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<title>The Ducky Post</title>
<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post</link>
<description>Dogster diary for the dog Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08</description>
<language>en</language>
<copyright>Copyright 2013 by Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 &amp; Dogster</copyright>
<pubDate>Sat, 18 May 2013 06:24:36 PDT</pubDate>
<generator>Dogster Pet-o-matic Gennie - http://www.dogster.com</generator>
<ttl>360</ttl>

	<item>
		<title>Three Years.....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/740359</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 23 Sep 2011 09:17:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/740359</guid>
		<description>Sunday will make 3 long years since our world blew up.  Since something we thought couldn&acirc;€™t happen ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sunday will make 3 long years since our world blew up.  Since something we thought couldnâ€™t happen to us, did.  
Iâ€™m so sorry that it still hurts us so much to remember you, sweetie.  We donâ€™t want to forget you, but our guilt makes it so hard to think about you without melting into pools of tears.  
You were so strong and even a little stubborn.
We were sure that would save your life. 
And though everyone did all they could to save you, 
there were other plans.  
We will never see a stuffed duck without immediately thinking of you:  Without seeing you in our heart, holding it, wiggling your nubby tail.  
You were a dainty little cow-dog.  But you were tough.  
You would have loved to be a working dog, but Momma wouldnâ€™t let you.  You might have gotten hurt.  
Maybe that was my mistake.  
You might still be alive and happy.
But you gave us so much joy, little one.  
We will always be proud of you.
Forever,


Mommy & Daddy,
Mickey, Sara, Baby Cat, Wally & Jenny]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Second Year Since You Left....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/692478</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 25 Sep 2010 08:33:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/692478</guid>
		<description>February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008
Our little angel, Bernadette,

This day marks 2 years sinc ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008
Our little angel, Bernadette,

This day marks 2 years since our world shook.  Since the words that we would not hear were said.  â€śSheâ€™s goneâ€ť.
How?  Why?  Sheâ€™s just a baby!
You spent your life waiting for us.  Sammyâ€™s hip was hurt, so you waited for him to be better.  Then he broke his leg, and you waited 18 months for him to heal.
He passed and you waited for us to be happy.
Just when we were coming out of the darkness and trying to embrace life, you were taken from us.  
You were always just a few feet away from us, like a good cow dog, watching; waiting.
Maybe you are still watching and waiting, but from heaven.  

Please continue to watch over your loving family.  We strive to be good enough to make it to heaven to finally be with you.  You wonâ€™t be waiting for us then.
We will spend eternity playing and snuggling.
Now and Forever,

Mommy & Daddy,
Mickey, Sara, Baby Cat, Wally & Jenny

<b>To be sent to you via "air mail" balloons</a>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Flicka's Mom....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/673525</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 25 May 2010 08:36:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/673525</guid>
		<description>Dearest Bernie,

I got a pawmail from Pam, Flicka's Mom.  She wrote from her pain of love and loss ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dearest Bernie,

I got a pawmail from Pam, <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/655533>Flicka's</a> Mom.  She wrote from her pain of love and loss, and in turn, wrote what was in my heart.  Her words are exact.  They are as if I said them myself, but did not.  If anyone copies this and claims it as their own without giving her credit, karma would be a very bad thing.

Pam, thank you for this gift of sharing.  This means the world to me.

'' ........... 
There is something I am getting to grips with... it isn't a simple concept... I have lost too many I care about in my life... 

The pain of loved souls passing can be agonizing . I have no strong faith to carry me.. I have a basic belief that I will see those I need and want to see in another dimension .. either in this life.. or a next if there is one.

What I have had to seriously ask myself is if I would rather not have had those souls in my life.? Meaning.. I had none of the pain of their passing. 

The answer is a deafeningly loud  '' I NEEDED THEM IN MY LIFE !".

They taught me to be who I am 

They gave me wings to Fly

They gave me the joy of Love.

If I want to be without the pain of their passing... then I have to not have them in my life to start with. I do not want a life that bitter and bare and empty.

I hate the pain.. I hate knowing the pain other souls are in. I hate the terrible diseases and pain that take our loved ones sometimes.

There IS no one without the other.... the only place that can be so is some science fiction Robot-World.

SO........ I will take the pain of the Passing... it is a small price to pay for all the LOVE that comes before. 

If I ever grow to be good enough.. and deserving enough.. to be even half as beautiful in my soul as a dog... then I will have come a very long way....... '']]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Happy Birthday, my little Duck Angel</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/653233</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 5 Feb 2010 07:51:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/653233</guid>
		<description>Dear Bernie,

Happy birthday my love.  You would have been a mere 6 years old today.  Still a youn ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dear Bernie,

Happy birthday my love.  You would have been a mere 6 years old today.  Still a youngster.  

And while my heart is broken, I will allow myself to put it aside for today and celebrate the fact you were born.  Celebrate the gift of you in my life.

To those friends reading this, thank you for remembering my little girl.  I appreciate all the love and support you have shown us and hope you feel my love to you.

Forever my little Duck Girl,
Mommy]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>First Anniversary Letter via air mail...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/623104</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:26:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/623104</guid>
		<description>February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008
Our little angel, Bernadette,

A year&acirc;€&brvbar;. It has been an e ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008
Our little angel, Bernadette,

A yearâ€¦. It has been an entire year since we held you or touched your fur.  When you left, much of our soul went with you.  The shock still catches me at times.

Daddy still canâ€™t say your name or remember you without tears.  But we must remember you, and keep you alive that way.  Its all we have any more.

So much has happened.  Thank you for sending Jenny.  I know she was a gift from you.  Yes, she looked like you at first.  Now, there is barely a resemblance.  
Mickey misses you, but is glad to have your gift.  She was the right one.  Thank you.

One of our Dogster friends said you were never our angel, but rather, Sammyâ€™s angel.  You were here for him, to help him and when he left, your work was done.  What a wonderful way of thinking about a tragedy that breaks my heart every day.

Nothing feels right.  Emptiness and longing persist.
But we will always love you.
Now and Forever,

Mommy & Daddy,
Mickey, Sara, Baby Cat, Wally & Jenny]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Last year...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/621831</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:15:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/621831</guid>
		<description>This weekend marks a year since you ate what killed you, my love.  A year.  

We are going back up ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This weekend marks a year since you ate what killed you, my love.  A year.  

We are going back up to the mountains to make your memorial garden.  I bought a metal marker and put it on a granite tile.  This I will put where you were a year ago, and a prayer will be sent up to you.  Candles will burn beside it, and love will imbue our souls.

Little one, I miss you!  You were our little girl.  You always will be.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Soon, you will get our letter...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/620990</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:19:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/620990</guid>
		<description>Today, I feel the world woke up crying like I am, sweet Bernie.  The air is filled with sorrow.

I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today, I feel the world woke up crying like I am, sweet Bernie.  The air is filled with sorrow.

I will begin to write your letter today.  The one I'll send air-mail on your bridge day.

I still cannot forgive myself.  But I can't make it up to you, sweet love.  All I can do is not let it happen again.  I spend my time holding your brother and sister close.  I look into their eyes, and tell them how much I love them.  I did that with you, as much as I could, but there simply wasn't time.

Please, promise me you will be there when my time comes.  You and your brothers....  If not, what is the point?

I love you, Bernadette.  Forever]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The month...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/618210</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Sep 2009 05:34:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/618210</guid>
		<description>This morning, I couldn't sleep.  I turned the page in the calander, and there was your face.  Your m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning, I couldn't sleep.  I turned the page in the calander, and there was your face.  Your memorial month.  Sweet angel, I spent all weekend with you by my side in my memories.  I cried tears as if they would bring you back.

So many regrets take over when I think of your short life, sweet Duck-girl.  I spent most of it taking care of Sammy, knowing I would have time to make it up to you.  I was so very wrong.

I love you, sweet angel.  Your star burns brightly in the sky this morning.

As it will forever.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Your marker...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/585141</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 4 May 2009 10:37:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/585141</guid>
		<description>Sweet baby girl, Daddy and I spent all weekend pouring your grave marker.  We used pretty color to t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sweet baby girl, Daddy and I spent all weekend pouring your grave marker.  We used pretty color to try to get it pinkish and tried to get it as perfect as you were.

It came out pretty well, but not nearly as lovely as you.  Our tears were mixed in, with the love we feel.  

We will take a photo of your grave when we remove the frame and get your flowers on it.  

I love you, my little girl.  I miss your big brown eyes.  And your little face.....]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Your epitaph</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/565069</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:06:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/565069</guid>
		<description>Well, we got it done, and gosh it was hard to write...  There is a slight typo in it, that will be f ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, we got it done, and gosh it was hard to write...  There is a slight typo in it, that will be fixed.  This is just a proof of the layout.  What a wonderful job they did.  


<b><a  class=bodyTextRev target=site  onClick="alert('Dogster Alert: You are about to visit an outside link that was submitted by this pet owner.');" href=http://s202.photobucket.com/albums/aa1/fur_momma/Bernadette/?action=view&current=Metalphoto.jpg>Your Epitaph</a></b>


Now we are going to do your granite marker, and then when it warms up, we will set them both at the cemetery, upon your little grave.

I love you, my dear daughter.  Forever....]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>&quot;Happy&quot; Birthday, my love....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/557341</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 5 Feb 2009 15:36:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/557341</guid>
		<description>Oh, my God...  How hard is this?  

Today, I woke at 2:35 am and wished your spirit a &quot;happy&quot; birt ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Oh, my God...  How hard is this?  

Today, I woke at 2:35 am and wished your spirit a "happy" birthday.  Oh, my God.  Why?  You were just a baby!  You would have been only 5 years old.  My baby girl.  My little angel.

I want to be happy, sweetie.  And I am happy you were borne.  So today, I do say Happy Birthday.  For if today had not occurred five short years ago, I would never have been blessed with having you in my life and in my heart for the rest of my days.

Little <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/501150>River</a> & <a hef=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/151921>Angel Chachi</a> sent you pretty rosettes and remembered you.  How special is that?

I went to your grave, as usual...  and I touched your flowers.  Sweet angel, you should be in my arms.  You should be getting "too many kisses" from us.  

I love you, baby...  and I always will.  Thank you for being my little girl angel.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A dream that was more like a nightmare</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/540721</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:35:35 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/540721</guid>
		<description>Last night, in the calm of the cabin, surrounded by the first snow of the season, I had my first dre ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, in the calm of the cabin, surrounded by the first snow of the season, I had my first dream of you.  But it was more like a nightmare.

I dreamt, sweet angel, that you were at the vet.  That you had been there for months, and I had been waiting to get you.  I had been waiting to hear from them to say you could come home, but they had forgotten you.  You were waiting for me in your cage, alone, cold, and hungry.  I was so angry.  I woke with the desperate need to hold you so close.  Yet you were gone.  Really gone.  

I miss you, my tiny angel.  I miss your silly smile, your funny face and your love.  

You are my little sunshine girl.  And I'm sorry I had to leave you at the vet for so very long.  I'm sorry you had to go ahead of me.  I'll be with you one day, baby.  I'll hold you once again.

I love you.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The stars represent my heart</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/535277</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 5 Dec 2008 15:08:55 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/535277</guid>
		<description>Going to the mountains is always hard because you loved it so much.  

While we are up there, the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Going to the mountains is always hard because you loved it so much.  

While we are up there, the stars are always so bright.  Looking up at them, one gets the overwhelming feeling of being so very small and insignificant.

But after I lost you, dear Bernadette, we went there, and I looked up and just cried.  I saw all those stars and felt like I was looking at my own heart, broken into infinite pieces.  And still, at night, when I can see the stars, I wish I could see your little face.

You came to Auntie Alison in a dream last night, sweetie.  She just told me.  She said she saw Sammy too.  He was laying on his bed, and you had your red and green toy in your mouth, then went to lay with him, and curled up in his belly.  She said it was a strange feeling to see you both together like that.  

I wish you would come to my dreams, but maybe I'm not ready yet.  I love you so much, little girl.  

I always will....]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Is she the one?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/524873</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 7 Nov 2008 12:23:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/524873</guid>
		<description>There is a puppy at the shelter where she used to volunteer, and still fosters sometimes for them.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ There is a puppy at the shelter where she used to volunteer, and still fosters sometimes for them.  Her name is:
<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site  onClick="alert('Dogster Alert: You are about to visit an outside link that was submitted by this pet owner.');" href=http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=12258440>Lovie Dovie</a>

She looks so much like me, it breaks Mom's heart.  Does she look toooooo much like me?  Would she just make Mom sadder?  
Mom isn't really ready, but gosh, that face!  Mom is bawling right now.:((

Mom is going to foster her.  Just to save her life, if nothing else.  She's been at the shelter since October 24, 2008.  As soon as she gets her, she will be taking her to Doctor Klingborg's office for a full checkup.  They will have a long weekend to get her settled, and then, possibly take her up to Auntie Alison's (if she isn't sick with kennel cough) to meet Shelby & Ginger, and have them help Mickey get used to her.

That is, IF she is the right one.  We will see...  oh, and we are gonna have to find a better name for this little one.  No matter what!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I cried myself to sleep last night.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/521152</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Oct 2008 08:09:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/521152</guid>
		<description>I cried myself to sleep last night
Whispering your name.
I cried myself to sleep last night
I kno ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I cried myself to sleep last night
Whispering your name.
I cried myself to sleep last night
I know it was in vain.

Wishing when I woke from slumber
You would be lying near my knee.
Wishing I could once again
Have you next to me.

But, alas, I did awake
Alone and filled with dread.
I have to live my life without you.
You have gone ahead.

Your sweet furry face
That made me smile so.
My heart breaks wide open
I hope, my dear, you know.

You were my little darling.
My little baby girl.
And though my pillow is stained with tears,
Your spirit stays with me still.

Iâ€™ll never, ever forget
The love we found so true.
I wouldnâ€™t trade the pain I feel
For never knowning you.


I have never written poetry, and I don't know if this would be considered poetry, but it is my heart.  I wrote this, myself in tribute to my little daughter, Bernadette.

Jacqueline Gonzalves]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>4 weeks....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/519613</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Oct 2008 10:50:04 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/519613</guid>
		<description>My sweet funny faced little girl,

Oh, baby I miss you so much.  I heard a new song, and will be p ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My sweet funny faced little girl,

Oh, baby I miss you so much.  I heard a new song, and will be putting it on your page.  It sings my heart.

Every day, I feel the emptiness of our home.  With you and Sammy gone, we feel alone.  Mickey misses you so completely.  Both of you.

I want to hold you, my little girl!  I want to feel your little body be a "noodle" like you always did.  I want to kiss your little white spot.  I need to smell your scent.

I love you, baby.  I always will.

Still crying,
Mommy]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Mountains</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/515703</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:34:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/515703</guid>
		<description>My beloved little daughter,

We went to the mountains this weekend, and there was nothing but tear ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My beloved little daughter,

We went to the mountains this weekend, and there was nothing but tears.  Baby girl, it broke my heart.  We got there, and Mickey was so excited!  He was making his Basenji sounds, and his tail was up and ears up, even though I was crying rivers.  He ran into the place, and looked all over, and smelled...  then tucked his tail, his ears went back.  You weren't there.  I guess he doesn't understand.  He thought you would be there, precious one.  and the river flowed stronger.

He was so scared the entire time we were up there.  The bravery you gave him was gone.  Every sound, every movement made him jump.  The world is such a scary place without you and Sammy.  

"Uncle" Paul came up with Tootsie and another dog, Buddy.  A very fat beagle.  Mickey didn't like Buddy.  He was a stranger, and no one was there to show him how to meet him.

Sammy would have told him, "Hello, I'm Sammy", and you would have told him, "get outta my face".  Mickey just didn't know what to do.  

He met so many new dogs this weekend, and he did fine with the females and the puppy male we met.  But still, he was looking for affirmation.  We did all we could to encourage him.

Our very good friends called Mommy to make sure she was o.k.  Ms. Sally, Sassy's Mom called on Friday.  But Mom was in the middle of a very typical breakdown.  Poor Ms. Sally.  She must  have regretted using long distance to hear that.  With all she is going through, she doesn't need my burden, too.
Then, last night, Ms. Dale called, River's Mommy.  I was doing o.k. when she called, so that was good, but then BAM, I broke down.  Poor Ms. Dale.  When she lost her Clover, her heart was broken too.

I talk to you all the time, Baby Girl.  I talk to you and Sammy, and ask you to stay near me, because I need you.  I can't seem to get this pain out of my chest.  Broken hearts actually hurt.  You would think you could actually see the hole that is there.

Daddy is doing very well.  He did release some, while we were up there.  But was very quiet, so as to not scare Mickey.  Who was already terrified as it was.

I love you, Bernie-duck.  I always will.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Taking it too far....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/514535</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 10 Oct 2008 08:51:30 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/514535</guid>
		<description>My baby girl,

Last night, I was missing you so much I was shaking again.  Then I looked at the cl ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My baby girl,

Last night, I was missing you so much I was shaking again.  Then I looked at the clock...  It was the time.  The exact time you left us 2 weeks ago.

Oh, how I miss you, my love.

I keep saying how you were so perfect for us and I thought about how everyone says they want to help me feel better and wish they could do something.  My answer is always:  Unless you can bring her back, there isn't anything anyone can do.  
Then I thought about how I could bring you back.  Cloning you...  I would have my duck girl back, as perfect as you were...  but it wouldn't be you.  It would, but your quirks and your personality wouldn't be there.  But if I could, I would...  I even talked to Daddy about it.  

I know there are far too many dogs that need homes in the shelter.  Even though I don't go down to the shelter any more, I know they are still there, waiting their turn.  But none of them will be able to hold a candle to you, my love.  

Baby Bernie, I would do anything to have you back.  I would give up the rest of my life to have you in  my arms, one more time.  Just to say goodbye...  Just to kiss your little white spot on your little head and tell you I'm sorry...
I love you my little duck.  I love you


Is it too soon?  Everyone (other than your Daddy) is telling me  I should adopt again, now.  For Mickey and for me.  They think my heart would heal if I were able to put all this love that is floating to nowhere, into a new baby.

There is one baby that may be considered, but I don't know if its too soon?  How will I know?
Her name at her foster home is <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site  onClick="alert('Dogster Alert: You are about to visit an outside link that was submitted by this pet owner.');" href=http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11871260>Jessie Lou</a>.  Now, that name will probably change, because your Grandma has Jesse and we had a Dixie Lou, but she is so cute, and needs a home.  She loves other dogs, is housetrained, spayed, and the rescue where she is has saved so very many of our shelter dogs, it would be repaying them for their help.

But, are we ready?  No matter, if she is still there when Mickey and I come back from Auntie Alison's, we will talk to Daddy.  Who will, as always, say "no".  He said "no" to Grizzly (I begged and begged for months), to Kody (even was MAD at me for buying him), at Sammy (cause we already had 2), at Mickey (because it was too soon after losing Grizzly {6 weeks}), and at you, my love.  And look how that all turned out?  

Please, my love.  Guide me.  Please, help me know what to do?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>2 weeks...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/514200</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 9 Oct 2008 08:28:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/514200</guid>
		<description>Sweet little girl,

It has only been 2 weeks since you left my arms, but it feels like a lifetime  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sweet little girl,

It has only been 2 weeks since you left my arms, but it feels like a lifetime without you.  I am doing so much better now.  I can go for 2 hours without crying.  2 hours...  I wonder if I can get up to 3 by next week?

Mickey is so lonely.  Daddy finally agreed that we will have to adopt for him again, but still says it's too soon.  But not too soon for him to plan another hunting trip.  Baby girl, I'm so upset.  Why can't he just wait?  Out of respect for you??  I can barely put on foot in front of the other, barely function, and he is just ready to hunt??  I know that wasn't what caused your death, but still...  It hurts me.  But like he says, it won't bring you back.

I'm still so angry with God.  I left Mickey at home alone, for the first time since you left.  I got in the car and drove and YELLED at God.  I cried the tears I've been holding back.  I screamed your name, my love.  Did you hear me?  I closed all the windows so no one thought I was being attacked.

Phantom may be sick, sweetie.  If he has to go with you, it will be a hard blow to Mickey.  The last of his "pack".  We have been seeing him almost every day.  But he is 16, and I think his kidneys are beginning to fail him.  He will see Dr. Klingborg today.  Please, watch over him.

Are you giving Sammy too many kisses like you did here?  Give him a few extra from me, kay?  I miss you both so much.  

I love you, Bernadette....  forever.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The letter</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/512067</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Oct 2008 10:19:52 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/512067</guid>
		<description>This is the letter Ms. Nancy read at your funeral...  everyone was in tears.  It means the world to  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This is the letter Ms. Nancy read at your funeral...  everyone was in tears.  It means the world to me, and I wanted to share it with your friends.

<b>
A note from Bernadette  Peters Gonzalves


When I was a little girl, I went to the animal shelter where I met Jacqueline.  I climbed into her arms and told her, â€śI will be the happiest dog in the world if she will be my 
Mommyâ€ť.

She said â€śI love you, but my heart and home are full of wonderful children I already love.  I will see you tomorrow.â€ť
Then she came to see me and said, â€śYou can come home with me while I look for the perfect home for you.â€ť

At home, I met David, and I told him, â€śI will be the happiest dog in the world if I can sleep with you and you will play with me.â€ť  He said, â€śYou are wonderful but you will not sleep with me.  I will watch over you and provide for you and give you a big crate to sleep in, and we will find you the perfect home.   

Well, I got the perfect home â€“ with my Jacqueline and Davidâ€¦ and  I get to snuggle in bed with my Daddy every night, and get up many times to have special time with my Mommy.   I am the happiest dog in the world. 

I have two wonderful brothers.  Sammy is my hero and Mickey is my very best buddy ever.  We have cats too.  

Here is a list of my favorite things:
1.  I like to wrestle with Mommy and Daddy on the floor.
2.  I like to chase â€śsompinsâ€ť and beeps with my brothers. 
3.  I LOVE to have people smell my butt!
4.  I LOVE ducks. 
5.  I love my Daddy â€“ he snuggles and plays with me and provides for me.  
6.  I love my Mommy â€“ she takes wonderful care of me and she is fun!!
7.  I love my Sammy & Mickey.

In my whole life with my family, there is only one thing that I have done that didnâ€™t work out well. I tried knocking over the trash and ate all sorts of amazing food.  It was sooo much fun and I got in lots of trouble. I got too sick and have had to leave my family for a little while.  I am with my brother, Sammy, and my new brothers, Grizzly and Kody, and Astro.  

I just wanted to tell you that I have been the happiest dog in the world because of my Mommy and Daddy who I love with all my heart.  Thank you for my wonderful life.  I will see you and Mickey on the other side of the bridge. 

Love,  
Bernie  (your Duck Girl)
</b>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Bernadette's Obituary</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/511460</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 1 Oct 2008 11:53:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/511460</guid>
		<description>Bernadette Gonzalves
February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008

Our little Bernadette loved life.  S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Bernadette Gonzalves
February 5, 2004 to September 25, 2008

Our little Bernadette loved life.  She was full of happiness and a million smiles.  Her love of her stuffed ducks and of swimming gave her the nick name of â€śDuck Girlâ€ť.

She loved her family, including Sammy, who left us less than 6 months ago.  She loved to follow him on his adventures, and this was no different.

She made so many people smile as we would all go for walks, her carrying her beloved duck.  She was a small cow dog, but with the heart of a Labradorâ€¦  she didnâ€™t any other way.

But for all her spirit, when she ate some bad food and got very sick, it took her in mere days.  She fought the best she could, and though the wonderful medical care did what they could, God had other plans for our little girl.

So, on Thursday night, while under the care of some of the best vets in Sacramento, she slipped from our grasp.  Her â€śbrotherâ€ť, Mickey, is lost without her.  She was the brave one.  She showed him that the world wasnâ€™t so scary without Sammyâ€¦.  Once a â€śCrewâ€ť, we are now just 3.  

She will be missed forever.  A life cut far too short.  

Thank you to Dr. Klingborg and the staff at Valley Animal Hospital all your help in this fight for her life.  She was laid to rest at the Franklin Pet Cemetery on Sunday, September 28, as friends and family remembered her special life.

Until we meet again, little Bernie-duck.  We will always love you.

Mommy (Jacqueline), Daddy (David), & Mickey (your buggy brother) and the kitties]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Memories</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/511144</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:39:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/511144</guid>
		<description>This will be a recurringly updated post.  

October 7, 2008

I miss how you used to &quot;clean your  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This will be a recurringly updated post.  

October 7, 2008

I miss how you used to "clean your feet" after you pooped.  Your long legs would kick so far behind you and the grass would just FLY!!!  Not at all like Sammy, who would use his front legs more than his back.  Oh, my baby girl...  My eyes burn from not seeing you!

Oct 2, 2008
I was sitting on the floor by the back door, looking at the deep gouges you took out of the door jam and started to cry.  How many screen doors did we go through?  How many times did you knock it right out of the tracks?  You made me laugh so much.  

I remember how you demanded to take your lovies outside with you, and when I asked you to drop them, most of the time you did.  Sometimes you were headstrong and decided to go deaf on me.  You would lock your jaw and no matter what, you weren't letting go of your toy.  I always gave up by then, because you were so cute.  If you were in that frame of mind, you never dropped it outside.  You would pee with it still in your mouth, and just carry it back in.

I miss seeing you lick your own front legs for comfort.  You had the sweetest sticky tongue.  
You would kiss us, and your tongue would get stuck on our skin and move so slowly and gently.  Your tongue was hot.  I miss your kisses.  No one kisses any more.

October 6, 2008

Last night, we had hot cocoa.  Daddy wanted whipped cream.  Mom got the can and shook it, then started to bawl.  Mickey had come at the sound of it shaking and asked for some.  It reminded me of how you used to sit there and open your mouth.  I would put the tip of the whipped cream in your mouth and spray it...  You never licked the tip, nor did you bite it...  you just sat there and waited until I filled your little mouth.  I only gave you a little, so it didn't hurt you, but you LOVED it.  In the mountains, you were crazy about it...  how you loved your whippin' cream.

I was remembering how you used to stretch.  Sometimes off the couch, but mostly along the floor.  First, you would stretch your front legs, then arch your back and finish with your back legs.  But you didn't stop there.  You would drag your back legs about a foot, as your little paws flipped pad side up behind you...  You were so funny that way.  Sometimes you would drag yourself, literally, off the couch, and your back legs would flop off the couch, being dragged behind you.  Then you would stand and shake it all off.

I miss you my love....

Oct 1, 2008
I loved how you would carry your duckies with you when we went for a walk.  One would have thought you were a Labrador with the way you loved to carry then.  But you were so little...

I miss you jumping on me and then off the bed, over and over until I woke up to let you out.  I would cover my head with the blankets and just giggle waking up because you were so silly.  Up, down..  up down, up....  down, up, down, up...  over and over...  

I miss you laying by the sink to keep an eye on me while I showered.  You made sure the cats didn't bother me.  

I miss your feet!  You had such large paws for such a little girl, and you wore your little nails down to nubbies from running out the back doors.  I never had to trim your nails, did I little girl?

We miss you with your "ponker" (busy buddy barbell), and how you would lay down and just keep turning it over and over, getting out the kibbles.  You would watch Mickey as he would throw it around the room.  If a kibble got near you, you would walk away from your ponker and get his kibble. 

You shared so well.  Food, toys, bones, bed space...  you shared.  Except with the cats.

I love you, baby girl!

September 30, 2008
I loved your floppy ears.  I loved the way they would bounce as we walked.  Just to think of that makes my heart smile and my eyes tear.

I loved how you would bite the cat's ears, but they would slip out because of your adorable little underbite.

We miss the destruction of the door jams when you wanted out.  Always with a "drop it" before I would open the door, so you didn't take your indoor lovies out.  Then you would go full bore out that door and grab one of the lovies on the way out...  totally silent.  Mickey at your heals, barking.  By the time you got to the middle of the yard, you would shake your lovie.  Ears up, stiff...  ready to run again.

I miss looking for you in the grass.  You were a camo pup.  But if I looked under YOUR big tree, you'd be there.  With a duck.  

I loved how you would lay down and throw your long back legs out... like some kind of pin up model.  

It is hard for us to settle down to sleep at night, because we don't get our game of "smell my butt" in.   You were so funny how you would smoosh your head in our chest, as we lay down under the blankets.  And you would end up flipping over.  The sounds you made, were doggie laughter.

Nothing is right....  it can never be right again.  You were perfect for us.  You were exactly what Mickey needed.  The complete opposite, but the same.  He was shy of humans, you were a little greeter.  He loved other dogs, and you....  didn't.  He was timid.  You were brave.  But you were like the perfect pair.  Like Daddy and I are.  We balance each other.  That is what you did.  And together, we were the perfect family.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Is that you?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510808</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:05:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510808</guid>
		<description>2 hours ago, the burglar alarm went off...  Was that you?  It wasn't even set, as we were in the hou ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ 2 hours ago, the burglar alarm went off...  Was that you?  It wasn't even set, as we were in the house.  That has never happened before.  All the lights on the panel were lit, and then the horn went off...

And now, my sweet baby girl, it is raining.  No rain in the forecast, yet I step outside and feel gentle drops of rain.  The first all summer.  Is that you?

I look up and see the blue sky patched with white fluffy clouds.  I see the sun shining between them, and I ask, "Baby Roo, is that you?  I miss you Bernie".

Did you just get out of the pond I imagined you swimming in, with your new wings?  Or are they your tears?  Tears you share with us, because you were ripped out of our arms?

Is that you, Bernie?  Is that you?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>It was beautiful...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510663</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 29 Sep 2008 10:17:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510663</guid>
		<description>You had a beautiful funeral.  Bill Zoslocki and his wife, Kathy, officiated it, and what they said w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ You had a beautiful funeral.  Bill Zoslocki and his wife, Kathy, officiated it, and what they said was perfect.  Even though Dad and I are mad at God for taking you so soon, it is true.  You were lent to us...  a short term lease, I suppose.

Auntie Alison and her golden retriever, Ginger was there.  So was Auntie Sandy & Uncle Calvin and their daughter Cheryl Ann.  Then came Ms. Nancy & Mr. Bryan with your pal, Phantom.  And "Uncle" Paul was there, too!  Even our neighbor, Bernadette, came.  She was so sweet to be there.  Everyone came to celebrate your life.  You never knew, in such a short time, you touched so many.  Daddy talked at first, then Bill did a service, then everyone talked about their memories of you.  Then Ms. Nancy read a letter you wrote...  Mommy will have to transcribe it here when she can get away from Mickey.  

We are still moving one foot in front of the other.  It takes every ounce of their strength, but we are.

I know you sent some clouds this morning to let us know you're watching over us.  One was a ducky, and the other looked JUST like you swimming.  But there were wings.  Maybe you are more duck now, cause you do have wings!

Mommy is crying....  her face is raw with the burn of tears, and her eyelashes are white with salt.  

We love you for loving us.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Why go on?  What's the point?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510377</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 28 Sep 2008 12:59:19 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510377</guid>
		<description>Thank you, my friends.

Today will by my funeral.  As long as Mommy &amp; Daddy fake it, Mickey is o.k ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Thank you, my friends.

Today will by my funeral.  As long as Mommy & Daddy fake it, Mickey is o.k. but if they cry, he vomits and is very skittish.  They are both very worried about him.  He has lost both his knight in shining fur and his best friend in less than 6 months. 

It is hard for Mom & Dad.  Nothing has much meaning now.  The only reason to go on is Mickey...  The kitties can fend for themselves with family members, but not Mickey.   So, they keep moving forward.  They don't know why they bother.  It is just a matter of time.  They ask:  Why?

Never answered.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>My Bernie's funeral...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510025</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:07:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/510025</guid>
		<description>I just wanted to invite anyone that wants to come, to Bernadette's funeral.  It will be a the Frankl ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just wanted to invite anyone that wants to come, to Bernadette's funeral.  It will be a the <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site  onClick="alert('Dogster Alert: You are about to visit an outside link that was submitted by this pet owner.');" href=http://modesto.citysearch.com/profile/1150194/?brand=smx_yp-nc>Franklin Pet Cemetery</a> at 4:00 pm on Sunday.  


Thank you.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Run with Sammy, my little one...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509629</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 26 Sep 2008 09:04:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509629</guid>
		<description>Last night, we made it to VCA in Sacramento.  I had her in my arms for the entire 2 hour drive.  She ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, we made it to VCA in Sacramento.  I had her in my arms for the entire 2 hour drive.  She got lots of kisses, and happy love, and I told her about how you all were praying for her.  It was a blessing I was able to do that.  David, her daddy, got there about 15 minutes too late.  He is beyond devistated, because he feels it was his fault.

She went into complete toxic shock, and just couldn't make it...  and now, like always, she follows her big brother into another adventure.  Our arms are empty... but I know she lingers some...She loved her Daddy so much.  The stuffies are all over the house and back yard.  Her paw prints are in the dirt...  and yet, she is gone.  She was only 4 years old.  She was healthy.  She was our perfect daughter.  

I'm not ready to say "goodbye" to her yet.  

thank you all for the love and support you have sent for her.  

We are in shock.  Pure shock.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>She made it through the night, and another hurdle to face this morning.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509293</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 25 Sep 2008 10:46:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509293</guid>
		<description>Mommy typing here:

She survived the night, thank God.  I know it was the prayers.

She is doing ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mommy typing here:

She survived the night, thank God.  I know it was the prayers.

She is doing a little better, with the exception of her albumin being very dangerously low and her platelets still dropping.

I transferred her back to our vet this morning, and he is doing a transfusion of human albumin on her.  The benefits will outweigh the risks, but there are very VERY severe risks.  She could have an allergic reaction to the human albumin, and that could be fatal.

She is by NO means out of the woods, but some of her other numbers are better...  If she doesn't have a reaction to this treatment, then it is another huge hill we have climbed.  

Thank you for the prayers...

Update at 11:18 am
I meant to say, they said that it <b> isn't DIC</b>, which in and of itself is wonderful.  

I am leaking tar out of my tiny po-po and vomited something that looked like coffee as soon as Auntie put the car into drive leaving the night emergency vet to go to Dr. K.  But they don't seem too worried about that.  Mom held me the entire way, but I am so sick, I didn't really react.   Last night, when they took me to the emergency vet, it was as if I were totally sedated, but I wasn't. I am now able to lay on my chest and balance, so that is huge, too. 

My white blood cells are higher than they were, but they did 2 EKGs and one ultrasound, and they all came out clear with the exception of some "sludge" in my bladder.  But that could be from crystals, he said.  He didn't know I have a history of crystals.  He was happy to learn that.

We had a tiny hiccup, though.    We thought we took the human albumin with us, and even asked the vet if it was in the bag, and he said it was.  Well, it wasn't.  After he finished with my benedryl treatment to prevent a reaction, Dr. K called Mom to see if she knew what was happening.  Anyway, the emergency vets were taking it over to  Dr. K's office at 10:30.  

So, I am probably having the treatment now.  Mom hopes the phone doesn't ring...  She will be calling again in about an hour and a half for an update.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Getting worse...</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509086</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:19:18 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/509086</guid>
		<description>5:30 pm
Dr. Klingborg said I am not doing well.  Basically, I have e-coli which is turning into DIC ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ <b>5:30 pm</b>
Dr. Klingborg said I am not doing well.  Basically, I have e-coli which is turning into DIC...  my platelets are low...  my white blood cells are basically non existent.  

I am bleeding from my nose.

Doc said, it is less than 50/50 chance I'll be here tomorrow...

<b>8:00 pm update:</b>

Platelets down to 100, should be 175, but my first test they were 135, then up to 150....   

Emergency vet has taken over my case.  He said my red blood cells are down, which is good, cause they were too high.

But he said I am showing signs of kidney and liver distress.

He said to pray... and pray hard.

I'm not bleeding from the nose right now, so that is good.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Dr. said I had a bad night....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508857</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 24 Sep 2008 08:11:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508857</guid>
		<description>Mommy called the vet at 7:30 am....  she was so worried about me all night.  Well, guess she knew, b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mommy called the vet at 7:30 am....  she was so worried about me all night.  Well, guess she knew, because they said I have been having bloody diarrhea a lot, and vomited twice.  I couldn't hold it all night (no one is at the clinic over night) so I am a mess...  with bloody poo.  

Daddy had to leave out of town, but knew that if he went to see me, it wouldn't be for me.  It would have been selfish, cause I wouldn't have understood and wanted to go home.

The nurse said when I get taken outside, I'm happy, but not when I'm straining to poo.  They said I'll probably be on IV for at least until this afternoon, and see how it goes from there.  

Dr. K should be calling after he comes in and sees all us sick pups.  Mommy is scared.  Mickey is lonely for me, and Daddy...  well, remember, I'm Daddy's girl.

Thank you all for my power of the paw charms!  Hope they start doing the trick!

Love,
Bernie-duck-pig

Dr. called Mommy...  I'm in VERY bad shape.  I will need a plasma transfusion at least.  Doing more blood work to see why I'm not better.  Dr. said if Mom had asked him yesterday if I would be this bad, he would have said 0% chance of it....]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I'm in the hospital....</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508566</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:57:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508566</guid>
		<description>Well, I sure did mess up my tummy.  Last night, I vomited 4 times, and then all night long, I had di ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, I sure did mess up my tummy.  Last night, I vomited 4 times, and then all night long, I had diarrhea.  But this morning, I didn't want my breakfast (Daddy insisted I have a small serving of white rice so if I threw up, I had something in there), and I had bad bloody diarrhea.  It was like blood mixed with chocolate milk.

So, Mom called Dr. Klingborg, and we got in almost right away.  They felt my tummy and said it was tight like a drum.  My eyes weren't blood shot, though, and my gums were pink, so that was good!

They took me back to have an Xray, and it showed I had very severe gastroenteritis.  My stomach lining would normally be about 1/4 of an inch think was actually about 2 inches thick.  My blood was drawn and it showed the exact numbers to show severe enteritis.  Dr. K said my blood was like syrup, and I was in extreme pain.  But I am a tough girl, and wasn't showing it.  

Mom had to leave me there for an IV and some kind of IV medication that detoxifies my blood/gut and something for the inflamation.  I could be there from 24 to 48 hours.  But the good news is:  There is NO blockage, and no surgery!!

The bad news is:  in the xrays, I have a fair to poor left hip.  A "square peg in a round hole"...   but it doesn't slow me down at all!  Dr. said by the time I will be 12, it may show but for now, I have 3 other great wheels, there are no bone spurs , and my right hip is absolutely PERFECT!

So, I'm all alone in a cage with an ugly e-collar on.  Daddy is leaving until Friday and can't come see me, cause I'll get all upset.

Please, pray for me, but just a little.  I know I'll be fine, and LOTS of other pups out there are much worse off...

Darned that Lasagna and venison!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I forgot:  Moderation in EVERYTHING!!!  :-/</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508169</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 10:28:41 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/508169</guid>
		<description>Well, if you are against hunting (like Mom is) then please don't read my entry.

Daddy is a hunter ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, if you are against hunting (like Mom is) then please don't read my entry.

Daddy is a hunter.  Always has been, always will be.  That is the meat he eats...  what he gets.  Mom only buys pork chops at the store, so at least he eats what he kills.

Daddy got a deer on Saturday, opening day of season here in California.  He was working on the meat, and Mom wanted NOTHING to do with it, but came out to watch us, darned it!  
Mom had put some 3 week old left over lasagna in the bag (she forgot it in the fridge) since it was a yucky mess, and was glad it wasn't in the house any more.  
But Mom had to go in to dod something (pee)...  and left us in the care of Daddy.  Well, he was de-boning the critter, and went back for another piece, when I found the scrap bag!  
I gobbled up all the lasagna (enough to feed Daddy 2 meals) and a BUNCH of the raw deer meat, with gristle and probably some bones in it.  Daddy caught me, and yelled at me, but couldn't stop what he was doing.  Mom came out exactly at that time, and I was totally busted!  But the bad thing was, I ate so much, it really hurt.  Mom was torn between anger and fear.  
"What did she eat?"  "Were there any bones?" "Where is that lasagna?"  "Did she get stung by a meat bee/yellow jacket??"

Well, Mom watched me like a hawk.  I kept licking my chops (probably because of the blood on them, oh and I had a stripe of it on my forehead, too) and drinking water more than usual.  I didn't have any swelling on my face from a sting, but I sure did have one in my tummy.  I usually have a large dip from my sternum to my waist, like a great dane, but it was gone!!  

Mom made me rest for 3 hours, and I laid there and slept, moving my legs every now and then, but just resting like Daddy does on Thanksgiving evening!

In 3 hours, Mom figured I wasn't showing any signs of my stomach being turned or punctured, so we went for a ride in the car and a long, slow walk.  Ooh, I felt bunches better.  I kept drinking water all day, but just sips often.

By night, I was laying in my bed, as usual, and Mom was emptying litter boxes when I just opened my mouth and a HUGE tube of kibble, lasagna and raw meat came out.  And I just laid there...  It STANK!!  Whew!!  

Mom asked me to get up and I jumped up, grabbed a stuffy and went out to potty!  WOW!  I RAN out there, as if something needed to be chased.  But I stopped, and did was she asked me to do...  *giggles*  "doo"!

It was fine, so we came back in and I got another drink of water...  and this morning I seem fine!  I ate my breakfast with gusto, and have kept it down for 4 hours...  but still, no more poop.  Mom is considering giving me some cat laxative, but not sure if the cheese in the lasagna will take care of that.  See, even though I vomited that much, it wasn't all of it...  

Anyway, it didn't stop me!  I was looking to get into the garbage this morning!!  and I have NEVER been a garbage diver!!  Is there a club??  

I gotta remember, MODERATION, though!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mean people are creaps!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/469540</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:15:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/469540</guid>
		<description>How can people be so mean?  Our pals,  The PURPLE Girls of Oregon have been on a quest to get pups t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ How can people be so mean?  Our pals, <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/718265> The PURPLE Girls of Oregon</a> have been on a quest to get pups to be their pals and put them in their corral for one simple reason:
Someone has offered to donate to their cause (helping pups fight a horrible disease called IMHA.  To learn more about it, please see their page.  It is a disease that took their beloved <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/504880>Mica</a> and so very many other pups.

So, now HQ has been forced to tell them to stop asking pups to put them into their "corral" because others have considered it "SPAM".  How silly is that?  I  mean, they are not asking for money, rosettes, zealies, or even a pawmail!!!!  Just a simple click to put them into your corral!

Jeez!  I hope those people never feel the love and loss this family has!  I hope they never feel helpless and ask for a simple gesture to stop this from happening to others.  

I am so sorry, my friends.  Please, know we love you....  and pray for forgiveness from above to those that are mean.  They must be really, REALLY dumb!

When we lost our Sammy, they were right there with love and compassion.  Why can't more people be like them?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Me???  I'm dog of the Day for Mother's Day??</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/458766</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 11 May 2008 12:30:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/458766</guid>
		<description>OMD!  Mommy got a call from Miss Sassy's Mommy, saying we HAVE to check out Dogster home page before ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ OMD!  Mommy got a call from Miss Sassy's Mommy, saying we HAVE to check out Dogster home page before midnight...
And who do we see on there, but little ol' me and Mom!  
HQ honored me with being Dog of the Day!!!  

Well, needless to say both me and Mom are all teary and weapy.  I mean, gosh!  I knew Mom could have been dog of the day, but me??  I'm just a little ol' pup that found a home the loves me bunches and bunches.

Can you imagine?  I went from being on the euthanization list, ready to be sent to the bridge, to finding a foster that really believed in me... so much they decided to be my forever family.

Thank you all so much for giving Mom a smile today.  It has been rough, missing our Sammy, but now she has a smile through tears.   We feel so much love.

Thank you again,

Bernie-duck]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Trying to play</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/447013</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 9 Apr 2008 10:24:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/447013</guid>
		<description>Yesterday we had a big fun!  

Before Sammy left to the bridge, he found out we had miceys in the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Yesterday we had a big fun!  

Before Sammy left to the bridge, he found out we had miceys in the well insulation.  He wanted so badly to get those mice, but Mom asked him to leave them, and he did.  He was so obedient.  She knew if he saw them, he would have hurt himself to get them.  Mom always tried to protect Sammy.

Well, yesterday afternoon, Daddy took the little house off the well-head, and out ran 4 mice.  MICKEY ate one!  He did!  He got it in his mouth, it squeaked, and he chomped down and swallowed!!!  OMD!  I got one, too, but Mom & Dad asked me to drop it, and I did.  It ran away, and I wanted to get it, but I was a good girl for Mom.  She was so proud of me.  

Mickey had a tummy ache after that!  BOL!  I bet it was biting him back from the inside!  BOL!

We went to PetSmart last night to get us new harnesses.  We had a gift card from Christmas that we never got a chance to use.  So I got a pink one, and Mickey got a black one.  

Then we went to Grammy's house.  I love my Grammy.  I kiss her toes and she giggles.  We came home, and it was really late.  I was tired.  Mickey's tummy was making horrible noises!  I swear, that mouse was trying to get out!

This morning we went for a walk, which we have been going on every day since Sammy left.  I love to walk.  I'm so good at it.  Much to Cesar Milan's dismay, I am always in the lead.  But I'm very polite.  

Mom is trying REALLY hard to not cry around us.  She went out to the "monkey zone", which is Daddy's work shop, to cry...  They call it that because Sammy supervised the building of it when he was young.  

Mickey is doing a little better.  He is famished from not eating (maybe one reason he ate the mousie) and he doesn't have any more blood in his poo...  So your love and well wishes to him worked!  But he still misses Sammy, and sometimes, for no particular reason, he looks up to the ceiling as if he is seeing something.  There is nothing visibly there, but I know it is Sammy coming to check on us.  

Well, I have to go work.  Those cats are moving around the house again, and I need to put them into their room.  I love being a cow dog.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Purple Tongue??</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/431662</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:53:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/431662</guid>
		<description>Last night, while Sammy &amp; Mickey were busy chewing their rawhides, I got to play with Mom &amp; Dad!  Oh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, while Sammy & Mickey were busy chewing their rawhides, I got to play with Mom & Dad!  Oh, what fun I had!

I got my butt "sniffed" and just had a ball, but when Mom made me quit, my tongue was no longer pinkish-red.  It was PURPLE!  Mommy was worried about my heart and lungs.  But I wasn't even breathing hard, and my heart, while going a little fast because of the wrestling, wasn't anything to worry about.

It went back to pink after about a minute, but Mom got escared!

I'm doing fine today.

Anyone have an idea what happened to my tongue?

O.k.  Mommy emailed Dr. Klingborg, cause she was wondering... and this is what he answered:

 No.  You Should NOT Worry.  She was holding her breath while having so much fun.  Its kind of kinky, but harmless.  


OMD! I Love my vet!!!   He just KNOWS me!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Muffin gave me a pretty!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/425092</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 13 Feb 2008 09:40:13 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/425092</guid>
		<description>I got a Rosette from MUFFIN

Isn't she sweet?? ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ <a id="img2327567954" +  class=bodyTextRev target=site  onClick="alert('Dogster Alert: You are about to visit an outside link that was submitted by this pet owner.');" href="http://cdnll.img1.imagechef.com/w/080211/samp44b94a426305ab2a.jpg" onmouseover="document.getElementById('img2327567954').innerHTML = String.fromCharCode(60) + 'img src=http://cdnll.img1.imagechef.com/w/080211' + '/samp44b94a426305ab2a.jpg' + String.fromCharCode(62) + String.fromCharCode(60) + 'BR/' + String.fromCharCode(62) + 'I got a Rosette from MUFFIN'">I got a Rosette from MUFFIN</a>

Isn't she sweet??]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Today is my Birthday!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/421708</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 5 Feb 2008 11:39:18 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/421708</guid>
		<description>I'm 4 years old today!  

Well, at least, today is the day we celebrate my birthday.  See, I was a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I'm 4 years old today!  

Well, at least, today is the day we celebrate my birthday.  See, I was about 5 or 6 months old when Mom & Dad saved my life, so we don't know for sure, but since yesterday was Daddy's birthday, we decided to be able to have a 2 day party!

I got special permission from my very good friend, Daisy Mae, to be able to be "naughty" today!  On account of it being my Birthday!  Oooh, I Love Daisy Mae and her sister, Little Annie.  

I got a bunch of gifts!  Bruti, my fiance, sent me a HUGE cake!  He is just the BEST!

I even got a bunch of balloons from <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/501150><u><b>River</b></u></a>.  She and I share a birthday, so please, send her love!
I also share my birthday with <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/197727>Gertie</a>, and even if she is at the bridge, she deserves birthday love!
AND <a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/226187>Godiva</a> has my birthday, too!

Mom & Dad bought me a white teddy bear...  and I heard they have some ducks for me but I don't get them until after dinner.

Gotta go be naughty now!  You gotta use it while you can!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>BATH??  Well, that just is not FAIR!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/354059</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:08:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/354059</guid>
		<description>I was being a good girl.  I was wiggling my prettiest for Auntie Alison, and generally being a good  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was being a good girl.  I was wiggling my prettiest for Auntie Alison, and generally being a good girl.  We were out in the back yard, near the tomato plants, and I found something wonderful!  

It smelled like the BEST stink in the world, so I had to put some on me!  I rolled in it and rolled in it, and was so proud of myself.  Then I showed Mom and Dad.  Daddy immediately got out the shampoo and the hose and gave me a bath!  ONLY me!!  Ooo, I was mad!  Then Daddy went out and picked up the wonderful source of scent.  It was a dead blue jay....  that probably died of West Nile Virus.  So they called the authorities.  They came to pick it up today to test it... we'll know in 2 or 3 weeks.

After I had my bath, I got the really bad zoomies!  I ran all over the place and crashed into the poles of the patio a couple of times.  Then I found some old cut grass I rolled in and that was that!

*giggle*]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I was a VERY good girl this morning!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/348137</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 7 Aug 2007 08:53:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/348137</guid>
		<description>At 2:00 this morning, I wanted to go pee.... and Mickey and Sammy just wanted to sleep.

So Mom go ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ At 2:00 this morning, I wanted to go pee.... and Mickey and Sammy just wanted to sleep.

So Mom got up and took me out.  In the back yard was a HUGE opossum!  He stood his ground when I came up to him, and we were nose to nose!  Mom was scared, cause they have big rat teeth.  She called me and said, "Bernie, leave it" and I did!  She wasn't yelling at me, but just calmly told me no.  Then when I turned to go back to her, the stupid thing just stood there!!  Mom was worried it would charge me, but it didn't.  So I squatted to pee, and came to Mom. She was so full of praise and telling me what a good girl I was!

I got back into bed but had to tell Sammy and Mickey I just got a "good girl
' from Mom!  They groaned and told me to go back to sleep.

Oh, boy!  If Sammy and Mickey had gotten up, that woulda been one dead varmint!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Tagging</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/312625</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 May 2007 13:31:56 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/312625</guid>
		<description>We have been tagged by 
Gabby Doodle

a BUNCH of our great pals. It sounds like fun so we're off  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We have been tagged by 
<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/398786>Gabby Doodle</a>

a BUNCH of our great pals. It sounds like fun so we're off to tag. Below are the rules of the game:

(Hint: Copy and paste the rules so you don't have to type them again):

Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged, need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Donâ€™t forget to bark them a pmail that they have been tagged and to read your Diary, or, send them a fun Rosette announcing they've been Tagged!

1. We like to chase gophers (sompins) andsquirrels (beeps)
2. I love to have people smell my butt!
3. Mommy and Daddy would do anything for us!
4. We love to go for rides in the new car!
5. None of us will drink water unless it has kibble in it!
6. We eat off trays
7. I have 20 ducks that Mommy calls my Lovies!

And the pups we choose to tag are:
Oh....  too many to count!!!  And we haven't even gotten started yet!

<a  class=bodyTextRev target=site href=http://www.dogster.com/dogs/398786>Gabby Doodle</a>]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Monday is coming!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/266650</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 2 Feb 2007 10:48:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/266650</guid>
		<description>My BIRTHDAY is MONDAY!!  

I'mna be 3 years old!!   Special dinner and play time this weekend with ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My BIRTHDAY is MONDAY!!  

I'mna be 3 years old!!   Special dinner and play time this weekend with Daddy!  Yipee!!!

I'mna be 3!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>OOh,  I gotta GO!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/256192</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 9 Jan 2007 10:20:02 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/256192</guid>
		<description>Last night, and all morning, I have been needing to go pee... or so I say.

I don't lick myself, a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, and all morning, I have been needing to go pee... or so I say.

I don't lick myself, and 50% of the time, when I go out, I don't go, I just wait for my brothers to come out.

But I sure do put on a show making Mommy guilty!  Woke Mommy up 5 times last night, and she only got Sammy up twice!

I'm spoiled...  she loves me too much.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ooops!  I dribbled!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/253509</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 3 Jan 2007 16:32:24 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/253509</guid>
		<description>Well, since big brother, Sammy has been out of commission, I have been refused to exercise without h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, since big brother, Sammy has been out of commission, I have been refused to exercise without him.  

So, because I am not excercising, my bladder muscles are getting weak again.  I'm still taking Proin, now double the doseage I was before.

I hope Sammy will be able to walk even a little bit, so I can get out and move again!

My cousin, Jessie, came over today, and I could have played with him!  But I refused.  I wanted to stay by my big brother.  Mommy even tossed us outside to play, with Mickey, too.  But we wouldn't move away from the glass door.

GET WELL soon, SAMMY!!!

Oh, and Happy Birthday MOMMY!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Daddy is coming home Tomorrow!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/232022</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 13 Nov 2006 14:51:33 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/232022</guid>
		<description>Daddy has been out of state since Thursday, so I have been sleeping without my snuggler!  Oh, how I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Daddy has been out of state since Thursday, so I have been sleeping without my snuggler!  Oh, how I miss him! 


But he is coming home tomorrow!!!  I can't wait!


I love my Daddy!  Mommy is cool, but Daddy Rocks!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ouch!  I got my vaccinations!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/192182</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 11 Aug 2006 10:33:00 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/192182</guid>
		<description>Went to see Dr. Klingborg on Tuesday to get my vaccinations.  Then Mommy asked them to take my urine ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Went to see Dr. Klingborg on Tuesday to get my vaccinations.  Then Mommy asked them to take my urine to check for crystals.  I have struvite crystals and have to eat Hills C/D.  They take it by cystocenthesis.. OUCH!  

Good news is there are no crystals!  

And since I'm doing so well since my booty tuck, he says maybe I should be off the PPA (proin)!  

It is starting to get hot again, so sleepy time for us!

Bye!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ho, hummm....   Pismo Beach?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/185688</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 27 Jul 2006 16:01:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/185688</guid>
		<description>So, what is the big deal?  We are going someplace?  Maybe the highschool?

Sammy is super happy, a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So, what is the big deal?  We are going someplace?  Maybe the highschool?

Sammy is super happy, and Buggy (Mickey) is scared.  I'm so confused.

Maybe I'll just lay down and take a nap, and when I wake up, it will all make sence.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>My Tail of Devotion for Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/182337</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 20 Jul 2006 13:31:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/182337</guid>
		<description>Sweet little girl.

You are my first daughter.  Maybe some may be insulted my calling you that.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Sweet little girl.

You are my first daughter.  Maybe some may be insulted my calling you that.  I don't care.  

When I first saw you, you were behind chain link.  Your body was so small and thin, and you were wiggling your very best.  

I went to greet you, and I was told you were to be euthanized the following Monday.  You had been there too long, and no one wanted you.  

It was my first day photographing for the shelter, and I wanted to cry...  So soon?  I just started, and already my heart was breaking!  
You came home soon after, and we kept you separate from Sammy and Mickey.  You were so sick with kennel cough, and I didn't want to get more attached than I already was.  We put you in the laundry room, and had you in an exercise pen.  You layed down to sleep, but as soon as you couldn't see me, you went nuts.  even broke down the Xpen to get out.  I was so scared for you...  so I slept on the floor next to the pen.  Slowly I moved out of the room, inch by inch...  you stayed asleep.  Until you couldn't see me.  Then you woke up and cried.  
How could something so sweet and loving be euthanized?  
I was deterimined to find you the very best home!  I advertized in the paper, on the internet and at vet hospitals.  Only those that wanted you for breeding or to be left outside wanted you.  I explained how you needed to be with humans...  but they didn't care.  So, we kept looking.  Quickly we got you spayed, so breeding wasn't an issue... but that didn't help...  

God meant for you to be our baby.  And since you are our's, we have been told by so many that if we wanted to get rid of you, they'd take you...   Too late.  You are our hearts and our home forever.

Your life with us was so brief, but it left deep memories and love that will never die.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Camera Shy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/182271</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 20 Jul 2006 11:22:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/182271</guid>
		<description>Last night, we went to the high school, and let Sammy get some exercise.  Mommy videoed Sammy walkin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Last night, we went to the high school, and let Sammy get some exercise.  Mommy videoed Sammy walking so Dr. Klingborg could see it.  

I HATE cameras!  I ran and didn't want to be near her.  I acted all scared, and rolled over on my back.

Everyone says I am so cute, but I think you need to see me in person to appreciate it!


So, as soon as Mommy put the camera away, I did something adorable!  I found a large puddle of water in the grass, and RAN in it with my mouth open, like some kind of shark!  Made a HUGE splash, and even made strangers laugh at me...  but I'm smart- no evidence!  

Well, gotta go be cute some more!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Don't Wanna be away from my brothers!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/176010</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 7 Jul 2006 09:24:06 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/176010</guid>
		<description>Mommy tried to take me out to see the fireworks on the 4th, but I wasn't afraid of the fireworks, I  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mommy tried to take me out to see the fireworks on the 4th, but I wasn't afraid of the fireworks, I was afraid of not being with my brothers!

So, I got taken back home (we were only next door), and Sammy got to be the special boy.  I guess it was his turn.

Miss Nancy our neighbor watched us last night so Mommy and Daddy could go to a function.  I LOVE my Miss Nancy.  She will smell my butt, and let me wiggle... and she giggles at me!

Maybe I wrote this before, but I LOVE it when humans smell my butt!  

It isn't like it sounds.  Mommy is teaching all the right people how to do it.  You just put your face about 6 inches above my back, right in the middle, and make quick sniffy sounds!  All the while, the human must stay, "let me smell your butt"!  Makes me so happy I wanna keep wiggling!  I turn myself into a noodle and make a "U" out of myself!  

Isn't it great when you can train your humans?!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Mommy Fell off the Waggon</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/173103</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:06:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/173103</guid>
		<description>Mommy fell off he waggon.  She was in rehab for her Stuffie Addiction.

She went to the store, and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mommy fell off he waggon.  She was in rehab for her Stuffie Addiction.

She went to the store, and bought me 2 new ducks!  Now I have about 20!!!

I'm such a lucky girl!  

*wiggle*]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Special Trip!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/173099</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 30 Jun 2006 16:04:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/173099</guid>
		<description>This morning, Mommy took me in the little car she calls a Miata, to town.  She had to go to an offic ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning, Mommy took me in the little car she calls a Miata, to town.  She had to go to an office to sign some papers, and I had to go. I try to bite Sammy (only cause I am herding him, not hurting him) and it makes him mad.

It was so hot, and I was scared I wasn't with my brothers, but Mommy took me for a walk and was going to put me back in the car, and I tried to jump out...  so she took me in the office with her!!  I was as good as gold, and just layed there while they signed papers, and talked.  I didn't even make a peep, but I did QUACK my new DUCK!

When I got home, I was so happy to see my brothers!

Special time with Mommy is GREAT, but I love my whole pack!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Grr!  Paparazzi!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/172146</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 28 Jun 2006 15:05:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/172146</guid>
		<description>I just hate cameras!  Each time Mommy uses one, bad things happen.

First time Mommy used one, I w ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just hate cameras!  Each time Mommy uses one, bad things happen.

First time Mommy used one, I was at the shelter, hoping for a family.  

Then Mommy puts me in diapers (because of my leaking urine) and takes photos of how cute I am.

THEN Mommy takes photos of me in my e-collar!  Jeepers!

So, now, when Mommy takes out the camera, I run and hide.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Pillows!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/166861</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 16 Jun 2006 11:15:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/166861</guid>
		<description>Well, Mommy keeps trying to sleep, cause she had an operation last week... but I hate it when she la ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, Mommy keeps trying to sleep, cause she had an operation last week... but I hate it when she lays down and uses pillows!  

As soon as that happens, I have to jump on her face and wake her up!  or I'll gnaw on her feet until she plays with me...

If she is awake, then I'll sleep, but if the sun it up, so must Mommy be!

I even like to wake her up every night at least 3 times.  See, I have issues about pottying, and if I gotta go, I gotta go!

Mommy is good about it though... but she gets mad when I try to make Sammy and Mickey go too, even if they are asleep.  Hey, if a stranger is out back, I may need backup, right?

But when the sun starts to rise, then it is Daddy's turn to take us out... 

I have them pretty trained, but you gotta keep up the consistency to make them really learn how to sleep.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Duck Crazy!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/164559</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 Jun 2006 21:03:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/164559</guid>
		<description>So, you can see by my photo, I love DUCKS!  Not sure why, or how, but I sure do love them! 

I'm g ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So, you can see by my photo, I love DUCKS!  Not sure why, or how, but I sure do love them! 

I'm getting a bit stir crazy, and ready to have a run with my brothers and Mommy and Daddy.
I have the BEST Daddy in the world!  He plays with me, walks me, feeds me, and I just LOVE him!

Can't wait until tomorrow!  

By for now!

QUACK!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Happy Days!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/162495</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Jun 2006 09:49:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/162495</guid>
		<description>Well, today is a great day!  What a beautiful morning for Mommy to take us for a leash walk (I would ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, today is a great day!  What a beautiful morning for Mommy to take us for a leash walk (I would rather be free, but at least our pack is together), and then for a ride in the TRUCK to go to the store!

Sammy is still limping a bit, but MUCH better.  And Mickey has a tummy ache, but that is because Grammy gave us some cool chews she bought just for us...    and Mickey is a whimp!  I ate the whole thing in a few minutes, and he took 15!  Silly Bug!  Sammy took the longest and enjoyed it, but Sammy and My tummies are fine!  

Mommy is gonna make him eat white rice.  I love white rice!  Lucky Bug!

Well, woof atcha later!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I'm so mad, I could spit!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/162268</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 4 Jun 2006 16:23:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/162268</guid>
		<description>Mommy thought it would be funny if she put me in the swimming pool!  

Now, I know I'm a duck, but ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mommy thought it would be funny if she put me in the swimming pool!  

Now, I know I'm a duck, but ducks go in the water all by themselves, not because they HAVE to!

But she made up for it by fussing me, and drying me off with a nice clean soft towel.

Daddy may build our own pool with a beach access, so we can just walk in without steps or anything! 

Won't that be cool??

Well, stay cool, and I'll be woofin' atcha!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>This is a story of a little girl with lots of names!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/161120</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 1 Jun 2006 14:24:18 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Bernadette 02/05/04 - 09/25/08 ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/322538/diary/The_ducky_post/161120</guid>
		<description>Hi!
My name is Bernadette and I was adopted from the Merced County Animal shelter, well, after Mom  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hi!
My name is Bernadette and I was adopted from the Merced County Animal shelter, well, after Mom and DAd tried to foster me...

I started out being Bernadette Peters, which I still ams... with our last name, but they also call her
Bernie
BernieDuck
Duck Girl
Duckie
Duck Face
 oh, and Duckaroo!

Mommy calls us all Roo, because of our Australian ancestry, and the connections with Kangaroos...  Silly Mommy!

Mom and Dad say I am sooo sweet and silly.  Now, tell me if anyone else does this?:

I come at you with my head and butt going the same direction, and I want you to smell my butt (actually back, or leg will do, {humans are so funny about that}) and if you just make sniffy sounds, my entire body wiggles and I will show you my stuffy I will always have in my mouth.

It floors me how I was almost euthanized.  I can't tell you how many people have said they want me now that Mom and Dad have decided to keep me.  

I am camera shy, though.  Never used to be, but I am  now.

I is also slightly incontinent. >:-( 
Only happens when I am sleeping, not from being excited or squatting and going... I doesn't even know it is happening.  I am on PPA, and it is helping, but I gets up at least 3 times in the night to go out... poor Mommy.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

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