Green -- with DOGS</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/704658</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Dec 2010 11:31:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/704658</guid>
		<description>The Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) has launched it's latest threat against the environme ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) has launched it's latest threat against the environment:  a warning against Insulated Beverage Containers.

Why is the TSA so anti-green? so Eco-unfriendly?

First the TSA insisted that all travelers put their shampoos, rinses, and gels in those little 3 ounce or 100 ml bottles, packed neatly in a quart size zip bag.  While certainly a boon to the shampoo industry, this is NOT good for the environment, as it forces the creation of even more plastic bottles!  and more plastic bags, as well.  And I do doubt that any of the Gulf Oil Spill was skimmed off, recovered, and recycled, and then reused as Gulf Oil Plastic Shampoo Bottles.

Now the TSA has issued an assault on Insulated Beverage Containers!  The Insulated Beverage Container that an Environmentally Conscientious, "Green" traveler might carry to put their hot beverage in (after they passed through Pat-Down of course, as one can not carry open liquids through security.)  Again, this will be a boon to the "plastic" and "paper" disposable cup industry, but is not environmentally friendly!

If the TSA is going to be so Anti-Green, the only way to recapture any stature is to use Dogs for Airport Screenings.

There are thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands of dogs in shelters who would love to go sniffing around people's arses and other private areas looking for bombs.  And how could anyone's wheel-chaired Grandma object when a cuddly Shih Tzu was placed in her lap, ostensible to say "hello," while it was meanwhile doing a thorough sniff -down?

As for those Insulated Beverage Containers, almost any dog could detect the difference between "plastique" and a "triple mocha latte with a splash of caramel."

Yes.  If the TSA is going to continue to be so Environmentally Unfriendly, then it is only fair that they begin to employ dogs.

And I wouldn't mind being one.  Just ask the last UPS man who dropped off a package at my door and left with a large wet nose print on the front of his pants.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Revolutionary!  No More B-A-T-H s!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/703535</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 16 Dec 2010 11:28:36 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/703535</guid>
		<description>Perhaps I did need a second dog around here to spur me on to higher thinking as it seems I have come ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Perhaps I did need a second dog around here to spur me on to higher thinking as it seems I have come up with amazing ideas since Sophie arrived.  Perhaps I was just still mourning the loss of Mulligan . . . .

This may be my most important discovery yet:

Dog Pals:  I don't need any more baths.

You won't either if you follow my revolutionary AND FREE plan!

It came to me as I was in the bathroom while Oldest Lad showered.

While a human showers, the bathroom becomes all steamy.  Moisture droplets in the air.  Moisture droplets on the mirror, the toilet, the floor.  I even lick the water droplets that condensate on the glass shower door.  That way I get a drink, plus can check on whomever is showering, to make sure they have not exited out some hidden tunnel.

But most importantly:

Moisture droplets on:  Pennie!

While I am in the room with a human who is showering I, Pennie am being:  Steam Cleaned!

I don't need any more baths, ever, as long as I get Steam Cleaned by being in the bathroom while one of my humans showers.  I can be Steam Cleaned multiple times a day!

And just look at me, I obviously have no wrinkles so the Steam Cleaning is working!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Bed Math</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/702409</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 7 Dec 2010 13:53:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/702409</guid>
		<description>Having Sophie here has reopened the perennial problem of sharing the Concrete Queen.  Little Miss. S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Having Sophie here has reopened the perennial problem of sharing the Concrete Queen.  Little Miss. Sophie thinks that just because she lived in The Structure with all those University Students for several weeks, that she is some sort of math genius.  Hmph.  Maybe I did not live at University, but I have tutored, snored, and prodded Oldest Lad through Math, agonized over Al Gebra with Middle Lad last year, and am ready to send Middle Lad hurtling off on a tangent over this year in Geometry.

Sophie thinks that since there are 4 bodies that want to sleep on the Concrete Queen, that she is entitled, yes "entitled," to 25%.  Of course, we all know that Dad insists on having a full 50% of the Concrete Queen, regardless of any other sleepers.

Sophie only weighs 33 pounds, for Dog sake, yet she still tries to take up 25% of the remaining 50%, leaving Mom and I with 12.5% each!

Mulligan out-weighed Sophie by 20 pounds, yet Mom, Mulligan, and I were able to bed-share our 50% compatibly!  Sophie can expect 16.66% of the bed, at most!  OR she can entwine herself with Mom, as Mulligan and I used to do, to maximize the space.  Obviously Sophie, despite her "University" training is not aware of Einstein's theories of space and relativity that must come into play to allow two dogs plus one Mom to share half a bed.

The obvious solution of course is to convince Dad to sleep out in his shop, with his alphabetically arranged tools, lined neatly up on their pegs on the peg boards.  I just don't see this happening soon, so Sophie is just going to have to throw out her "New Math," or "University Math" and be happy with "Bed Math."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Can't trust family.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/702021</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 4 Dec 2010 11:31:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/702021</guid>
		<description>After all that I have done this week in the interest of Science, Global Warming, and STILL maintaini ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ After all that I have done this week in the interest of Science, Global Warming, and STILL maintaining my regular Dogly duties . . . .

It was very hard work on my part to work out the Dog Thermal Unit.  This should more than prove my qualifications as a reputable Scientist.

Yet, every day I have gotten up with Middle Lad to nag, I mean encourage him, in his morning rituals.  Every day I have rearranged my schedule to drop him off or pick him up from Indoor Percussion, or piano lessons, or from Geometry Extra Help.

Yet today?

Oldest Lad is working on a Biology Poster.

I am shunned, yes SHUNNED from the other side of the house!  He doesn't want Pennie (or Sophie) paw prints or dog hair on his poster.

AND, this strikes right to my poor Pennie heart:  the poster is a detailed analysis of a cell and guess what kind of cell he picked?

A PLANT Cell.

For Dog's sake after all I have done for him, he could have the courtesy to at least analyze an ANIMAL Cell.

It is terrible how Females are treated -- giving the best of our lives to nurture and care for our charges, and they shun us to the Other Side of the House.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Scientist Pennie, DTU Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701633</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 1 Dec 2010 08:11:17 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701633</guid>
		<description>Now who is the slacker?  I have been wracking my brain over the whole DTU, Dog Thermal Unit, Energy  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Now who is the slacker?  I have been wracking my brain over the whole DTU, Dog Thermal Unit, Energy Savings/Cost Savings Plan for Homes.  I, Pennie, do have many strong points:  Nurse Pennie, Nannie Pennie, Personal Hygiene Inspector Pennie, Home-Land Security/TSA Pat-Down Pennie, to name a few.  Science is NOT my strong point.  That is OK.  As Mom always tells the Lads:  everyone can't be good at everything (except those few over-achieving Students who Mom swears have Mothers who have a washer/dryer and crock-pot in their Mini-Van, plus never sleep or get migraines.)

But I digress.

I was up all night working on the DTU.  A BTU, or British Thermal Unit is:  The quantity of heat required to raise the temperature of one pound of water from 60° to 61°F at a constant pressure of one atmosphere.  The BTU and it's American counterpart, the Therm, are used to justify the energy bill that arrives monthly, in the mail.

I think that a Dog Thermal Unit then must be the quantity of Dog Heat required to raise the temperature of the surrounding ambient temperature by one degree.

First off, this is FAIR.  Small dogs can give off lots of body heat OR they can maximize their body heat by insulation such as getting under the covers with their human(s.)  Larger dogs can give off ambient body heat OR if needed, get closer to their victim, I mean human, or get under the covers.

Second off, a family can add just one or multiple dogs depending on their individual need for DTUs.  Or if a family prefers small dogs, then they can adopt a whole lot of them to maximize the DTU Output.

Either way, it is obvious that the DTU is very important as part of an overall Energy Savings Plan to save money and to save the environment.

Incidentally, while the Climate Scientists are meeting in nice warm CANCUN, I was awakened to a freezing cold morning with snow flurries.  Perhaps I will be invited to the Climate Change Conference next year.

Meanwhile?  These past mornings, ever since Sophie has been here, I have been Rise and Shine Pennie, up with Middle Lad, ready to Nag, I mean encourage, him in his morning rituals.

Where was Sophie this morning?  Curled up in a Sophie Ball on Mom's Bed.  Sophie did not even get up TWO HOURS later when it was time to waken Little Lad.  Mom had to force her out of bed to go potty.

Scientist Pennie has been working non-stop AND giving off more than her share of DTUs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The DTU, Dog Thermal Unit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701505</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 30 Nov 2010 07:38:29 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701505</guid>
		<description>In a recent diary entry, my pal Maxwell talked about a mutually beneficial overnight he shared with  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In a recent diary entry, my pal Maxwell talked about a mutually beneficial overnight he shared with his Mom.  He enjoyed sharing her bed, while she enjoyed sharing his body heat.

This brings to mind to ME, Pennie, that as Winter fast approaches, the need to heat homes and those high energy bills is also fast approaching.

The measure for energy usage commonly used in the United Sates is the Therm.  It is actually based on the British Thermal Unit, the BTU.  One Therm is equal to 100,000 BTUs. 

The BTU is a basic measure of thermal (heat) energy.  The energy bill is based upon how many of those BTUs or Therms are used up.

Last night, I snuggled next to Mom on one side, and Sophie snuggled next to Mom on the other side.

I am not sure how many BTUs, or Therms, we were producing, but with Two Dog Thermal Units, Mom needed Zero Blankets, and indeed could have turned the thermostat down.

Turning the thermostat down turns into direct cost savings.  To the pawrents.

Dogsters, it obvious that we must do our part to Save Energy AND Save Money.  Jump in bed with your family members.

Start producing those DTUs, the Dog Thermal Units, today!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Interior Designer Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701224</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 27 Nov 2010 13:11:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/701224</guid>
		<description>How much is One Standard American Brown Dog expected to tolerate?

Would less be expected of me if ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ How much is One Standard American Brown Dog expected to tolerate?

Would less be expected of me if I were a Pedigreed Pooch?  Does my "mutt" status lead the family to believe that I am but a "Working Girl?"

This Thanksgiving Holiday I spent at home, while Mom, Dad, Middle Lad, Little Lad, and Wee Lass went off to visit Dad's family.

I stayed home with Oldest Lad, Rent-to-Own Sophie, now my Sister Sophie, and NEW Rental Dog, Yoko.

No turkey, stuffing, nary a pie crust, but I was expected to play "Mother" to Sophie and to Yoko.  In fact, Oldest Lad ended up sharing the Concrete Queen Bed with Me, Sophie and Yoko.

Besides being expected to be Guard Dog Pennie, Mother Pennie, and Bed-Sharing Pennie, I also found that Oldest Lad trapped, yes TRAPPED ME, in Mom and Dad's room while he went off to share a wonderful home-cooked meal with Other Woman's Family!

I decided to become Interior Designer Pennie.

When Mom and Dad remodeled the bathroom just a few months ago, repainted the bedroom, and put in new bedroom windows; Dad cheaped out at the end and decided to "keep" the old carpet until the next project, the upstairs hall, was to be started.

How Tacky.

Being trapped in Mom and Dad's Room AND being quite bored, I decided to be:  Creative.

That old yucky Carpet MUST GO.

And trust me.  The "remaining carpet" is now an URGENT project.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rent to Own PupDate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/700414</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Nov 2010 16:10:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/700414</guid>
		<description>Sophie is now here.  Microchipped and all.  I that since we are both &quot;chipped&quot; that or WiFi Hotspots ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sophie is now here.  Microchipped and all.  I that since we are both "chipped" that or WiFi Hotspots do not cause the Internet to go down.

Oldest Lad already had a new Rental Dog, Yoko.

I hope Rental Dog Sophie, I mean Sister Sophie, realizes how easily she can be replaced.

Yoko immediately got a BATH.  We all watched.  (Oldest Dog wore swim trunks.)  Poor Rental Dog Yoko; it was like she was the scene of a car accident and Sophie, ME, Wee Lass, and Mom were all Rubber-necking at the poor victim.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Job!  Pat-Down Pennie!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/700184</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 19 Nov 2010 16:19:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/700184</guid>
		<description>This week, a hot news topic in the print, Internet, radio, and on TV has been the newly instated TSA ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This week, a hot news topic in the print, Internet, radio, and on TV has been the newly instated TSA screening procedures.
Apparently, those humans who choose to travel by "Air," may choose to either subject themselves to a Radioactive, Body Revealing "Scan," or subject themselves to a "Pat-Down."

Now here's a job I want!

Pat-Down Pennie!

My family is seldom nude around me, anymore, quickly grabbing a towel, or pulling their undergarment up immediately upon finishing with the toilet.  This is due to the Invasive nature of my Piercing Pennie Nose.

I didn't get the nick-name "Personal Hygiene Princess" for nothing.

Frequent visitors to the house for some reason usually bend in such a way as to guard their crotch when I greet them at the door.  Any "new" visitor, who doesn't know any better, is left wondering: "Am I fresh?," despite my pawrents assurances that I greet all visitors with a full crotch probe.

I am obvious perfect for the TSA job of performing Pat-Downs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rent to Own</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699949</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 18 Nov 2010 08:38:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699949</guid>
		<description>Mom has submitted an application to Adopt Oldest Lad's Foster Dog, Sophie.

Will the application b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has submitted an application to Adopt Oldest Lad's Foster Dog, Sophie.

Will the application be approved?

Of course no one has thought that this will be a HUGE shift in the balance of power.

Dad.  Oldest Lad.  Middle Lad. Little Lad.  (But Oldest Lad is only here "part time" as he lives at The Structure, while he attends University.)

Mom.  Wee Lass.  Pennie.  Add in Sophie, and that shifts the Female/Male Ratio, doesn't it?

For years, Mom was the ONE Female.  Then I was added.  Then Wee Lass was added.  Will Females slowly infiltrate this male-dominated dominion?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Terror in my own home!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699842</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 17 Nov 2010 09:49:24 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699842</guid>
		<description>Little Lad has a project to make for school on the subject of Native Americans.  Now don't get me wr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Little Lad has a project to make for school on the subject of Native Americans.  Now don't get me wrong, I, Pennie, am not saying anything bad about Native Americans.

However.

Dad and Little Lad decided to create a Tomahawk.  When they brought the Tomahawk into the house to show Mom, Wee Lass grabbed the Tomahawk out of Dad's Hands and immediately ran to Me, Pennie, and attempted to Tomahawk Chop Me!

Thankfully a blunt wood blade can't scalp a Pennie!

Where did Wee Lass learn such a skill?  As far as I know, the Wee Lass has never seen a Tomahawk.

Dad and Little Lad returned to the shop and made a new Tomahawk with a Blade made from Craft Foam.

Mom was certain that if the Wee Lass could figure out how to Tomahawk chop me in just 5 seconds, that in a class of 25 Fourth Graders, sending in a Wood Blade Tomahawk was just not a good idea.

Meanwhile, I am sleeping with one eye open any time the Wee Lass is around.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mom was unfaithful</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699720</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 16 Nov 2010 13:25:38 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699720</guid>
		<description>Mom was completely and utterly unfaithful to me today.  First off, she went to visit my friend Dandy ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom was completely and utterly unfaithful to me today.  First off, she went to visit my friend Dandy!  Without me!  Dandy's Mom called Mom from across town, frantic.  Dandy's Mom had forgotten to take chicken out of the oven before heading off to a doctor's appointment.  Mom sneaked into Dandy's House, took the chicken out, and turned the oven off.  Without Me.  I did not get a chance to inspect either Dandy, or Dandy's house!

Then Mom took Wee Lass down to The Structure to pick up Oldest Lad, Other Woman, and Structure-Mate to take them to lunch.

After lunch, Mom stopped off at The Structure to play with Rental Dog Sophie AND with Structure Dog Daisy!  

Mom did "confess" to Dad that she was going to spend the afternoon whoring around, but ME?

I had to find out the old-fashioned way: Mom came home stinking of Other Dogs.

Mom did bribe me with a greasy bag of leftover "Five Guys" French Fries.  The Family can't go to Five Guys on account of Middle Lad's Peanut Allergy, but on their own, individual members sneak off to Five Guys for some Peanut Oil goodness as much as possible.

Turns out that Rental Dog Sophie is NOT allowed to have Human Food as part of the Foster Agreement.  (She's not supposed to sleep in bed with Oldest Lad either, but she climbs in bed anyway.)

I relished those Peanut Oil Goodness Five Guys Fries; but I am still feeling the smack of betrayal.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog is mis-aligned</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699391</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 13 Nov 2010 14:01:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/699391</guid>
		<description>Rental Dog spent the day with us today.  She does not like to play with me.  She is certainly sociab ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Rental Dog spent the day with us today.  She does not like to play with me.  She is certainly sociable enough, but I can't get her to romp and chase and battle like I do with Calbert, Diesel, Dandy, or some of my other friends.

Then I realized something.  Rental Dog is mis-aligned.  Rental Dog is a Brindle Dog.  Her Brindles all come up and meet up in the middle of her back, or the middle of her front, but the don't "line up."

It is rather like a cheap striped shirt or pant.  Wee Lass had on a cheap pant today, bought from the clearance rack of a clearance store.  Fine for playing in the grass and mud, but the stripey pant pattern does NOT meet AT ALL on the sides.  Very Tacky.

Rental Dog also has white on only one side of her snout.

I just have to wonder?  Do Rental Dog's misaligned brindles reveal inner misalignments?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Some redeeming qualities</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698913</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 9 Nov 2010 10:51:33 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698913</guid>
		<description>In my last diary entry, I rather went on about the excesses of Eddie Bauer, or Edwin Bauer, as the F ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In my last diary entry, I rather went on about the excesses of Eddie Bauer, or Edwin Bauer, as the Family refers to the store.

I do have to admit that Eddie Bauer does have SOME redeeming qualities.  Mom bought a Goose Down Throw from Eddie Bauer that is just, well, Perfect.

It was originally marketed at some outrageous price, then reduced, then finally in the post-Christmas attempt to "just plain get rid of things," Mom got it for less than $20.

Mom never thought it was worth the "outrageous price" but it is well worth less than $20.

This is what this Down Throw is good for, besides Throwing.  (For one must realize that in a family of dog and lads, plus one lass, that a "throw" means Throw.  That is why Mom has No Throw Pillows.  Sure she'd love to have some lovely Throw Pillow to enliven the couch, but to Lads a Throw Pillow literally means: Throw the Pillow.  At the dog.  At each other.  On the floor.)

Anyhoodles, I digress.  This Eddie Bauer Down Throw, besides being good for actual throwing, is perfect for laying on top of Mom.  Mom lays on couch.  Tummy down or tummy up doesn't matter, just tummy up is hillier.  Mom puts the Down Throw over her.  Then I, Pennie, lay myself On Top of the Down Throw, part snuggled between Mom's legs, and part snuggled on Moms buttocks or Mom's hilly tummy.  Then I snore.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where's the Crystal Standard American Brown Dog?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698165</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 3 Nov 2010 19:04:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698165</guid>
		<description>First off, Dogsters, don't get me wrong, I am in love with labradors as much as any other dog.  I ha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ First off, Dogsters, don't get me wrong, I am in love with labradors as much as any other dog.  I have a particular fondness for a Labrador named Diesel.  If I am outside in my yard, and he is walking, he drags his parent over and we run, run, run to the point of exhaustion.  If he sees me on-leash, then he will grab my leash in his mouth, and attempt to "walk me."  I coyly allow him this casual flirtation, knowing that if I don't WANT him to "walk me," then I'll just take him down.

That being said, now that Campaign Literature Season is over, it is time for Howliday Catalog Season.  One of today's Howliday Catalogs was from Eddie Bauer.  I was a bit surprised at one of the offerings:

A Crystal Labrador Statue.  Price:  $699.

This is what the Eddie Bauer website has to say
"We’ve been dog lovers ever since Eddie brought the first black Labrador retriever into Washington State in 1930. “Blackie” inspired Eddie to form Wanapum Kennels to raise and train champion field dogs. In celebration of this heritage and our 90th anniversary, we commissioned Steuben, the world-renowned glassmaker, to create this pure lead crystal collectible."

In case Eddie Bauer did NOT know, I am certain that LEAD is not good for Labradors.

Secondly, for $699, I am certain one could get an AUTHENTIC LABRADOR.

Thirdly, for $699, I am certain one could get multiple non-Authentic, but perfectly reasonable facsimile Labradors, AKA Shelter Labrador Mutts.

And Fourthly, most important:  where is the Commissioned Steuben, world-renowned Standard American Brown Dog?

Now, THAT would look stunning on the mantle.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Post Partisan Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698113</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 3 Nov 2010 11:30:05 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/698113</guid>
		<description>Last night I was forced to watch long, boring hours of election returns.  Mom coughed.  Dad wheezed. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I was forced to watch long, boring hours of election returns.  Mom coughed.  Dad wheezed.  It was soooo utterly boring.  Why can't the American Elected Officials just sniff each other's butts, and then if they don't like each other, give a good bite so the other dog goes home?

There used to be an expression, I don't know where it came from:

Dog tired in the evening?  Maybe you've been growling too much during the day.

Well, all this boring election politics has made me realize that I am going to have to be Post-Partisan Pennie.  I will just have to learn to get along with Rental Dog Sophie and Housemate Dog Daisy.

Don't expect any love-fest, but I don't want to end up Voted Out of Office!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Giving In</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697966</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 2 Nov 2010 09:08:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697966</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad crept into the house in the wee hours of the morning; Rental Dog sneaking in with him.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad crept into the house in the wee hours of the morning; Rental Dog sneaking in with him.  I was already curled up with Mom.  Oldest Lad said I needed to go back to sleep with Mom, and he went to his room, along with Rental Dog.  Oldest Lad had come home just to sleep, VOTE, and then go back to school.

I was SUSPICIOUS, but, what was a Pennie to do?  Oldest Lad had already set up my old crate in his room.  He assured me that Rental Dog was going to sleep in the crate -- same room, but separate beds -- "plausible," set of circumstances.  Of course I was not born yesterday (and neither was Rental Dog, she is estimated to be about 4 years old, the same age as me.)

This morning when Mom got up, Mom and I tip toed over to Oldest Lad's room and opened the door.

Rental Dog was IN BED with Oldest Lad!

I had no idea what to do.  Neither Oldest Lad or Rental Dog even had the good manners to look Guilty!

I finally just hopped up onto the bed with Oldest Lad and Rental Dog and curled up.

"Sigh."  I know I have given in, but what is a Pennie Dog to do?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rental Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697367</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 29 Oct 2010 07:15:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697367</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad stopped by last night with his Rental Dog.  Her name is Sophie and she is some sort of Ca ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad stopped by last night with his Rental Dog.  Her name is Sophie and she is some sort of Cattle Dog.

Sophie seemed pleasant enough for a Foster.  I am not sure what horrid crime she committed to end up in the Shelter, but does she then have to end up as Oldest Lad's Rental Dog?  I suppose I should not be too unhappy -- Dad told Oldest Lad he could not get a permanent Dog, so Oldest Lad decided to do the next best thing:  Rent.  It seems akin to what most humans do before they buy a house.  Most humans Rent first, before they firmly commit to a Mortgage. 

Obviously, my big worry is that Rental Dog Sophie will become Mortgage Dog Sophie.  Yes, I saw the "pawrental" look in Oldest Lad's eyes as Sophie licked his chin and put her webbed paws upon his chest.  Even Mom was smitten over Sophie's flopped over ears, just like Mulligan had, and Sophie's vacuum snout running all over the family room and kitchen picking up bits since Mom has not vacuumed in a while.

The worst came when Rental Dog and Oldest Lad left for The Structure.  Oldest Lad firmly held me and told me I was still "his number one," but then guess who I saw sitting in all perky, perky, in the Front Passenger Seat of Oldest Lad's Car as it drove off down the street?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Humilo-Weenie Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697251</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 28 Oct 2010 07:18:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/697251</guid>
		<description>Last night was the first night of Humiloween for Me, Pennie.

Mom forced me to don the dreaded Hot ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night was the first night of Humiloween for Me, Pennie.

Mom forced me to don the dreaded Hot Dog Costume.  Mom added lots of yarn to the top to turn me into a Cheese Coney Dog!  

I am not sure if I was a "Gold Star" Cheese Coney or a "Skyline" Cheese Coney, as those are the most pawpular Coney Dogs in Cincinnati, and people are firmly entrenched in one Coney Camp or the other.

The band held it's annual "Trunk or Treat" for the marchers after band practice, so Dad loaded me up in the Orange Convertible, and off we rumbled.  Fortunately the Orange Car did not die, as it would have been far beyond my tolerance to need a tow while dressed as a Coney Dog.

I had no idea that high school aged GIRLS would adore a Cheese Coney Dog Pennie!  I was completely humiliated to be out in public, in fact, a Public High School Parking Lot, dressed as a Coney Dog, but I soon put my pride aside and worked it!  Those High School Girls didn't care if I was "Skyline" or "Gold Star" they just thought I was adorable!

I was exhausted by the time i came home.  I can only hope that Humiloween night itself will have many High School Girls to be my adoring Fans -- too bad Middle Lad doesn't have any High School Girl Adoring Fans, perhaps i should lend him my costume.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Oops, watch out for flying dogs!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696979</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 26 Oct 2010 09:24:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696979</guid>
		<description>A huge weather system is passing through the Tri-state area right now and I am right in the thick of ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ A huge weather system is passing through the Tri-state area right now and I am right in the thick of it!

Yes, I am at The Structure with Oldest Lad, after spending the night with him.  His street is up on a hill and overlooks the city of Cincinnati, giving a perfect view to watch the storm pass over the city.

There is a News Crew, Channel 5, on MY Street.  Right Now.  Taking video and pictures of the storm.

I do like my picture taken, and would love to be on TV, but NOT because I am being zapped by lightning or The Structure is being blown down and oops, there goes a Standard American Brown Dog flying through the air!

Oh, why could I not be back in boring old Suburbia, with My brick house, and sub-ground basement?  Oh sure, my house in Suburbia is also on a hill, but, it's a lot sturdier than The Structure.  (Other Woman's Dad already told her to head to Campus, as those buildings would be safer than Other Woman's Structure.)

The whole reason I am even at The Structure is that I was at The Nearly Naked Mile last night.  Oldest Lad ran in it.  He tried to get Me, Pennie, to run in it.  I would have nothing of it.  I was not going to run about University, clad in a Sports Bra, with Coeds wearing boxers, Speedos, bikinis, and well, Nearly Naked.  Perhaps I am just a Dog, but I do have the sense not to Run in public in my skivvies.

And now I am stuck, waiting for The Structure to collapse.  I do hope Oldest Lad prepares me a hot lunch before the power goes out.

PUPDATE!  Mom just saw on the news the Channel 5 Reporter, on the very street that I, Pennie, am trapped on!  The Reporter was drenched and being whipped about by high winds.
Mom is hoping that I am not outside anywhere near that Reporter.

PUPDATE II !  I am fine, and the storms are diminishing, but, guess who joined me and Oldest Lad in bed this morning?  Yes, that Hussy Dog Daisy.  For Dog's sake she didn't even have the decency to wait for me to leave to prove that she now has her paws on Oldest Lad!  I do have to wonder how Daisy's Man, Danny, feels about Daisy hopping in to sleep with Oldest Lad as soon as Danny leaves for class.

PUPDATE III !  I am back at home.  Er, yes, Mom, I did nap with one of Oldest Lad's Structure Mates today while Oldest Lad was at class.  But no, that doesn't make me a Hussy like Daisy.  No.  Daisy is a hussy.  Not me.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>I should have just gotten up!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696903</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 25 Oct 2010 15:00:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696903</guid>
		<description>In my previous diary entry I wrote how Mom was mad at me for being lazy and not doing my doggly duty ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In my previous diary entry I wrote how Mom was mad at me for being lazy and not doing my doggly duty of getting up in the morning with her and Middle Lad.

Oh, I should have know that Mom, as a female, was the vindictive sort!

What did Mom bring home from her shopping expedition today?

Oh, horror of horrors:  a Hot Dog Costume!

Next time I have the overwhelming desire to sleep in, I will have to think of the horrid specter of Me, Pennie, dressed as a Hot Dog, paraded about Suburbia in abject humiliation.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Lazy Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696857</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 25 Oct 2010 07:42:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696857</guid>
		<description>Just because I like to sleep in doesn't mean one has to question my work ethic does it?

This morn ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just because I like to sleep in doesn't mean one has to question my work ethic does it?

This morning Mom's alarm clock went off at 6:10 am and she stumbled off to wake up Middle Lad for Public School.  I was snoozing quite comfortably on the Concrete Queen, snuggled up next to Dad, who was so busy snoring away that he failed to notice that a Dog was touching him while he slept.  We all know how Dad feels about having Dog parts touch him while he sleeps.  Unlike Mom, who had abandoned The Snorer for The Couch, several hours previously, I, Pennie, was finding the sounds emanating forth from Dad quite soothing.

Mom called to me, insisting that I get up and come downstairs to join her while she reminded Middle Lad of all his morning obligations:  deodorize pits, deodorize mouth, swallow ADD pills, attach Epi-Pen to body.  Really, I am NOT needed, as Mom seems to have all that nagging firmly in control.

THIS morning, I quietly exited the scene and went into Oldest Lad's empty room (for alas he is undoubtedly sharing his bed at The Structure with that hussy, Daisy) and resumed snoozing in comfort on Oldest Lad's bed.

Mom called for me.  And called for me.  She finally gave up.

When it was time for Mom to wake up Little Lad and Wee Lass, Mom finally found me, snoozing away.  Mom was NOT happy.

Mom said:  "Getting up with family members is part of your Doggly Duty.  It is part of your job."

Oh.  Well, I certainly don't remember stamping my paw on any contract saying that I had to get up at the crack of dawn just to listen to Mom nag at Middle Lad.  Perhaps Mom needs to just let DAD get up with Middle Lad and learn the wonders of sleeping in with ME, Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Betrayed!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696314</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 21 Oct 2010 07:03:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/696314</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad shares his quarters at the University Structure with a total of Five Guys.  Recently, Str ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad shares his quarters at the University Structure with a total of Five Guys.  Recently, Structure-mate Danny brought his dog, Daisy, to live at the Structure.  Danny's Mom was moving from a house to an apartment, and thought that Daisy would be much happier living in a house with a yard, and with more companionship, than in the apartment.

From the outside, this all sounds perfectly reasonable.  Daisy sleeps with Danny at night.  Daisy is not home alone for long periods, as the Five Guys are constantly in and out of the Structure due to their class schedule.

Fine?  Not to me.

Just yesterday, Oldest Lad called home and I overheard him saying to Mom that he had just woken up from a NAP.  With Daisy.

Oh.  So is that what it is called these days.  A Nap.

So former Senator John Edwards was simply having a NAP with Rielle Hunter.  Well.  Elizabeth Edwards is just being unreasonable in making such a fuss over a "Nap."

Dad would certainly not be happy if he came home from work and discovered that Mom was napping with another man.  It would be far worse if she let another man use Dad's garage and tools, but still, Dad insists that Mom Nap only with him or me.

I should have known that this Daisy business was going to lead to nothing but trouble!  Here I thought I could trust Oldest Lad, but like all females before, I have learned that males just can not be trusted!

On another news story:  Oldest Lad has been qualified to "Foster" dogs.  He has assured me that he will only foster male dogs, so as not to interfere with "our" relationship.  At this point I just don't know what to believe.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>No Foreign Campaign Contributions</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/695826</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 17 Oct 2010 10:48:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/695826</guid>
		<description>Vote for ME, Pennie, in the World's Coolest!

I have not received a single yuan, euro, pound, dina ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Vote for ME, Pennie, in the World's Coolest!

I have not received a single yuan, euro, pound, dinar, franc, peso, sucre, guilder, krone, quetzal, koruna or even a shilling in foreign donations for my campaign.

No, this voting is all free!  So vote for me, Pennie, it's all honest!

<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href="http://www.dogster.com/show10/vote_pet.php?i=605326">Vote for Pennie in the World's Coolest</a>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>This Voting is Lots of Fun!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694737</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 9 Oct 2010 16:00:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694737</guid>
		<description>I have been having a great time voting for all my pals, and new dogs I haven't met before.

Unlike ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been having a great time voting for all my pals, and new dogs I haven't met before.

Unlike the regular Elections, I can vote for as many Pups as I want, regardless of their politics!

AND:  No negative Campaign Ads!

Remember to vote for Me, Pennie!



<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href="http://www.dogster.com/show10/vote_pet.php?i=605326">Vote for Pennie in the World's Coolest</a>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Vote for Pennie will NOT raise Taxes!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694608</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 8 Oct 2010 16:25:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694608</guid>
		<description>Vote for Me, Pennie, in the World's Coolest Dog Contest!  I promise to not raise your Taxes, Add to  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Vote for Me, Pennie, in the World's Coolest Dog Contest!  I promise to not raise your Taxes, Add to the Deficit, or pass down Non-funded Mandates!

<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href="http://www.dogster.com/show10/vote_pet.php?i=605326">Vote for Pennie in the World's Coolest</a>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I am NOT a Pennie Pillow Pet!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694401</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 7 Oct 2010 08:56:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694401</guid>
		<description>I am not a Pillow Pet.  How can a dog have missed seeing the Pervasive Pillow Pet Commercials?  At f ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am not a Pillow Pet.  How can a dog have missed seeing the Pervasive Pillow Pet Commercials?  At first Pillow Pets were only available by Special Order on TV or through the Internet.  Now that the weather has (at times) become cooler I have even seen Pillow Pets at Walgreens, that Purveyor of Prescriptions, Pillow Pets, and most of the other "as seen on TV" items.  Yep.  Saw the Pillow Pets from my Perch in the van; as I can now (if the weather permits) resume monitoring Mom on her errands without hearing:  "you can't come with me, Pennie, because it is too hot, and your brain will cook."

Little Lad now has a Pillow Pet.  A Brown Dog Pillow Pet, of course.  That is where the resemblance ends.
1.  I am not flat.
2.  I do not have a "hook and loop" (velcro) strap that pulls my tummy in to make me "thin."  (Hmm.  That might be handy for Mom and perhaps certain other family members.)

And most importantly:

Don't lay on me.  Ever.  I, Pennie, am NOT a Pillow.

I do enjoy using People as a Pillow.  Mom makes a good People Pillow.  Oldest Lad makes a good People Pillow.
I do not tolerate being a Pennie Pillow.

In an unrelated matter; last night Mom was cough, cough, coughing, and spent the night on the couch.  I joined her.  Mom did NOT lay her head on me as a Pennie Pillow, but did snuggle with me.

She said:  "Ewww, Pennie, you have Frito Feet!"

Mom ended up putting her Bed Pillow, between Me and Her, so as not to smell my Frito Feet.  Her legs stuck off the other end of the couch, but it seemed to work.

Here's the thing:  I did not complain, not even ONE TIME, about Mom's cough, cough, coughing.  I did not complain about Mom's feet.  I did not complain about the mentholyptus vapors of Mom's cough drops. I did not complain that Mom watched an ultra boring show "Secrets of World War Two:  What Really Happened to Rommel," in her attempts to fall asleep and stop coughing.

I think Mom could have had the courtesy to avoid commenting about my Frito Feet; which I thought smelled great.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Squirrel Patrol Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694265</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 6 Oct 2010 11:51:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/694265</guid>
		<description>I am almost ready to admit defeat in my battle against that Rodent of all Rodentia: Sciurus carolini ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am almost ready to admit defeat in my battle against that Rodent of all Rodentia: Sciurus caroliniensis.  The common gray squirrel.

I cannot enter the 0.23 Southern Acreage of my 0.46 Acres of Suburbia without crunch, crunch, crunching on ACORNS!  The giant Oak Tree in the Southern Half has expelled millions, if not billions of Squirrel Kibble all over my domain.

The split second the back door opens, I race my Squirrel Patrol Pennie body out towards the Oak Tree.  Squirrels scatter.  Then they sit upon their little Squirrel Hineys and peer down at me, taunting me in their little Squirrel Chatter.

I am certain if I could only obtain a Warrant to plant listening devices in the trees, I would uncover some fiendish Squirrel Terror Plot those Rodents are chattering about.  Unfortunately, the Squirrels always proclaim their First Amendment right to Free Chatter.

Alas, I have yet to catch any of the little gray fiends.  My yard is a virtual Squirrel Smorgasbord:  so covered in Squirrel-enticing Acorns that even the gleaming teeth and salivating jowls of Patrol Pennie are not enough to keep the fell beasts away.

Someday, squirrels, someday . . . .]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Unbelievable.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/693416</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 30 Sep 2010 07:22:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/693416</guid>
		<description>After all I have done for him . . .

I have been putting up with Other Woman for a long time now.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ After all I have done for him . . .

I have been putting up with Other Woman for a long time now.  I have even come to accept her on limited terms; we are "frenemies."

Oh, do I even need to explain all I have done:  nursing Oldest Lad through two Knee Reconstructions.  AP Physics.  University.

Well.

Oldest Lad now has "Other Dog."

Yep.  I first met "Other Dog" over the weekend.  One of Oldest Lad's Structure-Mates brought Other Dog down with him.  Seems Structure-Mate's Mom was moving to an apartment, and Other Dog was being evicted.  Structure-Mate brought Other Dog to live at The Structure.  Seems perfectly plausible, perfectly fine, on the outside!

Unfortunately, Oldest Lad has an inherent attractiveness to ALL Dogs.  Dogs are just crazy about Oldest Lad.  It's like Oldest Lad is some sort of Dog version of Elvis Presley.  Naturally this Other Dog has become crazed about Oldest Lad.  Lays upon his bed. Snuggles with him on the couch.

Oldest Lad "claims" that Other Dog "sleeps" with Structure Mate, but, "sigh," I am just not sure what to believe . . . .]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Pennie foils crate again!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/693046</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 27 Sep 2010 11:26:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/693046</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, lived this past weekend as a Collegiate Dog, once again.  I spent the entire weekend at T ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, lived this past weekend as a Collegiate Dog, once again.  I spent the entire weekend at The Structure, Oldest Lad's "house," while Mom and Dad took Little Lad and Wee Lass to a Water Park.  Mom and Dad, ever the cheap skates, got discount passes, because they were "with the band."  The Public High School Marching Band spent the weekend at a Water Park, and an Amusement Park; ostensibly as part of a "Marching Band Contest."  Pawsonally, I, Pennie, see no connection between a Water Park, an Amusement Park, and Marching Bands, but regardless Zero Public Tax Money paid for the trip, and the Band was announced Grand Champion of the event.

I, Pennie, was not invited.

I think I would have made a Champion Chaperone.  Yes.  As soon as one of those teen tricksters attempted to leave their hotel room after curfew, I would have barked and barked, and chased them down the hall.  Oh, threaten a teen with suspension all one wants; threaten them with forty-two gleaming teeth in the arse?

But I digress.

Instead, my crate was un-laddered from the attic and sent with me, Pennie, down to "The Structure."  Oldest Lad brought the crate for he was afraid that I would be "upset" at Mom and Dad abandoning me.

Well, yes, indeed I was upset!

The last time I was Crated, I managed to escape by pulling the crate door actually inside the crate!  Mom bought a new crate door (there was still a replacement crate door available for this circa 1986 crate, how embarrassing!)

Oldest Lad went out Saturday night, and did not invite me!  Instead, he left me locked in the crate, and locked in his bedroom.

Guess who was NOT in the crate when Oldest Lad returned?  No, I pulled the shiny new door inside the crate, and spent my evening worrying comfortably on Oldest Lad's bed.

When Oldest Lad returned me back to Suburbia on Sunday night, Mom insisted that the crate be reassembled and then Oldest Lad got INSIDE the crate, shut the door and attempted to get out!  
He could not.

Oh, I know that I shall not reveal my secret, even under the greatest of torture.  Waterboard me all night long, and I shall not reveal the secret to my escape.

I am quite confidant that I, Pennie, shall never be crated again.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Casserole and Pennie To Go!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/691240</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 15 Sep 2010 08:25:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/691240</guid>
		<description>I am exhausted!  Last night I had another Collegiate Sleepover.  Officially classes have not started ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am exhausted!  Last night I had another Collegiate Sleepover.  Officially classes have not started at Oldest Lad's University, but I was invited to spend the night at The Structure, Oldest Lad's Rental Home.

Oldest Lad took me for a walk on Campus and we played Fetch on a practice field!

Mom spent part of the day making a Paula Deen Recipe Casserole for a family from Church.  Normally when Mom makes a dinner for another family, she doubles the recipe and makes:  one for the Other Family, and on for US.

When Oldest Lad got wind that Mom was making a Paula Deen Casserole, he dropped off an empty 9 X 13 dish at the house.  Later in the day, he grabbed a now filled Casserole dish, and Me, Pennie!

When Dad came home, he immediately smelled Chicken Pot Pie cooking in the oven.  He began to salivate.  Then Mom announced:  "Don't bother.  This one is going to the Church Family and Oldest Lad took the second Pot Pie."

Dad was not happy.  He murmured something about it being bad enough that Oldest Lad was taking all his money, but when it came to taking his Pot Pie, that was getting to be too much.

Eventually, Mom left with the Chicken Pot Pie, Fruit Salad, and Cookies, to deliver them.

Mom got a call on her cell phone.

Dad:  "Where's Pennie?"

Well.  Now I know how I stand with Dad.  It took 15 seconds for Dad to realize that he was missing out on a Paula Deen Recipe Chicken Pot Pie.  It took OVER ONE HOUR for Dad to realize that Me, Pennie, was missing!

I still enjoyed myself AND I certainly enjoyed that Pot Pie that Dad did not get, and in my view, did NOT deserve!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where's the Status and Glamour?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690941</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:55:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690941</guid>
		<description>Just last week I, Pennie, had the unique opportunity to spend an entire 24 hours representing all of ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just last week I, Pennie, had the unique opportunity to spend an entire 24 hours representing all of Dogdom as one it's Daily Diary Picks.  Then today, I discovered that once I again I was selected as one of the chosen few allowed to spend the day in that glorious spotlight.

What do I get for it?

A cake?

A fancy gift, perhaps a fancy take-out hamburger from one of the local fast food establishments?

No.

Mom did not even snap a photo of me, last week, OR today, to remember the momentous occasion.

All Mom has done today is "check my stool."  Last night the family ate dinner on the back porch.  Suddenly, I RACED off the back porch!  The back yard was dark, preventing the family from determining what I was doing.

I came back to the house licking my lips, obviously having "eaten something."  Oldest Lad searched the back yard.  He found an old Diaper Delite, which I had obviously retrieved from the trash and enjoyed previously.  He found a naked Ken doll and a naked Barbie doll underneath the swing set; he was not sure what they were up to, but left them to their privacy.

Oldest Lad and Mom never did find what I "ate," but from the smug look of satisfaction on my jowls, it was good, and shall remain my secret.  Unless my digestive tract gives me away.

I don't think my family will ever appreciate me or perhaps they are just jealous.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Who are they trying to trap?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690476</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 10 Sep 2010 13:41:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690476</guid>
		<description>Target has a new line of products.  One is a &quot;Pop Up&quot; Dog Kennel.  It's just like one of those stupi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Target has a new line of products.  One is a "Pop Up" Dog Kennel.  It's just like one of those stupid hampers that come in a zip bag, and then when the pawrent opens the bag, the hamper leaps out and stabs the poor Dog in the snout!

OK.  So what dog is going to be "crated" or "kennel" in something as sturdy as a Pop-Up Hamper?

Not Me!

I, Pennie, managed to pull the metal door of my plastic clamshell crate INSIDE the crate.  That finally convinced the pawrents to take apart the crate and put it away for fear that I would injure myself.  Instead, if I get severe separation anxiety, I can always chew a door or some of Little Lad's favorite toys. 

 I will not be contained by some stupid Pop-Up Kennel Hamper.

I was thinking that perhaps it would be entertaining to put the Wee Lass inside the Pop Up Kennel.  Oops, did I really say that?  Better xxxxxxxx that out before Mumzie notices.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>R.I.C.E. Nurse Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690106</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 8 Sep 2010 03:49:05 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/690106</guid>
		<description>On Sunday, Dad did a &quot;stupid thing.&quot;

The downspout that drains half the attached garage was spewi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Sunday, Dad did a "stupid thing."

The downspout that drains half the attached garage was spewing it's contents all over the side walk, and subsequently overflowing into the garage.  And sometimes the basement.  The Gutter itself was clean.  The downspout was clean.  Dad determined that it was actually the underground drainage.

Seems some insidious roots, no longer content to stay inside their own borders, "the yard," had decided to invade the drainage pipe territory!  Oldest Lad and Dad dug a long trench in the front yard to find those Invasive Roots.

I, Pennie supervised.  I did not dig. Oh, sure I love to dig, but as "Supervisor Pennie" it was not my JOB to dig, but to Supervise!

Dad finally found the offending roots who had launched the invasion and, well, he gave them an "all out assault" so to speak by chopping them to bits.

Then Dad commenced with the laying new drainage pipe into the ground.

Dad bent over the drain pipe to cut it in an "awkward position."  In his own words:  "I would have yelled at one of the Lad's if they used a Utility Knife while hunched in that position."

Dad proceeded to Jab a MUDDY Utility Knife straight into his Ankle Bone.  There was actually little blood as Dad keeps his Utility Knife razor sharp.

Soon enough Dad came into the house, with "Sprained Ankle" symptoms.

Here's where Nurse Pennie comes to the Rescue!

R.I.C.E.  Rest Ice Compression Elevation.

ALL competent nurses know about rice!

Dad, being a MAN, was NOT a compliant patient.

I, Pennie, lay on the couch with Dad, encouraging "R."

I could not provide "I," but there is an ice machine inside the fridge, so Dad could get that easily.

Then came the "C" and the "E."  Oh, I did my best!  I alternated between laying upon Dad's ankle to provide Compression; and allowing Dad to put his ankle ON me to provide Elevation.

Dad criticized me at every chance!

He was a most non-compliant patient!

I am charting in my nurses log that Dad was "Non-Compliant."

Eventually Mom took Dad to the ER, still thinking the ankle was sprained.  It turns out that when Dad jabbed the utility Knife into his ankle, it jabbed into the bone.  That sent his ankle nerves into over-drive, giving the same symptoms as a sprain.  The ER was glad that Dad came in, for they said that "jabbing a MUDDY utility knife" into one's bone can rapidly set up a bone infection.  Dad was started on strong antibiotics and given a Tetanus Shot.

Pawsonally, I am done with the "RICE" of Dad.  Obviously he cares little for the Nurse Profession.  I have logged Dad's non-compliance in my Nurse Pennie Notes, and will testify as such if there is a lawsuit.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Public School Terrorists!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689817</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 6 Sep 2010 08:03:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689817</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am growing in my concern over home-grown Terrorists, right here, in:  America's Public Sc ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am growing in my concern over home-grown Terrorists, right here, in:  America's Public Schools!

Yes.  While American Politicians have been posturing over "Border Security" and "Homicide Bombers," Middle Lad's Public School has been busy cultivating Terrorists!

As usual, no one will listen to the Shelter Dog.

Last year, I alerted every dog that Middle Lad had joined the Terrorist Group Al Gebra.  Every school day he dutifully attended Public School, armed with his Weapons of Math Instruction, including an Advanced Calculator.

This year it has only gotten worse!  "Gulp!"

He is now Multiplying Radicals!

I saw the Multiplying Radicals Worksheet with my own eyes!

This is all funded by:  American Tax Payers!  It is not even hidden; one can go to the County Auditor's website and find out how much Property Tax goes to fund the Public Schools and their Insidious Terrorist Plots.

I shall be sleeping with one eye open and one Canine Tooth Bared when Middle Lad is Home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie in Print</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689583</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 4 Sep 2010 13:05:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689583</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie am one of THE Featured Past Rescues in the latest edition of my Shelter's Bi-monthly newsl ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie am one of THE Featured Past Rescues in the latest edition of my Shelter's Bi-monthly newsletter!

The photo is my famous "Explorer of Suburbia" picture!

Mom: "Er, Pennie, you do realize that League posts pictures of ALL former rescues, don't you?"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dog-ly Duty</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689420</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Sep 2010 05:37:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689420</guid>
		<description>Mom insists that I get up when she gets up with Middle Lad.

I think it is ridiculous for the Publ ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom insists that I get up when she gets up with Middle Lad.

I think it is ridiculous for the Public School to force teenagers to start school so early.  I protest by staying in bed.

Mulligan?  He was like a General; always supporting the troops, up, fresh and ready for action when it was time to send the Lads off to school.

Mom says it is my "Dog-Ly Duty."

I, Pennie, headed off and hid in another part of the house and went back to sleep.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Afraid to go outside!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689071</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 1 Sep 2010 08:40:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/689071</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am afraid to go outside!

Other Woman is . . .

using power tools.

In a remarkable ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am afraid to go outside!

Other Woman is . . .

using power tools.

In a remarkable manipulation of the intention of the Second Garage, Oldest Lad secured the use of the Second Garage while Dad was away at Lake Havisu, spending Quality Time with his Boss.  Apparently Dad's Quality Time was a bit disrupted when Dad refused to take place in the Scheduled Team Building Activity:  Sky Diving.  Boss had it all scheduled.  Dad said:  "Oh, it's fine, as long as I can stay inside the plane."

(Of course then Mom had to ask:  If this was a "Work" Team Building Activity, would Double Indemnity have applied for the Work Life Insurance?  Mom is certain that Sky Diving is a Disqualifying Activity on the Life Insurance, but if Dad was forced to partake for "Team Building" and then had a Heart Attack due to his Fear of Heights and Jumping from High Places . . . But I digress.)

Normally, all "Estrogen" is NOT allowed in the Second Garage.

Mom does make "rare" incursions into the Second Garage, but Dad's Neatness disturbs her.  The tools lined up in alphabetical order bother her sense of randomness.

Dogs ARE allowed.

Oldest Lad, with Dad away, made a Command Decision that Other Woman could Use Power Tools, and then Oldest Lad would De-Contaminate all the Estrogen from the Garage.

I REFUSE to go outside.

Oh, I'll scamper about the garage as a neighbor "rips down a board."

As soon as I hear and FEEL, the rumble of the convertible starting (it shakes the house, which isn't even  ATTACHED to the Second Garage) my heart races and I RUN to the back door to go for a ride.

But Other Woman using Power Tools?

Suddenly I am quite content to stay in the Air Conditioning and listen to "Dora the Explorer."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nacho Haystack</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688954</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 12:32:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688954</guid>
		<description>This morning there was quite the discussion between Mom and Little Lad about LUNCH.  Last night Litt ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning there was quite the discussion between Mom and Little Lad about LUNCH.  Last night Little Lad had informed Mom that he was BUYING his lunch in the Public School Cafeteria.  This morning, Little Lad was quite upset, and rethinking his decision.

The menu item of discussion was "Nacho Haystack."

Mmmm.  What's not to like about "Nacho Haystack?"

I, Pennie, NEVER, get a CHOICE about lunch.  In fact, I don't even GET lunch.  I get SCRAPS of lunch, from whatever Mom or Wee Lass are eating.  Or if anyone else is home, I get their leftovers.

I certainly never get to choose:  Do I pack a lunch?  Or do I buy a lunch?

And no one ever makes me a "Kibble Haystack."

I get "Kibble in the Utility Room."  OR "Kibble in the Kitchen."

I suppose one could say that I have "eaten out" only if one considers that I have eaten Kibble at the Kennel.

Coincidentally, today Oldest Lad did take me on errands, and brought home Pizza.  He cut up a piece of pizza for me, on a plate, no less, and put he plate near the kitchen table so I could join Mom, Wee Lass, and Other Woman.

Still, I think that compared to Little Lad, who not only GETS LUNCH, but gets to PICK HIS LUNCH, that I, Pennie, am getting an unfair deal.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>One of the Dogster Diary Pick of the Day</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688777</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 09:54:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688777</guid>
		<description>I was informed that today, Monday, I am a Dogster Diary Pick of the Day.

But I have nothing to sa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was informed that today, Monday, I am a Dogster Diary Pick of the Day.

But I have nothing to say!

I am certain it is all the fault of my Micro-Chip.

Dad fixed my electronic fence after it was broken for about two months.  He put up new flags, but of course I got ZAPPED a few times.

I am certain this re-booted my Micro-Chip, and I simply cannot formulate any thoughts.

Then there is the whole problem with the House Network.  With several computers running off the the House Network, there is any amazing amount of information constantly flowing through the Ether!  I cannot ever catch a nap without some byte of information coming through my chip.

Middle Lad, when home, uses most of the Network to watch "Dr. Who" or "Star Trek" videos on iTunes.  Certainly, any dogs who have watched "Dr. Who" or one of the never-ending generations of "Star Trek" must know that the constant streaming of those videos through my Micro-Chip create a terrible miasma of confusion in my brain.

(Incidentally, I am certain that the reason there are so many "Star Trek" generations and variations is due to Captain Kirk trekking about the universe and, well, he was the first Cosmic "Ho."  There will always be a new "Star Trek" generation because there will always be some Captain Kirk spore somewhere out in the Universe, from some night that Kirk forgot once he entered warp speed.)

Now, when I, Pennie, need to bark something profound due being a Diary Pick, my brain is just on Sleep Mode!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Applesauce.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688356</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 27 Aug 2010 10:32:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/688356</guid>
		<description>I do not like applesauce.

I will eat diapers.  I love to chomp on a good mole.  Unfortunately, I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I do not like applesauce.

I will eat diapers.  I love to chomp on a good mole.  Unfortunately, I have rid the yard of moles.  Realizing that Mole Hunter Pennie now lives here, the moles I failed to eat foreclosed on their tunnels and moved to the neighbor's yard.

I will eat:  carrots.  zucchini.

Oh, I tried to be polite about the whole applesauce thing.  But I curled up my lips so my whiskers did not get spoiled by that Johnny Appleseed planted fruit, stuck out my tongue as far as I could and gave polite licks.

Mom finally got the hint.  I will clean up most casserole dishes, but she will have to clean up applesauce.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Zip Zapped Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/687471</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 21 Aug 2010 15:26:58 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/687471</guid>
		<description>Well, my days of freedom are over.  I should have known it wouldn't last.  Back at the beginning of  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, my days of freedom are over.  I should have known it wouldn't last.  Back at the beginning of summer Dad accidentally cut my e-fence wire.  (Was it part of a secret plot to have me run off, get hit by a car, and then for Dad to get the Concrete Queen bed to be dog free?)

At first I was quite good about staying in the yard.  Then I discovered that I could freely go from front yard to back yard.  Then I learned I could go anywhere I wanted!

The best was when Mom was next door picking up Little Lad from a play date and I just ran right into the neighbor's house!  Wow, they sure have some cool toys, no wonder all the kids want to play there!

Mom put her foot down firmly.  She threatened to call the e-fence company and have them come out and repair the fence.

Dad would consider that an insult to his manliness.  Dad finally admitted he had put the job off for too long and fixed the fence.

ZAP!  I completely ignored the warning flags that Dad put up in an attempt to remind me that my 0.46 acres of Suburbia had returned to electronic status quo.

Some night, while Dad is snoring away on the Concrete Queen Bed, I, Pennie, am going to secretly install my e-collar around certain parts of his anatomy.  Then when Dad leaves the yard, he is going to find out what it is like to be Zapped!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Meteors showering</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/686221</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:23:58 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/686221</guid>
		<description>The meteors were showering last night.  I never realized it was such a big deal.  Oldest Lad and Oth ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The meteors were showering last night.  I never realized it was such a big deal.  Oldest Lad and Other Woman and a friend or two went to a local park that is on a big hill to watch the Meteors Showering.  I was not invited!  Oldest Lad said he thought that I might be bored, having to stay in one place at the park, when I usually got to roam about.

When Oldest Lad got home, he took me for a walk to watch the meteors showering.  What does one bring to watch the meteors shower?  A bar of soap?  A towel?  A shower cap?

Certainly as Personal Hygiene Princess I am most interested when anyone showers.  I must thoroughly inspect ever nook and cranny to insure that all body parts have been cleansed properly.  (There is not much nudity when my cold nose is around.)  I like to lick the shower doors, the bath tub, and the tiles.

Overall, I was not impressed with the Meteors Showering.  It was very dry.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dogster iPhone App</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/686040</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:29:58 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/686040</guid>
		<description>Grrrreat, Dogster now has an &quot;App&quot; for the iPhone!

Just more noise to be going through my microch ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Grrrreat, Dogster now has an "App" for the iPhone!

Just more noise to be going through my microchip!

And of course Mom doesn't even have an iPhone or a Droid or any other "cool" phone, so I won't even be able to decipher the Dogster Voices being sent through my Chip!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Territory Shrinkage</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685975</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Aug 2010 07:06:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685975</guid>
		<description>Last night I confronted Dad.  Dad &quot;claimed&quot; he had no idea that he had been lying to Me and Mom and  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I confronted Dad.  Dad "claimed" he had no idea that he had been lying to Me and Mom and indeed to Mulligan!
Dad "acted" the part of an astonished Man.  He immediately paused the TV.  It was quite a good episode of "Secrets of World War II."  All about the Battle of the Bulge and included admission that the Allies had many clues through Ultra and Enigma that a Battle was brewing but certain arrogant commanders chose to ignore the warnings.  But I digress.

Dad went downstairs and looked up the Survey that he had done prior to building his Second Garage.  He looked up The Mulligan Compound Property at the Auditor's Web Site.

Dad came back upstairs, looking quite ashen, and mumbling something about "shrinkage."

Dad "claimed" that he was told at the closing of the Property, that he and Mom now duly mortgaged and owed to the bank, for 0.6, perhaps even 0.62 acres.  According to the Multiple Listing Service, our Property is listed as "between half an acre and one acre."

Where did the 0.14 acres go?  Dad even used a calculator to run the numbers from the Property Survey, and came up with 0.46.

I am certain that Squirrels are responsible for this.  No doubt through some sort of Eminent Domain Land Seizure, the Squirrels have been secretly taking land away from Me, Pennie, one Acorn at a time.

It was agreed upon that my Kibble Ration did not have to be reduced, despite my Property being reduced by over 20 percent.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hot Cat/Lying Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685688</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 Aug 2010 09:35:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685688</guid>
		<description>Dad has been lying to me.  Dad has been lying to Mom.

I do not know if either I, or Mom should co ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad has been lying to me.  Dad has been lying to Mom.

I do not know if either I, or Mom should continue this relationship.  It all started just minutes ago.

When Mom came home from swim lessons with Little Lad and Wee Lass, she let me outside.  It is quite hot today, already 87 degrees, and according to "the Weather Channel," feels like 91 degrees.  Hot or not, I, Pennie, do not expect to find Invaders In MY Yard!  Mom let me out in the front yard, but not 3 seconds later, Mom was flashed by a Brown Blur as I passed her at Warp Pennie speed.

The Cat from next door was in my yard!  Again!

I, Pennie, have MY 0.6 acres of Suburbia to defend from Invaders.  I decided to do a Property Search of the Public Record to find out how much Property belongs to this cat.  That is when I discovered that Dad has been lying to me.  Dad has been lying to Mom.

Dad told Me and Mom, in fact Dad told MULLIGAN; that we duly mortgage 0.6 acres.  Well, according to the Property Search we only mortgage 0.46 Acres!

How can we ever trust Dad again?  Dad did have a Survey of The Property done before he built his Garage.  Perhaps he can "justify" this outrageous LIE that he has been telling us all these years, but perhaps not.

No wonder Dad is so selfish about sharing the Concrete Queen Bed; he cannot even be trusted to declare the correct amount of territory that I, Pennie must defend!

The Cat next door has it's own LOT, equal, if not LARGER than my own.  That Cat, according to Property Search as 0.466 acres, a full 0.006 more than me!

That Cat does not need to be Trespassing into MY territory.

I shall have to have a talk with Dad.  Dog to Man.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Spooning.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685355</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Aug 2010 20:37:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685355</guid>
		<description>Dad does not like to Spoon with me.

I thought that I had come up with a perfectly equitable compr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad does not like to Spoon with me.

I thought that I had come up with a perfectly equitable compromise, which still allowed Dad to stay atop the Concrete Queen with Mom and I.  Mom's upper body snuggled up by Dad towards his head.  I was Spooning Dad's buttocks.  The rest of Mom was Spooning Me, Pennie.

It still was not good enough for Dad.  He just doesn't share well.  Perhaps he did not pass Public School Kindergarten.

I believe that the whole concept of "Spooning" began back when beds were first invented.  Even with the eventual invention of The Toothbrush and subsequently Toothpaste, The Bed necessitated that sleep partners must breathe in close proximity.

"Spooning" allows "friendly" bed partners to sleep close, while not sharing each other's breath.

"Spooning" also allows "non-friendly" bed partners to sleep close, out of necessity, without sharing breath.

For example, back in Colonial Days, even such Celebrity Patriots as John Adams and Benjamin Franklin were forced to live on a strict Government Expense Account.  Traveling about the Colonies, these two men, who absolutely HATED each other, were not expensed enough money to get a "double room" at Ye Olde Travel Lodge.  In fact, back then travelers often had to double-bunk with complete strangers.

Of course I, Pennie, am not suggesting that Dad and I are "non-friendly" bed partners; especially not of the level of say John Adams and Benjamin Franklin, but for Dog's sake, I am sure that back in Colonial Days there would have been at least FIVE or SIX people Spooning in the Concrete Queen, with the sheets changed at least once a year, and perhaps Dad just needs to learn to share.  Or sleep in his garage.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Pennie Files?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685249</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Aug 2010 06:55:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685249</guid>
		<description>Is there a Pennie File?

I have been a bit unsettled by the latest news scandal about Riverhead, N ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Is there a Pennie File?

I have been a bit unsettled by the latest news scandal about Riverhead, New York.  Apparently, Riverhead, NY has been using Google Earth to spy on it's denizens!  The Riverhead, NY, Pool Inspector has found at least 25 Non-Registered outdoor pools by scanning Google Earth.  The town has been able to collect or send notice to collect the proper taxes and inspection fees for the non-documented pools.

(Pawsonally, Pennie is Pro-Pool Inspection.  One certainly does not want to put one's Paw into a pool in which the Electrical Wiring has not been properly inspected.)

AND, FYI Google Earth, Dad's Second Garage was duly registered with the Township, the County, and passed all it's Inspections by the Building Inspector.

This scandal brings to mind:  What information about Me, Pennie, does Google Earth have?!!

Does Google Earth have a giant Pennie File?  Here I thought that all my Outdoor Activities were mostly private, other than the usual traffic of Suburbia!

Is my Township of Suburbia suddenly going to come and slap a Tax upon my Family for those Holes I dig in the yard?

Do I need a Mole License, for the Moles I hunt?

Mulligan's predecessor, Tyler, was known as the "Stealth Dog."  Tyler LOVED to dig big holes and lie in them.  The second day after his arrival he ripped out one of Mom's flower beds and chose that as one of his "spots."  The flowers were "unplanted" all along the garden, roots and all, almost as if they could be transplanted to some other spot.  If Mom had not been so fat with the contents of Little Lad in her abdomen that she could not bend over, Mom could have re-used the flowers.  These flowers were the first that Mom had found to grow in THE SHADE.  

Yes.  Tyler always dug IN THE SHADE.  Dig Tyler know about Google Earth?  Is that why he always chose to dig his holes in a sheltered spot, and lay under the thicket, or under the eaves of the house, where the spying eyes of Google Earth could not see?

Does Google Earth spy on me when I drag items out of the Garage?  Do they have me marked down as some kind of "Naughty Dog" because I enjoy dragging trash and recycling out of the garage and strewing it about the yard?  

Does Google Earth keep track of my Bowel Habits?  And Mom's Poop Collecting Habits?

I find myself quite disconcerted suddenly about this concept of Spy Satellites and exactly what is know about ME, Pennie!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Third Anniversary!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685110</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 5 Aug 2010 07:02:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/685110</guid>
		<description>Wednesday was the Third Anniversary of my Adoption!
I fully expected to be treated like Pennie Prin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Wednesday was the Third Anniversary of my Adoption!
I fully expected to be treated like Pennie Princess all day, but Swim Lessons trumped that!  Yes, I was abandoned in the morning.  Middle Lad was actually at home, playing video games in the basement.  He DID NOT INVITE ME TO PLAY!  Oh, sure, young teens are notoriously selfish and perhaps Middle Lad's ADD caused him to just plain forget that he was supposed to be lavishing me with attention, but I wet in the upstairs hallway; to express my displeasure.

Once everyone else returned, my Anniversary Day Began!  Oldest Lad made me an ooey, gooey, grilled ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.  Then he took me for a long ride down to University to visit his Structure. It was way too hot all day for a walk.

While out, Oldest Lad stopped at Wendy's and I got a double cheeseburger!

That night, Mom, Oldest Lad, and Other Woman took me out to buy new toys.

Overall, I was treated like Pennie Princess all day, and besides, Middle Lad had to walk in the "wet spot" every time he went to his room.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Jealousy!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/684533</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 1 Aug 2010 15:13:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/684533</guid>
		<description>Jealousy has reared it's ugly head! HAH!

Mom informed Oldest Lad that most of my tags had been fo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Jealousy has reared it's ugly head! HAH!

Mom informed Oldest Lad that most of my tags had been found in Calbert's yard.  That indeed Calbert had nibbled them off my neck, to savor them as a souvenir of Me, Pennie, until we could play again.

This is what Oldest Lad said:  "Oh, no, I am sure Calbert just wanted to steal Pennie's identity."  He has probably purchased great supplies of Puppy Toys from Amazon.com.

Right.  Oh, sure it's fine for Oldest Lad to have Other Woman.  During the long days I was whiling away MY hours at Camp Kennel (with No Nature Walks, as Dad SAID he signed me up for, but, well, Dad lied,) Oldest had Other Woman WITH HIM on Vacation.  Sure there were 11, yes 11 Chaperones aging from two to 60 to keep Oldest Lad and Other Woman apart, but still, Other Woman was there the whole time.

Obviously Oldest Lad just doesn't want to think that his beloved Dog, Pennie, might have HER own life, a MALE who wants to nibble her about her neck, and steal souvenirs as a token of his love.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Puppy Crush</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/684500</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 1 Aug 2010 10:33:58 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/684500</guid>
		<description>Apparently my new Pup Play Pal, Calbert, is a bit smitten with me.

Sure, Calbert is cute, fluffy, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Apparently my new Pup Play Pal, Calbert, is a bit smitten with me.

Sure, Calbert is cute, fluffy, and Polar Bear looking, but am I really "interested" in him other than as a Play Pal?

About two weeks ago Oldest Lad realized that my tags were missing!  Mom was most distressed, as vacation was imminent and she did not want me "unlabeled" while I went to Camp Kennel.  All that was hanging off of my collar was a misshapen "S" hook.

Me?  I was most distressed that Mom was going to Label Me.  Mom is Obsessive about labeling every sock, underwear, shoe or flashlight that Middle Lad takes to Boy Scout Camp or Little Lad takes to Public School.  I was certain that since my "Pennie" name tag with address and phone number was now missing, Mom was going to take a large black permanent marker and write "Pennie" on my back, along with my phone number and address.

Even my County Dog License was missing, and I was worried about outings in the car without my License.

Over the course of the next few days Mom did find my County License Tag and Rabies Tag inside the house.  My Name Tag was still missing, but Mom decided that since I am Microchipped I would be OK without permanent marker labeling and kissed me and sent me off to Camp Kennel.

THEN, this morning, Dad was outside, and Calbert's Pawrents stopped by and handed over:  My Name Tag and Microchip Tag.  They found them in their yard.

Seems that while Calbert and I were last playing, the Pup was Nibbling My Tags Right Off My Neck!  What I was taking as "playing" was his youthful, clumsy attempts at affection!  Oh, sure, Calbert is cute and all, but he shouldn't be nibbling around on my neck, stealing my tags for a souvenir!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>He deserved it!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/683091</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Jul 2010 07:28:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/683091</guid>
		<description>Yesterday Oldest Lad went whoring around at the Shelter.  Oh, this was truly just &quot;whoring around,&quot;  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday Oldest Lad went whoring around at the Shelter.  Oh, this was truly just "whoring around," too.  Normally, Oldest Lad volunteers at the Shelter to get in his Required Volunteer Hours to keep his University Scholarship.  As University is on Summer Break, Oldest Lad just volunteered because he "missed the dogs" and wanted to spend time with them!

To add insult to injury, Oldest Lad took Other Woman with him!  While at the Shelter, Oldest Lad made an Adoption!  Not the kind of adoption one wants to make!  Oldest Lad acquired a TICK.

Oldest Lad arrived home last night and began waving a zip top plastic bag at Mom.  Mom was on the phone with her Sister.  Mom NEVER gets to talk in peace.  It is all part of the Family's plot to subdue and repress Mom.  Anyway, inside the bag, was a second zip top plastic bag.  Inside was crawling around:  The TICK.

Other Woman's Mother had removed The Tick (not to be confused with "The Tick" the infamous and hilarious Cartoon character from the 1990s) from Oldest Lad's Leg.  Other Woman's Mother told Oldest Lad to "Save" The Tick inside the freezer for a few weeks to see if Oldest Lad develops any odd symptoms.  Then Oldest Lad will still have "the evidence."

Of course, I, Pennie, have been forced to watch enough of those ghastly TV shows such as "Mystery Diagnosis" or "Medical Incredible," to know that it ALWAYS end up that the Mysterious Disease that goes undiagnosed for years ALWAYS ends up being a tick borne illness such as Lyme Disease or Babesiosis.  The initial test for Lyme disease is either positive or negative but no one believes that despite the person's history of hiking in tick-infested tall grasses, the doctors can't possibly believe the person got bit by a tick.

But I digress.

Anyhoodles, Oldest Lad proceeded to place his Double-Bagged Tick Evidence in the Basement Freezer for Tick Euthanasia and Preservation.

Here is where I, Pennie, have a problem (besides my initial problem with the "whoring around with other dogs.")

Why does The Tick deserve Humane Euthanasia?  Doesn't The Tick that Bit MY Oldest Lad, deserve to just be squashed like the bug that it is?!

Long ago (check my pre-Mulligan predecessor Tyler's diary pages) Oldest Lad had the Infamous Science Fair Goldfish.  Oldest Lad learned, from Mom forcing him to read the book about caring for Goldfish, that the humane way to dispose of an "ailing" Goldfish is not to simply flush it down the Porcelain Water Bowl.  No.  Goldfish are cold-blooded, and if a Goldfish is "ailing" then one should bag it and freeze it.  This gradually lowers the Goldfish body temperature and said ailing Goldfish gradually slows down it's metabolism until it succumbs, without much thought, if Goldfish do indeed have thought.

Fine.  But I still think that TICKs should be squashed like Bugs!

Besides, if Oldest Lad gets Lyme Disease or Babesiosis, then assuredly he deserves it for spending the afternoon at the Shelter instead of spending the afternoon with ME, Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Irritated.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682943</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 22 Jul 2010 09:01:11 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682943</guid>
		<description>I have been quite irritated at Mom.  The last several days; well into last week, Mom has been back a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been quite irritated at Mom.  The last several days; well into last week, Mom has been back and forth "transporting."  I, Pennie, am supposed to be going along.  It's just what I do.  Mom "claims" that I have not been able to go along because "it is too hot."  

I could not go to Rocket Camp to drop off and pick up Little Lad every day because "it was too hot" and I could not "sit in the car."

Why couldn't I go in to Rocket Camp?  I went to Brain Camp, didn't I?  Certainly after all the boring TV I watch with the pawrents I am well qualified for Rocket Camp! I know all about Werner von Braun and Oppenheimer, and all the Space Missions, and such.

Friday evening I had just had enough and I left Mom some nice presents in the hallway and the Lad's bedroom.  Just to get my point across.

Now this week I can't go with Mom to drop Little Lad off at "Funology" class.  Mom has that same lame excuse:  "it is too hot."  Then she comes up with some other lame excuse that she is still letting me go along on as many "other trips as possible," that don't require me to have to stay in the car and "cook my brain."

I left some other presents for her on Monday.

Last night was the Ultimate.  Mom's Oldest Brother and his Family stopped by the house on their way to their vacation.  Oh, sure, I was adored, and fawned upon, but did I get invited out to dinner?  No.  So, while everyone was in the backyard talking, I found something gross to roll in.  Yep.  Right then while Mom's Oldest Brother's Family was there.  Mom was too embarrassed to say anything in front of them.  She didn't want to "scold" me in front of them.

Mom was so mad at me that as soon as the visitors left she called Oldest Lad and requested HE come home and give me a bath; she wanted nothing to do with me.
Heh, Heh, I think I have gotten my point across.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>But what about the song???</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682265</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 18 Jul 2010 07:31:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682265</guid>
		<description>On July 12th, the YMCA changed it's name.  Yep, the YMCA is now &quot;the Y.&quot;

Why? (or Y???)

First  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On July 12th, the YMCA changed it's name.  Yep, the YMCA is now "the Y."

Why? (or Y???)

First off, any dog must ask what does this do to "The Village People" and that famous "YMCA" song?  Sorry pups, but that song is just not going to be as fun if it is going to just be "Y Y Y Y" with just arms above the head in a "Y" shape!  NO!  It was the "M" and "C" and "A" that added to the fun and excitement of the song!

Were "The Village People" even consulted about the change from YMCA to "the Y?"

But I digress.

Most importantly to me, is, will I finally be allowed membership at the Y? 

The following is a quote from the National YMCA home page:

"Today, across the United States, Ys are making a difference in three key areas of focus:

Youth Development: Nurturing the potential of every child and teen
Healthy Living: Improving the nation’s health and well-being
Social Responsibility: Giving back and providing support to our neighbors"

I can easily see how I, Pennie, fit into all THREE of these categories!  Besides, it is decidedly unfair that 1.  I can not visit Oldest Lad at work and 2.  I can not go play with The Family when they go to the Y.

For Dog's sake, if the Y has to ruin "The YMCA" song, then dogs should at least be allowed to go to the Y!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What is a Pen Pup to think?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682024</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 16 Jul 2010 13:00:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/682024</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am seldom at a loss for words.  Yet today I find myself perplexed, confused, put out, tou ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am seldom at a loss for words.  Yet today I find myself perplexed, confused, put out, touched, and I am just not sure what to do.

Yesterday Other Woman's Cat crossed the bridge.  Of course I am saddened that her cat crossed the bridge and I am sorry that Other Woman is upset.  Yes, despite my competition with Other Woman for the affection of Oldest Lad, I, Pennie, am not lacking in compassion.

However, today finds Oldest Lad out in the Shop crafting a Cat Casket.  Yes.  Apparently Other Woman was not able to find a suitable "box" at the craft store and so she seized upon the idea that perhaps Oldest Lad could build one using wood and the innumerable tools available in Dad's Second Garage aka Male Hideout aka Shop.

I, Pennie, am normally right out in the Shop whenever ANY activity is going on there.  I love the sound of the hammer, the circular saw, the dremel tool, and of course I must supervise ALL projects.

Today?  No.  What should I do?  As a dog, can I espouse the construction of a Cat Casket?  As a frenemy of Other Woman, should I be condoning this Cat Casket Project or should I view this as yet one more ploy to draw Oldest Lad away from me, Pennie?

I just do not know what to think.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Double Standard!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/681564</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:56:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/681564</guid>
		<description>Sometimes Mom eats in bed.  She only eats in bed when she has a migraine and she has a snack.  I  sh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sometimes Mom eats in bed.  She only eats in bed when she has a migraine and she has a snack.  I  share this snack with her, gently encouraging her to eat; after all I am NURSE Pennie, and Mom must eat to keep up my strength.

Anyhoodles, last night after Mom went to bed, Dad arrived upstairs and it was discovered that an egregious oversight had occurred:  I, Pennie had not had my Evening Kibble.  Mom was mortified.  Mom was out of the house most of the day, and as usual, when she leaves, the whole place turns to chaos!

Dad quickly went downstairs to set the situation to rights.  Only he brought my Kibble UP and put it the bowl ON the bed!

Wow!  Kibble in bed!

Mom was NOT amused.

Despite my claims that I had a bit of a headache from not being fed since the early morning hours, Mom made it clear that there was to be NO Kibble on or in the bed.

Just when I feel that Mom and I have been developing a close relationship she pulls this kind of double standard.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dad Dribbled, Pennie blamed.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680537</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 6 Jul 2010 09:48:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680537</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am outraged.  Anyone reading my last few diary entries knows that this has been a most st ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am outraged.  Anyone reading my last few diary entries knows that this has been a most stressful weekend.  I certainly would NOT consider this past long weekend a "Holiday."

This morning Mom went upstairs and her feet got wet.  Then at the top of the steps, the carpet was dribbled with wetness.

Of course, blame the poor Shelter Dog first!  Out I went, into the Tristate Heat Emergency; Mom certain that I, Pennie must have piddled.  Actually, Mom was rather suspicious that the spot did NOT look like Pennie Piddle. In fact, she even sniffed the spot, furthering suspicions that perhaps it was a Dribble and not a Piddle.

I was forced to suffer outside, in the HEAT, for well over 667 seconds while Mom waited for Dad to get off the phone (he claimed he was "on a business call.")  Funny how Dad is always "On a business call" when he is needed.  I'll move his home office outside into that Heat Emergency all by myself if he claims anymore of this "Business Call" nonsense.

Yes, I, Pennie, was exonerated.  Dad Dribbled!  Dad Dribbled the carpet cleaner bucket as he carried it downstairs, leaving a piddle-shaped puddle at the top of the steps and dribble-drips on the steps.

This Heat is going to make it a long week after the Explosive weekend.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What was the point of Blowing Up Suburbia?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680361</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Jul 2010 08:41:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680361</guid>
		<description>Last night as I lay shaking, despite the mind-numbing drugs and Mom never leaving my side, I wondere ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night as I lay shaking, despite the mind-numbing drugs and Mom never leaving my side, I wondered, yes I wondered, what does the Ill-fated attempt to Blow Up Suburbia with illegal fireworks have to do with celebrating Independence?

The words of "The Star Spangled Banner," quilled by Francis Scott Key at the end of the War of 1812 came to my mind:

"Oh! say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh! say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

Certainly last night rockets of many colors burst through the air:  red, purple, green, white, blue; and rockets designed just to make noise.  Then of course the bombs.  Smoke bombs.  Firecrackers.  M-80s, bottle rockets.  As most of the rockets and bombs that the Americans and the British used during the Battle of Fort McHenry are no longer readily available, Suburbanites have (thankfully) headed to the local Firework mega-mart for cheaper versions.

Is this song the impetus for Suburbanites annual attempt to blow up their own homes, self-amputate their appendages, and torture little doggies?

Or perhaps I am just hung over.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Don't bother knockin'</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680230</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 4 Jul 2010 11:26:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/680230</guid>
		<description>Don't bother knockin'.  I'm home, but, well,I keep listening to the Pink Floyd &quot;The Wall&quot; album.  Th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Don't bother knockin'.  I'm home, but, well,I keep listening to the Pink Floyd "The Wall" album.  Then I fall asleep with my eyes open.  I have stumbled both UP and DOWN the stairs a few times.

Suburbia has been under attack since some time Saturday with it's annual tradition of attempting to burn itself down, self-amputate appendages, and induce mayhem and/or panic upon the Dogs of Suburbia.

Ohio SELLS fireworks, however it is Not legal to USE fireworks in Ohio.  Apparently all this noise drifts over from Kentucky OR these law-abiding Ohioans have duly signed the waiver to only set off firworks OUTSIDE of OHIO but were LYING.  

Last time I checked; the house three doors down had NOT suddenly relocated to Kentucky or Indiana, so I have a deep seated suspicion that those Suburbanites may not have signed their Firework Waiver in Good Faith.

Hmm.  Perhaps with all those fireworks that the house three doors down is setting off, that family may soon be blowing up AND landing in Kentucky or Indiana.  A dog can only hope.

Anyhoodles, Mom said "It's just a little pinprick," I mean she said "it's just a little cheese wad," and next thing I knew I was feeling just fine about the fireworks and everything else.

Nighty Night!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>University Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/679932</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 2 Jul 2010 10:04:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/679932</guid>
		<description>Wow!  This week sure has been intellectually stimulating!  On Monday I sneaked into Brain Camp, abso ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Wow!  This week sure has been intellectually stimulating!  On Monday I sneaked into Brain Camp, absorbing as much intelligence as I could before I was corraled and Mom hastily exited me out of there.

Then on Thursday night I went down to the University Section with Oldest Lad.  Oldest Lad was visiting his "Structure."  Mom and Dad call it a "Structure" because they think calling it a "House" is an insult to houses everywhere.  Mom does admit that it is a vast improvement over the "structure" she lived in during her University Days, considering Oldest Lad's "Structure" has smoke detectors, security alarms and doors that actually lock.  Mom and Dad also supplied the "Structure" with a fire extinguisher and an emergency escape ladder.

Anyhoodles, the first time I went down to Oldest Lad's Structure, there was a party going on.  I was nervous and upset and wanted to go home!  I was certain that some stray dog was going to show up at the party and slip a "Roofie," that notorious date rape drug, into my water bowl, and then have his way with me!  Dad had to drive down to the University and bring me home.  I felt humiliated.

THIS time, there was no party going on, and I thoroughly enjoyed "hanging" with the University Men.  Some of Oldest Lad's housemates are "on Coop" and are living in the Structure thoughtout the summer.  I inspected all their rooms (their Mother's would NOT approve) and I was lavished with attention.

Long past midnight I returned home with Oldest Lad.  Dad decided not to check my breath or my eyes (heh, heh, I got that past him) and I collapsed exhausted into bed and slept until well past noon!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Brain Camp</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/679308</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:41:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/679308</guid>
		<description>Do I seem smarter?
I went to Brain Camp today!  I ran and jumped in the van as Mom headed off to pi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Do I seem smarter?
I went to Brain Camp today!  I ran and jumped in the van as Mom headed off to pick Little Lad up from his Brain Camp session.  Mom was a few minutes early, of course, she did not want the instructors to think that Little Lad's Mom was Incompetent.  

It is a very steamy day in Suburbia today, so Mom had to leave the van windows ALL the way open, or surely MY Brain would cook in just a matter of minutes.

As soon as the door to Brain Camp opened up and Little Lad and the other Little Brains came walking out, I jumped out the open Driver's window and ran right into Brain Camp!

I ran all over that Brain Camp classroom, absorbing as much intelligence as I could before Mom could catch me.  Then I slipped my head out of my collar when she grabbed me, and ran around some more, absorbing more vocabulary and math skills.

For a Standard American Brown Dog, I, Pennie, am no fool, and now I have even attended Brain Camp!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Violated! and Violation!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/678539</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010 07:08:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/678539</guid>
		<description>Yesterday I was forced to go to the Vet for my yearly check-up.  As usual I was Violated.

I have  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday I was forced to go to the Vet for my yearly check-up.  As usual I was Violated.

I have come to accept that Vet visits are needed and one must accept that immunizations are better than Distemper or Rabies, and of course if one has an injury or other disease, a Vet is the first one to go to.

But Vets are still, well, I hesitate to call them perverts, but, I have PROOF, yes PROOF, that Vets just start out on the wrong track!  Cousin#6 is at University (home for the summer right now) studying Large Animal Medicine; in other words, Cousin#6 wants to be a VET!  Cousin#6 has taken great joy in bragging all about "tail docking" little piggies, and "ear-docking" little piggies, and even Neutering little lambies!

"shudder"

Cousin#6, as just a toddler, used to chew on Mom's Sister's Glass and Brass Coffee Table.  To this day there are gnaw marks from Cousin#6 all over the Brass Legs of that Coffee Table.  The Family should have known right then that Cousin#6 was heading down the track to Violate Little Piggies!

I have made it clear that Cousin#6 is NOT welcome here.  Her sisters, Cousin#4 and Cousin#8, are welcome always.

But I digress.

In addition to being ViolatED, there was a complete ViolaTION of my First Amendment Rights!

I, Pennie, was MUZZLED!  Oh, I had accepted my fate of bum-poking and injections, but what about my Right to Free Speech to Compain About IT!

What was that Vet so afraid that I was going to say that I was muzzled, my Rights taken away, forced into silence like a Dog living in some Dictatorship Country?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Plumber Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/678056</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Jun 2010 13:11:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/678056</guid>
		<description>Yesterday the Contractor who is renovating Mom and Dad's bathroom/bedroom/closet was working on inst ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday the Contractor who is renovating Mom and Dad's bathroom/bedroom/closet was working on installing the toilet.

First off, I have been most upset about being excluded from this renovation project.  Normally when anyone works on a project, I am Pennie on the Spot, Supervisor Pennie; keeping my nose and paws on the job to make sure it gets done correctly.  

Yesterday, however, the Contractor was by himself, and Dad was also working in the rooms, on the electrical outlets, so I insisted on being Supervisor Pennie.  These Contractors have been working for some odd weeks with no accidents, but Dad; well, I just don't trust him to work without my oversight.

Mr. Contractor, who always calls me "Pooch," was applying grout to the base of the new toilet.  He was all huddled around the bottom of the toilet, shoving grout into the grout lines of the tile.

I walked over and began to lick him in the face.

Dad was a bit worried, for Mr. Contractor had been a little upset a bit previously.  The toilet base was in, but the toilet tank had arrived cracked, and a new toilet tank now needed to be ordered, putting off completing the toilet part of the job.

Dad was a bit worried as he saw me run over and start licking Mr. Contractor in the face, as Mr. Contractor hugged the toilet base, but Mr. Contractor laughed and seemed happy after that.

That just proves that I am needed as Supervisor Pennie on EVERY job.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Domesticated Partner</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/677327</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Jun 2010 07:34:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/677327</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad asked me if I was going to visit him at work today.  Sadly, I admitted that I have no &quot;Y&quot; ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad asked me if I was going to visit him at work today.  Sadly, I admitted that I have no "Y" Pass.

The family's insurance has added "Domestic Partner" benefits, I am quite pleased to note.

But what about me?  Shouldn't I get "Domesticated Partner" Status?  Then I could get a "Y" Pass and go visit Oldest Lad at work.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kitteh Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/677034</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:29:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/677034</guid>
		<description>The Kitteh was still on the back porch when I woke up this morning.  Now, I certainly have accepted  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Kitteh was still on the back porch when I woke up this morning.  Now, I certainly have accepted Mom and Dad allowing Dogs, let me repeat: DOGS, to stay on the back porch, or even in the house, while they await their human.  It is quite a different story for me to play Hostess to some Feline.  The Kitteh could not come inside the house because Middle Lad is Cat-allergic.

Mom, Little Lad, and Oldest Lad headed off to Church this morning, leaving the non-Church goers at home.

That left Me, Pennie, in charge of Dad and Wee Lass.  Most Sunday mornings I am in charge of Wee Lass and Dad and it leaves me exhausted!

THIS Sunday morning Wee Lass and I spent most of the morning flinging ourselves at the sliding glass doors leading out to the back porch in vain attempts to get at The Kitteh.  Wee Lass and I rarely see eye to eye, but we shared a remarkable obsession with that Kitteh.

Mom had left stern warnings:  Do not let Pennie out in the back yard by herself.

No one listened to Mom.  No one ever does, but Mom still speaks, for some strange reason.

By the afternoon my Kitteh Obsession had reached Fever Pitch.

Mom was in the front yard, trimming the bushes with the hedge trimmers, and attempting to NOT trim the power cord.  (Mom has trimmed many a power cord while trimming bushes.  It's best to not let Mom use ANY Power Tools, but unfortunately she is the only one in the family who can do a semi-decent job trimming bushes.)

Dad and Middle Lad were doing yard work in the back yard.  I was easily able to convince Dad and Middle Lad to let me out in the back yard.  They are so gullible!

I just wanted a taste, I mean I just wanted to say "hello" to that Kitteh.  I could stand it no more.  I ran straight IN through the screen of the back porch.  The Kitteh ran straight OUT through the screen of the back porch.

One large Pennie-sized hole going "In."  One small Kitteh-sized hole going "Out."  Dad will have some re-screening to add to his project list.

Everyone was quickly summoned to search for the now Stray, Stray Kitteh.  Dad searched and searched and found a:  Stray Dog.

The Stray Dog had it's collar on, AND it's Invisible Fence collar.  The family was called and the Stray Dog was quickly re-united with it's family.

Fortunately Oldest Lad and Other Woman were able to find the Stray Kitteh. Despite Other Woman's Father forbidding her from bring the Kitteh to her house, it was decided that perhaps the Kitteh might be safer there, and Other Woman would just have to bear up under her Father's Wrath.

I still did not get my taste, I mean get to say "hello" to that Kitteh.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kittie Conundrum</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676865</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:17:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676865</guid>
		<description>Did I not in my most previous diary post mention that Other Woman and I were becoming friends?

Ta ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Did I not in my most previous diary post mention that Other Woman and I were becoming friends?

Take that all back.

There is a 

CAT

on my back porch.

Oh, fine, it's not like my back porch isn't the local Kibble Kitchen for stray dogs but CATS?

Middle Lad is allergic to cats.  The kittie can not come inside the house.

I WANT THAT CAT.

For what, I am not sure.  I may not have good intentions for that Kittie.

All I know is that I am one unhappy dog, and I want that kittie to be one unhappy kittie.

*Supposedly* this is only a temporary situation as Other Woman rescued this Kittie at the YMCA.  She can't keep it at her house because, conveniently, her back porch has no doors, windows, or screens, currently.

I am going to make this a loooong weekend.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mom mad at me, Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676854</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 Jun 2010 13:44:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676854</guid>
		<description>Mom is mad at me.
Oldest Lad is now home from University to spend his hours yelling at young childr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is mad at me.
Oldest Lad is now home from University to spend his hours yelling at young children to "WALK on the Pool Deck!" and to swing his whistle (the patented "guard whistle wrap maneuver") and to attempt to teach young suburanites not to drown themselves.  As an aside, that is just another way that dogs are superior to humans:  dogs, even pups, can instinctually SWIM, while humans must be taught to keep themselves afloat.

Anyhoodles, I am most happy to have Oldest Lad home.  I am even happy to see Other Woman, who is usually with Oldest Lad.  I have even spent a few evenings sitting in Other Woman's lap, watching a movie.

I have been ignoring Mom.  Not just ignoring Mom but, well, making it clear, that despite Mom spending overwhelming amounts of time and energy with Me, Pennie, since September, my heart belongs to Oldest Lad.

Of course I still expect Mom to lavish attention upon me when Oldest Lad is at work or otherwise occupied.  I see no problem with this.  To me, this seems a fine arrangement.  I get Mom to do my bidding while Oldest Lad is at University, and now at work, and then when Oldest Lad is HOME, Mom can just go off and entertain herself.

I just don't understand Mom's anger.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Belligerent Beagle</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676230</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 8 Jun 2010 12:12:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676230</guid>
		<description>The other night I took my family out for what I hoped would be a pleasant walk, as the weather had s ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The other night I took my family out for what I hoped would be a pleasant walk, as the weather had suddenly broken to be much cooler and less humid, after a string of hot, humid days.  Along the way, we knocked on the door of some neighbors, Shamu and Calbert, who decided their humans also needed some exercise.  Calbert has only been with his family for about one week.  He is about three months old. At this point it is unknown which dog breeds he represents for at the moment he looks remarkably like a young Polar Bear.

All the dogs of Suburbia must have decided to exercise their humans that night, for we could hardly travel half a block without running into another dog, or pack of dogs and their families.  Eventually we found ourselves at the end of the street, about half a mile from home, in the yard of Maizy, the Beagle.

Maizy the Beagle was tethered out in her front yard while her Dad mowed the grass.  She was quite excited to see us, and everyone just HAD to stop and chat as Maizy's human sister was recently married and humans do like to go on and on and on about such things.

At first everything seemed to go quite well.  Then, in her excitement, Maizie pulled her tether completely out of the ground!  It was a wooden stake, and as Maizy pulled it from the ground, the whole rope and the wooden stake wrapped around Mom's ankles, like some Dog Martial Arts Weapon.  Then Maizy ran off, unwrapping the stake and rope just as quickly.  Dad, with his usual lack of sensitivity and observation, paid no attention to Mom's sudden and complete agony.

Mom did not want to "cause a scene," so she chose to suffer in silence over her now bruised and battered ankles.

As Mom silently cursed her pain, Maizy suddenly realized that I, Pennie, was bigger than a Beagle, even a Martial Arts Expert Beagle, and decided to attack Me, Pennie.  Maizy's Dad explained that Maizy was "not fond" of dogs bigger than herself after a negative encounter with a large dog at the local park.

Soon there was a Belligerent Beagle gnashing and growling, and Dad pulling me, Pennie, and Dad finally got the hint that perhaps it was time to leave.

Mom walked home by herself, in the hopes of finding some ice to place about her ankles, which were rapidly turning black and blue.

Shamu, Calbert, and I were able to corral the rest of the pack into completing the walk with no further problems.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Breaking Potty News!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676228</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 8 Jun 2010 12:03:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/676228</guid>
		<description>The Potty Patch is now available at certain Walgreen Stores! ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Potty Patch is now available at certain Walgreen Stores!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sponge Bath</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/674496</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 30 May 2010 13:15:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/674496</guid>
		<description>On Saturday Mom and Dad took Me and Wee Lass to the park.  It was rather hot, but we all needed to g ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Saturday Mom and Dad took Me and Wee Lass to the park.  It was rather hot, but we all needed to get out of the house.  After chasing the tennis ball around the playground, and jumping up and down the jungle gym, I was one tired pup.  Right at the end of the slide I quickly dug a big, fresh hole in the dirt.  In seconds flat I had a nice cool place to lay down.  Mom thought it was quite clever.  Until she noticed the worms.  Seems I, Pennie, was not at all bothered that I had dug up a dirt hole and was now laying in a bunch of wiggling, crawling, worms.

Mom was grossed out.

When we went back to the car, Mom got out Baby Wipes from her ever-present Baby Wipe Stash, and gave me a Wipe Down.  Right there in the parking lot!  How embarassing!

That night, before bed, Mom was laying next to me on the couch. She suddenly recalled the Worms.

Mom got out more Baby Wipes and, as I lay next to her, began to Sponge Bath me, Pennie, with Baby Wipes, while I lay next to her.  At first I was quite irritated.  Then I slowly relaxed, and drifted off, and, admittedly, enjoyed it.  Mom had to turn me over to do the other side, and I let her do that, and quickly returned to relaxed Pennie mode as Mom slowly wiped my coat down.

Hey!  It sure beat a bath in the driveway with the garden hose!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hunger in the Hamptons</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/673752</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 26 May 2010 13:22:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/673752</guid>
		<description>Today I was sharing a lunch of corn tortillas with melted cheddar cheese, with Mom.  She and I were  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I was sharing a lunch of corn tortillas with melted cheddar cheese, with Mom.  She and I were watching "The Barefoot Contessa" at the same time.  The "Barefoot Contessa" is Ina Garten, and she has her own TV show on The Food Network.  Todays fare is actually inconsequential; it is actually the guests that were the most important.

"The Barefoot Contessa" looks wondrously plump and pleasant looking, one who any dog would think would prepare delicious food AND provide a luxurious lap to snuggle in, unlike some of those suspiciously skinny cooks on The Food Network.  Indeed, there is one suspiciously skinny cook whom Mom is certain that the camera is always angling on the only voluptuous body parts upon her.  After "The Barefoot Contessa" was done cooking her guests arrive:  A grown up man, a grown up woman, two teenage boys, and TWO DOGS.

Oh, I was so excited to think what exquisite serving bowl would "The Barefoot Contessa" use to serve those dogs their gourmet brunch?  Would they be expected to use cloth napkins to pat their jowls?

This is what the dogs did:  lay under the exquisitely adorned table and look bored.

The dogs were not shown being given even one crumb, not one teensy crumb of gourmet brunch food.

In fact, the dogs actually looked DRUGGED.

I suppose that I can not leave out the possibility that the dogs were allowed to CLEAN UP after this most delicious gourmet brunch, but no indication of this was at all given.  From all accounts it looked like the dogs were left to Hunger in the Hamptoms, while their family feasted on gourmet fare.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Basic Mathematics.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/673029</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 22 May 2010 07:49:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/673029</guid>
		<description>I thought that Mom was done whoring around with Stray Dogs.  We have not seen a Stray Dog since BamB ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I thought that Mom was done whoring around with Stray Dogs.  We have not seen a Stray Dog since BamBam was here, way back in March.  I hoped that perhaps another Stray Dog Kibble Kitchen had opened up, perhaps serving better food, and I was no longer going to be forced to play Hostess.

Well.  I was wrong.  Two Strays in just three days!

I shall start with the second because that was just an innocent matter.  Mom was driving up the street.  A Fierce Thunderstorm was brewing and indeed some rain had already fallen.  A little terrier sort was prancing down the street and then ran right in front of Mom's car!  Mom stopped, and fortunately the car coming from the other direction stopped as well.  Mom scooped up the little dog.  It still had it's Electronic Collar on!  Unfortunately, no tags, but Mom was pretty sure who it belonged to, and was quickly able to reunite it with it's family.  The little dog had become frightened due to the impending storm and ignored the "SHOCK!" to run up the street, while the family was unloading groceries from the car, so they did not notice the escapee.

As for Wednesday's Stray; Mom noticed a Corgi roaming about.  It was quite an elusive Corgi, insistent upon standing still until Mom was just ready to make a grab for him and then dashing off.  Mom finally enlisted Dad's help.  Mom made a grab for the Corgi and he dashed off, only Dad stood nearby to grab him while the Corgi made his run.

The Corgi did indeed have a collar with tags and Mom called the number to inquire if "they were missing a dog."  The woman answering the phone had NOT noticed she was missing a dog but immediately came to retrieve her Corgi.

Now, I, Pennie, do realize that many Pure Bred Dogs do look the same.  (Is this Species Profiling?)  Anyway, this woman said that she had Four Corgies (or is that Corgii?) and that what with having four and all had simply not noticed that one of them was gone.

Eh, what?

A Shetland Sheepdog, a Collie, Great Pyrenees or any Herding Dog can keep track of an entire FLOCK of sheep or alpaca, or cows. (Although the group name might change.)  I am certainly NOT going to go so far as to say that ALL sheep look the same.   No, that would be Species Profiling.  However, I am certain that with 20, 30, or more Sheep bleating around, a Shetland Sheepdog does NOT have time to think, OK I have the sheep with the bent ear, the sheep with the freckles, the sheep with the black patch around the eye, etc.  No, the Shetland Sheep Dog (or the Collie, or Great Pyrenees, or whatever) keeps track of a general "quantity" of sheep.

So, this woman, with only Four Corgii, could not keep track of only FOUR?  and not realize ONE was missing?

Anyhoodles, it is obvious that the Kibble Kitchen is back in business.  At least my reputation was not on the line as neither of these dogs "slept over."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Don't knock it until you've tried it!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672603</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 19 May 2010 12:54:19 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672603</guid>
		<description>My Mom receives a daily tip in her email from Dogster.  As Nannie Pennie, I read ALL of Mom's email. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Mom receives a daily tip in her email from Dogster.  As Nannie Pennie, I read ALL of Mom's email.  Dad may trust Mom enough to not read her personal email; indeed Dad doesn't monitor Mom's every activity, but simply stated:  I, Pennie, don't trust Mom.  It is my duty to Monitor Mom, even down to reading her email and Facebook.  I don't always approve.

Today, I was most upset about an email TIP, yes, a supposed TIP from Dogster.  Whose side is Dogster on, anyway?  The dogs?  That's what I always thought, but apparently that is NOT the case.

Todays email topic:  Coprophagia

This is a partial excert from the Dogster email:

"While kids aren't always careful about what they put in their mouths, they can't hold a candle to a dog that suffers from coprophagia. Simply put, this is the nasty canine practice of eating one's own excrement."

Nasty practice?

What's wrong with eating poop?

Has the person writing this article ever had a delicious Poopsicle, that icy treat found only in a winter yard?

What about a Diaper Delite?
Each Diaper Delite has a different moist, creamy, or perhaps chewy, center.  A dog never knows what flavor will be found inside a Diaper Delite. It's always an exciting surprise.

What about just re-enjoying a delicious previous meal?

I challenge whoever wrote this article, blantantly critical of Dogs, indeed blantantly accusatory, of this:  Don't knock it until you've tried it!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Moody Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672401</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 18 May 2010 06:14:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672401</guid>
		<description>I have been most upset the last week or so about the Bathroom/Bedroom Remodel.  First Mom and Dad co ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been most upset the last week or so about the Bathroom/Bedroom Remodel.  First Mom and Dad completely disassembled the bedroom and the bathroom and moved their living quarters down to the basement.  Second, every morning, a few moments past eight, a large man opens the door, with his OWN KEY, that Dad gave him, and proceeds upstairs to begin work on the Bathroom/Bedroom.  Horrible, evil, malicious sounds eminate from upstairs.  The entire household shakes.

I am unable to NAP properly during the day.

At each noise my beautiful bi-fold ears flinch.  One ear flinches per sound.  Then the other bi-fold ear flinches at the next sound.  It gives me quite the muscular tension headache.

I have become Moody Pennie.

In the great James Bond Novels by the Author Ian Fleming, there is a character named Money Penny.   Anyone who has actually READ the Ian Fleming novels, knows that the Original James Bond is actually a Geek, a Nerd, not at all a Super Spy, Macho, Man of Charisma such as is played by Sean Connery or Daniel Craig.  Oh, it sickens me the way I must lick up the drool from around Mom when she watches Daniel Craig play the part of James Bond.  As if Daniel Craig, despite his thinning hair, would be interested in a over-weight, suburbanite mini-van driver. 

But I digress.

I, Pennie, have become not Money Pennie, but Moody Penny.  Unpleasant.  Unwilling to move over to allow another person to sit next to me.  The family doesn't quite know what to make of it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Further Futon Fits</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672254</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 May 2010 07:39:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672254</guid>
		<description>Last night Dad insisted on joining Mom and Me on the Futon.  Dad was out of town Wednesday throught  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Dad insisted on joining Mom and Me on the Futon.  Dad was out of town Wednesday throught Saturday nights and said he was in no mood for the couch last night, especially as he was going out of town once again.  Wednesday and Thursday night, while Mom and I were stuck on the Futon, Dad was LUXURIATING in at HOTEL.  By himself.  His OWN King Bed, TV Remote, and his OWN Bathroom.  No Contractors.  Dad drove straight down from Cleveland to Camping with Little Lad.  Friday and Saturday nights Dad shared a tent with Little Lad.  His own air mattress, sleeping bag, and a communal locker room.  Hmm.  Mom and I may have had the better deal Friday and Saturday.

Anyhoodles, Dad insisted on taking up well over half the double bed size Futon while Mom and I clung to the remainder.  I attempted to fit myself at the bottom while Mom attempted to sleep at the top of what little Futon Dad left for us.

Normally, I sleep with my head, or at least part of my body touching Mom.  Mom likes this.  Unlike Dad, Mom LOVES to have Pennie Parts touch her while she sleeps.

Except last night.  With what little Futon Dad left for us, it seemed that Mom just could not get her legs positioned around me.

Apparently Mom does not object to Pennie Parts touching her anywhere but one place:  the back of her knee.

First, my head was laying on the underside of Mom's knee.  Mom tried to stay comfortable, but just could not stand it.  Mom moved.  Then my whiskers were just brushing against the back of Mom's knee.  Mom moved.  Then at random moments my cold nose would brush up against the back of Mom's knee.

Dad finally got annoyed and left for the couch.  Score another night for Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Identity Theft!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672072</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 16 May 2010 07:57:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/672072</guid>
		<description>Yesterday, Oldest Lad bathed me, in the driveway.  Out there for all of Suburbia to see, me naked an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday, Oldest Lad bathed me, in the driveway.  Out there for all of Suburbia to see, me naked and embarrassed and shivering..  At least Oldest Lad wore shorts.  After the humiliating bath experience, Oldest Lad left my COLLAR, with ALL it's tags, just laying in the driveway.  Hours later Mom realized my collar was missing and fetched it.

I am sure it was too late.

I am sure My Identity Was Stolen.

My Collar Has/Had ALL my important Personal Information:  Rabies Tag Number.  County License Number.  League Adoption Number.  Home Again ID Number.  My Name, Phone Number and Address.

Oh, sure, the Collar appeared to be intact, with all the tags undisturbed, but I know better.  I have seen enough Identity Theft Commercials on TV to know that an Identity Theft could easily copy down all my information in a few minutes, while my Collar lay carelessly FLUNG, yes FLUNG, in the Driveway.

Oldest Lad is studying Criminal Justice at University.  He has already taken several "criminal classes," and one would think, yes one would think, he would know better than to leave all of my PERSONAL Information UNattended.

What will a Faux Pennie do with my information?  Will crimes be commited in my name? For dog's sake, will Animal Control come knocking at my door one day, accusing Me, Pennie, of running loose and leaving poop on the well-manicured lawns of Suburbia?

I suppose I really should blame Mom, for she is the one who forces me to wear all those tags, anyway.  In her fear that I should become LOST, she wants me to be able to show proper ID at all times.  Of course, she doesn't bother to Label the Lads, or the Wee Lass; I just don't think she would care as much if they were lost or stolen.

I shall be worried now for months that at the moment I least expect, Faux Pennie will wreak havoc.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Futon Fits</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670894</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 9 May 2010 14:48:43 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670894</guid>
		<description>Last night was the first night on The Futon.  I have been becoming more and more agitated as Mom and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night was the first night on The Futon.  I have been becoming more and more agitated as Mom and Dad have been deconstructing their bedroom and bathroom.  Mom stripped the bed, Dad took apart the bed, and then he moved all the furniture into the center of the room!  I may only be a DOG, but all the furniture in the center of the room just fits no rules of "feng shui."  Remodeling or not, can't some sense of design be kept?

Mom headed down to the basement and put sheets and blankets on the Futon.  Dad and I soon joined her.  Here's where it got a bit dicey.  I think the Futon rightly belongs to Me, Pennie.  Here's why:  I am the main user of the Futon.  Yes.  When Dad works out of his Basement Office, I Supervise him from my perch upon the Futon.  Oh, it may "look" like I am napping, but No, I supervise Dad, just staying out of the way because Dad's desk chair has wheels and Dad is prone to rolling over me.  Dad would never be able to support The Family without Me, Pennie, as his supervisor.

Anyhoodles, when Mom laid down on the Futon, I snuggled up.  Dad tried to hone in, but soon it just got too narrow and Dad got evicted to the couch; my plan all along.  Sometime in the middle of the night Mom woke up, freezing cold, and realizing that I had stolen all the blankets and pillows and made a nice Pennie Nest in the middle of the Futon.

Mom tried to get me to give back at least ONE blanket, but she rightfully realized that the Futon belongs to ME, Pennie.  She retrieved another blanket and formed herself around my little Pennie Nest, realizing that resistance was futile.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where is Dad going to sleep?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670476</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 7 May 2010 11:14:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670476</guid>
		<description>Mom is fixing up the Futon in the basement now, for the Remodeling Project.  Just like that famous m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is fixing up the Futon in the basement now, for the Remodeling Project.  Just like that famous movie with Tom Hanks, "The Money Pit," the Contractor has been saying he will be here in "two weeks," for oh, about the last month.  In theory, the Contractor is supposed to be here on Monday.  I, Pennie, will not hold my breath over the appearance of the Contractor on Monday.  And The Project is supposed to take, guess how long?  "Two Weeks."  It will take more, regardless, because after the Bathroom is remodeled, then Dad has to paint the closet and paint the bedroom.  Dad paints about as fast as if he is using a Q-tip, so the Basement will serve as a bedroom for a looooong time.

Anyhoodles, Mom unfolded the Futon and what size is it?  Double Bed Size.  I am used to sharing the Concrete Queen with Mom and Dad.  There is NO WAY all three of us are fitting on that Futon.  It is not only narrower, but shorter than the Concrete Queen.  (Incidentally, before the Stock Market Crash of 2008 sent Mom and Dad's savings back to 1995 levels, there were murmurs of "upgrading" the Concrete Queen to a "less Concrete" version.  Alas, I shall just have to be happy I am not sleeping on "Real" Concrete.  Or under concrete.)

So the question of the upcoming few days is:  Where is Dad going to sleep?  I am voting for Dad to get the Couch.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Overnight Weather and Hot Dogs</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670278</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 6 May 2010 05:22:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670278</guid>
		<description>Last night Mom and I were suddenly awoken by the alarm of the Weather Radio, followed by it's Weathe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Mom and I were suddenly awoken by the alarm of the Weather Radio, followed by it's Weather Warning Message.  Fortunately, only Quarter Size Hail was imminent, not Pennie size Hail.  Not that Pennie size hail would even have been a threat last night!  No, I was practically starving, weak from hunger and depression.

Oldest Lad stopped by last night after he worked a shift at the local YMCA. Now I am certainly always thrilled to see Oldest Lad and greeted him with my usual enthusiasm.  That is until he ate my dinner!  How rude!  How shocking!  How plain old mean!

Mom prepared seven hot dogs for dinner. For unknown reasons the brand of Hot Dog The Family favors is packaged seven to a pack.  Two hotdogs for Middle Lad.  Two for Little Lad.  Two for Dad.  One for Pennie.  Mom does not eat hot dogs, nor does Wee Lass.  Mom also made macaroni and cheese (The Cheesiest) and for herself, and any takers, rice and black eyed peas.  Strangely, Mom was the only one to eat any rice and black eyed peas.  Oh, and carrots.

Well, Oldest Lad waltzes in, and Dad immediately offers up Hot Dogs!  Dad sacrifices one of HIS Hot Dogs.  Fine.  AND MY HOT DOG. 

Oh, sure, Oldest Lad shared a few bites with me, but that was different.  That frankfurter practically had my name engraved upon it!  There was plenty of rice and black eyed peas in the pot for Oldest Lad to eat to satisfy his hunger. I had a Hot Dog reserved just for Me, Pennie.  And HE ate it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>ADOPT 2010 Contest</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670160</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 5 May 2010 11:05:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/670160</guid>
		<description>Well, I have to admit I am NOT fond of talking about my adoption.  It's a rather touchy subject.

 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, I have to admit I am NOT fond of talking about my adoption.  It's a rather touchy subject.

Mulligan was an overly intelligent, hard-headed brute, and as with so many of the "intelligentsia," rather difficult to get along with.  He was actually quite hospitable to dogs who came into The Mulligan Compound to play with him, but he was NOT good meeting dogs "on leash."

Mom and Oldest talked about getting a companion for Mulligan for well on a year. Yes, let me repeat this, THE ENTIRE FAMILY, including DAD, were IN on conversations that perhaps a companion for Mulligan was in the works.

As Mulligan could be, well difficult, Mom and Oldest Lad decided to do any dog-interviewing without the rest of the family so that other family members would be spared the agony of bonding with a dog, only to discover that Mulligan did not care for it.  One weekend Dad, Middle Lad and Little Lad were gone, so Mom and Oldest Lad visited the Shelter, without Mulligan, and picked out several "suitable" Interviewees, NOT including Me, Pennie.  Mom and Oldest Lad then brought Mulligan to the Shelter.  He HATED every potentiate.

Mom and Oldest Lad were quite dejected.  Then someone suggested ME, Pennie, for apparently I had not been "In" when Mom and Oldest Lad made their Initial Search.  Mom and Oldest Lad were not even given a "Room" to meet me, but rather met me in the Shelter Laundry; so certain was the Shelter that it was worthless to try to match Mulligan with another Dog.  Mom and Oldest Lad liked me at first glance.

Mulligan and I met.  Mulligan did NOT try to eat me.  Mulligan and I played and "seemed" to enjoy ourselves, so I was adopted!

That night Dad came home with Middle Lad and Little Lad.  He immediately walked into the house, right past me, and Mulligan, and did not notice there were TWO dogs.  Then it registered on his brain.  Dad threw a fit!  "How could you go out and adopt a dog without telling me!"  Uh, Mom, Oldest Lad, Middle Lad, and Little Lad, all claimed they distinctly remembered Family Discussions about Adding a Dog, and Dad was indeed PRESENT.  Dad refused to "bond" with me for at least two weeks, until my natural charm and beauty won him over.

Dad's displeasure at my presence was not helped by the fact that Mulligan and I got along quite well at the Shelter, but once home, it was a different story.  Outside we were fine, but in the house, it was two dogs ready to explode at a moment's notice.  Finally on Day Five, Mulligan and I REALLY GOT INTO IT.  Mom was hysterical.  Mulligan ended up with a ripped ear. It was a small tear, but enough to warrant a trip to the Emergency Clinic for Repair. Ever after Mulligan always claimed to feel "Phantom Pain" from his Missing Ear, for the doctor amputated a very small portion that was "just hanging there."  Mulligan could be overly dramatic at times, for he still had two perfectly intact, overly large ears.

The Good News was that after Mulligan and I had our Major Battle, we decided to get along.  I learned to "let" Mulligan think he was in charge, with his overly large brain; and Mulligan learned that I, Pennie, as a Female, was really in charge.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Space Time Bed Sharing</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/669610</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 2 May 2010 07:24:04 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/669610</guid>
		<description>This morning Dad told me to get him up in &quot;five minutes.&quot;  About an hour later, Dad woke up, and acc ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning Dad told me to get him up in "five minutes."  About an hour later, Dad woke up, and accused Me, Pennie, of not getting Dad up AND not knowing how to tell time!

Dad takes up a lot of SPACE on the Concrete Queen.  I, too was asleep, (but not touching Dad, we all know he hates that) taking up more SPACE, although a significantly LESS amount of SPACE than DAD.

According to Albert Einstein, Space and Time is Actually a Continuum, the Space/Time Continuum.

With Dad taking up some much SPACE, TIME was COMPRESSED, and can Dad not forgive ME, Pennie, for making a little miscalculation in my advanced mathematics about how much TIME, FIVE Minutes, now took?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Speed Dial Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/669316</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 30 Apr 2010 08:47:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/669316</guid>
		<description>Mom printed out a new phone numbers list for the Fridge.  I was a little worried:  there right at th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom printed out a new phone numbers list for the Fridge.  I was a little worried:  there right at the bottom, was GUNNAR's phone number.  Yep, that over-grown, shaggy, blue-eyed escape artist has his phone number listed on "The List."

Gunnar actually has not visited in a while.  He has apparently learned that two bowls of kibble a day, a nice fenced yard, daily walks, aren't all that bad, and his wander-lust has gone to couch-potato, hand me the remote and the dog biscuits.

That got me thinking.  Am I on "The List."  No, I was not listed on the Fridge List.  Hmm.  But then, no other individual family members were.  So I grabbed Mom's cell phone and looked at the Contact List.

There I am:  Pennie, Home Phone number and everything.

Whew, at least I know that if Mom is in an accident, AND actually has her cell phone, then the emergency responders know to call me, Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dog Talk</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668947</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 28 Apr 2010 08:45:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668947</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, can't Talk.   Oh, sure I BARK.  And I growl.  But I don't talk.

Mulligan TALKED.  He w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, can't Talk.   Oh, sure I BARK.  And I growl.  But I don't talk.

Mulligan TALKED.  He was quite the conversationalist.  When Mulligan was in the car, and the pawrents stopped at a Drive-Thru, there were times that Mulligan spoke into the speaker.  True.  The Order Person would then ask back "what was that?"  Mom was sure it was always a Triple Cheese-burger, no onions.  Mulligan also complained a lot.  Mom said it was a bit like having a constant two year old around.  Mulligan was always huffing at Mom, or clicking his teeth, or howling at her.  The advantage was of course, that if Mom got tired of Mulligan's Two-ish whinings, she could let him outside, or shut him in her room for a while with some dog treats.

Anyhoodles, I, Pennie, have come up with an alternative to Talking.  I look at Mom and I open my Mouth and close my Mouth, several times.  No sounds come out, but Mom knows I am talking to her.

For example:  Mom was laying on the couch and I wanted Mom to move over a bit to make room for Me, Pennie.  I looked at Mom, then opened and shut my mouth several times.  Mom moved right over for me.

I am not sure if I will ever "Talk" as that seems to be something a dog either has or doesn't have, but I do communicate.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Bed Sore Paw Wars</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668706</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 26 Apr 2010 19:27:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668706</guid>
		<description>Sadly, the Bed Wars continue between Dad and Me.  Really, one can only blame Dad's selfish upbringin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sadly, the Bed Wars continue between Dad and Me.  Really, one can only blame Dad's selfish upbringing.  As I have expounded upon many times, Dad was one of but two in his litter.  As such he had:  his own bedroom, his own TV, his own toys.  Mom was the runt of six in her Mom's litter of pups, and Mom did not have her own bedroom until half the pups had moved out.  She did not have her own TV until, actually she has never had her own TV.

I, Pennie, am the only DOG, currently, but of course there are multiple siblings here to force me to share (and annoy.)  Dad continues to insist that No Dog Part Touch Him While He Sleeps.

Mom LOVES to have Pennie Parts touch her while she sleeps!  She loves MY Snoring and I, Pennie, have never been evicted to the couch due to snoring, unlike Dad, who faces Snoring Evictions on a regular basis.

Anyhoodles, I have been nursing a Sore Paw.  I was certain I faced losing my paw for good.  As I rode in the car with Mom on an errand, Mom noticed what looked like blood on the seat of the mini-van.  Talk about Driving Distracted!  I thought for sure that before I had the chance to bleed to death I would be in a car accident!  While Mom drove, she kept looking over at Me, Pennie, to try to determine what was wrong.  Eyes on the Road, Woman!

I had somehow torn a chunk off of the Carpal Paw Pad, which is that top Paw Pad.  Only the chunk wasn't all the way torn off, it was just hanging there, and oozing blood.  

Mom was beset with worry, as she always is over anything wrong with Me, Pennie.  Mom barely flinches if one of the lad's breaks an arm or needs stitches, but Me?  A bit of blood and the woman is hysterical.

I licked and licked and worked and worked at the Carpal Pad all night.  Loud Slurps. Constant postion changes.   IN BED.  I was laying at Mom's feet and by the middle of the night she could feel a big wet spot through the comforter, two blankets, and the sheet, just from me licking at the Carpal Pad.

Dad was NOT amused.  Dad wanted to Evict ME in my hour of need!  Dad did not care if I OOZED TO DEATH!  I even fell out of bed once during the night!

Mom finally convinced me to lay cuddled by her and she forcibly held my head so I could not lick anymore.  I was so exhausted from all the licking that I settled down and slept.

In the morning Mom realized I had somehow licked off "The Chunk" and was feeling a lot better without that hanging off of me.  I was still oozing but was so tired from licking my paw all night that I moped about and slept most of the day.

I am just waiting for Dad to be sick or injured and he'll just see how much sympathy I show HIM.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie 1, Crate Zero</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668249</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 24 Apr 2010 12:30:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/668249</guid>
		<description>Hah!  Dad disassembled the crate today!  Mom and Dad are also disassembling their bedroom and bathro ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hah!  Dad disassembled the crate today!  Mom and Dad are also disassembling their bedroom and bathroom prior to the Bathroom Renovation.  The Crate was located in the upstairs hallway; the theory being that The Dog would fell "included" as it was near all the bedrooms.  Yeah, right.

Mom and Dad don't want the Bathroom Renovaters to have anything barring their way to the Bedroom and Bathroom, so the crate, a size XL, was taken down.  Too bad, for it also doubled as a play house for Little Lad.

A few weeks ago I managed to remove myself from the crate by pulling the door INSIDE the crate.  Mom and Dad decided if I had done that once I might do it again and I might cause injury and/or bodily harm to myself.

Mom is especially irritated as she had just a few months past managed to locate a replacement door for the crate.  The crate was at least 24 years old for Dog's Sake!  And Mom expected me to sleep in that old thing?  After seeing all the "Glamour Crates" advertised on Dogster, complete with Mini-Bar and Media Room?

Anyhoodles, Dad took apart the two plastic clam shells, put all the hardware (Mom recently bought new hardware, too) in a plastic bag, attached the bag to the crate, and relegated the crate to the attic above the garage.

Pennie Won!  Crate Zero!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Terror in My Own Backyard!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/667180</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:59:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/667180</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am not a dog to live in fear.  In fact, if there was a Woman's Lib for Female Dogs, I cou ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am not a dog to live in fear.  In fact, if there was a Woman's Lib for Female Dogs, I could be the pack leader.  I hunt moles, mice and rabbits from my 0.6 acres of Suburbia, making me Independent, yes Independent of my daily Kibble Ration.  Oh, sure, I EAT my daily Kibble Ration; it's just that if I should be so forced, I could fend for myself.  I LOVE tools, old cars, and machinery.  As soon as I hear one of Dad's old convertibles start up (on the rare occasions that the engines actually turn over and run) I race to jump inside and go for a ride.  When Dad is working in his Shop, I must be out there to supervise, not minding the noise of the drills, the saws, or the hammers.

I love the John Deere tractor.  When the lawn is being mowed, I, Pennie, love to run alongside the tractor, not too close, but close enough to make sure every blade of grass is properly cut and close enough to feel the rumble of the engine.

Until today.

Middle Lad, now 14, is "prime age" to be mowing the lawn.  Mom gave Middle Lad a dose of Concerta, his ADD medicine this very morning; indeed I witnessed it myself.  Middle Lad finished all his homework and then was summoned by Dad to help with the Yard Work.

As soon as I, Pennie, heard the John Deere Tractor rev it's engine, I HAD to be outside.

I had no idea the danger I was in.

My 0.6 acres of Suburbia is a tad bit hilly.  Not "hilly" hilly; just not completely flat.  There is a bit of a hill sloping down to the next door neighbor's house.  

That is when I decided that ADD plus John Deere equals TERROR!  

There I, Pennie, was, out in the yard, when Highly Distractible Middle Lad forgot that he was riding the John Deere on the Lawn of Suburbia, and drove the John Deere Tractor straight into the side of the neighbor's house!

I, Pennie, could have been killed!  Run Over! Mulched into brown and white shreds suitable for gardening!

Dad immediately put Me inside the house.

The neighbor's house is brick, not siding, so it survived Middle Lad's Terror Attack without blemish.

The John Deere Tractor now has a giant crack in the front end, but still runs and the lawn mowing was able to be completed.

I am shaken, but not mulched.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>More Bling.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/666279</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 13 Apr 2010 09:05:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/666279</guid>
		<description>My &quot;Home Again&quot; Microchip Tag arrived in the mail and Mom just attached it to my collar along with t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My "Home Again" Microchip Tag arrived in the mail and Mom just attached it to my collar along with the rest of my tags.

1.  Home Again Tag.
2.  Milk-Bone Name Tag.
3.  Rabies Tag.
4.  League for Animal Welfare Tag (where I was adopted, another registry if I am "lost" I can be traced.)
5.  County License.

Fine, fine, but these tags are all made of stainless steel!  I want Diamonds!   Gold!  Rubies!

Sheesh, will no one ever understand me?  Just because I can clear a yard of rodents doesn't mean I am not a Lady!  And a Lady wants Diamonds! Not stainless steel!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>First Sleepover.  Failed.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/665812</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 Apr 2010 13:19:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/665812</guid>
		<description>I failed my first Sleepover.  Yep, I was all excited, heading down to The Structure with Oldest Lad  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I failed my first Sleepover.  Yep, I was all excited, heading down to The Structure with Oldest Lad to enjoy a nice bonfire and a cool Spring evening with the College Men.

Mom warned me to watch out for any College Dogs that might try to slip something into my waterbowl and then take advantage of me.  Me?  Yeah, I'd like to see some College Dog try to take me on.  I happily leaped into the pick-up truck with Oldest Lad and off we went.  Mom gave me a Pedigree Dentastix right before I left so I wouldn't have to bring a toothbrush with me.

I was doing just fine for a while.  Mom called me around 9:00, just to "check on me."  Sheesh, I thought, can't a Girl get away for the night without her Mom nagging at her?"

Then it hit.  The dreaded Sleepover Homesickness.  I'd heard rumors of it before.  Of Mom or Dad receiving a teary call late at night from one of the Lads who was at a Sleepover, begging to "come home."  I never thought it would happen to me, Pennie!  I just got upset.  Distraught.  Anxious.  Oldest Lad left the bonfire and his friends, and brought me up to his room at The Structure.  Dad had to drive all the way into the City and bring me home. I was in abject humiliation at my Failed Sleepover but I just couldn't wait to get back into my own House!

I slept with Mom all night.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Star Trek has me All Upset about the Chip!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/665590</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 9 Apr 2010 06:40:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/665590</guid>
		<description>I was starting to feel better about having my Microchip.  That is until I saw an episode of &quot;Star Tr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was starting to feel better about having my Microchip.  That is until I saw an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation."  I WAS coming to terms with my Microchip because I realized that in 99% of the TV shows/movies about aliens, there are three things in common:  pickup trucks, country, corn.  

We DO have a pickup truck, however, it is a Toyoto, so I am certain that if the Aliens decided to come after me for my Microchip, the Toyota could achieve Warp Speed.  Indeed, it might achieve Warp Speed even if the Aliens are NOT chasing me.  

Alien Encounters on TV always occur in The Country.  I, Pennie, live in Suburbia.  There is NO Room in  my subdivision for an Alien Spacecraft to land.  There IS room in the Subdivision behind me, the "High-End" Subdivision.  I am certain that a subdivision with it's own private pool, designer mailboxes and traffic lights, has carefully drafted "Covenants and Restrictions" that specifically prohibit the landing of Alien Spacecraft, even within their Green Space, even if said Green Space is actually just a Retention Basin that the High End Builders are passing off as Green Space.

Alien Encounters on TV always involve Corn.  There IS Corn in my home, but it is Birdseye Frozen Corn.  On TV, the Aliens are always popping out of great long rows of corn stalks.  Or the Aliens are making great Crop Circles in the Corn, probably from letting a Teen-Age Alien Joy Ride with the Space Craft.  OHIO itself does have Corn, but I don't live near any.  I went to Kentucky a few weeks ago but Kentucky is too hilly to grow Corn; it grows horses and grass instead.

Anyhoodles, I was indeed feeling that perhaps despite my Alien Microchip, perhaps I would be able to avoid any Actual Aliens.  Then I saw the "Star Trek" Episode.  Lt. Commander Data is an Android and he has A CHIP!  The Enemies (Romulans, Borgs, I have seen so many episodes they run together) exposed Lt. Commander Data's Chip, connected a long USB Cable to the back of his shoulders and downloaded and uploaded data from/to Data!  Is this to be my fate?  I don't even have the long hair of a Malamute or Golden Retriever to help hide my Chip!  No, I, Pennie have very short hair, and Alien Enemies could easily find my Chip and attach a USB Cable, just like they did to Lt. Commander Data!

I, Pennie, was feeling much better about this whole Microchip thing, and now I am completely distressed again.  I shall always have to be watching my back!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Just Sad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664884</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Apr 2010 10:38:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664884</guid>
		<description>Today I saw Sandy and Gunnar out walking with their Mom.  It will be the last time I see Sandy.  San ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I saw Sandy and Gunnar out walking with their Mom.  It will be the last time I see Sandy.  Sandy did a bad thing.  Sandy attacked another dog and Sandy is soon to be euthanized.  Fortunately she is allowed to stay at home until she crosses the Bridge and her family will be able to be at her side.  

On a positive note, Gunnar has finally adjusted to his life in Suburbia, out of the Shelter and has become quite the Couch Potato!  He no longer escapes his house and yard on a daily basis, but is content to have his daily walk and then have his bowls of kibble brought to him on a stainless steel platter.

I am very sad and Mom is crying for Sandy, Sandy's Family and of course for the Dog that was attacked and that Family as well.

To make matter's worse, Sandy's Mom is quite young and her Father (Sandy's Grandfather)  just had another major Heart Attack, and is not doing well.  Sandy's timing is terrible!  Mom and I wish all the families involved some semblance of peace as they work through this.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Need to vote Mom out.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664655</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 4 Apr 2010 09:50:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664655</guid>
		<description>Yesterday Mom, Wee Lass, Other Woman, and Oldest Lad went to The Jungle.  Jungle Jim's that is.  Jun ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday Mom, Wee Lass, Other Woman, and Oldest Lad went to The Jungle.  Jungle Jim's that is.  Jungle Jim's is an Uber Grocery Store.  Is located quite far from Suburbia and going there is "An Adventure."

Mom bought quite a few boring, boring, boring items:  tea.  dried fruit.  bread. to name a few.

AND! BACON!

Not just regular bacon, but bacon from the meat counter.

Oh, I was just waiting for Oldest Lad and Other Woman to get home from Easter Church Services this morning to cook Me, Pennie, up some BACON!

Mom HATES Bacon.  Hates the smell of Bacon.  Hates people cooking bacon in her house.  Yes, Mom is strange.

I, Pennie, was salivating all morning.  Soon enough Oldest Lad and Other Woman arrived home and Oldest Lad took that lovely white meat-paper wrapped package of Bacon out of the fridge. 

And walked right on out of the house with it.

Yep.  My Bacon walked right on out the door.

Oldest Lad and Other Woman took it over to Other Woman's house to cook!  With Other Woman's Family!

All I am left with is Tea and Dried Fruit!

That's it, Mom is getting voted out of the house.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where's my Teeth?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664315</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 2 Apr 2010 15:13:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/664315</guid>
		<description>Mom (finally) bought me some Pedigree Dentastix today!  Was she waiting this long just to see if my  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom (finally) bought me some Pedigree Dentastix today!  Was she waiting this long just to see if my teeth would fall out on their own?  

Mom tried to give Mulligan "Greenie" but he always threw up afterwards so Mom never bothered trying them out on me.  Mom used to brush Mulligan's teeth with "Chicken" flavored Dentifrice and a Finger-Toothbrush.  Me?  I don't exactly take kindly to humans messing with my body parts.  Mom just didn't think her appendages would survive any tooth-brushing attempt.  As much of an over-bearing brute as Mulligan was; he never objected to letting Mom brush his teeth or do anything else to him.

Anyhoodles, Mom opened the bag of Dentastix.  I eagerly awaited my shiny new set of teeth!

There weren't any!  Just treats!  Did Mom buy the wrong bag?  Is there a special "Starter Bag" of Pedigree Dentastix that comes with the Teeth and Mom accidentally just purchased the "Refill Bag?"

Little Lad is sporting braces currentlyand now I am feeling really left out.  One of my front canine teeth is chipped.  Mom has NEVER taken me to the dentist or orthodontist to have this addressed.

The Pedigree Dentastix WAS quite tasty.  Just disappointing.  The bag clearly states that I, Pennie, am to get ONE Dentastix PER Day.  Now that Mom has cheated me out of the Dentist AND Orthodontist AND waited this long to even begin an "oral hygeine program" she better believe I plan to force her to stick to it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>That's it I'm chewing the chip out, if I have to dislocate my head.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663860</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 31 Mar 2010 13:46:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663860</guid>
		<description>As if Dad's Stupid Chip Questions weren't enough, Oldest Lad stopped by and made things even worse!  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As if Dad's Stupid Chip Questions weren't enough, Oldest Lad stopped by and made things even worse!  I may have to become Possessed like in "The Exorcist" so I can turn my head completely around and gnaw the chip out from between my shoulders.

Oldest Lad to Pennie:  "Pennie, do you have a USB Port now so I can read your thoughts?"

Oldest Lad to Pennie:  "Oh, no Pennie, what if you turn into "The Terminator!"

Mom asked Oldest Lad to check my "Chip Site" for redness, as the Vet Tech suggested.  Mom can't see right now because her glasses were fatally ripped apart by Wee Lass.

Oldest Lad to Pennie:  "Nope, Pennie, I don't see any redness or swelling, just an Antenna!"

I am beginning to think it would be far better to be "Lost" than to bear the weight of this Chip on my shoulders.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Answers to Stupid Dad Microchip Questions</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663796</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 31 Mar 2010 06:45:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663796</guid>
		<description>Mom took me to my Microchip Insertion appointment yesterday to give me the moral support I needed.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom took me to my Microchip Insertion appointment yesterday to give me the moral support I needed.  Obviously Dad should have tagged along to get his Stupid Questions asked.  We typically try to keep Dad away from all things medical as he is a Wuss when it comes to body fluids or body parts.  As the Dad of three accident-prone Lads (and one Wee Lass, OK so far), one would think Dad would have Manned-up by now with the constant exposure to broken bones, cuts, and exploded knees.

Since I returned home, in addition to dealing with the steady stream of voices and binary code now running through my head, I must deal with a steady barrage of Stupid Questions from Dad!

Dad to Pennie:  "Stop Barking!  Didn't that thing come with a Remote so I can turn you off!"

Pennie:  "No, Dad, in your ever-quest to save money you opted for the Econo-Dog Microchip that does not have a Remote to turn me Off."

Dad to Pennie:  "Hey, if I pull on your ears can I get free Sattelite Radio?"

Dad to Pennie:  "Hey, Pennie, do you now have Apps?"

Pennie:  I am not even deigning to respond to those.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Alien Mind Control</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663551</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 30 Mar 2010 07:08:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663551</guid>
		<description>My Microchip appointment was at 9:30 am.  It is now 9:56 am.  I am already back home, kibbled, and u ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Microchip appointment was at 9:30 am.  It is now 9:56 am.  I am already back home, kibbled, and used the Backyard.  Who knew Alien Mind Control was so efficient?

The first I noticed was that my Kibble did not taste the same.  It had a strange metallic taste.  Mom brought my Kibble Bowl into the Kitchen and I still was nervous about eating it.  I just could not get the strange voices and binary codes to leave my poor addled brain long enough to focus on my little, now metallic-tasting Kibbles.

At the Vet I was surprised that there was:  No Rectal Probing.

Is Mom sure that I am REALLY Microchipped?

ALL Alien Mind-Control and Chipping in the movies and in books involves Rectal Probing.

Oh, I am not sorry about the lack of Rectal Probing, just not sure if I really had an "authentic" Chip implant.

After I was returned to Mom from the Microchip Implant, the Vet Tech took out a device that looked strangely just like Dad's Electronic Stud Finder.  She waved that Stud Finder between my shoulder blades and there was a magical "beep beep," just like when Dad finds one of those elusive studs in the Dry Wall.  I am NOT going to be happy if some family member decides that I, Pennie, am a Stud, and can be used to hang a picture or book shelves upon.

I was sent home in under 10 minutes, hearing voices, binary codes, and feeling the weight of a giant chip between my shoulders.  Do I sound different?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Crate Wars:  Pennie Declared Grand Champion!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663392</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 29 Mar 2010 06:44:04 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663392</guid>
		<description>Yesterday Oldest Lad locked me in The Crate while he attended Church with Other Woman.  As I stated  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday Oldest Lad locked me in The Crate while he attended Church with Other Woman.  As I stated in my previous entry, I am certain the Good Lord sees right through this Scheme to Gain Points with Other Woman's Pawrents.

When Oldest Lad returned home I greeted him happily at the door!  Oldest Lad may not be a Stellar Over-Achiever, but he could figure out that I, Pennie, was not in the same place he had put me.

Not only had I escaped The Crate, but somehow pulled The Door INSIDE the crate.  The only material evidence on me, Pennie, was a chipped nail, which could have happened in all my Kentucky Travels on Saturday.

When Mom and Dad returned home from Cleveland, Dad examined The Crate.  It's DONE!  Beyond Repair!  Mom is not happy as it is one of those plastic clam shell type crates that are Quite Pricey. 

What?  Would I have found any challenge in ruining a Cheap Crate?

Mom will have to come up with some other solution for my Separation Anxiety, since this Crate is Toast!

Normally I am fine alone in the house, but as soon as I see any bags packed, I get upset, even if just part of the family is leaving.  On "regular" days, my Separation Anxiety does not manifest itself and I don't need "Crating" to prevent destruction to woodwork and those types of things that Dogs like to wreak havoc upon when in the throes of Separation Anxiety.

The simplest solution is that I, Pennie, must go everywhere that the Family goes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Twangy Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663296</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 28 Mar 2010 15:13:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/663296</guid>
		<description>Disclaimer:  Wee Lass terminally broke Mom's eyeglasses; apparently BOTH ear pieces are an integral  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Disclaimer:  Wee Lass terminally broke Mom's eyeglasses; apparently BOTH ear pieces are an integral part of the frame functionality.  Mom has an eye exam already booked for this week, so she figures she might as well just wait until then to address the issue.  Please excuse Me, Pennie, if My Secretary makes errors.


Do I sound Twangy?  I spent all day Saturday in KENTUCKY!  Dogs down there speak with a TWANG!
Oldest Lad and Other Woman drove down to Eastern Kentucky University to watch a Softball game, Miami University (Miami of Ohio, for the ill-versed who think Miami is in Florida) versus Eastern Kentucky.  Other Woman usually plays but she had teeth removed recently and is on the "injured list."

Oldest Lad was charged with watching Me, Pennie, this weekend, while the rest of The Family headed to Cleveland.  Oldest Lad took great pity on the pathetic looks that I gave him as he tried to convince me to spend a great number of hours in the Dog Crate.  I "normally" don't get Crated, but when I see the tell-tale signs of duffel bags being packed I go into Hyper Separation Anxiety Mode.  What if The Family never came back?  Dad has never left me the passwords to the bank accounts (he claims dogs have loose lips) and I would not be able to secure funds to hire a New Family to attend to my needs.  Therefore as soon as The Family leaves I go into Hyper Drive trying to find out where any Cash and/or Securities are hidden, just in case.  A Dog must never be caught unprepared. 

Anyhoodles, I enjoyed my day mingling with the Twangy Southern Dogs.  Then today Oldest Lad left and banished me to the Crate!  He could have skipped Church!   He only goes to kiss up to Other Woman's Family, and I am certain the Good Lord sees right through that scheme!

When Oldest Lad arrived home I enthusiastically greeted him at the door!  Considering that Oldest Lad wants to work in Criminal Justice of some form, I was thrilled that he immediately picked up on the CLUE that something had happened!  (Maybe he can be on "CSI" someday!)

Oldest Lad examed my Crate.  Somehow I, Pennie pulled the crate door INSIDE the crate.  Then I escaped.  I only have one chipped toe nail for my efforts.  Dad is still trying to figure out how I pulled the entire crate door INTO the crate, rather than push it out, but hopefully there will be no more crating for me!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Who knew?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/662770</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 25 Mar 2010 13:16:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/662770</guid>
		<description>Apparently I, Pennie, do not care for Applesauce.  Mom gave me the rest of her lunch to eat; the rem ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Apparently I, Pennie, do not care for Applesauce.  Mom gave me the rest of her lunch to eat; the remnants of chicken and noodle casserole, YUM!  Then Oldest Lad gave me some Applesauce.  Oh, I tried to be polite about it, but I did not even want my lips to touch it.  Thankfully Mom noticed my curled up lips and came to my rescue, quietly removing the bowl of applesauce and replacing it with: the chicken and noodle casserole dish to clean!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Some relatives NOT welcome.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/662382</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 23 Mar 2010 12:11:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/662382</guid>
		<description>Sunday afternoon one of Mom's brothers and one of his daughters, Cousin H, stopped by for a visit.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sunday afternoon one of Mom's brothers and one of his daughters, Cousin H, stopped by for a visit.  It was quite nice to visit with "Family" until the subject of one of the other Cousins came up.  Youngest Uncle has three daughters:  Cousin H, Cousin M1 (Cousin M2 belongs to Oldest Uncle) and Cousin K.  The conversation was going along quite smoothly until Youngest Uncle happened to mention what Cousin M1 is doing at University.

Dogs, the following part is not for the fainthearted.  Really, I must write about it only to come to grips with the presence in my very own family of, of, oh, it is almost too horrible to write.

First off:  Cousin M1 is never, ever, welcome to come to visit ME, Pennie.  If the family feels the need to maintain contact with her, then they will have to go see HER elsewhere.

Cousin M1 is attending University for Animal Care.  She has just finished learning how to:  Dock Tails, Tag Ears, Inject, and "Tutor" lambs and piglets.  It doesn't take much of a stretch to imagine that if Cousin M1 can torture lambs and piglets without shedding a tear that she, gulp, could easily torture ME, Pennie!  Or any other Dog!

Sure every family has a relative that is a "bad apple" but that is usually just an axe murderer or a serial killer, not a Lamb Tail Docker!  What if Cousin M1 wants more docking practice and sees my beautiful tail? 

For safety perhaps that entire side of the family should be shunned!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No wonder America's Public School System Is Failing!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/661527</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:07:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/661527</guid>
		<description>Mom is busy baking two pumpking pi today for Middle Lad to take to school, tomorrow, to celebrate &quot;P ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is busy baking two pumpking pi today for Middle Lad to take to school, tomorrow, to celebrate "Pi Day."

Tomorrow, Friday, is March 19th.  Even I, Pennie, who has only been ON the Public School Parking Lots and ON the Public School Playground but never IN the actual Public School, knows that Pi is 3.14 and on for infinity.

National Pi Day is March 14.  3.14.  
Dogster PiElla posted that she drooled over peanut butter Pi on National Pi Day.  Other Woman brought over a lemon meringue Pi for the family.  I indulged in a piece, but only after letting Mom eat from it first, to be sure it was safe.

It's small wonder that America is now lagging behind other countries of the world if American Public Schools cannot even get Pi Day correct!  Oh, and I suppose one could put forth that since National Pi Day fell on a Sunday, then naturally it could not be celebrated on Sunday, but must be celebrated some other time.  Fine, follow that shoddy rule meant to give a three day weekend, but then Middle Lad's Public School would have celebrated National Pi Day either the Friday BEFORE or the Monday immediately following, true Pi Day.

The only solution is for Me, Pennie, to consume both the Pumpkin Pi, and let the whole embarrassing matter be forgotten.  Yes.  Once the Pi are cooled I shall quietly lick the pi plates clean, put them back in the cabinet and the entire world need not know of the abject failure of American Public Schools.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Consent for Procedures</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/661047</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 16 Mar 2010 09:46:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/661047</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, do realize that the Pawrent must give consent for MOST Veterinary Procedures.  No Dog is  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, do realize that the Pawrent must give consent for MOST Veterinary Procedures.  No Dog is going to willingly allow a bum-probing, or some of the other arcane torture techniques that happen at the Vet.  Unfortunately, a Dog's health rests in the hands of these horrible procedures and it is up to the human to force us to submit to them.

But what about purely "optional" procedures?  What about forcing a dog to submit to having a CHIP implanted, a mind control device, an alien probe?

Mom's birthday is coming up and she has asked for an odd present:  She wants me, Pennie, to be Microchipped!  The recent incident of finding BamBam without collar or tags has Mom paranoid and worried that I, Pennie, will escape the yard, lose my tags, and be lost forever.  Upon interrogation of BamBam's pawrent, when found, it was discovered that BamBam was NOT Microchipped.  Mom's plan, before she called the shelters and learned that BamBam's pawrents were looking for a dog of his description, was to take BamBam to be "Scanned."  Obviously, this "Scanning" would have done no good as BamBam has no Chip.

Fine.  But just because BamBam escaped without his collar and tags, had no Chip, why does that mean that I, Pennie, must submit myself to a Gratuitous Medical Procedure?  An Alien Implant?  Do I even get to pick from which Aliens the implant comes from?  Where does the Vet get the Implant?  If Area 51 does NOT exist, and UFOs do NOT exist, and aliens do NOT visit the earth, then where are all these Microchip IMPLANTS coming from?  The Bermuda Triangle?

It all seems highly suspicious to me.  And then, if I get lost I will have to be SCANNED!  And let me guess, that will have to include a Bum Probe, because all Alien Chips/Alien Encounters include a Bum Probing.

I have a mere two weeks to come up with a better birthday present, or soon I, Pennie, will join the ranks of dogs under alien chip control.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ruined Reputation!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/660859</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 15 Mar 2010 09:23:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/660859</guid>
		<description>My Mom has ruined my Reputation!  Oh, all us dogs have heard about &quot;those&quot; kind of girls; the ones t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Mom has ruined my Reputation!  Oh, all us dogs have heard about "those" kind of girls; the ones that Mom and Dads warn their teenage sons to stay away from, the ones that Mom and Dads warn their teenage daughters not to turn into.  Well, Mom, yes, my very own Mom has ruined MY Reputation.

For months now, my Yard has been a Homeless Shelter for Wayward Dogs.  Oh, fine, Mom would catch a stray pup, feed it a cup of kibble, find it's proper home, and we'd be done with it.  For a while Gunnar was almost a regular, barking at the back door, smitten head over heals with Mom with his blue eyed stare.  Mom would catch him, call his pawrents, and be done with the matter.  There was the Beagle.  The Other Beagle.  Gunnar's Sister, Sandy, who used to come and play for hours in the backyard with Me and Mulli, as she was almost Un-Catchable.  Chewie from across the street.

Those Dog Captures were all "innocent flirtations."  Mom doing her duty to keep dogs safe from being hit by a car or becoming lost.

Then Mom went too far.  Mom brought home "The Beast." BamBam as it turned out.  BamBam Slept Over! Yes, a Sleepover in my very Family Room!  Not even a "prearranged" sleepover, like might happen if we were dog-sitting.  This was a "One Night Stand" with a "Stray."

Last night, I, Pennie, went outside for my pre-bed use of the Backyard.  When I ran back into the house, there were TWO dogs!  Yep, Dad just opened the door, I ran in, and a Yellow Labrador ran in!

For Dog's sake, what does Mom expect?  Mom has ruined my reputation!  Obviously this Yellow Lab just figured it could have a Sleepover like BamBam did!

It just took that ONE NIGHT, with BamBam, and now any Stray Dog in Suburbia thinks it can just Run in my Front Door and have a SleepOver!

I must put not one paw down, not two paws down, I must put all FOUR Paws down!  I, Pennie, can not play Harlot Hostess to all the Stray Dogs of Suburbia!

Kinda makes me wonder what Mom was like in High School????]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What's in a name?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/659636</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 9 Mar 2010 07:35:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/659636</guid>
		<description>Today I am &quot;A&quot; Diary Pick of the Day.  Not &quot;The&quot; Diary Pick of the Day, but really, I am OK with tha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I am "A" Diary Pick of the Day.  Not "The" Diary Pick of the Day, but really, I am OK with that.  I live in Ohio, home to "The Ohio State University."  (TOSU) It used to be simply "Ohio State University" (OSU) but it recently acquired the rights to the adjective "The" and became "The Ohio State University."  Oldest Lad does not go to an "Adjectived" University.  No, he goes to University of Cincinnati.  (I do recognize that "of" is an adjective, but it does not bear the weight of "The" Ohio State University.)

If I, Pennie, were "The" Diary Pick of the Day Iwould be concerned that I might have to pay Royalties to "The Ohio State University," simply for using the word "The" and of course I am not a fan of THAT University, but of University of Cincinnati.  Enough family dollars go to University of Cincinnati without sending some of my Kibble Fund off to Columbus for Royalties to TOSU.

Anyhoodles, on Sunday Mom and I joined a neighbor and her Dog for a Walk.  It was the first time that I met "Mercedes."  Mercedes is a "Husky Mix" from one of the local shelters.  At first Mercedes and I were not too keen on walking together but Mom and Neighbor Woman insisted, so Mercedes and I decided not to raise further fuss.

I, Pennie, am a "Standard American Brown Dog," aka Shelter Special.  Mercedes clearly has "Husky" in her but is also a Shelter Special.  However, Mercedes is, well, "A Mercedes."  I, Pennie, am a "Pennie."

Does this mean that as "The Ohio State University" (TOSU, which used to be OSU) is now superior to non-adjectived universities, that Mercedes is of higher value than me because her name is derived from an expensive automobile while my name is derived from either one cent, or a piece of pasta?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennii, and what is my Mii doing all day?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658609</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 3 Mar 2010 12:34:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658609</guid>
		<description>First off, I must commend Mom today, for a stray CAT, yes, a CAT, no less, walked into the garage th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ First off, I must commend Mom today, for a stray CAT, yes, a CAT, no less, walked into the garage the moment Mom returned from "Runners and Jumpers" class with the Wee Lass.  Now Mom does worry about Homeless Cats as much as Homeless Dogs, but she said:  "No, away with thee, oh homeless vixen!"  Or words to that effect.  Of course, not after Mom got some Whoring in, as I could tell from the CAT odor all over Mom's sweatshirt.  Not only is Middle Lad allergic to Cats, but I, Pennii,  has cleared the yard of rabbits, moles, and mice; well, Mom just thought the CAT might just stand a better chance finding it's own way home.

Anyhoodles, Mom has of late taken to "Island Cycling" as part of her Wii Fat Plus Exercise Regimen.  As usual I do my best to add to Mom's exercise progam:  I poke her in the arse with my nose when she does Hula Hoop.  I lick her toes when she does Yoga poses, especially poses that require her to stand on one leg.  And while Mom does "Island Cycling" it is quite effective for me simply to stand extremely close to Mom, just out of her peripheral vision.

Standing close to Mom is when I noticed:  The Mii that Mom created of ME, Pennii, jogs alonside Mom as Mom goes around Wuhu Island.  Yep, there's Pennii getting in a great jog, up and down hills, across the beach, sometimes dropping off the side of a cliff.

I find this very disturbing.  First off, why is Mom allowing Pennii to exercise with her, yet not me, Pennie?  Second off, what else is my Mii, Pennii, doing that I don't know about?  Do I have a whole pack of Doggii Friends?  Is there a Doggii Park on Wuhu Island?  Does Pennnii get a treatsii that I don't get?

I, Pennie, am just not happii about having a Pennii.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Can't let that Woman out of my sight . . .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658313</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 2 Mar 2010 08:24:20 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658313</guid>
		<description>I complained in a recent Diary Entry that on the first day that I did not accompany Mom to drop off  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I complained in a recent Diary Entry that on the first day that I did not accompany Mom to drop off Little Lad for his Piano Lesson, there she was Whoring Around with the Piano Teacher's Dog.  I forgave her because I realized that being a Piano Teacher's Dog is indeed one of the Worst Dog Jobs and poor Gracie must be forgiven for trying to snatch a bit of a butt rub when her ears are under such a daily assault of Primer Piano Proteges.

Anyhoodles, last night I thought it perfectly reasonable that Mom should be allowed to attend a meeting at the local Middle School.  It was a community sponsored event, required advance registration and "name tags" no less.  Surely Mom could ferry herself to and from the Middle School, even if it was after dark, without incident.  Of course I was wrong!  How am I, Pennie, ever to trust that Woman!

Mom arrives home with an over-grown, over-weight, collarless Beast in the Mutt-Van!  She claimed "he was roaming the street and she couldn't just leave him to wander out onto Clough (a major street) and get hit by a car."  Mom and Dad ventured off back to where Mom had found the Beast and began knocking on doors in the area and assaulting passing vehicles and confronting walking strangers in the hopes someone would recognize the Beast.  At one yard Dad discovered a Swim Team Yard Sign that Dad had made, when Oldest Lad swam for the Swim Team.  Dad felt that gave him full right to knock on that door, display the Beast, and comment how nicely the Yard Sign had held up for these some three or so years.  Unfortunately the Beast was not recognized although Dad's craftmanship was duly complimented.

Eventually Mom and Dad realized it was too late too be knocking on Strange Suburbia Doors and headed home.  The Beast was put in the Utility Room.  He immediately began to CRY!  I, Pennie, weigh between 46 and 50 pounds.  This Beast easily outpassed me by 30 pounds, yet there he was, CRYING like a PUP!  Mom was forced to bring him into the Family Room, where she slept on the couch and the Beast slept on the Floor.

The Beast Snored.  Yes, he Snored!  Besides being assaulted by a collarless, tagless dog who was now having a Sleepover in my OWN FAMILY ROOM, he was now SNORING.  Hmmph, I shall never let that Woman out of my sight again!

In the morning Mom set to calling the Vet and the Shelters.  Amazingly, one of the Shelters had received a call just last night about a Dog matching the Beast's description.  Mom called the phone number.  It turned out that it was the dog of one of Little Lad's Classmates!  The Beast, by way of backyards, was found in a totally different neighborhood from his home.  HIS Family was probably looking for the Beast the same time Mom and Dad were out looking for the Beast's Family, but managed to not cross paths.

I cannot trust Mom!  If she is not whoring around with dogs at Piano Teachers Houses, then she is picking up large stray mutts off the streets!  What about Dad?  Shouldn't he have some "words" to say to Mom about her having an impromptu Sleepover in the FamilyRoom while he is sleeping on the Concrete Queen, just upstairs?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Vitamins</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658141</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 1 Mar 2010 09:04:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/658141</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Pennie, do you by any chance know who shredded that Diaper Delite in the middle of Little Lad ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Pennie, do you by any chance know who shredded that Diaper Delite in the middle of Little Lad's blankets and stuffed animals?"

Pennie:  "Oh, No!  Surely Little Lad must be suffering from a Vitamin Deficiency if he has taken to consuming Diaper Delites.  I hear Flinstone's makes a Chewable Vitamin."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Worst Dog Job</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/657788</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:43:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/657788</guid>
		<description>Mom returned home from dropping Little Lad off for his Piano Lesson yesterday and I immediately knew ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom returned home from dropping Little Lad off for his Piano Lesson yesterday and I immediately knew Mom had been Whoring Around.  Yes, she stank all over of miniature daschund.  The daschund in question bears the name Gracie and is one of two that reside at the Piano Teacher's House.  I was quite offended.  Let my Mom out of my sight for a matter of minutes and she if off rubbing another dog.  I always accompany Mom on the journey to drop off Little Lad for Piano, but the draw of Middle Lad's fresh cooked frozen pizza had kept me home.

I WAS going to stay mad at Mom for a good long while until I realized:  What an Awful Job:  Piano Teacher's Dog.  For Dog's sake, it can't get much worse than than, for Little Lad's Piano Teacher teaches Beginning to Intermediate Students, in her home.  Does poor Gracie have any Ears left?  As Little Lad is now well into his Second Year of Piano Lessons, for the most part listening to him practice Piano is not Un-Pleasant.  Sure he has to work out the melodies and hits a few sour keys, but it is not anywhere like the early days of his first lessons.

Mulligan used to croon pianissimo while Middle Lad and Little Lad practiced piano and howl forte while Middle Lad and Oldest Lad practiced the alto saxophone.  During Middle Lad's early days learning the alto saxophone, Mom remembers happening to catch Mulligan while Middle Lad blasted out a particularly off-key note.  Poor Mulligan's entire body twitched and he shook his head and ears vigorously.

Can one imagine Gracie, listening to Primer Piano Students, day after day after day, at regular half hour intervals?  Certainly if she can catch a bit of a butt rub from a grown-up dropping off their Wee Piano Protege before the Ear Assault begins, I suppose she must be forgiven that small transgression.  Yes, I am certain that Piano Teacher's Dog must rank as one of the Worst Dog Jobs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pillow Talk</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/657231</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:16:04 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/657231</guid>
		<description>Mom to Pennie:
Mom:  &quot;Pennie, it has been a long standing rule in this house that No One, No One, d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom to Pennie:
Mom:  "Pennie, it has been a long standing rule in this house that No One, No One, dares lay a head or any other body part upon MY Pillow, except Dogs.  However, I am going to have to insist that if you are going to lay your lovely body upon my pillow; you are going to have to refrain from licking your arse."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dogster Blogster Schmogster</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656955</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 23 Feb 2010 07:54:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656955</guid>
		<description>Is Dogster a Blog?

Last night Mom received a Phone Call.  It was from a Political Organization as ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Is Dogster a Blog?

Last night Mom received a Phone Call.  It was from a Political Organization asking Mom to participate in a Survey.  The Caller was quite skillful, because before Mom even had a chance to object, the Caller had Mom answering questions.
Caller:  "Do you or a family member work for a political or governmental agency?"
Mom:  "No."
Caller:  "Do you or a family member work for a newspaper, radio, or other media outlet."
Mom:  "No."
Caller:  "Do you have a Blog."
Mom:  "Uh, well, uh, my Dog has, well, I, I guess it is a Blog."
Caller:  Could not supress a laugh.  "Thank you for time, but I am sorry, Good-Bye."

OK, Dogsters.  First off, IF this is indeed a Blog, isn't it MY Blog?  It has my name, Pennie, on it.  It does not have Mom's name.

Anyhoodles.  Is this a Blog?  Is Dogster a Blog?  Or a Social Networking Site?  What is it?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No one ever takes MY advice.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656506</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 20 Feb 2010 19:18:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656506</guid>
		<description>This morning when Mom entered the room of Wee Lass it was immediately apparent that something had go ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning when Mom entered the room of Wee Lass it was immediately apparent that something had gone wrong.  Terribly Wrong.  Wee Lass was not in her Crate.  No.  Wee Lass was busy emptying all her clothes out of the drawers of her bureau, while her Crate was empty.  Mom even had one of those fancy schmancy "crate tents" on top of the Crate, but still, the Wee Lass had managed to escape the theoretically escape-proof Crate.  I, Pennie, was aghast.  How could Mom allow this to happen?

Dad was informed of this horrible turn of events and he took apart Wee Lass' Crate!  First off, that is completely NOT Fair.  I, Pennie, managed to push so hard against the door of MY Crate that I broke the latching mechanism, and Dad immediately took it out to the shop to fix the door, AND Mom ordered a NEW door to have as a backup!  Of course, unlike the Wee Lass, I, Pennie, only have to be Crated on occasion, not every night and every afternoon.  No, I, Pennie, just have to be Crated when I get upset because I think I am being abandoned.

After Dad took apart the Crate of Wee Lass, he assembled a small bed for her.  It does look like quite a nice little bed, perfect for a dog of my size to take a nap upon, excepting of course that I sleep on the Concrete Queen with Mom and/or Dad or I sleep with Oldest Lad if he is at home.  I have Zero, Zip, Nada desire to sleep with Wee Lass.  No, Wee Lass is far too Evil; she might bite me in the middle of the night.

Anyhoodles, now the whole Family is living in Fear!  Fear of the Wee Lass, who is now UN-Crated at night!  Mom closed the door to the Wee Lass Room, put a door knob cover on the door knob AND put up a gate, in the hopes of containing Wee Lass to her room, but still, one does wonder with all this Dog Breed Specific Law nonsense going around why no one has come up with some Toddler Specific Laws.

With all of this activity today of course NO ONE has paid any attention at all to ME and MY Common Sense, Completely Logical Solution:  Put the Wee Lass in MY Crate at Night and in the Afternoon.

As long as Mom wipes my crate out with some Lysol Wipes if I, Pennie, need to use it, then I am OK with the Wee Lass borrowing it if the Family can get a good night sleep.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>How soon is too soon, or don't let the coffin lid hit you in the face.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656210</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 19 Feb 2010 06:35:12 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/656210</guid>
		<description>Just last week I was lamenting about Rudy, the Terrierist that lives across the street, crossing his ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just last week I was lamenting about Rudy, the Terrierist that lives across the street, crossing his border into no-dog's land, ie the middle of the street, and going on a terror binge upon Suburbia.  Terrorists, according to the accepted Mass Media norms, prefer to bring about Psychological Torture upon their victims by unconventional means.  

As Mom, Dad, Wee Lass and ME, Pennie, returned from a walk, we observed Rudy out in the middle of the street throwing himself at a FedEx Truck, like an Improvised Explosive Dog (IED.)  Really, as much as a Terrierist as Rudy was, what could a Jack Russell Terrierist DO against a FedEx Truck?  It's just a Physics thing.  Of course, Rudy's real impact was Terrierism:  throwing himself at the cars, mini-vans, SUVs and package trucks of Suburbia.  This may NOT have inflicted any real damage on the Vehicle, but the poor Driver mistakenly would assume that He himself had killed Rudy and would suffer the terrible Psychological Torture of Guilt thinking that He had killed a poor innocent Dog.  The truth would be that Rudy had killed himself has an IED.

On that day, just last week, Dad corralled Rudy and returned him to his borders.  Rudy returned to hurling obscenities and threats across his fences (both electronic and physical fences, he was THAT determined) but the Streets of Suburbia were safe once more.

Anyhoodles, last night, Little Lad received a call from Little Friend.  Rudy was No More.  A visit to the Vet on Thursday morning had determined that indeed Rudy's Kidney Disease was advancing at a quickened pace and well, Rudy was sent across the Bridge.  (I do have to admit I wonder where Rudy ended up.)  However, the purpose of Little Friend's call to Little Lad was NOT to inform Little Lad of Rudy's Passing but to inform him of a New Dog.

Yep, Rudy passed to the Bridge in the morning and that very afternoon a NEW Dog, a Replacement, was brought home, to join Chewie, the overgrown German Shepherd/Hound Mix, who probably had no idea what was even going on yet.

This just bears to mind:  How soon is too soon?  Admittedly Rudy was a bit of a Grouch, but, shouldn't more than just a scant couple of hours pass before obtaining a replacement?????]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Rose Never Stank So Rank</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/655937</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:44:53 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/655937</guid>
		<description>How Low can Oldest Lad Stoop?  I, Pennie . . . oh, what is the point?  I came into his life and he i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ How Low can Oldest Lad Stoop?  I, Pennie . . . oh, what is the point?  I came into his life and he immediately destroyed his knee.  I nursed him through his First Knee Surgery AND AP Physics!  With my herding him to his desk and Mulligan's vast cranial capabilities, and despite Oldest Lad's own instinctual ability to distract himself, Mulligan and I managed to get the Oldest Lad to actually pass the AP Physics test and gain college credit!  As payback, a scant year after the first knee surgery, Oldest Lad destroyed the same knee again! With no regard to MY personal schedule AND the fact that I had been forced to take on Nanny Duties for Wee Lass (of course no one bothered to consult me about adding HER to the family,) I found myself once again donning my Nurse Cap and facing my fear of that dreaded Knee Crunch Machine to nurse Oldest Lad's Knee back to health through it's second surgery.

Through all this Oldest Lad was Two-Timing me.  Yep.  Other Woman.  Oh, Mulligan loved Other Woman.  It was disgusting to see; Other Woman would come over and Mulligan would push her over onto the couch, climb into her lap and begin to make out with her.  Geesh, Mulli has been gone since May and I am sure Other Woman's Ears are still clean and fresh from Mulligan's Ham Tongue slurping away at them.

Me?  Oh, no, Other Woman and I have been at odds since the start.  Mom and Dad and I can all three snuggle on the couch, quite comfortably. If I try to snuggle with Oldest Lad and Other Woman; Other Woman complains.  (And trust me, Oldest Lad and Other Woman may be Taller, but Mom and Dad are a lot WIDER, heh, heh, so by what I learned from AP Physics, it should still work out as far as fitting on the couch.) 

This very Valentine's Weekend, Oldest Lad declared what the rest of the world already knew:  He and Other Woman were going steady.

This is how Oldest Lad told me, Pennie, his beloved DOG, his "lovely:"  He brought me a Red Rose.  AND he put the Rose on the Sideboard with a vase of flowers for Mom (very thoughtful, I approved) AND a vase of flowers for Other Woman!

This is so way beyond just the "poo in the shoe" thing.  I am not even sure shall exact Revenge.  Long, prolonged suffering may be better.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Perfect Day with Day, Ruined.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/655478</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 15 Feb 2010 07:27:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/655478</guid>
		<description>Dad spent most of Valentine's Day glued to the Blue Couch of Death.  He coined that term because HE  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad spent most of Valentine's Day glued to the Blue Couch of Death.  He coined that term because HE picked out the couch and he finds it to be THE most comfortable couch in the world and it does tend to suck a dog or person in and well, a dog or person just has trouble getting off of it.  MOM, on the other hand prefers her Tilt-Back Recliner Chair, and has never been in love with the Blue Couch of Death, which is just fine with ME, Pennie, and Dad, of course.

Anhoodles, Dad spent most of the day glued to the blue, remote in hand, and there I was snuggled up behind his legs.

Until MOM had to ruin it all.  A commercial for "Male Baldness" or "Male Hair Loss" or some such came on TV.  Mom looked at Me.  I looked at Mom.  Yes.  She just had to say it:  "Maybe Pennie's Hair could be used to fill in Dad's thinning spots.  It would be constantly renewable since Penne sheds all the time, completely natural, and could just be died the correct color."

That was it.  No more Pennie snuggling with Dad.  And I didn't even do a thing!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Terrierist Attack and those Blasted Pacifists!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/654918</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:34:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/654918</guid>
		<description>This very afternoon I, Pennie, was on a walk with Mom, Dad, and the Wee Lass, when I witnessed a Ter ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This very afternoon I, Pennie, was on a walk with Mom, Dad, and the Wee Lass, when I witnessed a Terrierist Attack!  Yes, Rudy, the Jack Russel Terrierist that lives across the intersection from me had crossed the borders of his territory and was freely roaming the streets of Suburbia!

First off, do not think that I, Pennie, would simply "Profile" Rudy as a Terrierist simply because he is a Jack Russel Terrier.  Oh, no, Rudy has a long history of Terrierist Activities and is on the Terrierist Watch List.  His first act, when in the neighborhood but a scant few days was to bite Mom!  Yes, Mom had crossed the Border into Rudy's Territory on a Humanitarian Mission. A Humanitarian Mission to return Rudy's Human toddler brother who was out in the middle of the street, just waiting to be run over by a car.  For Mom's efforts, Rudy bit Mom on her leg, ruining her sweatpant.

But I digress.  Today, Rudy was out loose, clearly without a Visa, running amok in Suburbia!  Dad's first impulse was that Rudy must be returned at once to his own territory.  For cripes sake, show some back bone, I didn't realize Dad was a Pacifist!

Me?  With Eight or so inches of Snow on the ground I thought this was the perfect opportunity to SnowBoard Rudy.  SnowBoard him and find out what other Terrierist Activity threatens Suburbia.

As usual, the Pacifists one out.  Dad returned Rudy to his own territory, not with out an extensive exchange of threats between Rudy and I.  I reminded him that I watch him every day.  Sure, we both have our electronic collars forcing us to respect our borders, but if Rudy can breach his border, then by Dog, so can I if that is what I must do to keep Suburbia safe from the likes of him.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Terrierist Attack and those Blasted Pacifists!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/654917</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:33:20 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/654917</guid>
		<description>This very afternoon I, Pennie, was on a walk with Mom, Dad, and the Wee Lass, when I witnessed a Ter ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This very afternoon I, Pennie, was on a walk with Mom, Dad, and the Wee Lass, when I witnessed a Terrierist Attack!  Yes, Rudy, the Jack Russel Terrierist that lives across the intersection from me had crossed the borders of his territory and was freely roaming the streets of Suburbia!

First off, do not think that I, Pennie, would simply "Profile" Rudy as a Terrierist simply because he is a Jack Russel Terrier.  Oh, no, Rudy has a long history of Terrierist Activities and is on the Terrierist Watch List.  His first act, when in the neighborhood but a scant few days was to bite Mom!  Yes, Mom had crossed the Border into Rudy's Territory on a Humanitarian Mission. A Humanitarian Mission to return Rudy's Human toddler brother who was out in the middle of the street, just waiting to be run over by a car.  For Mom's efforts, Rudy bit Mom on her leg, ruining her sweatpant.

But I digress.  Today, Rudy was out loose, clearly without a Visa, running amok in Suburbia!  Dad's first impulse was that Rudy must be returned at once to his own territory.  For cripes sake, show some back bone, I didn't realize Dad was a Pacifist!

Me?  With Eight or so inches of Snow on the ground I thought this was the perfect opportunity to SnowBoard Rudy.  SnowBoard him and find out what other Terrierist Activity threatens Suburbia.


As usual, the Pacifists one out.  Dad returned Rudy to his own territory, not with out an extensive exchange of threats between Rudy and I.  I reminded him that I watch him every day.  Sure, we both have our electronic collars forcing us to respect our borders, but if Rudy can breach his border, then by Dog, so can I if that is what I must do to keep Suburbia safe from the likes of him.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Do-it-myself Dentistry</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/653940</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 8 Feb 2010 12:29:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/653940</guid>
		<description>Hmmph, I showed them.  Now Mom and Dad feel guilty and realize how much of myself I give to them, bu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hmmph, I showed them.  Now Mom and Dad feel guilty and realize how much of myself I give to them, but they give so little back to me.

One of my two Canine Teeth is broken.  Yep, the end is broken off.  I just arrived that way, so My Family has no idea how my tooth broke.  Oh, my mouth is still fully functional as any of the dead mice, moles, and a few bunny rabbits can, uh, no longer tell you.

Meanwhile, I have witnessed endless trips by My Family to The Dentist, and now The Orthodontist in the case of Little Lad.  Yet in all this time it hasn't occured to them that maybe I, Pennie, might like a little Cosmetic Dentistry?  Do they ever think how I feel about how my smile looks?  A Dog can't watch a day of TV without some commercial for Whiter Teeth, Straighter Teeth, or a Perfect Smile.  Yet day after day I must endure my Broken Smile, with My Family not even caring!

Well, today, Mom was upstairs and she heard me crunching on something hard.  She immediately got concerned and removed the item from my mouth.  It was a Tooth!  I was chewing on a Lost Tooth from Middle Lad that the Tooth Fairy dropped in the Tooth Fairy's haste to leave.  (The Tooth Fairy, knowing my keen hunting skills, flies in and out, and often leaves the teeth behind, just thankful to escape my jaws.)

Now Mom feels terrible.  There I, Pennie, was, trying to do my OWN Cosmetic Dentistry by adding Middle Lad's Molar to my Missing Canine Tooth.  And without the benefit of anesthesia; not even a whiff of nitrous oxide or a small jab of lidocaine.

I am certain I shall have a consult with Cosmetic Dentist very soon.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Politically Correct Hot Dogs.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/653026</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 4 Feb 2010 06:10:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/653026</guid>
		<description>Last night Dad was forced to make dinner.  

Let me back up, for it has been a week of Oddities.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Dad was forced to make dinner.  

Let me back up, for it has been a week of Oddities.  Mom came home from running errands with the Wee Lass on Monday feeling drab, downtrodden, and the thermometer proved:  febrile.  I, Nurse Pennie/Nannie Pennie, was forced to take over Complete Control of the House, as Dad was out of town.  Mom does not allow me to use the stove, and I am not capable of pouring milk, so Mom did manage to prepare simple meals for the Lads/Wee Lass, and to fix them cereal and drinks.  Oh, and Mom insisted on changing the Diaper Delights, mentioning something about me perhaps snacking upon them.  Certainly NOT, I was in Full PROFESSIONAL Pennie Mode.  

Meanwhile, I was busy Compressing Mom as much as possible, with the moist soothing vapors of my breath easing her congestion and the heat of my body aiding her body's immune processes.  Unfortunately, I do not produce nearly the amount of Gaseous Emmisions as Mulligan did, so I have to admit that I my Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors are mostly from my breath, and therefore I am not as good at clearing out Congestion as Mulligan was.

When Dad arrived home Wednesday night, he declared he was (gulp) making dinner.  Dad usually "orders" dinner.  Was I going to have to become Firedog Pennie?  Was Dad trained to use the Stove? 

Dad decided to make Pigs in a Blanket.  Why are Hot DOGS wrapped in Crescent Roll dough, then baked, called Pigs in a Blanket?  There is nothing PIG about it.  Especially as Dad was using All-Beef Kosher Hot Dogs.

With Mom's guidance yelled from the couch, and my over-seeing eyes, with one paw ready to break open the cabinet under the kitchen sink and grab the fire extinguisher, Dad did manage to make the Dogs in a Blanket.  And Macaroni and Cheese and Broccoli.  There I was watching the stove top, the oven,  AND the microwave, AND Compressing Mom, all at once.

That is when that old "Armour Hot Dog" got stuck in my already over-tasked brain.

"Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs
What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks
Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox
love hot dogs, Armour Dot Dogs
The dogs kids love to bite!"

Oh.
No, in this culture of Political Correctness, this Song would NOT pass muster.
Fat Kids?  Diabetes-at-risk children.
Skinny Kids?  Low BMI Children.
Tough Kids?  Bullies.
Sissy Kids?  No, that would be Children with a Social Anxiety Disorder, probably brought on by the previosly mentioned Kids.

AND Finally, Chicken Pox?  Who gets Chicken Pox anymore?  No, that had to go once Moms went back en force to work as no boss was going to let a Mom off for 10 days with one kid and then a week later 10 more days for her next kid while they waged war with Chicken Pox and enjoyed eating their Armour Hot Dogs.

Anyhoodles, back to Compressing Mom.

(Note from Mom:  Uh, Pennie was being a bit "dramatic" in her description of Dad's cooking.  He is a wonderful Grill Master and although he does not care for regular cooking, at no time was the Family in any danger.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>NO! to Reality TV</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651671</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 29 Jan 2010 06:45:57 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651671</guid>
		<description>Fellow Dogs, Reality TV is all the rage with the humans.  When it comes to curling up on the couch w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Fellow Dogs, Reality TV is all the rage with the humans.  When it comes to curling up on the couch with our favorite human to watch Reality TV that is fine, but Dogs:  We are above Reality TV.  We do not need to star in Reality TV!

Oh, sure dogs have a long history in television.  RinTinTin.  Lassie.  But those were STAGED.  RinTinTin and Lassie were never in any real danger.  After several hours of shooting they were given water, kibble, then crated and sent home with their trainer.

I am certainly not referring to the Video Clips that appear on Dogster Pages.  Notice I have none, zip, zero, nada, but that is because Dad has lost the Video Camera and still has vain hopes of finding it.  I am sure I shall be in an urn on the filing cabinet alongside Samson, Tyler and Mulligan,  by then.

No, what I am talking about dogs is Reality TV.  Like what the Humans are obsess upon.  Dogs, we are above that!  We do NOT need to stage a publicity stunk, such as the "Baloon Boy."  We do not need to attempt to produce the largest, or most, litters of pups, such as "The Duggar Family, 19 and Counting."  We do not need to document the ugly tragedy of Teen Pregnancy and motherhood as in "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom."

But Dogs, I am deeply concerned that our own brethren have succumbed to this; have become caught up in this cult genre of Reality TV.  What about Baltic, that Polish dog that became stuck on an Ice Floe?  Oh, sure he was "eventually" rescued, but was he assured of that?  I am certain that after spending endless evenings watching "Ice Road Truckers" with his family, he thought that he too, could venture out on the ice, dew claw a ride with a semi, and joy ride up to the Arctic and back.  But no, he ended up hungry, cold, ice-laden, stuck out on a patch of ice, close to death.  Was it really worth it to have his You Tube Video watched Endless Times by a Teary-Eyed World?  He was even on Fox News, for Dog Sake.

Then there is Vernon, the Dog that became caught in the Los Angeles River.  After years of watching footage of California Mud-Slides, California Wild Fires, and all the just plain DRAMA of California, poor Vernon just probably dreamed of becoming a Star himself.  And, what Dog doesn't dream of riding in a Human Ambulance, Sirens Wailing, but was it worth putting his own life at risk?  Sure the You Tube Video is a Pop Icon, but Vernon could just as easily, well, uh, drowned.  And is he getting any Royalties from all the times HIS Video is being shown on all the Television Broadcasts?

Dogs, we must not succumb to the HUMAN obsession with Reality TV.  We are above that.  Keep yourself safe.  It is tough enough being a Dog as it is.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Project Criticism</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651543</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 15:13:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651543</guid>
		<description>Mom has many projects.

Highest on her list is her Crochet Obsession.  Then her Wii Fat Plus Obses ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has many projects.

Highest on her list is her Crochet Obsession.  Then her Wii Fat Plus Obsession (although she is not losing any weight, which she blames on her meds, but I think she is just Fat.)

Mom's projects for today:  Grocery Store.  Toy Store for Treats for Oldest Lad's birthday party of Saturday.  Organizing Oldest Lad for doing his Science Fair experiment tomorrow by helping him gather supplies and forcing him to do research.  The usual Laundry, dish washer loading, yadda yadda.

OK, so this was Pennie's Project for today:  Lick my Arse.  Intently.

Why am I so criticized?  It's not like I am laying on the couch watching Soap Operas!  No, I am focusing on my project.  Enthusiastically.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>How Rude!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651084</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 26 Jan 2010 06:08:49 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/651084</guid>
		<description>This very morning, I was forced into the Great Outdoors to Take Care of Business.  I have mentioned  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This very morning, I was forced into the Great Outdoors to Take Care of Business.  I have mentioned before that Mom and Dad are currently planning to remodel not ONE, but TWO bathrooms.  Thus far, there are NO, I repeat NO plans to include an Indoor Backyard for Me, Pennie!  and any other Dog that would happen to come along.  This is an Agregious lack of respect!  This house has Four, yes Four Toilets!  Oh, don't think this is such a grand luxurious manor, Mulligan did not name it the "Mullgian Mansion," but the Mulligan Compound.  It simply has Four Toileting Rooms, None of which have an Indoor Backyard!  Two Bathrooms on the Top Level, with Shower and/or Bathing Facilities, one Toilet Sink only Room on the Main Level, and the Storm Toilet in the Basement.  The Storm Toilet is Black and Dad is the main user.  It is a scary place.  I do not want any Indoor Backyard put in there!

This morning dawned freezing with that cold, biting, icy type of snow, and the winds blustery and sharp.  Mom knew as soon as she opened the front door that I, Pennie would not want to venture out.  So she tricked me.  She opened the front door wide, called my name over and over, and as I came running down the staircase from my oh, so warm spot on her bed, she launched me out the front door.

I immediately squated for I "had to go." (Mom has an instinctual knowledge of this, she just knows these kind of things.)  No soon had the poop started to unfurl than a gust of wind pushed me over!  I had to scramble for footing on that icy turf and continue my pooping, gusts of wind and all.

And there Mom stood, peeking out the side windows LAUGHING AT ME.

How Rude.

I am so going to get even.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Redecorating</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/650397</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 22 Jan 2010 14:30:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/650397</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad are still trying to find a Contractor to remodel the two bathrooms upstairs.  Meanwhile, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad are still trying to find a Contractor to remodel the two bathrooms upstairs.  Meanwhile, I have lost interest, in fact have NO interest in the bathroom remodel project.  Really, that is why I set out to begin remodeling the basement, this past Wednesday, when I began to remove the carpet from the stairs.  As further testimony to my complete LACK of interest in this bathroom remodel project, I further protested by finding a Diaper Delight and enjoying in thoroughly while laying upon Oldest Lad's bed.  Unfortunately the Bed was made as Mom had just washed the linens and then remade the bed up.  My Diaper Delight Enjoyment was delectable, but Mom only had to wash the Comforter, as opposed to the last time, when Oldest Lad had to wash the sheets, blanket and Comforter, ALL before he could sleep in his bed again.

Why this Bathroom Project Ennui?  Oh, quite simple.  Two bathrooms are to be remodeled.  In all that remodeling one would just assume, presume, even that Dad could give some thought to installing an Indoor Backyard for ME, PENNIE.  Yes, with the record rainfall of 2009, and now the continued Rainfall (and snow to boot) in 2010, wouldn't one think that perhaps I, Pennie, might deserve a bit of space, in just ONE of the TWO bathroom remodels, for Indoor Toileting Purposes?

Oh, Mom is thoughtful (??) enough to insist on a hand-held shower head for HER bathroom for:  Dog Washing.  Oh, her thoughtfulness just slays me.  Dad only wants one shower head (the rain forest kind that converts to a rinsing stream) but Mom insists there must be TWO shower heads, therefore, so that she will be able to Rinse ME, Pennie, or any other Dog, thoroughly.

I, Pennie, plan to continue to commit displays of my antipathy towards the Bathroom Projects until Justice is served, and I get an Indoor Backyard.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Wait until your Father Comes Home! Or, it really wasn't MY fault!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/649997</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 20 Jan 2010 13:04:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/649997</guid>
		<description>Mom came home this afternoon, and immediately invoked that horrible Oral Argument that she has used  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom came home this afternoon, and immediately invoked that horrible Oral Argument that she has used so many times on the Lads:  "Just wait until your Father comes home!"  Not that Mom ever waits to mete out the punishments; it just means the Lads are in for a double dose when Dad walks in the door.

I, Pennie, have been under great duress!  The Massachusetts Senatorial Election.  The impending Double Dip Recession, which to my understanding is NOT like a double dip ice cream cone.  The complex issue of how male dogs can use "The Potty Patch."  The Earthquake in Haiti.

Anyhoodles, Mom and the Wee Lass left the house this morning.  I was left alone with Dad.  Then Dad left.  DAD, yes DAD, failed to ascertain where Pennie was before he left this humble compound.  I was left all alone in that horrible 1970s fake wood panelled basement!  First off, there is NO exit to the outside from the basement.  What if there was a fire?  And with Earthquakes the News Topic du Jour, what if there was an earthquake?  

I have been watching a great deal of War Movies with Mom, especially "The Band of Brothers," which she received for Christmas.  I immediately thought:  what do prisoners do?  Why, of course, prisoners tunnel their way out!

I set to work, at the top of the basement stairs, attempting to tunnel my way out.  It did not work.  NO, that blasted circa mid 1970s carpet got in the way.  As many pieces of carpet as I removed, I was still no further.  I was certain I would suffocate in that out-dated basement, fallen fake wood panelling all around me, and then one of the Lad's Tonka trucks somehow got turned on, so I had to listen to the endless beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, oh for Dog's sake why oh why were alkaline batteries invented?

Mom finally returned home and began to call for me.  As I was beginning to take my last breaths, she set me free!  She was, ah, surprised to say the least.  She found the Tonka truck and turned it off.  She was quiet.  Quiet is never a good sign; yelling is much better for it means it will be over soon.

Now I must work feverishly to explain myself before Dad gets home!

1.  I am under extreme stress due to all the endless bad news on TV.
2.  I was certain another Earthquake would strike and I would be buried under all that 1970s fake wood panelling.
3.  For Dogs sake that carpeting was U  G  L  Y!!!! anyway.
4.  It was Dad's fault for trapping me in the basement.

I am certain that I shall no longer be Dad's Princess.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>How embarassing.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/649010</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 15 Jan 2010 14:07:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/649010</guid>
		<description>Mom sent the picture of me modeling my sweater off to the creators of the sweater pattern and they p ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom sent the picture of me modeling my sweater off to the creators of the sweater pattern and they posted Me, Pennie, on their website.

How embarassing.

This is the site:  crochetnmore/thedoghouse

It also has a link to the pattern, if anyone wants to know how to make the sweater.  Now Mom says she is going to make me a NEW sweater, cuz that first one is really easy to get on and off, much easier than any of my fleece dog coats, and it is completely washable as it is made with (gasp) Acrylic Yarn.  Yes, I would have preferred Wool or Cotton, certainly not Angora, I may EAT bunnies, but I do Not want a sweater made from bunnies.

I am beginning to understand why once children get to a certain age they no longer want to be seen with their Mothers.  (Unless they need money.)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Protester, NOT Slacker</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648843</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:15:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648843</guid>
		<description>This very morning my Mom and my Dad accused ME, Pennie, of being a SLACKER!  I dare to disagree.

 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This very morning my Mom and my Dad accused ME, Pennie, of being a SLACKER!  I dare to disagree.

This morning I refused to get up and go downstairs with Mom as she cajoled, prodded, and motivated Middle Lad in his mission to get off to Public School.  Originally Dad said he would get up, but after waking Middle Lad, Dad immediately got into the Shower, forgetting all about his important Mission.  Dad is Pleasant in the morning, but before Coffee, forgetful.  Mom, however, is NOT Pleasant in the morning, but never forgetful.  Mom remembered full well that it was most important to get Middle Lad smoothly out the door, teeth brushed, armpits deoderized, breakfast consumed, and above all else, that extended release attention pill swallowed.

Me, Pennie?  I sneaked myself off into Oldest Lad's empty bed (he presumably being at The Structure,) curled up into a Pennie Nest and Protested.

I, Pennie am a Standard American Brown Dog.  American.  I may not know WHEN I was born, may not know WHERE, but I do know that an American Shelter took me in when I was lost and hungry.

Today Middle Lad was reporting to Public School to take his First High School Semester Exam.  Yes, this Public School forces Middle School students to take High School courses, even down to this very course which I am protesting.

This Tax-Payer Funded, yes Tax-Payer Funded, Public School District is indoctrinating the students in a cult, that group of math terror known as Al-Gebra.  I am astounded that Mom, whose Father (may his soul rest in peace) was a decorated World War II Naval Veteran, is with full knowledge allowing Middle Lad to join and participate in Al-Gebra.

Today was Middle Lad's first Semester Exam, determining his first Al-Gebra grade, which counts for a High School Grade.  Mom made a calculated effort to aid his success in Al-Gebra!
I, Pennie, am a Protester NOT a Slacker!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Brown Bag Fallout</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648687</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:09:31 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648687</guid>
		<description>How does a dog know when to delve into the contents of a brown paper bag?  This past Saturday, in a  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ How does a dog know when to delve into the contents of a brown paper bag?  This past Saturday, in a sincere effort to protect my family I investigated the contents of a brown bag that Dad left in the family room/kitchen (open floor plan.)  With all the news about Terror Alerts, I was certain that it must contain an Improvised Explosive Device, for a strange smell was emanating from it, and it had been left completely unsupervised by an unreliable person, that being Dad.

By Dog was I correct about the Improvised Explosive Device!  The Peanut Butter Pine Cone Bird Feeder that I Dismantled all over the Rugs (with no regard to my own safety,) wreaked terrible havoc amongst the house due to Middle Lad's Peanut Allergy.  Now, both rugs have been hauled off to be Professionally cleaned.  The Family does indeed have a Carpet Cleaner, but the instructions dictate it is only to be used on "Carpets," not "Rugs" and these certain "Rugs" lay upon hardwood floor that could be damaged if for some reason the instructions Really, Really, DO mean:  Carpets ONLY, NOT Rugs.  So Mom and Dad do not clean the "Rugs" with the carpet cleaner in fear of injuring the Hardwood.

Anyhoodles, Mom went to the Grocery Store Today.  What did she bring home:  Brown Paper Bags.  Said bags contained the most wondrous items, none of which were remotely dangerous to Middle Lad; well, unless he drank the Shampoo.  I steered clear of those brown bags, having had enough of brown bags for the time being.

The Fallout that I am most concerned about from the Pine Cone Peanut Incident is this:  Moving Furniture.  Yes, it seems that those Rugs provided much more than just a comfortable place for me to lie down, and a place to catch crumbs for me to dine upon.  The Rugs anchored the furniture.  Yes, there is a serious case of Moving Furniture going on in my Family Room/Kitchen.  As soon as someone sits upon the couch:  it moves.  The Tilt-Back Chair has now been pushed all the way to the way (so it can't recline) but as soon as I climb into Mom's Lap, the Ottoman slides away from under her legs and SPLAT!  I miss and land on the floor.  It is even difficult to snatch a taste of Little Lad's dinner because just as I get my head over the Tray Table, it moves!

I am NOT going to sign up to be one of those Bomb Sniffing dogs.  Oh, sure all that Airport Furniture is bolted to the floor, but I am taking no chances.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie vs Dad vs Mom or It seemed like a good idea at the time.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648141</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:04:57 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/648141</guid>
		<description>Pennie's version of events as they unfolded on Saturday:

Mom and Dad left with the entire family. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pennie's version of events as they unfolded on Saturday:

Mom and Dad left with the entire family.  I, Pennie, was left alone, in charge of the Interior and Exterior of the Compound.  First, I polished off a box of Busken Cookies.  They deserved to be polished off, without merit of slow savoring after label-reading discovered they are made with artifical vanilla!  For Dog's sake, one does expect a Bakery to use Authentic Vanilla!  Mom only brings Authentic Vanilla into the home for her baking, which may be why her cookies are such savory morsels.

Then my keen Pennie Nose detected a plain brown bag which was emanating a rare, unusual smell.  I immediately thought:  Improvised Explosive Device!  Turns out, my thoughts were not far from Reality.  Inside was:  A Peanut Butter Bird Feeder.  Yes, SOMEONE, had brought the Forbidden Legume into the house in the form of a Pinecone slathered with the Forbidden Legume and then doused in Bird Seed.  Bird Seed coincidentally has MORE of the Forbidden Legume in it (just read the label.)

My Nurse Pennie Mode immediately sprang into action as I realized I MUST DESTROY THAT PEANUT BUTTER BIRD FEEDER!  Middle Lad is Highly Peanut Allergic.  With no thought of my own safety, I released that Time Bomb from it's plain wrappings, and proceeded to try to LICK ALL the Peanut Butter OFF.

Alas, Peanut Butter is NOT an easy Target to Dismantle and soon there was Bird Seed and Peanut Butter:

All over the Family Room Rug.  And, uh, other places too.

Dad's version of the story:  Uh, Dad is in the Dog House right now, and needless to say, if in the off chance he and Little Lad ever go to an Indian Guide Meeting and Peanut Butter Bird Feeders perhaps are constructed, well, said Bird Feeder will NOT accidentally make it's way into the house.

MOM:  Well, Mom has these Hazel-Green eyes, which get Greener when she is Upset.  I, Pennie, knew they turned Green-ER, but I did not know they could actually turn into Laser Beams, Shoot Sparks, and Emit Death Rays.  When Mom and Dad came home, the whole house smelled of that Forbidden Legume.  Dad immediately turned pale as he realized that the brown bag intended for Dog knows what had ended up inside the house.  Dad went off to retrieve the Lads from Taekwondo and Middle Lad was quarantined to the basement.  Everyone else ended up in the basement as well, as Mom set to work cleaning every surface, from the toys, to the furniture (thank Dog for Leather) to the floors, on her hands and knees, using a multitude of fresh paper towels so no "peanut buttery" contaminated water was spread.  Dad removed the two contaminated rugs and took them off in the truck to be professionally cleaned.

Will I, Pennie, learn to NOT put my nose into trouble?  Will Mom forgive Dad?  Will Dad forgive Mom?  Will anyone forgive Pennie?  Who knew that a Peanut Butter Bird Feeder was really an Improvised Explosive Devise?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Weather Confusion</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647548</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 8 Jan 2010 11:02:36 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647548</guid>
		<description>Yesterday, all of Suburbia, even the City of Cincinnati itself suffered a Horrendous Winter Storm, a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday, all of Suburbia, even the City of Cincinnati itself suffered a Horrendous Winter Storm, a White Death of well over Three, yes Three Inches!  Some places even got Four!  Public School was closed of course.  Those students lucky enough to have pawrents who love them enough to send them to Private School had the day off as well.

How could Suburbia and The City be shut down by just Three Inches?

I am stunned.  I enjoyed the snow, and still am as it has not thawed yet.  Mom bundled me up in a coat and I ran and played in that fluffy white stuff.  Oh, I act like a coward when I just have to "do my business," but when it's playtime, I'm all for it.

In my search for why Three Inches of Snow could shut down Cincinnati, I discovered something interesting.  I tried putting MY Zipcode into the Weather Channel.  Hmm.  No Weather Alert, Advisory; just snow showers, maybe One Inch.  I then put in the next Zipcode over, which is ONE MILE Away, and THAT Unlucky (or Lucky) Zipcode had a full-fledged advisory and was expecting 3 to 6 inches.

For Dog's Sake, if a Snow Storm can be so smart as to Dump 1 inch on one Zip Code, but 3 to 6 inches on a Zip Code ONE mile away, then why can't that Snow Storm just Deposit the snow OFF the roads?

It doesn't matter regardless, because the snow in MY 0.6 acres of Suburbia came a good 4 inches up my lovely paws and legs.  And with this lovely Arctic Chill, yea baby, the Poopsicle Man came!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mitten Tag</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647327</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 7 Jan 2010 10:15:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647327</guid>
		<description>I discovered a great new game today!  Middle Lad and Little Lad are home from school due to the Whit ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I discovered a great new game today!  Middle Lad and Little Lad are home from school due to the White Death.  Three Inches of Snow in Cincinnati TriState is enough to shut the whole MetroPlex down.  Funny, Mom said that when she and Dad drove to Chicago over Christmas Break, over Six Inches accumulated in one afternoon, and everyone was functioning just fine . . . .

Anyhoodle, I discovered a great new game to play out in the snow!  I run up behind an unsuspecting character and snatch their mitten!  Then run away with it!  I shake shake shake that dead mitten in my mouth, and everytime those cold, frost-bitten fingers make a grab for it, I run away!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Overworked Pennie!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647145</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 6 Jan 2010 12:33:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/647145</guid>
		<description>Monday night I was kept terribly busy in my role as Nurse Pennie.  It was a long, rough night.  At 1 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Monday night I was kept terribly busy in my role as Nurse Pennie.  It was a long, rough night.  At 1:31 am Little Lad came into Mom and Dad's room, waking ME from my sound slumber upon the Concrete Queen to let Mom and Dad know that he had Erupted, Exploded, even.  Dad tried his best to cower under the blankets, but the sheer destructive forces that Little Lad had unleashed in the bedroom he shares with Middle Lad forced Dad to emerge from his denial and attend to Little Lad while Mom attempted Clean Up.

Mom is certain that Little Lad would have achieved a Perfect 10 for Middle of the Night Vomiting, if it weren't for those Pesky Russian Judges, always low-scoring the Americans.  Instead, Little Lad came in at a score of 9.34 for his combination of Short-Course, Distance, and Destruction.

As Dad is not capable of taking care of a sick child, I, Nurse Pennie, was forced to join Dad in attending to Little Lad.  I sat with Dad for long hours, nudging Dad awake at every moan and groan from Little Lad.

Meanwhile, Mom set to work.  Around 3:30 am she took a bag of trash out to the curb, as (thankfully!) it was trash night.  That is when she noticed a strange, fresh set of Paw Prints!

Indeed, as I, Nurse Pennie, was attending to Little Lad, there was an Incursion on the Western and Southern Borders of my 0.6 Acres of Suburbia!  How dastardly skillful of this Intruder to choose just the moment when I was not looking, called away by my Nurse Duties, to commit this cowardly act!

There in the snow was the clear evidence:  long trails of Paw Prints, about the size of my own paws, but clearly not mine, as I, Pennie, had been inside!  Who was this Fiendish Prowler?  Was it simply Gunnar, that Blue-Eyed Husky Hound who regularly escapes his own compound?  Or was it some other Hound, or a Coyote, out with Ill Intent and Fell Purpose while I was otherwise occupied?

I slept little Monday night.  Once Mom had done what she could with the "clean up," she showered, relieved a much relieved Dad of his duties, and settled down to care for Little Lad.  I was then on Double Duty as Nurse Pennie and Guard Pennie after she relayed her Paw-Print findings.

Really, I should earn extra benefits, shouldn't I?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kennel Talk</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/645685</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 30 Dec 2009 17:00:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/645685</guid>
		<description>Here I am, Pennie, stuck at the kennel, while the family spends time in Chicago!  And, this is IT fo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Here I am, Pennie, stuck at the kennel, while the family spends time in Chicago!  And, this is IT for Oldest Lad.  I thought the shredded Diaper Delight left in his bed served as warning, but I am seriously considering switching to being "Mom's Dog" from being "Oldest Lad's Dog."

What would send Pennie over the brink to take such drastic measures?  Did I mention that I am at the Kennel?  Oh, sure I am signed up for not One, but Two, Nature Hikes, and perhaps some crafts or merit badges, time permitting.  Meanwhile Oldest Lad is AT HOME.  He abandoned me.  The family left for Chicago, but Oldest Lad stayed AT HOME, purportedly to "work."  Hmmph.  He was asked:  "Do you want Pennie to be at the Kennel or do you want to take care of her?"  Oh sure, I do get a bit, well, nervous, anxious, perhaps prone to a bit of destruction when the family goes away, but all he would need to do is put me in the Crate every time he left the house.

Apparently, putting me in the crate, feeding me kibble, and perhaps letting me out a few times each day are  far too difficult tasks for Oldest Lad, despite me, Pennie, never leaving his side while caring for HIM through two knee surgeries and recovery!

On a higher note, Mom did visit Naperville, Illinois with it's hoity toity stores.  In addition to purchasing some superior grade vanilla (can we say bring on those sugar cookies!) at a Spice Store, Mom at least did not forget me, Pennie.

Mom sent me a p-mail that she bought me a tres faboo harness, brown with pink polka dots.  I am anxious to view my gift and let MOM walk with me while I wear it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Christmas at the Big Table</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/644735</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 25 Dec 2009 20:51:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/644735</guid>
		<description>I was not too happy that Other Woman ate Christmas Dinner with us.  Plus, she was Double Dipping.  Y ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was not too happy that Other Woman ate Christmas Dinner with us.  Plus, she was Double Dipping.  Yep.  She and Oldest Lad ate at the Other Woman's house, and then came over and ate again at MY house!  Mom didn't make a huge dinner though, cause she spent most of the afternoon baking cookies and did not feel like dirtying up even more dishes.

While Mom doled out all that cookie dough, I napped with Dad as he watched the first of many, many episodes of his complete boxed set of Monty Python shows.

Anyhoodles, when dinner finally came around, the whole family ate grilled steaks, except for Middle Lad, who wanted leftover hamburgers.  (He always has been a bit odd.) He did not finish his hamburger.  Then he quickly left the table to go back to playing with his Christmas presents.

Much to my surprise, Mom cut up Middle Lad's Used Hamburger (should I have been offended that it was used, perhaps Pre-Owned is a better description??) and then put it back in Middle Lad's spot.  Then, Me, Pennie, got to sit in Middle Lad's Chair and eat with the rest of the family!

I was so shocked that I forgot to use my utensils, or put my napkin on my lap, but I was wearing my new Christmas Bandana about my neck, so hopefully no one noticed my lapse in manners.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pre-Christmas Syndrome, PCS</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/643292</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:35:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/643292</guid>
		<description>Tension is beginning to mount here; there seems to be an alarming case of PCS:  Pre Christmas Syndro ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Tension is beginning to mount here; there seems to be an alarming case of PCS:  Pre Christmas Syndrome.

Pawsonally, my thirst for revenge at Other Woman for dominating the time of Oldest Lad has overtaken any desire I might have to remain on the Nice List.  Oh, sure, I'd like to have some New toys and maybe some treats, but really, I know I'll still get kibble, treats from the tray of Wee Lass, and I can steal toys from the Lads.

Little Lad, who CARES whether he is on the Naughty List or Nice List, is running a serious case of PCS.  He does not seem to be bloated, craving chocolate, or not able to fit into his jeans.  He IS however smitten with a ravenous case of Bad Behavior.  By 10:00 am this morning he was already on Mom's "Bad Side."  By 4:00 pm he was sent to sit in the corner and not being without some mercy, Mom did allow him to take a book with him to his cell.

I, Pennie, have been avoiding Little Lad.  Really, I'd hate to see him Remanded over to the Naughty List at this late date.  How long before Christmas does Santa wait to make his final decisions?  Has PCS been recognized as a True Mental and/or Physical Disorder, allowing a child and dogs some dispensation or accomodation?  I know my Birthday-Cake Eating Episode did not Qualify under any of the symptoms of PCS, but at this late date, what are the qualifying terms? 

Meanwhile, I am plotting my next attemt at revenge at Oldest Lad and Other Woman and Avoiding Little Lad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New way to get even.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/643042</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:00:55 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/643042</guid>
		<description>Several days ago I chewed up a Wee Lass Diaper Delight on Oldest Lad's Bed as a way of expressing my ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Several days ago I chewed up a Wee Lass Diaper Delight on Oldest Lad's Bed as a way of expressing my displeasure.  Oldest Lad had to wash his sheets, blanket and comforter.  Still, Other Woman has been at our home several times this week, and Oldest Lad has been sorely neglecting me.

I came up with a new way to exact revenge:

This past Spring, Oldest Lad had his knee repaired for the second time, same knee.  Both times he tore the ACL, had it repaired, and then went through several months of physical therapy.  He can now do most activities, but the knee remains a bit bothersome.

This morning I napped for several hours on the repaired knee.

Yep, after waking up from me sleeping on his knee Oldest Lad could barely hobble.

I, Pennie, believe I am beginning to get my point across.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kissing UP</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642884</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:20:45 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642884</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad tried to Kiss Up to me today by taking me for a hike.  Only I saw right through it.  He w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad tried to Kiss Up to me today by taking me for a hike.  Only I saw right through it.  He went for a run down by the Little Miami River.  He kept telling Mom how Fat she is, until she caved and went along with his little "Ruse."  Oh, yeah, he took me, as in he "drove" me to the Trail, but once there he put on his running shoes and ditched me to walk with the Fat Mom.  

Mom got a head start while Oldest Lad stretched.  Then he overtook us and went running on ahead.  I immediately started trying to pull Mom so I could chase Oldest Lad.  I was certain if I could just get her to RUN, that Oldest Lad would be around the next bend.  Eventually Mom said it was time to turn around, and I gave up on Oldest Lad for a bit and figured I might as well just try to work on toning Mom's thighs and hips instead of dislocating her shoulder.  Then Oldest Lad Raced by us again, and I decided to work on Mom's shoulder again.

Oldest Lad beat us to the end of the trail, not by much, since Mom turned around at about the right time.  No.  This does not count as spending quality time with Pennie.  Oh, sure I spent some quality time with Mom, and probably some more tonight as she ends up having to ICE that shoulder, with me comfortably in her lap, but does Oldest Lad really think I didn't figure out his ruse?  He got his run in and thought "oh, sure, the shelter dog won't figure it all out."  It's going to take more than driving me to the Trail for a walk with Mom to get back in my good graces.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie not invited.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642229</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Dec 2009 07:45:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642229</guid>
		<description>Last night Other Woman stopped by just as Mom, Oldest Lad and the rest of the family were returning  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night Other Woman stopped by just as Mom, Oldest Lad and the rest of the family were returning home from the grocery store.  And here I thought I was safe from her until Friday, when her Semester is officially over.  Doesn't she have Chemistry to study for?

Other Woman stayed and watched TV and movies with Mom and Oldest Lad.  Mom finally got tired and went to bed.  Less than half hour later, I, Pennie, was sent up to bed with Mom.  When I came downstairs this morning, I discovered that after I went to bed, Oldest Lad and Other Woman made Chicken Wings and Slice and Bake Cookies!  

Pennie Not Invited!  Oh, sure it's not like Slice and Bake Cookies are anything like Mom's Homemade Goodness Cookies, but still, I could have been offered a Wing and a Cookie, seeing as they clearly not only did not eat them all, but the remainders were left out to rub in my face that I was sent off to bed and not invited.

The Diaper Delight shredded in Oldest Lad's bed clearly did not make it's intended point.  I shall have to go further; I thought a shredded Diaper Delight in Oldest Lad's bed was even worse than the old Poo in the Shoe expression of disdain.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A little Miffed.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642023</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:25:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/642023</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am a little Miffed at Oldest Lad.  First off, he is indeed going to the Sugar Bowl for Ne ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am a little Miffed at Oldest Lad.  First off, he is indeed going to the Sugar Bowl for New Years, abandoning Me, Pennie.  Second off, he went up to visit Other Woman at her University on Saturday, when OW should have been studying for Exams, instead of Oldest Lad coming home to ME, Pennie.  Oldest Lad was already done with his exams.  While visiting Other Woman, he and SHE read all my Diary Entries that include entries about HER.  Yes.  They did some sort of fancy search and found all the "Other Woman" Entries and not only is Other Woman now threatening me with a Slander Lawsuit, but well, it's just generally wrong.  I may Sue Other Woman for Stalking.

Well.  I, Pennie, with great risk of being Remanded over to the Naughty List, took Revenge!

I carefully selected a Wee Lass Diaper Delight and I shredded it on top of Oldest Lad's Bed!  Heh, Heh, Heh, Oldest Lad had to wash his sheets, comforter, blankets, all of it to get rid of all that Diaper Delight!

Revenge, Sweet, Revenge, and then last night Oldest Lad was finally home from "The Structure" but I slept all night firmly ensconced with Mom and Dad on the Concrete Queen.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Santa Suspicion</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/641861</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Dec 2009 11:21:14 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/641861</guid>
		<description>Mom forced me to submit to a picture with Santa Claus today.  I just can't help but be filled with a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom forced me to submit to a picture with Santa Claus today.  I just can't help but be filled with a bit of Santa Suspicion.  

My first Christmas here, I was on the "Naughty List."  Everything was going along just fine until the second week of December.  It was the day after Middle Lad's birthday and I ate ALL of his leftover Birthday Cake.  Mom had to call the Emergency Vet Clinic and explain to them approximately how much I, Pennie, weighed, which flavor of Duncan Hines Cake Mix and Frostings she had used, and explain that I had consumed well over half of the cake.  Apparently, a 46 pound dog can indeed consume almost an entire Duncan Hines Marble Cake, with Vanilla Frosting, and maintain Life, if not a flattering figure.  I was informed that consuming the Birthday Cake of one's brother, only a few days before Christmas, just pushes one over onto that Naughty List with no hope of recompense in time for Christmas Eve.

My second Christmas here I was shut into Oldest Lad's room on Christmas Eve, while Mulligan was shut into Mom and Dad's Room, lest we disturb that "Jolly" Old Elf.  Mulligan had a "thing" for Mythical Creatures attempting to gain access to the house; indeed Mulligan had a "thing" for ALL Creatures attempting to gain access to the house.  For the safety of Santa Claus and the Safety of the Psyche of Middle Lad, Little Lad, and Wee Lass, it was deemed best for there to be Zero contact of Santa Claus and Mulligan or Pennie.

Even now, it is December 13th and I still wonder, am I Naughty or Nice?  Or considering the Birthday Cake Incident, what Fell Deed can I commit that will dash all the Good Deeds of 2009 to dust and push me into the Naughty List anyway?

In my approach to Santa Claus this afternoon, I initially hesitated.  I finally gave in; at this late date I really don't have much to lose.  Still what type of Elf is this Santa Claus who would render a dog "Naughty," her very first Christmas in her home, fresh from the Shelter, over one misdeed?  Okay, there may have been a few other misdeeds I have pushed to the back of my mind.  Isn't Christmas supposed to be about Love?  If Santa truly held the Lads to their level of Naughtiness, which trust me, far exceeds mine; then there wouldn't even be a point to putting up a Christmas tree!

I am still not sure I will get any gifts from Santa for Christmas, but I suppose I shall just have to be Okay with that.  Perhaps Mythical Creatures are just not Stable, and like the toys that Santa is known for giving, like to "toy" with dogs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>See Mom, it's no fun!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/641332</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:16:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/641332</guid>
		<description>Yesterday there was a Hazardous Flying Holiday Decorations Warning all over the Cincinnati Area.  Th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday there was a Hazardous Flying Holiday Decorations Warning all over the Cincinnati Area.  There were wind gusts up to 60 miles per hour!  To quote that verbose snow man in "Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer," the weather was "not fit for man nor beast."

Still, I was booted outside and forced to "do my business."  In fact, most of this week I have had to be forced outside as the weather preceeding the Flying Holiday Decorations was Rain.  Then today the temperatures dropped!  The high today is 24 degrees.

I have taken to scooting out the front door, taking care of business, and coming right back in; or else staring in the front windows looking pitiful.  Mom has had to shut the doggie door to the back porch or I will simply go out the back door and immediately end up on the back porch, still full of "business."  This scooting out the front door has led to a large accumulation of Poop just in front of the front walkway.

When some Packages arrived today Mom was most embarrassed to notice this large accumulation of poop (hey, it could have been worse:  it could have been flying all over the yard and neighborhood along with the Holiday Decorations.)  Mom greeted the Package Delivery Person Halfway up the yard so he did not soil his shoes, which he would not have done, because by now the Poop was all Poopsicles!

Mom immediately went outside to Pick Up Poop.  Unfortunately she discovered that with the combination of Rain, then Ice, the Poopsicles were Frozen Firmly to the Ground.  She had to Chip away at them, all the while freezing her Fingers to the bone.  With Cincinnati's notoriously ever-changing weather, Mom did not want the Poopsicles to "Thaw" and then turn to mush, so she chose to Chip Away at them regardless of her Numb Bag-Encased Fingers.  (Yes, I know she could have put on gloves.)

I, Pennie, have Zero, yes Zero, sympathy for Mom's Frozen Fingers.  After all, I, Pennie have been the one with a Wet Fannie, then a Wind Franny, then a Frozen Fanny!  Trust me it is quite hard to concentrate on squatting when a Dog is afraid that at any moment a large plastic Santa, born aloft by a gust of wind, is going to attack a poor dog.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>My day out Pupdate part Two</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640705</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 7 Dec 2009 12:34:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640705</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad says the Bearcats shall be playing their Bowl Game at the Sugar Bowl, in New Orleans.  He ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad says the Bearcats shall be playing their Bowl Game at the Sugar Bowl, in New Orleans.  He has to decide if he shall be attending the Sugar Bowl, or staying at home, here with ME, Pennie, and watch the game on TV.  Or perhaps we can watch the game together at someone else's house.

Certainly I want Oldest Lad to be happy, but, New Orleans?  I know what happens in New Orleans.  I have heard terrible rumors of the sins of Bourbon Street.  No.  I do not want Oldest Lad on Bourbon Street.  What  if he runs into some Louisiana Hussy Dog, laying down in the middle of Bourbon Street for him to rub her Belly?

No.  I must use my Pennie Wiles to come up for a reason for Oldest Lad to stay home and stay away from any Sugar-Bowl Pep-Rallied Hussies, Dog or Human.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pupdate over my Day Out.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640406</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 6 Dec 2009 06:42:01 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640406</guid>
		<description>I survived my afternoon at Oldest Lad's &quot;Structure.&quot;
Thank Dog I was there!  I am certain my presen ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I survived my afternoon at Oldest Lad's "Structure."
Thank Dog I was there!  I am certain my presence rooting on the Bearcats is what led the Bearcats to beat Pittsburg in that Paw-biting game with a final score of 45-44.  Oh, so the game was in Pittsburg, and I was in Cincinnati; I KNOW it was me, watching the game, sending out my natural Herding Instincts, that pushed the Bearcats ON.

I thoroughly investigated Oldest Lad's structure.  I was, well, er, not overly impressed.  I was quite relieved to come home.  I was then NOT happy that The Family proceeded to take Oldest Lad and one of his Housemates OUT to dinner and guess who was forced to stay at home?  Yes, Me, Pennie, after all I had done for the Home Team.

Still, here's my conundrum.  I wanted Oldest Lad to be happy!  for his team to win!  Now I find out that he may want to go to a Bowl Game to watch the BearCats!  No.  I want him to spend his entire Christmas vacation home with Me, Pennie, working at the Y, and then returning to me every night and sleeping with me (besides, my back could use some relief from sleeping on the Concrete Queen with Mom and Dad.)

I shall have to come up with a PLAN to convince him to NOT go to a Bowl Game.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Out for the Day.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640227</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Dec 2009 07:51:39 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/640227</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad stopped by bright and early this morning after coaching swim practice.  He woke me up!
 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad stopped by bright and early this morning after coaching swim practice.  He woke me up!

Then he asked if I wanted to go spend the weekend at "The Structure" with him.  I think the look of sheer terror in my eyes made him hastily change that to, perhaps just the afternoon, to watch the football game.

Mom promised she would come get me if I showed any unusual signs of "duress."

I immediately thought of fire.  Oldest Lad assured me there are working smoke alarms, Dad himself purchased a fire extinguisher, Mom sent an emergency fire escape ladder over (our own, then she had to buy a new one for us, leaving us fire escape ladder-less for nigh on two weeks,) and there is even a brand new oven.

I think I can do this.  I can't Text Mom if I need to come home:  to save money Mom doesn't have Texting on her phone.  I will just have to hope that if I DO want to come home Oldest Lad will obey my wishes.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sales Call</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639990</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 Dec 2009 07:03:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639990</guid>
		<description>Today, I, Pennie, have the esteemed honor of being a Diary Pick of the Day.
Today, Dad, is taking a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today, I, Pennie, have the esteemed honor of being a Diary Pick of the Day.
Today, Dad, is taking a College Student out on a sales call.  Dad received a most urgent call last night from the Father of one of Middle Lad's Boy Scout Troop Pals.  Seems the Fiance of this Father's daughter (not in the troop) had put off until the Semester's End, the Course Requirement of Tagging Along on a Sales Call with a Salesperson.

Well.
Seeing as I am a Diary Pick of the Day, Dad's very OWN Dog, shouldn't I, Pennie, get to GO on the Sales Call?  Certainly my beauty, my friendliness, and my stunning personality would add to the Sales Process.

What's that Dad?

"NO!"

Fine.  I don't take back all those posts about hoping you get your own bed for the Garage, leaving the Concrete Queen for Mom and Me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not on MY Christmas List</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639888</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 3 Dec 2009 17:00:09 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639888</guid>
		<description>I passed the local Pet Groomers while out on errands:

&quot;Christmas Special:  Bath $15.&quot;

Uh, a BA ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I passed the local Pet Groomers while out on errands:

"Christmas Special:  Bath $15."

Uh, a BATH is NOT on my Christmas List.  And I certainly expect Mom to spend more than fifteen dollars on me!  She owes me that if she expects me to keep quiet about all the gifts she has bought for the other family members AND where they are hidden.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No, I was NOT Amused.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639260</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Dec 2009 08:16:15 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/639260</guid>
		<description>After I came home from the Camp Kennel on Saturday Mom forced me to submit to the Ritual Bathing.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ After I came home from the Camp Kennel on Saturday Mom forced me to submit to the Ritual Bathing.  It's so irritating.  One of the best part of going to the Kennel is coming home and then getting to savor the smells lingering on oneself for the next hours, until one is forced to part with them forever, as they are sudsed down the drain.

Anyhoodle, after the Ritual Bathing, I was shoved into my Crate for the Ritual Drying.  It was rather cold outside and Mom did not want me to catch a chill.  I made it quite clear to the family that I, Pennie was NOT happy about being in my Crate.  I offered up frequent whimpers of suffering and pathetic mews.

The family ignored my suffering and ate lunch.  Normally I clean off the high chair tray of the Wee Lass.  Of course, being confined in the upstairs hallway, it was rather difficult for me to perform my post-lunch duties.

Then Mom came upstairs:

Mom:  "Crate Service!  Crate Service!  Did some Dog order Crate Service?"

Oh, how humiliating.  Mom brought the Tray up to me, in my crate.

Not Amusing.

As soon as Mom opened the Crate Door I wedged myself out.  Oh, yeah, I did take a few token bites of leftovers from the tray, but I used that as an opportunity to say "Outta Here!"

Crate Service.  I'll give that Woman some Crate Service.  Hmmph.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Where's my Thanksgiving Nature Walk?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/638518</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:10:28 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/638518</guid>
		<description>Here I am spending my Thanksgiving Holiday at Camp Kennel.  Honestly, it's probably better this way. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Here I am spending my Thanksgiving Holiday at Camp Kennel.  Honestly, it's probably better this way.  The family headed to Grandma's House and Grandma has the most evilest Cat ever.  It is probably Satan's Angel Incarnate.  Poor Tyler (a few dogs ago) was the first and only Family Dog to encounter this Devil Spawn.  Tyler was a Gentle Soul.  He had already met several neighborhood cats with few problems so naturally Mom and Dad were not worried about him meeting Grandma's New Cat.  Previously, Mom and Dad had always brought Samson up to Cleveland, when the previous cat, Micha, was alive, and Samson and Micha got along just fine.  Micha and Samson had unfortunately both passed to the Rainbow Bridge.  Mom and Dad acquired Tyler, and Grandma acquired Devil's Spawn.

Tyler entered Grandma's House.  Tyler walked up to Devil's Spawn and politely said "Hello."  Devil's Spawn hissed, clawed, and then climbed, yes, literally climbed the wall of the living room.  Envision "Tony Hawk" and a fancy Half Pipe Skate Board Move and one can envision this Devil Spawn climbing the wall.  The wall was wall-papered and there were cat claw marks all the way to the 20 foot ceiling. (One of those "tall" living rooms from the early 60s.)  Devil Spawn had made it clear that No Dogs were welcome anymore at Grandma's.

Anyhoodle, I was safely ensconced to spend my Thanksgiving at Camp Kennel.  Oh, I put up a good show for Mom; as soon as the packing commenced I began to look forlorn and even hid in her bathroom as Dad tried to corral me into the car.  Once I got to Camp Kennel I happily took off to the "back" to enjoy my stay.  I did not even wave good-bye to Dad.

Camp Kennel now offers "Nature Hikes."  They used to be billed as "Walks."  Camp Kennel is on 18 acres of the few remaining wooded and serene land left of this part of Suburbia.  No doubt these "Nature Hikes" are just the "Walks" of yesteryear, but one must keep up with the marketing ploys of today, and they are now billed as "Nature Hikes," which I suppose they always were considering the trees and weeds.

Dad Did NOT sign me up for ANY Nature Hikes.  Zero.  Zip.  Nada.  C'Mon, Dad, if I have to spend Thanksgiving at Camp Kennel can't I at least have a Nature Hike?  He claimed I would only be at Camp Kennel until Saturday so I did not "Need" a Nature Hike.  What?  A dog always needs a Nature Hike.  In fact, to get the Wee Lass and Little Lad out of Grandma's house and hair, Mom, Dad, Wee Lass, Little Lad and a Random Cousin went on a Nature Hike in Cleveland on Thanksgiving Day!

I am NOT happy.  If I stay at Camp Kennel again, I expect to be signed up for a Nature Hike Every Day.  And Crafts, too, if offered.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Uh, where does Dad Go?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/637764</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:08:07 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/637764</guid>
		<description>Today Mom and I decided to check out Google Earth.  We were actually looking for another location, b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today Mom and I decided to check out Google Earth.  We were actually looking for another location, but decided to take a look at my 0.6 acres of Suburbia while we were at it.

Uh, there seems to be a problem.

Dad has his "own garage."  It was kind of a trade.  Dad got a Second Garage and Mom got the Wee Lass.

Dad disappears into the Second Garage ALL the time.  Neighborhood Poker Parties (male only) are held in the garage.  (I am the only allowed female.)  Pawsonally, I, Pennie, am hoping Dad gets a mattress, or sleeps in one of his non-functioning cars, leaving the whole Concrete Queen for Mom and Me.  Hey?  Wouldn't that make one his non-functioning cars, functional?  If he slept in it?

Anyhoodle, as I said, there is a problem.  Google Earth shows NO Second Garage.  Nope, the driveway just ends in:  Yard. 

First off, I am upset because I SHOULD have plenty more yard to use, according to Google Earth.

Second, Where Does Dad Go if he is NOT going into this so-called Second Garage?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Oh.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/637496</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:58:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/637496</guid>
		<description>Dad is filling out forms today because his company may be changing Health Insurance.

Family Membe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad is filling out forms today because his company may be changing Health Insurance.

Family Members and/or Dependents:
Dad
Mom
Oldest Lad
Middle Lad
Little Lad
Wee Lass

Uh, Pennie?  Pennie?  Where am I in that list?  Hmmpf.
Anyone interested in a Standard Brown Dog?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Loose Lips Sink Ships</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/636844</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:02:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/636844</guid>
		<description>A popular World War II poster carried the slogan &quot;Loose Lips Sink Ships.&quot;

I, Pennie, am a dog, th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ A popular World War II poster carried the slogan "Loose Lips Sink Ships."

I, Pennie, am a dog, therefore I have loose lips.  It just comes with being a dog.  Sure I can't suck from a straw, or play the saxophone, but I can raise my lips incredibly high, I can swell my lips, and really, their looseness just doesn't bother me.  They come quite in handy when trying to stuff a large tennis ball in my mouth, or a wiggling rodent.

Mom has been quite busy purusing the Internet and the stores for birthday and Christmas Gifts.  Middle Lad and Little Lad had their Gift Lists ready some weeks past, as Mom is not one to "wait."  No, the Lad who waits to ready his Gift List runs the risk of receiving Long Underwear for Christmas, as Mom does not "do gift cards."

I, Pennie, look over Mom's shoulder as she orders items from the Internet.  I inspect all packages that come into the house.  I also have "loose lips."

Uh, perhaps my lips could be, well, a bit firmer, if say a few extra trinkets, or treats should come my way?  Would hidden stashes perhaps stay more safely secreted if I were offered a small, well, the word "bribe" is so crass, but perhaps a small "token?"  Yes, I do think that a "secret" could be made "safer" if Mom offered the right reward.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Wave</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/636831</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:52:28 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/636831</guid>
		<description>Mom revived the &quot;Pennie Wave&quot; today.  Little Lad has been pestering her about it since school starte ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom revived the "Pennie Wave" today.  Little Lad has been pestering her about it since school started, but Mom has been unable to bring herself to perform it.

It all started as the "Mulli Wave."  The Public School Bus picks up at our house (our driveway happens to be the bus stop,) then it travels off to pick up a mulitude of other Public School Attendees, and finally circles back to Re-Pass our house on it's final path to Public School.  

Re-passing our house used to come quite in handy for Middle Lad as he was in the habit of missing the "First Pass" and would catch the bus on the way back.  Now that Middle Lad rides the Middle School Bus he must catch the Middle Public School Bus on the First Pass, or else, well Mom is not happy when she hears him re-enter the house and she has to drive him (although then I, Pennie, get a ride.)

Anyhoodle, Mom used to wait outside with Mulligan, and when the Bus re-passed our house, she would stand him up and then wave a front paw at the bus.  Little Lad and Middle Lad thought this was quite funny, as did several other Public School Attendees.  When I joined the Family, if Dad was home, then Mom would hold up Mulli, and Dad would hold up Me, Pennie, and it would be a Mulli/Pennie Wave.

Since Mulli died, Mom just has not been able to bring herself to do a Solo Pennie Wave.  This morning I guess Mom just gave in to the utter annoyance of Little Lad and there I was, doing the Pennie Wave.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Snagged a Snuggie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634897</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:11:55 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634897</guid>
		<description>Mom found a Snuggie in that hard to find size, Large, today, at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The Large is  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom found a Snuggie in that hard to find size, Large, today, at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The Large is plenty big enough for me.

The main draw back is that it needs a little more velcro attachment at the top back.  This can probably be easily satisfied with a safety pin, and would depend on the dog whether it would be needed or not.  After all, dogs come in many shapes, so one can not expect even so diverse a product as a Snuggie to conform to all dog shapes.

I am still peeved that Walgreens and Target do not see fit to carry "Large" size Snuggies, stocking only Small and Medium.  Bed Bath and Beyond even had XSmall.

The Large would not fit a hundred pounder, but could easily accomodate a dog weighing much more than my 46 to 50 pounds.

Add on Note:  Is the Snuggie only for "Home Wear?"  Is it akin to a Bath Robe?  Mom made me wear it in the car last night on errands.  Was that like going out in my PJs?  Or is the Snuggie a Universal Item that can be worn Indoors and Out?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kid Kibble</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634588</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:22:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634588</guid>
		<description>Just this morning, I was snuggled up in Mom's lap, in her Pink Snuggie (TM) no less, watching TV whi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just this morning, I was snuggled up in Mom's lap, in her Pink Snuggie (TM) no less, watching TV while we nagged, I mean encouraged Middle Lad in his before school preparations.

A commercial came on TV for FreshPet Select Dog Food.  The commercial went something like this:

A female, presumably the Mom, goes to a kitchen cabinet, opens the door, and inside are neatly arrayed paper bags of dry food, quite reminiscent of "bags of dog kibble."  The female figure then goes to a kitchen table where two young human urchins sit, and the female figure pours dry food into bowls for said young humans.  These humans wrinkle their noses in obvious displeasure.  The commercial goes on to explain that caring mothers don't feed their children dry processed food, why should dogs be fed that?

Disclaimer:  I am not knocking FreshPet Select.  In fact, I would LOVE, love, love, to try it.

However, I looked at Mom.  Her jaw had dropped.  In my family, the favorite food for the whole family is:  Dry Kibble.  There is an entire kitchen cabinet devoted just to Dry Kibble, and sometimes overflow must be relegated to the basement.  Oh, and don't think it is ALL the sugary stuff.  Hands Down the House Fav is "Cracklin' Oat Bran."  It is shock full of fiber, yet tastes like oatmeal cookies.  This family thrives and survives on Dry Kibble.

Pawsonally, I love my Iams Kibble.  I like the crunchiness.  I like when Mom hand feeds me little palmfuls of Kibble.  I love to clean up Dry Kibble from the tray of Wee Lass.

This got me to thinking:  Why don't we feed MORE Dry Kibble to America's Children?  In these Cash-Strapped times, Dry Kibble can be the Perfect Solution!  Kid Kibble.  Fortified with all the necessary vitamins, minerals, proteins, whatever for young minds and bodies!  For Cash Strapped Schools, such as my own Public School District which failed to pass it's latest school levy; offering Kid Kibble at lunch would eliminate the need to even have "Lunch."  Kid Kibble could just be passed out during Reading Time, eliminating the need for Lunch Period, eliminating the need for a cafeteria, and eliminating the need for cafeteria workers.  It would add 30 minutes of Academics to each school day, helping boost the ever dropping American Ranking in World Education!  Food allergies?  No problem.  Kibble can just be made without the offending ingredients. 

Kid Kibble would be more satisfying for Donors to Free Breakfast Programs and Summer Meal Programs.  A donor, instead of just writing a check for an "ambiguous, oh, this money will be used to provide meals during the summer for needy children," will instead be writing a check for a certain number of bags of Kid Kibble.  Much more satisfying.

So, sorry, "Fresh" Dog Food, but here at my home we likes our kibble, dry and crunchy!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Squirrel Condo Corruption</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634417</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 10 Nov 2009 13:04:22 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634417</guid>
		<description>The trees of Suburbia are about half-way through their annual Fall Foliage Loss.  Today, as I was ri ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The trees of Suburbia are about half-way through their annual Fall Foliage Loss.  Today, as I was riding about Suburbia in the mini-Van, I was aghast to realize that there are hundreds of Squirrel Condos nestled high in the trees, just in the scant two miles we drove.  These Squirrel Condos were hidden by the leaves and now are plain to see.

Why are these Squirrels allowed to Freeload like this?  In this time when millions of Americans are facing Foreclosure upon their homes, these Squirrels are Freeloading in the Treetops, paying No Mortgage, No Rent, No Taxes!  In fact, I would hazard a guess that in some Homes Facing Foreclosure there are even Squirrel Condos, full of Squirrels happily living while the Home Owners themselves face Eviction!

In my the Lad's Very Own Public School District, the most recent School Levy failed.  This has led to Teacher Lay-Offs, increased class size, salary freezes, and many other cuts directly impacting the education of the students and the livlihood of the district personnel.

If all these Squirrel Condos were Taxed, there would not even have been a need for a School Levy!  Oh, sure, each Squirrel Condo is very small, but add up thousands upon thousands in a heavily-Treed area like Suburbia, the taxes would really add up!

Where is the Government in all this?  Even I, Pennie, pay a tax, for my Dog License.  And of course the taxes on my kibble, and at the vet, and for my few supplies.  The Local, State, and Federal Government have their Tax Hands in just about every thing, yet what about these Squirrel Condos?  What Corrupt deal has been worked out allowing these Rodents to live High and Free?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hand-me-down Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634174</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 Nov 2009 12:18:12 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/634174</guid>
		<description>There is a whole lot of recycling that goes on here.  Except for underwear.  Mom says no one should  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ There is a whole lot of recycling that goes on here.  Except for underwear.  Mom says no one should have to wear "used" underwear.  She often donates new packages of underwear when collections go on, so down and out people can have "new" underwear too.  Long underwear is exempt from this policy and is subject to Hand-Me-Downing.

Anyhoodle.

Mom wears Oldest Lad hand-me-downs, primarily shirts.

Middle Lad wears Oldest Lad hand-me-downs.  Mom will sue the Public School District if they ever change the Band and/or Chorus Dress Code because she has each size of white shirt, black pants, and black shoes, neatly lined up for the next wearer.

Little Lad is lucky for the Underwear Policy for the only other new item he has ever worn is gym shoes.  There is a big Rubbermaid Bin in the basement with:  boots, soccer shoes, baseball shoes, dress shoes, etc.

Even Poor Wee Lass is going to have to wear black or blue snow pants because Cincinnati doesn't get enough snow for Mom to even consider  buying her girl snow pants.

This got Me, Pennie, starting to feel a little left out.  Now I do USE everybody's Hand-Me-Downs since I nest in Little Lad's animals, sleep on Middle Lad's blankets, sleep on Oldest Lad's bed, and sleep on Mom and Dad's Concrete Queen Bed.

Then I realized this:

The whole family wears:  Pennie Hair!

Yes.  The Whole Pennie Family wears Pennie Hand-Me-Downs!  And I'll bet there is still plenty of Samson, Tyler, and Mulligan hand-me-downs left in some of those other saved items.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Snuggie Discrimination</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633731</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 Nov 2009 13:11:09 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633731</guid>
		<description>It has come to my attention that the much sought-after, ultra-high fashion &quot;Snuggie,&quot; is now availab ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It has come to my attention that the much sought-after, ultra-high fashion "Snuggie," is now available for dogs.  Mom herself recently succumbed to "Snuggie"-ness.  She bought a Pink Snuggie in honor of Breast Cancer awareness and the hope that the pink color would keep the rest of the family from Snuggie-Sharing.  Ever since the Lice Incident of 1998 (Mom did not get lice, but a certain family member contracted them when there was a neighborhood epidemic)  Mom has harbored a deep revulsion to sharing any type of blanket with any "Person."  She will share her pillow and blanket with Dogs, mind you.  Well, she will share bed blankets with Dad, but he best keep his head off her pillow; that's just for Mom and Me to put our heads.

Anyhoodle, such fine establishments as "Target" and "Walgreens" carry the "Snuggie" for dogs.

In size Small and size Medium.

Give me a break.

Do only Small and Medium size dogs get Cold?  And the Medium size Snuggie is for dogs 12 to 19 pounds!  I would need Three Mediums stapled together!  This is abject discrimination!  I have thin hair.  I like to nest in blankets.  I get cold.  Must I be Snuggie-Denied because I weigh 46 pounds?  And what of dogs weighing well over 46 pounds?

Even on the Snuggie Website it lists a "Large" Snuggie for dogs over 20 pounds.  I think I would need at least an Extra Large.

This is Snuggie Discrimination against Full-Figured Dogs!  How can something so soft, so warm, so cuddly, be so MEAN!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dad Bed</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633424</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Nov 2009 06:20:04 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633424</guid>
		<description>I have simply given up on Dad and he is simply going to have to be trained to sleep in a Dad Bed.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have simply given up on Dad and he is simply going to have to be trained to sleep in a Dad Bed.  I am certain I can easily find a Dad Bed at Macy's, JCPenney, the Original Mattress Factory, oh I think there are more places to find Dad Beds than Dog Beds.  I can then order him some spiffy sheets over the Internet.  Perhaps with John Deere Tractors or a lovely tool pattern.  Whatever, I am done with trying to  train the man to sleep comfortably with Mom and Me.

First off, Dad thinks that he should get fully one-half of the bed.  Actually more, as he likes to encroach into Mom's space.  Second, Dad does not want ANY Dog part, not even the tip of a Dog Tail to so much as touch Dad's body, even if his body is covered with layers of sheets and blanket.

That leaves one half or less, depending on how much Dad wants to encroach into Mom's territory, of the bed to Mom and Me.  

Mom can not stand to have her legs trapped while she sleeps.  She never has been able to tolerate this and to her a sleeping bag is a torture device.  I pawsonally prefer to sleep ON a person's legs, or at least right next to them.  It is just a natural nesting position.  I am Pennie Nester.  The legs make a Natural Nest.  When I sleep alone with Mom I sleep next to her legs, not trapping them, with my head upon some part of Mom's body.  All is then well.

With Dad in the Bed, a perfect Nest is formed between Dad's legs and Mom's legs.  I fit perfectly into this space.  Then Mom can snuggle with Dad with her upper body.

Yes, that does seem the Perfect Solution, but Dad is just Not Happy.  He keeps moving me.  Yes, even in the middle of the night!  Last night at 3:03 am, Mom and I, Pennie, were both awakened to Dad moving me from my nice warm Pennie Nest between Mom and Dad's legs, to the OTHER Side of Mom.  Intolerable.

And by the way, I do NOT get Sleep Breath.  Never, I repeat Never, does Mom tell Me, Pennie, in the middle of the night to stop breathing on her, likes she tells Dad.

The only solution is that Dad must be trained to sleep on a Dad Bed.  I wonder if I will have to have a Trainer come to the house?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No wonder so many humans are drug addicts.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633315</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 5 Nov 2009 15:30:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/633315</guid>
		<description>I went on errands today with Mom.  We stopped at the Pediatrician's office and picked up a couple of ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I went on errands today with Mom.  We stopped at the Pediatrician's office and picked up a couple of prescriptions.  Then we delivered them to the Pharmacy.  Mom used the "Drive Up Window."  The drawer came out and Mom duly deposited the two prescriptions.  The drawer went back in.  Then it came out again!  With a treat for me, Pennie!

Oh, yes, I did enjoy getting a treat from the pharmacy.  But do the humans get a treat every time they go to the pharmacy?  Is this some insidious plot to KEEP Americans addicted to prescription medications?  For Mom, if they put a little Fun-Size Candy Bar in that little drawer every time she gets a prescription, well, it certainly explains why she goes to the pharmacy so often!  And it explains Mom's need to spend so much time on the Wii Fat.

Humans are instructed not to tell their children that medicine is "candy," yet I, for one, can't wait to go back to the pharmacy!  I didn't even have to take some pill wrapped up in a wad of cheese!  I just had to look cute.

Hmm.  I wonder if Mom is mad at me cuz I got a treat instead of her?

Mom to Pennie:  "Er, Pennie, usually there is nothing in the drawer but the prescriptions and the bill.  No treats."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fun to Disturbing to Grrreat Worriness!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/632523</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 2 Nov 2009 07:52:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/632523</guid>
		<description>Fun

Oh, the Bus Stop was such great fun this morning!  Gunnar, the over large Husky Mix was out r ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Fun

Oh, the Bus Stop was such great fun this morning!  Gunnar, the over large Husky Mix was out running the neighborhood and stopped by to play with me.  He was without a care in the world.  Already having jumped his fence, I suppose he figured he might as well get a good bit of fun in before his Mom caught up with him and dragged him back to the pokey.

Disturbing

Little Lad ran in to the house to tattletale on Gunnar!  Mom ran out immmediately In Her Pajamas!  Yes, there Mom was, at the Bus Stop (my house IS the Bus Stop) chasing after Gunnar!  Disturbing.  Very Disturbing.  One simply does not wish to see One's Own Mother OUTSIDE in her Pajamas.  It being "school time" a great deal of traffic was driving past and here I have my mother dressed this way.

Grrreat Worriness!

Finally Mom, still in her pajamas, at least with a robe on by now, was able to call Gunnar's Mom and the two of them were able to lure Gunnar onto MY backporch and onto HIS Leash with the aid of some Mozzarella Cheese.  (My cheese, from MY fridge.) Gunnar and I continued to play while the Moms chatted.  Then.  Gunnar's Mom said she was planning to move OUT of her parent's house and INTO an apartment.  She did not know what was going to happen to Gunnar!  Mom, Yes, my very own Mumzie, said that if the Gunnar Family could not keep Gunnar, then maybe WE would consider Gunnar.  I do NOT need Gunnar.  I do not need another Dog to care for!  I am already Nurse Pennie, Nanny Pennie, and all my other Titles.  Must I be Dog Trainer Pennie?  This Dog, Gunnar, is obviously smitten with Mom as well.  I do not need to share Mom's attention with some over-grown Pup with Zero Manners.

Some Monday this is turning out to be.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Stop Watching Me, Mom!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/631391</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:34:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/631391</guid>
		<description>It has done nothing but Rain, Rain, Rain, and more Rain, in Cincinnati since Dog knows when.  Drough ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It has done nothing but Rain, Rain, Rain, and more Rain, in Cincinnati since Dog knows when.  Drought conditions may exist elsewhere but not here.  Through the miracles of Internet searches and a site called the Weather Underground, I was able to glean that normal October precipitation is 2.53 inches, and we have already had 4.71 inches, with 3 more days to go!  No wonder my Fanny is Damp!

Last night, as usual, it was cold and raining when it was time to go to bed.  Dad put me Out.  I stood on the front porch.  Dad let me in.  Mom asked if I had peed.  Dad said he did not think so.  Mom got a handful of Goldfish Crackers and threw them out into the yard.  Then she watched me.  Watched and Watched.  She stood at an angle to the little glass front door windows so I could tell she was lurking but not make eye contact.  I found the Goldfish Crackers and submitted to Tinkling in that wet, cold grass.

Now, Mulligan was Bladder Snack Trained.  All Mom had to do was throw a few treats in the yard, yell "Go Pee!" and Mulli would dutifully wander around the yard searching for the snacks, and Go Pee, or Poop, if he was Full.

I, Pennie, am more complex.  It's Creepy:  Why is she watching me?  Isn't that kinda wierd?  Doesn't Mom have better things to do than watch me Pee?

Mom:  "Uh, Pennie, you watch me Pee all the time.  You watch me shower.  You follow me around the house.  You sniff personal parts of my body.  I am not sure if I have used the toilet alone since you have lived here."

Pennie:  "Oh."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Poking and Prodding Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/631213</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:51:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/631213</guid>
		<description>Is it just my Mom or do other Moms always poke and prod their Pups?

Here's the scene:  Mom is inn ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Is it just my Mom or do other Moms always poke and prod their Pups?

Here's the scene:  Mom is innocently enough petting me.  I am enjoying myself.  Then she finds Something.  A Zit.  A twisted bit of hair.  Dog knows what.  Then she starts to poke at me.  Sometimes she even Squeezes!, yes Squeezes whatever little bit she has found.

I have even caught her doing this to the Lads!  Poor Middle Lad has a Wart on his Tummy.  If he has his shirt off, he steers clear of Mom cuz she is sure to insist on having a squeeze at that old wart!

I do NOT like to be Poked, Prodded, or Squeezed!  I don't care if sometimes I do have a "Zit" and Mom pops it, and then wipes it up with a Baby Wipe.

No Pennie Popping!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dogster is so Rude!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/629727</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:48:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/629727</guid>
		<description>First off, Mom assured me that Dogs cannot catch H1N1.  I pointed out to her that I, of course, am n ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ First off, Mom assured me that Dogs cannot catch H1N1.  I pointed out to her that I, of course, am not subject to Mass Media Induced Panic.  I was worried about all the OTHER Germs that Mom, Little Lad, and Wee Lass brought home from the Emergency Room, along with Little Lad's Head Staples.  To make Little Lad more useful, I think Mom should make use of those staples and attach notes to Little Lad's head.

Anyhoodle, Dogster is so RUDE!  Today one of the highlights in the News Rectangle is about Frito Feet!  Pawsonally I don't like my feet to be touched, much less discussed!  And just last week I wrote a Diary Entry of how useless I thought the "Paw" command is because I DO NOT want my Paw to touch some Germy Human Hand.  So what if I grow Yeasties between my Toes!  I am not going around hand-shaking my Swine-Sneeze Covered Hands with People like the rest of America is doing!  I am sure any Bacteria and/or Viruses that I may harbor between my beautiful toes will not elicit a Public School Epidemic of Absenteeism!

Yes.  I would much rather have Frito Feet than Swine Flu Hand-Shake.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mom is trying to Poison Me!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/629436</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:17:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/629436</guid>
		<description>I should have know something was wrong, as Mom sat in front of the washing maching, dumping the cont ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I should have know something was wrong, as Mom sat in front of the washing maching, dumping the contents out of the Wee Lass Back Pack and her Purse.  Mom poured almost an entire bag of Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Cheese Gold Fish Crackers into my bowl.  Without a thought I hungrily gorged myself on those fishy morsels.

Then I got to thinking:  Why would Mom sit in front of the washing machine?   Dog knows it IS her favorite appliance, but I should have been suspicious!

Why would Mom pour almost an entire bag of Goldfish out for me?  Mom hardly even buys the "bags" anymore due to their price.  It is almost always the Tyrannosaurus Rex sized Box that Mom buys.

Then I realized I, Pennie have been Poisoned.  Doomed.

I know Mom has never gotten over Mulligan's death, but I have done my best to fill his paws, and she and I have even established a relationship, although tenuous, as I recognize her faults and frequently point out to her how I must pick up for her lapses in child-rearing.

Anyhoodles.  Mom was dumping all the items out of the Back Pack and putting them in the washing machine, and wiping down the non-machine washable items.  Mom was dumping all the items out of her Purse as well.  Even some of the Wee Lass Army, the Fisher Price Little People, went into the Washing Machine.

It turns out that Mom spent several hours in the Emergency Room this afternoon.  Little Lad, who is a pathetic little creature, in no measure to any of the Pups that I bore forth, was injured at school.  Little Lad had a scalp laceration which required attention.  Mom tried to avoid the ER, but the pediatrician's office assured Mom that the wound certainly "sounded like it needed to be seen at the Emergency Room."

Sure enough, the Little Lad did need Staples in his Head.  The Emergency Room was full of Swine Flu Victims, oinking their Swine Flu Cough and Sneezing their Swine Flu Sneezes.  Mom felt entirely Germ-Infested once she came home and is certain that the entire family is now going to come down with some Terrible ER-Obtained Illness.

While at the ER, the Wee Lass snacked on the Gold Fish Crackers.  Mom did her best to both entertain and keep sterile the Wee Lass but it is impossible to straight jacket a two year old into a stroller for three and a half hours.

Mom came home and Fed Me, Pennie, those Emergency Room Germ-Infested Goldfish Crackers.  Before I even knew to object, down my long greedy throat those fishies went.

Do I look glassy eyed and feverish?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Stupid Pennii Tricks.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/628026</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:08:05 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/628026</guid>
		<description>Mom has been trying to give me &quot;Mental Stimulation&quot; by teaching me to place my paw in her hand when  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has been trying to give me "Mental Stimulation" by teaching me to place my paw in her hand when she says:  "Give me your Paw."

Okay.  I do see the point of us dogs accomodating to the humans in a few certain items.

Stay.  This is obviously important as the human may have noticed some imminent danger to the dog while the dog's attention is otherwise occupied by a squirrel, an intruder, or the need to scratch.

Come.  Again, I am willing to bow to my human on this one as it so many times leads to a favorable outcome:  ride, walk, or food.

Sit.  I have gleaned from being around children that furniture is for sitting, not standing or vaulting.  That it is important to "sit your bottom in that chair at the dinner table."  Also, go "sit in your room until you can behave like a human" seems to be heard often.

I like to Sit on furniture.  I like to Sit with the family at the dinner table.  I like to Sit or Sleep on the Bed in one of the upstairs rooms.  So it seems that the "Sit" command IS in my best interests. (As it seems to be in the best interest of the Lads and the Wee Lass.) 

But Paw?  What is the Point? In this age of H1N1 the LAST thing I want to do is learn to put MY Paw in a Germ-Infested HAND!  Yucko!  The way I, Pennie, wash my Paw is to Lick IT for Dog's sake!  I certainly don't want Mom or any other Human Hand touching my Paw!

In this rampant Flu season certain Houses of Worship are dispensing with the "Sign of the Peace" Hand Shake in favor of a Nod of the Head or some other Peaceful Sign.  At other Worship Places, the "Greeting  Time" part of the service is being replaced by simple Verbage, as opposed to actual physical contact with those Germ-Infested Hands.

At the entrance to the Public Elemtary School are TWO Industrial Sized bottles of HAND, yes HAND Sanitizer.  The PTA has sent home calls for pawrents to send in even MORE Hand Sanitizer.

Again, I, Pennie, do not use Hand Sanitizer.  I LICK my PAWS.  So Mom, keep your Germy hands to yourself, and maybe we can work on some other Stupid Pennie Trick.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennii Fit Plus</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627760</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:58:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627760</guid>
		<description>Well, I suppose I do deserve it.  I have my own Mii.  A Pennii.  It doesn't look much like me.  I ha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, I suppose I do deserve it.  I have my own Mii.  A Pennii.  It doesn't look much like me.  I have bent ears.  The ear choices were ears that stood up straight and ears that flopped down.  No ears that stand up and fold choice.  And no "snout" choice to reflect my long elegant snout, as opposed to Mullii's short snout.

Anyhoodles, Mom has recently acquired the Wii Fat Plus, oh, I mean the Wii Fit Plus (Wii Fat in Mom's case.)  Unlike Mullii, when he was alive, who always criticized Mom while she worked out; I have always laid on the couch and murmured gentle encouragement to Mom as she works out.

Recently I have taken a more active interest in Mom as she works out with the Wii Fat Plus.  The sight of a woman rotating her fanny in wild circles, while staring at the TV, doing "Super Hula Hoop," is just too much for me.  I get up and stick my cold, penetrating stout on Mom's Fanny.  

Then Mom works out doing "Island Run."  Does she realize she is just Running In Place?  I don't think so.  I plop myself down under her feet, to remind her that in order to RUN, one must GO Somewhere, not Run In Place, while staring at some Mii-inhabited Nintendo Island.

Today, after Mom's workout, Mom created a Mii for ME, Pennie.  A Pennii.  Then she proceeded to pick Mii up and Weigh Mii on the Balance Board.  My Weight is Perfect (unlike Mom's.)

Oh, I suppose I deserve it, after going from gentle encouragement to a Snout Prodding Drill Sergeant, but I put my Paws Down.  I, Pennii, am NOT going to stand on the Balance Board and rotate my fanny in wild circles, just so some electronic video game can plop fake exercise time tokens into my Piggy Bank.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nurse Pennie on the Spot</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627530</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 12 Oct 2009 12:05:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627530</guid>
		<description>Germ Warfare has been raging at the Mulligan Compound for nigh on a week.  Appaently, I am a non-uni ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Germ Warfare has been raging at the Mulligan Compound for nigh on a week.  Appaently, I am a non-unionized Nurse, for I seem to be expected to provide my services at all hours, without scheduled breaks, and with no regard to how many hours I am working. 

Middle Lad came home last Tuesday with a "flu-like" illness.  Per doctor, school, and Mass Media News Coverage, it is to be assumed that a "flu-like" illness is the H1N1 virus.  I have been following Middle Lad around, nuzzling him in the Arse, to see if he is growing a Pig Tail.  He is most uncooperative, and therefore I can not say conclusively if he has the H1N1 or not.  

Middle Lad has also been most uncooperative about being Compressed.  Really, with his Asthma, coughing fits, and high fever, full-blown Compression Therapy is warranted.  I have had to satisfy myself with Naturally Humidified Healing Vapors therapy.  Without Compression, I have stayed as close as possible to Middle Lad, and produced as much Vaporage as possible, to keep his lungs and nasal passageways open.  Frankly, Mulligan was much better at providing Healing Vapors, as he ate much more Rancid Food and Non-Food items.

In the meantime, Dad seems to have come down with "something."  He spent all of Sunday in bed.

Now where am I to sleep?  Middle Lad is sleeping in his bed.  Little Lad has been moved to Oldest Lad's vacant bed (due to Oldest Lad being at the "structure.")  Don't tell Oldest Lad, as Little Lad sometimes uses the bed as an Indoor Backyard.  Dad is sleeping in the Concrete Queen, but Mom refuses to join him due to his "germs."  Mom also refuses to sleep on the Couch, for Middle Lad has spent a great deal of time on the Couch and Mom is certain it is "Germy."  Thank Dogness for Leather Couches which can be Wiped!

Mom abandoned all and slept in the basement last night, on the futon.

Where do I go?  Do I sleep with Middle Lad to ply him with Healing Vapors?  Do I join Dad on the Concrete Queen to Compress Dad?  Do I sleep with Mom on the Futon, and save myself?

Oh, this Flu Season is a terrible hardship for all healthcare providers, particularly, Me, Nurse Pennie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Noun Hound</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627284</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:58:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627284</guid>
		<description>I played this game from my pal 
Bodhi's diary and won. Now I'm suppose to do it for my friends. 
 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I played this game from my pal 
<a href ="http://www.dogster.com/dogs/689003 ">Bodhi's</a> diary and won. Now I'm suppose to do it for my friends. 

I give you 4 clues to an animal, place or thing and you pawmail me with your answer - don't post it on here. The first 5 winners will get a rosette from me!

Here's the clues:

1. I come in both metric, US, and UK sizes.

2. I can be made of a variety of materials, can be thin or fat, single-ended or even double-ended.

3. A mammal would not want to step on the smallest sizes of me.

4. With the price of heating a home, I might come in handy.

Good Luck!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Itchy Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627056</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 Oct 2009 13:26:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/627056</guid>
		<description>At night I sometimes get an Itch.  It must be a cross-species problem because I have slept with mult ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ At night I sometimes get an Itch.  It must be a cross-species problem because I have slept with multiple bed-fellows (although I am no sleaze, mind you,) and it seems that dogs and humans alike often get an itch at night.

If Mom gets an itch at night, even a "personal" itch, I make no complaint if she scratches herself.  Oh, I may make a bit of a groan from my mouth, but really, the soft palate of the mouth flutters while relaxed and I can't help that it may flutter if I am disturbed.

Anyhoodle, I make no complaint if Dad has an itch and scratches.  Or Oldest Lad.  Or anyone else with whom I may be co-sleeping.

Here's the thing.  If I, Pennie, have an Itch, I get yelled at!  Yes.  I am told to "stop whatever I am doing to shake the bed."  If I am Scratching my Itch with a paw, or with my teeth, it doesn't matter, as soon as I start to Scratch my Itch, it's as if I have commited some horrible bed-time crime!

No wonder humans get too little rest.  Perhaps they need to be more accepting and they would sleep better.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Kibble Kitchen</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/626850</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 9 Oct 2009 13:16:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/626850</guid>
		<description>Gunnar stopped by today.  He is the Husky Shelter Special that stopped by on Saturday, on the lam fr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Gunnar stopped by today.  He is the Husky Shelter Special that stopped by on Saturday, on the lam from his own yard.

It's not that I mind passing out a cup or two of Kibble to Wayward Dogs.  I would be quite happy if I was out loose for someone to corral me and call the number on my Tag for my safe return home.

No.  It's the WAY Gunnar stopped by.

Mom was in the Utility Room, changing clothes over from the washer and dryer.  The Back Door happened to be open.  Suddenly she heard a Demanding Bark.  Yes.  Definitely an "I am here, now come pay attention to me," demanding sort of bark."  Mom looked out the back door and there was Gunnar, all wet, and muddy, and absolutely Thrilled to see Mom.  Oh, yeah, I can tell when a Dog is smitten.  Gunnar was way too wet and muddy to let inside the house.  Mom put him on the back porch and proceeded to call his home.

Perhaps Gunnar simply did not realize how miserable and rainy the weather was when he jumped his fence.  OR, perhaps he has now realized that he can trot over here, to MY HOME, for a warm cup of Kibble, a belly rub, and some time with Mom.

I, Pennie, do not plan on running a Kibble Kitchen for Dogs interested in gaining attention from Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Turmoil!  Depression!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/626282</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 7 Oct 2009 08:18:11 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/626282</guid>
		<description>Did I or Did I not, just a few diary entries ago write of this very fear?  Oh, woe unto me for my ve ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Did I or Did I not, just a few diary entries ago write of this very fear?  Oh, woe unto me for my very fears may come to pass.
How.  Do.  I.  Stop.  This.

Other Woman is safely at University.  A University 45 minutes away from Oldest Lad's University, and Oldest Lad seriously lacking in Gas Money.  Also, both on partial scholarships, so "Grades" MUST be kept to a University-approved minimum.  Since she has been at University she and I have actually improved our relationship.

Frenemies.

I was feeling rather relaxed, after a whole summer of Other Woman.  Then Oldest Lad moved into his "Structure."  Faint uneasiness just would not go away.

Other Woman Wants to Give Oldest Lad Another Dog.  Yes.  My very fear.  And even wrought by Other Woman.  In fact, Other Woman has Another Dog all picked out.

Mom had a "Serious Talk" with Oldest Lad about the "Seriousness" of having Another Dog.  Especially because Mom knows that Mom and Dad would inevitably be part-time care-takers for Another Dog.

Mom even put on the table the idea of ME, Pennie, moving in with Oldest Lad.  Dad gave a resounding "NO!"

How can I live with all of this hanging in the balance?  Will there be Another Dog?  Will Oldest Lad come to his senses and realize that I, Pennie, am the ONLY Dog for him?  Will a compromise be reached?

Pass the Xanax, Pawlease!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hostess Pennie?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/625704</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 4 Oct 2009 18:55:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/625704</guid>
		<description>I have many caps to wear.  I have oft complained of Mom's ineptness as a Mother and I must play the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have many caps to wear.  I have oft complained of Mom's ineptness as a Mother and I must play the role of Nannie Pennie all day and night.  At a moments notice I must don my Nurse Pennie cap for an injured knee, a broken arm, or to clean a snotty nose.  I am Chief Dishwasher and Pot Scrubber.

Now it seems I must play Hostess, with NO notice, to any Wayward Dog that happens by.

Yes.  Two days in a row Wayward Dogs have run by my 0.6 Acres of Suburbia and Mom has corralled them, brought them into the back porch, and entertained them while she searches for their owners.  Yesterday it was some blond Husky sort with blue eyes.  Today it was a smallish brown hound.

Oh, I suppose I do hold some obligation in preventing these Wayward Dogs from running amok and perhaps being hit by a car at the Stop Sign that no car ever stops at.  But must I, Pennie, be expected to play Hostess, Counselor, Play-mate, at a moments notice?  I am staying in my own yard, unlike these Wayward Hounds!  Yet I must offer up my kibble, water, and back porch, with NO previous consultation and time to prepare!  The Dad of today's Wayward Dog, named "Scooby" even had the Gall to inform Mom that he was looking for a new home for "Scooby" as his young daughter is suffering from allergies.  Mom said nothing, as she could indeed see my wrath at being expected to don my Hostess Apron again.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Paws Off!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/625611</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 4 Oct 2009 11:12:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/625611</guid>
		<description>Oh, yes I am proud.  How could I not be proud of Oldest Lad?  He has made the cover of a National Ma ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh, yes I am proud.  How could I not be proud of Oldest Lad?  He has made the cover of a National Magazine, for Dog's Sake!

Paws Off!  Ladies, and Dogs.  He IS MY MAN.  Looky Looky, but no Touch Touchy, or you will have to contend with ME.  Pennie.  And my Lovely Teeth.

Here is the Link

<a href ="http://digital.watkinsprinting.com/publication/?i=23241">Oldest Lad picture</a>


Now use the arrows at the top to go to the Back Page.

Oldest Lad is Front AND Center.

The Red "C."

Yep.  That Red "C" is MY Man.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ewww!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/624697</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 30 Sep 2009 08:01:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/624697</guid>
		<description>I tried desperately to go shopping with Mom yesterday.  I was certain that her attempt to purchase a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I tried desperately to go shopping with Mom yesterday.  I was certain that her attempt to purchase a new Levi's Pant for Middle Lad would come to absolute failure without me.  First I jumped in the car.  Mom took me out.  Then I ran out the back door while Mom went to put something in the trash.  Finally Mom resorted to bribery.

Mom grabbed some MilkBones from the box inside the MilkBone Cabinet.  

The MilkBones were moving.  

Mom screamed.  She flicked her hand.  She grabbed the box and ran outside and threw it in the trash.  She ran back inside.  She went back to the MilkBone Cabinet, which doubles as dust cloth, tape, keys that no one remembers what they go to anymore, and Pet Med storage.  There were more moving brown things that must have crawled out of the MilkBone box.

Apparently my MilkBones, although the box was not very old, had hatched.

What if I had eaten those Milkbones?  How many have I already eaten?  Does a Dog who eats rabbits, mice and moles from the back yard care if she eats a few live bugs?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Perhaps Mulli was NOT wrong on this one</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623568</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 25 Sep 2009 10:21:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623568</guid>
		<description>I will admit that I am not as smart as Mulligan.  However, Mulligan's raw intelligence did lead him  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I will admit that I am not as smart as Mulligan.  However, Mulligan's raw intelligence did lead him to struggle with fits of paranoia and sometimes even depression.  I often question some of Mulligan's views as I am more the type of dog happy to chomp down on a few moles, chase squirrels, and snuggle into bed at night with Oldest Lad or Mom or whomever is available for a Pennie Nest.

Mulligan always insisted that I must FEAR Mom's afghans.  Or at least be suspicious of them.  I simply attributed this to Mulligan's dabbles with paranoia.  How can something soft and cuddly, home-made even, be a threat?

Unfortunately, I am beginning to realize that Mulligan is correct.  I must indeed be suspicious of Mom's crocheting, Afghan, ways.

Yesterday, Mom and Wee Lass were out and about most of the day.  It was a rainy day, the perfect day for Me, Pennie, to spend curled up in the recliner chair on an Afghan.  Mom had conveniently left an Afghan Creation in the chair from the night before.  She had fallen asleep while knotting away, and gone straight up to bed, not taking her normal obsessive care to put away her tangle of knots and her crochet hook.  

Late in the day, Mom retrieved Wee Lass from her Crib Crate  and realized the Afghan was still on the chair.  Mom immediately grabbed the Afghan before Wee Lass could take the "loose end" and return the Afghan to it's original form:  a long string of yarn.  Mom searched high and low and pushed her hands in and out of every crevice of the recliner chair but could not find the Crochet Hook.

For several hours Mom remained Obsessed, yes, Obsessed about where that Crochet Hook was.  She was worried that Wee Lass might find it.  She moved furniture.  She looked under the edges of the rug.  She repeatedly dug her hands in and out of the Recliner Chair Crevices.  No Crochet Hook.

This is when I realized that Mulligan was indeed correct in his Afghan Paranoia.

Yes.  Mom next walked over to me, lifted my tail, and checked out my Bum Hole!

Oh, the memory of the violation . .  . .  To think that I would have Sat upon that Crochet Hook, and had it, well, . . . .

Mom finally found the Crochet Hook.  In her Crochet Bag.  She never did apologize to me.  She claims that she did not violate me -- she checked me out of her worry that I was acting strangely, and I might have a Crochet Hook in my Bum Hole.

Well of course I was acting strangely!  Mom was moving furniture and rugs and poking her hands all over the insides of the recliner chair.  That is NOT normal.  It did NOT mean I had EATEN or SAT on a Crochet Hook.

What else has Mulligan been correct about all along that I have chalked up to his Paranoia?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mixed Feelings about Operation Pennie Move</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623244</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 Sep 2009 06:09:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623244</guid>
		<description>Yesterday I was all set to start Misbehaving in Operation Pennie Move.  Operation Pennie Move is my  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday I was all set to start Misbehaving in Operation Pennie Move.  Operation Pennie Move is my plot to force Mom to let me move in with Oldest Lad, to prevent him from hooking up with Another Dog.  Yes, I figure I can misbehave enough that Mom will put me in my crate and send me to Oldest Lad.

Then came Meatloaf.  Homemade Meatloaf, with bits of bacon and cheddar cheese mixed in.  Mom put the Leftover Meatloaf Dish on the floor for me to clean.  Since only Mom and Dad ate Meatloaf, two nights and a lunch, even, there was still plenty of Meatloaf bits around the borders of the Meatloaf Dish.  There was a pleasingly greasy concoction of congealed hamburger fat, cheese, and spices stuck to the bottom of the dish, needing to be pried off.

With Five, yes Five, University Men living at Oldest Lad's "Structure," is there even the slightest possibility of there being any crust bits of leftovers?  I am sure not.  Oldest Lad already described how he made Mom's recipe of Broccoli Cheese/Chicken Rice Casserole for the Men, and they scraped, practically licked, the casserole dish clean.

What does that leave for me?  Cold Hard Kibble.  And Beer I suppose.

My heart tells me to commence Operation Pennie Move at once, yet my stomach tells me Mom has more leftovers.  I even get the leftovers from Wee Lass.  For Dog's Sake, if I move, Mom might even get Another Dog just to clean up after Wee Lass.  She really doesn't know how "dogless" families live with toddlers and children to clean up after.

Stomach or Heart?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I may have to move.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623060</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:32:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/623060</guid>
		<description>Yesterday I went down to visit Oldest Lad at his &quot;structure&quot; once again to help deliver more items.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday I went down to visit Oldest Lad at his "structure" once again to help deliver more items.  This time he needed bricks.  Yes, the "structure" itself could definitely use more bricks, but these bricks are intended for making a fire pit in the back yard.  As I readied to go home to Suburbia, two dogs walked by, exercising their Man.  Oldest Lad's yard IS fenced completely around, but the front gate is completely missing, so these two dogs saw me and came into the yard to say "hello."  Oh, Mom was all over those dogs, about how lovely they were, and the Man was very complimentary to me, noting my athleticism.  Oldest Lad himself petted these dogs and did not embarassingly gush over them like Mom, but did compliment them.

Well, here's the thing.  I had to put up with Other Woman all summer.  Then Oldest Lad moves into the "structure" and I discover that there are Other WomEn living next door!  Completely UN-chaperoned Other WomEn, at least Other Woman was still living at home, with her Dad who owns firearms!

Now, I discover I also have to worry about Other Dogs!  What if Oldest Lad decides he wants to hook up with some Other Dog?  The former occupant of his room at the "structure" had a dog; Mom herself had to vacuum and dust up a large quantity of fur the dog left when it moved out.  These two friendly dogs exercising their man were quite interested in Oldest Lad.  What if they have a Friend Dog, looking for a Man?

Coincidentally, my new Crate Door arrived.  I was a little surprised.  Since my Antique Crate was purchased in the 1980s, I thought perhaps the Crate Door would be sporting Big Hair, or Tight Jeans, or at least come with a complimentary Richard Simmons Exercise Video.  

Perhaps I should start purposely misbahaving so Mom sends me packing to live with Oldest Lad.  I would need a Crate, to make sure I did not escape with all the comings and goings of Five University Lads and seeing as there is no front gate and I don't think Mom would let Oldest Lad dig up the Invisible Fence and re-implant it at his "structure."

Yes.  Project Pennie Move will have to commence.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>And here's another thing.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/622595</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:35:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/622595</guid>
		<description>Mom is always complaining about wasting food.  She is also constantly urging, perhaps uber-urging to ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is always complaining about wasting food.  She is also constantly urging, perhaps uber-urging to the point of nagging, certain family members to clean up after themselves.

All, yes ALL, Family Members, excluding Wee Lass, and ME, Pennie, are allowed free access to the trash and/or garbage.

Middle Lad is expected to collect the household trash every Monday night, put it in the garbage cans, and take the garbage cans to the curb.

There are separate containers for "trash" and "recycling."

Mom even brings Trash home!  Yep.  She will bring home an aluminum can if she is out if there is no "recycling" available.

I, Pennie, am forbidden to access the trash AND the recycling AND the garbage cans!  Just this afternoon, I knocked over a garbage can in the back yard.  There were some Tasty and Perfectly Usable McDonalds Remnants inside the garbage can, just beckoning to me.  When Mom discovered the garbage can turned over, the lid off, and me inside the can, she SCOLDED ME!  Mom is the one constantly upset at food wastage.  Here I was trying to put those extra McDonalds morsels to good use and I was scolded!

Aside from me doing Mom the favor of using up those extra morsels of food; why am I denied access to the trash/garbage when the rest of the family is free to access the trash/garbage as much as they want?  Never once have I seen Oldest Lad or Little Lad forced to endure a humiliating Baby Wipe RubDown because they just got finished accessing a garbage can!  They in fact are "encouraged" to access the garbage cans, as in, "would you please, for the seven hundred seventeenth time that I have asked, empty the trash from the kitchen and put it in the garbage."

I am a full grown dog.  I should be allowed to snack and to garbage as I please.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Here's the thing.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/622108</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:59:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/622108</guid>
		<description>I am clearly considered to be older, or at least more mature than Little Lad or Wee Lass.  Although  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am clearly considered to be older, or at least more mature than Little Lad or Wee Lass.  Although my exact age is unknown, it is estimated to be about four.  Dogs are considered "adult" at age one, or a little older than age one for large dogs, and I am somewhere in between a large and a small dog.  Wait.  That means I am also older than Middle Lad too!  Even by the archaic one dog year equals seven human years for the first X years, then one dog year equals 4 human years, oh, let me just get on with my point.

Mom gets a snack whenever she wants too.  That is why the Wii Fit is nicknamed the Wii Fat.  Oldest Lad calls it the Wii Obese.  That explains why Mom has shed no tears at Oldest Lad living in his "structure" and not at home while he attends University

Dad gets a snack whenever he wants to, despite being on Lipitor for the past oh, five years or so.

Oldest Lad AND Middle Lad both are free to get a snack whenever they want, again, without consulting ANYONE.

Little Lad must ASK before he snacks.

Wee Lass must ASK for a snack.

I clearly rank in age and maturity somewhere between Oldest Lad and Middle Lad.  My weight is PERFECT.  The Vet marvels at my musculature.  ( I just don't brag about it in every other diary entry like Mulligan.)

Why can't I, Pennie get a Snack any time I desire a Snack?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Do I need to know?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/621882</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 18 Sep 2009 12:10:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/621882</guid>
		<description>The Wall Street Journal has an article about DNA testing for dog breed identification.  The article  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Wall Street Journal has an article about DNA testing for dog breed identification.  The article writer subjected their dog, Parrot, to four different DNA tests and then compared the results, and prices.

Do I need DNA testing to know what I am?

When asked, Mom, Dad, and Oldest Lad usually say that my breed is:
Standard Brown Dog.

On the back of Mom's Van, there is a "Mutt" sticker.  I am not sure if that is specifically referring to me, or to the people that ride inside the van.  The family is a mix of Irish, German, possibly Scottish, and Eastern European vicinity, including Hungary. That pretty much means "Mutt" describes both Me, Pennie, and Mom, Dad, and the Lads.  Wee Lass is Native American, Mayan.

I guess I am OK with Standard Brown Dog for now.  It's not like the rest of the family has anything to hold over my head.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I can not take classes from a Bogus University!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/621249</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:58:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/621249</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad has headed off to University. Classes have not started yet, but rent on his &quot;structure&quot; b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad has headed off to University. Classes have not started yet, but rent on his "structure" began September 1st, and in order to make the "structure" the least bit inhabitable the inhabitees commenced inhabiting in order to commence cleaning.

I, Pennie, have been through the College/Universtiy Admission Process with Oldest Lad.  I understand what is invovled, so when Mom suddenly insisted on forcing me to sit through a class on Cable Television, yes, Cable Television, Animal Planet, no less, I knew right off that it was a Non-Accredited university.

True Universities do not accept payment from the Cable Bill.  Oh, sure, on-line classes are all the rage now, even down to elementary students being able to take Accredited Ohio on-line course work.  I don't think "Good Dog University" was in the list of accepted Ohio on-line schools, and I am certain that Good Dog University, Good Dog U., for short does not participate in ANY Voucher program.

The Good Dog University Professor, although he drove a really cool convertible, did not appear to have a PhD.

There was NO slick, full color, glossy, multi-page brochure for Good Dog U.  I brought in enough mail when Oldest Lad was a Senior in High School to know that ALL Accredited Universities have glossy, full-color multi-page brochures showing smiling students.

I did NOT, nor did MOM, submit my SAT or ACT scores to Good Dog U.  Point of fact, I did not even take the SAT or ACT, and Mom took both tests before Cable Television Remotes were invented.

I, Pennie, refuse to study the Course work from Good Dog U.  I submit that the course work is bogus, it should not be offered on such a fine institution as Animal Planet, and egregious harm might come to me if I follow the instructions on "Heel" and "Leash Walking" offered by such a Sham U.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Threat, I just can not win!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/620227</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 10 Sep 2009 18:54:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/620227</guid>
		<description>Tonight I went to visit the structure that Oldest Lad will be inhabiting this year at University.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Tonight I went to visit the structure that Oldest Lad will be inhabiting this year at University.  It is supposed to be a "House," but it quite failed to impress me as such, so I shall have to simply call it a "structure" and hope it remains standing.

Mom drove Oldest Lad down, along with Middle Lad, Little Lad, and the Wee Lass.  As there is an absence of parking, the van was parked a block or two over.  Mom, Little Lad, Wee Lass, and I stayed in the "structure" while Middle Lad and Oldest Lad continued to ferry boxes from the Van.

Now, I have just been blissfully rid of Other Woman for nigh on Two Weeks.  Other Woman returned for a brief visit this weekend and we actually greeted each other as friends.  With her now a good 45 minutes away from Oldest Lad and Oldest Lad seriously lacking Gas Money AND his own car, I perceive Other Woman as much less of a threat.

Here I am, letting my guard down, when what comes traipsing up on to the porch of this dilapidated "structure?"  Not ONE but TWO, yes TWO, Other WomEn!  Little Lad opened the door and I ran out immediately, barking ferociously.  Those two Other Women were looking for Oldest Lad, were completely unimpressed by my barking and gave Mom a cheerful: "tell Oldest Lad we stopped by."

I had to return home with Mom, leaving Oldest Lad with this New Threat:  Other WomEn.  How long until they discover that he cooks?  That he can wield a hammer and fix something? 

Could I have not had just a few more days of bliss enjoying the absence of Other Woman before this new threat?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Putting aside my differences.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/619490</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 7 Sep 2009 13:16:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/619490</guid>
		<description>Other Woman came home from University for the weekend, and of course stopped by to see Oldest Lad.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Other Woman came home from University for the weekend, and of course stopped by to see Oldest Lad.  Surprisingly, she and I seem to have put aside our differences.  Yes!  She actually greeted me and scritched me atop my head.  She hand fed me my kibbles.  In return I was quite pleasant to her.  I won't go so far as to say we will be friends, but perhaps absence does make the heart grow fonder, as they say.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What good is Neighborhood Watch?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618764</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 3 Sep 2009 13:57:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618764</guid>
		<description>Recently my neighborhood has become a Neighborhood Watch area, complete with Posted Official Signs a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Recently my neighborhood has become a Neighborhood Watch area, complete with Posted Official Signs at the entrances to the Neighborhood.  Has this made me, Pennie, any safer?  No.

I was home, all alone, when an Intruder came into the house.  Yes.  This Intruder snatched a bag of Corn Muffins off the kitchen counter and ate them all over the family room rug!  Corn Muffins are notoriously crumby and now there are crumbs all over the rug, and Oldeset Lad has taken the vacuum cleaner down to his new digs, temporarily.

Then this Intruder went upstairs and got into the Bathtub!  The Intruder left Paw Prints all over the Bathtub, with no regard for the bath toys that were in the bathtub.

Thank dogness I was NOT crated, due to the crate door being broken, because I was able to get this Intruder out of the house before Mom came home.  I could not vacuum up the corn muffin crumbs, due to the lack of vacuum, or clean up the bathtub because I could not get my paws into the container of Lysol wipes.

Despite this Neighborhood being "Neighborhood Watch," there is obviously NO "Watching" going on or this terrible Intrusion would never have happened.  The best defense is obviously to leave me free to roam, Non-crated, able to defend the home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Crate Offense Continues</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618314</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Sep 2009 13:09:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618314</guid>
		<description>I have been granted a temporary reprieve from Crating as Mom did FIND a Replacement Door, however, i ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been granted a temporary reprieve from Crating as Mom did FIND a Replacement Door, however, it is "Out of Stock."  In my previous diary entry I did receive a question as to whether there were any mysterious "crate paintings" in a crate as old as this one.  Upon further inspection, I realized that yes, that is what those faint lines are.  And here I thought they were the claw marks of countless dogs gone before me who had died while being crated in this torture chamber.

I am further miffed at Mom as she had made her way about the Internet looking at Crates.  There are many Crates available that are Fine Pieces of Quality Furniture!  Yes, crates that can double as End Tables!  Why must I, Pennie, be shoved into Archaic 1986 plastic clam shells screwed together,  when I could be Crated in a Furniture-Grade Chamber of Luxury?  Wouldn't that look much better at the top of the stairs than this current Antique?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mom just embarrasses me.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618120</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 31 Aug 2009 17:49:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/618120</guid>
		<description>The family, minus me and Oldest Lad headed off to Cleveland this weekend.  When they left, Oldest La ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The family, minus me and Oldest Lad headed off to Cleveland this weekend.  When they left, Oldest Lad was at work.  Mom left me in the crate!  Oh, she thought she was so clever.  I have been displaying Separation Anxiety of late, so Mom thought a Crating was in order.  After initially leaving, Mom and Little Lad came back into the house for a forgotten item.  All seemed well.

When Oldest Lad got home from work I greeted him happily at the door of the Family Room.  A fresh spot of urine was left outside Mom's bedroom door.  I had freed myself from my Crating, but was smart enough to wait until the Family was "Really" gone.

Mom realized that the electrical taped, jury-rigged broken door fix attempt was just not going to work.  She really had known this for a while and had mentioned it on several, if not more, occasions to Dad and Oldest Lad, neither of whom ever take seriously anything that she mentions.

On a whim, Mom did an Internet Search.  Lo and Behold, Replacement Doors exist for this Crate.  However, Mom was not exactly sure the Crate Model.

This is when it gets embarrassing.

Mom calls the Crate Company.
The Crate Company Person tells her where on the crate to find the Model Number.
Mom says the Model Number.

The Crate Company Person Pauses.  Then asks, "Uh, exactly how old is this crate?"

Mom:  "I bought it in 1986."

There was another pause from the Crate Company Person.

I just wanted to paw my way under the deck and hide.

How embarassing.  1986.  Ronald Reagan was still president.

However, there IS still a Replacement Door available.  I think Mom is going to embarass me further by purchasing one.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dad's compulsive behavior</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616930</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:54:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616930</guid>
		<description>Pennie:  &quot;Mom, did you realize that a new law mandates that Mental Health MUST be covered at a highe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pennie:  "Mom, did you realize that a new law mandates that Mental Health MUST be covered at a higher rate by ALL Insurance Plans as of 2010?"

Mom:  "Yes, Pennie, I was aware of this.  Why do you bring this up?"

Pennie:  "I am deeply concerned for Dad.  I got very little sleep last night!  Dad spent most of the wee hours of the morning compulsively cleaning the carpet in the upstairs hallway!  You must urge him to see a doctor at once about this strange behavior!"

Mom:  "Er, Pennie, Dad was cleaning the carpet because we were rudely awakened to the horrific stench of the diarrhea you had in the upstairs hallway sometime during the night.  The odor had already given me such a migraine I was ready to vomit.  THAT'S why Dad was cleaning the hallway carpet at 4:30 am."

Pennie:  "Oh.  Nevermind then."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cooking Rabbit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616709</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 25 Aug 2009 13:39:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616709</guid>
		<description>Scene:  Mom, looking through cookbooks to make up a shopping list.

Mom:  &quot;Pennie, it says right h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Scene:  Mom, looking through cookbooks to make up a shopping list.

Mom:  "Pennie, it says right here in "The Joy of Cooking," THE pre-eminent cookbook of all time, that eating raw rabbit can cause Tularemia or Trichinosis!  You MUST stop your single-minded goal of rabbit-catching!  It says that hunters should wear gloves while skinning the rabbit to avoid Tularemia, and then cook the rabbit thoroughly to avoid Trichinosis."

Pennie: "Mom, the only solution then is for ME to catch the rabbit, then for YOU to put on gloves, skin the rabbit, and cook me up a nice Hassenpfeffer Stew!"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Acorn Grenades</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616533</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 24 Aug 2009 18:51:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616533</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad read my diary about the terrorist attack I suffered from the Acorn Grenade Launching Squi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad read my diary about the terrorist attack I suffered from the Acorn Grenade Launching Squirrels, and he was immediately worried for my safety.  Finally, with Other Woman safely tucked away at University and Oldest Lad lacking the funds to pay for gas money to drive the hour drive, I am getting some well-deserved attention!

Oldest Lad's main concern was that the Squirrels were actually throwing members of ACORN down from the tree, as opposed to Oak Acorns.  Ewww.  Regardless of a dog's political bent, it would be quite disgusting for the yard to be littered with members of ACORN thrown form the Oak Tree.  Anyhoodle, ACORN has changed it's name to Community Organizations International, so it HAS to be Oak Acorns that the Squirrels are launching at me, Pennie.

I was outside again this evening and the Acorn Grenade Attacks were continuing!  I am declaring immediate All-Out, Including Eating if I can catch 'em, Warfare on the Squirrels.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Is Squirrel better than Hassenpfeffer?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616451</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:50:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/616451</guid>
		<description>I have had Hassenpfeffer on my brain for weeks now!  Oh, those tempting little nesting bunnies.  The ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have had Hassenpfeffer on my brain for weeks now!  Oh, those tempting little nesting bunnies.  They are nesting in the decorative grass right outside the back door.  The minute I exit the house I stick my snout in that grass, hoping for some bits O' bunny.  Twice I have caught bunnies.

Today, I was standing under the Oak tree, relaxing with Mom while she pushed the Wee Lass in the Wee Lass Swing.  Pow!  Pow!  Suddenly I was pelted from above with Acorn Grenades!  My skull could have been pierced by those Squirrel Launched Missiles!  Then that squirrel just sat up in the Oak Tree and stared down at me with his dark, soul-less eyes, taunting me, threatening to launch more Acorn Grenades at Me, Mom and the Wee Lass.

I wonder how Squirrel tastes?  Nice fresh Suburban Squirrel?  Yep.  Perhaps I am going to refocus my efforts on catching me a Squirrel, after all THEY Started IT first, launching the first Acorn Grenade Strike.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I may not particularly like her, but I am still proud.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/614703</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:14:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/614703</guid>
		<description>I am not overly fond of Wee Lass.  I do like to clean up her high chair tray.  I do like to lick her ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am not overly fond of Wee Lass.  I do like to clean up her high chair tray.  I do like to lick her face.  I do enjoy the extra walks (and attention) I get as I get to wander about the yard and neighborhood with her.  I am VERY protective of her if strangers stop by.

Still, I have not developed the deep fondness for her that I have for Oldest Lad and Mom.

However, I can still be proud.

Wee Lass now BARKS!  and PANTS!

Yes, in her very limited vocabulary, Wee Lass has learned important words:  Bark and Pant.

How can I not be proud?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Minor Revenge</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/613631</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:20:43 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/613631</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad was busy all afternoon in the second garage making a gift for Other Woman!  She is leavin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad was busy all afternoon in the second garage making a gift for Other Woman!  She is leaving for college, finally, thank Dog, at the end of next week, and Oldest Lad is making something for her dorm room.  Oldest Lad would not let me help him!  I have been banned from unsupervised access to the back yard of late due to my Bunny Obsession.  Oldest Lad feared I would stray from the garage over to grab a Bunny Snack while he was buy using the jig saw.

It's not like I think this will get Other Woman out of my life.  Her University is only an hour away and starts in August.  Once Oldest Lad heads to HIS University in September, he will actually be closer, only about 45 minutes away from her.  He won't have a car, but his roommates do.

Anyhoodle, Oldest Lad spent all afternoon in the garage.  The rest of the Family left to go to The Beach Waterpark.  Cheapskate that she is, Mom discovered The Beach has an end of summer Buy One Get One Deal, where post 3:00 pm, the Family could get in for two people on ONE $15.50 ticket (that's $7.75 each) plus The Beach is half off parking for AAA members who show their card.   In 3 hours Middle Lad and Little Lad rode about 20 Water Rides because The Beach is less crowded late in the day.

Then Oldest Lad abandoned me to go spend time with Other Woman.  There I was, all alone, craving a Bunny Snack, with a Full Bladder.  So I PEED on the carpet right outside Oldest Lad's room.  Hah.  Too bad The Family came home before Oldest Lad and discovered it.  I meant for Oldest Lad to Step In IT on the way to his bedroom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Breath</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/613043</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Aug 2009 08:15:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/613043</guid>
		<description>Pennie:  &quot;Well, Mom, I don't ever criticize you over YOUR breath.  Even in the morning.  In fact, I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pennie:  "Well, Mom, I don't ever criticize you over YOUR breath.  Even in the morning.  In fact, I can't think of a time I have ever disliked your breath."

Mom:  "Pennie, I can almost tolerate Butt Breath, and I love your kisses, but Bunny Breath just goes to far."

Pennie:  "Hmmph.  With the economy and taxes and all I thought you would appreciate me finding my own food.  Less to go on that VISA bill Dad is always harping about."

Mom:  "Sorry Pennie.  Bunny Breath just goes too far.  Bunnies are for hopping and eating clover, not for supplementing your diet."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Camp Kennel</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/612783</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:42:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/612783</guid>
		<description>I am exhausted after my ten plus days spent at Camp Kennel while the Family vacationed in Charleston ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am exhausted after my ten plus days spent at Camp Kennel while the Family vacationed in Charleston, SC.  I was not even invited, despite dogs being allowed on the beach from 5:00 pm until 10:00 am!  Mom says she thinks I would be happier at the Kennel anyway because I would probably panic any time I was left alone at the rental house, and Dad has adjusted to the damages of the door I have attempted to claw through, but the House Rental Agency may not adjust so well.

This was my first visit to Camp Kennel without Mulligan.  We always camped in separate runs, but still, he was there to stave off home sickness.  

Report:  Very Sweet! Very demanding of affection!

Well, duh!  RDA  (Recommended Daily Allowance) of Affection!  At home there are multiple humans to demand affection from, and multiple venues:  the whole house.  If I can't find some affection in one room I can wander off and find someone else, or go make a Pennie Nest amongst all of Little Lad's blankets and stuffed animals. 

At Camp Kennel I was only allowed to radiate my beauty from the confines of my run.  Obviously I radiated well because the report was that I did indeed receive affectionate rubbings every day, although perhaps not up to my usual RDA.

Now I must sleep for I know what is coming next:  the post Camp Kennel bath.

Pupdate:  I did receive a few "tokens" of thought while the Family was gone, which is unusual as Mom is not one for souvenirs.  Mom found a car window decal that says "Mutt."  Mom sees all the SUVs, vans, and trucks sporting their Pet Breed decals, and Mom finally found one that says "Mutt."  This is quite monumental as Mom is vastly opposed to any sort of bumper stickers or decals on her Van.  She only succumbed to ONE High School Band decal because there are so many Silver Odyssey Mini-Vans that she needed some way to prevent her from constantly attempting to break into strange Odysseys.  

Mom bought me a new collar, a Martingale no less, with pictures of sock monkeys all over it.  Quite faboo, and since it is a Martingale I can wear it as soon as I am bathed.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>So concerned about the FAMILY food safety, but no care for mine!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609968</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 11:20:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609968</guid>
		<description>It is really sad, but Mom and I will just never be able to have that close relationship that I so de ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is really sad, but Mom and I will just never be able to have that close relationship that I so desire.  I know that I view her as inept, and she senses that, but that should not hinder our ability to bond!

Mom is ever mindful of Food Safety.  She carefully wipes the counters.  After she chops meat on a cutting board, she still wipes the counter, in case any germs leaped off the cutting board onto the counter.  Mom freezes all meat that comes home from the grocery store if it has not been used after 24 hours.  Mom reads the "use by" date on products and for the most part, out-dated items are not to be found, unless it is on a seldom used item, in which case Mom checks the "use by" date  before use.

Right this very minute, there are at least two, probably more, extremely FRESH, bunny rabbits, right outside my back door.  I have been pacing anxiously by the back door all day.  I am quite anxious to use them, obviously before they get stale!  I am sure they have a limited "use by" date and must be consumed fresh!

Does Mom want me to consume "Old" bunny rabbits, catch salmonella and die, after having profuse diarrhea all over the house?

As in my previous entry, I have my bag of Birdseye mixed vegetables, I have my pot of boiling water, Oh, I would even eat them RAW; I just must get those bunnies while they are still fresh!

Mom just cares nothing for the safety of what I eat.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A girl's gotta eat!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609874</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:35:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609874</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Pennie, what are you doing with that bag of Birdseye frozen mixed vegetables!?&quot;

Pennie, lo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Pennie, what are you doing with that bag of Birdseye frozen mixed vegetables!?"

Pennie, looking guilty:  "Uh, nothing."

Mom:  "Pennie, you put that pot away and get away from the stove.  Now WHAT are you doing?"

Pennie:  "I'm gonna make me some Hasenfeffer.  Mmm.  Rabbit Stew.  For that baby bunny that's sitting outside waiting for it's mother.  And any other bunnies I find.  We don't want them stinking up our garage anymore do we?"

Mom:  "Pennie, I STRONGLY suspect that YOU are the cause of that rabbit that was found decaying in the garage, underneath the green car.  Dog knows the green car didn't run over it.  The green car hasn't started in years.  Geesh, who would have thought something so small could cause such a large odor.  Anyhoo, You Leave Those Rabbits Alone!"

Pennie:  "Well, for Dog's sake, Mom, a girl's gotta eat!"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Courtesy Dictates</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609681</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:29:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609681</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Pennie, doesn't courtesy dictate that you should at least wait until I leave the room before  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Pennie, doesn't courtesy dictate that you should at least wait until I leave the room before you jump up on the kitchen table and start eating the leftovers?"

Pennie:  blank stare]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Privacy, Please!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609604</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Jul 2009 08:29:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/609604</guid>
		<description>Pennie:  &quot;Mom, how can a girl get any privacy with the whole East side of the thicket lopped off to  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pennie:  "Mom, how can a girl get any privacy with the whole East side of the thicket lopped off to six feet?"

Mom:  "Er, Pennie, you Poop in the front yard as much as you poop in the back, for all of Suburbia to see."

Pennie:  "Well, duh, Mom, but when I want PRIVACY, I go in the backyard."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Breach in Suburbia!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/608316</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:44:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/608316</guid>
		<description>Landscapers came today to cut down a Canadian Western Hemlock tree that had taken up residency in th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Landscapers came today to cut down a Canadian Western Hemlock tree that had taken up residency in the front yard, a few feet from the garage.  This Canadian Hemlock was in quite poor health, clearly at the end of it's life and had no doubt come down from Canada to escape the Canadian Universal Health Care system and seek medical care from the United States.  Unfortunately, this tree had decided to send it's root system underneath the garage!  Our very garage floor was cracking and upheaving, and invading Canadian Conifers must go!

The poor Conifer claimed that it put off necessary oxygen into the atmosphere and consumed carbon dioxide, but it did not have a Cap and Trade Coupon!  So no, this Conifer had to go.

I was quite upset by the whole endeavor.  The annoying whir of the chain saws hurt my ears.  Then the Landscapers moved to the back yard.  There they went to work attacking the Honeysuckle in the back yard, another invading species from Japan.  Unfortunating their work was cut short when they discovered AND distrubed a gigantic nest of bees that was nesting in the Honeysuckle.  Hey, I am Pennie on the Spot when it comes to rodents, but after being stung a few times I have learned to leave bees along.  The Landscapers decided they must come back on Monday when perhap the bees have found other living quarters and are not engaged in full riot mode.  Meanwhile, I shall only go out as necesssary, and in the FRONT.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What about a Daily Human Tip?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/608058</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:11:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/608058</guid>
		<description>Mom signed up to get the Daily Dog Tip from Dogster.  I am considerably irked by today's tip.  Today ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom signed up to get the Daily Dog Tip from Dogster.  I am considerably irked by today's tip.  Today's tip is about how to keep a dog from getting into the trash while left unattended.  For regular trash, Mom has those horrible Simple Human trash cans.  They have a lid that is opened only by stepping on a lever.  AND they are made of cast iron and all hopes of knocking them over to get them opened is futile.

Anyhoo, this Daily Dog Tip hands out all sorts of behavior tips for us dogs.  Well what about a Daily Human Tip for helping us dogs cure our owners of THEIR insensitivities or bad habits?

Yeah those humans don't mind posting about OUR habits but what if we turned around and starting posting some of THEIR habits?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Beware the Geek.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607532</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:24:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607532</guid>
		<description>Middle Lad and Little Lad are attending their annual Geek Camp this week.  It is not overnight, for  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Middle Lad and Little Lad are attending their annual Geek Camp this week.  It is not overnight, for aren't most Geeks bed-wetters?  It is fully air conditioned, for most Geeks are also Allergy Prone.  The camp is meant for the Enrichment of Geeks.  I find it very troublesome!

Middle Lad's camp theme does not seem too bad.  His group is building and programming robots, out of Legos (the Geek tool, what else!) that could be used for a Moon Mission.  In light of the Fortieth Anniversery of the Walk on the Moon AND the hopes that Geeks will soon return to the moon this does seem appropriate.

I am quite worried, however, about Little Lad's Camp Theme.  Little Lad is building AND programming Animal Robots.  I thought the WebKinz were bad enough, which is why I regularly bite their little noses off.  But having a whole room full of Little Lad Peers building AND programming Robotic Animals is quite sinister indeed!

Sensient Animals, or Living Animals at least have some Morality!  The first day, Little Lad built a Robot Bird.  Where does Bird Flu come from?  Live Birds.  What terrible strain of flu could come from a Robot Bird, with no morals, no qualms about the number of birds to die from the passage of Bird Flu, and a perfect Computer Coded Version of Bird Flu from the Evil Genius Minds of 8 Year Old Boys, caring only that they get extra days off of school??!

The next project is a Robot Crocodile!  At least Living Crocodiles are limited by food, territory, and even the right grasp about the jaws.  An Evil Geek 8 Year Old cares not for territory, only to build a snapping machine that can rip a board in two (or a human) in the least amount of time and most gore possible!

Why are little Geeks sent to Camps such as this, and given horrid projects such as these?  I thought life with Mulligan was difficult enough but what if Little Lad learns to create a Robot Dog with Dog knows what skills that Little Lad has dreamt up from his days living with Mulligan?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Glimmer of Hope</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607236</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 16:49:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607236</guid>
		<description>Normally I have only distain for the time that Oldest Lad spends with Other Woman.  This afternoon I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Normally I have only distain for the time that Oldest Lad spends with Other Woman.  This afternoon I gleaned just the slightest glimmer of hope from their time together.  The two went shopping at The Container Store.  For accroutements for the dormitory housing of the Other Woman.  And yes, I have to admit that I'd like to accidentally push Other Woman into a Rubbermaid Bin and then stand on the lid, but I won't do stoop to that level.
Here are my reasons for hope:
Other Woman is NOT going to the same University as Oldest Lad.  Unfortunately, there is a mere 45 minutes distance between the two Universities, but still they are Separated.

Other Woman begins her Higher Education at the end of August, whilst Oldest Lad does not begin HIS until the end of September.  Sadly, he does plan to move in to his "Off Campus" house at the beginning of September, but it Does Allow Dogs, and I, Pennie, shall be FREE Daily, while Other Woman shall be securely attending classes daily.

Other Woman is attending a University known for it's "Mergers."  Oh, that may sound bad, but they are "Mergers" of Their Own Kind.  In fact, Mom and Dad are a Miami Merger, although they did not meet and marry until several years post-Miami.  Statistically, this renders it more likely that a Merger will occur between Other Woman and some Other Miami Man rather than Oldest Lad.

Not much, but it is all I have to cling to in these summer days of darkness.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Will I be next?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607096</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 09:07:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/607096</guid>
		<description>Last night, as usual, Oldest Lad had Other Woman over, and cooked dinner.  The dinner was not so bad ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, as usual, Oldest Lad had Other Woman over, and cooked dinner.  The dinner was not so bad.  Grilled steaks and scallops wrapped in bacon.

However, Oldest Lad AND Other Woman wrote a note in chalk at the end of the driveway. 
"Kids for Sale"
"Shots up to date"
"Housebroken"
"Groomed"
"Price Negotiable"

Mom was NOT in on this.  She has often pondered selling one or more of the Lads for medical research, but would never post a sign in the driveway.  If Oldest Lad did THIS to impress Other Woman, will he be trying to get rid of ME, Pennie, Next?

Up to this Other Woman I thought I was Oldest Lad's Best Gal.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Double Standard</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606663</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:56:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606663</guid>
		<description>If earlier icidents of today were not bad enough (being whored out for charity, see previous entry)  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ If earlier icidents of today were not bad enough (being whored out for charity, see previous entry) I discovered an evil Double Standard when it comes to the Other Woman.

Mulligan was a "blond."  Other Woman is blond.  Tonight Oldest Lad was attending a wedding of the sister of a friend.  He took Other Woman with him.  Oldest Lad wore his "blacks."  The "Blacks" were from Jazz Band days, black dress pants and black dress shirt.  Mulligan was shunned, banned, sent to the remotest regions of the Mulligan Compound whenever Oldest Lad wore his "blacks."

Other Woman, blond as Mulligan, cheerfully appeared upon Oldest Lad's arm while he wore his "blacks."  So Other Woman Hair is Acceptable to get all over the "blacks," yet Mulligan's Hair was not?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Churches are Human-itarian maybe, but NOT Dog-itarian.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606519</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Jul 2009 09:03:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606519</guid>
		<description>Oh, I should have known better than to get into the car with Mom this morning, noting the absence of ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh, I should have known better than to get into the car with Mom this morning, noting the absence of any of the Lads or the Wee Lass.  I soon found myself at:  Church.  I thought this could not be too bad, Churches are friendly places, and the one time I slipped out the van window and ran inside this Church it seemed nice enough.  But no.  I was driven around back, to discover that Churches may indeed be Humanitarian Organizations but they are certainly NOT Dogitarian Organizations!

The Church was hosting a Dog Wash.  To Raise Money!  Yes, I was whored out as a simple fund raiser.  Forced to be hosed down, lathered up, in full view of many other dogs, MALE and Female, right in the Church parking lot. 

After my abject humiliation I was given a bright scarf to wear, as if that would replace my faithfulness in America's Churches.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Gone too far!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606026</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:25:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/606026</guid>
		<description>My Absence Was Requested!  Oh, this time Oldest Lad and OW, Other Woman have just gone too far!  Jus ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Absence Was Requested!  Oh, this time Oldest Lad and OW, Other Woman have just gone too far!  Just see if I shall ever visit Oldest Lad at University this coming school year!

Other Woman was over, as usual these days, and Oldest Lad and Other Woman retreated to the basement to watch a movie.  Of course I followed them downstairs to join them.  Yes, it was quite nice at first.  Me, Oldest Lad, and Other Woman snuggled on the couch.

Everything was fine that is until I, Pennie, was Asked to Leave.  Yes.  Mom came downstairs to check her calendar book for what was scheduled for Thursday.  As she went back upstairs, Oldest Lad called out:  "Take Pennie with you!  Her Absence is Requested!"

Hmmph.  And Other Woman and I HAD been getting along of late.  She entertains Wee Lass, which gets Wee Lass out of my hair.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>And it all started with a missing flip flop.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/605052</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:07:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/605052</guid>
		<description>Oh, it was so gross.  And to think that thing has been lying beneath me, for well over a year, oh it ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh, it was so gross.  And to think that thing has been lying beneath me, for well over a year, oh it gives me the shivers!

Well over a year ago, the Little Lad had a few friends over playing in the yard.  One of the boys was wearing flip flops, or "thongs" as they called them in the Olden Days.  This Little Friend decided to see if his Thong, I mean Flip Flop, could fit between the slats of wood in the back porch deck.  Yes, indeed, this shoe fit and PLOP! it fell beneath the decking and into the nether regions.  Then three little boys began to press their sweaty faces upon the floor of the deck to peer into the darkness to see if perhaps they could in some way retrieve this flip flop.

Lo and behold, no flip flop was seen, but they discovered something staring back at them!  Something quite dead staring back at them.  Mom was called and Mom looked down into the back porch nether regions and yes, indeed, there was something dead staring back at her.  Mom convulsed a bit.  She informed Dad.  Dad said "Oh, I'll take care of it."

Anyhoodle, at least a year has passed and this dead thing has still been staring at the family from under the back porch.  Mom has still been making requests for it's removal and Dad has still been making faint murmurs of "getting to it."

To think, I, Pennie, spend a great portion of my life laying upon the picnic table on the back porch, just a few feet above this THING!

Oldest Lad removed the fencing that surrounds the deck.  Then he crawled under the deck and he removed The Thing.  I was with him, for moral support, the whole time.  It is unknown exactly what The Thing originally was, but at least it is no longer staring at me from the back porch nether regions.

Pupdate:  For Inquiring Minds:  Oldest Lad was too grossed out to look for the missing thong, er, Flip Flop, besides, the Little Friend was never that interested in the Missing Flip Flop once The Thing was discovered and that family has four boys, all close in ages, so probably just think the flip flop is under one of their couches lost somewhere.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Basement</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/604037</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 9 Jul 2009 11:54:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/604037</guid>
		<description>The basement is quite ugly.  It was finished in the mid-70s, before Mom and Dad lived in the house.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The basement is quite ugly.  It was finished in the mid-70s, before Mom and Dad lived in the house.  Fake wood paneling.  Bar.  The staircase was done "wrong" so that it is difficult to bring furniture up or down.  In face, the previous owners left a couch in the basement and the only way to get it out was that one day a neighbor brought over his "Saws All" and that was the end of the couch.

Anyhoodle, I decided that it was high time to upgrade and have started to remove the Carpet, one strand at a time, starting at the top step.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Court?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/603427</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 7 Jul 2009 13:16:06 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/603427</guid>
		<description>Today's Daily Dog Tip, sent to my Mom's very own email, was about taking a Dog to Court!  Was this m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today's Daily Dog Tip, sent to my Mom's very own email, was about taking a Dog to Court!  Was this meant for me???  I swear, I only did the Doggie Downers for a couple of days, and they were prescribed for me, by my personal physician, and really, I did not want them, but Mom slipped them to me as Soothing Cheese.

Is this article about taking a Dog to Court meant as a Warning to Me, Pennie?  Oh, what horror has Suburbia brought upon me:  my great fear of Fireworks has brought me to the lowness of using drugs to fight my fear, and now Dogster itself is warning me that I face going to court, even telling me what to wear!  Yes, Dogster recommends a light vest, for a dog faces a "Patting down" to be sure that no weapons are carried into the courtroom.  I never thought that simply accepting a few handfuls of "Soothing Cheese" from Mom would lead me to contemplate what I, Pennie, might wear in a Court of Law.  And how will this effect Oldest Lad?  For he is at University (home for the summer) majoring in Criminal Justice.  Will it effect HIM, having a dog considered a Criminal for accepting Soothing Cheese to combat Fireworks Fear?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Awakened from my Stupor.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/603050</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 6 Jul 2009 09:53:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/603050</guid>
		<description>I awoke from my Stupor to discover I was a Diary Pick of the Day!  I did not need a last dose of Soo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I awoke from my Stupor to discover I was a Diary Pick of the Day!  I did not need a last dose of Soothing Cheese, as Suburbia must have decided not to spend Sunday night attempting to blow themselves up.  Perhaps the realization set in that even if they set their homes ablaze, they would still have to pay off the mortgage.  No, I shan't give them that much credit for anyone stupid enough to set off large fireworks in their own backyard, risking their very own appendages, would not be smart enough to realize that the mortgage company would still expect those mortgage payments, whether the house was intact or just smoldering embers.

One doesn't see dogs attempting to blow off their own appendages in celebration of this great country's freedom, dogs are more intent on the finer parts of celebrating freedom:  food.

Until further Fireworks celebrations, I have sworn off any more Soothing Cheese, as I do not wish to be sent to Rehab.  I have seen previews, and even watched a few episodes of "The Cleaner."  Yes, he is quite handsome, but far too insensitive for me.  As far as Rehab, I am a simple Dog, and spending time with Celebrities would be too much for me, especially since I HATE pawdicures, prefer my natural hair color, and LOVE MEAT; the Vegetarian lifestyle of the Rehab Celebrity Crowd would not suit me nor I them.  Besides, the Mulligan Compound barely survives with ME to keep it running; it would fall apart if I had to do a stint in Rehab from too much Soothing Cheese.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Soothing Cheese makes me Pathetic!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/602863</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 5 Jul 2009 12:15:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/602863</guid>
		<description>I was just so pathetic, it was down right un-dogly of me.  I am so glad Mo (Mulligan) did not have t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was just so pathetic, it was down right un-dogly of me.  I am so glad Mo (Mulligan) did not have to see me like that.

Around mid-afternoon Mom gave me another piece of Soothing Individually Wrapped Processed American Cheese.  Special Cheese.  For the Fireworks.  I fear I shall have to have just one more dose tonight, for due to last night's rain, although there was a great quantity of Suburanite's attempting to remove their appendages and blow up their houses, the rain did reduce the chaos compared to last year.

Anyhoodles, last night there was a gathering at the Mulligan Compound.  Grilled Hamburgers.  Hot dogs.  Mac n cheese.  Potato salad.  Potato casserole.  Oh, the list goes on.  Due to the rain, Dad placed the Camp Table INside the house, and a buffet was set up.  The Camp Table is several inches LOWER than the kitchen table.  All that lovely food was perfectly at Pennie Snout Height.  

Mo would have had that table cleared in seconds.

Me?  Pennie?  I was so drugged from the Soothing Cheese that I just sniffed a few times at that gorgeous buffet and let it pass.  I was pathetic.  Completely off my game.  Those horrid fireworks have turned me into a burned out shell of my normal dogliness.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The quiet before the storm</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/602554</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 4 Jul 2009 07:46:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/602554</guid>
		<description>All was quiet in suburbia, and I had high hopes for a calm Independence weekend.  Just a few snap, s ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ All was quiet in suburbia, and I had high hopes for a calm Independence weekend.  Just a few snap, snap, snap of firecrackers, but really nothing to get a dog worried about.  Then long about 4 o'clock, Mom was just getting out of the shower, to go visit Middle Lad at camp, when I came running into the bedroom, stuck to the heels of Dad.  If I was stuck to the heels of Dad, it was a sure sign things were drastically amiss.

Suburbia had suddenly exploded with loud booms and cracks and flashes.  Mom said "this will not do, especially with a baby-sitter here to care for Little Lad and Wee Lass."

Mom removed the cellophane from a piece of Individually Wrapped Processed American Cheese and gave it to me.  I never realized how soothing Individually Wrapped Processed American Cheese could be.  Perhaps this was a new brand?  Next thing I knew I was singing songs from Pink Floyd "The Wall" Album.

Mom says she has some more Soothing Individually Wrapped Processed American Cheese for today, and perhaps tomorrow, too.  I don't know what she slipped into it, but if it can made listening to Suburbia attempt to blow their appendages off tolerable, then I am all for it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Used.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/601459</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:29:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/601459</guid>
		<description>I have new pictures posted on my Dogster page, but oh, it's not as if Mom was taking pictures becaus ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have new pictures posted on my Dogster page, but oh, it's not as if Mom was taking pictures because of her rapturous love for me, or her amazement at my beauty, such that it is.  No.  It was all a ruse because Middle Lad is at Boy Scout Camp this week and Mom must send him Mail.  Yes.  In addition to packing his ORGs (Outfit Ready to Go: one short, one Boy Scout T-shirt, one underwear, one pair socks, in Xlarge zippered bag OR one sleep short, one shirt, one underwear, in bag labelled PJs; enough ORGs for one week), sunscreen, bug screen, food, swim trunks, goggles, rain coat, medications, "etcetera, etcetera" as the King of Siam would say . . . . 

As an aside, in the "What to Bring List" it specifically stated that "all campers must bring at least 6 changes of underwear."  Apparently the campers may not be required to change their Outerwear ALL WEEK, but must change Underwear, well, at least the Outerwear would get cleaned if it rains.

Mom was also required to aid in fending off Home Sickness by sending mail.

Mom decided to send pictures of ME, Pennie, to Middle Lad, every day.  She even took a picture of Me and Little Lad, trapped together for at least 30 seconds in the crate.  She deleted this picture from Dogster after Izzy's Mom commented that the Social Worker might see this and NOT be amused.  Actually, if truth be told, the crate makes a great "play fort" and Little Lad and his friends have been known to spend hours playing in it, with the door NOT locked, for the benefit of any Social Worker readers.

Anyhoodles, I, Pennie, find myself once again utterly USED, underappreciated.  Or I could look at it that my stunning beauty far surpasses any Hallmark Cards that Mom could have purchased.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Van Gogh</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/600938</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 28 Jun 2009 18:56:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/600938</guid>
		<description>I am in a great, depsondant, despair.  At last I do understand the woe of Mulligan when Mom washed h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am in a great, depsondant, despair.  At last I do understand the woe of Mulligan when Mom washed his art work off of the back patio door windows.  Yes, he had created a masterpiece, a collage of colors, and themes of desperation, of the alienation he felt when trapped upon the back porch and would use his own paws to express himself, using the windows as his canvas.  Mom just erased it all with some Windex and paper towels, claiming it was just muddy paw prints that Mulligan put on the windows in his claim for attention when he wanted INside and Mom wanted him OUTside.

Mulligan was quite certain that Vincent Van Gogh, the artist famous for removing his own ear; actually did not remove his ear because of a LOVE scorned, but undoubtedly because his MOTHER had not understood him.

Anyhoodle, soon upon my arrival at the Mulligan Compound, I, Pennie, created a Masterpiece of my own.  In the Wooden and Screen Door of the Back Porch I personally created my own Doggie Door.  I am a dog who works with my Paws, and truly, working with the wood and screen, bending it to my will, and indeed making it into a MORE USEFUL item, no less, gave me great satisfaction.

Today.  Dad removed my Doggie Door.  The WHOLE Door.  In it's place he put a NEW door, with a Store-Bought Doggie Door.  To further spurn my beloved work of art, he put MY Door out next to the curb, for either the "trash pickers" or the trash pick-up.

Now I understand the tragic feelings of both Van Gogh and Mulligan.

I can't chew off an ear, for I can't bend my snout that way.  I could obsessively scratch an ear off, but really, I am much more of an obsessive/compulsive chewer/licker rather than a scratcher.

Instead, I think I shall seek revenge by gnawing off one of Dad's ears.  I think this is the perfect revenge, for Dad wears glasses, bifocals, even.  Losing an entire ear would make wearing glasses forever difficult.  Yes, he could switch to contact lenses, but forever he will still have problems with sun glasses.  Dad, you will forever regret how you tossed my Beautiful AND Useful work of ART!! out onto the tree lawn, like the empty recycling bottles.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Take your Dog to Work Day??</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/599295</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:44:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/599295</guid>
		<description>What is this Take Your Dog to Work Day?
First off, Mom is a stay at home Mom.  Don't get her confus ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ What is this Take Your Dog to Work Day?
First off, Mom is a stay at home Mom.  Don't get her confused with June Cleaver, however, Mom's personal idol is Lois from "Malcolm in the Middle."  Mom does own a string of real pearls but she never wears them.  Unlike June Cleaver, who wore a lovely dress, beautiful shoes, and her pearls, every day; Mom HATES dresses, trips in heels, and pearls just don't go with Oldest Lad's hand me down t-shirts.

Anyhoodle, since Mom stays at Home, obviously I go to Work with Mom every day.  And do most of Mom's work for her as well, I might add.

Dad also works out of the house many days.  I must constantly be running down to the basement to refocus him on to task, as he is easily distracted.

The last thing I, Nannie Pennie, Nurse Pennie, Environmental Pennie, needs is to have to GO TO WORK yet another day!  Pawsonally, how about giving me Friday off!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Go Green!  Get a Mutt!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/599139</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:12:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/599139</guid>
		<description>Hybrid Cars are all the rage these days what with the Invention of both the Internet AND Global Warm ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hybrid Cars are all the rage these days what with the Invention of both the Internet AND Global Warming by former Vice President Al Gore.

Still, all have a responsiblity to take of the earth, whether there is a belief in the Global Warming or Not.  Global Warming has hit Suburbia with a vengeance this week, and I pawsonally thank Dog for whatever politician invented Air Conditioning.

Anyhoo, it is assured that eventually oil will run out.  Dinosaurs and other creatures eventually ran out and died.  Therefore it is inevitable that their fossil remains will eventually run out.

Ergo, the recent emphasis on the Hybrid Car.

Well, what about Mutts?  Aren't Mutts Hybrid Dogs?  A mix of one breed of dog with another breed, just like Hybrid Cars mix fossil fuel with another energy source?

Yes!  Mutts should be all the Rage!  Mutts are the Green Dog Option!  Go environmental and invest in a Mutt Today!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dinner Consequences</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/596767</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 15 Jun 2009 06:12:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/596767</guid>
		<description>Did Oldest Lad think there would be no consequences to his Family Dinner with Other Woman?  Oh, sure ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Did Oldest Lad think there would be no consequences to his Family Dinner with Other Woman?  Oh, sure, I enjoyed the hamburger I got, and I begrudgingly went on a walk with Oldest Lad and Other Woman, but one had only to look at my face to see that I was not happy.

When it came time for bed, I made a firm left into Mom and Dad's room.  Mom has been complaining that I used her all school year, sleeping with her while Oldest Lad was gone, and then abandoning her as soon as Oldest Lad returned.  Mom put aside those thoughts, realizing that "Pennie was a dog scorned" and needed Mom's support.

I slept with Mom and Dad all night, refusing to join Oldest Lad when he went to bed.  No.  Oldest Lad is a Vile Betrayer.  He will have to earn me back.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Guess who is coming to dinner?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/596566</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 14 Jun 2009 14:23:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/596566</guid>
		<description>Other Woman is coming to dinner.  I am not happy.  Here I was so excited that Oldest Lad was finally ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Other Woman is coming to dinner.  I am not happy.  Here I was so excited that Oldest Lad was finally coming home from University, only to discover that he was not just coming home to spend time with me, but he has been spending time with Other Woman.

Yes.  Several nights this week Oldest Lad has been out quite late, well past my bedtime, with Other Woman.  I have had to go to bed with Mom, and then some time in the wee hours, Oldest Lad has retrieved me and I have gone to sleep with him.

Why does Oldest Lad need Other Woman?  I am going to have to think of a way to get rid of Other Woman.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>My Man is home!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594954</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 8 Jun 2009 14:09:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594954</guid>
		<description>My Man is home from University!  I am not so happy that his gal pal is helping him pack all his rubb ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Man is home from University!  I am not so happy that his gal pal is helping him pack all his rubbermaid bins, but still he is home!  The way boys wear their shorts riding down their arse, it's not like she hasn't seen his boxers anyway, for dog's sake, who hasn't?

Sorry, Mom, I'm done with ya, I was just using you while my Man was away.  Oh, but while he is at work I may still use you a bit.  That's just the way of the world.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Forced Volunteerism</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594610</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 7 Jun 2009 11:11:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594610</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad forced Mom to go with him to volunteer at the shelter yesterday.  Dad thought that it was ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad forced Mom to go with him to volunteer at the shelter yesterday.  Dad thought that it was a manipulative ploy on Oldest Lad's part to miraculously come home with a dog to replace Mulligan.  Mom did not fall for that trick.  Mulligan broke Mom's heart, cut right in two, and Mom has sworn off adding any new dogs to the Mulligan Compound.

I, Pennie, was particularly offended by the whole volunteering thing.  Oldest Lad volunteers at the shelter because he HAS to.  As part of accepting his University Scholarship he must complete 30 volunteer hours.  Being raised by Samson and then Tyler, naturally Oldest Lad has chosen to complete his obligation at the shelter.  (Dogs only.  Oldest Lad is even offended that Mom is going to give Oldest Lad's ancient sheets, which do not fit his bed anymore, and are "100 Dalmations" to boot, to the Cat room.  Oldest Lad does not like cats.)  But Mom has no business volunteering at the shelter!  She has a moral obligation to volunteer at school, and scouts, and Church, but I am quite insulted that she would spend time with other dogs volunteering at the shelter.

Mom came home just stinking of other dogs!  I can tolerate the whole "Oldest Lad stinking of other dogs" thing, because I know Oldest Lad must volunteer in order to keep his scholarship; leaving more money for gas to take me for car rides, and movies for me to spend time snuggling on the couch.

Anyhoo, one of the dogs ended up at the shelter because due to separation anxiety he destroyed a few towels and perhaps took a few bites out of a couch.

For Dog's sake!  What kind of humans adopted this dog!  How many Dogster Dogs can easily top that and not be "returned to the shelter!"  When these humans have a child will they put it up for adoption if it breaks a few glasses, or cries on the first day of Kindergarten?  Show some backbone!  What about making it through Driver's training?  Mom did not return Oldest Lad when he first started to drive and he would often forget which side of the yellow line the car was supposed to stay on.

Samson:  lived with Mom from age 6 weeks until his death at 13, once, while Mom was in bed with a Migraine, single pawedly removed and destroyed over 60 feet of baseboard.  He "feasted on the Word of the Lord," by chewing up Mom's treasured bible.  He removed several pieces of a couch.  That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Mulligan: lived with Mom for almost 4 years, chewed the corner of of Grandma's, may her soul rest in piece, antique table.  Dug up a section of carpet in Mom and Dad's room.

Pennie:  still "au courant."  Chewed through a seat belt in the mini-van to the tune of over a $400 repair.  Created her own doggie door in the back porch.

I, Pennie, just think the humans that adopted this poor "returnee" should not be allowed to adopt again and should be immediately be sent to the hospital for forced sterilization because if they can't put up with those dog antics, how will they tolerate a child?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Another go.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594108</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 5 Jun 2009 09:42:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/594108</guid>
		<description>Mom made another attempt to turn the backyard into a water park last night by purchasing a small pla ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom made another attempt to turn the backyard into a water park last night by purchasing a small plastic pool.  For Dog's sake, they have a YMCA membership!  I suppose I should be happy because if the family plays at home I can be included. 

I arrived here almost two years ago.  I promptly took apart a Pirate Pool.  Well we couldn't have Pirates here at the Mulligan Compound, now, could we?  I am frankly surprised that Mulligan let them get away with it.  The Pirate Pool is still sold at Target.  It is made of 752 vinyl parts, all needing to be blown up, and then assembled.

I took apart the Pirate Pool piece by piece.  Oh, first, there was just a sword or two missing, and Mom was able to offer condolences to the Little Lad:  "It's still useable, and besides, summer is almost over."  Pretty soon I got down to the nitty gritty of chewing my way through the main pool.  By then the Lads were back in school, so it was OK.

Then last summer out came home not one, but two slip and slides.  Little Lad broke his arm just two weeks into the summer and so the slip and slides stayed in storage as he healed.  Then one day they came out and both were set up at the same time!  While Mom was preparing supper afterwards and the slip and slides were drying off, I commenced chewing them up as well.  They are so dangerous anyway!  Then out came the vinyl inflatable pool.  One bite and that was dispensed with as well.  I also chewed up several squirt guns.

Now Mom has brought home a hard plastic pool in the hopes that even if I chew on it, it can still be fixed with duct tape.  We'll see.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Well, it coulda been me.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/593065</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 1 Jun 2009 14:27:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/593065</guid>
		<description>Mom saw somthing that really grossed her out laying in the myrtle ground cover in the front bushes. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom saw somthing that really grossed her out laying in the myrtle ground cover in the front bushes.

She immediately looked at me with accusing eyes!  She was certain it was the remains of a CAT!

There were no flies or bugs, so whatever it was, was long dead.  It was a mixture of dark brown and light brown fur.  Now Mom has always been impressed that I, Pennie, am an Independent Gal, that doesn't need any human to provide Kibble.  Oh, I do love Kibble, but I am a hunter; I can provide my own meals, thank you.  Unfortunately, most of my prey has learned of my skills and has "moved on" to other yards.  Drat this collar; unlike the nomads who follow their prey, I must stay within the confines of the Invisible Fence.

Mom was certain that I, Pennie, had killed a cat, or dug up the remains of the next door neighbors cat that Dad had buried over a year ago.  For over a week, Mom left this mass of grossness in the myrtle, trying to convince Dad to remove it.

Finally, Dad retrieved the Pooper Scooper and used the rake portion to begin the scooping process.

It wasn't a CAT!  It wasn't even an animal!  It was a giant thicket of human hair:  the hair that Oldest Lad had trimmed off of Little Lad and Middle Lad when he buzzed their heads a few weeks ago.  Instead of throwing the hair in the trash, he threw the whole wadded up mass in the front bushes, where it sank down and grew into a Dead Cat.

Apology accepted, Mom, although I am indeed impressed that you think I am capable of taking down that size of prey.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>One step closer!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591959</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 28 May 2009 14:30:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591959</guid>
		<description>Here, on our very own Dogster, is an article that says soon Auto Insurance will be available for dog ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Here, on our very own Dogster, is an article that says soon Auto Insurance will be available for dogs.

That brings all of us dogs one step closer to being able to drive!

Yep, once less excuse.

Dad:  "No, Pennie, you can't drive because you have no auto insurance."

Well forget that lame excuse!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not that kind of dog!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591665</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 27 May 2009 11:52:06 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591665</guid>
		<description>Mulli and Mom had a &quot;thing&quot; for each other.  Well, first off, I am Oldest Dog's Dog.  He calls me hi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulli and Mom had a "thing" for each other.  Well, first off, I am Oldest Dog's Dog.  He calls me his "Love," his "Lovely," and other terms of endearment.  I will admit that Mom is most definitely second in line Fav.  And I have been using her while Oldest Lad is at University.

Mom and Mulligan used to "make out."  Yeah, Mom would nibble on Mulligan's gigantic ears, and rub his over-sized head, and Mulligan would slobber Mom's face  all over with his gigantic tongue.  Mom even let Mulli sleep with his head on her pillow.  I am allowed, as well, to put my head on Mom's pillow, but no one else, not even DAD! is allowed to put any body part on Mom's pillow.

Now Mom wants to nibble on MY ears.  Oh, I don't mind so much if she wants to stroke my head a bit.  A bit.  That's it.  I am just not that kind of dog.  No ear nibbling, please.  And I will use my tongue to cleanse a person's sinus cavities or bits of leftover food, but forget it if Mom thinks I am going to go slobbering her face just to display some twisted form of affection.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Neighborhood Property</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591381</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 26 May 2009 11:00:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591381</guid>
		<description>Last night I took Mom, Dad, Little Lad and Wee Lass for a bit of an excursion.  I decided we should  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I took Mom, Dad, Little Lad and Wee Lass for a bit of an excursion.  I decided we should take a walk on the PUBLIC, mind you, streets of the rather, ah, exclusive neighborhood behind the Mulligan Compound.  Mom was once walking Mulligan in that neighborhood and was informed that she and Mulligan should leave.  Now that Mulligan is gone, Mom is not sure if the "you should not be walking here" was directed at  both Mom and Mulligan, or just to Mulligan.  Mom knows that she should not let some stupid woman's comments bother her, but it got her dander up, and in general she does not walk much in That Neighborhood, with or without Mulligan; despite knowing many very friendly, normal people who live in the neighborhood.

Anyhoo, as soon as our Entourage passed the Clubhouse/Pool/Playground, Wee Lass began to throw a fit.  She wanted to go play at the playground.  There is a sign at the Clubhouse/Pool/Playground, that it is for "members use only."  Mom is certain that MOST of the fine citizens of the neighborhood would not mind if Wee Lass played on the playground.  Still, Mom is certain there are a few stinkers (such as THAT Woman) who would prefer that Wee Lass, as a "Non-Member" should not play at the playground.

At my very own corner, the edge of the Mulligan Compound, is a Stop Sign.  Ever since the New Neighborhood opened, traffic has tripled past the Mulligan Compound, going to the New Neighborhood, and going through the New Neighborhood, as it provides a short cut.  It is quite aggravating how few people stop, or even slow down at the Stop Sign, and indeed the Stop Sign a little further down.

I, Pennie, figured this out.  In the New Neighborhood, the Clubhouse/Pool/Playground is for "Members Only."  Everyone else should have the courtesy NOT to use those venues.

Obviously, the Members of the New Neighborhood are simply showing US, on our street the same courtesy.  The Stop Sign belongs to Our Street, and must be for Our Street Members Only.  They are simply being courteous to us by NOT using OUR Stop Sign; just as they expect us to be courteous to them and NOT use THEIR Clubhouse/Pool/Playground.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Memorable Memorial Day!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591054</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 25 May 2009 09:38:25 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/591054</guid>
		<description>Surprise!  Dad gave me a bath yesterday.  I suppose I must apologize, for in retaliation I ate a Dia ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Surprise!  Dad gave me a bath yesterday.  I suppose I must apologize, for in retaliation I ate a Diaper Delight and tore up the remnants, upon one of Dad's Work Shirts.

This morning there was a PARADE In My Honor!

The morning started out routine enough.  Dad loaded up Little Lad, wearing his Baseball Uniform (but the family calls in Bay-Ball, after some comedy routine about bay-ball been belly belly good to me,) and Middle Lad, wearing his Boy Scout Uniform, into the mini-van.

We went to a park.  There we "assembled."

Next thing I know, I am walking down Main Street Mount Washington, the Honoree of a Pennie Parade!  My adoring fans waved at me, and pointed at me and exclaimed at my beauty!  There were fire trucks, and bicycles, and Boy Scouts, and Little Leaguers, and Girl Scouts, and people tossed Candy at me!

Imagine!  A Pennie Parade, just for me, on Memorial Day.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Payback.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/590851</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 24 May 2009 15:22:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/590851</guid>
		<description>Dad gave me a bath today.  Normally Mom or Oldest Lad bathe me.  Not Dad.

I ate and then shredded ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad gave me a bath today.  Normally Mom or Oldest Lad bathe me.  Not Dad.

I ate and then shredded the leftovers, of a Diaper Delite, upon one of Dad's Work Shirts.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Door, Schmoor!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/588627</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 16 May 2009 07:34:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/588627</guid>
		<description>Well, what does the family expect!  I work full time as Nannie Pennie, taking care of the Wee Lass ( ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, what does the family expect!  I work full time as Nannie Pennie, taking care of the Wee Lass (as if anyone consulted me on her acquisition,) Little Lad and Middle Lad.  Then I had to spend a stint as Nurse Pennie when Oldest Lad had his Second, yes, his Second Knee Reconstruction Surgery.  My nursing skills were once again insulted.  When Oldest Lad went for his Post-Op Visit, the Doctor noticed all the Dog Hair stuck on Oldest Lad's knee brace.  The Doctor informed Oldest Lad to be sure that I, Nannie Pennie, did not lick the Surgical Sites, as that would lead to infection.  Of course I would not lick the Surgical Sites!  Where does this Doctor think I got my Nursing Certification?  The Internet?

Last night, Dad and Little Lad packed up and left to go camping for Indian Guides.  Mom, Wee Lass, and Middle Lad left to go Dog Knows Where.

I am sorry to say that I suffered a bit of well, anxiety.  After all that has been placed upon my 50 pound frame, what does the family expect!  When Mom returned home she discovered I had removed a few chunks from the door to the Utility Room.  The door was already scratched.  Mulligan scratched it.  He used to scratch it while listening to his Kibble being poured and having to wait all of 15 seconds before being allowed to race into the Utility Room to devour his Iams.

So I say, Door, Schmoor!  It was already scratched, what's a few missing chunks?  Maybe I am just turning it into a Doggie Door, like I did in the back porch.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>And she calls (called) herself a scientist!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/588158</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 14 May 2009 15:48:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/588158</guid>
		<description>Last night there was a major thunder storm and torrential rain fall.  At 2:00 am the Weather Radio e ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night there was a major thunder storm and torrential rain fall.  At 2:00 am the Weather Radio even went off, warning off the imminent Thunder Storm Warning.  By the way, this is a good investment.  It can be set to just the counties near by so it does not go off too much.  As we live in one county but on the very edge of another, and practically falling down a hill into the Ohio River, which is owned by Kentucky;  ours is set for those three pertinent counties.

Anyhoo.  This morning Mom opened the front door to let me outside.  Laying on the front porch was a drenched, drowned, dead mouse.  A perfectly edible morning breakfast!

Mom, back in her research days actually had to work with mice.  As soon as she could, she moved into another line of work.  Unfortunately, she did have to endure some time in this field as it was just her and the Oldest Lad fending for themselves, and well, the Oldest Lad needed to be fed and diapered.

So one would think that Mom would NOT think ANYTHING of a Mouse Morsel!

Some Scientist Mom is!  She slammed the door and would not let me out to consume this perfectly edible mouse.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pithy attempts to win me over.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/587493</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 May 2009 08:07:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/587493</guid>
		<description>With Mulligan gone, Mom has been trying to &quot;Win me over.&quot;  Really, she has felt quite USED since Old ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ With Mulligan gone, Mom has been trying to "Win me over."  Really, she has felt quite USED since Oldest Lad left for college.  While he is away at school I follow her around the house as her constant shadow and I sleep nestled between her legs.  The moment Oldest Lad pops in for a visit, I am ALL HIS.

Mom was begrudgingly accepting of "being used" while she still had all of Mulligan's Utmost Adoration, but now she is not satisfied at all.  First off, I have to admit to being a bit "unsettled" in Mulli's absence.  I insist on company while eating my kibble.  I sigh frequently to let Mom know that I feel the full burden of being Nannie Pennie, Nurse Pennie, and now Grief Counselor.

Mom has taken to Plying Me with gifts.  Even my Fav:  Kellogg's Cracklin' Oat Bran Cereal.  Really, it is a must try.  The Bran in the name puts humans off, but it tastes like Oatmeal Cookies.

I do pity Mom sometimes.  I spent a good deal of time with her yesterday snuggled in her lap while she crocheted.  Wee Lass was in a bad mood and Mom and I were both in fear, trying to escape Wee Lass' terror until her nap time.

However, if Mom thinks that she can Ply me with gifts she is wrong.  I am the Oldest Lad's Dog, and after that I spread myself amongst the family.  I will still allow myself to catered to.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Well in Paw.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/587379</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 11 May 2009 18:23:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/587379</guid>
		<description>Mulligan continues to worry, even up at the Bridge.  I must assure him, I have things Well in Paw do ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulligan continues to worry, even up at the Bridge.  I must assure him, I have things Well in Paw down here.  Frankly, without his constant interference I think I can manage the Pennie Complex quite nicely, thank you.  Mulligan was always worried about catching some disease, or a new terror threat, or the contents of Mom's purse.  Me?  I have little time for nonsense.  Accounting for Mom's general ineptness, I have a family to raise, for Dog's sake.  And unlike Mulli, who was OBSESSED with Mom; I do try to share myself amongst the family members.  Yes, Mom is having a hard time with this.  She is used to being Mulli's Favorite and not having to share the devotion with the rest of the family.  She is just going to have to "suck it up" shall we say.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Worried Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583751</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:49:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583751</guid>
		<description>As I prepare for my upcoming days as both Nannie and Nurse, I have been setting the house in order t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As I prepare for my upcoming days as both Nannie and Nurse, I have been setting the house in order the best I can, consider Mom's basic lack of organization.
I am very worried at some inherent problems I see in humans.

"Barney" the Purple Dinosaur.  Besides being wrong in and of itself; Barney sings:  "Everything is better with a friend."  I can think of many things NOT better with a friend.  For example:  A colonoscopy.

Why can humans buy packets of knives, forks, and spoons as a combo, packets of spoons only, packets of forks only, but there is no packet for knives only?

Why aren't Baby Wipes flushable?  Toilet Paper is flushable.  I have seen (and savored) what comes out of the Wee Lass, and trust me, it should be flushed!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nannie Pennie, Nurse Pennie, what is a Pennie to do?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583658</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Apr 2009 05:19:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583658</guid>
		<description>How hard can one Pennie be expected to work?  Besides my daily job of Nannying, due to Mom's intrins ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ How hard can one Pennie be expected to work?  Besides my daily job of Nannying, due to Mom's intrinsic ineptness as a maternal being, without anybody asking, I am once again being called on for my Nurse skills.

Little Lad has been ill now for near on a week with abdominal pain.  Night after night he has kept the family up with his writhing and crying and neediness.  Mom finally took him to the doctor, who said he has some sort of irritation and must try Zantac to attemt to settle his stomach down.  I have had no sleep, and what little I have had has been a constant shift from the bed to the couch as Mom and Dad shuffle between Little Lad upstairs and downstairs.

To top this off, with NO Prio Consultation of MY schedule, Oldest Lad is having surgery on Thursday.  He has once again ruined his Bionic Knee and must have it repaired.  I will have to spend the next 5 or so days supervising Oldest Lad in and out of the Knee Machine, the Ice Machine, back and forth to the bathroom, (OK, I do this anyway,) and soothe his painful body with my warm healing dog body.

I, Nannie Pennie, shall need a vacation!  Does anyone ever think to Consult ME first before they thrust all this upon me?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>You're not fully clean 'til you're dog-fully clean.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583020</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:43:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/583020</guid>
		<description>Humans sure do use a lot of items for personal hygeine.  Toilet paper.  Baby wipes.  Personal flusha ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Humans sure do use a lot of items for personal hygeine.  Toilet paper.  Baby wipes.  Personal flushable cleansing towelettes.  Kleenex.

What's the point in all this?  I do admit that I need a good bath on occasion, and I prefer to shower with either the Middle Lad, or with Mom.  Dad thought that Mom had foot odor, that was until he discovered "Frito Feet."  The Peeps never even knew that dogs could have foot odor until they met me.  I do my best to take care of Frito Feet on my own.  The best time of course, is from 3:52 am until 5:03 am, with repeated licking of each paw in turn, making loud smacking noises, and being sure to rock the bed, and resist all attempts to be evicted from the bed.  Any successful bed-removal is then met with repeated gagging or pacing convincing the peeps that iminent vomiting or a need to go potty is in order.

Anyhoo, back to the Personal Hygeine.  I find that extraneous personal cleansing products are a frivolous waste of money and indeed miss much of what I can quite easily get by cleaning myself the old fashioned way.  I readily volunteer my services to the rest of the family, standing by at diaper changes, insisting on going into the bathroom with all family members, and being constantly at paw when anyone has a cold.

Yes.  You're not fully clean 'til you're dog-fully clean.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Pups of Mine Would Behave That Way!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/580755</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:55:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/580755</guid>
		<description>I, Nannie Pennie, simply did not approve.  No.  Not one bit.  No pups of mine would be allowed to be ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Nannie Pennie, simply did not approve.  No.  Not one bit.  No pups of mine would be allowed to behave like Little Lad and his Little Friend.  My pups would have been firmly bitten on the nose and tossed into their Pennie Nest for bed.

Little Lad and Little Friend were playing "Fart Monster."  Oh, and Mom was even in the room.  She was putting paper linings into the drawers of the new dressers for Little Lad (a waste, I must say, the Little Lad should store his clothes in Rubbermaid Bins, for all the manners he has!  Besides, 90% of his clothes are hand-me-downs, so putting OLD clothes in NEW dressersis a further waste.  Dogs create our own new clothes, as needed.)

Little Lad and Little Friend were blowing Giant Skin Farts on their bare arms and legs.  Oh, the NOISE!  I was certain that at any moment one of them was surely going to explode.  I kept running in and out of the room, in great worriedness, running over to lick the Lads, and check their intactness, and of course, clean up any mess perchance one of them had indeed exploded!  This just set them off into great giggling fits, which made me further irritated and worried, and then sent them off into ever greater skin fart explosions.

Oh, if I could just have free Nannie Reign about here, I would bring some rules to this nonsense!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dad and I have a common interest!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/579552</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:25:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/579552</guid>
		<description>I have made it quite clear that my favorite is Oldest Lad, and that my back-up is Mom.  I just disco ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have made it quite clear that my favorite is Oldest Lad, and that my back-up is Mom.  I just discovered, however, that Dad and I share a common interest, a bond.
We both dig holes.

Last night was another night of poor sleeping arrangements at the Pennie Complex.  New bedroom furniture is due to arrive on Friday, and in preparation Dad took apart the old bed set, putting the box spring and mattress on the floor.  Mom did not think the "Concrete Queen" could get any firmer, but without the frame, it was harder even than sleeping on the sidewalk.

Dad rapidly snored off, but Mom tossed and turned, and finally at two am left for the couch.  Mulligan waited for Mom to be settled, then joined her, so she had to get up again to open up the baby gate.

I stayed with Dad.  Dad snuggled with me all night.  It wasn't until morning that Dad realized that he was snuggling with ME, Pennie, instead of Mom.

Dad:  "When did you go downstairs last night?"
Mom:  "I gave up and went down at two am."
Dad:  "Oh.  Well, I didn't notice until morning that you were gone.  I was snuggling with Pennie all night and thought it was you!  I should have known by her Skinny Butt that it was Pennie and not you."

Yes, Dad dug quite a large hole right there.  Perhaps he and I can go outside and hunt for moles together, since he is so adept at digging holes.

Mom did not say anything, she just stared at Dad and blinked a few times.  Then Dad said:  "I think I just myself a hole there, now, didn't I?"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Drives him right</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/578958</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Apr 2009 13:55:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/578958</guid>
		<description>Well, it just drives, or serves Dad right.

Dogs go with trucks.
Dogs go with convertibles.
It's ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, it just drives, or serves Dad right.

Dogs go with trucks.
Dogs go with convertibles.
It's like yin and yang.
Oreos and milk.

Dad finally has his new truck.  The last truck was recalled.  Apparently there was a severe structural rust problem underneath.  Eventually the truck may have to stop suddenly, but the cab might continue on.

Dad held off on buying his new truck since Oldest Lad is away at school and the Pennie Complex could get by without the extra car.  However, summer is approaching, and Dad's main car is approaching  a quarter million miles, so he just felt it was time.

The great Truck Home Coming was on Wednesday!  With it being winter these last several months, convertible rides have been out.  (Or in the case of Dad's convertibles, convertible tows.)  With no truck, I have been stuck riding in the mini-van.  Boring.

As soon as that Truck pulled into the driveway and the door opened, I jumped right into the Cab!
And was unceremoniously booted out.
Yep.  Dad says this is a "No Dog Truck."
No
Dog
Truck.
Is that possible?

Dad says he "can't have dog hair in this truck because he will be driving it for work."

Lame excuse if I ever heard one.

Now Dad is having a problem.  Hah. Hah!  No sympathy from me, Pennie.  The new trucks have a different head rest from the test drive model.  Dad is finding the seat uncomfortable.  Ever since his back surgery years ago, Dad must have "perfect" support.  The test drive model had perfect support.  The Dealer admits that the head rest HAS indeed been changed, to a supposedly safer model.

Dad just does not see how it is safer, if after his back starts hurting, he rips the head rest out, and flings it out the window while driving down the highway at 70 miles per hour.

Still, I could care less, for it will be a CLEAN, DOG HAIR-FREE Head Rest flying down the highway at 70 miles per hour.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Have the glaze, just need the donut.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/578016</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 10 Apr 2009 09:59:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/578016</guid>
		<description>It has not been a good week here at the Pennie Complex.  My Nannie skills have even been brought int ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It has not been a good week here at the Pennie Complex.  My Nannie skills have even been brought into question!  Yes, Mom is wondering if I should be allowed to sing and dance upon the roof tops of suburbia, as Mary Poppins, considering all that has gone on.  Really, I don't care so much about the singing and the dancing, but I would like two pairs of stiletto boots, and a frilly white apron.

Wee Lass has been wandering around the house, sneezing, and coughing, and dripping great strands of mucus from her nose and mouth.  With my ever watchful tongue, I am Nannie Pennie on the Spot; cleaning Wee Lass to within an inch of her life.  All that is needed to go with these great strands of glaze is a good, sturdy donut.  Alas, the Krispy Kreme franchise that was but 10 minutes away closed, and the closest one is now over an hour away, by highway, and of course, one must know that Mom does not like to drive on the highway.

Then Mom developed a horrid migraine.  Mulligan predicted this, of course, that post dog-sitting Mom would develop a migraine.  This despite the fact that both dogs, and the hamster survived.  She is still not completely recovered, but after reporting to the doctor's office for a shot in each arm of dog knows what, she was much improved, and was at least no longer spewing body fluids or asking for Dad to amputate her head with his circular saw.

To top off all of this; Oldest Lad played a sporting game of "Tackle Frisbee."  Mom herself carried Oldest Lad's knee brace, all 697 dollars of it, into his dorm room, on the dorm move in day, and hung it on the end of his lofted bed.  Apparently, Oldest Lad was certain that in his Tackle Frisbee game to be played with his dorm friends, he was only going to make forward, backward, and left and right movements, with no twisting, turning, or diagonals and of course, the turf outside the dorm was completely level, and he was going to manage to NOT be tackled on his right knee.  Therefore he did not need the personally fitted 697 dollar knee brace that Mumzie had so graciously hung on his lofted dormitory bed.

Alas, Oldest Lad called and was on his way to hospital having managed to re-injure his bionic knee, masterfully rebuilt just a little over one year ago, the recovery of which, I, myself, Nannie Pennie, supervised.

Oldest Lad was whisked back to school, post-hospital, with his crutches.  The crutches had not even had a chance to gather dust, and in fact, still had the padded face cloths attached to the arm pit rests.  He shall be home again today, however, and I, Nannie Pennie, fully expect this:  Dad must drive Me, Nannie Pennie, and Oldest Lad, the one hour distance to the Krispy Kreme franchise to obtain the Donuts to go with the glaze spewing from Wee Lass.  Stiletto Boots, or not, sometimes a Nannie Pennie must put her Paws down.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Canine Redistribution.  Not my fault.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/575085</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 1 Apr 2009 07:38:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/575085</guid>
		<description>Dad was NOT happy last night.  Really, the man is quite selfish.  I do blame his upbringing.  He gre ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad was NOT happy last night.  Really, the man is quite selfish.  I do blame his upbringing.  He grew up as one of but two children.  His own bedroom his entire home life.  He even had his OWN TV, in his bedroom!  (Gasp!) Mom, on the other hand, was the youngest of six.  She was just thankful to have a bed, and her own bedroom would have been unheard of.  She barely had any toys, as by the time she came along, her parents were certainly not going to buy new toys, just for her developmental sake, by dog, and the family watched ONE black and white TV until it died, in the early 80s.

While Oldest Lad is home, I spend my nights sleeping with Oldest Lad.  When Dad is NOT home, which is frequent, as he travels often for business, then Mom, Mulligan, and I fit quite comfortably in the Queen sized bed.  The three of us share bodily contact frequently during the night.

Here's the Rub.  When Dad IS home, he expects fully HALF of the Queen sized bed.  Feeling rather depressed after Oldest Lad's return to University post Spring Break, I have wanted contact with BOTH Mom and Dad during the night.  I also like to make my Pennie Nests.  This means that I like to rearrange all the blankets with my paws until I have a nice little nest for myself.

Mulligan on the Far Left.  Mom on the Mid Left.  Dad on the Right.  Dad wants ME, Pennie, to stay over on Mom's side, between Mom's legs, or below Mulligan.  No.  I want to be in the middle.

So for the last three nights I have redistributed myself back to the middle.  Then Dad has woken up to find me touching him and "Oh, my dog, the selfish man who always had his own room, own toys, and own TV, even COLOR as soon as that became available, has a DOG touching him!"  Dad redistributes ME, back over to the other side of MOM.

Last night, Dad got mad and even said this was the last straw, the family was getting a King size bed.  Of course, this just makes Mom mad, because she wanted a King size bed long ago, but settled for the Queen sized Concrete bed because that is what Dad wanted.  Mom says it is like sleeping on the sidewalk, except that the little sidewalk lines for expansion and contraction are missing.  It's just not that easy to go out and buy a King sized bed because then there is the buying of all new:  box spring cover, dust ruffle, mattress pad, sheets, blankets, and comforter.

Mom told Dad that there would have to be some sort of "Canine Redistribution Project."  Hmmph.  I'll see about that.  I think Dad can expect to be Redistributed to the Couch.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>OK, I am yours again.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/574591</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:34:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/574591</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad was home for some 10 or so days.  During that time I was at his side constantly, napping  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad was home for some 10 or so days.  During that time I was at his side constantly, napping with him, sleeping with him, even checking upon him while he was in the shower.

I ignored Mom.

Oldest Lad left and I resumed my Mom Stalking.  Not only do I stalk Mom, but I expect her to make her lap available to me, pet me when asked, and enthusiastically greet me when ever she has been gone for longer than 30 seconds.

Mom is not happy about this.  Mom says she feels used.  She is ignoring me.  She says "Forget it.  She's not just some teddy bear for me to use for comfort and then toss away when Oldest Lad is home."

Yeah.  We'll just see.  Mulligan managed to pay attention to Oldest Lad and still show his all-encompassing obsession for Mom at the same time.  However, Mulligan can be, well, he's Mulligan.  Soon enough Mo will mess up and Mom will be mine again.  I hope.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Only so much a Nannie Pennie can do.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/573059</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:53:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/573059</guid>
		<description>The Wee Lass is causing me great distress, heart burn even.  As her Nannie Pennie, I do my best, but ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Wee Lass is causing me great distress, heart burn even.  As her Nannie Pennie, I do my best, but I find my paws tied by the continual interference of Mom and Dad, and Mulligan.  Is is obvious that in this home, the pups historically view the Dog as the Role Model.  I see that as an obvious choice as the Dog is the closest to the height of the Pups, and far more intelligent than either Mom or Dad.

Oldest Lad was fortunate to spend his formative years being raised by a Wolf, the beloved wolf-hybrid Samson.  Samson's keen intelligence, rapier wit, and good looks all helped form Oldest Lad.  Samson was a bit of a "party animal," prone to drink beer and stay out all hours with the neighbors.  Oldest Lad claims to not drink alcohol, but he does have a large social circle and stays out to all hours with his friends.

Middle Lad was also fortunate to spend a few years with Samson.  Samson did his best; but even the experts roll their eyes at the upbringing of Middle Lad.  Samson was not much of a barker, and Middle Lad, who needed intense speech therapy, could not utter a word, but if asked "what does a doggy say?" would Pant very much like Samson.

Little Lad made his grand entrance soon after the arrival of Tyler.  Tyler was a gentle soul of a dog, abandoned at a boarding kennel.  He instantly became happy to just be part of the family.  He was so good natured that he did not even need to be walked with a leash, but would stroll about while Mom and Dad were out with Little Lad, greeting all with a cheerful wag.  Tyler's favorite activity was to sit in Little Lad's room at night during pre-bed story time, listening to Dr. Seuss.  Small surprise that Little Lad was an early reader.

Now there is the Wee Lass.  She has two Role Models to choose from:  Nannie Pennie, the nurturing, firm pawed dog with manners and love to share.  Or Mulligan.

Wee Lass has chosen Mulligan as her Role Model.  It's as if there are now Two Mulligans living in the home, as if one Mulligan was not terrible enough for any family!

Nothing is safe from either Mulligan or the Wee Las.  Mulligan can stand on his back legs to grab items.  Wee Lass has telescoping arms.  Mulligan opens all back packs, purses, and bags, strewing the contents hither and yon.  Wee Lass opens all back packs, purses and bags, strewing the contents hither and yon.  Mulligan jumps up and steals food off the table.  Wee Lass climbs onto the kitchen table.

I, Nannie Pennie, am at the end of my patience!  If Wee Lass were my own Pup, I would never allow this behavior, but alas, I can only put my paw in so much.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mad at Mom</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/568867</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:43:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/568867</guid>
		<description>I had a &quot;Zit&quot; on my belly.  Oh, it was so embarassing.  Mom popped it.

I have some very minor rul ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I had a "Zit" on my belly.  Oh, it was so embarassing.  Mom popped it.

I have some very minor rules.
Don't touch my paws.
Don't touch my zits.

Then Mom kept checking my Zit to see if it came back or if it was gone.  I started giving her the Evil Eye.  Then the Evil Smile.  Then the Evil Growl.

Doesn't Mom know how dangerous it is to Pop Zits?  How many teenagers die each year from popping zits?  Oh, and menopausal women, the other chief zit-getters.  The PMS zit-getters just make other people die first, and then their zits disappear until the next month.

Yes, all the dermatology web sites not to pop zits because the infection might go "internal" and cause some massive, horrendous brain infection.

Now I am mad at Mom and I won't sit on her lap, snuggle with her, or even look at her.  Since I am not the type to be enticed by food or bling, I guess Mom will have to wait until Dad does something bad to me to put herself back in my good graces.  Dad is out of town, so that will be at least a couple days.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Subtle Approach to the Wii Fit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/568206</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 Mar 2009 12:23:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/568206</guid>
		<description>Mulligan makes repeated vows to be the Kindler, Gentler, Mulligan; just as Dad makes repeated vows t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulligan makes repeated vows to be the Kindler, Gentler, Mulligan; just as Dad makes repeated vows to Mom to be the Kindler, Gentler, Husband, or a Reasonable, emphasis being on Reasonable, Facsimile, thereof.

Made from much the same mold, neither Mulligan nor Dad make it very far.

Mulligan continues in his general outrage against the Wii Fit.  He was sure, dead sure, that when Mom was flailing her arms about the basement while doing Rhythm Boxing, that Mom was actually attempting to hit Mulligan, rather than virtually hit a non-existent talking gym bag.

I, on the other hand, having taken a FEMALE"S approach.  I usually nap on the futon, offering encouraging snores.

Or, here is a great thing to do.

While Mom is trying to do a Yoga Pose, such as "The Tree," I sneak up behind her and goose her in the butt with my nose.  Then I proceed to do a more thorough, ah, cheek inspection.  All the while Mom is trying to maintain her balance within the little yellow bar delineated by the Wii Fit.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Trapped!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/567248</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 Mar 2009 07:40:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/567248</guid>
		<description>Mom took Middle Lad and Little Lad to Taekwondo class and as usual, Mulligan and I jumped into the v ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom took Middle Lad and Little Lad to Taekwondo class and as usual, Mulligan and I jumped into the van at the last moment.  After Mom dropped the Lads off she decided to stop at the Post Office.  Instead of the "Little" Post Office she usually goes to, which is faster, she went to the "Big" Post Office because it is located very close to the Taekwondo Building.

Wee Lass and Mom left the van, Mom pushing Mulligan and I into the van with great strenght of character as the van door slowly closed, while she also held Wee Lass and kept all of Wee Lass' body parts out of the way of the closing van door.  Mom does carry on about how these "new fangled" mini-vans with their automatic closing doors are indeed a drastic convenience but when a person has one or more dogs trying to make their escape from the van, the time spent auto-closing can mean the difference between the Great Escape and Safe Prison Time.

Anyhoo, Mom and Wee Lass went of into the Post Office.  I was frantic!  Of course I know the terrible dangers of the Post Office!  What if someone was going to Go Postal while Mom was inside!  What if Mom was going to Go Postal?

I jumped over the back seat of the mini-van and landed in the Trunk!  There I was Trapped!  The trunk is of course much lower than the back seat, so I could not jump back to the cabin of the van.  Plus, it's not like I just found myself standing on "trunk."  No.  The trunk of the van was taken up by Wee Lass' folded up stroller.  Everywhere I put my paw, there was a metal bar, or an unsteady stroller part.

After hours! Mom returned, opened the door of the van and found only Mulligan!  She looked around and all she could she was frantic bits of Pennie nose and ears poking out of the rear cargo compartment.

Mom attached Wee Lass to her car seat and then went around to the back of the van.  She opened the door of the trunk and rescued me.  Safe at last!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Perhaps I should Smile More Often</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/566864</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Mar 2009 20:20:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/566864</guid>
		<description>I have quite a lovely smile.  One of my canine teeth is chipped so that it is shorter than the other ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have quite a lovely smile.  One of my canine teeth is chipped so that it is shorter than the other.  I smile quite often at Mulligan, and he knows that when I smile he better back down.  Yes.  When I smile, I mean it.  Sometimes I accompany my smile with a clearing of the throat.  That means even more business.

Today Oldest Lad surprised me with a visit home!  He stopped in to pick up his repaired XBOX360.  It was shipped home and he did not think Mom would run it over to Campus.  He said she was still "Old" despite her Wii Fit age being "Younger."   That is just not something that one says to a female.  Oldest Lad doesn't think Mom will be doing him any favors for a while.

Oldest Lad found a Female Friend to transport him home.  Oh, I was just fine with this, at first.  Female Friend watched while Oldest Lad played with me in the back yard.  Female Friend even played with Wee Lass while Oldest Lad petted and rubbed me.

Then, however, Oldest Lad noticed that Female Friend's car tires looked a bit low.  He went into the garage and took out the air compressor and filled Female Friend's car tires.  That just does NOT sit well with me.  Oldest Lad is MINE.  I am sorry, but filling car tires just seems, well, it kind of goes beyond "mere friendliness."

I just may have to cast a nice large smile at Female Friend.  And maybe do some throat clearing.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mulli vs. Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/566659</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Mar 2009 08:33:08 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/566659</guid>
		<description>Mulligan is, well, he a rather self-centered boorish brute.  Of late, he has been most unhappy with  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulligan is, well, he a rather self-centered boorish brute.  Of late, he has been most unhappy with the Wii Fit.  Oh, and the Kibble.

Mom has taken to hand-feeding us our kibble ration, when she can.  It is quite a lovely time of meal-time bonding and conversation.  I wait patiently, gently doing the Paw-Step, as Mom picks out a few Kibble morsels for me.  I then gently lick them from her hand.  Mulligan eyes the food bowl as if it holds a ticking meat-bomb, which only, he, the all-powerful Mulligan, can consume.  As Mom feeds him a few Kibble Morsels he practically consumes her hand, especially if she makes the mistake of not keeping her fingers completely cupped together.  Mulligan has been known to attempt to knock the whole bowl out of Mom's grasp.  Mom's hand comes away from Mulli's lips soaked with his selfish saliva.  It drives Mulligan insane.  I, Pennie, on the other paw, view it as an intimate time with Mom.

Mullii views the Wii Fit as an evil land mine, sure to explode Mom all over the basement as soon as she takes her next step on to it.

I, Pennii, enjoy working out with Mom on the Wii Fit.  While Mom works out, I curl into a Pennii ball upon the futon.  Oh, occasionally the Wii Fit does make strange noises, at which I must go over to the Balance Board to investigate that all is well.  But overall, I murmur encouragement to Mom:  "Oh, yes, your butt looks much firmer.  You did many more steps in rhythm today.  I will love you regardless if you reach your BMI goal."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Clean inside and out.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/564193</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 24 Feb 2009 17:46:06 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/564193</guid>
		<description>I am not called Personal Hygeine Princess for nothing.  I insist on going into the bathroom with Mom ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am not called Personal Hygeine Princess for nothing.  I insist on going into the bathroom with Mom when she bathes the Wee Lass.  Mom is inept and I must supervise Mom at all times. 

Mom removes the Dove Soap from the bath tub area so that Wee Lass does not eat the Dove Soap.

I then search out and find the bar of Dove Soap and eat it.

Mom washes Wee Lass with the Dove Soap.  I lick Dove Soap bubbles off of Wee Lass.

Our family uses up a lot of Dove Soap.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mad at Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/562924</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:24:09 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/562924</guid>
		<description>I have been avoiding Dad.  Oh, it's extremely obvious.  He walks near me; I walk away.  He sits on t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been avoiding Dad.  Oh, it's extremely obvious.  He walks near me; I walk away.  He sits on the couch, I get off the couch.  He gets in the bed, I wait until Mom gets into bed and then touch ONLY Her.

Wednesday Night there was rather a "To Do."  Middle Lad was in a bit of trouble.  It had to do with a bit of Homework, or shall I say the lack thereof. 

Dad took it upon himself to express his general dis-satisfaction with Middle Lad.  I, Pennie, took this as a criticism of my general control and overseeing of the Household.  Really, there is only so much that I can do with the Pathetic Pups that Mom and Dad brought forth into this world and I do the best I can.  I must Nanny the Oldest Lad (and did he not manage to earn a scholarship??), the Middle Lad, Little Lad, and now the Wee Lass has been thrust upon me, with no increase in my wages, vacation, or other compensation.

Dad is not sure how to win back my favor.  I am a girl of Independence, so I will not be earned back with some extra "kibble" or a roll of liver sausage like Mulligan would be.  I am not a "girly dog" either who likes a lot of bling.  No, there is no point in Dad going out and buying me a ruby-laden new collar for that is not going to win me back.

Dad will just have to think of something else; I am a female dog and I just may have to stew for a good long while.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Run for your life!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/559584</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:18:52 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/559584</guid>
		<description>The National Weather Service has issued a Severe Thunderstorm Warning for MY County capable of produ ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The National Weather Service has issued a Severe Thunderstorm Warning for MY County capable of producing Pennie Size Hail!

Pennie Size Hail!

Run!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Can't a Poor Pennie get some Rest?!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/559535</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Feb 2009 11:56:24 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/559535</guid>
		<description>This morning darked windy and rainy.  The rain could be heard pelting against the bedroom windows (w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning darked windy and rainy.  The rain could be heard pelting against the bedroom windows (which need to be replaced, Dad) so hard that the whole window bay shook.  Still, the alarm went off at 6:00 for the Middle Lad must be sent off to his Tax-Payer Funded Public School.

I fulfilled my duly assigned task of going downstairs to show support for the troops.  I curled myself into as small a Pennie-Ball as I could upon the couch.  I curled my Tail about myself, up to my nose.  Unfortunately, my Tail, despite it being a Lethal Weapon, does not provide much warmth.  Yes, my tail is long and thin.  Mulligan has learned to close his eyes when I am near, and excited, for the many times he has been whacked in the face with it.  Short Little Lad is frequently heard to exclaim, "Pennie, your tail, stop hitting me with your tail!" as I beat him senseless in my excited to see him.

Anyway, there I was curled up in a Tight Pennie Ball.  I hoped to shut my hears to the wailing wind and rain.

Instead, I heard:  "Riinnng.  Uno."

I turned.  Then I heard:  "Riinng.  Adios."

I again tried to get comfortable.  "Riiinnnng.  Tres."

There was a play phone wedged between the couch cushions.  And it was speaking Spanish.  Oh, I had no problem with it speaking Spanish.  It was the whole irritation of it Speaking at all.  What must a Poor Dog do to get some rest around here?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Weather Channel?  Weather Channel?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/556876</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Feb 2009 07:54:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/556876</guid>
		<description>Jim Cantore is HOT!  Oh, I have to admit I have a thing for bald heads, after all, Oldest Lad was a  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Jim Cantore is HOT!  Oh, I have to admit I have a thing for bald heads, after all, Oldest Lad was a Swimmer and would Shave Down, and now, to save money, he does his own hair, with the trimmer he had when he was Swim Team Captain.  I never know when he comes home from University if he will have NO hair or Some hair.

Well, Jim Cantore, the Weather Channel, had it WRONG, ALL WRONG.  Even as the Pennie Home was being blanketed with it's SEVENTH INCH of snow the Weather Channel still said:  "1 to 3 inches."

This on top of the snow, ice, snow, ice, snow, mix that already lay upon the ground.

The Lads are (again!) home from school.  This is what I, and Mulligan, do not understand:  The schools are well beyond their allotted number of "emergency days."  This due to Hurrican Ike in September and Last Week.  This New Snow Storm started BEFORE School Ended.

Mulligan and I ask this:  Why didn't the schools simply keep the students?  Yes!  The Perfect Solution.  Keep the students.  A Win-Win all-around.

Classes today would not be missed.
Yesterday afternoon and evening, classes would make up TWO days.  

Yes, that would be the perfect solution, plus, Mulligan and I would not be faced yet again with the onslaught of a house full of school childen eating our food, disturbing our nap schedules, and taking away our time with Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Good thing we live in Backward Ohio, not California</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/556499</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 3 Feb 2009 09:11:14 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/556499</guid>
		<description>It's a good thing we live in Backward Ohio, not California.  Mom has decided there shall be no more  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's a good thing we live in Backward Ohio, not California.  Mom has decided there shall be no more Free Range Toddler.  Mulligan and I do agree that the Free Range Toddler was rather vexsome.  Dad had set up a gate to the stairs, giving the Wee Lass Free Range to the whole lower level, except the Utility Room.  By Progressive California Law, this would be deemed best for the Optimal Toddler Growing Conditions.  In Ohio, apparently it is still allowable to "Gate-In" Toddlers and not face severe penalties.

This went on for about One Month.  Oh, Mom tried her best to be Compliant.  She spent most of her day removing Kumon Homework, pencils, Christmas Ornaments (although they were all 5 feet up and no one knows how the Wee Lass retrieved them,) music books and other asundry objects from the Wee Lass.  Finally the Snow and Ice Storm Hit, with the Lad being home from school for 4 days straight, and Mom said "No More Free Range Toddler."

Mom retrieved the rest of the gates from the basement and installed them.  Of course, this created a new problem, as now the Lads could not move about the house without having to take a gate down, at which point the Wee Lass would immediately make a break for it.

As soon as there was a break in the Ice, Mom went to the store and purchased a Gated Gate.

Mulligan and I, alas, are not so fond of this even more "Gated Community."  First off, Mom gates us off when the Wee Lass eats!  Yes, the Wee Lass is no longer allowed to feed us while she feeds herself.  We must wait until the Wee Lass is finished and then head in to Clean Up.

Secondly, I am forever finding myself on the Wrong Side of the Gate.  I do admit that by brute force I have pulled the gate down a time or two.  But what is wrong with a Free Range Pennie?  I have never once eaten Kumon Homework.  I don't eat Piano Music.  Oh, I may have chewed a few pencils, and yes, Mulligan did eat a few hundred dollars worth of Nintendo DS games, but really, must the DOGS suffer?

Mom does her best to remember me, especially, to keep me with her, and keep me safe from the Wee Lass.  Still, I find that it is always the dogs that suffer.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I need a Tiffany or Talbot's Mom!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/554002</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:10:04 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/554002</guid>
		<description>Last night I went to the SPA!

Mom has NEVER been to a Spa.  Nope.  She wears rather generic cloth ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I went to the SPA!

Mom has NEVER been to a Spa.  Nope.  She wears rather generic clothes, likes to keep her hair permed so she can just "put some gel in and go" and can't wear make-up due to skin allergies and fragrances due to migraines.  Then there is the matter of living with the Three Lads all these years.  Already Mom says Wee Lass is NOT going to wear Tights because Mom can still remember as a girl being forced to wear itchy tights to school or church and then the crotch would always slide down her thighs as well.

OK.  I am fighting a losing battle.  

Last night, I went to the Back Yard Spa.  Oh, it was Heavenly!  I rolled in the most glorious fecal matter of unknown origin!  Deer, dog, who knows what, it was obviously a Designer Fecal Fragrance.  I had fecal matter all over both sides of my neck and all down my back.

I looked and smelled Wonderful!

Mom let me in the house and immediately her keen nasal cells went into over-drive!  She said I STUNK!  She forced me back outside.  There I was, looking and smelling all Lovely from my Spa treatment, looking piteously into the House from the back porch patio doors.  Dad had a meeting so Mom could not bathe me until later.  Dad at least insisted that in the cold I must at least be let into the garage; but I fooled him.  He did not latch the door properly and I shoved it open and got into the Utility Room.

Once Dad was home, Mom took me upstairs, put me in the shower and scrubbed all the lovely Designer Fecal Fragrance off of me, like I was a common "ho" or something.

I need a Designer Mom, a Mom who understands that a Girl needs a Spa Treatment now and again, not just a clean face and clean hair.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Offended.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/553486</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 26 Jan 2009 11:03:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/553486</guid>
		<description>Well, more hand-me-downs arrived today for the Wee Lass.  Oh, and Mom is quite happy to receive them ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, more hand-me-downs arrived today for the Wee Lass.  Oh, and Mom is quite happy to receive them.  Yes, she LOVES dressy the Wee Lass in Used Clothing.  The Lads wear Used Clothing, too.  Clothing gets passed down from Oldest Lad down to Little Lad.  For dress clothes, especially, Mom just goes to the closet and pulls out the next size shirt and pants, new for Oldest Lad, but now ready for Middle Lad, since the School District has the standard "Black Pants, White Shirt, Black Tie, Black Shoes," Band Concert Attire.  Even Wee Lass has already worn some items from the Lads.  And before Wee Lass came,  Mom sent Used Items from Little Lad over to someone else.

Well, what about my Used Clothing?  I have perfectly good Used Dog Hair, Clean Hair, for I am a Personal Hygeine Perfectionist, which I leave laying out for Mom to collect.  Even Mulli, who also pays close attention to his personal hygeine, leaves his Used Clothing laying about for Mom to collect.

Mom just throws our used clothing in the trash.  She doesn't even offer it to the neighbors or to Good Will.  For Dog's sake, with her crocheting obsession, one would think she could at least turn it into yarn.  Yes, I am Offended.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Can't use that old excuse . . .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/553424</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:58:19 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/553424</guid>
		<description>Well, Middle Lad will not be able to use the Time Worn Excuse, &quot;The Dog Ate My Home Work.

Nope.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, Middle Lad will not be able to use the Time Worn Excuse, "The Dog Ate My Home Work.

Nope.  Cause Wee Lass Ate His Home Work.

Yep.  Middle Lad left some of his Kumon Home Work pages too close to the edge of the desk; Mom had her back turned and next thing is Mom is retrieving a Kumon Math Page from the Mouth of Wee Lass.

I expect some sort of reward, or sumpin, just for not EVER eating any Home Work.  Well, maybe I have STEPPED on a few projects. But never eaten any.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Lotion Love</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/552327</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Jan 2009 06:40:30 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/552327</guid>
		<description>Mulligan and I have developed a Love of Lubricants.  In this season of both Dry Skin and Diaper Chan ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mulligan and I have developed a Love of Lubricants.  In this season of both Dry Skin and Diaper Changes; Mom is keeping a supply of Aquaphor and A&D Ointment.

Mulligan loves the Aquaphor.  As soon as he gets hold of a tube, he eats it.  Mom yells at him:  "For Dog's sake, Mulli, do you have any idea how much Aquaphor costs, regardless that it is the only that helps my poor bleeding hands!"  Mom tries to keep the Aquaphor out of Mulli's reach, but she needs to keep it handy so she can keep slathering it on her poor, dry, bleeding hands.

I, Pennie, am obsessed with A&D Ointment.  I discovered the secret ingredient that makes this so special:  Cod Liver Oil.  Really.  Yup.  And that apparently is what gives it that special smell I find irresistible.  After Mom bathes the Wee Lass she slathers a big glob on the Wee Lass Bottom.  Mom has to hurry as fast as she can to close up the diaper before I can get my tongue and nose in there to lick the ointment off.  Mom wipes her hands on the bath towel while she finishes dressing Wee Lass, and that is when I go to town.  I spend the next ten minutes, at least, licking those A&D Ointment Remnants out of that bath towel.

This whole A&D thing does strike me as rather odd though.  Why DO humans apply Cod Liver Oil to their babie's Arses?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Diaper Delight Discussion</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/549551</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 15 Jan 2009 08:19:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/549551</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Pennie, I realize that you are anxious to get to the Diaper Delights.  However, could you at  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Pennie, I realize that you are anxious to get to the Diaper Delights.  However, could you at least refrain until I have the diaper removed from Wee Lass.  And the point of me putting A & D Ointment on her Personal Privates to prevent diaper rash is not for you to run over and try to lick it off before I have a chance to do up the diaper.  Really, Pennie, I am all for Personal Hygeine, but that goes a little far."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sad Cuz</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/546637</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 6 Jan 2009 12:39:04 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/546637</guid>
		<description>My Mom washed my Cuz.

It's just not the same any more.

Now, admittedly, it at least no longer  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Mom washed my Cuz.

It's just not the same any more.

Now, admittedly, it at least no longer has those yucky toddler germs all over it.

But a Cuz ages, like a fine wine.  My Cuz had aged.  It had been in the back yard.  I had chewed it with poop breath.  I had chewed it after eating kibble.

And now it is all clean.  It just isn't the same.  I guess it doesn't matter now if the Wee Lass chews on it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Bleech!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/546234</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Jan 2009 10:35:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/546234</guid>
		<description>The Wee Lass was   chewing   on    my     Cuz!

Bleech!

Toddler Germs.

Oh the Horror!

Get ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Wee Lass was   chewing   on    my     Cuz!

Bleech!

Toddler Germs.

Oh the Horror!

Get out the Lysol.

The Peroxide.

The Chlorox.

Send in the HazMat Crew.

Or maybe just buy me a new one.  This one is all Yucky Now.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nannie Pennie, first of many columns</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/541840</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 24 Dec 2008 12:36:44 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/541840</guid>
		<description>Mom has birthed three lads of her own.  Despite her obvious inadequacies as a parent (shall we count ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has birthed three lads of her own.  Despite her obvious inadequacies as a parent (shall we count broken arms, stitches, food allergies, torn ACLs, broken elbow, broken leg, need I list more?), the Inept United States Social Services allowed her to Adopt another child.

Thank Dog I, Nannie Pennie, am here to attempt to save this poor child from Mom.

This is how a Dog bathes a Pup.  With a warm, moist tongue, thoroughly go over the pup with long strokes until the job is completed.  No fuss.  Since the tongue is already pre-warmed, no chill.

This is how Mom bathes a Pup.  Imerse the poor Wee Lass in a bath of warm water.  Lather her with Dove soap.  Apply Baby Shampoo to her hair.  Rinse her with large quantities of water.  All this of course done in a large bathroom (OK, admittedly small bathroom, the house was built late 1960s, before large bathrooms were in fashion,) where the air cannot possibly be warmed enough to keep the chill off the Wee Lass.  Pat the Wee Lass dry with a room temperature towel.

Of course, the Wee Lass was turning blue from the cold.

I, Nannie Pennie, had to step in.  I heard Mom bathing Wee Lass and I DEMANDED Entry into the bathroom.  I supervised the whole operation.  As soon as Wee Lass was removed from the water, I began to lick her, rapidly restoring circulation to her cold appendages, and drying her at the same time, by applying my soothing warm moistened tongue to her body parts.

Much Better.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Status Report</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/540415</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 20 Dec 2008 21:14:08 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/540415</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, am not a Happy Dog.  I missed Mom and Dad terribly in their absence.  Upon their return I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, am not a Happy Dog.  I missed Mom and Dad terribly in their absence.  Upon their return I discovered, that without even asking, I was expected to take upon a new job.  Now I am certainly not a Dog to complain about the work load.  I keep the yard clear of all Rodents.  I keep the nasal passages and sinuses of all the humans clean whenever I have a chance to grasp their pathetic noses with my snake-like tongue.  I inspect all the humans for cleanliness.  I keep the house in order.  Oh, the list goes on, as Mom has proven quite inadequate as a Mother and unlike Pups, who are far superior to humans, and capable at only 6 weeks; Human Children expect to live with their parents for 18 or (gasp) more years.

My new job, upon Mom and Dad's return is:  Nanny Pennie.  Oh, it's fine for Nana in "Peter Pan," if she wishes to care for those 3 heathenous youths; but I already had a full job description.  Now I must add another squalling brat to my list of duties?  And it was simply assumed that I, Pennie, would just rise to the occasion and graciously accept my addition duties as Nanny Pennie.  Mulligan actually appears to be adjusting better than I, as unfathomable as that is.  I do admit that Gerber Peaches mixed with Rice Cereal are quite tasty, even if the mixture does look like vomit; but the rewards of Diaper Delights are just not enough remuneration for me at this time.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Perturbed, at first</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/537601</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:26:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/537601</guid>
		<description>Unlike Mulligan, I have not been so distressed at the prospect of the Toddler Invasion.  I assume th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Unlike Mulligan, I have not been so distressed at the prospect of the Toddler Invasion.  I assume that Mom will be as Inadequate at Rearing this Child as she is at Rearing the Lads, and I will have to assume Maternal Control of the Child.  Female Dogs are readily equipped to do this;  instinctually a female dog can care for as many offspring as are thrust upon her, related or not.

I was given pause, however when Mom began to clean the floors.  Yes, clean the floors.  First, she was only going to thoroughly vacuum, then she mopped.  She grumbled something about how Toddlers were the best Floor Cleaners around. 

Excuse Me?  Uh, the Floor is the Dog's Domain.  Whatever lands on the floor is Mine, or Mulligan's if he beats me to it.  I may be Instinctually Maternal but the Floor is Mine.

Imagine my relief when I realized Mom meant that toddlers are LITERALLY Floor Cleaners.  As in, Mom needed to mop because Toddlers roam around, even if they are already walking, and clean the floor with their legs and bottoms and arms and other body parts.  Mom didn't want the new clothes she had purchased to turn gray the first day.  Oh,  I do know that the Toddler would as soon put a crusty leftover bit into her mouth as I would; but lets see her beat me to it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Wow!  Mulligan and I really do put out a lot!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/536232</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 8 Dec 2008 12:10:26 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/536232</guid>
		<description>I am a dog of my own means.  One of superb qualities is my great means to entertain myself.  I don't ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am a dog of my own means.  One of superb qualities is my great means to entertain myself.  I don't need a Wii, or TiVo, or some fancy Toy.  My favorite way to entertain myself is when some family member leaves the garage door open and I go and Investigate.  Mom is certain that one day she is going to find that fourth car we own, the convertible that does not run, moved out into the yard one day.  She is going to think that Dad has finally gotten it running, but really, I will have just accomplished my goal of dragging it out of the garage.

Anyhoo, today Mom was picking up the yard, when she saw a HUGE MASS of Dog knows what spread out all over the very back of the yard.  At first she thought that perhaps it was some kind of construction debris that had been tossed over from the expensive neighborhood being built behind us.  Upon closer inspection she was worried that it was some kind of dead animal.

Finally Mom got really close.  It was the Vacuum Cleaner Bag.  I pulled it out of the garage after Mom changed it and entertained myself by playing with it.   I have to say, Mulligan and I put out an Impressive Amount of Hair!  A Vacuum Cleaner Bag, Z Type, stuffed full, can really hold a lot!  There's really no need for those Bald Chinese Dogs to go around freezing.  All they need is to have me send them one of my Z Bags full of Dog Hair and Woosh, the'll look like something out of the 1980s!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I don't work for food.  Well, unless . . .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/535141</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 5 Dec 2008 06:09:25 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/535141</guid>
		<description>I don't work for food.  Mom has taken to filling &quot;toys&quot; with Mulligan's kibble rations and then lett ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I don't work for food.  Mom has taken to filling "toys" with Mulligan's kibble rations and then letting him work to get his kibble.  The first time that Mom filled a toy with kibble for me I sniffed it for a few moments and then turned away in distain.  It was clear that I was going to go hungry rather than play with some stupid toy to get little Iams Kibble pellets to fall out.  I can find my own food, thank you.  There are still plenty of moles, mice and chipmunks in the back yard that have not been able to find buyers for their homes and are therefore forced to still live in My Domain under the constant threat of being Eaten.  By Me.

Mulligan makes an utter fool of himself getting the kibble out of his toys.  His giant tongue makes disgusting slurping noises while his over-sized lips make farting sounds.  All the while he emits groans of frustration and moans of pleasure as he works out those bits of Kibble.

I will have no part of it.

Oh, but Mom awoke this morning and truly she is a cursed woman.  She forced Mulligan and I to stand next to her as she mixed Kraft Easy Cheese from it's squirt can into a pile of Kibble.  Even I, Pennie, am unable to withstand the allure of Kraft Easy Cheese, Cheddar Flavor.  She then apportioned that Kibble/Easy Cheese Mass into two toys.  

Mulligan was put into the small bathroom, with the door closed.  It was obscene the noises that immediately began to be emitted from that chamber.

I was given a Kibble Toy as well.  At first I just licked the outside which Mom had cleverly coated with a bit of Easy Cheese.  Soon I just could not stand it.  I had to succumb.  My long tongue worked that toy like a fine tuned instument to get that Easy Cheese/Kibble mix.  I am defeated.  It is seldom that I admit defeat to Mom, but leave it to Kraft to lead me along this path to destruction.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nasal Obsession getting me in trouble, again</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/534557</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 3 Dec 2008 07:09:39 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/534557</guid>
		<description>I just can't help it, I, Pennie, am addicted to Noses.  My most recent victim was a Care Bear.  Litt ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just can't help it, I, Pennie, am addicted to Noses.  My most recent victim was a Care Bear.  Little Lad is in great fits of woe and tragedy and loss.  He found his poor Care Bear nose-less.  And mouth-less, to boot.  Care Bears are perpetually Happy, Giving Creatures.  Does this mean that when I pass on I won't qualify for the Rainbow Bridge, but will instead have to take the Cobbled Path down to where the Bad Dogs go?

Needless to say, I did not make it onto Little Lad's List of Thankful Thoughts that he collected for Second Grade.  Yes, I am noticably absent.

Doctors
Mom
friends
Middle Lad (I suppose Middle Lad made the list because Little Lad is an argumentive, vexsome, sort and his chief Foe is Middle Lad.)
Markers
Crayons
Books
Video Games
Games

I suppose I should not feel too bad because DAD did not make The List either.  Or Oldest Lad.  Or Mulligan.  I wonder how Crayons and Markers can rank ahead of Dad in Little Lad's eyes; although they are very useful tools.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Christmas Gift Alert!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/532225</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:35:27 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/532225</guid>
		<description>I have just learned that there is a Sleep Number Bed just for Dogs!  Yes, indeed, although I myself  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have just learned that there is a Sleep Number Bed just for Dogs!  Yes, indeed, although I myself do not want a Sleep Number Bed, because I prefer to sleep in bed with either Mom or in bed with Oldest Lad.

However, I am sure there are plenty of Dogs out there who do not currently bed-share with their family members who would love to ask Santa Paws for a Sleep Number Bed.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Deal with Dad.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/530413</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:44:03 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/530413</guid>
		<description>I am in Collusion with Dad.
Dad has a rule about Dogs in Bed.  The Dogs must not be touching him.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am in Collusion with Dad.
Dad has a rule about Dogs in Bed.  The Dogs must not be touching him.  Dad still clings to the futile idea that he owns Half the bed and Mom owns Half the bed.  That means in reality that Dad gets Half the bed and Mom shares her Half with Mulligan and Me.

My preferred sleeping position is to make a "Pennie Nest."  I make little Pennie Nests all over the house.  In a pile of Little Lad's Stuffed Animals.  On a pile of dirty laundry.  On a freshly folded stack of clean laundry.  On a blanket.

My favorite Pennie Nest, however, is to sleep between the legs of a person, with my head resting upon either their arse or their thigh.  Mom and Oldest Lad both sleep on their stomachs, therefore, they are my favorite sleeping partners.  Oldest Lad does express a little concern that he may irritate me in some way and well, with my head on his arse, well, he just tries to remain on my good side.

Of late, with Oldest Lad off at the Dorm Kennel, I have been sleeping with Mom.  I have come up with an ingenious plan to sleep in bed and to curry favor with Dad.  Dad likes to sleep as close to Mom as possible.  Mom is more the type to snuggle for a bit and then head off to her own side of the bed, citing Dad's snoring.  Dad claims he doesn't snore but Seismic Activity has been noted in our part of the Ohio Valley, particularly at night.

What I, Pennie, have been doing, is sleeping in the middle of the bed.  Since Dad allows NO part of any dog to be touching him; then Mom must sleep in the middle of the bed, with ME, in my Pennie Nest, between her legs.  Dad then has Mom snuggled up next to him all night long.  Mulligan sleeps on the other side of Mom, further pushing Mom into Dad.  Everybody is happy.  Except of course Mom, but I believe it is a rule that Mothers are supposed to sacrifice their sleep for the good of the family.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Flash Cards Dog Style</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/529091</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:16:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/529091</guid>
		<description>Mom was reviewing Flash Cards with Little Lad for his musical notes.  Little Lad is learning to play ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom was reviewing Flash Cards with Little Lad for his musical notes.  Little Lad is learning to play the piano.

"A"
"C"
"F"
"G"
"C"
"Dog Tail"
"D"
"A"
"G"
"Dog Body"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/528891</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Nov 2008 10:56:57 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/528891</guid>
		<description>On Sunday the kitchen refrigerator died.  Mom hurriedly transported all of the salvageable contents  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On Sunday the kitchen refrigerator died.  Mom hurriedly transported all of the salvageable contents to the basement refrigerator.  I offered to help, as did Mulligan, but no, Mom preferred to lug all the stuff by herself, instead of letting Mulligan and I help her carry any of the food.  Middle Lad was supposed to be helping her but he kept getting distracted by shiny objects.

Then Dad had to fix dinner; always a traumatic experience.  Mom had a migraine and was waiting for the Imitrex to kick in.  Again, Mulligan and I offered to help Dad in anyway; form hamburger patties, hold a plate for him or spread margarine for garlic bread but our offers were unwelcome.

Around 8:43 pm, the power went off!  By then Dad was gone.  He was headed out of town for work.  Panic set in!  Ever since Hurrican Ike blew through Cincinnati and the Pennie/Mulligan Compound lost power for a week, even the slightest power outage causes anxiety.  The house became black and silent.  Mulligan and I jumped up onto the couch with Mom.  Middle Lad and Little Lad both said they were going to be the one to sit by Mom on the couch.  That was simply not going to be the case.  No, it was MY job to keep Mom warm and safe.  Mulligan suggested that perhaps we should eat Middle Lad.  It would entertain us and allow us to keep the refrigerator door shut longer, preserving our precious food rations.  Little Lad was quickly Voted Off the Couch because he was too wiggly.  Mom nixed the idea of eating either of the Lads.  She claimed that for Dog's sake the power had only been off for 9 minutes and why was everyone in a panic already.  

At 9:17 the power finally returned.  Mom is wondering if the family needs counseling after Hurricane Ike.  The power was only off for 34 minutes and Mulligan was ready to eat one of the Lads and the Lads were ready to go out and start a Riot and Burn Down Surburbia.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Desk Supplies</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/527054</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:51:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/527054</guid>
		<description>Pennie:  &quot;Mumzie, if we get a new sister, does that mean that Oldest Lad and Middle Lad have to stop ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Pennie:  "Mumzie, if we get a new sister, does that mean that Oldest Lad and Middle Lad have to stop storing their Jock Straps and Cups on top of their desks?"

Mom:  "Penni, we can only hope so."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Natural Snacks</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/526097</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:56:09 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/526097</guid>
		<description>Scene:  The Pennie/Mulligan Compound.  Mom is bagging poop.

Mom:  &quot;Ack!  Pennie!  What are you do ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Scene:  The Pennie/Mulligan Compound.  Mom is bagging poop.

Mom:  "Ack!  Pennie!  What are you doing!  That's disgusting!"

Pennie:  "But Mom, Natural snacks are all the rage now a-days!  Besides, one less for you to bag."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Presidential Puppy Pledge</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/524479</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 6 Nov 2008 14:06:03 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/524479</guid>
		<description>Well, whatever way a dog's vote was cast, the Electoral College over-ruled and decided that Barack O ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, whatever way a dog's vote was cast, the Electoral College over-ruled and decided that Barack Obama would be the President.  The Founding Fathers did not trust the Average American Citizen, nay even "Joe the Plumber," to elect the president and really it is the Electoral College. 

There is a long history of Electoral College Voted-In Presidents who have had pets in the Whitehouse.  Certainly there is no Constitutional Ban on it that a duly Electorally Elected President must try to Circumvent.  However, I, Pennie, the Personal Hygeine Princess, am also Pennie the Pragmatist.  Who owns the furnishings and adornments of the Whitehouse?  Is it not the American Tax Payer?  Are not many of those adornment priceless antiques, rich with history and even gifts from far-flung nations?  I am quite certain that Mrs. Obama will ensure that the Children Obama will not disturb these objects.  Only Crayola Washable Markers will be allowed in the Whitehouse.  It is unlikely that either of the Children Obama will chew on a priceless antique.

What about a Presidential Pup, however?  How many of us very own Dogster Dogs can admit to consuming a couch?  And it probably was not one that belonged to the Truman Administration.  Chewed a leg or two off of a chair?  Probably not one that was a gift from a Foreign Dignitary.  Be-Soiled an entire Oriental Rug after eating an entire bag of Hershey's Kisses?  Probably not a REAL Oriental Rug.

Pawsonally, I just would not want to be a Presidential Pup.  And certainly not the Parent of the Presidential Pup when that Pup does what all Pups do.  Turn Bad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Protecting my Pup!  Not my fault!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/521358</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:09:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/521358</guid>
		<description>Dad took me and Mulligan on a walk tonight to deliver the RSVP to the neighborhood Halloween festivi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad took me and Mulligan on a walk tonight to deliver the RSVP to the neighborhood Halloween festivities.  Little Lad went along.  Little Lad is 47 inches tall and weighs about 48 pounds, after a large meal.  Dad decided to let Little Lad be in charge of MY Leash.

OK, can we have a collective:  "And what were you thinking, Dad?"

Dad was walking along with Mulligan.  Little Lad was walking along with me.  A stranger approached with another Dog and walked right up to us!

Yep, I went into Pennie Attack Mode!  Little Lad got scared and immediately dropped the leash.  Dad got into the middle of the fray.  Mulligan, for once, behaved like a perfect gentleman.

The stranger swore unprintable words at Dad and the strange Dog barked unprintable words at me.  Dad returned me home.  His hands were all scratched up from separating dogs.  He locked me in the bathroom.

Mom is all upset, of course.  How could this happen?  Well, of course, I was protecting my Pup, Little Lad.  Eventually I was let out and there was blood on the bathroom floor.  I have a bit of a torn ear as a battle scar.  Mom says it's not enough to warrant a vet trip.  Dad has sworn off letting Little Lad hold the leash.  Mom doesn't have to swear that off because she doesn't let anyone under the age of 18 hold the leash of me or Mulligan.  She is thinking about changing that to her age, since Dad is one year younger.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Never Surrender.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/521218</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Oct 2008 11:36:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/521218</guid>
		<description>Mom has had a terrible cold for the last week.  She has been cough, cough, coughing, the whole night ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has had a terrible cold for the last week.  She has been cough, cough, coughing, the whole night through.  As Dad was out of town the first few nights of her illness, upon his return the bed linens were already covered in her germs.  He then was forced to take the couch.  Mulligan and I were resolute in our steadfast support of Mom in her time of need.  Despite her noise and insomnia, we lay close to her, helping her lungs with our body warmth and body healing vapors.  Meanwhile Dad had the couch, the remote, the recorded DVR shows and QUIET!

Now Dad has requested that Mom wash the linens because he has "grown tired of the couch."  Little does he know that Mom's Cough has not grown tired of HER.  Regardless, Mom is washing the linens.  She is quite sure that some 20 minutes or so after bedtime SHE will be banished to the couch, along with her cough.  Mulligan and I will still support her, in much less comfort and roominess.

After our utter devotion to Mom in these night time hours of need why is it that we, the Dogs, must be forced to suffer, after all we have endured, while Dad has lain in comfort and quiet downstairs?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What?!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/520819</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 28 Oct 2008 07:31:06 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/520819</guid>
		<description>I am apparently going to have a bath.  Mulligan too.  Today is trash pick up day.  Dad brought the e ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am apparently going to have a bath.  Mulligan too.  Today is trash pick up day.  Dad brought the empty trash cans back up to the house post trash-pick up.  It is quite windy.  One of the cans fell down.

When Mom looked outside, with the intent to let me back inside, she saw my hind quarters sticking out of a trash can.  Yep, that was me, all the way inside a trash can.  Mom didn't see Mulligan inside the trash can, but just to be safe she thinks he needs a bath too.  To make US suffer Mom would like to bathe us outside.  However that would also make HER suffer.  So at least it will be nice warm baths.

Post Bath:
Pennie:  "You know Mom, it's not like I was in the garbage.  I was just in the garbage can.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Not responsible for dreams.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/519970</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 25 Oct 2008 17:31:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/519970</guid>
		<description>My Mom has recurring dreams that her legs do not work.  This has all been happening very recently.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Mom has recurring dreams that her legs do not work.  This has all been happening very recently.  In her most recent dream, she was back in college days, driving home from school with her Mom in the passenger seat.  Her Mother was in the usual position that she assumed whenever Mom drove.  Mom was not quite sure if this was due to the fact that a. Mom was the fifth teenage driver to learn in the family and her Mother had finally just naturally learned to ride in that position OR b.  Mom's Mother was purposely trying to create a completely neurotic driver out of Mom.

The position that Mom's Mother always took, as did Mom's Dad, when riding as the passenger while Mom drove was this:  Right leg firmly on the imaginary extra brake on the passenger floor board.  Left arm outstretched and braced firmly on the dash board.  Right arm gripping the passenger door; as if ready to "eject!" at any moment if the need should arise.  Needless to say, Mom has never embraced driving as a pleasureable task in life despite Mom's excellent driving record. (Although Mom does have a propencity to hit the corner of the garage door opening.  It is a difficult maneuver to get the van into the garage considering the shape of the driveway and the van bumper and the garage opening both bear battle scars.)

Anyhoo, in this dream, Mom was driving in the Left Lane and attempting to drive close to 55 miles per hour.  Not AT 55 miles an hour as her parents read the posted signs literally and Speed Limit meant LIMIT.  Unfortunately, Mom's right leg became suddenly paralyzed.  She was rapidly driving slower and slower.  She began to sweat.  Then there was a sudden traffic crisis and all traffic was forced to merge to the right.  Mom could not merge to the right.  Her right leg just would not work.  All the while her Mother was gripping the dash board, the passenger door, and braking ferociously.

Mom awoke in a cold sweat.  I was jarred awake as well.  That's when Mom realized that I, Pennie, was sleeping full body weight upon her Right Leg.  That was the source of the paralysis.  The rest of the neurosis; well I can't be held responsible for that.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Amusing myself</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/518548</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 21 Oct 2008 06:54:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/518548</guid>
		<description>I like to amuse myself.  This morning someone left the garage door open.  I found a large zip lock b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I like to amuse myself.  This morning someone left the garage door open.  I found a large zip lock bag full of deflated water balloons.  Now the driveway looks beautiful!  It is covered in hundreds, make that thousands of little brightly colored latex pieces!  Mom saw what I did and just closed the door.  She decided to take a shower before she went out and saw what else I may have amused myself with.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Technology just doesn't work that well</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/516120</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:19:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/516120</guid>
		<description>Today Mom was at Little Lad's school volunteering as Copy Mom.  What I don't understand is why could ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today Mom was at Little Lad's school volunteering as Copy Mom.  What I don't understand is why couldn't she have come home as a better Copy of a Mom?  That school is full of Moms to copy and an awesome copy machine; yet it was the same Mom that came home.

Co-incidentally, we have two, yes, two fax machines attached to printer/copiers in the house.  So why can't Dad, who sells technology for a living, do what Mom asks and create a Reasonable Fascimile, emphasis on Reasonable, of himself?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Well, it could have bean a whole lot worse</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/514955</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 11 Oct 2008 12:45:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/514955</guid>
		<description>Yes, it could have bean a whole lot worse.
Mom says she has about had it with the lot of us:  dogs, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yes, it could have bean a whole lot worse.
Mom says she has about had it with the lot of us:  dogs, lads and husband.  Dad forgot Middle Lad's medications (oh Epi-Pen, Schmepi-Pen, bring on the peanuts) and had to schlep out to the Boy Scout Camp with the bag of meds.  Dad added to the list; apparently ALL the Dads had done a lot of forgetting.  Mom said something about not being anybody's Sherpa when it came to "oh, and could you also grab us a bag of ice on the way out," in addition to the rest of the added items and the phone call was hastily shortened.

Mom has had it with Middle Lad due to Homework.  Piano.  Saxophone.  Kumon.  And he is now only eating Pop Tarts (Kellogg's Frosted Strawberry) and Pizza.

When Mom returned from Boy Scout errand running (she forgot the ice, snicker,) she discovered that Mulligan and I had been enjoying ourself while she was gone.

The bottom drawer of Little Lad's desk was barely, barely open.  We managed to open it the rest of the way.  Inside was a large plastic bag full of Bean Bags!  Mulligan loves plastic bags.  He finds it irresistible to tear apart a plastic bag in the hopes of finding some luscious edible morsel.  Unfortunately, all he found was a big zip lock bag full of bean bags that Mom had made.

Still it could have Bean a lot worse.  No, Mulligan and I did not destroy the bags and spread all the beans all over the house.  We just chewed the corners off all of the bags.  The dried beans inside were tasteless and boring.  So, yes, the bags are now useless, and Mom will have to make new ones, but she doesn't have to clean up thousands of dried beans does she?  We are so thoughtful.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The back yard does not lie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/512724</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 5 Oct 2008 09:56:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/512724</guid>
		<description>Mom says that she should know shortly which dog took the only partially used can of solid Crisco Sho ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom says that she should know shortly which dog took the only partially used can of solid Crisco Shortening off the counter and then consumed the entire contents.  She really is not sure why any dog would want to eat any entire can of solid Crisco.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>MY solution to the Economic Crisis</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511991</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Oct 2008 03:23:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511991</guid>
		<description>I, Pennie, have formulated my OWN solution to the current Toxic Debt Crisis facing America.

Per C ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I, Pennie, have formulated my OWN solution to the current Toxic Debt Crisis facing America.

Per Custom, it shall have to be us Dogs who pull the humans out of this mess.  We shall find the Home Addresses of the guilty parties.  This should be easy using the internet, invented by Al Gore,  and the county Property Search that allows one to look up Property Tax payments and assessments.  Oldest Lad learned all about this in Social Studies at Tax-Payer funded Public School.  

Armed with the Home Address, found through Property Tax Search, teams of dogs shall be sent to the homes of the guilty Toxic Loan, Toxic Debt Individuals.  We shall knock on the door.  We shall politely ask them to make a large donation to the 700 billion dollar bailout fund.  These Toxic Individuals may need a bit of cajoling, but I am sure that a sufficient number of Gleaming Dog Teeth in a Bright Smile shall do the trick.  A few dogs shall follow the Toxic Individual up to their various bedrooms to get the cash from under their mattresses. Of course these Toxic Individuals will have been smart enough to pull THEIR money out of the stock markets and banks and safely stored the cash under their mattresses.

I am quite certain a very large voluntary cash donation from these  Toxic Individuals can be raised that can be turned over to Congress and the Senate to use in the Bailout.  Who knows, some of these Toxic Individuals may also throw us some Raw Meat, along with the Cash, to get us out of their yards.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Scare Pennies</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511764</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 2 Oct 2008 09:25:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511764</guid>
		<description>I don't like Scare Crows.  They are way too creepy.  And it's not like we have any more corn fields  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I don't like Scare Crows.  They are way too creepy.  And it's not like we have any more corn fields needing protecting out here in Suburbia.  Hopefully the Crows would be smart enough not to eat any of the Grass Seed as most of the houses around here use Lawn Services so the Grass Seed is all poisoned.  Probably created some sort of Uber Crow that will rise up some day and take over all of Suburbia just like in "The Birds."

Still, there is something just not right about this Super Smiley Scare Pennie, I mean Scare Crow sitting out in front of a Suburban House.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sense of Wonder</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511739</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 2 Oct 2008 07:47:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511739</guid>
		<description>I know that Mom sometimes gets frustrated with me and Mulligan.  Sometimes Mom gets upset about the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I know that Mom sometimes gets frustrated with me and Mulligan.  Sometimes Mom gets upset about the house being a mess.  Yesterday when Mom came home from chaperoning Middle Lad's Field Trip she was a little upset that  a 2 pound box of Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers had been consumed and the box shredded all over the living room.

Yet, in my defense, I feel that I bring a Sense of Wonder into Mom's Life.  Before I arrived, Mom used to wonder about Trivial Matters:  Politics.  Education.  War.

Now, Mom has an ever-changing array of Wonder and Newness in her Life.

Why is the butter dish in the living room?

How did the lid come off the new container of vaseline and half the contents get licked out?

Where did Mulligan put her Left Gym Shoe?

What is that strange odor on the couch?

Why is there dismantled foam pool toy all over the back yard?

Where did Little Lad's Lunch go?

Why are three perfect corners missing from the garage floor mat?

These are much more thought-provoking things to ponder.  They will keep Mom's mind energized and exercised; keeping away mental blight and alzheimers.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Barking the Vote!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511146</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:55:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/511146</guid>
		<description>Yes, this is the year I am going to VOTE!  First I called the Hamilton County Board of Elections.
 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yes, this is the year I am going to VOTE!  First I called the Hamilton County Board of Elections.

Board of Elections:  "Hello, Board of Elections, how may I direct your call?"
Pennie:  "I'd like to register to vote."
BOE:  "Wonderful, what is your date of birth?"
Pennie:  "August 5, 2005."  
I actually gave the date of birth given to me by the shelter because I don't know my actual birth date."
BOE:  "Uh, that makes you only 3 years old.  All voters must be at least 18 years of age.  Click."

18 years of age!  Very few dogs live to be 18 years of age!  I'll count myself lucky if I live to be 14!  Plenty of cats will get to vote as they live longer than dogs.  Imagine this great country if Cats begin to vote.  Cats have no soul to begin with and I am certain that it does not improve as they become geriatric.

I called back a few days later.  This time I cheated just a little more.  I gave my age in dog years.  I said I was 21.  Fine.  Then I received my Voter Registration Card in the mail.  My duly appointed Voting Place is:  the local Elementary School.  Which does not allow dogs.  Nope.  Dogs are NOT welcome there.  Even on Pet Sharing Days students may only bring in pictures of their pets. Of course Little Lad brings in Pennie and Mulligan hair everyday, so HAH, by the time he is done the place will be infested with me.

I was feeling very disappointed.  But a sudden news flash!  The Absentee Ballot!  Yes, I am going to Vote by Absentee Ballot.  All I have to do is request it and mail it.  I shall not reveal my votes, because of course that is secret.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Here and Gone</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/510369</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:27:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/510369</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad popped home from the Shelter over the weekend to attend a Football Game.  Mulligan gave h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad popped home from the Shelter over the weekend to attend a Football Game.  Mulligan gave him an overly-enthusiastic greeting.  Mulligan has been a wreck.  Of course Mulligan always has been a neurotic worrier.
Me, on the other paw?  I have adjusted rather well.  Before joining the family I whelped a litter of pups and sent them on their way.  I suppose I view sending Oldest Lad off to the shelter the same way.  I have done my best and it is time for him to leave my nest and face the world.  There's only so much a Mother Dog can do.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mom Sandwich</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/508444</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:25:19 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/508444</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad has departed for his Shelter.  That leaves me with no place to lay my head at night as I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad has departed for his Shelter.  That leaves me with no place to lay my head at night as I am a faithful co-sleeper with Oldest Lad.  Mulligan sleeps in the Big Room with Mom and Dad.  I have decided to sleep in the Big Room as well.  I do have other choices.  I could sleep with Middle Lad, however, from a previous diary entry it should be clear that he is NOT one of my favourites.  I could choose to sleep with Little Lad, however he snores with awesome ferocity.  I fear that with the combined cycling of his snoring and my snoring, all in one corner of the house, a resonant frequency would occur, much like occured at the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, and the house would collapse.

With my best choice narrowed to The Big Room, I feel no qualms about pushing Mulligan aside and joining everyone in the Queen Sized Bed.  Dad still insists that he gets half the bed.  He also insists that no Canine Part Touch him while he is sleeping.  OK, so Mom gets the middle.  Mulligan squishes himself up next to her with his head or his butt in her face.  Then I curl up or stretch out, as my mood strikes, at Mom's feet.

Mom becomes the sandwich filling between Mulligan and Me on one side and Dad on the other.  Dad is very happy.  Mom is one who likes to have "her space" while sleeping.  Dad is one who sees no reason why he cannot occupy the same space as Mom while sleeping despite Laws of Physics that No Two Objects Can Occupy the Same Space at the Same Time.  Do any of us care what Mom thinks?  Or the Quality of her Sleep?  No.  Dad is a Man, so he is incapable of that depth of consideration.  Mulligan and I are Dogs so it matters not to us as long as we are comfortable.  If Mom doesn't want to be the Sandwich Filling, then there are two perfectly good couches downstairs.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fending for Ourselves During Hurricane Ike</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/508127</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 08:12:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/508127</guid>
		<description>&quot;Houston We Have A Problem.&quot;  Yep.  And the problem is that Hurricane Ike sped it's way right up to  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ "Houston We Have A Problem."  Yep.  And the problem is that Hurricane Ike sped it's way right up to Cincinnati.  Not that anyone Noticed.

Mulligan and I were forced to Fend For Ourselves.  The Ohio National Guard was in New Orleans cleaning up after Gustav.  The Red Cross was?  Certainly not in Cincinnati Suburbia.

The Mulligan/Pennie Compound was Insecure.  Over 800,000 Duke Energy Customers, 90% of Cincinnati was without Power.  A ginormous tree fell atop the power lines, breaching the sanctity of my own home and yard.  The Invisible Fence was without power.  Mulligan and I, being dogs of Honor, remained within the Mulligan/Pennie Compound to defend our territory.  But at what moment were all the REST of the neighborhood dogs going to realize that THEIR e-collars no longer worked?  At what moment were all those Dis-Honorable Dogs going to run rampant; tasting the thrill of freedom and heading straight for the garbage cans holding the gourmet contents of the now-useless refrigerator's?

The Mulligan/Pennie Compound remained without Power for Seven Days.  Mom and Dad daily went out in search for food for the family.  It was a far-flung search as most of the fellow suburbanites were also searching for food and many of the restaurants were closed due to lack of power.  The radio teamed with reports of the clean up efforts in Houston.  The clean up efforts in New Orleans.  The radio occasionally gave blurbs that:  For Local Help, Please Check the Internet.  Oh.  How Considerate.  Yes, Mulligan and I were able to get right on that.  For Local Help Check the Internet.

Apparently IF we had Power during our week WITHOUT POWER, we would have been able to Check the Interet to find out where to Find Help.  Perhaps then we would have been able to maybe get a free bottle of water or a cup of kibble.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie's Pecking Order</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/504639</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 07:22:19 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/504639</guid>
		<description>This morning I made it quite clear who is at the BOTTOM literally and figuratively, of my list.

I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning I made it quite clear who is at the BOTTOM literally and figuratively, of my list.

I was sleeping in Oldest Lad's room.  I requested to leave.  I found the rest of the house sleeping.  Middle Lad's bed was vacant as he had already left for Middle School.

When Mom got up (again) to get Little Lad up, she smelled an awful smell.  She looked around the house.  She could found no Source.  To Mom's nose the smell seemed to eminate from the Upstairs.

I came downstairs and Mom let me Outside.

As Mom went about her Morning Chores, she could find no Source, yet strangely, the Smell Lingered.  Finally, Mom decided to do a more thorough search.

After Middle Lad left for Middle School, and Mom returned to bed, I got up.  I found Middle Lad's Bed Vacant.  I Vacated Myself in it.   It was obvious from the quantity and the quality of the substance that I was suffering from an Intestinal Upset.

Middle Lad shall have to put forth more effort to win me over as  surely Middle Lad will be informed (by Oldest Lad, no doubt) of what I did to his Bed while he was away.  I mean, Middle Lad will easily be able to figure out he is on my sh!# list.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Breaded Mom</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/504362</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:29:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/504362</guid>
		<description>Scene:  Mom is napping on the couch, scrunched up between Mulligan and Pennie.

Mulligan:  &quot;I say  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Scene:  Mom is napping on the couch, scrunched up between Mulligan and Pennie.

Mulligan:  "I say I get 3 parts and you get 1 part.  I have been here 3 years and you've been here one.  So I should get more."

Pennie:  "That's not fair!  We should go half-zies!  Besides, it's so small and bony!"

Mulligan:  "Yeah, (Mulligan snickers) "and it's the only thing on Mom that's still small and bony!"

Pennie starts to growl:  "Give me that foot!"

Mulligan:  "No, it's mine!  I love her more than you do!  I get her Sesame Seed Bun!"

Mom suddenly wakes up.  "Hey, get my foot out of your mouth!  It's no Sesame Seed Bun!  I said clearly I have a cracked Sesamoid Bone and a Bunion!  Now let it heal up, so I can keep walking you stupid dogs."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Educated enough, thank you</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/503188</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 8 Sep 2008 11:28:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/503188</guid>
		<description>I don't know I am going to break the news, but I have decide NOT to go to college.  I was really exc ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I don't know I am going to break the news, but I have decide NOT to go to college.  I was really excited about going off to college with Oldest Lad.  I already knew what I was going to take:  10 tennis balls.  My cuz.  I didn't need to pack any linens because I was going to sleep with Oldest Lad, just like I do now.  I wasn't worried about getting into the "High Loft."  If I can leap onto the kitchen counters with no problem I am sure I can manage a High Loft.  I was going to share Oldest Lad's Meal Plan.  And pizza. Lots and lots of pizza.

Yes, I had it all planned out.  Then Mom happened to casually mention a bit of a bomb shell.  Mom, when she was a real person, actually worked at that same college.  She mentioned in passing something about the Department of Lab Animal Medicine.  Thank Dog for Dog Ears.  Ah, the Department of Lab Animal Medicine isn't about ah, fixing up animals.  No, there is a lot of research done at that college.

I could just see me, Pennie, running late for my Econ class when, wham, I'd be darted, then carted off to THE Department of No Return.  Nope.  I am NOT going for any higher education; even if I do have to miss out on all that Cold Pizza.  I am sure Mom purposely mentioned THE Department so I would overhear her.  And I have fallen for her manipulation.  And I SO hate to let Mom win.  But.  Suburban Life is Bland but at least it's Safe.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Unforgiven Pupdate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/498830</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:43:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/498830</guid>
		<description>Dad wrote Mom a touching note, begging her for forgiveness.  What else could he do?  It was definite ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad wrote Mom a touching note, begging her for forgiveness.  What else could he do?  It was definitely HIS pen that was found in the Dryer, exploded all over the load of clothes and the inside of the Dryer Drum.  No one else in the family uses that type of pen.  It was like leaving his DNA.
Here is his pithy request for family forgiveness, with spelling errors corrected.

"Add Me to the Unforgiven List:  

 I have been bad, terribly bad.  I think I finally done it this time.  No, it wasn’t a screw, a washer or even bubble gum.  No, far worse.  A pen…yes, a pen has caused me to break the ultimate sanctity of my marriage..  no, not our marriage bed, something far worse.  I, Mulligan and Pennie's Dad have soiled the sanctity of the Washing Machine… or was it the dryer?

 How can I ever enter the house again  and walk past those two fine upstanding machines without thinking what my actions have done to their stain fighting supers powers?  From now on, I will need to exit and enter through the front door to hide my shame.

With the stress of trying to send the two youngest lads off to gain their education, I may have added the last straw to pop the last circuit breaker of my dear wife’s sanity.  How can I ever repay her??  

 The only good thing is that I am making both Mulligan and Pennie look good…   I, on the other hand, will need to get used to sleeping on the couch and wearing dirty clothes."

Lame.  Very Lame.  The man was caught black inked all over the dryer drum.  Yet, I AM STILL ON THE UNFORGIVEN LIST.  Yep.  What is with Mom?  Just because she had that stupid stuffed clown saved for over 18 years and would wind it up for Oldest Lad to listen to every night when he was a baby.  I am really going to have to work on Mulligan to do something horrible.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Diary Pick</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/498347</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:33:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/498347</guid>
		<description>Today I am A Diary Pick.  Not THE Diary Pick, but A Diary Pick.  That does not get me off the list o ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I am A Diary Pick.  Not THE Diary Pick, but A Diary Pick.  That does not get me off the list of the Unforgiven.  No, I find that the Clown Incident still lingers although with the Mulligan Compound at an increased terror alert due to the Sandal War, perhaps the Family will be thankful that they have a Dog like me in their midst.

Yes, I bit the nose off the clown.  And the Sandal War Continues.  Chewie, the large overgrown shepherd-hound across the street destroyed Little Lad's Sandal.  In reality, this ruined the entire PAIR of Shoes as Little Lad cannot Hop around with just one sandal.  Or ruin his ankle, knees and hip by the awkward gait of wearing two mis-matched shoes.  Chewie is not a bad sort; he and I have attempted to make some gestures of friendliness.  However, the Alpha across the street is Rudy.  Rudy is a Jack Russel TerrierIST.  His electronic collar is set to immediately paralysis, yet he regularly charges it to race out and attack the mail truck.  Rudy once bit Dad and then hung on, his teeth inserted into Dad's calf, while Dad hopelessly attempted to flick him off.

My hope is the Sandal War will make the Family Forgive me for the Clown.  After all; isn't it far worse for a Foreigner to Destroy Family Property than for me to chew up an old tattered heirloom?

I can always count on Mulligan to do something.  This morning Oldest Lad had his lunch set out to take to work and Mulligan rapidly snatched and ate the Cinnamon Bun while Oldest Lad was brushing his teeth.  Or maybe one of the Lads will do something.  School just started, it has to be time for a failed test to put me back into good 
form.
Pupdate:
Dad left a pen in his shorts pocket.  That pen then exploded inside the dryer, all over a load of shorts and the dryer tub.  Mom scrubbed out the dryer.  She dried a load of towels in it.  Then she soaked and she re-washed the shorts..  Then she re-washed the towels she had used in the dryer.  Perhaps I may find myself with hopes of getting off the Unforgiven List after all.  Mom has an obsession with her washer and dryer that may just render Dad on the Unforgiven List.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Unforgiven</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/495350</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 12:34:18 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/495350</guid>
		<description>I have been terribly bad.  Completely bad.  My family now hates me.  Oldest Lad won't even look at m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been terribly bad.  Completely bad.  My family now hates me.  Oldest Lad won't even look at me.

Oldest Lad has a musical clown stuffed toy that he received as a gift when he was but a few weeks old.  It has survived intact for 18 years.  Mom had it out, washed it and dried it, because Oldest Lad is switching rooms with the Other Lads.

Sometime during the night I found the Clown.  The Clown is not laughing anymore.  It's barely breathing, actually because I ate the nose right off of it.  I don't know what possessed me but I chewed that nose right off the clown and I chewed a few other spots as well.

Maybe it could survive over 18 years with a child but give it one night with me, and it's a goner.

I know it's bad because right now everyone is treating Mulligan like he's the "Good Dog."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Don't mess up MY back yard</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/493955</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:02:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/493955</guid>
		<description>Oh, it's just so gross.  I can hardly stand to go out in my own back yard.
Mom made appointments fo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh, it's just so gross.  I can hardly stand to go out in my own back yard.
Mom made appointments for Middle Lad and Little Lad to get their hair cut.  When she called, the Stylist was on vacation.  It was fine; she could get an appointment for the day before the Lads were to set off for Cleveland with Dad to visit Grandma.  Dad changed the rules at the last minute.  He suddenly decided to leave early.  When the Lads return, they have Obligations for Which They Must Look Half-Way Decent, as Mom puts it, before Mom can get another appointment for them.

Oldest Lad stepped in and offered to use his Hair Clippers.  Oldest Lad purchased Hair Clippers this past Varsity Swim Season.  As Team Captain it was his job to Make the Team Bald before Championships.  Since then Oldest Lad has been clipping his own hair.

Like Little Lambs, Middle Lad and Little Lad were sent to be Shorn.  I watched in agony.  I was certain Little Lad was going to lose an ear he was so wiggly.

Now here's the gross part.  Oldest Lad took all the hair and:  Flung it out into my Back Yard!  Yuck!  Now there is Human Hair all over my Clean Yard!  I should make him go vacuum it up.

It's one thing for me and Mulligan to leave our lovely Dog Hair, a gift of warmth, insulation and love, all over the house and furniture.  But this human hair was nothing but trash.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Dogs were Right All Along.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/492409</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 9 Aug 2008 07:59:21 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/492409</guid>
		<description>Once again, it has been proven that Dogs have been correct all along.  When an intruder comes to the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Once again, it has been proven that Dogs have been correct all along.  When an intruder comes to the door of a Dog's Domain, the Dog barks a loud, threatening warning.  This is especially true if this intruder is a Package Delivery person:  United States Postal Service, Federal Express, UPS, DHL, etc.
Of course, what happens?  The dogs are told to "be quiet!"

Yeah, well, those poor dogs of the Mayor of Berwyn Heights, have been permanently quieted.  The Package Purveyor delivered a package of marijuana to their house.  This Package Purveyor was part of a plot of delivering packages of drugs to innocent victims, then having team members pick up the packages before the victim could grab the package.  The dogs unfortunately were shot when the County Assault Team arrived to figure out what Mrs. Suburbia Mayor was planning to do with 32 pounds of marijuana.

I rest my case.  Dogs, we must never be quieted again.  It is our foresworn duty to protect our domain from all Package Purveyors.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>&quot;Dogs From Brazil&quot;</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/490912</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 5 Aug 2008 11:52:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/490912</guid>
		<description>The Apawcalypse is Truly Coming!  On our own Dogster News it says that Dog Cloning has become a Comm ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Apawcalypse is Truly Coming!  On our own Dogster News it says that Dog Cloning has become a Commercial Reality!

Just last night I watched "The Boys From Brazil" with Mom.  It stars Gregory Peck and Laurence Olivier and a host of others.  It is based on the novel by Ira Levin of the same name.  Mom has read the novel as well, which is a fantastic read.

Has no one learned anything from Cable TV?  From the Internet?  Through Turner Classic Movies, and Amazon.com, quite possibly through FREE Public Access to a Local Library, any one of us can access the Video or Book version of "The Boys from Brazil."

To fill the non-literary, non-classic movie sort in:  In "The Boys from Brazil," a cloning plot is un-covered.  Legendary Dr. Josef Mengele, of the Nazi Concentration Camp fame, has escaped to Brazil and continued his horrendous experiments.  He has created little Hitler-Clones, and sent them out to be raised in countries all over the world.

Obviously, when one thinks about cloning dogs, one thinks of cloning Great Dogs:  Lassie.  Rin Tin Tin.  Commander Dexter Nova Bright Star.  Gussie Finknottle.

What about the not-so-great?  The world does NOT need a second Mulligan.  What about a whole host of Mulligans?  With his almost opposable thumbs and brilliant sociopathic mind Mulligan Clones would soon take over Suburbia.

The slippery slope of Dog Cloning MUST be stopped.  As beautiful and wondrous as I am, I myself can see that a clone of myself would not be worth the sacrifice of the world to a host of Mulligans.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Puppies</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/489310</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 2 Aug 2008 08:00:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/489310</guid>
		<description>Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently became the parents of twins.  Congratulations to the couple.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie recently became the parents of twins.  Congratulations to the couple.  What I don't understand is all the hoopla surrounding the "first pictures" of the twins.  Human babies are, well, not especially attractive when they are born.  Really, who wants to pay a lot of money to see a newborn human baby?

Now Puppies?  Puppies are cute from the very beginning.  As soon as the Mother cleans up the Pup, (yea, the Mom does it, no fancy nurse needed) the Pup is cute and adorable and picture perfect.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>How Other Dogs Live</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/488920</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 1 Aug 2008 13:39:04 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/488920</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad has been House-Sitting this week for neighbors up the street.  Two dogs live there, Shamu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad has been House-Sitting this week for neighbors up the street.  Two dogs live there, Shamu and Samantha.  Each night Oldest Lad has been retrieving me and taking me up to the house to spend the night.

Well, I have learned a few things.

Mom and Dad attempt to make me feel terribly guilty, even BAD when I do such things as poop on the carpet and get into the trash.  They try to make me feel as if I am the only Dog in the entire world that ever does those things.

Well let me tell you.

Samantha and Shamu have pooped on the carpet multiple times this week.  Today Oldest Lad even had to call Mom to help him clean up a few messes because they weren't "firm" and he didn't know how to clean them adequately.

AND, Shamu and Samantha pulled out a bag of trash and dismembered it's contents all over the family room.

I am done with feeling guilty about what I do.  I have seen it for myself.  My behavior is no different from other dogs.  In fact, I may behave BETTER than other dogs, as I have not pooped inside the house in months.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Too wierd for me.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/485540</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:25:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/485540</guid>
		<description>I am a female dog of my own means.  I can hunt:  moles, mice, chipmunks; they tremble when they see  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am a female dog of my own means.  I can hunt:  moles, mice, chipmunks; they tremble when they see me.  I love to spend the day in the Second Garage while Dad and/or others are working on projects using great large power tools.  Sure I love my cup of kibble, but I am just saying that I am a Self-Reliant Dog.

I don't like the blow-dryer.  Mom doesn't use it that much.  She has her hair in a perm right now and only needs to use it for her bangs.

Lately too much wierdness has been taking place.  First off, because Mom is obviously not as skilled a Nurturer and Care-Giver as me, Little Lad broke his arm.  He was playing on our Play Set and fell off the monkey bars.  Mom was inside the house at the time.  She should have been outside, hovering underneath him to prevent his fall.  First he had a cast that went almost up to his armpit.  It could not get wet.  Now Little Lad has a new cast, only up to his elbow.  It is a "Water Cast."

Here is the Wierdness.  Every night after Little Lad showers, Mom or Dad takes the Blow-Dryer, (on the COOL setting) and Blow Dries Little Lad.  Well, his cast that is.  I bark.  I hover.  I pace.  I worry.  It's just not right.  Mom says the instructions from the doctor said it needed to be done.  What kind of doctor is this?  I'm not afraid of the Leaf Blower.  Couldn't we use that on the cast?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Solving the Energy Crisis</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483792</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 19 Jul 2008 13:19:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483792</guid>
		<description>Today I supervised Mom while she attended to her Yard Detail.  Phew is it HOT.  It hasn't rained eit ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I supervised Mom while she attended to her Yard Detail.  Phew is it HOT.  It hasn't rained either.  That makes Mom's dooty easier as her pickings are dry and easy to pick up.

Which got me to thinking . . . .

The early pioneers used Cow Patties as a source of fuel to heat their homes.  What about dried Dog Sausages?  The Sausages Mom was picking up had been naturally baked by the sun and could easily be burned.  It is a completely renewable enery source.

I suppose one would have to check into what one's dog ate.  I do have a tendency to chew, but I don't consume.  I chewed up a little toy car that belonged to Little Lad, but left all the remnants upon the carpet, leaving my Dog Sausages uncontaminated by plastic that would cause harmful, hazardous vapors if burned.

Mulligan is another story.  He regularly ingests plastic bags, which would produce noxious fumes hazardous to the air quality if breathed.  Then there is all the other stuff he gets into.  He regularly goes through Mom's purse.  Gum.  Pens.  American Flags.  Mom gets terrible Migraines.  She keeps all her "Stock" medications up out of reach, but does keep a few pills in her purse for headaches that come upon her when she is away from home.  Mulligan has been known to go through the contents of Mom's purse while she is driving and Mom isn't sure if these pills have been consumed by Mulligan or if they are pulverized upon the van carpet somewhere.  Who knows what effect any of those pills, once they have been digested by a dog, would have upon air quality.

Anyway, in this heat of the summer, it is obviously the time to stock up on Dog Sausages for the Winter, or to use them to stoke the furnace to run the Air Conditioner.

And of course, don't forget to insulate the Attic.  Save all the shed dog hair and lay it upon the floor of the attic for added insulation.  A hot attic adds to the energy needed to cool the house.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Secret Service Dogs</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483375</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:33:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483375</guid>
		<description>Presidential Candidate Barack Obama's children are clamoring for a dog.  In fact, our own esteemed D ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Presidential Candidate Barack Obama's children are clamoring for a dog.  In fact, our own esteemed Dogster is pushing this same issue.

Which brings to mind, the Presidential Dog Secret Service.  There is a long history of dogs in the White House.  The first question of course, is where does the First Dog take care of it's Business?  On the White House Lawn?  And who picks it up?  I can well envision First Lady Laura Bush bending over with bagged hand to pick up a poop, but when Hillary Clinton was First Lady, can one really imagine her bending over to pick up after Buddy, when he was First Dog?

Of course, the ultimate question is the security of the First Dog, or Dogs.  There must be an entire entourage of Secret Service Dobermans to take care of the First Dog, ready to mass atop the First Dog in a Giant Dog Pile at the first hint of danger.  These Secret Service Dobermans must be all outfitted with dark sunglasses, ties, and ear pieces.  For further security, other breeds, such as Pit Bulls would be perfect.  A Pit Bull would make a perfect Under Cover Secret Service Dog as no one would expect such a dis-reputable dog to be  part of the First Dog Protection Team.

If Candidate Barack Obama does indeed become President and succumbs to his family wishes what impact will a puppy have on the White House?  Puppies are not exactly known for stellar behavior.  Sorry, citizens of the United States, but the First Puppy had separation anxiety and ATE the entire Lincoln Bedroom.

PupDate:  Dogster Kirby pointed out that perhaps a First Dog ate George Washington's Teeth. (eew!)  That led me to wonder how useful a First Dog could be.  Aren't some of Former President Nixon's Tapes still missing?  Yes, a First Dog could be quite handy in a Crisis.  Puts a whole new light on paper shredding.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Life Guard</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483140</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:10:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/483140</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad is a Life Guard at the YMCA.  This is what he does most of the day:  Yell at children to  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad is a Life Guard at the YMCA.  This is what he does most of the day:  Yell at children to "WALK! on the Pool Deck."

That is why dogs can not be Life Guards.  As soon as one Human Life Guard Yelled:  "WALK!"
all the Dog Life Guards would abandon their Guard Chairs and run to the Pool Gate, barking and wriggling and clamoring to go for a Walk.

Meanwhile, someone would assuredly drown.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Creepy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/482293</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:27:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/482293</guid>
		<description>OK, in the Utility Room there is a &quot;Special Hook&quot; upon which hangs the leashes of the former Canines ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ OK, in the Utility Room there is a "Special Hook" upon which hangs the leashes of the former Canines, Samson and Tyler.  It is supposed to be a Place of Honor.

Personally, I find it a bit Creepy.

I am TOLD that Samson reached a ripe old age of 13 and a half, quite old for a large dog.  It was un-known how old Tyler was, but he was definitely old.

Apparently I am supposed to pay no heed to these two empty hanging leashes, but isn't this indeed a "Veiled Threat?"

I mean, one isn't likely to invite a living moose, or a living bear into one's home for a visit, if one is a hunter and the walls are covered in trophies of moose or bear heads.  One would not invite a fish home to watch a movie if the walls were covered in large plaques of the biggest catch of the day.

So . . . what exactly IS intended by the hanging of these empty leashes?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Tent City</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/482159</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:43:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/482159</guid>
		<description>Little Lad has set up his own Tent City in the Living Room.  Apparently he did not qualify for a FEM ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Little Lad has set up his own Tent City in the Living Room.  Apparently he did not qualify for a FEMA Trailer as we live in the Ohio Valley and did not have a recent Hurricane, Flood, or other Natural Disaster.  He was forced to make do with a Tent City.  He has three tents and has moved most of his large family them.  He is not married and I am not sure how he managed to collect such a large quantity of off-spring, but there are a lot of them.  WebKinz, CareBears, teddy bears, each troublesome and demanding.

Anyhoo, in my natural role as Mother I have taken it upon myself to help take care of all these offspring.  This of course add to my already burdensome role of caring for the rest of the family, since MOM is obviously inept.  Most days I now spend in one of the tents, laying amidst the large heap of stuffed animals and blankets.  When I came to the family I had recently given birth and my natural instincts are to protect my family unit.

Little Lad has been banished, grounded to his room for the day, for a terrible transgression.  He did not have the opportunity to grab his animals before he was shackled and sent to prison and now I, Pennie, am spending my day caring for this large heap of soft furry-ness.  A Female Dog's work is never done.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Confession</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/478408</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Jul 2008 19:09:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/478408</guid>
		<description>Hello.  My name is Pennie.  I have been clean or sober for 24 hours.

All is quiet is Suburbia ton ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hello.  My name is Pennie.  I have been clean or sober for 24 hours.

All is quiet is Suburbia tonight.  I hear no Fireworks, I hear no Suburbanites trying to explode themselves or set fire to the mortgaged property of other Suburbanites.  Last night I have to admit I kind of enjoyed the fireworks.  I sat on Mom's lap, and contemplated the colors, the sounds, all under the influence of drugs.  While Mulligan was pacing about and foaming at the mouth I was kissing everyone I saw and wondering at the amazement of my own Paw.  I am really not quite sure what I did and hope that I was not an utter embarassment to myself.

I thank my Mom for supporting me, although she, yes, she led me down the path towards spending Independence Day under the influence of Drugs.

I have to take responsibility for myself.  Although Mom put the Pill in the cheese; I willingly took the cheese into my own mouth.  The cheese and the pill were in no way forced upon me.

Thank you to all my fans that read my Diary; I am ashamed that you had to find me in a drugged state.  I assure you that I will do my best to be strong and always to check any Cheese offered to me.

Until next year's Fireworks.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>She can NOT run things.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/477510</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 3 Jul 2008 08:38:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/477510</guid>
		<description>Yesterday Mom slipped me a little pill in a piece of Individually wrapped processed American cheese. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday Mom slipped me a little pill in a piece of Individually wrapped processed American cheese.  Only she did take the wrap off first.  The purpose of the pill was to "calm" me.  It was a trial run for the Independence Day Holiday when it seems that all of Suburbia breaks loose in trying to liberate their various appendages from their bodies with explosive devices.  If they are unsucessful in liberating their own appendages from their bodies, then they try to set fire to the houses of their neighbors.

For some reason the loud noise of all this mayhem bothers me.  Mom got me a few Doggie Downers.  Yesterday she gave me one to see if one would be enough; as the dose is somewhat subjective.

Oh sure, Mom thinks she is so clever.  But put Pennie out of commission for just a FEW SHORT HOURS and already the house has gone to h#!! in a handbasket.

Middle Lad knocked over a large bottle of Dial concentrated foaming liquid hand soap on the utility room floor.  The stock bottle; the kind used to fill the little bottles of soap kept at the sink.  Instead of noticing the incident or reporting  it; he just ignored it.  As usual, the Shelter Dogs were first accused:  "Did Pennie have an accident in the Utility Room?"

Mom went in to investigate.  She immediately noticed no telltale color or odor of urine.  (All clues Dad missed, as he is a man.)  Looking beyond the rapidly enlarging scene of the crime, she noticed the large bottle of concentrated foaming liquid soap on it's side.  She immediately picked it up to stop the flow.

A mat had absorbed some of the flow.  That was taken outside to be faomed off, er, hosed off later.

Now the problem.  How to clean up the mess.  Mom cleaned up most of the actual liquid with an entire roll of paper towels.  She did not use regular towels for she feared that if she then tried to wash them that who knows what would happen to all that foaming soap in the washing machine.

Then she set to trying to wipe up the floor.  Impossible.  Each wipe just creates more foam.  Mom then just put some towels on the floor to think about the problem.

See?  I was only out of it for a matter of hours and Mom is incompetent to run the house for just this amount of time.  I shudder to think what shall happen on the Fourth if Mom truly goes forth with her plan to render me drugged.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>better living through chemistry</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/477140</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Jul 2008 10:42:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/477140</guid>
		<description>Oh sure Mom I'll have a lovely piece of cheese.  I feel so relaxed.  I might just take a little nap. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh sure Mom I'll have a lovely piece of cheese.  I feel so relaxed.  I might just take a little nap.  What's that you say, Mulli?  How's the drug trial going?  I dunno Mulli.  I'd never take any of Mumzie's drugs.  You know how she gets when she gets a migraine.  It's nighty night Mumzie.    And I said I'd never take a pill for the Fireworks.  I think I'll just nap for aa zz zzzzzzzzz.

Mulli, you don't think Mom slipped me one of those sedatives, yawn, do you?  I'll have to ask h e rrrr zzzzzzzz.


Pupdate:  I spent the rest of the day singing Beatles songs and listening to the "Wall" album by Pink Floyd.  Towards 9 o'clock Oldest Lad decided to see if I truly was calmer and set off a few fireworks.  Fireworks, Schmireworks.  It bothered me no more than the opening of a soda can.


Mom says I'll be ready for the Holiday, if the annoying neighbors try to set Suburbia Ablaze.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Two Females</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/476552</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:31:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/476552</guid>
		<description>I overheard Mom on the phone.  She is going to drug me.  Yes, I heard her ordering drugs for me over ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I overheard Mom on the phone.  She is going to drug me.  Yes, I heard her ordering drugs for me over the phone.  She claims that I have a "terrible reaction" to fire works and "was there anything that could be done."  The Vet's office bought that story and tomorrow Mom is off to buy me some narcotics.  Oh, I supposed it's not like she is going to illegally transport them from Canada.  But I'll bet she'll have Little Lad in the car when she makes the drug deal.

I'll admit that I did get a little un-nerved when some fireworks were set off near my own place of residence just the other day.  Perhaps I was just cold.  And had recently drank a lot of caffeine.  I then refused to leave the house the next day.  Or the next.  At least I have a bigger bladder than Mulligan, Mr. Belly Band drippy dog.  (And that's AFTER whelping pups.  Hey Mom -- see who stays dry after a good hard sneeze, me or you!)

Still, it's well known that Mom and I are at odds over which Female should be running things around here.  Mom is just not competent to run the house without me.  The evidence is clear:  Little Lad with a broken arm.  The house a mess.  Mulligan attempting to be Alpha.  Right now Little Lad is up past his bedtime because Mom forgot to put his sheets in the dryer.  Me?  I would clean them with my own tongue; forgoing the need for them even to head to the washing machine.

We'll see who ends up drugged on Independence Day, by Dog.  It's not called Independence Day for nothin'.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>In Suburbia!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/475024</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 26 Jun 2008 14:15:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/475024</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad was at the YMCA today; a fine Christian establishment.  He was outside, teaching swim les ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad was at the YMCA today; a fine Christian establishment.  He was outside, teaching swim lessons to small children.  He was standing on the pool deck in his swim trunks, with no shirt on.

A Woman Drove Up and Slipped Him a TEN Dollar Bill Through the Fence!






Oh, yeah, it was Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Maneuveribility Test/She said</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/474248</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:41:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/474248</guid>
		<description>When Mom drives into to driveway in the Van, if Mulligan and I are out, this is what happens:  I bec ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ When Mom drives into to driveway in the Van, if Mulligan and I are out, this is what happens:  I become wildly happy.  Then I step carefully aside, mindful that it is quite tricky to maneuver the van into the garage.  If needed, I offer gentle murmurs of encouragement.  I make sure Mom can see me at all times so that she doesn't have to worry about running me over as she tries to avoid running into the wall.

Now Mulligan?  He makes a total @$$ fo himself.   He gets as close to the van as possible.  Mom is rather short, and even with the seat set at it's highest settings, doesn't have a great view.  All she can see of Mulligan is the tip of his wagging white tail.  She must slowly guide the van in, keeping an eye on the tip of his wagging white tail, to prevent running him over.  In addition to trying to execute the proper turn to avoid hitting the side of the garage, she has to watch out for Mulligan, never sure where to expect his tail to appear.

Mulligan is such a Male about the whole thing.  Mom is at the Wheel; not Mulligan.  She can get the Van into the Garage without HIS help.  But of course, being a Male, without any sensitivity, he must try to assume control of the situation and just makes it much harder for Mom.  He offers no encouragement; just the knowledge that if Mom makes one little error she either takes out the side of the garage (and the van) or takes out one or more of his body parts.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Working Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/472711</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 20 Jun 2008 07:13:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/472711</guid>
		<description>I did not get to go to work today.  I have just too much work to do at HOME!  
Dad went up to the C ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I did not get to go to work today.  I have just too much work to do at HOME!  
Dad went up to the Cleveland office for the day and well, it just sounded too boring.  Now Oldest Lad, I am going to have to bring his boss up on charges with the ACLU.  She discriminated against me strictly on the basis that "I am a dog."  Now if that is not discrimination, then I don't know what is.  She said no dogs at the YMCA.  Oh, I really wanted to go to work with Oldest Lad.  I could just see myself:  Barking at the children to "Walk! on the pool deck."  and "Stop crying in your swim lesson, for dog's sake, just do the doggy paddle!"  I would also really like to check out the locker room.  Yep, I can just picture it.  Sneaking up on the nekkid people and poking them in the arse with my cold wet nose.

Regardless, I am needed at home.  With this most recent incident of Little Lad breaking his arm, Mom has once again shown her total ineptitude at caring for her Pups.  I must be here at home to bath and monitor and run the household.  Really, it is a full-time job being a Mother to this family, especially with Mom always trying to wrestle control away from me:  and look what happens?  Little Lad falls and breaks a bone.

I have to go, now I must oversee packing Middle Lad packing for Boy Scout Camp.  Mom is likely to send him off without enough underwear.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nurse Pennie, here to serve</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/472002</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:53:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/472002</guid>
		<description>I have been summoned to don my Nursing Cap once again.  With Little Lad's unfortunate accident, I mu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been summoned to don my Nursing Cap once again.  With Little Lad's unfortunate accident, I must do all I can to help him heal.  After caring for Oldest Lad's ACL knee surgery, I am certain a minor broken arm should not be quite as difficult.

I do wonder at Mom's ability to whelp pups however.  Little Lad was playing a game of follow the leader in our own back yard with a neighbor lad.  This neighbor boy is almost a full year younger, but in the same grade due to his birthday arrangement and his parents need to send him out of the house.  Neighbor Boy is a fine strapping youth.  He is the second of four boys, all produced within a very short time frame and all at the top of the growth charts.  As opposed to Mom, who managed to produce three rather pathetic boys,  but spaced far apart due to her lack of reproductive capabilities.  These Neighbor Boys all excel at sports and have yet to break a bone despite never wearing bike helmets, watching for cars, and they generally run amuck.

Anyhoo, Neighbor Boy was the Leader, of course, as he naturally assumes that position regardless of the decided rules, and Little Lad was the Follower.  Neighbor Boy easily navigated the Monkey Bars and Little Lad succumbed to gravity.  In High School, no doubt Neighbor Boy will be the Captain of the Football Team.  Little Lad will be on the Academic Quiz team and writing Neighbor Boy's term papers.

All day yesterday I hovered over Little Lad.  My brow was all a-wrinkle with worry.  When Mom left with Little Lad to run a few errands, I was frantic and fortunately discovered Oldest Lad napping.  I curled up into a tight Pennie-Ball with Oldest Lad.  Last Night Mom gave Little Lad a shower.  She put a plastic bag on his arm.  She gave him a very short shower and I was right there.  I was practically IN the shower with Little Lad. Then I carefully inspected ALL Little Lad's parts, which he didn't particularly enjoy, but couldn't defend himself from my quick muzzle and fast tongue.  I pronounced him clean.

Back to my duties.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Only Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/469883</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:54:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/469883</guid>
		<description>I am soon to be an Only Dog.  Mulligan is going to be Shot.  Or hanged.  Whatever is done with Dogs  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am soon to be an Only Dog.  Mulligan is going to be Shot.  Or hanged.  Whatever is done with Dogs Charged with Treason.

Mulligan ate an American Flag.  Yup, we went for a ride and he found a small flag in the van.  He ate it.  I am sure that is far worse than even flag-burning.  Because we all know what is going to happen to that flag in a day or so.

Perhaps I shall start picking out a new pal from the shelter website.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>HomeARama</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/469133</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:04:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/469133</guid>
		<description>In today's Cincinnati Enquirer, there is an OpEd that criticizes the new show homes for excesses.  O ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In today's Cincinnati Enquirer, there is an OpEd that criticizes the new show homes for excesses.  One of those excesses mentioned is a separate Bedroom for the Dog.

Indeed that does seem an Excess.  What dog wants his own bedroom?  Isn't the whole idea to sleep with your Mom or Dad, or Mom and Dad, or a Human Sibling, or a Human Sibling Group?

Personally, I sleep with either Oldest Lad, Mom and Dad, or just Mom if Dad is travelling.  I don't even need a bigger room or bed because I prefer to sleep ON TOP of whomever I choose to bed-share.

Now, Mulligan has his own idea, which would be to have a separate bedroom for Dad, giving Mulligan more space in the bed with Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Betrayed</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/468545</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 8 Jun 2008 16:39:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/468545</guid>
		<description>As if yesterdays Plumbing nightmare was not enough, Oldest Lad received his Housing Assignment.  He  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As if yesterdays Plumbing nightmare was not enough, Oldest Lad received his Housing Assignment.  He will be living in a COED Dorm.  Yes, he will be cheating on me every day, with those other women walking around, scantily clad on their way to the shower.  Dear Dog, I hope the Showers aren't coed!  I must find a way to go to college with Oldest Lad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Plumber Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/468112</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 Jun 2008 10:14:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/468112</guid>
		<description>All sorts of terribleness is going on today.  I am sure by the end of the weekend Mom and Dad will b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ All sorts of terribleness is going on today.  I am sure by the end of the weekend Mom and Dad will be divorced, Mulligan and I will be dropped off in a field in the middle of no-where and the Lads will all be in foster care.

Dad has finally decided to install the new laundry tub.  He has put it off for at least a year and a half.  It is surely the Mother of all Laundry Tubs.  14 gauge stainless steel.  Dad himself crafted the cabinet in his second garage aka workshop aka hideout.  The last two days Mom has spent doing laundry for fear of when she shall ever get to laundry again.

Dad solemnly advised everyone to shower this morning for he was going to turn off the hot water and "we may all be showering at the YMCA tonight."

I have been haunting Dad's side, telling him which tool to use and which cut to make.  My eyes are bulging in fear and the worry lines are etched in my fur.  I do know that Mom secretly has the final card in her pocket of calling a professional plumber.  But to what depths of desperation will Dad have to go before he will submit to this?  With paws crossed Mulligan and I hope for Dad's ego and our very existence that Dad will be able to accomplish this task that he has set before him.

5:00 Pupdate
Mom left at 2:00 to retrieve the Middle Lad and Little Lad from Taekwondo.  She thought it best to shield them from the events occuring at home so she took them on errands.  Alas, she cared not for the duress put upon my soul.
At 5:00 Mom returned home to discover a Plumber Van parked in the driveway and Mulligan and I quivering in her bedroom.  I am too shaken and disturbed at this time to speak of what tragic events ensued in those short three hours to have everything go so wrong and Dad give in to call the plumber, on a Saturday, no less.
Further Pupdate.
All's well that end's well.  Thankfully we live in a two story home.  Mulligan and I safely made it to the top floor before the floods arrived.  Dad has chosen to never speak of the tragic incidents that occured in the Utility room.  We will not have to live in a FEMA trailer after all, and Mom will be able to commence laundry soon.  Mom has vowed that despite 94 degree heat and 4 dollar gas, she will never again leave Mulli and I home during such a trial.  She says that she only left us because she couldn't "leave us in the car, or our brains would cook,"  while she and the lads ran errands.  She vows next time she will drive us around for as many hours as it takes to spare us another Plumbing Ordeal.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Folded!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/467480</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 5 Jun 2008 11:12:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/467480</guid>
		<description>It was a nightmare!  I jumped up on the bed.  Mom was folding clothes.  I landed smack in the middle ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It was a nightmare!  I jumped up on the bed.  Mom was folding clothes.  I landed smack in the middle of the FLIP FOLD (as seen on TV, yes, it really works.)  I was FOLDED!  It was caught on me, I couldn't shake it off. Mom had to free it off my leg!  No wonder the shirts end up with such perfect creases, they are in mortal terror of that device!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Two Females</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/466307</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 2 Jun 2008 09:03:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/466307</guid>
		<description>It's been well know that two females just can't live well in the same household.  Let's go back to B ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's been well know that two females just can't live well in the same household.  Let's go back to Biblical times:  Abraham had troubles with his wife Sarah and with his maid Hagar.  See, it's historical.  Anyway, Mom and I just don't always see eye to eye.  I don't like the mat by the back door.  It's woefully ugly.  I moved it.  And the garden by the side of the house.  I am busy creating beautiful holes in it.  There are quite lovely.  Come see them.  Mom keeps filling them back in!  Mom put some hydrocortisone on Middle Lad's leg rash.  She missed a few spots so I used my tongue to lick and spread the ointment better.  It just goes on and on.  I even have to inspect the Lads to make sure they are clean because Mom doesn't always do a good job with it.  Perhaps Mom should get an apartment in the city.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Uh, no I really don't know .  .  .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/465099</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 29 May 2008 17:53:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/465099</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Why is the curtain for the back door on the floor?&quot;

Dad:  &quot;I don't know.  It must have fal ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Why is the curtain for the back door on the floor?"

Dad:  "I don't know.  It must have fallen down."

Mom:  "Why is the curtain rod all bent?  Did you bend it when you were snaking out the laundry tub?"

Dad:  "I don't know.  The laundry tub is on the other side of the room."

Mom:  "Why is there spit all over the curtain?"

Dad:  "I don't know?"

Mom:  "Was Pennie ever in this room alone?"

Pennie:  "Um, Uh, no I really don't have any idea how the curtain got pulled off the door, the rod got bent, and the curtain got chewed on.  Honestly."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Vegetables</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/465029</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 29 May 2008 14:49:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/465029</guid>
		<description>Mom says I smell like raw broccoli.  And dog.  She says it makes it hard for her to eat broccoli bec ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom says I smell like raw broccoli.  And dog.  She says it makes it hard for her to eat broccoli because then she thinks of me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>gardening</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/462870</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 May 2008 12:48:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/462870</guid>
		<description>We are having guests this weekend.  To help with the cleaning and decorating I dug a really large ho ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We are having guests this weekend.  To help with the cleaning and decorating I dug a really large hole in the garden on the side of the house, spreading mulch and dirt all over the driveway as well.  It looks great!  Mom loves it! I can tell because as soon as she saw it she yelled to Dad:
"Would you come and see what Pennie has done!"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>It's always the poor shelter dog who must suffer.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/462485</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 22 May 2008 09:04:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/462485</guid>
		<description>Why did I have to suffer for the sins of the Oldest Lad?

Mom was rather irritated at Oldest Lad.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Why did I have to suffer for the sins of the Oldest Lad?

Mom was rather irritated at Oldest Lad.  Oldest Lad wanted to go see the Midnight Oh One showing of the new Indiana Jones movie last night.  
Mom was vastly opposed.  "No.  Yes, I agree school is no longer doing anything, you are just having a picnic on Thursday, but I see no reason why you have to be out at 2:30 in the morning driving home from a movie.  I don't care if I am the meanest Mom in the world and ALL your friends are going."

Eventually Dad over-ruled Mom and Oldest Lad received permission to go.  But then the plot thickened.  Oldest Lad was going to drive a neighbor boy who is still too young to drive that late.  This neighbor boy's parents do not care for Mom and Dad due to an unfortunate Science Fair grudge.  Just recently these neighbors have began to let Oldest Lad and this boy resume their friendship but they refuse to say hello or acknowledge Mom and Dad's existence despite living only 3 houses away.

Mom:  "Oh great.  Now you are driving Neighbor Boy.  If you get into a car accident, I am going to have to kill you off and sell your organs on e-bay to pay for the lawsuit that surely these neighbors are going to bring against us if you harm their Fair Haired Child."

By the time Oldest Lad was ready to leave for the movie Mom was falling asleep.  That was when Oldest Lad discovered that Mom had washed all his bed linens.  However, she had not made up the bed.  Oldest Lad requested that Mom better wake up enough to have his bed made before he got home because surely he was going to be tired at 2:30 in the morning.  Needless to say, since Mom was opposed to the whole Indiana Jones at Twelve Oh One Idea in the first place, she put her foot down and said that unless Dad made the bed, then Oldest Lad would have to make his OWN bed at 2:30 in the morning.

Then Mom, Mulligan, and I went up to bed, there to sleep peacefully until Oldest Lad came home.  Then Oldest Lad summoned me, as usual, since I alwasy sleep with him.  There was the large clump of bed linens on the bed.  And this morning the large clump remained.  I spent an uncomfortable  last few hours of the night on the couch with Oldest Lad.  Why did I have to suffer a back ache and an upset schedule just because of Indiana Jones and the Bed Linens?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Eat like a lady</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/461087</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 18 May 2008 08:35:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/461087</guid>
		<description>For a special treat, with Dad, Middle Lad, and Little Lad gone for their various Camping Experiences ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ For a special treat, with Dad, Middle Lad, and Little Lad gone for their various Camping Experiences, Mom and Oldest Lad took Mulli and I for a Special Treat.  We went for a Doggie Sundae!  It's at the local Whip Tee Dip.  It's not really called that, but that's what the family calls it.  Anyway, a Doggie Sundae, is a dish of Vanilla Soft Serve Ice Cream with a Milk Bone stuck in it.

Mulli has been for a Doggie Sundae before but this was my first time.  When he got out of the car he went straight for his dish of ice cream and ate it right off the parking lot.  Not me.  Maybe I eat mice and moles raw from the back yard, but I am a Lady, after all.

I took a few licks.  Then Mom realized that she had to hold the dish for me.  Yes, I am a Lady.  Mom had to hold the dish of ice cream for me and I delicately licked it's creamy coldness.  Yes, it was quite delish.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>packing</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/460560</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 16 May 2008 13:15:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/460560</guid>
		<description>I have been helping Mom pack all day for the separate camping experiences.  Dad and Little Lad to th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been helping Mom pack all day for the separate camping experiences.  Dad and Little Lad to the Indian Guides and Middle Lad to Boy Scouts.  I have movies and walks planned for Mom and Oldest Lad for all weekend.  

I sat with Mom and helped her with that Most Famous Right of Passage for Little Lad:  Having all his clothes labelled.  Middle Lad has been camping enough that he scarcely owns a sock without his name upon it.  Mom neatly penned our last name upon each pair of Hanes.  She didn't do Dad's.  She knows he can't keep track of his possessions either, but I think if his Hanes end up on the "lost possession" table Mom would die of embarassment, not even being there, just thinking about it.  She would just rather they went un-claimed, un-named, and buy him new ones.

Mom:  "Pennie! Why is the top of Middle Lad's boot chewed off?"

Pennie, looks around, to no place in particular:  "I don't know.  Perhaps he is teething?"

Mom:  "Pennie, it's supposed to rain all weekend.  Now he is going to leak."

Pennie:  "Well, that will teach him not to chew on his boot."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Petrified Beast</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/460459</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 16 May 2008 08:24:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/460459</guid>
		<description>I found a petrified American Alligator in the side garden.  It appeared last week out of the fresh b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I found a petrified American Alligator in the side garden.  It appeared last week out of the fresh bag of mulch Dad put down.  I thought the mulch was local, but it must have been imported from the South.  That's what we get for ordering mulch from the Band Boosters, I suppose.  Anyway, only the head, middle, and tail were there, neatly lined up to actually make it LOOK like a real American Alligator peeking out of the garden plot.  Like rodents, this invader must be dispensed with immediately.  I have begun to dig it up.  It is quite hard, almost like crockery.  I guess that is what happens to alligators when they decompose.  Still, I have saved the family from certain death from this savage beast.

Mom:  "Uh, Pennie, that was the garden alligator.  Your predecessor Tyler ripped out all the flowers in that garden within two days of his arrival.  I gave up and put the alligator there.  Now you are ripping out the alligator.  I guess it matches the Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Box you dragged out into the yard to play with.  And the Two Liter Diet Coke Bottle."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>On their Own</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/459845</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 May 2008 12:26:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/459845</guid>
		<description>Dad is going camping with Little Lad this weekend.  He refuses to take me.  Yes, even though I, as P ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad is going camping with Little Lad this weekend.  He refuses to take me.  Yes, even though I, as Personal Hygeine Pennie, would be the Perfect Camping Cleaner.  Little Lad, as his brothers who have gone, so to speak before, has yet to outgrow his habit of failing to be nighttime housebroken.   Little Lad wears a disposable pull-up but this sometimes does not hold it all.   Mom and Dad were just talking about the allocation of sleeping bags, for it turns out Middle Lad is also camping this weekend on a separate outing with the Boy Scouts.  Mom asked how many Bags Dad planned to take for Little Lad.  Dad rolled his eyes.
My Personal Hygeine Pennie Perfect Suggestion is simply to take me along.  After the first night I can set my self to cleaning Little Lad's bag.  I can clean all morning and by night it shall be dry, and completely refreshed.
Unfortunately Dad won't go for this option.  He discussed wrapping Little Lad in cellophane.  Mom asked if there were perhaps disposable sleeping bag liners designed for this perhaps.  Dad said perhaps he would take ALL the sleeping bags we own, except for the one that Middle Lad will be using.  
Unless I can sneak my way into a camp duffel it appears I shall be stuck at home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Never satisfied</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/459482</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 13 May 2008 11:06:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/459482</guid>
		<description>Mom is never satisfied.  I have been ridding the yard of all things Rodentia.  Moles.  Mice.  Chipmu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom is never satisfied.  I have been ridding the yard of all things Rodentia.  Moles.  Mice.  Chipmunks.  The squirrels run as soon as they hear the back door hinges.

Today Mom was loading the dishwasher and glancing out the kitchen window.  Her attention was caught by the sight of a bee.  This bee was the size of a C130.  At first Mom thought that surely an Insect Natural Disaster had occured and surely this Bee was delivering Relief Supplies; that's how large this bee was.  Mom kept watching.  Then she saw this C130 Bee land on the side of the back porch and disappear.  It was followed by the tell-tale landing dust.  Yes.  It was the dreaded Borer Bee.  Each Spring new holes appear in the sides of the back porch as we get the annual landing of these Air Craft.  No they don't bring Aid Supplies.  They bring Wanton Destruction to all wood surfaces.  Then they give birth to little Borer Bees.  Oh yes the little bees are cute as they emerge from their holes and begin their practice flights.  Yet they are harbingers of death to the structural integrity of our porch.  Only, Me, Pennie, can bring destruction to the porch (think back to the self-created Doggie Door 2007.)

Mom:  "Ah, Pennie, there is a Borer Bee out there.  Why haven't you dealt with it?"

How am I supposed to take care of a Borer Bee?  I am sorry, but I can not leap 12 feet in the air.  My specialty is the ground.  Mom seemed satisfied in taking Oldest Lad to a Knee Specialist for his torn ACL.  For taxes, Mom and Dad took their financials to an accountant specializing in taxes.  Middle Lad sees an allergist specializing in food allergies for his peanut allergy.  Dad takes his old cars to a mechanic who specializes in old cars.

Yet my speciality is not considered good enough?  Now I must fight off flying C130 Borer Bees as well?  The woman is never satisfied.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ah, Pennie</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/458362</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 May 2008 13:46:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/458362</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Ah, Pennie.&quot;
Pennie:  &quot;Yes, Mumzie?&quot;
Mom:  &quot;If you must eat a chipmunk; could you please de ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Ah, Pennie."
Pennie:  "Yes, Mumzie?"
Mom:  "If you must eat a chipmunk; could you please deficate in the yard and not on the front porch?"
Pennie:  "Why ever for Mumzie?"
Mom:  "Because seeing the visible remains is just not, well, it just sort of turns my stomach a bit.  Besides, have you considered that if you eat a lot of  the moles and chipmunks and mice just this Spring, that the remainders might move to other yards, and then our yard will be empty and boring?"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The poor maple trees</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/457277</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 7 May 2008 09:48:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/457277</guid>
		<description>I have three maple trees in my yard.  Right now my yard and driveway are covered in helicopters.  Wh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have three maple trees in my yard.  Right now my yard and driveway are covered in helicopters.  What I don't understand is if the maple trees produce so many helicopters, why don't the trees fly away?  They must be very frustrated.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Lady</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/456582</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 May 2008 12:48:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/456582</guid>
		<description>Mom:  &quot;Pennie, why did Dad find one of the  serving spoons from the silverware drawer in the back ya ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom:  "Pennie, why did Dad find one of the  serving spoons from the silverware drawer in the back yard?"

Pennie:  "I was having a serving of Moles.  I am a proper Lady after all, and must use the proper utensils to dine."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>If you don't hear from us . . .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/455945</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 3 May 2008 16:47:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/455945</guid>
		<description>I am getting a little worried.  Mom has been cleaning out the storeroom with a vengeance.  If you do ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am getting a little worried.  Mom has been cleaning out the storeroom with a vengeance.  If you don't hear from Mulligan and I for a while, please check up.  We may have been neatly sealed in a labeled rubbermaid bin.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Willy-Nilly Dog</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/455169</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 1 May 2008 12:28:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/455169</guid>
		<description>This morning there was a Major Incursion into MY YARD.  My yard is set up in two zones:  Front Yard  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning there was a Major Incursion into MY YARD.  My yard is set up in two zones:  Front Yard and Back Yard.  A Dog may not cross from the Back Yard to the Front Yard or Front to Back or ZAAAAP!

Mulligan and I were in the Back Yard.  Suddenly a Huge Husky Shepherd attached to a scrawny boy ran completely across MY ENTIRE YARD into the BACK YARD.  That is a Major Breach of Etiquette.  A Major Incursion.  Mulligan and I were NOT happy.  This Husky Shepherd didn't even ring the doorbell for Dog's sake.  Fur flew.  Teeth snapped.  Exhibiting amazing bravery in the face of flashing teeth, Middle Lad had the presence of mind to shove Mulligan inside the house.

Dad had a "Little Talk" with the owner of the Husky Shepherd.  The poor dog was just Willy Nilly adopted by someone who has no clue about dogs.  Dad asked if she had any idea about the proper way to "introduce" dogs.  Dad's question met a blank stare; not from the dog, who seemed sharp enough, mind you, but from the owner.  Then Dad mentioned that such an active dog would surely need a "lot of walking, probably every day."  That comment made the owner blanch.  She mumbled something about the dog being a bit more active than she had hope but that she was not overly fond of walking.  Then Dad asked about "containment."  Unfortunately the owner she had not even thought about that.

I am glad that I am not a Willy Nilly dog.  Perhaps I am not the Treasure that Mom and the rest of the family expected, but at least they have a clue.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pick Up Service</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/454789</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:29:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/454789</guid>
		<description>While Mom was walking me she came across a man who was cleaning up a neighbor's yard.  She made an e ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ While Mom was walking me she came across a man who was cleaning up a neighbor's yard.  She made an enquiry and got a business card.  She came home and mentioned this to Dad.  Dad immediately said: "No."  He is quite happy with the current Poop Pick Up service and the rate he pays that service.  That service being Mom, and said rate being "free."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>GTA Liberty City</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/454691</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:14:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/454691</guid>
		<description>Grand Theft Auto Four is not meant for any Dog's Eyes!  Oldest Lad played it yesterday, in his video ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Grand Theft Auto Four is not meant for any Dog's Eyes!  Oldest Lad played it yesterday, in his video chair, of course, with the speakers on so loud the whole house was vibrating all the way from the basement.  I was fearing for my life.  Oldest Lad was driving drunk.  Yes, he is sure to get pulled over for a felony!  Then he went into an apartment and did unspeakable things with a woman!  I give it a four paws DOWN plus a XXX rating for unspeakable activity and sound effects that may harm a sensitive dog's ears.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Other Woman, part Two</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/452051</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Apr 2008 19:00:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/452051</guid>
		<description>I just couldn't have planned this better myself.  Oldest Lad went off to the woods of Tennessee and  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just couldn't have planned this better myself.  Oldest Lad went off to the woods of Tennessee and was galivanting with some hussy named Ivy.  He was supposed to be helping a friend with an Eagle Scout project, likely story.  Not only was he two-timing me with this Ivy woman, but he was two timing his Prom-date.

This Saturday is Prom.  Well, this posionous Ivy woman gave the lad a nasty, itchy, leaky rash.  First it was just on his legs and arms.  Now it has spread to his face and neck.  Just in time to make him look quite lovely for his Prom date.  He went to the doctor but that Ivy is a strong lady and the doctor doesn't know how much effect the medicine will have by Saturday.

Hah, teach that lad to one: go to Tennessee without me and two: to go to Prom with some other Chickie.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Other Woman</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451905</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:15:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451905</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad went to Tennessee over the weekend to help a friend with his Eagle Scout project.  It was ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad went to Tennessee over the weekend to help a friend with his Eagle Scout project.  It was supposed to be male only.  Installing Duck Boxes near Norris Lake.  Hmph.  Oldest Lad ran into some woman named Ivy.  Boy she got him good.  He is all rashy and itchy.  Shows him he shouldn't go galivanting off with another woman, but stay home with me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>My plan for the back yard</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451580</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:57:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451580</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad always get irritated at me for bringing things out into the back yard.  Oh, just this we ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad always get irritated at me for bringing things out into the back yard.  Oh, just this weekend Mom has been creating prodigious amounts of trash as she cleans out the storeroom, the linen closet, and does other Spring Cleaning. "Let's all make sure we keep the garage door closed so that Pennie doesn't drag all this trash out into the back yard before Garbage Night."

Hmph.  As if it isn't all part of my Master Plan.  Our house and subdivision used to have a farm behind it.  With pre-hamburgers walking around on it.  Unfortunately, a large amount of acreage sitting smack dab in the middle of a filled up Township didn't stand a chance once the owners passed to their great reward, may their souls rest in peace.  I am fine with progress and all, but the houses behind us are not just "out of our league," but it is the "height" that bothers me.  The new house directly behind us is a two story home, but it towers above us as if it is a sky scraper. From my top floor I stare into the ground floor.  And believe me I stare because the house sits unsold with all the lights on.  Who ever buys the house will get their first electric bill for $8754.39 and think they forgot to put in insulation.

Back to my plan.  Along my back half-acre of much less-mortgaged suburbia than those potential owners; is a thicket of honeysuckle.  Who owns this thicket depends on who in the middle of the night keeps moving the property stakes back.  Not that I know anybody who would ever do that.  The goal is to keep that thicket.  It is a natural privacy fence.  It is natural shade.  OK, I know it is not technically natural, it was brought from Japan and took over as an invader.

My plan is that the more trash in the backyard; the less likely the thicket will ever get cut down.  Who wants to mortgage themselves to almost a $1million of brick and large windows to look down onto trash?  Yep, I am working on dragging one of Dad's convertibles that never run out into the yard next.  Figure I can get a rusted old car into the yard and between Mulli and I we can get hoist it up onto cinder blocks.  Privacy will be ours.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Australian Toys</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451184</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Apr 2008 09:41:25 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/451184</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad:  &quot;Hey, let's get a Boomerang!&quot;

Middle Lad and Little Lad, together:  &quot;Yeah!  Let's ge ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad:  "Hey, let's get a Boomerang!"

Middle Lad and Little Lad, together:  "Yeah!  Let's get a boomerang!"

Pennie:  "Yeah!  That's sounds like fun!  I have no idea what a boomerang is but I love toys!  Especially toys that get thrown and I can chase!"

Mom:  "No.  Absolutely not.  No Boomerang."

Lads:  "Awwwww.  That's not fair.  Why can't we get a boomerang."

Oldest Lad:  "Pennie would LOVE a boomerang."  He knows that using the 'dogs will love' it ploy usually works.

Mom:  "No.  Your Uncle Charlie had a boomerang.  He threw it and it came back and smacked me right in the side of the head."

Oldest Lad:  "Well gee Mom, why were you standing right next to him."

Mom rolls her eyes:  "I wasn't stupid.  I was standing a good 200 yards away from him.  I knew it was supposed to return to him.  He told me and your Uncle Tom to stand far away from him.  Problem was Uncle Charlie wasn't real good with that boomerang.  He threw it really hard.  Remember he is nine years older than me.  He threw it and intended for it to come back to him.  Only it didn't.  It came back to me.  My head to be exact.  So NO boomerang."

Oldest Lad:  "Well why weren't you watching."

Mom:  "I was watching.  Have you ever seen how fast a boomerang flies?  And I was probably only seven years old.  Just forget it.  No matter what I say you always turn it around so it's my fault."

Oldest Lad:  "Mom, you have issues."

Mom:  "Well maybe after growing up with four older brothers I just live in a universe where a boomerang will suddenly fly out of nowhere and hit me in the head.  Besides, what if you hit Pennie in the head with the boomerang?"

Pennie begins to think that perhaps with three lads, all older than her,  and Mulligan to boot perhaps she should side with Mom and forget the Australian toy after all.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>It Got ME!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/450189</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 17 Apr 2008 11:48:19 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/450189</guid>
		<description>I was walking by Mom's desk and her Mouse reached out and wrapped itself around my neck!  It wouldn' ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was walking by Mom's desk and her Mouse reached out and wrapped itself around my neck!  It wouldn't let go!

Mom laughed and said I really did deserve it, for the Mice I eat, but she unwrapped me anyway.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Recycling</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/449335</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Apr 2008 10:34:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/449335</guid>
		<description>Mom: &quot;Pennie, dear, you wouldn't by any chance know why a bag of recycling made it's way into the ba ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom: "Pennie, dear, you wouldn't by any chance know why a bag of recycling made it's way into the back yard, now do you?"

Pennie: " Oh NO! Mumzie, dear!  Middle Lad must have accidentally put it there instead of by the curb last night.  You know how that ADD can be."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Of Mice and Moles</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448694</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:20:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448694</guid>
		<description>I have decided that following the great path of combatants before me I would like to have a Mouse or ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have decided that following the great path of combatants before me I would like to have a Mouse or a Mole painted on my side each time that I catch and consume one.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I could have dispensed with the situation out of paw.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448637</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:57:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448637</guid>
		<description>Dad took Middle Lad and Little Lad to Cleveland this weekend to visit Grandma.  I was not allowed to ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad took Middle Lad and Little Lad to Cleveland this weekend to visit Grandma.  I was not allowed to go.  I wanted to go.  I am sure I would have enjoyed myself in the Corn Beef Capital of Ohio.  I was banned because there is a CAT.  With pencity to consume mice, it was deemed that perhaps it was best to err on the side of caution and leave me at home.

Middle Lad is allergic to Cats.  He and Dad spent the night at a hotel to let the Lad's lungs, nose and skin have an allergy break, while Little Lad slept at Grandma's.

OK, first thing.  I could have saved the hotel bill.

On Friday Mom had neatly packed Middle Lad and Little Lad's items together in one bag, unaware of their separate housing arrangements.  The outfits were stacked, rolled and only a MAN could not link them with the intended wearer.

It's not as if Little Lad was singing around Salzburg, I mean Cleveland all of today in Curtains, but when he came home to Mom, it turns out he was prancing about Cleveland all of today in the Oldest Lad's Pajamas.

If I could only have gone, then I would simply have dispensed with the CAT, and then the family could all have slept together (albeit in the same dog house), allergy-free, in their OWN clothes, neatly packed by MOM.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Maybe I like the smell</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448147</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 Apr 2008 08:42:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/448147</guid>
		<description>Mom has a very sensitive nose.  It is apparently a female-thing.  Like when the furnace was going sh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom has a very sensitive nose.  It is apparently a female-thing.  Like when the furnace was going she smelled gas.  Dad didn't smell it.  Sure enough when the gas company came the meter went off like lightening.  The Gas Company Person said that when a female calls the gas company they always take the call seriously.

Nothing gets Dad evicted from the bed faster than eating lunch at his favorite Chinese restaurant.  No sooner than he walks in the house than Mom can tell what he had for lunch.  Dad spends the night on the couch.

Mom doesn't like Poop Breath either.  I like Poop Breath.  I am a Female.  Why doesn't Mom like Poop Breath, being a female, too?

I suppose I should feel better that at least Mom is fair.  If I have Poop for lunch, no sleeping with Mom.  Dad has something like Chinese for lunch, no sleeping with Mom.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Pennie Games</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/447499</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 10 Apr 2008 15:57:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/447499</guid>
		<description>If left to my own devices I like to get into things.  Usually I stalk Oldest Lad, Mom or Dad.  When  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ If left to my own devices I like to get into things.  Usually I stalk Oldest Lad, Mom or Dad.  When I go outside, I can't stalk them so I must find other ways to entertain myself.  I like to play:  Drag things out into the yard and keep Mom guessing.

The family has some view of the backyard from inside the house.  The kitchen has a small window.  The Boy's office has a larger bay window.  Then there are the patio doors, but that view is hampered by the screened back deck.

My best was the garage mats.  I dragged those out and played with those for about two weeks.  Mom thought Dad took them out for cleaning.  Dad thought Mom took them out for some reason.  It wasn't until they finally got together and discovered the chewed off corners that they realized that I had dragged them out and was playing with them.

One morning Mom left the golf umbrella in the garage to dry off after escorting the lads to the bus under it's protective cover.  Dad found me later in the day running about the yard doing my own version of "Singin' in the Rain!"  The umbrella still works, with a few leaky spots.

Our house sits at a stop sign, which most people ignore, but the people that do slow down, naturally look over at our house.  Mom and Dad know this, because sometimes people make comments about our Christmas lights, the Boy Scout trailer we had parked in our driveway for several weeks, etc.  This makes Mom (not anyone else) self-conscious.  I LOVE to drag trash bags out of the garage and dismember them.  Pull-ups, dixie cups, feminine products, empty 2-liter bottles, empty milk jugs, oh I just love to strew those items about the yard.

Mom looked out one day and saw a large yellow flat object.  She looked all day and couldn't figure it out.  Finally, when she retrieved it, she discovered that I had fished Little Lad's inflatable inner tube sled off it's high perch, drug it out, played with it, popped it of course with my teeth, and then let it rest.

I can be quite entertaining to myself.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Will this never end?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/445768</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 6 Apr 2008 14:38:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/445768</guid>
		<description>Nubby Puppy, Rajah, and Pongo, and perhaps others, who I hope I have not forgotten, came up with the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Nubby Puppy, Rajah, and Pongo, and perhaps others, who I hope I have not forgotten, came up with the brilliant idea of the Loo-vre Museum dedicated to canine poop.  Then Pongo realized that archeologist's will someday discover Pongo feces, and wonder what sort of breed a Pongo was.

Anyway, upon this thread, I was thinking about landfills, and poop, and what exactly Mom does with my poop and Mulligan's poop.  Mom is very careful how she packages it.  Usually on walks she uses small bags meant for diapers as she claims they "leak" the least and hold odor the best.  When cleaning the yard, however, she often takes two plastic grocery or store bags and places them in a bucket.  Then she uses the scooper to drop the treasures into the lined bucket.  At the end she neatly double ties it and places it in the trash.  Mom knows she is not the only one who uses extra plastic bags for dog poop; she routinely sees neighbors walking with their dogs and using these bags as well.

What this brings to mind is this:  What will Archeologists, 100, 200, 386, years from now think when they are unlayering the great Rumpke landfill and discover all the plastic bags of dog poop?  Bags of CVS dog poop.  Walgreens dog poop.  Kroger dog poop.  Target dog poop.  Macy's dog poop. (Yes, even Macy's dog poop.)  The list goes on.  

Advocates of recycling make it quite clear to all of us that plastic bags last forever in the landfill.  Which leads one to believe that those Archeologists may be led to believe that our society actually went to those stores to BUY dog poop.  Now there are certain stores from which Mom never uses the bags for dog poop.  For example:  The Gap.  The Gap has a really nice quality plastic bag that Mom always saves and uses for packing shoes in the suitcase when traveling.  But Macy's, Walgreens, etc; perhaps all those stores with "cheap" plastic bags should start thinking ahead.  Do they want Archeologists finding their bags filled with Dog Poop or with something "better," like a pair of shoes?

Please don't tell Mulligan that Mom throws away all his Poop.  He thinks that she is neatly packaging and saving it in the attic.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Criminal Intent</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/444895</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 Apr 2008 08:05:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/444895</guid>
		<description>I am a Stalker.  When Oldest Lad is home, I stalk him.  As soon as I hear his truck, I rush to the d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am a Stalker.  When Oldest Lad is home, I stalk him.  As soon as I hear his truck, I rush to the door and greet him.  Then I follow him.  Relentlessly.  I sleep between his legs.  When he gets up from a chair, I stand up.  When he sits down, I try to be as near him as possible.

When Oldest Lad is not home, I stalk Mom.  All day long, I go up and down stairs.  When goes to the bathroom and shuts the door, I put one white paw under the door; just so she knows that I am there for her, if she needs my help.  When she showers, I look in through the glass shower door, so she knows I am watching.

As a last resort, if Oldest Lad and Mom are not home, I stalk Dad.  I lay on the futon in the basement where I can watch him while he works at his desk.  If he goes upstairs for coffee, I follow him.  If he goes outside to his personal garage; I follow.

If I am home alone, I am crated.  I sleep or ponder my obsessions.  Is that how I will end up someday?  Crated permanently?  Is that what happens to Stalkers?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cannot Insult a Girl this Way</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/443858</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Apr 2008 10:14:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/443858</guid>
		<description>I am still feeling rather out of sorts after watching &quot;Eight Below.&quot;  It brought back so many feelin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am still feeling rather out of sorts after watching "Eight Below."  It brought back so many feelings of abandonment for me.  Then I started thinking about all the other horrible Disney movies.  Well, one just need read my previous diary entry.  Then Saturday night the family watched "Letters from Iwo Jima."  At least this was not meant as "Entertainment,"as such, and certainly not billed for children, but was meant as a meaningful lesson and interpretation of war from a different view point.  Still, I did not watch, but sat with Oldest Lad with my body facing AWAY from the TV.

Well, last night was Mom's birthday.  In celebration a beautiful gold chain was placed about my neck with a heart pendant hanging from it.  I was carried, yes, carried, over to Mom for her to view how lovely I looked with MY New Golden Necklace.  Obviously, the gift to Mom was ME, made even more gorgeous with my new adornment.

Imagine my surprise to discover that the necklace was really for MOM!  I was just trying it on and wearing it as a box, a gift bag so to speak.  One cannot do that to a Lady!  I want my necklace back!  I am no Gift Bag!  One cannot stuff some tissue paper around me and expect me to prance around and give up my Bling!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Scarred for Life</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/442100</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:41:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/442100</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad scarred me for life today.  Mom was already scarred.  Oldest Lad coyly lured me onto his  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad scarred me for life today.  Mom was already scarred.  Oldest Lad coyly lured me onto his lap to watch "Eight Below."  Oh it seems innocent enough.  Like all Disney movies, it lures one in as a "heart-warming" story of a man forced to leave his team of sled -dogs in the Antartic.

Of course, like all Disney Movies, in reality it is all about emotionally scarring the innocent viewers, especially any children, dogs, or women who should perchance to watch the show.

Bambi.  Mom is quite sure that no one who was a child that saw the original release of Bambi has bought the DVD for their own children because like her, they still have nightmares of the scene of Bambi's mother being shot.

Snow White.  Mother Dead.  Evil Step Mother.

Alladin.  Alladin an orphan.  Princess Jasmine's Mother Dead.

Beauty and the Beast.  Mother dead.

Lion King.  Father dies, child responsible for his death.

Hundred and One Dalmations.  Dogs kidnapped by Evil Woman.

Pocahantas.  Mother Dead.


At least "Eight Below" did vary from the usual Disney theme of hatred of Motherhood and females.  I supposed Disney decided just to scar children with the theme of abandonment instead.  I supposed I am supposed to feel better that three quarters of the dogs survived, but now much counseling are they going to need to continue with healthy, productive lives?

Pupdate:  Kirby sent me a pmail reminding me of another Disney Classic set to Terrorize:  "Old Yeller."  Sure enough Mom remembered being forced to watch that in school, no less, and she practically went into hysterics just in the terror of the memory, after all these years.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Cantaloupe Recall</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/441586</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:42:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/441586</guid>
		<description>Oh dear, there is a Cantaloupe Recall.  I am quite certain this is all due to the high price of gaso ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh dear, there is a Cantaloupe Recall.  I am quite certain this is all due to the high price of gasoline.  The wedding industry must be finding that too many couples can not afford to an extragant wedding and simply must follow the bride's parents wishes after all and settle for a hardward store wedding.  Really, a sturdy fiberglass or aluminum ladder can last a lifetime and be used indoors and out.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Getting even in a neighborhood</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/440818</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 24 Mar 2008 13:46:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/440818</guid>
		<description>It appears that some neighbors are easier to live neighborly near to than others.  Mom and Dad have  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It appears that some neighbors are easier to live neighborly near to than others.  Mom and Dad have a philosophy not to complain too much about the neighbors because 1.  having social services visit a neighbor might come at an time when it would be best for US not to have social services in the general area.  2.  heavens only knows what WE do to annoy the neighbors.  3.  if neighbors bother you that much then go live where you don't have any neighbors.

That being said, there is a certain family that was quite prolific in producing male offspring in a short period of time.  Four fine strapping lads.  One might observe that Mom produced three, ah, lads.  However, they were not produced in a short amount of time and well, while those fine strapping neighbor lads are leading the High School Football team to the Championship, there IS always a need for musicians to play "Hang On Sloopy" to cheer them on.  And while the fine strapping lads are breaking yet another school basketball record, there is always a need for a lad with perfect pitch to sing the part in the school play.

Anyway, the house with fine four strapping lads creates a rather loud noise level.  Two dogs live there as well.  The dogs have learned to add their voices to the decibel level.  It is noise in full surround sound as the house sits on a corner lot which has been completely fenced, front, side and back.

I find it not coincidental that the neighbors to the immediate right have not moved, but have now adopted a dog with a very loud bark.  I would not have been surprized if they outright moved, but they lived in their house first, and completely renovated it.

I think they are finding a way to get EVEN.  I don't know what the rest of the neighbors are going to do when the barking contests start full force.  Other than go directly from heat to air conditioning.  We already do that because Mom and Middle Lad have allergies.  Oh, and not wanting Social Services to drop by unexpectedly.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>To Pound or not to Pound?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/439281</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:12:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/439281</guid>
		<description>Really, what does cause some of us to end up in the pound and others not?

I am quite disturbed ov ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Really, what does cause some of us to end up in the pound and others not?

I am quite disturbed over the plight of Bodhi.  He is quite the Pooper.

I poop a lot.  Sometimes I eat it.  Or I eat Mulligan's.  It is not unusual for me to go four or five times a day.  And these are not small, token items.  Mom cleans the yard up a lot.

Is that why I was abandoned to the "Kill Shelter?"  I don't know.  Fortunately, I ended up rescued by a "No Kill Shelter" and found my way to my current family who looks past my pooping and although they obsess on many of my other faults, so far even removing part of Mulligan's ear has not been enough to evict me.

Mulligan was found as a stray, emaciated and sick.  He was adopted and ate a couch.  He was evicted.  Then Mom adopted him.  Mulligan has not eaten a couch, but just read his diary and one can infer that he is not a model canine citizen.
Mom's very first dog, Samson, ate off the back of her first couch.  And sixty feet of baseboard.  And a Bible.  And several pairs of shoes.  He was not evicted.
I am very sad today.  Not just for Bodhi, but for all the dogs who have some little habit.  As if the humans don't have any bad habits either.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I can't believe it's not butter!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438959</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:36:25 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438959</guid>
		<description>Mom was doing some vacuuming.  She perchanced to walk back into the kitchen.  Hmm.  The counter look ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom was doing some vacuuming.  She perchanced to walk back into the kitchen.  Hmm.  The counter looked a little different.  Two cookbooks.  Oh, the carton containing four sticks of margarine was missing.  She was quite confidant she had put some margarine out to warm up.  She went into the Lad's office.  There was the carton on the floor.  A big whole eaten into the center.  About an ice cream scoop's worth of margarine gone.  Me, Pennie, sticking my tongue out about every two seconds.  It didn't take Mom long to figure out that I was suffering from "Oil Slick Tongue."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fessing up.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438515</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 18 Mar 2008 09:44:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438515</guid>
		<description>OK, if I have to start fessing up to what I am afraid of.  As I said in my earlier post I LOVE the L ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ OK, if I have to start fessing up to what I am afraid of.  As I said in my earlier post I LOVE the Leaf Blower.  I am Afraid of Mom's Hair Dryer.

I am afraid of the Nordic Track.  Mom said she was done with the Nordic Track.  She has said this before.  The Nordic Track has been in the family for 12 years; since when the Middle Lad was all colicky and Mom needed something to work off a little frustration.  And the chocolate that she and Dad were consuming in great quantities to survive the 3 hours of nightly crying.

Mom said she was done with the Nordic Track and then one morning she just got upon those two slats of wood and started moving her legs in an absolutely ridiculous fashion that no dog would ever do.

What is the point of the Nordic Track?  Mom is clearly not going anywhere.  There is no snow in the basement.  There is no lovely scenery.  Just vintage '70s paneling to look at.

When I approach Mom on the Nordic Track, I get whacked in the legs by the slats of wood.  It makes a lot of noise and disturbs my nap.

If Mom is so intent on exercise why doesn't she just take me for a long walk?  Oh yeah, it's raining outside.  Really hard rain.

Plus, I am just afraid of it.  I bark at Mom while she uses it.  The barks echo in the basement.  Mom gets annoyed but she won't stop.  She says despite the rain, despite the 12 inches of snow we got just 10 days ago, soon she will have to wear shorts.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fears</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438004</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Mar 2008 08:03:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/438004</guid>
		<description>Maxwell was dog enough to come forward with some of his fears.  I LOVE the Leaf Blower.  Deathly afr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Maxwell was dog enough to come forward with some of his fears.  I LOVE the Leaf Blower.  Deathly afraid of Mom's Hair Dryer.  Is there a discord here?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Who am I supposed to be?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/436639</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 13 Mar 2008 08:56:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/436639</guid>
		<description>Usually I am Pennie.  But now I am Elvis.  A lot of dogs are now Elvis.  Some are switching over and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Usually I am Pennie.  But now I am Elvis.  A lot of dogs are now Elvis.  Some are switching over and becoming Gordon.  Mom is going through boxes.  Some of Oldest Lads clothes are become Middle Lad's.  Some of Middle Lad's clothes are becoming Little Lad's.  Mom went through Little Lad's drawers and some of his things are going to a Pregnancy Care Center.  And just last August I was another dog before I was adopted at the shelter.

Am I supposed to be morphing again?  I am going to put my Paw down if I have to become Mulligan.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Gerbil Sitting</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/436278</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:22:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/436278</guid>
		<description>Setting:  School Office, Mom and Dad finish a meeting and run into a neighbor.

Neighbor:  &quot;Are yo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Setting:  School Office, Mom and Dad finish a meeting and run into a neighbor.

Neighbor:  "Are you going to be in town over Spring Break?"

Dad:  "Yes, we are."

Neighbor:  "Would Middle Lad by any chance be interested in babysitting our Three Gerbils?"

Mom immediately turns pale.  This neighbor is new to the 'hood and doesn't know Mom's reputation for pet sitting.

Dad, without thinking:  "He probably could."

Mom turns paler, and starts to shake.  She thinks of the dog who ran away over and over and over until it was hit by a motorcycle when she was dog sitting.  The dog recovered and was everyone agreed was much nicer after that.  She thinks of the dog that died while she was dog sitting.  Now granted, that dog just happened to decide to die of old age under Mom's watch, but still.

Mom starts to sweat.  Mom starts to have visions of me, Pennie, walking around the house, wagging my tail, with a Gerbil Tail sticking out of my clenched mouth.

Mom blurts out:  "No, I REALLY don't think that Gerbil sitting would be a good idea.  Pennie has been eating mice in the back yard.  Your boys would probably be a bit upset if they came home from vacation and their gerbils had been eaten."

Neighbor turns pale.  "I think maybe I should find someone else."]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Just plain rude.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/433623</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 5 Mar 2008 08:09:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/433623</guid>
		<description>Why does Mom put bleach in the toilet bowl to clean it?  I don't put bleach in the refrigerator wate ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Why does Mom put bleach in the toilet bowl to clean it?  I don't put bleach in the refrigerator water filter to ruin her water do I?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Doctors can be SOOOO Insulting.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/432794</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 3 Mar 2008 10:58:52 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/432794</guid>
		<description>The Oldest Lad went back to the Doctor today for his post operative appointment for his ACL knee sur ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Oldest Lad went back to the Doctor today for his post operative appointment for his ACL knee surgery.  The brace and all wrappings were removed from the leg to examine the leg.  The doctor examined Oldest Lad's leg brace and commented from the presence of hair that the lad obviously had a pet at home, either a dog or a cat.

Insult ONE.  A cat indeed.  Obviously the Oldest Lad has a very competent DOG Nurse at home caring for him.

Then the Doctor had the gall to inform the lad that I, Pennie, the Knee Nurse, must be prevented from licking the Oldest Lad's leg.  I might pass bacteria on to his now unwrapped knee and infect the incisions.  Some comment was made that I would simply be following my instincts to care for the wound but I must be prevented from doing so.

Insult TWO.  I, Pennie, the Certified Knee Nurse, would clean the Oldest Lad with a Dirty Mouth?  Who does that doctor think he is to PRESUME that I have a Dirty Mouth?

That is all the thanks I get for being at the Oldest Lad's side day and night since Thursday when he returned from the hospital.  I'll show that doctor a dirty mouth.  And some gleaming white teeth, too.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Extra Money for Shift Work?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/431346</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 28 Feb 2008 15:28:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/431346</guid>
		<description>I have donned my Nurse Uniform once again.  The Oldest Lad is recovering from his knee surgery.  At  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have donned my Nurse Uniform once again.  The Oldest Lad is recovering from his knee surgery.  At first I was quite suspicious of the large machine in the bed:  Continuous Passive Motion Machine.  His post-op leg is strapped into this machine and the machine sets to work bending and straightening it.  Once I realized it was not a Dog-Sized Mouse Trap and is indeed very Quiet I find I can nap with no problem. 

Then there is the Meditational Leg Ritual.  This involves giving thanks to the Leg Brace that the lad wears whenever he is NOT using the machine.  Mom unstraps the Brace and slides it away.  Then she carefully places one hand upon the Oldest Lad's thigh and one hand upon his calf.  She presses down while the lad straightens his leg.  She meditates for 10 seconds.  I can help in this too.  That's a perfect time for me to jump up on the bed onto the freshly post-surgical leg and offer my thanks to the knee brace as well.  I can tell this helps by the extra winces and grimaces on the Oldest Lad's face.  This Meditation Ritual is extremely important or the Leg Brace may get angry and allow the lad's leg to freeze in a Bent position.

Caring for the rest of the family.  Caregivers need care too.  Mom did not sleep well last night and then was up at 4;30 to get ready to go to the hospital.  I sat on her and then Mulligan sat on her and with the combined weight of us both on her airway she drifted off finally for a bit of a nap.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>An OUTRAGE</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/430619</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 26 Feb 2008 17:49:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/430619</guid>
		<description>Suddenly, my electronic fence has become more sensitive!  Ouch!  I even got shocked inside the house ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Suddenly, my electronic fence has become more sensitive!  Ouch!  I even got shocked inside the house, on the futon, where I can always go with no problem.
What is happening with my world?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Eviction Notice</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/429639</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 24 Feb 2008 10:45:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/429639</guid>
		<description>I am a dog.  I like being a dog.  Mulligan is a dog, but he thinks he is, oh who knows what he think ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am a dog.  I like being a dog.  Mulligan is a dog, but he thinks he is, oh who knows what he thinks he is, some kind of CEO.  Not that the world doesn't need CEOs but . . .

When I came upon the scene obviously Mulligan had not been doing his job.  He says he was.  I really don't see how.  There were squirrel condos everywhere.  Mole tracks all over the yard.  This half-acre of domain was covered in rodents.

Mulligan said that he had served the squirrels a full legal, notarized, signed and sealed eviction notice.  It was filed in the county court.  The squirrels did not leave.  Mulligan said he had done his job.  It was now up to his "staff" to take care of things.

I see a squirrel.  I chase a squrrrel.  The squrrel runs away.  It is fun.  I smile. 

Mulligan met with the moles and the moles stated that the property rights did not extend to a certain depth; as long as they stayed below a certain depth that was down into Mineral Rights and they had purchased Mineral Rights when the Subdivision was first formed in 1968.  Our family bought the property in 1998.  Mulligan clearly must see that the moles come up above that depth as one cannot walk in the yard without turning an ankle in a mole tunnel.  Again Mulligan views forcing the moles to stay within their contractual limits as below his CEO duties. 

Me?  I see those mole tunnels, I sniff out those moles.  I dig and dig and dig until I find those buggers.  Then I play with them.  Then I, well that is kind of a secret.

I like being a dog.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Give Me Back My Toy!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/428094</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:08:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/428094</guid>
		<description>Oh we had another few inches of the WHITE DEATH today.  Or in the Ohio Valley one would think it is  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh we had another few inches of the WHITE DEATH today.  Or in the Ohio Valley one would think it is the White Death the way people and Mulligan act.  I love it! 
I was outside and Mom peeked out the window at me.  I was happily doing what the family calls my "Paw Step" in the snow; which means I was dancing and playing.  But I wasn't by myself.  Hmm.  Yep.  There was a little creature doing the Paw Step with me.  Only Mom wasn't quite so sure that creature really WANTED to be doing the Paw Step.
All other members of the family are afraid of Mom.  Yet there was no way Mom was coming out to investigate.  (Well, she would have if there was no other recourse.)  She called Oldest Lad and he came outside.  I was playing with a Mouse.  Oldest Lad insisted that I give the Mouse the courtesy of deciding for itself whether or not it still wanted to play.  The Mouse decided it had enough of playing with me and ran off.
I was NOT happy with Oldest Lad as he force-marched me into the house.  I wanted my TOY back!  I found the mouse.  Finders Keepers!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fly So Fast</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/426827</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 17 Feb 2008 15:27:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/426827</guid>
		<description>The Oldest Lad's removal of all of his body hair was actually for a logical (so he tells me) reason, ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Oldest Lad's removal of all of his body hair was actually for a logical (so he tells me) reason, I was able to discover later.  It is a strange ritual of Swimmers to remove all their hair prior to their championship meets and then to shove their bodies into swim suits of the size meant for six year olds.  It apparently worked as the Oldest Lad was able to achieve his Life Time Best, after 10 years of swimming, in the 100 yard Fly at the District Meet.  

His 200 Free Relay team also fared quite well.  One of the team mates had never shoved his girth into a suit meant for a six year old.  Under directions from the team coach (a woman, so unable to enter the male locker room) the Oldest Lad brought one of his extra suits and simply informed this astonished team mate that indeed he was going to wiggle his fanny, thighs, and other parts into that tiny bit of lycra.

Alas, for my part, I don't know where to sleep.  Do I sleep on the Oldest Lad's Bald Head, to keep it warm?  Or do I sleep on his body, to keep the hairless mass from slipping out of the sheets onto the floor?

And what about the Doggy Paddle?  Well, quite frankly I am glad there was no Doggy Paddle Event.  All us canines are far to intelligent to shave off all our hair just so we can swim a bit faster.  Well maybe if there was raw meat involved.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I am all for cleanliness, but . . .</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/426022</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 15 Feb 2008 11:46:46 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/426022</guid>
		<description>What do I do if the whole place has gone off it's rockers?  OK, here's the rule:  Go to school unles ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ What do I do if the whole place has gone off it's rockers?  OK, here's the rule:  Go to school unless:  Throwing up.  Fever.  24 hours post either of those 2 events.  Severed limb.  No leaving school unless a valid excuse:  Doctor's visit.  Dentist visit.

Today Mom wrote a note so the Oldest Lad could come home early from school to remove all of his body hair.  She helped by shaving his back for him.  He wore a Speedo while she did that part.

Last night the Oldest lad shaved his head.  I didn't realize that was just the prelude to remove the rest.  What was wrong with his pelt?  Sure it wasn't as nice as mine, but other than the pool-water damage, it wasn't bad looking.

I didn't know what else to do, so while Oldest Lad was standing in the shower and Mom was shaving his back, I stood and licked his legs.  I tried to lick as vigorously as possible; after all he was interested in removing the hair, no need to be gentle.

Then the Lad kicked Mom and me out of the bathroom and he finished removing the rest of his hair himself.  Then he and I took a nap in his bed.  I laid firmly on top of him for fear that he would slide right out of the sheets.

I am all for cleanliness, but really, wouldn't a good shampoo do the trick?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Looks or Intelligence?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/425763</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 14 Feb 2008 18:21:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/425763</guid>
		<description>The classic question:  Looks or Intelligence?  Fortunately I am a dog and looks don't mean a great d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The classic question:  Looks or Intelligence?  Fortunately I am a dog and looks don't mean a great deal to mean.  My Valentine, the Oldest Lad, shaved his head today.  It feels rather gummy when licked.  His intelligence really is of more import anyway, for in the long run that is what will bring the kibble home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Lethal Combo</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/424664</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 09:36:57 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/424664</guid>
		<description>OK, this is a lethal combo, for MOM.
One Ice Day with the Lads home from school.

Two Dogs.

Th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ OK, this is a lethal combo, for MOM.
One Ice Day with the Lads home from school.

Two Dogs.

Throw into the mix the fact that Oldest Lad is "Resting" or "Tapering" for the end of the swim season.  What this means is that he has trained very hard all season.  Then all of a sudden at the end of the season his training subsides so that he is still swimming but not as much.  It is designed so that he will have the burst of speed that he needs at at the last swim meets that are the championships.

What is means to me (and MOM) is that there is a large, restless, overly-energetic teenager roaming the house with nothing to do but wind up the Two dogs and his two younger brothers.

Ah, it is glorious!  I have been leaping furniture, leaping Mulligan, and the general Mayhem is wondrous.  What shall I break next?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Fun Dip</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/423848</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 10 Feb 2008 12:30:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/423848</guid>
		<description>Mmmm.  Willy Wonka Fun Dip Candy.  Lots of fun.  Those green candy sprinkles and the wand.  Then the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mmmm.  Willy Wonka Fun Dip Candy.  Lots of fun.  Those green candy sprinkles and the wand.  Then the candysprinkles get ground into the carpet making a treat for later on, too!
Yum!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Diary Title</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/422952</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 8 Feb 2008 09:03:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/422952</guid>
		<description>I had to change my Diary Title.  It was Pennie Ante.  Seems the lads didn't know what an &quot;Ante.&quot; was ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I had to change my Diary Title.  It was Pennie Ante.  Seems the lads didn't know what an "Ante." was.  As in "Ante Up."  As in Poker, for Dogs sake.  I finally gave in.  Besides, Personal Hygeine Pennie fits me better as that is what I take care of around here.

This morning as Mom was in the bathroom going potty she noticed one white paw sticking under the door into the bathroom.  I am always ready to help out, if needed.

Mom:  "Ahem, Pennie.  I do have still one question.  Why is there a pair of my socks in the back yard?"

Pennie:  "Uh, I dunno, are you sure you didn't take them off back there?"]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A New Revolution</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/421730</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 5 Feb 2008 12:29:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/421730</guid>
		<description>I never thought it would happen!  Mom is always railing against the lads playing too many Video Game ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I never thought it would happen!  Mom is always railing against the lads playing too many Video Games.  Oh, they can play them, just limits, lad, within limits.  What was Mom doing today????
Seems the "DDR" craze has hit.  Little Lad just begged and begged Mom to play Dance Dance Revolution with him for XBox 360.  Oh to see Little Lad's Little Fanny wiggle around the step pad is a sight.  To see Mom's big fanny; well not so much.  Mom couldn't keep up with Little Lad so she had to practice on her own.  Then she discovered there is even a "Workout Mode."  Problem is she has to work through all the other "Modes" to get there first.  With her athletic skill my guess with daily practice she'll unlock those codes by June.
Yep, guess the Lads are going to have to do the old "Paybacks" to Mom and limit HER time on the video games.
Me?  I just watch from the couch.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hors d'oevre Bowl</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/421182</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 4 Feb 2008 08:34:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/421182</guid>
		<description>It may not have been the Super Bowl, but I did really well in the Hors d'oevre Bowl.  Mom had severa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It may not have been the Super Bowl, but I did really well in the Hors d'oevre Bowl.  Mom had several leftover appetizers.  Little morsels of bread with pepperoni and cheese baked in them.  She tossed them out into the back yard for me to catch.  I made great flying catches.  I ran at fantastic speeds.  I tackled Mulligan.  I didn't require a large salary.  I didn't get arrested for contributing to the dilinquency of minors.  I wasn't taking any steroids.  I didn't go out and part afterwards and get a DUI.  I was just happy to catch and eat my little balls of hors d'oevres.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Long Jump</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/419878</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 1 Feb 2008 06:13:30 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/419878</guid>
		<description>I think with the proper coaching Little Lad may be headed toward a career in the Long Jump.

He is ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I think with the proper coaching Little Lad may be headed toward a career in the Long Jump.

He is young and has not yet obtained any sense of modesty, not there is much around here with so many males; Mom seems to be the only one interested in the term.

After his shower he chose to scamper back to his room, completely naked, walking on his hands and his feet, which leaves to the imagination what body part was flying in the air.  I chose that moment, as Personal Hygeine Pennie, to Goose the Lad, exactly in the center of the Highest Point.  I do indeed have rather a cold, wet nose.

Wow, I never knew how far a 46 pound human could fly.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hair Scare!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418660</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 29 Jan 2008 08:14:35 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418660</guid>
		<description>Last night I was watching a &quot;Malcolm in the Middle&quot; rerun with Mulligan and Mom and Dad.  A STRANGE  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night I was watching a "Malcolm in the Middle" rerun with Mulligan and Mom and Dad.  A STRANGE MAN Walked Right Into Our House Through The Back Door.  Yes, I got up and barked at this Stranger ferociously.  Lazy A$$ Mulligan, just sat and WAGGED HIS TAIL and then Greeted this Stranger.

I ran over and Smelled this Stranger.  He smelled familiar.  I tasted him.  His skin tasted familiar.  He spoke.  He even sounded familiar.

It was Oldest Lad.

But Who Says Dogs are Color Blind?

Oldest Lad left the house with swim team hair.  It was a vague silvery color.  It used to be brown but over the course of the swim season it had turned a different color.  Women sit in salons and pay lots of money for that odd nameless shade.  Really all they have to do is swim for several hours each day.

When Oldest Lad came home last night his hair was Bleach Blond.  He did not look at all like MY Oldest Lad who had left just a few hours before.  I was quite nervous the rest of the night.

Why didn't Mulligan prepare me for this strange Swim Team ritual?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Way Is He Leaving Me for Some Woman!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418461</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Jan 2008 17:18:39 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418461</guid>
		<description>The setting:  Mom rubbed a large piece of skin off her finger as she was preparing dinner.  Oldest l ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The setting:  Mom rubbed a large piece of skin off her finger as she was preparing dinner.  Oldest lad was handy and under Mom's direction, finished preparing the meal:  Broccoli Cheese Rice Casserole with Chicken.

Pennie:  "Wow, Mulligan, isn't that amazing!  Oldest Lad can make a Roux and a Bechamel!"

Mulligan:  "Pennie!  You are so easily-amused!  Just stay out of the bathroom for Dogness sake."

Pennie rolls her eyes.  "You are such a male, Mulligan.  I mean a White Sauce.  Oldest Lad made a white sauce for the cheese sauce.  For the broccoli cheese chicken rice casserole.  The casserole we tried so hard to get our paws on."

Mulligan:  "So what's the deal?  Oldest Lad is a great cook.  Brownies, snickerdoodles, cake, chili, he can cook a lot of things.  Wait a minute  you DON"T GET IT, do you?"

Pennie, perking up her ears:  "Get what?"

Mulligan:  "That the Oldest Lad is going to make a great Wife some day.  I mean a great catch.  He can cook.  Some woman is going to snatch him up once she figures out he can cook.  And do laundry."

Pennie:  "OH NO!  No WOMAN is taking away MY OLDEST LAD.  He is MINE!  Good Cook or not.  Remember that chunk of ear I removed from you?  Well some woman who tries to take Oldest Lad from me is gonna lose a lot more than a piece of her ear."

Pennie stalks off to plot.  Mulligan continues to stare at the refrigerator in the hopes of some casserole.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Glad to be of service, Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418233</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Jan 2008 08:20:26 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/418233</guid>
		<description>On the back porch there is a hot tub that doesn't work.  It was here when the family moved in and it ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On the back porch there is a hot tub that doesn't work.  It was here when the family moved in and it dates back to the early 80s.  It worked for a while, but it isn't worth fixing anymore.  It takes up a lot of room on the back porch and is set down into the floor of the porch.

For my first remodeling project of the back porch, I installed my own doggie door.  This gives Mulli and I free entrance to the back porch where we can then see in to watch what is going on inside the house.  I sit on top the picnic table, my royal throne.  Mulligan paws at the sliding doors and howls "let me in!"

My second remodeling project is that I have been peeling away the vinyl outer cover to the lid of the hot tub.  It is one on my many outdoor projects, like gardening and digging up the sprinkler system.

Dad has decided that since I have been working so hard on peeling away the vinyl cover to the hot tub lid that instead of being a 2009 project, now the Back Porch Get-Rid-of-the-Hot-Tub-Altogether Project is going to be a Summer 2008 Project!  Yea!  Thanks to me we get  a WHOLE NEW FLOOR FOR THE BACK PORCH since there will be a big Octagonal hole in the floor once the hot tub is gone.

I am glad to be of service, Dad.  Anytime, really.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I hate swimmers</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/416555</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Jan 2008 18:03:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/416555</guid>
		<description>I used to like swimmers.  I like the way the swimmers smell.  I like the salty taste of their skin.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I used to like swimmers.  I like the way the swimmers smell.  I like the salty taste of their skin.  I like the soft clothes that swimmers wear:  sweat pants and sweatshirts and thick socks with moccasins or flip flops.

Now I hate swimmers.

At 6:30 tonight Mom left the house with:
2 pans of brownies
1 pan of Revel bar cookies
a double batch of made from scratch chocolate chip cookies
2 loaves of garlic bread

At 8:30 tonight Mom returned home with:
small crumbs.

And I wasn't even invited.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Valentines's Tag</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/415554</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 21 Jan 2008 09:02:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/415554</guid>
		<description>I have been tagged by my Jelly in a new Valentine Day's tag.  With all this cold weather I need to g ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have been tagged by my Jelly in a new Valentine Day's tag.  With all this cold weather I need to get my blood going!  Mulligan can't play tag because he gets too wound up, but I am a good sport.  I love to play tag with the neighborhood boys before the school bus comes.

If you have been tagged by one of your pals , then you should create a diary entry that lists 5 of your special wishes for Valentine's Day! Follow that with the names of 5 of your Dogster pals. Then, go and "tag" each of these 5 pals with either a p-mail or rosette! Gotcha!!!!! Sure a great way to share
Valentine Fun!

My 5 Valentine Wishes are....

1. I wish that Mulligan would just give up and let me have Mom's lap without us having to fight it out each time.
2. I would like to go to school with Middle Lad and Little Lad, including riding the school bus, eating lunch, and of course recess!
3. I wish those stupid squirrels would slow down and let me catch one of them and show them a thing or two about building  squirrel condos in MY trees.
4. I would like Mom to take all the blankets in the house and lay them on the floors and the chairs and the couch so that wherever I go I have a nice comfy spot to nap.
5. I would like to have less "monitoring."  It really limits the amount of mischief that I can get into.
Oh, and I am thankful that Mom is out of the Dog-House.  She made fleece blankets for:  Oldest Lad, Middle Lad, Little Lad.  Then for two of her nieces.  Then she even made a fleece blanket from some remnants, (ssh don't tell Mulligan it was from remnants) for Mulligan and me.  OK, that leaves out Dad.  He was feeling seriously left out.  But last night Mom made a fleece blanket for Dad.  It's a surprize when he comes home from his business trip.

My Pals that I'm tagging are:
Bodhi
Tico el Bandito
Ringo
Koopie]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Good thing I don't get to vote</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/413351</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Jan 2008 07:45:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Pennie ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/605326/diary/Pennie_a_personal_hygeine_princess/413351</guid>
		<description>Oldest Lad created a giant blow dart gun from a length of PVC pipe for his &quot;Dart Wars&quot; game that he  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oldest Lad created a giant blow dart gun from a length of PVC pipe for his "Dart Wars" game that he was playing at school.  Unfortunately he was killed in an ambush at the local Skyline Chili Parlor and he was the last of his team.  The good news was that the Foam Dart Injury was not fatal and the Lad was able to eat his meal, drive home and return to school the next day without incident.

With no use left for his Foam Dart Blow Gun, the lad started creating other uses for it.  He discovered it is especially useful for tormentin