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<title>The Spelzer Chronicles</title>
<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles</link>
<description>Dogster diary for the dog Cosmic Isabel Roverandom</description>
<language>en</language>
<copyright>Copyright 2009 by Cosmic Isabel Roverandom &amp; Dogster</copyright>
<pubDate>Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:31:23 PST</pubDate>
<generator>Dogster Pet-o-matic Gennie - http://www.dogster.com</generator>
<ttl>360</ttl>

	<item>
		<title>It's Your Rebirthday</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/621357</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Sep 2009 20:52:31 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/621357</guid>
		<description>My Dearest Isabel,
        Today is your rebirthday; the first that has come since your passing and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Dearest Isabel,
        Today is your rebirthday; the first that has come since your passing and moving on to the rainbow bridge.  I've been so busy that I nearly forgot.  You would have celebrated your sixth rebirthday; the day you came home in the middle of a hurricane, and came on by storm into my life.

I love you so.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of you: your big smile, the way you greeted me when I came home, the way you were such a good big sister to Rosie, and how you would protect Moo Cow and Nora from Rosie's overly enthusiastic advances.  

I see so much of you in Shelly.  She shares your enthusiasm for everything, your expressive ears, and even your stubborn streak.  I hope you can feel it when I rub her belly.

Rosie still misses you I think.  She and Shelly aren't as tight as you too were, but they are getting closer and love to play some of the same games, though ring around hedge isn't as fun.  Shelly hasn't figured out that it's about the chase, not the actual catching, but still it's a good workout.

I miss everything about you, but most of all I just miss having you here.  You left me too soon my girl.  This empty space in my heart is never going to go away until we meet again.

I love you so my Shellies.  Watch over us, okay?  We still need you.

Happy Rebirthday love to you,

Your ever-lovin' Dad.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Tough Days But Good Days</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/554555</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 28 Jan 2009 20:02:51 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/554555</guid>
		<description>The first morning waking without Isabel brought a new round of uncontrolled sobbing, but also a clar ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The first morning waking without Isabel brought a new round of uncontrolled sobbing, but also a clarity of vision.  We have determined the best ways to honor the sweetest Shellies.  We will be sponsoring a kennel at her shelter in her memory.  With their board's approval we will set up a memorial fund to help people pay for training classes (especially appropriate with all the training I did with Isabel to help her get over her separation anxiety), and by saving a life.

While at the shelter yesterday to talk about the memorials we decided to visit the dogs.  We met one with that spark of pure joy that Isabel had.  We got to meet her in a private room.  She hugged and kissed us just like the Shellies did when I met her for the first time.  She chose us and there was nothing we could do about it accept fill out the paperwork and put down a deposit.  We also had her feline tolerance tested.  She passed with flying colors.

Of course Rosie had the right of refusal, just like Isabel did when I was getting ready to adopt Rosie.  We brought her to the shelter this morning for the meet up.  They got along right away.  Ellie (her shelter name), got a little rude with Rosie who gave a quick bark and snap to put her in her place.  Ellie was responsive and took her cue well, no fussing at all.  Then it was back to the sniffing and greeting.  We could tell Rosie really liked her because she wanted to follow Ellie when they took her to the visitation room.

So it turns out that by adopting Ellie we may be saving the lives of four dogs: Ellie, the dog who will be taking her place in the foster program, and the two dogs who will get spots in those open kennels.

I know that Isabel's tail is whirling like a propellor over that.

Our grief is still heavy, and it is hard just to see her picture, just as it was hard to come home from work today for the first time since she left.  That process will continue, and the hole in our hearts will always be there.  But knowing that Isabel's spirit will glow through our home with the joy and zest for life that Ellie has, just like Isabel's, will bring some much needed comfort to our pack, especially to Rosie who has never been without a sister since I've had her.

To her credit, Rosie has been a real godsend.  She still looks for Isabel when we go out and come inside, but she still leaps and dances for her dinner, still gives her hugs and kisses, and has been extra snuggly.  In many ways, she is being the strong one for us.

We should be taking her from the shelter on Friday, provided her surgery goes as scheduled.  Since she's such an exuberant pup (only 6 months old), and Rosie is such a playful one, Ellie is going to spend a few days recuperating in a quieter place, under medical supervision, from her spay surgery.  We'll get a few pictures up with a new page once she's officially ours.

It's a big leap of faith, but then so was getting Isabel.  We are deeply pained by her departure, but feel she is guiding this.  We feel so blessed to have been chosen by such a beautiful and spirited dog like Ellie.  We didn't think it would happen so soon, but I think the Shellies had other plans.

I also want to thank all our dear old friends who have been sending paw mail and presents.  We don't come here like we used to, but you are always in our thoughts and it's gratifying to see so many of you here.

We will respond later when things have quieted, and the tears slow up.  But know that your kind words mean so much to us.  We love you all.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>My Angel Dog Is Gone.  All Things Must Pass</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/553825</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 08:00:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/553825</guid>
		<description>I received a call yesterday afternoon from my girlfriend.  She was frantic and in tears.  She had le ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I received a call yesterday afternoon from my girlfriend.  She was frantic and in tears.  She had let my dogs out to go to the bathroom and play outside in the fenced yard in front of our house.  She went inside to use the bathroom.  In the few minutes there was someone came knocking on the door.  She dashed out to see who it was.  It was our next door neighbor who had brought the dead body of  Isabel Roverandom to our yard.  She had been struck by a car and killed instantly.  Our gates were closed.  There was no sign of them digging themselves out.  It is highly unlikely that they both managed to climb over the fence.  We suspect they might have been let out by some asshole in our neighborhood.  We just don't know.  

The only thing I do know is that my best friend, the sweetest most loving dog that has ever lived, was killed by someone speeding down our quiet street, who didn't even have the decency to stop.  Because of someone's desire to get somewhere, on our going to nowhere street, my dog is dead.  I will never get to snuggle her, or sleep with her, walk with her, or play with her again.

I am beside myself with grief.  I was supposed to have more time.  I was supposed to watch her grow old.  I was supposed to have my dog alive when I came home so she could jump all over me, and shower me with her hugs and kisses, which she did when we first met and she told me that I was going to be her dad.  Now she'll never be here to hug me again.

Rosie, who was also out, is unharmed physically.  I gave her chance to see Isabel's body.  She sniffed and kissed her, and growled some, wondering why she wouldn't get up.  I wept over her body for I don't know how long. 

She was my first dog.  She had terrible separation anxiety and required a lot of training, and medicine to help her get over it.  But adopting her Rosie is what really made the difference.  They healed each other.  Both had their issues; separation anxiety, and an early life of abuse and neglect.  They became fast friends, thick as thieves, as we all were in our pack.  Now one of us is gone, and my heart is broken.

We have made arrangements for her to be buried at a place she loved, and where we can visit her as much as we want.  We thought about burying her at our home, but nowhere is permanent and the thought of us moving away and leaving her with strangers is just something I couldn't live with.  She will be buried in a place of fond memories, grounds kept by people who cared for her and loved her.  

We have already decided that the best way to honor her is to begin, when we're ready, to foster dogs from the local shelter where Isabel was when I adopted her.  If we find one who fits our family, and is universally loved by all the furry members, then that dog will have a forever home with us.

Isabel, I love you with all my heart and soul and will always, but it will never compare to the love you gave to me.  You taught me more about myself than I could have ever learned on my own: the nature of love, and that even in a world populated by greedy, selfish, bastards who would just as soon slit your throat and burn your house down, there are souls on this earth who know no malice, who are devoid of guile, and who can touch our spirits and enliven us in ways we could not possibly have imagined.  You were one of those souls.  Your sister is as well.  If I ever encounter another with one tenth of your brilliance then I will consider myself blessed.

I love you more than words can tell, and that will never change.  Time heals all wounds they say, but no matter where I go, or what I do, the love you brought will remain with me.  And one day, we will meet again in that far green country, 'neath the swift sunrise.  

Travel safely my angel.  Watch over your sister, and all of us.  And if you can, beam some of that boundless love you gave into every living soul so that maybe this world will begin to turn around.

I love you.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What's a President To Do?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/434995</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 8 Mar 2008 17:00:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/434995</guid>
		<description>Well, as I stated before, I was endorsing Governor Bill Richardson for the Democratic Party's nomine ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, as I stated before, I was endorsing Governor Bill Richardson for the Democratic Party's nominee for President.  That didn't work out so well.  I really overestimated the American public.  I thought they'd be sick of Clintbama and would look at the more substantive candidates.  I was mistaken.  Now we're down to Obamamama and Hillary.

I looked at both candidates very carefully.  I read about their programs, platforms, and positions.  I still think Richardson was better, but he's out and you have to take what the defense gives you.

So who do I endorse?  Right now I'm going with Hillary.  I don't like Obama's idea that nuclear energy is what will help us reduce greenhouse emissions.  No one wants nuclear power plants built in their towns, and no one wants to have the waste buried in their backyards.  I consider anyone advocating nuclear power while there is no way to render the waste inert, and thus make it safe, to be a complete idiot (that means you Senator O).  I wondered how it could be that someone who seems to be relatively intelligent could advocate a non-starter solution like nuclear power.  So I did a little research.  I did not like what I found out.

Turns out that Barack Obama is in the pockets of the nuclear industry, specifically the Excelon Corp, the largest operators of nuclear power plants in the country.  They've given him lots and lots of money.  And one of their subsidiaries is a company based in Illinois.  But the plot thickens.

You know how Senator Obama is always talking about hope and change, and how he's going to break the influence of lobbyists in Washington, and that he doesn't take money from federal registered lobbyists and pacs?  Guess what?  He's not going to do anything about the lobbyists and pacs...because he's taking their money.  

That's right America, the Golden god of Change is a duplicitous liar and a fraud.  In an article that appeared in the LA Times last year it was well documented that Obama is getting plenty of money bundled by federal lobbyists.  He even has a few working on his campaign.  How does he get away with this?  They withdrew their registration as lobbyists.  They work for the same people and companies, but since they are not registered he can tell you that he's not getting the money from Registered lobbyists.  Unregistered lobbyists are fair game however.  He gets plenty of money from the law firms and corporations they work for, and from corporations with multimillion dollar lobbying operations in Washington DC (even from companies that had pending issues in Washington while he sat in the Senate.

He takes money from the lobbyists's wives, and their firms, and law firms that guarantee access through their political action committees.  He has faked out America, and with few exceptions like the LA Times, he has mostly gotten away with it.  So if you like Obama and want to vote for him, go right ahead.  But if you expect him to bring all this change, unify America, and break the corporate interests's control of Washington, then you better be prepared for a world of disappointment because it is NOT going to happen.  Sorry to burst the bubble.

Then we looked at Senator Clinton.  She is no girl scout.  I think we can all agree on that.  She's shrewd, cut throat, and fights to the death.  A lot of people equate the Clinton name with scandal and corruption.  But after all these years, after being investigated by the Republican sponsored witch hunt led by Grand Inquisitor Kenneth Starr, Senator Clinton was never implicated, indicted, or charged with any crimes.  There are no skeletons left in her closet.

Now an argument can be made that she is not displaying a great level of transparency.  Archivists at the Clinton Library are blocking the release of certain documents.  And she has not released her tax returns (though her campaign has said they will be made public around April 15th).  But in the end I can't say that I blame her for that.  The press has been swooning all over Obama for months.  When those documents are released the press won't be asking her about her platform or issues.  They will be asking about her taxes and the money she made; whether there is a story or not.  This would put her candidacy in jeopardy.

All that aside, I am pretty happy about a few things in her platform.  She has successfully linked (under the tutelage of Richardson) climate change, the green economny, energy independence, and national security.  I have contacted the Clinton campaign urging her to adopt the Richardson notion that we need an Apollo program style advance on these issues (language that she subsequently adopted).  If we can put a man on the moon in less than 10 years we can stop burning fossil fuels in 10 years.  Senator Obama is starting to talk about this, but he has no real plans that I've seen.  His website is a vast pile of platitudes with very little in the way of working solutions.  And a few of the plans he does have he ripped off from Senator Clinton.  That's probably why one of his most used lines in the last debate was, "I agree with Senator Clinton."

Another thing I like about Hillary is that despite the fact that many people in government, and the media, were calling for her to drop out, she hung in there, fought hard and won three very important primaries.  She didn't really move up much in the delegate hunt.  But she has garnered almost as many votes as Obama; which, in a race where neither candidate will be able to get the 2024 delegates needed to secure the nomination, means a lot.  I would put forward the notion that it is the candidate with the most popular votes, not delegates, that should get the nomination in August.  The Super Delegates should support that candidate, not the one who gains the most delegates (especially when states have different ways of determining how many delegates are awarded from each county/precinct.  I am also not very impressed with wins in caucus states since only relatively small numbers of people turn out for them.  Primaries are much more precise in telling us who is the more successful candidate.

So, though she may be flawed, I am leaning toward supporting Hillary.  But we are making plans to run if she doesn't get the nomination.  My press secretary, Moo Cow, is gearing up for running in the general election.  I have been thinking that i would rather take on an advisory role (it gives me more time for playing and belly rubbin').  But last night the Moo peed on Dad's very nice slippers that he got for his birthday.  It is possible that he will, as our campaign manager, decide to run me again in which case I would accept. 

We'll see.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Oy Vey!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/409661</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Jan 2008 07:22:30 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/409661</guid>
		<description>It's gonna be one of those days I guess.  

Rosie broke a nail, the same one I broke when we went  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's gonna be one of those days I guess.  

Rosie broke a nail, the same one I broke when we went to the beach.  Dad called the vet this morning to see if he could bring her in.  They've got her in a kennel right now.  They're gonna take a look at it and decide what to do about it.  There's a little flap of skin that they may want to remove, and they'll probably put her on antibiotics.  But Dad is nervous.  Rosie doesn't like having her feet messed with and he's afraid they might have to sedate her.  They'd use one of those injections with the antedote to knock her out and wake her back up.  Hopefully they won't have to do that, but Dad's still nervous.  I am too.  I don't know I would do without my Spreadles.  I love her so much.  I know it's a minor thing considering that there are dogs we know with cancer and other more serious problems.  But this is my sister and I worry about her so.  If you're reading this, please say a little prayer for my Rosie that she'll be okay.

Now on to politics.

I am VERY distressed about the outcome of the Iowa Caucus.  First, let's talk Huckabee.  I don't think I need to emphasize the fact that we don't need another Evangelical Christian supported President in the White House.  That's what we got with the Shrub, and we all know what a complete diasaster that was...  

I have a great deal of respect for his religious conviction, but I find it disingenuous for a man to say he can bring us all together when anyone with a brain knows he will come out with an anti choice, and anti gay stance on privacy and civil rights.  There is absolutely no way that he won't take those stances.  And in a country that was created to protect its minorities from the oppression of the majority there is no place for a President with those beliefs. 

We have a Constitutional, and Human right to practice the religion of our choice, to love whom we wish, and to make choices about our health and reproductive rights.  No one has the right to dictate policy on these issues in any way that impedes the ability of citizens to exercise their freedoms.  We've already had enough of our civil liberties removed by the Shrub under the Patriot Act.  We don't need another President who will continue to erode our Constitutional rights.

And besides, how is a President going to be taken seriously on the world stage with a name like Huckabee?  I just don't see it.  And electing a man who's named after a baseball glove isn't so great either.  No Mitts, no Huckabees.


I am equally displeased with the victory of Barack Obama.  I'm sorry, but he's a boy-man with no experience on the world stage, and with the world in the state it's in I don't think we give the keys to the Mercedes to the teenager who still has a provisional license.  Did you know that he chairs the Subcommittee for European Affairs?  This is a subcommittee of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.  He was given this post so he would have the opportunity to fatten his resume in foreign policy since he has ZERO experience in the area.  Guess what?  He has not convened the committee once since he got the position.  Nor has he travelled to Europe to meet any leaders there.  Nor has he met with any European ambassadors here.  I guess he's too busy listening to Oprah tell him how he'll be the best President ever.  I think I may vomit.  This is a man whose most recorded votes in the Illinois State Senate is "present."  He didn't even vote yay or nay on a majority of issues.  He just wanted everyone to know he was there.  I've visited his website and I'm still looking for one concrete plan of action, something that says, "This is what needs to happen, and this is how I'm going to do it."  He talks a lot about what needs to happen, but he hasn't got a clue as to how to do it.  In these uncertain times, when nuclear powers like Pakistan are on the brink of self destruction and al quaida is in the mountains with the taliban waiting to make its move, and have access to nuclear materials, the last person we need in the White House is a boy-man foreign policy novice.  He should stay in the Senate and serve Illinois, and prove that he is worthy of the office.

Thank dog that Bill Richardson hasn't dropped out of the race yet.  As I've said before, he is the only candidate in either party who has been a chief executive at home, served in the Congress, and was a foreign diplomat.  If it wasn't for him the North Koreans would still have an active nuclear reactor.  He's pro environment, he's cut taxes, he's balanced his state's budget, he's raised the minimum wage, he's guaranteed access to health care for every child in New Mexico 5 years old or younger, and the list goes on.  He has policy positions that can work, and more importantly he will admit when something isn't working.  He knows he's not perfect, but rather than evade the issue he will tell you that he needs consultation.  He has shown good judgement at home and abroad and is the only person running that I feel is capable of leading the United States when I leave office.

Here's an example of the respect that Richardson has with foreign leaders.  This was released yesterday.

MANCHESTER, NH-- Former Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif called New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson earlier today and thanked him for supporting immediate democracy in Pakistan.

Prime Minister Sharif and Governor Richardson discussed the modalities of an immediate transition to democracy in Pakistan and the steps necessary to guarantee free and fair elections.

"I think our national security is enhanced, not threatened, when we are true to our principles as Americans," Richardson said. "We supported the Shah of Iran until the bitter end and now our greatest national security threat is Iran. We supported the apartheid regime in South Africa, greatly harming our interests in the entire third world. And we supported numerous dictatorships in South America, making us pariahs in our own Hemisphere.

"You need a long-term strategic vision to protect our national security, not more foreign policy myopia."

Ya think that Sharif is calling Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, or Barack Obama?  No he's not.

Check out Governor Richardson's website.  Read about his policies, and his accomplishments.  If you read what he has to say, listen to his speeches, and find out about his life story and still don't think he should be President then I can't help you.

http://www.richardsonforpresident.com/home

Watch the Democratic debate tonight.  Hopefully he'll actually be asked some questions.  The media crowns the winners with the most money.  Don't let them tell you who the winners are.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Go Iowa Go!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/408742</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Jan 2008 18:45:17 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/408742</guid>
		<description>I really really want Bill Richardson to do well at the Iowa Caucus tomorrow night.  Why?  Because he ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I really really want Bill Richardson to do well at the Iowa Caucus tomorrow night.  Why?  Because he's the only Democrat whose nomination will actually keep me from running for reelection as President.  Why?  Because he could actually do the job.  

He's a two term governor who has raised the minimum wage, increased teacher salaries, balanced his state's budget, reduced New Mexico's greenhouse emissions, provided health insurance for New Mexico's neediest kids, helped create jobs and stimulate the economy.

He was also an ambassador to the UN, Secretary of Energy, a 7 term Congressman, and  5 time Nobel Prize nominee.  He's met and negotiated with everyone under the sun, helped convince the North Koreans to shut down their nuclear reactor, secured the release of American hostages in various hot spots...do I need to go on?  

He's far and away more qualified to be President than anyone running, Republican or Democrat, and is respected on the world stage.  He's also said he'd make the Bureau of Indian Affairs a Cabinet level position (Dad says that's long overdue), and most importantly--he loves animals.  This is a guy I would love to see in the White House.  

Of course if he doesn't get the nomination this summer then I will run again.  But I really don't want to...I just want to go back to being a dog again.  So don't screw me over Iowa!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>An End of Year Note from Dad</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/404838</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 23 Dec 2007 11:19:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/404838</guid>
		<description>Dear Isabel,
 
        2007 has been a pretty good year for you my Shellies.  I know it took a whi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dear Isabel,
 
        2007 has been a pretty good year for you my Shellies.  I know it took a while to get used to life without your mom.  You had trouble understanding why she wasn't with us anymore; why she would come to visit, but not stay.  But you learned to accept it and move on as I did.  Everything happens for a reason, though we don't always see the whyfors until further down the road, if ever.

Then Mama San came on the scene.  You accepted her immediately with all the love and slobbery kisses you could muster.  You weren't sure about the cats that ended up being part of the package, but you accepted them too, and still hold out hope that Mama Cat will learn to love you (don't count on it kid).

You got to visit Athens Georgia and gave the Five Points neighborhood a dose of mayhem Belzer style, escaping from Mama San's house taunting the neighbor's dogs, and then doing a meet and greet with every home in the neighborhood with a dog.  Your escapes, and lack of desire to be recalled are your achilles heel, but Rosie does her best to help us track you down.  You finally surrendered to Mama San, rolling over on your back in the gutter of the busy street.  You don't seem to care about how much this terrifies me as you know that you will receive heaps of love and affection born out of the relief of knowing that you were not run over, dognapped, or lost.  You were still a VERY NAUGHTY DOG!

Then you got the news that you were getting a new home, again.  Your third in four years.  We left the big fenced yard, and the park across the street, for a new home with Mama San.  The yard is smaller, and the park visits require a drive, but again, you have accepted it all with grace.  And the perks that come with it have been some compensation.  The bedroom is no longer off limits, and you and your sister now get to reclinate on the super amazingly comfortable new queen size bed (contrary to Cesar Milan's theory of dog oppression this has not instilled in you or your sister the notion that you are the head of the house).  There is also the fireplace which has already been the scene of comfort and joy this winter.  Hopefully, in the not too distant future the backyard will be fenced and once again you will have further to fly.  

The food front brought on more changes for you this year.  Having relied on Timberwolf Organics for nearly 3 years as the basis of your diet, we found out that we had been betrayed.  The company misrepresented their product and, rather than apologize and make it right, they decided to spew a laundry list of contradictory lies that left me with the unshakeable feeling that they could no longer be trusted with your health (the added crap ingredients made the change the real necessity).  So once again we have changed foods.  I turned to the Honest Kitchen.  You have been enjoying the home cooked style meals, and are thriving.  You've also been very happy about the added treats that have returned; Evanger's 100% meats, and the Nature's Variety medallions.  As time goes on, and I feel more confident about it, you'll start getting more homecooked meals and snacks.  I know you're not happy about the fact that The Honest Kitchen gave money to the HSUS this month, but as long as it was a one time only deal I think we can live with it.  If it happens again I will seriously have to question the judgement of the company as it seems illogical to support a multimillion dollar lobbying group who ultimately wants them out of business and all their customers dead.

And of course there was our trip to Ocracoke.  The house we stayed in was not as cozy as previous trips to the Outer Banks, but it did the job.  Sadly you tore a nail very badly the second day we were there.  Fortunately it was not really serious, and the visiting vet took care of you.  Unfortunately it meant that you didn't get to go to the beach much at all the whole week, and your one visit was cut short due to the sudden arrival of cold blusteriness that drove us off the beach and back to the house.  Though you were obviously disappointed, you still accepted what the defense gave you and enjoyed the long walks around the island, and copious belly rubbin's, and reveled  in the uninterrupted time we got to spend together as a family.

As the year turns I want to tell you that I love you my muffin stuffins more than my words, toys, treats, hugs, kisses, and rubs will ever express.  You are my angel dog, my companion, my friend, and I will love you eternally...even when you stubbornly refuse to take a dump and make me walk you around the neighborhood making me late for work just so you can find the perfect spot to drop your payload.  

Happy New Year my Shellies!

Love,
Dad]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>What's Goin' On</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/402001</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 16 Dec 2007 12:11:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/402001</guid>
		<description>It's been a jolly time for me.  I have a new home with a new awesome bed to sleep on.  We have a coz ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's been a jolly time for me.  I have a new home with a new awesome bed to sleep on.  We have a cozy fireplace to cuddle up by.  Dad installed a new fire screen with glass doors and made some nice warm fires last week when it was super cold at night.

The nail I tore on Ocracoke has healed up.  I'm back to my regular run around in the yard.  Let's see what else...the new food is great.  We stopped eating Timberwolf Organics 'cause they started putting yucky stuff in the food that we don't want to eat.  We're also pretty sure they lied about some things too.  They didn't even tell their retailers about the changes to their food.  We can't eat food made by a company that we don't trust.

Now we're eating The Honest Kitchen.  We're on the Thrive formula right now.  We're gonna try the Embark too. We got a great email from Jenna over at THK and she answered all our questions about their food.  It has no ethoxyquin, BHA/BHT, sodium selenite, corn, whey, soy, beet pulp, tomato pumace, or any other crap we don't like.

Our pal Francis Rocks informed us that they gave their December pawlanthropy gift to the HSUS.  We hate the HSUS because they think everyone should be vegan (veganism and dogs don't mix), and they think that companion animals should be made extinct.  We're not sure why a company that makes food for dogs and cats with meat in it would give money to an organization like HSUS, especially since HSUS already makes millions of dollars.  We emailed Lucy Postins at THK to let her know that we're not happy that they gave HSUS money, and hope that this is not an ongoing relationship.  We're not going to buy food from a company that makes a habit out of giving money to a group like that.  Francis won't buy their products anymore because of it.  We're waiting to see what kind of response we get from THK about it.  If they assure us that they will never give to them again, or PETA, then we'll keep on buying their food.  So far we really like their food, and since Dad doesn't have the time to make us homemade meals right now (he and Mama San are still settling in to our new home), THK is the perfect solution.  We've heard about Grandma Lucy's True which is also dehydrated.  They have a lamb formula.  Since we love lamb we'll probably get that too.  And if THK turns out to be dyed in the wool PETA and HSUS lovers then we might start eating G'ma Lucy's and drop THK.  I hope not, I really LOVE their food.  It's so wholesome and tasty.  They are also moving to using more organic ingredients and cruelty free meats.  We like the sound of that.

As far as Presidential things go, I've been takin' it pretty easy.  We're still undecided about whether I'm going to run again.  That will depend on who gets nominated by the parties.  I'll be honest, being President is not all it's cracked up to be.  Sure you get to fly around in Air Force One and Marine One, and the power and prestige is cool.  But it's a lot of work and stress and quite frankly, a dog has better things to do with her time than take care of a bunch of idiot humans who seem to be really good at screwing things up.  I hope I've helped change that a little.  It's an uphill battle that's for sure.

I'm also working on my list of pardons.  So far I plan on pardoning all the members of the Naughty Pup Club, including Rosie, even though she ate a condom out of the trash and pooped it out her butt in the front yard (GROSS!).  I love her, but sometimes she can be sooooo stupid.  I don't plan on pardoning any humans though, especially Michael Vick.  I can't believe he only got 23 months, but at least he got some time.  Hopefully he'll get the book thrown at him for the state charges.  I hate dog fighters.

All in all everything is pretty darn good.  We're counting our blessings and not taking anything for granted.  

Happy Holidays everybody!!!  And may the new year be filled with on good health and good things for everyone!!!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Back to the Vet</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/388376</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 12 Nov 2007 12:43:43 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/388376</guid>
		<description>Today was my annual physical.  My vet says I'm a very healthy dog.  My skin looks good, my teeth loo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today was my annual physical.  My vet says I'm a very healthy dog.  My skin looks good, my teeth look much cleaner (thanks to the PetzLife Oral Care Gel), and my heart and lungs sound good.  I also tested negative for heartworms and lyme disease.  My erlichea titer is still showing up, but it's so faint you can barely see it.  My doctor said that she has consulted the local infectious disease unit at the vet school and they have said that these titers can last for a long time, even after treatment with antibiotics.  Since the titer is so faint, and my last test was two years ago, she's not concerned which is a mixed bag because taking pills means peanut butter.  But I guess I'd rather be healthy.

I also got my leptospirosis/parvo/distemper vaccine.  Leptospirosis is a nasty bacterial infection that requires annual boosters.  Dad was a little concerned about reactions from it, but they said that's really only a concern for small dogs.  Also, the vaccination being used now only contains the antigens, not the bacteria, so it's a lot less worrisome.

I was a pretty good patient considering all the poking and prodding.  I also had to get my temperature taken in the butt and get a fecal test with the swabby thing in the butt...rapture.  But I got lots of treats, and was mostly cooperative.  I'm a healthy dog.  YAY!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Phew!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/378949</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Oct 2007 08:02:01 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/378949</guid>
		<description>I saw my vet and she said not to worry about the lump.  She said it's an autoimmune reaction to the  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I saw my vet and she said not to worry about the lump.  She said it's an autoimmune reaction to the rabies shot I got last week.  She said it happens in about 10% of dogs.  She said that I probably had a similar reaction to the muscular vaccine, but since it was in the muscle the lump wasn't noticeable,  She said it should start shrinking and be completely gone in a couple months.  It's already shrinking.  Needless to say I am most relieved, as is the rest of the family.  We were a little freaked out there.

Thank you to everybody for the prayers, kind words, and rosettes.  We really appreciate it.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>I Have a Lump</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/378377</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:47:06 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/378377</guid>
		<description>Dad found a lump under my skin on my back this afternoon.  It's about the size of a nickel and kind  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad found a lump under my skin on my back this afternoon.  It's about the size of a nickel and kind of flat.  We think it's either a fatty tumor, or some kind of reaction from my rabies shot that I got last week.  I have an appointment with my vet tomorrow morning.  Hopefully it's nothing and I'll be find.  Dad is of course a nervous wreck.  Me, I just want more cookies, but I have to admit that I'm a little worried too.  I'm only 6 years old and I have a lot of living to do.  So please say a little prayer for me that this is just nothing scary.  I'll let you know what happens.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Oh my valve!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/356067</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Aug 2007 19:49:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/356067</guid>
		<description>It's been so long since I've written.  Where to start...let's see...We've relocated the Southern Whi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's been so long since I've written.  Where to start...let's see...We've relocated the Southern White House.  Dad has moved us in with New Mama and her 2 cats.  That brings the mischpucha to 8 including the humans.  The new cats are Big Mama (I'm not kidding...she's huge, and doesn't like Dad very much...maybe it's the fat jokes) and Banjo.  Rosie's in love with him.  It's pretty pathetic really.  I just like the fact that we have a pawsome queen size bed.

What else...I'm working on having Michael Vick deported to Sweden.  He claims he's not from there, but I don't give a poop.  I'm the President and so there.  It's not like I'm trying to have him sent to Guantanamo.  Though I would like to slather his naughty bits with Alpo and put him in the ring with some of his dogs, but Rosie says that is against the law.  Maybe I need to run for undisputed ruler of planet Earth...]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Period of Transition</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/233889</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Nov 2006 07:48:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/233889</guid>
		<description>I haven't been here for a while.  Things are in flux here at the White House.  Obviously, with a new ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I haven't been here for a while.  Things are in flux here at the White House.  Obviously, with a new Congress there are meetings, lines of sycophantic hoards waiting to sniff my bottom, etc.  I'll tell you this much, Nancy Pelosi has given me a lot more treats than Denny Hastert ever did--what a surprise.

There are other changes going on that I won't get into here, but they are positive.  It's just taking some time to get used to it.

I had my physical yesterday.  I'm in good shape overall.  I had some tartar on my teeth that they popped off.  I handled it pretty well.  I had to get a shot too, but I didn't fuss.  My doc also says I need to drop 4-5 pounds so I have to get smaller portions at meal time, and less snacks  RATS!  I also have to get a little more exercise.  How will I be able to handle that without my snacks I ask you!

Anyhoo, things are lookin' pretty good overall, despite all the changes.  Can't complain.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ya smell that?  It's the winds of change!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/229795</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 8 Nov 2006 07:21:35 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/229795</guid>
		<description>That's right you Republican fascists.  YOU LOSE!!!  Now at last we can get some real law making acco ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ That's right you Republican fascists.  YOU LOSE!!!  Now at last we can get some real law making accomplished.  We're going to move forward with genetic research that will lead to wonderful new things like trees that sprout chicken jerky and not toxic chocolate.  Not to mention making poo smell like flowers.  I want to extend personal congratulations to Bob Casey Jr., Ed Rendell, and the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania for getting rid of that insane fascist douchebag, Rick Sanitarium.  Governor Ed we wish you luck as you continue to take on Pennsylvania's puppy mills.  Grind those Amish dog killers into the ground.

I also want to congratulate Senator Claire for defeating Jim Talent in the great "Show Me" state of Missouri.  She has promised to shut down that state's puppy mills too.  Go get 'em Claire!

But most of all I can't wait to hear all of the nambypamby Republican excuse making.  Tom "Family Values doesn't apply to Republican Sex Perverts and I didn't put that money in my butt, or illegally gerrymander those districts in Texas," Delay is already whining on CNN.  "The Democrats didn't win, the Republicans lost."  What the hell does that mean?!?  I'll tell you what it means.  The Republicans are a bunch of  whining, sore loser fascists who have spent the last 6 years ignoring the needs of the middle class, shoving a fat bloated deficit down our throats, while overseeing (or not) the most poorly managed military conflict since Vietnam, and further jeopardizing our national security by not implementing the 9/11 Commission's recommendations, and giving fat tax breaks to the rich.  What all this means to all you so-called do gooders who got sucked in my the "Christian Values" crap they were dishing (bet you feel a little foolish now with all the sex perversion and gayness coming out...but as we all know now, it's okay to be gay if you're Republican--it's the Democratic Gays that have to be deported to concentration camps), is that you got duped into allowing the Republican party to do exactly what it has planned since Ronald Reagan took office in 1980:  Cripple the federal government with deficits so large that social programs are destroyed and the only thing it can do is give financial advantages to the rich and wage war.  If you don't believe me you can go ask Grover Norquist.  He'll tell you all about it.

But now at least there's a Congress I can work with.  Full speed ahead with the Atomic Pooper Collider and all my other animal welfare plans.  And don't worry...if the Democrats get out of line I'll pee on them too.  I am an Unaffiliated Dog after all.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hat Trick!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/221339</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 18 Oct 2006 16:11:45 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/221339</guid>
		<description>Today I pooped the trifecta.  It was raining yesterday.  I hate pooping in the rain...makes my poop  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today I pooped the trifecta.  It was raining yesterday.  I hate pooping in the rain...makes my poop chute all wet--YUCK!  So I held it in all day and all night.  Needless to say (why do humans use that expression?  They say "needless to say" but then they say it anyway...humans are stupid) this morning I took a ride on the Poopy Express.  I dropped a pile in my usual morning spot.  Then I let loose another one in the backyard this afternoon.  Then Dad took us for our after dinner walk and sho 'nuff I dropped a third turd.  Dad didn't take a bag so he had to borrow one from Lily's mom.  I hate poopin' in the rain...needless to say!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Flyers Suck!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/221255</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:33:44 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/221255</guid>
		<description>Good grief!!!  Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse the Flyers get pounded, creamed, crus ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Good grief!!!  Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse the Flyers get pounded, creamed, crushed, humiliated, crapped on, decimated, obliterated, disintegrated....9-1 by the Buffalo Sabres.  Now granted, they are the best team in the NHL right now, but I mean, come on!  For the life of me I can't figure out why Coach Hitchcock put Esche in the net.  HE SUCKS!!!  For those of you who didn't read that loud and clear I'll say it again--HE SUCKS!!!  Why would you put him in the net for the toughest game of the season, so we could all see how bad he sucks?!?!  But let's not lay the blame squarely on Esche.  It's not as if there was any defense to be seen.  I won't be as hard on the offense.  Let's face it Miller has got to be one of the best net minders in the League right now.  There is no doubt about it.  But that doesn't get the offense off the hook.  The offense sucked.  So let's get this spelled out so there is no confusion.  Esche sucks.  The defense sucks.  The offense sucks.  But who haven't I mentioned as sucking yet?  Could it be......KEN HITCHCOCK?  Yeah fat man, you suck too.  Why are you putting Petr Nedved on waivers and sending him to the Phantoms?  He's one of our most experienced players.  Okay, it's his first season with the Flyers, but the guy can play.  Ken, if this is your attempt at convincing us that you're doing something to try and get the team out of the Eastern Conference toilet, guess what?  We're not buying it.  You suck!

For all that is holy about Flyers hockey I implore Bob Clarke to come out of the GM's office and coach this team.  PLEASE!!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Wow Canes!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/220618</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 16 Oct 2006 19:36:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/220618</guid>
		<description>The Canes are a rockin'!  They crushed the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-1.  Cam the man had some pawsome sa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Canes are a rockin'!  They crushed the Tampa Bay Lightning 5-1.  Cam the man had some pawsome saves and almost had the shutout.  They are primed for this week's trip to thawing Buffalo.

Speaking of Buffalo.  The Flyers are playing the Sabres tomorrow night.  It's payback time!

GO FLYERS!!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Finally!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/220616</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 16 Oct 2006 19:34:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/220616</guid>
		<description>Looks like we're finally getting movement on the Dog Fighting bill here on Dogster.  It finally made ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Looks like we're finally getting movement on the Dog Fighting bill here on Dogster.  It finally made it to the Dogster blog, and dogs are writing in numbers letting us know they've joined the fight.  Our hats are off to Joy at the blog who took the time to thoroughly document Chairman's Sensenbrenner's hypocrisy.  

I've always thought that he was a rotten cheese head.  Now we all know why.

Thanks to everyone who has answered the call to take this on and make it an issue.  You are the real heroes!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Let's Get The Dog and Cock Fighting Bill Moving</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219922</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:46:10 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219922</guid>
		<description>Attorney General Rosie Moondog and I have been barking about this in the forums.  But since I'm a di ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Attorney General Rosie Moondog and I have been barking about this in the forums.  But since I'm a diary pick today I figured why not bark about it here too.  There is a bill in the House Judiciary Committee that would strengthen existing dog and cock fighting legislation that is being held up by the Committee Chairman, Jim Sensenbrenner.  He feels that protecting dogs and chickens isn't as important as doing nothing about national security, immigration, the in Iraq, etc.  

As President, no one understands the importance of these issues more than me.  But the truth is that this DoNothing Congress isn't dealing with any of them.  So why then is Chairman Sensenbrenner holding up this bill?  I'll tell you why.  Because the Congressional midterm elections are coming up and he  doesn't want voters to look at the DoNothing Republican Congress and say, "Hey these buttwipes haven't done anything about Iraq, national security, or immigration but they passed a dog and cock fighting bill.  They don't have their priorities straight."

This is where you come in my fellow American dogs.  You need to let Chairman Sensenbrenner know that this legislation is a priority to you.  Even though dog fighting is illegal in all 50 states there are many loopholes in the laws.  The bill before the Judiciary Committee would close these loopholes.  This bill would make it illegal to import and transport fighting animals and equipment from outside the country and across state lines.  It will also give law enforcement officials greater latitude in apprhending humans involved in this heinous practice.

How does this bill affect you?  Tell your humans to think about how awful it would be if you were kidnapped and used as bait in the dog fighting ring.  It happens in this country every day.  Dog and cock fighting needs to be stopped now.  Not after the election.  Not next year.  NOW!

What follows is a report from pet-abuse.com on the goings on at Capitol Hill.

"A bill to toughen penalties for cockfighting and dogfighting sponsored by Rep. Mark Green is being held up in the House Judiciary Committee by chairman and fellow Wisconsin Republican Jim Sensenbrenner.

"I have spoken to Chairman Sensenbrenner and we don't agree on the importance of this issue," Green said in a statement. "Animal fighting is wrong, and we need to take steps to enhance penalties for those who do it."

However, Sensenbrenner, of Menomonee Falls, says Congress has too many other important priorities to worry about, such as border security, terrorist tribunals and wiretapping laws.

The Animal Fighting Prohibition Enforcement Act of 2005 would increase the penalties for "buying, selling, delivering, or transporting" animals across state lines or from other countries for the purpose of fighting. The proposed legislation would change the crime from a misdemeanor to a felony, punishable by up to two years in jail.

Green's bill, which was first introduced on Feb. 15, 2005, has 324 co-sponsors in the House, nearly 75% of the body. The Senate passed the bill last year.

Green, a candidate for governor from Green Bay, said he was "committed to trying to get this bill passed as soon as possible" and he already had spoken with House Speaker Dennis Hastert and Majority Leader John Boehner about getting the bill onto the House floor.

In a statement, Sensenbrenner said, "Animal fighting is an abhorrent practice but is best handled by those already working to combat its practice - state and local officials." However, the statement does not specifically say how he would vote on Green's bill.

Asked how the chairman would vote on the issue, Jeff Lungren, a spokesman for the House Judiciary Committee, said he could not elaborate on the issue and referred reporters to Sensenbrenner's statement.

Cockfighting already is banned in every state except Louisiana and New Mexico, and dogfighting is banned in every state.

The bill's supporters are trying to bypass Sensenbrenner and bring the bill to the House floor under "suspension," a procedure that allows bills to come up for limited debate and requires a two-thirds vote for passage.

On Monday, the Humane Society of the United States appealed to Boehner to schedule a vote.

Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of the Humane Society, said that by not scheduling a vote on the bill in his committee, Sensenbrenner is "trying to kill this bill."

Pacelle said Sensenbrenner "may claim to be an opponent, but for whatever reason he is doing the bidding of the dogfighting and cockfighting industry," and he called Sensenbrenner's actions "unconscionable."

However, Sensenbrenner said that in light of so many other pressing issues, "trying to ram through animal-fighting legislation with these issues outstanding would win the prize for 'misplaced priorities.' "

Pacelle and many of the bill's supporters in Congress rejected Sensenbrenner's argument that Congress did not have the time to take up the issue. They argue that cockfighting is tied to many different kinds of illegal activity, including illegal immigration, money laundering and drug running.

Kevin Madden, a spokesman for Boehner, said the bill will not be brought to the floor this week and that no decision had been made on scheduling a vote."

* * * * *

We need to flood Sensnebrenner's office with emails, letters, and phone calls urging him to stop doing the bidding of dogfighters and start making fighting these crimes a priority. If he's so concerned about drugs, security, and immigration then he needs to deal with this issue as it is tied to all of them.

Here is Representative Sensenbrenner's Contact Information

sensenbrenner@mail.house.gov

Washington Office:
2449 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-4905
Phone: (202) 225-5101
Fax: (202) 225-3190

Main District Office:
120 Bishops Way, Ste. 154
Brookfield, WI 53005
Phone: (262) 784-1111
Fax: (262) 784-9437

AND PLEASE CONTACT CONGRESSMAN GREEN.  THANK HIM FOR HIS EFFORTS TO GET THIS LEGISLATION PASSED.

mark.green@mail.house.gov

Washington Office:
1314 Longworth House Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20515-4908
Phone: (202) 225-5665
Fax: (202) 225-5729

And if you're interested in helping to lobby for stronger abuse/cruelty laws and other related issues then please join my Animal Abuse Commission.  We are the largest advocacy group on Dogster.com and we need your help.  We want abusers to do time for the first crime, and we want to help you fight abuse in your neighborhood, city, and state.  Go to: 

http://www.dogster.com/group/grp_page.php?g=1536"

Request an invitation today!

Main District Office:
700 East Walnut St.
Green Bay, WI 54301
Phone: (920) 437-1954
Fax: (920) 437-1978]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Flyers Lose.  Canes Win!!!  Eagles vs Saints</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219921</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 15 Oct 2006 07:45:12 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219921</guid>
		<description>Don't you feel better knowing that the President loves sports?  

Sadly the Flyers lost 3-2 to the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Don't you feel better knowing that the President loves sports?  

Sadly the Flyers lost 3-2 to the oh so hated New Jersey Devils last night.  Not shocking considering Philly's record playing NJ in the Swamp.  But still they came out looking sharp and impressive, scoring twice, and being much more effective on the power play.  I think the boys are building something good here.  This will only improve with Rathje's return on defense this coming week.  I am very optimistic.  But we do need to pick things up offensively, but we are improving.

Speaking of improving...how 'bout those Carolina Hurricanes?  They dominated a young, athletic Pittsburgh Penguins team last night.  They are finally starting to gel, having gotten some of the bad blood out of their systems by beating the crap out of each other in practice last week, and finally getting a couple wins under their belts.  Coach Pete's juggling of the lines has paid off.  The boys are building a lot momentum on this tough road trip.  The real test will be against Meaty's undefeated Sabres.

Eagles Football:  It's the Saints today.  Coming off the dominating win against Dallas last week I expect Donovan and the boys to be feeling their oats and not be intimidated by the N.O. feel good  show.  It should be an excellent game.  

E-A-G-L-E-S    GO EAGLES!!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part IX</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219642</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 11:02:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219642</guid>
		<description>We were finally home.  Rosie was a little PO'ed that she didn't get to come.  I didn't want her blow ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We were finally home.  Rosie was a little PO'ed that she didn't get to come.  I didn't want her blowing my chances at the contest with a tantrum.  And besides, Dad can't deal with both of us at the store.  But she's forgiven me since I didn't get any treats (that I told her about).  Five finalists will be picked at the beginning of November.  It sure would be nice to be chosen as a finalist.  But with over 200 entries I bet it will be hard to chose 5 to be the best.  Well, here's hopin'!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part VIII</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219640</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:59:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219640</guid>
		<description>Then we got in the car and headed home.  The drive home was much nicer than the one to the second Pe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Then we got in the car and headed home.  The drive home was much nicer than the one to the second Petco.  Lots of trees and stuff.  Dad drove me by the neighborhood he used to live in.  I saw the house where he used to live, and where he found Nora and The Moo.  He doesn't go by there much because it makes him sad.  Two of his cats still live there with someone he refers to as Gollum.  He doesn't talk about her much.  Then we headed home.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part VII</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219638</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:56:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219638</guid>
		<description>Then we left the store.  We made our final goodbyes to the shelter ladies.  I hope they are helping  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Then we left the store.  We made our final goodbyes to the shelter ladies.  I hope they are helping pick the winners.  They'll vote for me I'm sure.  Then I sniffed another dog.  It was some kind of hound mix.  Pretty nice dog, but nowhere as pretty as me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part VI</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219637</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:54:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219637</guid>
		<description>This was great!  I was in my second Petco of the day.  We walked around the store.  We checked out t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This was great!  I was in my second Petco of the day.  We walked around the store.  We checked out the toys.  Then the chews.  I sniffed all of them.  Dad said he had bully sticks for me at home so he wasn't buying any (rats!).  Then we went to look at collars.  Dad wanted to see if they had any other hockey collars.  They have Flyers collars at the PetsMart.  But there were no hockey collars at Petco.  Then Dad saw something that almost made him cry tears of joy:  Nature's Miracle Laundry detergent.  Now he doesn't have to waste the liquid in the washing machine.  He was happy.  I wasn't.  I wanted treats and didn't get squat.  But I did get a cookie at the register.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part V</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219635</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:50:58 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219635</guid>
		<description>Dad got me out of the car.  We saw the table outside the store.  We were in the right place.  All th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad got me out of the car.  We saw the table outside the store.  We were in the right place.  All the ladies just ooohed and aaahed over me.  "There's the next Spokesdog right here," one of them said.  They just kept saying how pretty I was and how sweet.  I was on my best behavior.  I got a couple of cookies (in your face Rosie!).  And I met a very handsome dog named Luke who might be as close as I'll get to meeting Vincent.  Dad gave them my application and photo and Rosie's essay.  They thought the essay was great (thanks Rosie).  Then Dad paid the entrance fee.  Then we went inside.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part IV</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219634</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:46:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219634</guid>
		<description>We got back in the car and headed to the other Petco.  The drive wasn't quite as nice, but it was st ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We got back in the car and headed to the other Petco.  The drive wasn't quite as nice, but it was still great bein' in the car just me and my dad like the old days.  After a short while we arrived at the other Petco.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part III</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219633</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:45:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219633</guid>
		<description>We looked around the store but there was no sign of anyone from the shelter there.  We walked around ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We looked around the store but there was no sign of anyone from the shelter there.  We walked around the whole store.  Then Dad realized he made a stupid mistake.  We were at the wrong Petco!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part II</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219632</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:44:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219632</guid>
		<description>Dad drove down to the Petco.  It was a lovely ride along wooded lanes, through a lovely neighborhood ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad drove down to the Petco.  It was a lovely ride along wooded lanes, through a lovely neighborhood.  We were jammin' out to the classical music station.  Then we arrived at the Petco.  There were a bunch of dogs in a pen out front, but no table for the contest.  We went inside.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Entered the Contest Part I</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219629</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 10:41:54 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219629</guid>
		<description>Our shelter is having a contest to pick the new Spokesdog and Spokescat for 2007.  I would have ente ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Our shelter is having a contest to pick the new Spokesdog and Spokescat for 2007.  I would have entered the Spokescat contest, but that would just be pushin' it.  So this morning Dad printed out my application, filled it in, printed up the essay that Rosie wrote and attached my picture.  Then Dad took me for a walk so I could make a poopy.  It was my first solo walk in a really long time.  Then he put me in the car and we were off.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Box from Portia</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219576</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 07:37:09 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219576</guid>
		<description>Portia and her mummy sent us cookies in the mail all the way from England!  They are the best fricki ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Portia and her mummy sent us cookies in the mail all the way from England!  They are the best frickin' cookies we've ever had!  Rosie suggested invading England in order to get more cookies.  I had to tell her that we're allies and that we don't invade allies, unless they have oil or something.  She responded by sayin', "That's crap!"  I told her I'd talk to the Queen about a trade agreement where we'd exchange cookies for cowboy hats.  I think the British need to wear more cowboy hats.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>APS Spokesdog Contest</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219567</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 07:15:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219567</guid>
		<description>Today Dad is going to take me to enter in the APS' Spokesdog Contest.  If I win I get my picture put ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today Dad is going to take me to enter in the APS' Spokesdog Contest.  If I win I get my picture put on the official Spokesdog t-shirt, a $50 gift card to Petco, and a year's supply of Hill's Science Diet dog food.  I don't eat Science Diet so I'll just donate it to the shelter.  They always need food.  Rosie wrote my essay about what a great dog I am.  I hope I win.  It would be lots of fun to be the Spokesdog, especially since that's the shelter I came from.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Black Cat</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219566</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 07:11:15 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219566</guid>
		<description>There's a black cat hangin' around in our yard.  She's certainly causing a rucous around here.  She' ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ There's a black cat hangin' around in our yard.  She's certainly causing a rucous around here.  She's taunting all the dogs in the area--climbing trees to go after the squirrels, hanging around the fence when we go outside; leaving her provocative scent all over the yard.  We just wanna catch tackle her and lick her head, but she always runs away.  Stupid cat.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Go Canes!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219564</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 07:08:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219564</guid>
		<description>Finally the Canes won a game last night.  They beat the Atlanta Thrashers (is that a brown thrasher  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Finally the Canes won a game last night.  They beat the Atlanta Thrashers (is that a brown thrasher or what?) 4-3.  The Wizard scored with .5 seconds left in regulation.  What a finish!  We thought they were going to go to a shootout.  Their play on both ends of the ice was the best it's been all season.  Maybe that big fight they had last Sunday was a good thing.  Sometimes ya just need to break the tension.

Oh and let's not forget to mention Eric Staal's breakaway goal.  I guess he thought he oughta do it since his little brother did the same thing for Pittsburgh the other night.  Tonight should be awesome.  The Staal brothers meet for the first time on NHL ice.  Let's hope the Canes can keep up their winning ways.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Go Flyers!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219563</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 Oct 2006 07:04:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/219563</guid>
		<description>Well, the boys dropped a game 3-1 to Montreal the other day.  But we're not discouraged.  They need  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, the boys dropped a game 3-1 to Montreal the other day.  But we're not discouraged.  They need to work on converting on power plays and shooting off the point.  The coordination is there.  The puck's just not going in.  They just need to keep doing what they're doing and the goals will come.

Tonight is a huge game against the NJ Devils.  It would be great to score a win on the road against them--a great way to start a four game road trip.

GO FLYERS!!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Live From the White House Press Room</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/217557</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 Oct 2006 12:06:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/217557</guid>
		<description>President Isabel: Good morning. Hope y'all like the cookies. I see the cat poo cake is untouched. Do ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ President Isabel: Good morning. Hope y'all like the cookies. I see the cat poo cake is untouched. Don't be squeamish folks. It's tasty...really. Okay let's get this show on the road. Helen you're looking lovely as always. Go ahead dear.

Madame President, word from the Congress is that Representative Sensenbrenner is sitting on the Anti Dog and Cock fighting legislation in Committee. Have you offered any sort of compromise to get this legislation moving?

POTUS: With all due respect to Congressman Sensenbrenner, we feel this is a turf war. The Republicans are feeling the heat from sagging polls and scandals so they are running to their old standbys: Immigration, security, etc. By stating that the Dog Fighting bill is not a priority I think we have a clear indication as to what is wrong with the Republican controlled Congress. I am working closely with Congressman Green to get this bill out of Committee and onto the floor for an up or down vote. Jim...

Yes, we've heard quite a bit recently about the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act. Despite protestations from the White House the Senate passed its version of the bill. How confident are you that the House version will die in Committee?

POTUS: The Senate pulled an 11th hour end run on their bill, changing its language at the last minute. Clearly the language of the House bill now is an obvious violation of 1st Amendment guarantees to free speech. I believe this extends to boycotts, whistle blowing, and peaceful assembly. I have stated quite clearly that I will not tolerate acts of violence to be perpetrated against Animal Enterprises be they puppy mills, animal testing labs, or what have you. It is already illegal to commit such acts under existing legislation. Though I am dead set against puppy milling I will not support acts of terror, especially on our own soil. This bill is more about protecting large companies like the Hunte Corporation, the largest distributor of puppy mill dogs in the country. We hope that the Congress sees through this charade, strikes down the bill, and protects the first amendment rights of the American people. If not, I will veto this bill. Susan...

Madame President can you comment on your Dogster page being kennelled?

POTUS: My page was kenelled late last night. This was the result of a misunderstanding with another member. The matter has been dealt with by HQ and may page is open again. I have personally contacted the member to straighten out any misunderstandings.

There is a rumor circulating that you have been challenged to a debate and election. Can you comment?

POTUS: I have been elected by the citizens of Dogster and Catster to serve out the remainder of The Shrub's second term in office. That term is set to expire in January of 2009 should I not be reelected in the 2008 Presidential Election. During that election cycle I will debate anyone, anywhere anytime, and participate in the election as provided for in the Constitution of the United States of America.

When I was approached to take on the Shrub in the aftermath of Katrina it was done because clearly he was not doing his job. He had violated his oath of office. In less than 1 year I, my administration, BSL Task Force, and Animal Abuse Commission have helped pass the Pet Evacuation Bill, the Anti Horse Slaughter package, brought down the AKC/Petland deal, as well as a host of other victories in the areas of BSL, and abuse and cruelty advocacy, including the shut down of Deaddogdesigns' American Internet outlets. In addition we have secured health care for the millions of uninsured dog and cat senior citizens, brought Karl Rove to justice, enacted the Four for Five Program allowing pet owners to work 4 days and get paid for five so they can spend more time with their pets, along with the adopt-a-shelter animal incentive program and the 3 hour belly rubbin' siesta. The Atomic Pooper Collider is under construction, will be online by the Spring of 2007 and will be providing clean burning energy derived from cat and dog poo. I am also preparing to lay out a timed withdrawal from Iraq and a redeployment in Afghanistan, in conjunction with NATO forces, to finally finish off the Taliban, bring down Al-Qaeda, and help stabilize the region, a job that would have been finished 3 years ago if the Shrub hadn't gone and invaded Iraq because Sadam Hussein threatened to kill his daddy.

We've done a lot of great things in the last 9 months, and we have a lot more to accomplish. I look forward to continue serving the American people.

Madame President can you comment on Peter Forsberg's opting out of the overtime shootout in the Flyers' home opener against the Rangers?

POTUS: I heard a bunch of nambypamby excuses about broken sticks and lack of confidence. I don't know how they do things in Sweden but this is America. This is Flyers hockey. Forsberg, suck it up and play hockey son. The goals will come. You just have to believe in yourself.

And what about the Eagles victory over Dallas yesterday?

POTUS: Are you kidding? I don't know what was better, shutting down TO, that amazing flea flicker to the end zone, or Lito Sheppard's amazing interception and touchdown run! I want to remind everyone here that last year I said that when the T.O. distraction was gone the Eagles were going to come back strong and Donovan McNabb was going to assert his dominance over the quarterback position in the NFL. A 4-1 record and Donovan leading the NFL with 1600 yards passing in 5 games tells the story people.

Madame President!

POTUS: Sorry folks that's it. Nature calls. Eat that poo cake gang. It's good.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>How Could I Forget?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/217036</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 8 Oct 2006 08:49:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/217036</guid>
		<description>It's October 8th.  It's John Lennon's birthday today.  He'd be 66 years old today.  Dad still talks  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's October 8th.  It's John Lennon's birthday today.  He'd be 66 years old today.  Dad still talks about that horrible day in December when he woke up to the sad news.  But today is a day to remember all the good things John accomplished in his too short a life.  Don't worry John, we're still imagining.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Drat!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/216728</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 Oct 2006 13:08:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/216728</guid>
		<description>The potluck that Dad's grilling burgers for got postponed to tomorrow.  No I have to wait another da ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The potluck that Dad's grilling burgers for got postponed to tomorrow.  No I have to wait another day for meatballs.  Dang it!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hey Hey Hey Hey Hockey Way!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/216596</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 Oct 2006 04:30:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/216596</guid>
		<description>Well the 2006-2007 Hockey season is under way.  Time to fantasize about sliding our bellies on the c ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well the 2006-2007 Hockey season is under way.  Time to fantasize about sliding our bellies on the cool ice, and apparently time to watch Dad don sackcloth and ashes.  Instead of beginning their return to hockey glory his beloved Flyers got there butts handed to them by the Penguins 4-0.  Then the Great Red Hope, the defending Stanley Cup Champions, the Carolina Hurricanes, got blown out last night 4-0 by the New Jersey Devils, this coming off a 3-2 overtime loss to the Buffalo Sabres on Wednesday.  The only consolation for that is the fact that the Sabres are Meatball's team (even though their new logo looks like a banana slug crawling on Donald Trump's hair).

So tonight both teams are playing.  The Flyers play the Rangers and the Hurricanes play the Washington Capitals.  The Capitals' sole purpose in the NHL is to make sure there is at least one team that everybody can beat (sorry you Caps fans out there, but it's true).  If the Canes can't beat them well then this world just won't make sense anymore.  One of our teams better win or Mom and Dad may be sitting shiva.

And poor Rosie.  She got up this morning and pooped all over, and possibly threw up some poo (or had diarrhea), along with a small piece of bully stick.  The poor girl still hasn't learned how to wake up Dad and tell him she has to go.  Hopefully it was just a case of having to go really bad and throwing up poo she ate and not something more serious.  Dad's gonna try and reset her bowel with some pure pumpkin and yogurt after the Whole Foods opens.  She seems to be fine now.  She's not warm, lethargic or anxious so that's good.  Dad will stay  home with her today and keep an eye on her.  

Aside from Rosie having a ruff morning, the other sadness is that her diarrhea vomit killed our old bed.  Now it's in the front yard waiting to go into our trash dumpster.  Fare thee well Old Bed.  Of all the souls I've encountered his was the most...human.  Dad said he'll take the cover off and see if he can salvage the egg crate foam.  It's possible that the spew did not completely contaminate the core.  Then he can just put a fitted sheet over it.  I mean, this is the Situation Room bed.  When I get finished nuking some facist dictatorship, or Rosie gets through prosecuting members of the Shrub administration for crimes against humanity, we get tired and need to take a little break.  Being President of the United States isn't all it's cracked up to be...lugging groceries up this hill three times a day.  And what thanks do I get?  "Cook!  Where's my lunch, where's my dinner."  Ooo I hate that royal magestic majesty's graciousness.

In summary I hope the Flyers and Canes win, my bed gets salvaged, and most of all I hope that my Rose Petals feels better.  I don't think that's asking too much.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>No Deli?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/215305</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 Oct 2006 05:20:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/215305</guid>
		<description>So yesterday  Dad had to get a new drivers license 'cause his butt cracked the old one.  This is not ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So yesterday  Dad had to get a new drivers license 'cause his butt cracked the old one.  This is not due to buns of steel, but buns of Bisli.  Bisli is basically the Israeli version of Fritos, but good.  That's not to say Dad's fat.  We know what fat looks like.  It mows the lawn with no shirt on up the street and really needs to put the shirt on--really, put the shirt on.  I don't care how hot it is.  Anyway, on his way home he stopped at the Kosher store and, much to our delight, discovered that they are now carrying deli meat.  With great triumph and flourish Dad entered the house proclaiming the arrival of new meat.  Then he made himself a sandwich.  Then he ate the sandwich.  Do you see where this is going?  We didn't get any frickin' meat!!!  Dad said something about nitrates and us not getting any.  Crap I say!  Crap!  I want corned beef!  I want pastrami!  I want salami!  As a consolation prize I can have a raw meatball this weekend.  Dad's gonna grill his famous burgers on Saturday.  I guess that's okay.  But I still want my frickin' deli!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Test Results</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214539</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 2 Oct 2006 15:08:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214539</guid>
		<description>Dad had this dark mole on his shoulder.  It used to be a freckle, but then it got lumpy.  Then it go ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad had this dark mole on his shoulder.  It used to be a freckle, but then it got lumpy.  Then it got dark.  After having this thing for years he finally decided to go to a dermatologist and get the thing removed.  Actually, his doctor told him to.  So last week he got it shaved off.  Well the doctor called today to say it was just an ordinary mole.  No abnormal cells or anything.  Good thing too because if Mom were left to take care of us she'd screw it all up.  Just kiddin' Mama.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Are You Ready For Some Football?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214492</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 2 Oct 2006 13:14:43 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214492</guid>
		<description>That's right!  Dad's Eagles are playing tonight against the Green Bay Packers.  Dad's excited about  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ That's right!  Dad's Eagles are playing tonight against the Green Bay Packers.  Dad's excited about Eagles football this year.  The team is playing great, and playing great together.  And best of all, that butt wipe T.O. is abusing pain medication in Dallas instead of Philly.  Being in La La Land must be good for TO because he had a good game yesterday.  Who cares?  Cowboys suck man!  It's all about the Eagles.  Mom's team on the other hand, is one week  shy of the toilet.  That's right, she's a Carolina Panthers fan.  Amazingly they managed to beat the Saints yesterday which I think sucks the bird.  That's okay.  You're allowed to get lucky once in a while.

Then there's baseball.  The Phillies managed to blow their chances of getting the wild card spot and now the Dodgers are in the playoffs.  BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  We hate the Dodgers.  They were Grandpa's team until they moved to Los Angeles.  He's never forgiven them.  Dad thinks it would be the sports coup of the century if Rupert Murdoch moved the Dodgers back to Brooklyn.  And Dad still can't believe the Yankees are leaving Yankee Stadium.  Don't get me wrong.  Dad HATES the Yankees.  But Yankee stadium is an historic baseball landmark.  He says that if they blow it up they should do it with Steinbrenner inside.  But since he's such an ass he will most likely survive.  Why doesn't he go join the Taliban or something?

Anyway, back to the important stuff...GO EAGLES!!!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Oh Geez!  Reality Check Time</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214487</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 2 Oct 2006 13:04:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/214487</guid>
		<description>Perverts in the Congress.  The Shrub is out to lunch.  Bob Woodward is trying to be a revolutionary  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Perverts in the Congress.  The Shrub is out to lunch.  Bob Woodward is trying to be a revolutionary again.  Whatsamatter Bob?  Got tired of drinkin' the Shrub Kool-aid?  Give me a break.  That's why the Isabel White House is cool.  Here's our scandal of the week.  Rosie hid my Everlasting Fun Ball.  She took hers and then she hid mine.  I looked all over for it but couldn't find it.  Guess where it was?  Under my desk in the Situation Room!  That's no place for toys Rosie!  That's for serious stuff like nuking Iran, ordering cats to pee on Ahmed Karzai's cape (what's with this guy's dress code man?), ordering special forces to give Jerry Falwell an enema...ya know, crisis stuff.  It's not for hiding toys in.

Let's see, what else is going on.  Dad got a new job!  Thank dog!  He was getting really frustrated working for...........  His new job's gonna be great he said.  It's at a really fun place with great people.  There's even a girl there that used to work at his old school.  He hadn't seen her in a year and there she was.  She had already put a good word in for him.  He says the salary is good too so we don't have to worry about not getting our Timberwolf Organics.  It's gotten kinda pricey.  Rosie and I were afraid that we were gonna have to start eating a lower quality food.  Dad assures me that he would eat pasta and ramen noodles every night before he started skimping on our food.  That's good to know because ya know, I'm a finicky dog.  Unlike Rosie who would probably eat fiberglass if you put it in her bowl.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>What a Party!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/208452</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:55:32 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/208452</guid>
		<description>Boy am I glad Dad didn't cancel my party.  I certainly earned it considering that I was getting reba ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Boy am I glad Dad didn't cancel my party.  I certainly earned it considering that I was getting rebathed throughout the night on Saturday.  Apparently my all over body stench splash was pretty effective.

Ariel, Molly, Lily, and Daisy came over with their moms.  We ran around and played, and we got birthday cake.  Ariel's mom made it for me.  It was chicken and eggs and yogurt icing and just plain good!  And I got prezzies!  I got another new ball, bags and bags of treats, a birthday bandana and matching hat (which I wore for about 20 seconds), and a big tub of pupcorn.  It was great.  Everyone sang to me and took pictures of me and everything.  Then this morning I made a collosal poo!  It was awesome!

Then Dad made a suggestion that we all go to the beach sometime and rent a dog friendly house.  I'm down with that!  I hope we do that.

I have to take a moment and thank all my Dogster pals for their rosettes, good wishes, bones, and pmails wishing me a  happy rebirthday.  I have the best bunch of pals in the world.  And of course I have to thank the volunteers and staff at the Animal Protection Society of Durham for takin' such good care of me while waiting to be adopted.  And lastly my family:  Mom, Dad, Rosie, Moo and Nora for bein' the best damn family ever!  I loves ya all!

Wait, what's this.  My secretary just handed me a card.  It came all the way from California from Molly & Sophie.  Thanks you guys.  That's so sweet.  See?  I told ya I have the best damn pals in the world.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Escape Awesome!  Bath Sucky!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/207663</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 16 Sep 2006 16:11:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/207663</guid>
		<description>As you may have read on our Dynamic Duo page Rosie and I escaped through the open gate today.  Dad a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As you may have read on our Dynamic Duo page Rosie and I escaped through the open gate today.  Dad actually kicked himself in his own butt.  Anyway Rosie came back, but not I.  I am the Wind!  I ran all over sayin' hello to many a dog.  Dad heard barkin' and followed it.  There I was, but still not interested in coming home.  Recall?  What's that?  Recall is for dummies.  I led Rosie and Dad all over the place.  Okay maybe it wasn't too smart to cross the street in traffic, but I went back to the other side and stayed off the busy main road after that.  Anyway, finally I decided to go to my friend Daisy's house to play with her.  But first I saw her cat so I tried to play with her.  Then Rosie went up Daisy's front steps.  Dad knew Daisy wasn't there but he wasn't letting on.  Then Dad tried the door.  It was unlocked!  Rosie went inside and I followed.  I knew that was going to be the end of my adventure, but I was really thirsty.  We drank up Daisy's water.  Then I got harnessed up and headed for home.  We ran into Daisy and her mom, well not really ran into them that would hurt, but we saw them.  They were out lookin' for me too.  So we all met up and went back to the White House to play in the Rose Garden.  Then we went inside for cold water and bully sticks.  

While on my travels I acquired a lovely aroma.  I rolled in it so I would be extra aromatic.  Well apparently Mom and Dad were not impressed and I had to get a bath.  I hate getting a bath.  Now I smell like vanilla.  Vanilla?  Rats!  I'd rather smell like rotting carrion.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Happy Rebirthday Isabel!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/206900</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 14 Sep 2006 19:17:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/206900</guid>
		<description>Well Isabel your rebirthday is less than two hours away.  I've got your presents and your party plan ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well Isabel your rebirthday is less than two hours away.  I've got your presents and your party plans all made.  I just wanted to take a moment and tell you how much I love ya.  You are my first dog.  I can't believe how much I've learned from you the last three years.  You are the kindest, most sensitive soul I know.  The way you mentor Rosie, keep her in line, and stick up for her is so wonderful.  And the way you bring so much love to our family makes every day worth living.  Sure there are times when you completely annoy me and make me long for the destruction of all life on earth.  But those times are few and far between and, in the end, that part of what makes you the wonderful dog you are.  I genuinely think that I'm a better person for having you with me.

And needless to say I'm so proud of you for everything you're doing as President.  Between the Animal Abuse Commission and your distracting me from the Shrub, you are giving me the kind of peace of mind that can only be had from the knowledge that a dog is in posession of our nuclear launch codes.  I promise to help you run a successful campaign in 2008.  With the chumps that are currently in the field I think we have a real chance.

When I think back to how you were when we first got you--so wracked with separation anxiety you were trying to eat the door--I'm so amazed at how well you are now.  You are the best dog in the world, along with your sister.  But today is all about you.  I love you my Shellies.  I hope your 5 year is filled with joy, good health, fun, and love.  I'll do my best to make sure it is.

Happy Birthday my Shellies!!!

Love, 
Dad]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Goodbye Zoey</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/204924</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 10 Sep 2006 07:56:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/204924</guid>
		<description>Our dear friend Zoey  http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=254076&amp;j=t  died yesterday from kidney d ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Our dear friend Zoey  http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?i=254076&j=t  died yesterday from kidney disease.  She was a very special dog.  She lived in Canada in a community where BSL is strictly enforced.  Both her mother Tyra and Buster were executed because they are pit bulls.  They didn't attack anyone, they didn't hurt anyone.  They were just pit bulls.  

Zoey was a kind, loving dog who adored children and never hurt a fly.  Unfortunately some members of the Dogster community have taken it upon themselves to attack her family because they posted on Dogster asking for financial assistance for Zoey's treatment.  Soliciting is against the Dogster rules so her page was flagged by another member.  The community then proceded to condemn the family for doing this.  Dogster more often than not shows itself to be a kind and supportive community.  But then it shows its ugly side where dogs feel the need to kick others when they're down with sanctimonious, judgemental comments and actions.

HQ has taken the lead in this situation be reevaluating their policy, and making Zoey Dog of the Day.  Other community members are starting strolls and are posting in memorial threads.  Again, Dogster's good side is ruling the day.

Darling Zoey, we love you and miss you.  Watch over your family from the shores of that far green country beneath the swift sunrise with your Tyra and Buster.  You were an amazing ambassador for your breed and we are honored to have been able to have been your friend.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Crikey!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/202439</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 4 Sep 2006 08:00:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/202439</guid>
		<description>We're saddened to hear that Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter, was killed in a freak accident by  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We're saddened to hear that Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter, was killed in a freak accident by a stingray in the shallow waters of northern Australia.  Steve was an amazing advocate for the world's animals teaching us that even the most dangerous of creatures have value and need to be respected.  Our heartfelt condolences to his family; Terri, Bindi, and Bob.  No doubt they will tirelessly continue t spread his message, and share their love of animals with the world.

Former President Shrub, upon hearing the news attempted to go after the stingray with ballistic missiles.  He was tranquilized with a dart gun by Phillipe Cousteau.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Farewell Little Bit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/201806</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 2 Sep 2006 09:46:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/201806</guid>
		<description>It's been a few days since our friend Little Bit crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  There have been so man ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's been a few days since our friend Little Bit crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  There have been so many loving tributes.  I doubt that my words will compare, but I wanted to take some time to say a few things.

I don't remember the first time we met LB.  Quite frankly it seems we've known her from our earliest Dogster days.  We got to know her through her struggle with cancer.  She was such a fighter, and was so eager to share everything she learned with all of us.

Last fall, after the Katrina debacle, I decided to run for President.  LB was in my corner from the beginning, and agreed to be part of my Cabinet, serving in the Department of Health and Canine Services.  She continued to inform the public regarding canine cancer treatments, and kept us up to date with her own treatment.  Each advancement she made was accepted as the miracle it was, every setback with trepidation and the hope that the cancer would eventually die.  But at last it proved to be too much for our Little Bit.  We mourn her departure, but we know that she lives in in the legacy she has left behind; a vast resource for all of us to consult if we ever have to face a similar fight.  But more than this Little Bit has left behind an example of what it means to be a real friend, and a caring citizen.  LB was kind to everyone, defended her friends, and had a heart big enough for all of us.  We should all hope to aspire to this.

Judaism teaches that gold and silver fades.  Your legacy is in your deeds.

"Even a long life ends too soon,
But a good name endures forever.
Blessed are those whose noble deeds remain their memorial
After their life on earth is ended.
The righteous need no monuments;
Their good deeds are their memorials."

Farewell Little Bit.  Your name and your light will shine forever.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>A Member of the Family Gone</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/188401</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Aug 2006 20:10:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/188401</guid>
		<description>Michael Levin, a member of the Ramah family where Dad went to camp, was one of three IDF soldiers ki ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Michael Levin, a member of the Ramah family where Dad went to camp, was one of three IDF soldiers killed in an Israeli commando mission in Lebanon on the 1st of August.  Michael emmigrated to Israel and served his compulsary duty in Zahal.  He was on a trip with his family when Hizbollah invaded Israel, killed 8 soldiers and kidnapped 2.  He cut his trip short to return home and join the fight.  He gave his life for his people and the land he loved. 

We continue to pray for the safety of all our friends and family in the war zone.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Who Knows Evil Lurks in the Hearts of Men?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/185665</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 27 Jul 2006 14:57:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/185665</guid>
		<description>The POTUS knows!  Obviously the forces of evil have underestimated our intelligence network and thou ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The POTUS knows!  Obviously the forces of evil have underestimated our intelligence network and thought they could infiltrate our group again.  The nefarious no-gooders have been detected and removed from the Animal Abuse Commission.  Our invite status has been changed so that only current members can invite.  All outside invites are now on a request basis.  It seems so ridiculous to have to do this, but apparently there are people out there who have nothing better to do than spy on us and attempt to interupt our work.  Though we want the greatest amount of transparency as possible these steps are unavoidable.  I have tried to convince the Director of Central Intelligence to open up the invite status but she's a tough bitch...for a cat.

The new Big Shrimpy came home today.  The store made the magic phone call and Dad went to pick it up.  It's purple faux suede, and is most excellent I must say.  Mom likes the cleanability factor so much that she's told Dad to order us a faux suede cover for the other bed...pistachio.  And now the orthopedic egg crate bed (that gives out a lot faster than you'd think) is here in the Situation Room.  In fact, while I type this, the Attorney General is completely sacked out on it.  In answer to the question, "Does Justice ever sleep?"  The answer is yes, yes it does.  And quite comfortably I might add.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Bye Bye Gary</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/184230</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 24 Jul 2006 19:40:28 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/184230</guid>
		<description>As many of you know members of my Animal Abuse Commission have been leading the charge against Dead  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As many of you know members of my Animal Abuse Commission have been leading the charge against Dead Dog Designs.  The genius behind this even invaded Dogster and joined our group with the sole intention of attacking one of our members.  He told her she should be shot.  Nice.  We kicked him out of the group and HQ kicked him out of Dogster.  Some might say that they wished he never came here.  But now we have an example of what we're up against.  When someone would rather make money advocating killing dogs than doing something constructive, well some people you just can't help.

Rosie and I would like to thank everyone who put in their two cents, emailed Gary, and alerted advocacy groups across the country and around the world.  I hope that for every Gary there are 1000 of you.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Ramrod, Grateful Dead Roadmaster Passes On</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/182828</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 21 Jul 2006 14:30:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/182828</guid>
		<description>Man, we've been out of touch with the Heads.  We just found out that Ramrod passed away in May from  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Man, we've been out of touch with the Heads.  We just found out that Ramrod passed away in May from lung cancer.  For those of you who don't know our dad was a tie-dyed in the wool Deadhead.  We love their music too.  It's our favorite.  It always puts us in a good mood, especially on roadtrips.  Anyway, Ramrod was the Big Kahuna who made the shows happen.  There wasn't a wire, speaker, microphone, or instrument that he didn't have a hand on.  Dad worked for the band for a weekend at RFK stadium in 1992 as a culinary deliverary manager (he bought food for the band).  The afternoon the day before the show Dad spent hours trying to find Knudsen cherry cider in small bottles because it was Garcia's new thing.  He searched high and low.  When he finally got back the Catering Manager asked where the hell he was.  Dad said, "Dude I was lookin' for Jerry's juice.  Do you wanna be the guy who has to tell him there's no cherry cider?"  He respected Dad's b8lls.  As did Ramrod who gave him a wink as Dad went about his business.  They all respected that fact that he didn't ask for any special favors either.  They were used to flaky hippies wanting to meet the band.  Dad was all business.  They appreciated that and paid him $100 cash.  Not bad for a day's work.

Ramrod was at every show workin' hard and making it happen.  Thanks for everything.  Fare thee well RR.  

Here's the obit article that appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle.

Lawrence 'Ramrod' Shurtliff: 1945-2006 
Mainstay of Grateful Dead crew dies -- 'he was our rock' 
- Joel Selvin, Chronicle Senior Pop Music Critic
Thursday, May 18, 2006 
 

He was a psychedelic cowboy who rode the bus with Ken Kesey and took virtually every step of the long, strange trip with the Grateful Dead. Known to one and all solely as Ramrod, he died yesterday of lung cancer at Petaluma Valley Hospital. He was 61.

"He was our rock," said guitarist Bob Weir.

Born Lawrence Shurtliff, he was raised a country boy in eastern Oregon and once won a county fair blue ribbon in cattle judging. He got the name Ramrod from Kesey while he was traveling through Mexico with the author and LSD evangelist, at the time a fugitive from justice.

"I am Ramon Rodriguez Rodriguez, the famous Mexican guide," he boasted, and he was known ever after as Ramrod.

"It fit him," said Steve Parish, his longtime associate on the Dead crew. "He used to keep us in line."

"I remember when he first showed up at 710 Ashbury," said Dead drummer Mickey Hart. "He pulled up on a Harley. He was wearing a chain with a lock around his waist. He said 'Name's Ramrod -- Kesey sent me -- I hear you need a good man.' I remember it like it was yesterday."

Ramrod joined the Dead in 1967 as truck driver and was held in such high regard by the members of that sprawling, brawling organization that he was named president of the Grateful Dead board of directors when the rock group actually incorporated in the '70s. It was a position he held until the death of guitarist Jerry Garcia in 1995. Like the rest of the band's few remaining staff, he was laid off last year.

He traveled the full length of the Dead's tangled odyssey, joining up with the band when the it first began playing out of town, about a year after the Dead got is start playing gin mills on the Peninsula.

Ramrod went to work setting up and tearing down the band's equipment for every show the Dead played. He puzzled his way through elaborate situations and circumstances: from the myriad psychedelic dungeons the band played through the '60s, to a concert at the base of the Great Pyramids in Egypt in 1977 to the baseball parks the Dead filled on the endless tours of the '80s and '90s up until Garcia's death.

"He was always there," said Hart, "making sure everybody was taken care of."

Hart said that it was Ramrod's practice to say "all right" at the conclusion of every performance as the band filed off the stage. "I looked forward to those 'all rights,' '' said Hart. "It was the way he said it. It was the tone that said it all -- 'it was all right ... not great.' You couldn't fool old Ramrod. I was playing for him."

Hart also remembered one New Year's Eve when he thought he might be too high to play. Ramrod solved the problem by strapping Hart to his drum stool with gaffer's tape. Hart recalled another show in San Jose with Big Brother and the Holding Company, where the starter's cannon the band used to punctuate the drum solo of "St. Stephen's" went off early.

"I looked back," Hart said. "His face was on fire. He'd lost his eyebrows. You could smell his flesh. And he was hurrying to reload the cannon in time. That was the end of the cannons."

A protege of Neal Cassady of the Merry Pranksters, the intrepid band of inner-space explorers who gathered around Kesey, Ramrod absorbed lessons from Cassady, a Beat era legend and model for the character Dean Moriarty in Jack Kerouac's landmark novel "On the Road." "He knew Neal better than anyone in our scene," said Weir.

He was a quiet, unflappable road warrior. Hart and fellow crew member Rex Jackson once decided to see how long it would take Ramrod to say something on a truck trip across the Midwest. He said nothing through three states before speaking. "Hungry?" he finally said.

"He was never a loudmouth," said Parish. "He was never anything but an honest, hard-working guy with a grip of steel and a hand that felt like leather."

He was first married to Patricia "Patticake" Luft -- their son is Strider Shurtliff, 38, of Los Angeles. His wife of the past 38 years, Francis Whalen, is recovering from an anoxic brain injury. Their son is Rudson Shurtliff, 34, of Novato.

A lifelong cigarette smoker, he was diagnosed with lung cancer only a few weeks ago. Typically, he didn't want anybody to know he was dying, although band and crew members visited him daily.

Guitarist Weir said he could barely remember the Dead before Ramrod. "When he did join up, it was like he had always been there. I won't say he was the missing piece, because I don't think he was missing. He just wasn't there. But then he was there. And he always will be. He was a huge part of what the Grateful Dead was about."

Parish said he and Weir left a recent visit from Ramrod's hospital bed. "Weir said 'They say blood is thicker than water, but what we've got is thicker than blood,' " said Parish.

Funeral arrangements are pending.

E-mail Joel Selvin at jselvin@sfchronicle.com.

Page A - 2 
URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2006/05/18/MNGGDITL9I1.DTL

©2006 San Francisco Chronicle]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Peter Rabbit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/180109</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 15 Jul 2006 22:46:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/180109</guid>
		<description>Boy did we have some excitement this morning.  Dad let us out into the yard and we came upon a brown ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Boy did we have some excitement this morning.  Dad let us out into the yard and we came upon a brown bunny with a cotton tail.  Rosie gave chase.  I, unfortunately, was in the middle of taking a dump when Rosie came upon it.  Let me tell you something.  Bunnies are fast.  This thing was bookin' it.  It started heading for the gate.  Dad thought it was going to bang into the fence and get turned into a furry football.  But it slipped right through the gap in the gate and was outta there.  It didn't even smack the pole.  It reminded me of Peter Rabbit's escape from Mr. MacGregor's garden only there Peter got stuck on the fence because his new blue coat got caught and there was no dog involved.  And we don't have a garden really unless you count the bed of wild growing spinach and brocoli.  Oddly enough the bunny wasn't even in that part of the yard.  It was feasting on grass or something.  But that's besides the point.  Come to think of it there really is no resemblance to Peter Rabbit except that there was a rabbit involved whose name may or may not have been Peter.  I didn't really have a chance to ask it.  I waited by the gate for it to come back but for some reason it declined to do so.  Rats.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Independence Day Presidential Address</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/174508</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 4 Jul 2006 06:04:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/174508</guid>
		<description>My fellow animals; on July 4th Americans celebrate the day that Britain's 13 North American colonies ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My fellow animals; on July 4th Americans celebrate the day that Britain's 13 North American colonies declared their independence. This was an unprecedented moment in world history, and one that inspired other societies to break free from the shackles of imperial powers. But even as our humans celebrate their hard fought freedom we must remember all the animals that are not free; the ones that are still trapped in puppy mills; the ones who are victims of Breed Specific Legislation; the ones who suffer silently behind closed doors at the hands of abusive and neglectful humans. This will go on while picnics are held, and fireworks are launched. And though it is now perhaps too late, please sign the petition that Bernie sent around to stop fireworks from being shot in Camarillo California next to the animal shelter (go to the President Isabel's Animal Abuse Commission page to find the link). This thoughtless disregard for the mental health of the animals at the shelter is also a form of abuse.

There is still so much to be done. It may seem like a hopeless uphill struggle, but we have seen results. Across the country judges are handing out stiffer sentences. States are enacting stronger laws. Leaders are taking a stand against puppy mills. I believe that the tide is turning which means the work we do here, and in our communities, is even more important than ever. Keep bringing the petitions and court cases to the group. Keep posting the articles. Continue to invite more of your pals to the group. Keep getting the word out. 

It is my hope that on a July 4th someday soon we will celebrate not only human freedom, but the freedom of animals everywhere from abuse, cruelty and neglect. Thank you all for everything you have done, and continue to do for this cause.  And for those of you that haven't done so yet, please join my Animal Abuse Commission.  You can get there by clicking on the link here on my page found on my list of the groups I belong to.  Thank you.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>My Tail of Devotion for Isabel Roverandom-- P.O.T.U.S.</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/169124</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 21 Jun 2006 20:13:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/169124</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad I can't remember how long I was in the shelter before you took me home.  All I know is t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad I can't remember how long I was in the shelter before you took me home.  All I know is that I had so much love to give.  I just sat there and sat there waiting for you.  Then one day the shelter ladies took me to the PetsMart for an adoption day.  Dad, when I saw you I knew you were the one for me so when you knelt down to see me I gave you the biggest hug and kiss I could so you would know how much I wanted to be with you.  And  Mom, when you came to the shelter the next day I was on my best behavior so you would know that I was the girl for you.  I know that things weren't easy at first with my seperation anxiety and all, but you stuck with me.  We worked so hard.  And when I heard you say that I was the best dog in the whole world I knew that I made the right choice that fateful day when Dad came to buy cat litter and food.  I love you guys more than you'll ever know.  Thanks for all the kisses, hugs, belly rubs, toys, and reasurrance.  You're the bestest parents that anyone could ever ask for and I love you with all my heart!  You've given me your love, your patience, your devotion, and even stood behind me when I decided to run for President of the United States.  No dog could ask for any more.  I will love you forever!

Love,
     Isabel


Dearest Isabel,
      You are our sweet Shellies and we cannot imagine life without you.  From the day we met we saw the love and light in your eyes.  Our days have not been without trial, but each day has been without price, and has made us more whole.  Our concept of what humanity meant was nothing until we met you.  You were such a troubled girl when we brought you home.  But despite our doubts we found the resources to help you heal.  Together we succeeded and each day with you has been a joy beyond our capacity to express.  Being able to wake up to your impassioned visage is a priviledge and an honor.  We were nothing before you came, and now we wonder what we've done to deserve having you in our lives.  You have awakened the best part of our humanity, shined a light on our capacity to love, made us truly understand that, "There is a fountain that was not made by the hands of men."  We will love you eternally, would die for your safety, will sing your praises unto the pinnacles of the heavens!

Love, 
Mom and Dad]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Woofstock</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/164414</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 Jun 2006 13:45:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/164414</guid>
		<description>We had an event in town today called Woofstock that was put on by the Department of Parks and Recrea ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We had an event in town today called Woofstock that was put on by the Department of Parks and Recreation.  It was really cool.  They had agility and flyball demos and lots of fun contests.  Best of all, all my park pals were there with Rosie and me.  We had the best time.  And we ran into a couple of the shelter ladies who helped take care of Rosie while she was there.  They were so glad to see us.  I must have eaten about 10,000 cookies today, and I got a new fuzzy toy.  Rosie got them for being in two contests:  biscuit toss--she sucked at it, and human/dog look alike (she did that with Mom).  All in all it was a really fun day.  Time to chill in Big Chair and sleep off the cookies.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>The Walk for the Animals</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/156590</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 20 May 2006 09:27:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/156590</guid>
		<description>Well, today was the Walk for the Animals to benefit our shelter, the Animal Protection Society of Du ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, today was the Walk for the Animals to benefit our shelter, the Animal Protection Society of Durham.  There were hundreds upon hundreds of dogs there.  I wore my new Stars and Stripes bandana being the President of the United States and all.  We did a little campaigning, and pressed the flesh in preparation for 2008.

And we got to meet Phoenix.  She's a puppy at the shelter.  She was in really bad shape.  But she's really turned around at the shelter.  She's happy and social.  Rosie and I really love her.  I wish we could adopt her, but we can't afford the expenses of another dog.  Our budget is tight enough as it is.  But we did our best to campaign for her.  There were lots of people interested in her.  She'll probably have a home on Monday.

Anyway, Mom and Dad got t-shirts, we got a frisbee, and we helped raise money for the shelter that saved our lives.  I also got an application to enter the 2007 Spokesdog Contest.  If I win my face will be on next year's t-shirt.  That would be quite a boost for the 2008 campaign I'll tell ya what.  

If you'd like to learn more about this great shelter, make donations, or adopt one of the wonderful animals there 
go to

http://www.apsofdurham.org/index.html]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>WWF</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/150896</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 4 May 2006 21:09:40 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/150896</guid>
		<description>This morning I pulled off a move I've been working on for several months.  I let Rosie take me down. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This morning I pulled off a move I've been working on for several months.  I let Rosie take me down.  Then I pulled a reversal and stood up with her on top of me.  I got her up on my back and gave her a full three rotation airplane spin before flipping her off.  I was gonna try a suplex on her but Dad broke out the Wild Side Salmon and that's all she wrote.  But for a minute there it was like the return of Affa and Sika Samoan.

Dad is gonna regret not having a video camera this morning for the rest of his life.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Address to the Nation:  PETA</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/146498</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 23 Apr 2006 11:48:18 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/146498</guid>
		<description>My fellow Americans:

Currently there is a new wave of controversy on the Dogster forum regarding  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My fellow Americans:

Currently there is a new wave of controversy on the Dogster forum regarding PETA.  As President I feel it necessary to make my postition on this group clear.  My administration does not support or associate with PETA in any way.  We will not endorse an organization that supports Breed Specific Legislation, or advocates euthanasia over adoption.  We will not associate with an organization that advocates the euthanizing of elephants, animals that are protected by international conservation treaties, rather than having them placed in zoos.  Groups that support the genocide of endangered species are not worthy of this adminstration's support.  

We also do not associate, endorse, or support the Animal Liberation Front whose members perform acts of terror, to advance their agendas.

We will not negate an individual's right to support these groups however.  

My administration advocates non-violent means to achieve its goals.  Letter writing, petitions, lobbying, and civil protests, etc., are the only means we deem acceptable.  Our movement must be one of conscience or it is worthless.

Thank you.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Success and the Weather</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/146117</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 22 Apr 2006 09:29:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/146117</guid>
		<description>It's gratifying to see that my Animal Abuse Commission is gaining so many members.  We have over 300 ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's gratifying to see that my Animal Abuse Commission is gaining so many members.  We have over 300 now, and all seem committed to the cause of making animal abuse a felony in all 50 states.  This is the cornerstone for setting human society on the path to eliminating animal abuse in all its forms; including state sponsored abuse in the form of Breed Specific Legislation.

Bullet has been an excellent choice to head up my BSL Task Force.  New members are coming in, and they have launched a post card campaign against that douche in Ontario that is taking innocent dogs from their homes and having them killed.

In other news we have new toys.  Dad bought us these Waggles.  They're rubber dumbells that you put food in and we have to try to get out.  It's supposed to keep our minds sharp.  I don't know about that.  I just want the food inside.

A big thunderstorm just came through.  It was a little scary.  Normally storms don't bother me.  But when the thunderclaps are right over the house it's a little unnerving.  I got caught in a storm once.  Mom and Dad were rushing home to get me inside.  I was hiding in my dog house.  This was when I still had my separation anxiety problems.  I had to stay outside when they were gone because I was trying to eat the door and window sashes.  I probably would have killed myself trying to get out.  I wasn't traumatized or anything by the storm.  But I did realize that I was safer inside and finally showed Mom and Dad that I could be in the house alone and not hurt myself.  A couple days later when Dad leashed me to go to the run I told him I didn't need to go there.  I just stayed inside and never looked back.

Somtimes my parents feel guilty about keeping me on that run while they were out.  But it was the only solution they had.  They used medication and training and kept me as safe as they could.  Now I'm cured and and I'm the happiest dog ever.  I've been off the meds for over a year too.  Don't feel guilty Mom and Dad.  You saved my life.  I love you guys!]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Back From Camp David</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/144027</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 17 Apr 2006 09:52:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/144027</guid>
		<description>Rosie and I spent the last several days celebrating Passover at Camp David.  We had seder galore, lo ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Rosie and I spent the last several days celebrating Passover at Camp David.  We had seder galore, lots of playtime, and belly rubs from the staff.  We had no computers so we had to uplink to Grandma and Grandpa's very slow computer system which made it very difficult to work.  We were able to get speedier assistance from Uncle Steve and his dog Maggie however.

In spite of all the frivolity, nothing beats being in our own house with Mom and Dad.  We ate a hearty breakfast when we got back this morning, and later took a well deserved romp in the Rose Garden where we discovered that our neighbors have a new puppy; another boy.  He's very cute and tumbly.  We had much fun getting to know him.

Things with the Animal Abuse Commission are going well.  We have 231 members so far, and have had two full scale write ups in the Dogster Blog.  I wrote to Joy today about our latest Membership Challenge.  We're asking all new members of the group to invite 10 pup pals, and get 10 neighbors, coworkers, and/or friends to write their legislators and urge them to make animal abuse a felony in all 50 states.

The movement is growing.  Not just here on Dogster, but across the country.  People are outraged by the light sentences that are being handed out as punishments for the unspeakable crimes.  It's about time!]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Take Off!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/141562</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Apr 2006 08:13:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/141562</guid>
		<description>My Animal Abuse Commission is really taking off.  We have 205 members so far.  Getting a write up in ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My Animal Abuse Commission is really taking off.  We have 205 members so far.  Getting a write up in the Dogster Blog sure helped.  Thanks Joy!  I'm really quite pleased to see all the animal rights advocacy that's happening on Dogster.  I'd like to think that my presidency has played a part in this.  And I do!  But other dogs have helped too like Meatball and Sirius Black and Tessa Lee, and Kitai, Bullet, and so many others.  I've always believed in the potential of Dogster to become a great center for advocacy.  And with a little push it's becoming just that.  

Now if we can just get our hands on that Turd Blossom!]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>We're Not Snobs!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/139095</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 5 Apr 2006 04:22:39 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/139095</guid>
		<description>For those of you who may have sent us pup pal requests recently we apologize if we haven't responded ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ For those of you who may have sent us pup pal requests recently we apologize if we haven't responded.  Apparently we haven't been receiving the notices so we haven't been able to answer the requests.  Normally it is our policy to accept all pup pal requests.  Please don't think we snubbed you!  We got an email from HQ saying the problem has been fixed now so hopefully we'll be able to take requests again.]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Fighting Back</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/137941</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 2 Apr 2006 10:06:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/137941</guid>
		<description>We've launched our newest Presidential Group:  President Isabel's Animal Abuse Commission.  The prim ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We've launched our newest Presidential Group:  President Isabel's Animal Abuse Commission.  The primary objective of this group is to rally Dogster members to help get crimes of animal abuse classified as felonies nationwide.  Contact your Congressmen and ask them for help in accomplishing this goal.  Only when our laws demand it will the criminals be consistantly punished.  This is a moral imperative if human society is to develop into a real civil society.


QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Cruelty to animals is one of the distinguishing vices of the lowest and basest of the people.  Where ever it is found, it is a mark of ignorance and meanness."  ---Jones of Nayland]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Ants In The Pants</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/137522</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 1 Apr 2006 05:09:43 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/137522</guid>
		<description>Well, they're back.  Stupid ants.  For some reason they like to come into the bathroom.  I would thi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, they're back.  Stupid ants.  For some reason they like to come into the bathroom.  I would think that the stench from Dad's...you know what...would be enough to drive them away, if not kill them outright.  But they come in more determined than ever.  Sometimes they get on me and bite me.  I will not stand for it!  So now we are fighting back with black pepper!  Dad's going to sprinkle black pepper in strategic locations and hopefully stop this scourge in its tracks.  Unless we lick it up.

In other news...I've been feeling kinda depressed lately.  I look around at the many issues confronting us dogs.  Incidents of torture, abuse, and neglect are everywhere.  The weight of my presidency is taking its toll.  But Isobel has inspired me to soldier on.  I know that it is not possible for me to tackle all of these problems myself so I'm going follow Curly's advice and do one thing.  I've decided that I'm going to petition Congress to classify animal abuse, torture, and dog fighting as felony crimes.  This is the standard in my home state and it's about time that it was this way across the country.  I intend to start by contacting our Congressman and finding out the best channels through which to get this accomplished.  

Focus is good.

Quote of the Day: "The humblest in all the land, when clad in armor of a righteous cause, is stonger than all the hosts of error."
                               -William Jennings Bryan]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Dead Squirrel Dead Squirrel Swish Your Bushy Tail</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/136614</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:29:14 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/136614</guid>
		<description>Today's quote comes from English clergyman Caleb C. Colton.

He is quoted as saying:  &quot;Nothing mor ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Today's quote comes from English clergyman Caleb C. Colton.

He is quoted as saying:  "Nothing more completely baffles one who is full of trick and duplicity, than straightforward and simple integrity in another."


So there's this dead squirrel across the street that's been taunting me.  At first it was lying placidly under a tree, still fuzzy and cute in its mortal coil shed repose.  Now it's just a lump of rotting fur, but still I want to eat it.  Naturally Dad won't let me.  Sometimes his ghost calls me in the night, "Isabel, Isabel snarf me down!"  At least he's not asking me to screen in the porches of his ears.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>President Isabel's Quote of the Day</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/136551</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 29 Mar 2006 17:18:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/136551</guid>
		<description>As the leader of the Free World I feel it my duty to spread a sense of moral decency; knowledge, tho ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As the leader of the Free World I feel it my duty to spread a sense of moral decency; knowledge, thought provocation.  To this end I am instituting a Quote of the Day on  various subjects.

Todays's quote comes from Horace Mann, considered to be the father of the American educational system.  He is quoted as saying:

"If any man seeks for greatness, let him forget greatness and ask for truth, and he will find both."]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Back From The Dog House</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/135062</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 25 Mar 2006 14:16:30 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/135062</guid>
		<description>Well we’re back from our banning, none the worse for wear. We’ve been following the D+ threads on th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well we’re back from our banning, none the worse for wear. We’ve been following the D+ threads on this issue and naturally have a few things to say.  It was Cicero or Joseph Addison who said, “Friendship improves happiness, and abates misery, by doubling our joy, and dividing our grief.”  To all you dogs out there who supported us, sent us rosettes, and participated in the butt stroll we say thank you.  It means so much to us that you stood behind us.  It would have been easier to denounce us and turn your backs.  Instead you turned your backsides.  You made us smile when we were feeling down.  You are forever our pals and we love you all.  We would also like to thank HQ for hearing and understanding us, and for reinstating us.

I won’t go into the wheretos and whyfors.  Let me just say that Rosie and I were in touch with both John and Ted throughout this ordeal.  We exchanged some heartfelt emails and have come away with a greater appreciation for each other.  We apologized to them for any hurt we caused them, the mods, and the community.  What we did not apologize for was coming to the defense of our friends.  

When our friends are attacked or harassed, badgered, or picked on it may as well be happening to us.  This may all be occurring in cyberspace, but our bonds are real.  When our friends are sick we seek to comfort them.  When they are joyful we celebrate with them.  When they suffer tragedy it is our suffering as well.  And when they leave us behind we are the worse for it.  We will always come to the aid of our friends if necessary and without hesitation.  And I will always believe our anger at how our friends were treated was justified.  The way we handled it was not.  The community now must suffer the departure of beloved members that shone great love on this place.  In my mind this is the ultimate tragedy.  And all because we let a dog who cried wolf get the better of us.  I think that we, the community at large, the mods, and HQ have learned valuable lessons from this incident. 

There is no going back to the way things were.  But we don’t have to go back.  We need only be concerned with moving forward, with shaping this community to be what we want; fun, friendly, informative, and safe—whether you’re seven, or seventy, and whether you agree with HQ on all things or not.  This is not in the hands of HQ and the mods alone.  This place is for all of us to shape.  They are counting on us to do our part.  When a wrong has been committed it’s okay to stand up and say something.  Whether it’s a community member attacking someone, a mod overstepping their bounds, a fake, or a liar, HQ wants to know about it.  They’ve set the ground rules, and means for contact so that you can alert the powers that be.  Take advantage of this so that your views can be made known.  That’s what it means to be a responsible citizen.

Lewis Mumford once said, “Neither democracy nor effective representation is possible until each participant in the group—and this is true equally of a household or a nation—devotes a measurable part of his life to furthering its existence.”  We have been given the proper means by which we can express ourselves, make our voices heard, and help shape the community.  Email the mods and HQ with your grievances.  If there are other dogs who feel the way you do, encourage them to do the same.  Our input is encouraged.  This may not always be satisfying, and may not always end with the outcome we desire.  But these are the rules that we are obliged to work with.  

In closing I will say this.  Before the bannings there was much talk of freedom of speech, censorship, and liberty.  On freedom the Mahatma Gandhi said, “Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote the freedom to err.”  Mistakes were made.  They will be made again.  In the end the nature of this community will not be determined by its rules, or how they are enforced, but by whether those that err are forgiven. 

Thank you.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Survive and Advance</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/131213</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 14 Mar 2006 19:29:43 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/131213</guid>
		<description>Well it's March and that can only mean one thing.  My parents are going to spend the better part of  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well it's March and that can only mean one thing.  My parents are going to spend the better part of the next 3 weeks watching basketball.  The tournaments haven't even started yet and they're already going insane...something about the selection committees being a bunch of insipid mornonic poo poo heads.  And some guy named Billy Packer has his head shoved up his poop chute ( I guess that's how you become a poo poo head).  I think I might actually pay to see that...if I had any money.

I still quite haven't figured out basketball yet.  You bounce the ball around--that's cool--but then you throw it into a net with a hole in the bottom.  Sew the thing closed for pete's sake (who's Pete anyway?).  They should make them climb up the pole and get the ball back out or something.  I think the game would be much more interesting if there were dogs on the court chasing after the balls.  Hey, I'm the President.  Maybe I could get them to change the rules.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The State of the Union</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/118905</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Mar 2006 21:08:59 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/118905</guid>
		<description>My fellow Americans I report to you tonight, as demanded by the Constitution, on the state of the Un ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My fellow Americans I report to you tonight, as demanded by the Constitution, on the state of the Union.  Quite frankly it's, say it with me, CRAP.  The Shrub and his Cast of Idiots have left a big pile of crap behind.  It's called a gubbazillion dollar defecit, a pile of crap called Iraq, and another pile of crap formerly known as New Orleans which henceforth shall be known as "Chocolate City."  Now I'm not gonna fault Ray Nagin for invoking P-Funk because everybody gotsta P, but c'mon.

As I look around at the Congress I am stupified at this crowd of sycophantic, moronic douchebags that have been running things around here.  Excuse me whilst I pee in your general direction.   Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.  Now, where was I...oh yes, you're [the Congress] all a bunch of morons and weenies and my administration is far better at running things because, let's face it, dogs are smarter than you.  You pick up our poo and we didn't vote of the Shrub.....twice.

So how are we going to turn things around?  First and foremost we are going to completely ignore the needs of humans for awhile.  It's all about dogs (and to a slightly lesser extent cats--they're smaller) from here on out.  No more talk of social security or the War on Terror.  You can't wage a war against terror anyway.  It's a thing, it's an abstract.  Terror is not a place or a country.  You can't fly a giant plane over Terror and drop a bomb on it.  You can however chew up shoes, eat until your kishkes explode, roll in your neighbors poo, scare the begeezus out of the mailman, and lap up your own vomit.  So from now on that's exactly what I want Congress to do.  Now get out of my sight.

Second, we are going to try the Shrub and his Cast of Idiots for crimes against humanity.  Not least for starting a war based on false information leading to the deaths of thousands of innocent civilians, not to mention the maiming and deaths of thousands of our troops {Let us take a moment to thank our service men and women for gallantly serving their country and making the ultimate sacrifice so that we can sit on our asses and watch Animal Planet without worrying about Sodomy Hussein firing anthrax laden SCUD missiles at us that didn't actually exist.  On behalf of The Shrub, The Dick, and The Turd Blossom I apologize unreservedly that you had to serve a Commander in Chief so woefully incapable of doing his job, who put you in harm's way so Haliburton could make more money than a televangelist about to be called home.}  The Shrub's crimes are too numerous to list here. 

We will begin with capturing the Turd Blossom.  I have dispatched Attorney General Rosie to hunt him down and bring him back for trial.  Once we've made him cry like a baby, watch Brokeback Mountain, and sing "Where the Eagles Soar" while standing buck naked in a vat of his own filth he will be locked in stocks on the Washington Mall so that every citizen of this great nation can throw rotten produce at him, or kick him in the groin.


And most importantly we will be cutting into Haliburton profits to fund the manufacturing of the MOST GINORMOUS COLOSAL WUBBIE EVER with a squeaker so mighty it will lay low the foundations of the Earth.  I won't promise you a rose garden, but I promise you can pee in it.  We got a long row to hoe dogs.  There's a lot of butts to sniff and faces to lick, poo to roll in, and cookies to eat.  Together we can make all our K-9 dreams come true, or at least blow up a glove and stick it on a bottle of beer.

Then of course there are all my political issues:  Our goals for the next two years are to ban BSL, dog fighting, and puppy mills; creating legitimate standards for dog food companies so that substances banned by the FDA, like menadione bisulfite, can't be put in our food; at last conquering France, and bombing Iran.  Mahmoud Igottagettajob gives me the heebiegeebies.

And I also promise that Vice-President Isobel will not shoot anybody in the face.  Hey, things are lookin' up already.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>You Have Failed Me for the Last Time</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/125604</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 27 Feb 2006 16:58:23 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/125604</guid>
		<description>Well a few months ago I wrote about how excited I was to be getting the Cadillac of beds.  Seven inc ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well a few months ago I wrote about how excited I was to be getting the Cadillac of beds.  Seven inches of egg crate foam wrapped in zip off fleecy splender.  Well now that Rose Pose and I have been sleeping on them for months and months they are caving in and are not nearly as Cadillacky as they once were.  In fact, the one we got at PetsMart we keep exchanging because one round in the laundry and the cover rips.  The other one seems to have no problem.  We can't figure that out.

Then the other day Dad was in Phydeaux, the place from which all good dog things come, and discovered the BIG SHRIMPY.  If the egg crate bed is the Cadillac the BIG SHRIMPY is the Rolls Royce.  Let's begin with the outside shall we?  The outer cover is made from sturdy backpack ripstop nylon with a fleecy top (and comes in a variety of designer colors).  Dad squeezed the BIG SHRIMPY and found it to be amazingly firm and supportive--much more so than the worn out egg crate.  Desiring to know what miracle substance was encased therein he unzipped the outer layer.  Much to his astonishment he found that the bedding was actually encased in yet another nylon covering as sturdy as the outer layer.  Not to be thwarted my intrepid father unzipped the inner cover and discovered something so shockingly brilliant he almost took a dump right there in the store.  It's filled with scraps of fleecy material that the manufacturer obviously got from other companies who would have otherwise thrown them away.  And that's exactly what they do.

But does it last?  Will it just give out after a few months?  I started a thread in the fashion forum to find out.  We got replies from two BIG SHRIMPY users who both love them.  Sure the large size bed requires 3 loads to wash all the filler, but we're getting a medium so maybe we're looking at two loads--no problem.  More importantly one of the dogs said that they've had their bed for THREE YEARS and it's still going--amazing.  When I told Dad this he committed to buying a BIG SHRIMPY to replace our worn out bed.  But in the Shrimpy spirit he has decided not to throw away our old beds.  He's going to slice the pad through the middle and layer the foam into the bed to make it extra awesome, and then use the cover from the old bed to cover the entire thing.  He'll do the same when the other bed inevitably caves in.

In the meantime I'm gonna enjoy the newly exchanged bed because it is still so cush.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Rip Off</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/124297</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 24 Feb 2006 09:09:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/124297</guid>
		<description>So Dad loaded us in the car and drove us to doggy camp.  We were so excited!  &quot;Oh boy,&quot; we thought.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So Dad loaded us in the car and drove us to doggy camp.  We were so excited!  "Oh boy," we thought.  "We'll get to run around and jump all over the staff and get rubbed on and stuff..."  But nnnnnnnoooooooooooooo...we went in for nail trimmings!  Aaack!  I hate having my nails done, especially after I broke my nail a couple weeks ago and the vet had to cut off part of my quick.  OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!  Rosie got hers done no problem, but I was a squirmy worm.  I didn't bite though 'cause I'm a good girl.  But it's done now and my nails look much better.  They had gotten pretty long and I didn't want any more to break.  Then Dad went to look at the new suites they installed.  He said they're pretty nice.  They're smaller than he thought they'd be, but they were still pretty nice.  Much better than their regular kennels.  And the price of the room includes most of their services like getting foods fed from home and doggy camp and couch potato lounge when you get your belly rubbed by the staff.  If Mom and Dad ever do go out of town without us, which will hopefully be never, they'll feel good about taking us there.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Good Grief, Not Again</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/116805</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Feb 2006 07:16:29 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/116805</guid>
		<description>Dad's sick again.  Since he's been working at his new school he's been getting sick a lot.  He was o ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad's sick again.  Since he's been working at his new school he's been getting sick a lot.  He was out for a week in the fall with a mini flu.  Now he's got a sinus/respiratory cold extravaganza.  Not to mention the stomach bugs he's gotten.  He went in yesterday, feeling kinda bad but functional.  Then this morning he woke up coughing, hacking, miserable and had no voice.  He stayed home again.  Rosie and I have been doing our best to help him feel better by snuggling on the bed with him and keeping him warm.  He says the children are little germ factories, little petrie dishes for every germ ever known to man.

Yesterday was Groundhog Day.  I thought of my little Sasquatch.  I hope he's doing well.  He doesn't go in for that whole Groundhog Day thing.  He'd rather eat.  Punxatawny Phil (the official marmot prognosticator according to Dad) saw his shadow and so we're getting 6 more weeks of winter.  The weather man said that February is going to be cold cold cold.  I hope that means we're gonna get snow snow snow!  I love snow.  I love to run in it, roll in it and eat it.  I don't know if Rosie's ever seen snow.  She was just 1 when we got her.  She didn't even know what a ball was for.  She's gonna love it!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Inauguration</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/112970</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 22 Jan 2006 08:15:44 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/112970</guid>
		<description>Good morning, I'm Shwalter Klondike, and welcome to coverage of the inauguration of the 44th Preside ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Good morning, I'm Shwalter Klondike, and welcome to coverage of the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States; Isabel Shellies Roverandom.  It is an historic day as America swears in its first female, Jewish Canine President.  Isabel has waved the limo motorcade and is walking to the dais on the Capitol steps.  She is looking very dignified in her Ruff Rider Roadie harness.  The coat is shiny, the eyes clear.  Her parents are visibly proud of their little Shellies who came from the mean streets of North Carolina, overcame accute separation anxiety, and is now poised to take the oath of office and head the executive branch of the Federal Government.

Beside her is her loyal sister Rosie who has her own story of rags to riches as it were, coming from a neglectful home where she was mistreated and unwanted.  She is about to become Attorney General and has vowed to prosecute animal abusers, setting new standards of sentencing, including bizarre and humiliating punishments.  

Wait...they're stopping...Isabel has cocked her head to one side and has lifted her left paw.  The secret service has moved into a shield position...

"SQUIRREL!!!  SQUIRREL!!!"  Agents are shouting and Isabel and Rosie have charged off Pennsylvania Avenue and are barking up a rather large oak.  There is more barking now.  Dogs from the crowd are at the tree now.  The squirrel is up out of the tree and on a power line, well out of reach.  Secret Service agents are breaking up the crowd now.  Isabel and Rosie are back on the street with only furtive glances back to the tree just in case the squirrel is back.

They are approaching the steps of the Capitol now.  Isabel is stepping over to some shrubbery and she piddles on it.  I think we can take this as a sign that Isabel is going to be placing her stamp on a Congress that has been running amok lately.

She has taken her place at the podium.  Chief Justice John Roberts is at the podium to perform the swearing in.  There was some speculation that she would select someone else to perform this duty as she has repeatedly referred to Roberts as a, and I quote, "Pinhead."  But rumor has it that she considers this her best opportunity to pee on him.  Let's go now direct to the podium for the Oath of Office.  

"Place your left paw on the Ultimate Dog Care Guide, raise your right hand, and repeat after me. 

"I, Isabel Shellies Roverandom, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

"I Isabel Shellies Roverandom do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And that's it everyone.  Isabel is now the 44th President of the United States.  There is thunderous applause and barking.  I here some meowing as well.  Let us not forget that Isabel also received a large segment of votes from the feline population in November.  She has yet to appoint of Scretary of Feline Relations which has some cats nervous, but with a feline National Security Advisor, CIA Director, and Press Secretary I have a feeling that the cats will be quite pleased with how this administration reaches out to the feline community.

Isabel is now preparing to deliver her inaugural address.

"My fellow Americans, it is with great pride and confidence that I come before you today to assume the Presidency.  When I launched my campaign last Fall it was my hope that we could come together to bring an end to the inane stupidity of the Shrub administration and move this country foward, bringing America back as the leader of democracy, freedom, and compassion that she once was.  The challenge is great.  The Shrub has left America a shambles with the greatest defecit it's ever known, and bogged down in wars overseas with no end in sight.  Across the country communities are passing laws designed to enable the genocide of entire breeds of dogs.  Dogs are abused, trained to fight and kill other dogs, are neglected, are forgotten.  In the wake of Hurricane Katrina it became obvious that the shortcomings of our society are most strongly reflected in the lack of value placed on pets by our civic officials who had no provision for the evacuation of animal members of families caught in the path of destruction.  The challenge is great, but I believe our resolve is greater.

The Shrub administration's lust for war in Iraq has exposed us to new threats from terrorists and rogue states like Iran.  Iran's President Mahmoud Igogetajob is a loose canon.  We're gonna bomb the crap out of him, and Iran's nuclear facilities because let's face it--the UN ain't gonna do squat about it.  In Iraq we are going to encourage democracy.  But we need to face the reality that the Sunnis and Shiites hate each other's guts and most likely always will.  And the Kurds simply want to have a place that is theirs.  In accepting this we must realize that the only way to stabilize Iraq is to create a federation of autonomous ethnic regions with a centralized government to provide for the common defense and promote the general welfare (share the oil money).  But there are two forces that threaten Iraq's future:  Al-Qaeda, and Haliburton.  To rid Iraq of this dual scourge we will be employing a new strategy, one that marries technology and bowel movements.  Believe me when I say that they won't know what hit 'em.

But what of the "forgotten war" in Afganistan?  Sorry President Karzai.  Let's face it you're nothing more than the glorified mayor of Kabul, and a tool of the Shrub.  Afganistan needs a dog based government to bring democracy, and rid the country of the Taliban once and for all.  We will be leading an effort to replace the human government of Afganistan with an Afgan Hound government that we can trust to bring order and stop the killing, sniff out landmines, and restore hope to the children who have lost everything in decade after decade of conflict.

But what of America?  Here we face the human stupidity of Breed Specific Legislation where dogs owned by irresponsible criminals, and uneducated neglegent people are executed, along with the gentle, well trained beloved pets of responsible families.  Families are being torn apart all across this nation and innocent animals who never harmed anyone are being killed.  They used to do that to people in a place we call Nazi Germany.  We sent millions to war to stop that regime, but it happens to our animals every day.  It was the great Mohatma Gandhi who said that you can tell much about a society by the way it treats its animals.  If that is true then our society is a disaster!  I say this genocide must stop!  I say that a country that considers itself the leader of the free world should take responsibility for its actions, not blame and punish dogs for the ignorance and criminal activity of their owners!  THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD DOG, ONLY BAD OWNERS!  And I say to the Denvers, Detroits, and Prince George's Counties of America  SHAME ON YOU!!!  You don't have the backbone or resolve to fight the real problems in your communities so you kill dogs instead.  You are a bunch of uncivilized, thoughtless, spineless weenies that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce!  You degrade the human gene pool with your ignorance!

My administration's BSL Task Force will join with other groups to fight BSL and promote real solutions like preventing drug dealers and violent criminals from being allowed to own animals and prosecuting abusive and neglectful owners who will receive real jail time, not a slap on the wrist.  And if your ill-trained animal kills you will be tried for capital murder, not the dog who was merely a victim of your negligence and cruelty.  Those dogs will not be killed, but will be allowed to live in a feral dog preserve where they will hunt members of PETA who euthanize dogs they claim they will adopt out, and who promote and support BSL in communities like Denver where pit bull puppies are killed.

Nathan, my Secretary of Health and Canine Services, will be leading my administration's fight to pass Pet Evacuation Legislation so that never again will people be forced to leave their animals behind, or stay in harm's way to protect them.  There are still thousands of animals that have yet to be reunited with their families and may never.  There are thousands more who died  in the storm.  We are better than this!  We must be, or we lose license to present ourselves as that shining city on a hill.

Sid my Secretary of Seniors and Surgeon General Little Bit will be promoting issues that concern our older canine citizens, and those afflicted with chronic diseases like cancer and diabetes.

And what of our economy?  Our humans work harder for less money than ever before.  They are strained by rising gas prices, huge deficits, and employers who cut their benefits while giving themselves pay raises.  All the while our quality time with them is decreased.  No more.  We will be establishing the Four for Five Program where all people who have owned an animal for at least a year will be allowed to work four days but get paid for five so that they can spend more time at home with their pets.  Members will also be allowed to take a three hour belly rubbin' siesta so they can rub the bellies of their furry pals.  Those who do not have pets and would like to participate in the program may do so by attending pet ownership seminars, passing a rigorous licensing program, and adopting an animal from their local shelter.  Those who take in pit bulls, and other BSL targeted breeds will receive additional benefits, and additional training.

And we will break our dependence on fossil fuels by using my sister Rosie's Atomic Pooper Collider which will generate clean energy and a useful waste product.

There is a bumper sticker that says, "Lord, let me be the kind of person my dog thinks I am."  I challenge you to become that person, to transform the ethics of this country, to show the world the kind of society we are by the way we treat our animals.  Ask not what your dog can do for you,  ask what you can do for your dog!"

And with that the crowd erupts in applause.  The President and Attorney General are chasing each other in big circles and are now running up Pennsylvania Avenue where they will undoubtedly pee on the rose garden and then commence what they are calling, "The mother of all inaugural parties."  They have decided to go Andrew Jackson style by throwing a three month kegger at the White House where all citizens with animals are allowed to attend.

This is history in the making.  The dawn of the world's first canine administration.  God help us.
This is Shwalter Klondike signing off.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>BEACH BLANKET BINGO</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/107062</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 1 Jan 2006 16:22:37 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/107062</guid>
		<description>We went to the beach for a whole week!  It was a big surprise!  Mom and Dad packed the car up last S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We went to the beach for a whole week!  It was a big surprise!  Mom and Dad packed the car up last Sunday.  I thought they were going to take us to Doggy Camp, but we just kept driving and driving and driving.  We were pretty spastic at first, but Dad put on the Dead and we chilled out.  We slept for a good part of the trip.  When we woke up it was dark.  Mom and Dad took us out to pee and it was all salty smelling and sandy.  Then we got back in the car and drove 'til there was no more road.  Then we drove onto a boat.  I'd never even seen a boat before and now we were on one.  I was a little nervous.  Dad unbuckled my car harness so I would feel more relaxed.  That was much better.  Then we drove off the boat and down a long dark road.  Mom and Dad said we were on an island.  I didn't know what they were talking about because I was too busy sniffing the salty air out the window.  Then we stopped and picked up a key and drove to the house we were staying in.  Mom and Dad unpacked the car and we were inside and it was just so awesome.  There were sofas to lay on and a little fenced in yard and the bed was a queen size so we could all squeeze on and there were all kinds of new things to smell and then we went to the beach I'd never been to the beach so I was all excited and pulled Mom all over the place and I got my toes in the ocean and sniffed shells and then I got to walk around the island with Rosie and Mom and Dad and we saw all kinds of cool stuff and I got to pee on exotic plants and there were so many stars in the sky and lots of cats and dogs and then some friends of Mom and Dad came on Friday to stay with us and I slept with Dana 'cause there was lots of room on the bed and Dad took me to this cool place where I liked to poop and I was just so happy the whole time and did I say we were there for the whole week?  And then they packed up the car and put us in and we had to drive home because Mom and Dad have to go back to work tomorrow but now they want to move to the island and live there forever or until a hurricane comes and washes it into the sea and so they are trying to figure out ways to save money so they can go back and someday move there because that's where they want to live all the time and take us with them and they kept telling us how glad they were that we were with them and we got Chanukah presents stuffed fleecy squeaky things Dad calls the wubbie but they're something else but wubbie will suffice and so now we're home and that kinda sucks but it's okay because our yard here is MUCH bigger and stuff and we're tired from driving and I'll write about some other stories of things that happened after I'm more settled...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Presents Galore</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/104827</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 24 Dec 2005 08:14:38 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/104827</guid>
		<description>The Chanukah gift wagon rolls on!  We've gotten so much cool stuff.  First we got winter fleeces.  T ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The Chanukah gift wagon rolls on!  We've gotten so much cool stuff.  First we got winter fleeces.  Then we got Ruff Rider Roadie harnesses.  Now we got life jackets?  Good grief.  See, Mom and Dad are planning a trip to the Outer Banks sometime.  To get where we're going we have to take a ferry.  Mom says, "Do you think we'll need life jackets for the girls?  Dad hadn't thought about that until she said something.  Then he started having visions of us all in the water and me and Rosie getting tired and drowning.  They couldn't stand it.  Dad shopped around and got us Fido Floats.  They zip up the back and have security straps so they won't fall off in the water.  I don't particularly enjoy wearing it especially since Dad says I look like a giant banana (it's yellow).  But since it's for keeping me safe I guess I can deal with it.

So I guess now is the time to wish everyone HAPPY HOLIDAYS regardless of what you celebrate.  Here's hoping 2006 is awesome.  I'll do my best as President to make sure it is!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Love the Smell of BM in the Morning!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/103718</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 20 Dec 2005 05:45:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/103718</guid>
		<description>I just got a letter from Vice President Elect Isobel.  We've been discussing poopies (I know, big sh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I just got a letter from Vice President Elect Isobel.  We've been discussing poopies (I know, big shocker).  She mentioned that she is working on a doctoral thesis entitled, "Turd Rolling (or the Phenomenon That Occurs When One Holds It Until One's Party Reaches the Yard with the Steepest Incline, Ascends to the Apex, Turns, and Fires Down the Hill)."

I, being so akin to Isobel do the same thing.  I immediately began to consider the military applications.  Since I will be taking over the most poorly managed military operation in the history of warfare since Alexander the Great invaded India, I need tactics that will turn the tide in this failed war.  

Obviously a turd rolling strategy would crush the insurgency with one swift stroke.  But my dilemna was trying to figure out how to get the poopies to roll down hills of sand.  Then I remembered Rosie's nanolitter experiments.  

Rosie is developing a litter using nanotechnology to give it microscopic electronic legs so when dogs (specifically Isobel and her sister Beatrix Kiddo--Cat Poopy Padawan) stick their faces in the litter box to snack on the feline pooey souflee they can avoid the telltale litter beard that always gives them away.  If we just have the troops ingest the nanoprobes the legs can propel the poopies down sand dunes and hills at accelerated speeds.  We can drive out the terrorists and probably Haliburton at the same time, and bring our troops home!

See, I told you it would be a good idea to put me in the White House.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sickypoo</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/102603</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 15 Dec 2005 15:50:20 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/102603</guid>
		<description>I think I ate something in the yard last night that didn't agree with me because I woke up in the mi ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I think I ate something in the yard last night that didn't agree with me because I woke up in the middle of the night and puked on my bed.  Needless to say that Dad was thrilled to be up at 3:30 in the morning cleaning up after me.  I was more than happy to do it myself and started to eat it up.  But Dad, killjoy that he is, made me leave the room so  he could clean it.  People just don't understand that it's better the second time around.  Dad said that in about a month it will be presidential vomit.

Speaking of which, can you believe that the Supreme Idiot had the beitzim to actually say we went to war on false information?  Welcome to the land of the living moron.  I'm sure the families of the 2,400 dead American G.I.s are thrilled to hear their loved ones died for a lie.  I can't help but think that he realized all of this after staying up late one night and watching the Daily Show.  In my administration being that stupid will be a felony.

On a lighter note, Chanukah is coming soon.  I know there are presents coming.  We're gonna get seatbelt harnesses and beds for travel.  Dad hasn't said anything, but I think we're going on a roadtrip.  I'm not sure when though.  I think he's gonna get us some new toys too.  Maybe one of those brain teaser games or something.

We've been getting a new food mixed with out Hund-n-Flocken.  It's Prairie lamb and rice.  It is delicious and hasn't given me the runs which is most unusual for a new food.  We're also auditioning a vitamin supplement from Nupro.  Also very yummy with no sugar, soy, corn, etc.  Very tasty.  Life is good!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Auld Lang Syne</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/100406</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 7 Dec 2005 19:26:58 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/100406</guid>
		<description>The holiday season is upon us.  It's a wonderful time of year when friends and family get together.  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The holiday season is upon us.  It's a wonderful time of year when friends and family get together.  It can also be a difficult time when we remember those who are not with us.  So many of our pals have gone to the Bridge leaving family behind.  Rachel lost Samantha.  Hope and Faith have left.  Gonzo lost Bubba and Mighty Mouse.  Donna lost her beloved Sara...

Then there are all the hurricane families that got separated or lost loved ones.  Our hearts go out to all of them as the holidays approach.  We're thinkin' of you.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Reprieve</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/97357</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Nov 2005 11:41:53 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/97357</guid>
		<description>Well, things are back to normal with me and Rosie.  We're back to playing and wrestling and snugglin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, things are back to normal with me and Rosie.  We're back to playing and wrestling and snuggling as always.  This is probably the third time Rosie has flipped out on me.  It's always been over food.  This goes back to her early days when she probably had to compete with other dogs for food.  She was skinny and neglected when she came to the shelter.  We just have to be careful about the food thing.  That's why Mom and Dad never leave Bully Sticks or snacks out when they go out.  

When we go outside to play I always remind her who's the boss.  ME!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Coup d'etat?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/96034</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Nov 2005 21:24:31 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/96034</guid>
		<description>I haven't even taken the oath of office yet and my Attorney General is already attacking me.  We wer ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I haven't even taken the oath of office yet and my Attorney General is already attacking me.  We were eating our Bully Sticks and of course Rosie finished hers first.  Then she took mine.  Mom and Dad took it away from Rosie to put it in the fridge.  Right after Dad got it out of her mouth she attacked me.  She got my ear and wouldn't let go.  I was screaming in pain while Dad tried to pull her off me.  Finally they got her off.  I have a cut on the inside of my ear, but that's it.  Rosie got in big trouble for that one.  We haven't had a fight like that since the bone brawl last Spring.  I am really mad at her right now and don't want anything to do with her.  She, of course is trying to kiss my behind.  I'm not having any of it.  I may have her sent to Guantanimo.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Woooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!  NEW SOFA AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/94889</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Nov 2005 08:41:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/94889</guid>
		<description>Finally we're getting a new sofa.  This one is even better than any of the other sofas we've had.  D ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Finally we're getting a new sofa.  This one is even better than any of the other sofas we've had.  Dad said it's a sectional and it's 12 feet long.  TWELVE FEET!!  I can't even begin to fathom the sprawl factor.  Now there will be enough room for Mom, Dad, me and Rosie, and even the cats.

They had been looking for a new sofa, but couldn't find exactly what they wanted.  Then yesterday they went to this store that's going bankrupt so they have to sell everything at cut rate prices.  They saved a ton of money.  I could care less about that.  NEW SOFA NEW SOFA NEW SOFA NEW SOFA NEW SOFA NEW SOFA NEW SOFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>A Home for Tippy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/92370</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 Nov 2005 09:07:53 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/92370</guid>
		<description>We've been following a dog named Tippy on our APS website.  Mom and Dad always wondered what I looke ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We've been following a dog named Tippy on our APS website.  Mom and Dad always wondered what I looked like as a puppy (cute as hell).  Well when they saw Tippy they saw me as a pup.  She's so cute, and smart like me.  Well today we saw that she got adopted.  Good luck little Tippy, and have fun in your new forever home.  Once again, we lobbied hard for Tippy to come live with us, but once again we got vetoed.  When I'm President I'll be the one doing the vetoing around here.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Bell of the Shell Bells</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/90536</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 6 Nov 2005 21:16:41 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/90536</guid>
		<description>As some of you may know I was having some problems with a pink belly and some irritated areas.  It s ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As some of you may know I was having some problems with a pink belly and some irritated areas.  It seems to be clearing up.  The major component of my treatment involves bathing once every 1-2 weeks.  I've never liked getting a bath, but there have been some improvements this week.  First, Dad got one of those shower hose dealies that you stick on the tub faucet.  That makes it much easier to wet me down, and requires less effort on my part--always good.  Dad also got this cool scrubby brush from Kong.  It's rubber and really massages the skin and gets the loose fur off.  Dad was also able to gently wash my bell and rinse it thoroughly.  I came out sparkly clean and a lot less itchy.  I love my oatmeal and aloe shampoo.  Maybe this bathing thing won't be so bad after all--who am I kidding?]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>VICTORY!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/90227</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Nov 2005 20:14:01 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/90227</guid>
		<description>My fellow Americans it is my pleasure to accept the position you have bestowed upon me and serve you ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My fellow Americans it is my pleasure to accept the position you have bestowed upon me and serve you as President of the United States (POTUS). I take this position very seriously and I will do my best to try and repair the damage of the past 5 years. 

I looked into getting Superman to fly around the earth and turn back time, but Dad informed me that not only is the science of that completely flawed, Superman was paralyzed in a terrible accident and then went on to the Fortress of Solitude in the Sky. That made me sad. I said it must have been the Shrub's fault. Dad said that the Shrub has an ignorant stance on the stem-cell research that could help people in his condition, but that sadly he probably would have died anyway because the procedure that could save him is still being researched, and that I couldn't blame the Shrub for that. So now I'm doubly sad because not only is Superman dead, I can't blame the Shrub for it. Dad said not to be sad because Superman did a lot to inform and enlighten people about a great many things before he left. But I digress. 

I believe we can rebuild and wash away the festering filth that has spewed out of the darkest bowels of evil. We can have 3 hour belly rubbin' siestas, work 4 days and get paid for five, derive an endless supply of energy from dog poo, walk with pit bulls and sniff their butts without fear of them being exterminated, and inject puppy mill operators with tracking devices and remove their blight from our society forever. 

We can have a Supreme Court that will honor the Constitution, protect our minorities, and not let our courts become the rubber stamp for religious medievalism and political fascism; a Court that will sit at the bench buck naked under their robes and be able to sing "That's the Way (Uh-huh uh-huh) I Like It" and look good doing it. 

Over the next couple of months I will be completing my Cabinet, assembling the best and the brightest to come together and help me make my vision of a doggier America a reality. 

This is a glorious moment in the history of our great nation. I ask you to join me in this moment. Embrace this new dawn. Swim in a public fountain! Lick a stranger! Poo on a crabby person's lawn! This is our time! BARK ON!!!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Candidate Declares Victory!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/89303</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Nov 2005 19:24:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/89303</guid>
		<description>This is Moo Cow from election headquarters.  I have a statement from the candidate.

&quot;Having taken ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This is Moo Cow from election headquarters.  I have a statement from the candidate.

"Having taken the electoral delegate count I hereby declare myself the victor in the Special Election over the Shrub.  To his credit, The Supreme Idiot did manage to get one vote.  At least someone still loves you Shrub.  I consider it an honor and a priviledge to have the chance to serve you as your President, if only so you can at least say in your mind 'Isabel is President' instead of the jackass we had.  Once the polls are closed and the votes tallied I will address you openly.  But right now I have to poo.  God bless America!"]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Election Night Special</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/88681</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 31 Oct 2005 20:19:11 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/88681</guid>
		<description>This is Tim Russet Potato reporting to you live from Election Central.  The polls are open and the m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This is Tim Russet Potato reporting to you live from Election Central.  The polls are open and the magic chalkboard is out.  So far Isabel has jumped to an early lead in the voting.  She has gained sweeping support from Catster, a major surprise for the Shrub camp who foolishly thought they'd have the cat vote locked up.  Little do they remember that it was Socks the Cat who occupied the White House during the Clinton administration.

In fact, the voting on Catster is more vigorous than on Dogster so far.  Looking at my magic chalkboard Isabel is doing well in the liberal northeast, but has a large groundswell of support in the Gulf States in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the event that launced this eleventh hour campaign by the scrappy dog from North Cackolacky.  It could very well be that a dog will break the long held Republican hold on the South.

We project that Isabel will also take states with BSL enacted due to her strong stance against this discriminatory legislation.  It will be interesting to see how she does in Denver, a city she has threatened to invade if their BSL is not repealed.

Stay tuned for complete election coverage.

We've been scanning the polls.  Isabel has gotten votes from Maryland, Montana, Pennsylvania, California, even those gone to Rainbow Bridge are sending in absentee ballots.  The Shrub completely ignored the RB voters which in the end could be a crucial mistake.  Though, with voting now having been on for close to 12 hours, the Shrub has not received one vote on Dogster or Catster.

Nov 1st 8:25 EST
The polls are still open and the Isabel/Isobel juggernaut  is gaining momentum.  More than 50 votes have been cast--all for the canine candidates.  Isabel has picked up Michigan, New York, and New Jersey.  But the big story is Kentucky.  Kentucky went solidly for the Shrub in 2000 and 2004, but now in 2005 it is leaning decisively to the dogs.  You name it, people are mad about it--Iraq, the price of gas, the crapola economy, hurricane response, Valeriegate, Barry Bonds not kicked out of baseball--it's all coming back to bite the shrub on his patoot.

My magic chalkboard is on overload.  It is almost mathimatically impossible for the Shrub to get enough electoral delegates to win.  At this point it would take a full scale invasion from the planet Remulak to stop the tide.

Wait...wait...I'm getting a message now that Isabel's Press Secretary, the Magnificent Moo Cow is about to make a statement.  Let's take you to Isabel/Isobel headquarters live.

"Good evening.  We are quite pleased with the returns so far.  Isabel has taken a commanding lead in this unprecedented election.  Even though the Shrub has not gotten one vote, the candidate has stated that she will not declare victory until after the polls are closed and all the votes have been counted.  Due to the nature of the Internet the polls are remaining open until midnight November 3rd (Thursday).  That's all for now."

And there you have it.  A cautious dog, clearly leading in the polls, but not wanting to discourage the democratic process.  Man I'll be glad when I don't have to call the Shrub President anymore.  And in the end, that's what this election is all about.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Great Debate</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/86922</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 25 Oct 2005 20:39:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/86922</guid>
		<description>The following is the transcript of a debate held between Supreme Idiot George W. Shrub, and Dog Part ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The following is the transcript of a debate held between Supreme Idiot George W. Shrub, and Dog Party challenger Isabel.  The debate was moderated by Benjamin Franklin who was channelled by a psychic named Madame Momadame Fananafana Fofadame.



BF:  Good evening.  My name is Benjamin Franklin.  Most of you may remember me as the inventor of bifocals and the postal service.  And maybe for makin' it in the bell house of Independence Hall with Betsy Ross.  Tonight it is my esteemed pleasure to moderate the only debate to be held between the Supreme Idiot of the United States George W. Shrub and Isabel T. Dog--candidate for President of the United States.  We will begin with opening statements from both candidates followed by a series of questions.  Each candidate will be allowed a one minute rebuttal.

The coin toss backstage was won by Isabel who has elected to receive.

Isabel, we'll start with you.

I:  Thank you Mr. Franklin.  And let me say what an honor it is to participate in a debate moderated by such a renowned dead historical figure such as yourself.

I have lived with my family for two years now in the post 9/11 world and have had to endure the constant anger and deep resentment of my parents toward the pea brained idiot with whom I share the stage tonight.  At first I found it amusing, seeing them yell at the television, and throw pens at the screen everytime the phrase 9/11 came out of his mouth.  Then Hurricane Katrina struck.

The pitiful response, or should I say lack of response, of this jackass who calls himself the President while humans, dogs, cats, and other animals suffered and died enraged me to the point that I could no longer contain myself.  I decided to challenge the Supreme Idiot to a special election, to use the democratic process to unseat this submoronic idealogue from the seat of power.

It is with this hope that I come before you tonight, to plead my case to the American people, to bring light where there is now darkness.  To bring intelligence where there is now complete ineptitude and stupidity.

BF:  Thank you Isabel.  Mr. Shrub, your opening statement.

Shrub:  Uh...9/11.  Osama bin Laden.  Evil doers.  Tax cuts.  We're gonna get them folks.  We're workin' hard.  It's hard work.  Nucular weapons.  Saddam Hussein.  Weapons of mass destruction.  9/11.  Swift boat veterans for truth...uh...9/11.

BF:  Uh...yeah.  Okay.  First question is to you Isabel.  What do you consider to be the priorities of your potential presidency.

I:  I believe that is was the great Mohatma Mohandes Gandhi who said that you can tell much about a society by the way it treats its animals.  This is a country plagued with the scourge of puppy and kitten mills where animals are nothing more than breeding factories for the profits of their human masters.  This is a country where communities penalize and murder animals because of the irresponsible care of their owners.  This is a country where hard working people are crushed under the weight of artificially inflated gas prices, health insurance costs, and the highest infant mortality rate in the entire industrialized world, while its military veterans are systematically stripped of their benefits--their reward for bravely serving their country.  If dogs and cats are made to suffer in puppy mills, and pit bulls are euthanized to shield humans from taking responsibility for their inability to care for them properly, what hope do humans have?

I will bring about an end to Breed Specific Legislation in America, first by launching a full scale invasion of the city of Denver if they don't repeal their BSL.  I will use all our resources to shut down all puppy mills in this country forever!  

And we will increase the quality of life for all domestic animals with the Four for Five Program.  Every human who has owned a pet for at least one year will only work four days a week, but get paid for five.  Employers will be compensated with generous tax breaks that will be offset by a 100% tax increase on all Haliburton share holders.  This program will allow humans to spend more time with their animals, while creating greater incentive for  people to adopt animals from area shelters.

BF:  Mr. Shrub you may have one minute to rebutt.

Shrub:  Uuhhhh...9/11...Osama bin Laden...evil doers...Homeland Security...Saddam Hussein...weapons of mass destruction...yellow cake...9/11...evil doers.

BF:  The next question is for the Shrub.  Mr. Shrub you blew the largest budget surplus in the history of the United States crippling the economy, and crushing the middle class.  You then lied to the American people to justify a war in Iraq that has left our effort to fight global terrorism in a shambles.  How is god's name did you manage to win a second term as Supreme Idiot?

Shrub: Uuuhhhh...9/11...Osama bin Laden...evil doers...Swiftboat Veterans for Truth...stay the course.

BF:  Isabel, your response.

I:  Ya know, I could stand here and run off the litany of stupid, irresponsible, and destructive things this jackass has done, but I think that would be a complete waste of everyone's time.  If it isn't patently obvious that this man is the most inadequate leader of this country since I don't know, Warren G. Harding, than you're either in a persistant vegetative state or dead.  But for those of you who are still drinking the kool-aid I will quote one more time from Bill Moyers' address to the Inequality Conference at NYU in 2004.

     "These deficits have been part of their strategy.  Some of you will remember that  Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to warn us twenty years ago, when he predicted  that President Ronald Reagan’s real strategy was to force the government to cut  domestic social programs by fostering federal deficits of historic dimensions.  Reagan’s  own budget director, David Stockman, admitted as such. Now the leading  rightwing political strategist, Grover Norquist, says  the goal is to “starve the beast” –  with trillions of dollars in deficits resulting from trillions of dollars in tax cuts, until the  United States Government is so anemic and anorexic it can be drowned in the bathtub.   

     "There’s no question about it:  The corporate conservatives and their allies in the  political and religious right are achieving a vast transformation of American life that only  they understand because they are its advocates, its architects, and its beneficiaries.   In creating the greatest economic inequality in the advanced world, they have saddled  our nation, our states, and our cities and counties with structural deficits that will last until  our children’s children are ready for retirement, and they are systematically stripping  government of all its functions except rewarding the rich and waging war." 

BF:  Point well taken.  In fact, the more I think about it the more I think this entire debate is pointless.  I have discussed this matter with the other Founding Fathers and we have decided that if the Shrub wins this special election we are going to come back as zombies and eat the brains of every American until there are none of you left.  We gave you the greatest system of governance since the ancient Greeks and you've completely screwed it up by letting these morons screw you over with their tax cuts and phony wars and ineptitude.  Quite frankly I have to say that John Adams was right.  The majority of you must be a bunch of stupid morons who can't be trusted with the power of voting.  Most of you don't use it.  You just sit there and complain while your leaders flush you down the toilet.  It's disgraceful!

When King George was screwing us over with his bs taxes do you think we just sat back and took it?  Hell no.  We kicked his ass!  Get with it people!  As far as I'm concerned it's about time that the dogs took over.  From what I've heard tonight I do not doubt that Isabel will do a better job of running things than this idiot you people elected.  I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore.  I'm going back to the Dead to get drunk.

VOTE ISABEL/ISOBEL because humans are obviously too stupid to run things!  Good night!


At this point there was a flash of light and a bizarre noise that sounded like a creeky door farting.  Then Franklin was gone.  Isabel left the stage while the Shrub continued to stare at the camera blinking like a baby bird and muttering to himself.  He may still be there.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I'm Fixing a Hole</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/85891</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 22 Oct 2005 13:21:17 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/85891</guid>
		<description>Dad thinks that I've been spending too much time campaigning and not enough time being a dog.  I agr ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad thinks that I've been spending too much time campaigning and not enough time being a dog.  I agree so I've been spending more time running and playing in the yard with Rosie.  I've found a spot in the yard of particular interest and so, using my Power Paws, I am digging my first hole in the yard.  It's almost deep enough for me to get my whole head into.  It's good to get the ol' Power Paws workin' again.

Dad added a new toy to our arsenal:  the Kong treat bone.  He puts cookies in both ends and we go to town.  I think these may be better than original Kong.  It could perhaps be King Kong!  HA!  bet you didn't see that one comin'!

I wonder what Dad will bring home from Phydeaux this week?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Inaugural</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/84021</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 16 Oct 2005 09:51:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/84021</guid>
		<description>In anticipation of my victory over the shrub, in next month's special election, I have been thinking ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ In anticipation of my victory over the shrub, in next month's special election, I have been thinking about how to celebrate my and Isobel's inauguration.  I've been brushing up on my history and I think I'm gonna take a page from the Andrew Jackson playbook.  Apparently he threw a huge kegger at the White House (seriously, he did) and invited whoever wanted to come.  Well I think it's time that tradition came back.  No fancy galas for this girl.  We're gonna have a throwdown.  I'm inviting everybody I know--people too--to come and party.  There'll be steak and lamb chops, and bbq chicken, and cold ones and Frosty Paws and all kinds of eats.  I want Phil and Friends to play on the lawn.  And there will be high stakes Gene Simmons butt gas flame out competitions.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah the smell of it.  Now that's what I call a party.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ending BSL</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/82835</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 11 Oct 2005 22:12:26 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/82835</guid>
		<description>This is probably one of the greatest challenges my administration will face.  We have long debated h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ This is probably one of the greatest challenges my administration will face.  We have long debated how to go about stopping this discriminatory and stupid policy.  I think we've reached a consensus.  We are going to institute a policy of neutering and spaying any and all humans who advocate and promulgate BSL.  Let's see how Aahnold likes it (he just signed a BSL bill into law in California, what an aaaahss).  I would advocate euthanization, but I don't think history would look too favorably on a President who euthanized her own citizens, though it seems none in the past have suffered too much for doing that (like the Supreme Idiot who euthanized more people while he was governor of Texas than anyone in history besides maybe Vlad the Impalor and Joseph Stalin.  And he'd be really hard pressed to touch Hitler's record, but I bet he'd like to get the chance--he's grindin' our boys up pretty good in Iraq isn't he?). Besides, my sister Rosie says that although she is all for bending the legal system to meet the needs of the citizenry, particularly us animals, she's having a hard time finding a way to justify euthanization to Congress.  Though she thinks that in our current political climate we might make it work if we could find a way to link them to al-Quaeda.  It's not like the Democrats would stand up and stop us.  Their too busy sitting around jamming their thumbs up their butts while they try and figure out what the hell they believe in.

We are also putting together a plan to launch a full scale SHOCK 'n' AWE invasion of Denver to stop the slaughter of innocent dogs.  Just when ya think people can't be more stupid than to elect The Shrub twice, the city of Denver proves me wrong.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Gauntlet</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/81531</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 6 Oct 2005 09:36:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/81531</guid>
		<description>It is done!  I emailed the White House to challenge The Supreme Idiot to a special election.  He did ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is done!  I emailed the White House to challenge The Supreme Idiot to a special election.  He didn't even have the decency to respond himself.  I got an autoemail that didn't even address the subject.  I infer from this that he is too chicken #*@(%@ to run against a dog--just another reason he should be removed from office.

This being the case I will simply have to run for office here on Dogster.  My official campaign starts today.  I will be posting on the forums various issue statements regarding my platform, and seeking support from members.

This is democracy in action folks.  Well, it's something in action anyway.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>New Pictures</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/80576</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 2 Oct 2005 19:31:33 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/80576</guid>
		<description>Got some new pictures finally.  Check us out in action!  Got to go on a car ride today to drop off t ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Got some new pictures finally.  Check us out in action!  Got to go on a car ride today to drop off the film, and go to Phydeaux to get more snacks and food.  We got Solid Gold lamb jerky.  Further proof that there is a Supreme Being and it loves dogs!  Of course we got the obligatory Bully Sticks, and got a bag of Innova Evo.  Dad got a sample last week and we love it.  It's very rich so Dad is giving us small amounts with our regular food.  It gives me lots of energy for the campaign trail.  

Speaking of which, I'm late on my latest issue statement.  This is only because I'm resting on my laurels.  Let's face it, the Supreme Idiot is on the ropes.  He's irrelevent, an elephant, and unfortunately still in control of the NUCULAR launch codes.  Oh dear god!  How did this coke addict alcoholic get elected twice when he by rights shouldn't even be voted most likely to be found with his head in the toilet after a three week bender...oh wait...that is what he should be voted for.  My mistake.  Anyhoo, if you can't figure out that having a friendly, cute, cuddly, and extraordinarily fast dog is a better alternative than The Shrub then you are beyond help, livin' in a dream land, drinkin' the Kool Aid, smellin' the glove.  I can't help you.

Okay, so I won't rest on my laurels.  Here are some of the things we dogs have to look forward to in an Isabel/Isobel administration.

My administration is built on three pillars--a tripod if you will.

1)  Humans will work four days, but get paid for five.  My sister has laid out the basic framework for this program in her diary, but I have ammended it.  The Four for Five Program will only apply to pet owners.  To qualify you must have owned a pet for at least one year.  The whole purpose behind this program was to allow humans to spend more time with us, so why should non-pet owners be rewarded?  Pet ownership as a qualification for enrollment in the program will be incentive to adopt animals from shelters so they can live out their lives in comfort with a loving family.

"But won't total lowlifes who shouldn't have animals try to adopt them simply to get out of an extra day of work?"

Of course they will.  That is why there will be an education program put in place for all new pet owners.  Their commitment to the program, and the implanting of a monitoring chip in their brains, will ensure that all adopted animals are given the best quality of life possible.  Failure to do so will result in a signal being sent to your chip that will cause you to sing "Shannon"  by Eric Carmen over and over and over while streaming video of "The Postman" is broadcast directly into your cerebral cortex.

Animals that do not possess the personality necessary to be adopted (based on tolenance testing) will not be euthanized.  Instead they will be taken to a preserve where they will be allowed to live free, and hunt PETA members, the way nature intended.

"But won't this program encourage backyard breeding, and puppy mills?"

An excellent question.  But we have a plan to thwart these practices.  We will have teams of operatives answering ads for dog and puppy purchases, and we will also monitor suppliers of dogs and cats to pet stores.  Agents will respond to ads and, when they meet the humans in question, will inject them with a tracking devise that will be delivered by blowgun.  Their operations will be uncovered, the animals will be taken in to area shelters for adoption, or released in the feral animal preserve.


Qualifying households will also be allowed to partake in the three hour belly rubbin' siesta program.

"But won't this mean the end of mutts?"

Let's be realistic, there is no way to get everyone to spay and neuter their animals.  As long as that's the case, and there's wine and a little Barry White, I don't think that will ever be a problem.

"But won't this cost a lot of money?"

I figure it's gotta cost less than what the government is currently paying for one day in Iraq.

2)  Environmental Stewardship

Time to stop crappin' up the planet folks.  My sister Rosie will at last be allowed to perfect her Atomic Pooper Collider which will permit us to unleash the infinite power of dog poo in an environmentally sound way.  We will also be able to free ourselves from the influence of foreign oil producers which should please everybody but the oil companies.  Well to them I say this.  We will use the tried and true method of granting lucrative tax incentives to reward companies that convert to the Atomic Pooper Collider systems.  

Our pal Meridian is also working on harnessing the power of her magic floating faery poos, which we hope will open the door to more environmentally friendly air travel.


3)  No Stupid Idealogues

We will not be so insipidly stupid as to operate without any moral compass, and be so obsessed with money and imposing our religious doctrine on everyone that we won't notice that our policies are flushing America right down the crapper.  We'll take America back to the days when the worst thing that might happen in the White House is that Rosie gets humped by her pal Milo.

So vote Isabel/Isobel because to not do so would be, well...treasonous, and would make the Founding Fathers mad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Eat The Stress</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/78590</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 25 Sep 2005 08:59:51 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/78590</guid>
		<description>Since I was not invited to be on any of the Sunday morning news shows I am forced to address the iss ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Since I was not invited to be on any of the Sunday morning news shows I am forced to address the issues here.

First, let me clarify that I am in fact running for President of the United States.  Not in 2008, but now.  In my opinion America can't afford to wait that long.  I have chosen my bosom chum and fellow gas passer Isobel to be my Vice Presidential running mate.  It is my intention to have my Canine/Human liason (Dad) contact the White House and challenge Supreme Idiot and Shrub Meister, George W. Bush, to a special election a la California where the hippies, film producers, whineries, and freaks decided it would be really cute to elect Aahnold Governor.  You can guess that they're all feeling like a bunch of idiots now (I told them they should have voted for Gary Coleman).

If the Shrub administration refuses to accept the challenge then I will simply hold elections here on Dogster.  If I am victorious I will begin promulgating my programs with or without Congressional approval.  

"But what are your positions on the issues?' you may ask.  Well let me tell you.  Let's start with the human issues first.  I'll just hit the biggies.

1) Iraq.  Sorry to have to say this, but if you think invading Iraq was justified because of 9/11 you are some kind of ignorant bumpkin.  Now I'll be the first to say that Sodomy Hussein is a very very very very bad man, who bombed the Kurds with chemical weapons, ruled by fear, tortured thousands, etc.  We were going to have to deal with him eventually.  But the UN had a perfectly greedy, exploitative policy going with the Food for Oil program which was keeping everyone busy and happy (unless of course you're an ordinary Iraqi trying to make ends meet). We were lied to by the Supreme Idiot about WMD and he's been backpeddling ever since.  Iraq was not a hotbed of terrorist activity until we invaded it.  But now that we're there we have to at least attempt to clean up the mess we made.

Now, how do we accomplish this since, despite the fact that the Supreme Idiot wore a flight suit and stood in front of that "Mission Accomplished" sign (ass), the mission is not accomplished?  The answer is simple.  We call on our only REAL ally in the region-Israel.  We're always reluctant to do this because 1) let's face it, the only thing Arabs hate more than the great satan and Persians are the Israelis.  2)  They can do the job better than we can.  My plan is to send in large numbers of Canaan dogs, and Beduin bred Salukis, to herd all the factions away from each other so they have to stop blowing each other up.  Once we have achieved a cease fire we let the Iraqis drive out al-Quaeda.  The factions will then unite further as they work together to drive out the other major threat to Iraqi prosperity:  Haliburton.  Throughout this period I will be bringing our troops home while the Iraqis assume greater control.

"But once our troops and the Israeli dogs leave won't they all start killing each other?"  Of course not.  Why?  Because, in the words of historian Charles Beard, "Economic motivation is paramount in man."  Once the Iraqis remember that they have oil, and are actually allowed to control it, they will remember that all the countries around them are getting fat on the stuff.  It's in their best interest to get along.  Sometimes you just have to have faith.  And if that doesn't work out and they all kill each other, we'll turn Iraq into a giant amusement park:  Falafal World.

Now, as far as reorganizing the country from a cruel fascist dicatatorship into a more democratic model I suggest the following:  Iraq should federate with a Kurdish state in the north, Sunis in the middle, and Shia in the south operating as autonomous states with a central governement to provide for the common defense, and promote the general welfare (which means distributing the oil wealth since the Sunis won't have any in their territory).  Oh and if the Sunis start bringing in weapons from Syria we bomb the crap out of Damascus until they cooperate.

Issue #2  The Deficit.  As we all know the Supreme Idiot squandered the largest budgetary surplus in the history of the USA by giving everyone $600 (which most of us squandered on velvet Elvises), and giving GINORMOUS tax breaks to the people who don't really need them: his friends.  Then invaded Iraq driving up the deficit further.  Now he's going to fund Katrina relief by borrowing from CHINA.  That's right folks CHINA.  Brilliant.  

Now a lot of you fiscal conservatives are out there saying, "Shrub sure spends like a Democrat."  Well let's remember that it was Bill Clinton working with Congress that balanced the budget.  But Shrub is really just putting forward the real Republican Agenda.

Read the following VERY carefully.  It is from the transcript of a speech delivered by Bill Moyers on June 3rd 2004.


"These deficits have been part of their strategy.  Some of you willremember that Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan tried to warn us twenty years ago, when he predicted that President Ronald Reagan’s real strategy was to force the government to cut domestic social programs by fostering federal deficits of historic dimensions.  Reagan’s own budget director, David Stockman, admitted as such. Now the leading rightwing political strategist, Grover Norquist, says  the goal is to “starve the beast” – with trillions of dollars in deficits resulting from trillions of dollars in tax cuts, until the United States Government is so anemic and anorexic it can be drowned in the bathtub. There’s no question about it:  The corporate conservatives and their allies in the political and religious right are achieving a vast transformation of American life that only they understand because they are its advocates, its architects, and its beneficiaries.  In creating the greatest economic inequality in the advanced world, they have saddled our nation, our states, and our cities and counties with structural deficits that will last until our children’s children are ready for  retirement, and they are systematically stripping government of all its functions except rewarding the rich and waging war."

Guess what folks it's happened. 

I will bring back financial responsibility to America.  We'll roll back the tax cuts to where they were before the Shrub went insane, and yes, make the rich pay their fair share.  There will also be a tax added for all Haliburton share holders who have made so much on the misery of others, and will continue to do so in Louisiana apparently, as I predicted in an earlier diary entry.


Issue 3  Katrina Relief.  This is a no brainer.  Number 1:  The levees around NOLA must be effectively rebuilt immediately so that water can be pumped out.  This has to be done with more permanence than sandbags (we know what happened with that.  Engineers from around the world will be called in to build a strong system that can be restructured more permanently after hurricane season passes.  But NOLA couldn't afford a second flood, and Shrub cut the funding for the levee project before.  Let's blame him--it's fun!

In conjunction with the levee renovations, which will be coordinated by our pal, and NOLA resident, Jockomo (my FEMA director) there will be a major restoration of the wetland areas around the city.  This natural buffer is necessary in order to prevent the collapse of the levee system.  Without it we may as well turn NOLA into a waterpark right now.

The relocation efforts seem to be progressing, we'll monitor that closely.  But let me say that everyone who lived in New Orleans and wants to return should be allowed to do so.  I will not allow NOLA to be a place where only the rich can afford to return.

I need a breather.  I will address the dog issues later.  Some have been addressed already:  The three hour belly rubbin' siesta, etc.  I will be releasing a broader policy statement in the coming days.

VOTE ISABEL/ISOBEL for a better, doggier America.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Welcome Dawson</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/77864</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 22 Sep 2005 10:03:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/77864</guid>
		<description>The campaign staff grows.  Dawson has agreed to join our campaign and has been promised the position ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ The campaign staff grows.  Dawson has agreed to join our campaign and has been promised the position of Secretary of Belly Rubbin'.  As Secretary, Dawson will be responsible for the logistics of my proposed three hour belly rubbin' siesta.  I have the utmost faith in Dawson's abilities in this area, and am also confident that he will not seek to overturn the Voting Rights Act.


Vote Isabel/Isobel bringing lounging and belly rubbin' back to America!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Room at the Inn</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/77810</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 22 Sep 2005 06:02:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/77810</guid>
		<description>Well, it happened again.  Mom had to go to work early in the morning and out in the yard were two bl ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, it happened again.  Mom had to go to work early in the morning and out in the yard were two black and tan coonhound mix pups.  They seem very friendly.  They even tried to get  in the car with her.  She led them in the yard and closed the gate.  Then she woke up Dad (at 4:00am: you can imagine how excited he was about that) so he could give them food and water.  That wasn't the only problem.  The smaller of the two found a way to sneak out.  There's another gap in the fence.  Dad knew about that one. but didn't worry about it because we're too big to get through it.  Dad blocked it with some pieces of scrap tombstone that a friend of his collected (he was a sculpter).  Now the pups are in our yard and we want to play with them.  Mom thinks they  belong to someone.  We want them to belong to us.  I doubt that'll happen though.  Once again, we're just enough already.
Dad's gonna take 'em to the APS later to see if they've been microchipped and if they can put them up so they will be safe.  Dad's gonna put up signs around the neighborhood.  We'll see what happens.  They just want to be loved.  Is that so wrawng?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Unauthorized Personel</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76891</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 18 Sep 2005 18:45:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76891</guid>
		<description>I'm afraid that anyone who read the location of Isobel's crisis retreats is going to have to have th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I'm afraid that anyone who read the location of Isobel's crisis retreats is going to have to have their minds erased.  This is a far more benign alternative than what may be suggested by our Security Chief Yoshimi.  After what happened at her vet's office there's no telling what would happen under these circumstances.

Now just hold still, and try to relax.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Money Can't Buy You Love</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76718</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 17 Sep 2005 08:28:42 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76718</guid>
		<description>So I watched the Supreme Idiot give his little speach the other night.  Wow, you'd think this guy wa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So I watched the Supreme Idiot give his little speach the other night.  Wow, you'd think this guy was a "tax and spend liberal" the way he wants to throw the money around.  Oh wait...he's not gonna raise taxes because the money to pay Dick Cheyney and company...I'm sorry--Haliburton--is gonna magically appear out of his butt.  Oh no wait...he's gonna slash social benefits like Medicare, Medicaid, federal support for school lunches, all those things that aren't very important unless you're old, poor, a child...

In an Isabel/Isobel administration the bill for Katrina is going to be paid by the appropriate parties--the insurance companies who are currently trying to defraud Katrina victims out of their money, denying their claims, draggin' their feet, because the Supreme Idiot says he's gonna magically pull the money out of his butt...there I go again...I mean he's gonna steal it from old people, the poor, and children.

As long as he's throwin' all that money around I say he should fund the building of storm shelters that will also accomodate peoples' animals so they don't have to leave them behind (which my parents could never bring themselves to do) or stay in harms way to protect their animals.  Now admit it, that's a brilliant idea.  But what does the Supreme Idiot care?  If a hurricane came to Washington he and his dog would just go to the secure basement of the White House...oh there I go again...no he wouldn't because he'd be in Crawford pickin boll weavils out of his butt while everyone else suffered.

Now moving on to more campaign promises.  In an Isabel/Isobel administration there will be free treat vending machines conveniently located adjacent to parks, paths, and other recreational areas.  All treats will be human grade foods.  There will also be fountains galore just for dogs (please pee outside the fountain).  And your humans will never have to pick up your poop again because the Supreme Idiot and his administration will be sentenced to 50 years of poop duty as punishment for screwing everything up so badly.  This punishment will extend to any and all televangelists that contributed to his campaigns.

I will also ram through Congress a constitutional amendment that will make it illegal for any member of the Bush family to ever run for any public office ever again.

I will also appoint Meridian to head up a commission to research the practical applications of her amazing floating magic faery poo.  Normally this would fall under Rosie's purview, but it is after all Meridian's discovery.

Isabel/Isobel: Practical solutions for impractical times.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>MY BIRTHDAY!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76377</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 15 Sep 2005 19:56:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/76377</guid>
		<description>Well, my rebirth day anyway.  Two years ago I was brought home to a whole new life of love, fun, and ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, my rebirth day anyway.  Two years ago I was brought home to a whole new life of love, fun, and silliness.  I got cured of separation anxiety, got a web page, a sister and a new home with a great yard and a park and lots of doggy friends.  I have a couple of shout outs:  To the folks over at the Durham APS--YOU ROCK!!!  Thanks for all your hard work savin' all the animals, findin' them homes, and carin' so much.  You're the best!!!  Glad you like my diary so much.

Then there's Ellie who worked so hard to get in touch with all the Dogster Catrina victims.  You go girl!

Jockomo--WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR AMAZING MOM!!!  You've had it so rough after Katrina, but, "once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right."

And Isobel, Yoshimi, and Kiddo and company--y'all are the best.  We're movin' to Pennsylvania Avenue to poo in the Rose Garden.

I'm such a lucky dog I can't stand it.  I'm getting a new comfy bed.  I got a new orbee ball today, peanutbutter carob cups from Phydeaux--the awesomist store in the world--and had a super yummy birthday dinner.  Now I'm goin' out for my final wee and sleep.  Good night birthday.  It's been real fun.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Heads Will Not Roll</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75896</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 14 Sep 2005 04:12:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75896</guid>
		<description>Just to clarify, we will NOT, I repeat NOT decapitate employers who do not comply with the Four for  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Just to clarify, we will NOT, I repeat NOT decapitate employers who do not comply with the Four for Five Program.  We will however bring back an old tradition from our country's past: throwing people in stocks.  That's right!  Imagine being able to go to the town square with your family to pelt non-compliants with rotten vegetables, old cheese, and yes--Eric Carmen records.  Public humiliation and shaming--a tradition whose return has come.

Vote Isabel/Isobel for truth, justice, cookies, and humiliations galore!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Policy</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75837</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 13 Sep 2005 20:13:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75837</guid>
		<description>It's one thing to announce you're running for President.  It's another thing to actually do it.  I'm ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's one thing to announce you're running for President.  It's another thing to actually do it.  I'm already starting to get questions regarding my scheme to have people work four days, but get paid for five.  I'm staying on message with "volume."  Everyone just looks perplexed.  Then I tilt my head and everyone says, "Aaaaaawww, how cute."  Moo Cow says it's all about looking cute.  We received calls asking if we would pledge to run a non-negative campaign.  I said I would not make such a pledge, that my record would speak for itself.  When asked exactly what my record was I replied, "I've never been indicted, never drove my car off a bridge, never lied about weapons of mass destruction (you know you missed that one), and I'm not the Shrub."  No one's been able to argue with that yet.  

We've also developed a strategy for dealing with any intellectual egg head candidates.  When they start getting all brainy and asking for specifics of my Four for Five program Rosie will just squat and unleash one of her Massive Power Poos.  We escape during the chaos and live to fight another day.

The cats are trying to arrange all my photo ops to take place indoors.  That way I'm less likely to be distracted by squirrels.  Apparently it's not good form to take off running after little furry animals while addressing the media.  What the hell do they know?  

Meanwhile, Isobel is diligently searching for the perfect gavel.  I recommend hickory myself.  It's less likely to break over the head of the junior Senator from Pennsylvania.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>OH HAPPY DAY!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75183</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 11 Sep 2005 19:28:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/75183</guid>
		<description>Well today was the day.  We had to wait a month, but it finally happened.  We got to run free in the ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well today was the day.  We had to wait a month, but it finally happened.  We got to run free in the backyard!!!  It was so awesome.  No leashes just me an' my sis runnin' and jumpin' and chasin' balls, and wrestling.  It was awesome.  We even got to touch noses with the new neighbor dogs.  They're awesome.  The whole thing was awesome.  Did I mention it was awesome?  Dad was afraid that I wouldn't come back inside, but after we were all tuckered out he just opened the door and we went right in.  Then I zonked out on Loveseat.  I love Backyard.

My birthday is coming up this week, well my adoption day anyway.  Dad already got me one present-a new Planet Dog Earth Ball.  It's much better than a tennis ball.  He said I'm gonna get some more presents on my birthday.  Sweeeeeeeeeeeet.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>A New Dawn</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/74831</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 10 Sep 2005 10:33:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/74831</guid>
		<description>It is official:  The presidential ticket of Isabel/Isobel has been sealed.  We are prepared to step  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is official:  The presidential ticket of Isabel/Isobel has been sealed.  We are prepared to step in to take the reins of leadership should the current administration be removed, and will be launching a full blown campaign in 2008.  Let's face it, you can't trust people to do things without screwing it up or screwing someone over.  An Isabel/Isobel administration will stand for truth, justice, lots of pie, riding in Chevrolets, eating hotdogs, and let's not forget peanutbutter, cheese, and lamb chops.

We will also be endorsing institutional belly rubbing siestas, and for the humans:  working four days a week, but getting paid for five.  How can we do it?  The answer is simple--volume.

I would like to thank my bestest pal Isobel for standing with me on this great crusade.  Can you smell it?  It's the winds of change.  Oh wait...that was me farting.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>I'm Mad as Hell!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/73539</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 5 Sep 2005 17:23:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/73539</guid>
		<description>Okay, I know that we're not really a political site here, but after spending the last few days tryin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Okay, I know that we're not really a political site here, but after spending the last few days trying to track down Dogster and Catster katrina survivors I think I'm entitled to a little venting.

So it was bad enough that hurricane Katrina came and went and the President Shrub was still on vacation.  Then the Secretary of Homeland Insecurity-Michael Jerkoff blames everyone but himself for this massive failure.  Then we watched Aaron Broussard-the President of Jefferson Parish crying his eyes out on national television as he described how FEMA kept them from getting supplies, and how a parish employee's mother drowned in her nursing home because no help arrived ON FRIDAY!!!  Now we find out that the Director of FEMA has no prior disaster managment experience.  He's the former college roomate of a guy who worked on Shrub's campaign.  No wonder everything is completely screwed up.

Am I the only dog who thinks the Shrub should be impeached and removed from office?  Not that Dick Cheney is much better.  That would sorta be like giving the anti-christ the keys to heaven wouldn't it?  Oh wait, I'm Jewish.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>What's Goin' On?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/71339</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 27 Aug 2005 12:42:50 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/71339</guid>
		<description>I'm kind of freaked out.  Our pal Bubba passed over the Rainbow Bridge this past week and I'm feelin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I'm kind of freaked out.  Our pal Bubba passed over the Rainbow Bridge this past week and I'm feelin' so bad.  He was such a good boy.  I'm gonna miss him.

On a completely different subject-most of my dogster pictures turned into ?'s for some reason.  I had to upload all my photos all over again.  It wasn't that big a pain, and frankly I think the new order looks better.

What else.  Dad cut the grass with this electric lawn mower he borrowed.  I could hear him shouting colorful metaphors every time the thing came unplugged.  He has vowed to buy a gas powered mower as soon as he has some leftover money, despite the artificially jacked up price of gas.

We went for a big walk this morning.  Dad uncharacteristically jogged today.  His doctor told him he needs to get a minimum of 30 minutes of sustained exercise a week.  I admit that I didn't help his cause, stopping to sniff certain areas of interest.  But Dad was persistant in getting me going.  I sorta got the hang of it.

Rosie met Prudence in the park yesterday.  She was freaked out by how similar they look.  She said her mom is really nice too.  She kept petting her and telling her what a good dog she is.  Rosie has certainly become a more confident dog since we've moved where she can meet so many people and dogs.  Some people get put off when she barks and growls.  But she only does that really when she thinks she's not going to get to meet a dog or person.  She never growls or barks at people who approach her, just when they pass her by without saying hello.  I guess she feels snubbed or something.

I'm starting to lose interest in this whole France invasion thing.  Sure the monkeys are singing Volare, but I mean come on.  I think we should just get it over with already.  In fact I'm going to tell Rosie right now that it's now or never...]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>New Pics!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/71178</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 26 Aug 2005 18:33:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/71178</guid>
		<description>So the film finally came back from the chemist.  Look at my new primary...that's me in Big Chair.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So the film finally came back from the chemist.  Look at my new primary...that's me in Big Chair.  It's obvious why I love it.  Keep in mind that this shot was taken before Loveseat came into my life, but still.  I feel like a talkshow host in that chair.

Then at the bottom you can see me sharing Big Chair with my little sister Rosie.  She's cute isn't she?  Check out her new photo.  You can see her sitting in G.G.'s chair watching the neighborhood.  Someone has to protect the house, and it sure ain't gonna be me.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Bigger Than A Bread Box</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/69733</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 21 Aug 2005 13:36:36 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/69733</guid>
		<description>We got this new piece of furniture.  It looks like Sofa, but it's not as big.  It's bigger than a br ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We got this new piece of furniture.  It looks like Sofa, but it's not as big.  It's bigger than a breadbox, but smaller than Sofa.  It's called Loveseat.  I don't care what it's called, I love it.  I can sleep like the Heisman Trophy again! I can sit next to Mom and Dad and get my belly rubbed!!!  Last night Nora and I snuggled on it.  I haven't gotten to sleep with Nora in a long time.  This is great.  Everyone should have a loveseat!  The best news is that Dad says eventually we'll get a sofa too.  Loveseat and Sofa?  I might explode.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Farewell To Sasquatch</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/69474</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 20 Aug 2005 11:21:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/69474</guid>
		<description>As many of you know I have come to have great respect for my Marmot Master, Sasquatch.  Alas, we hav ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ As many of you know I have come to have great respect for my Marmot Master, Sasquatch.  Alas, we have moved away and I am no longer able to bask in the glow of his incense and peppermints.  But we did have one last meditation session together.  He was very patient, trying to teach me the art of fart levitation.  He was impressed, if not stunned, by my gas output, but I couldn't seem to make the mental leap that would allow me to transcend time and space.  He said I must visualize myself as a feather floating on a jet stream of fart gas.  I'm trying real hard.  In fact, at this final session I swear I could feel a draft under my butt, I think I really did catch some air.  He said, "You've taken your first steps into a larger world."  Thanks Only One Canoli.  I'm gonna get this leviation thing down, even if I have to asphixiate the entire neighborhood.  Hey Dad did I spell asphixiate right?  It's y-x not i-x?  Big deal, I'm not changing it.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>WEEE'RRRRRRRREEEEEEE BAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/67141</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:37:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/67141</guid>
		<description>It seems like forever since we've been on Dogster.  So much has happened.  We've moved into our new  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It seems like forever since we've been on Dogster.  So much has happened.  We've moved into our new house.  The settling in process is well under way, though we're still living out of some boxes.  The backyard is awesome, though we have not been able to run free yet since it still needs some clean up, and a full survey of the flora (gotta remove anything poisonous).  

Due to the concentration on moving, the kung fu groomer monkeys have all been placed in suspended animation.  They are blissfully dreaming of eating bananas, and grooming French people.

Let's see, what else...the park.  The park is so great.  We go for long walks every day.  Rosie has found two new nemesiseseseses--joggers and bikers.  She loves to bark and growl at them.  She finds this to be very amusing.  She has gotten much better about meeting strangers though.  She's very good about meeting new dogs (the ones she likes), and lets their owners pet her on the head.  Of course she barks like crazy before she meets them, but once they are close she quiets down, and sniffs politely.  The park has really helped her socialization skills.

What else...oh yeah, I brought a stray dog home the other night.  I was takin' my final wee of the night.  He had been on the front porch of our neighbor but came over to say hi to me.  Dad took me inside and put him in the backyard.  He was a little nervous since the yard wasn't fully cleaned up, but he spent the night s curled up by the gate snoozing.  He's such a sweet boy, with a great big head.  Mom and Dad had animal control take him to the APS where he could get cleaned up.  If his family doesn't claim him I'm sure he'll find a new home.  He is a super sweet dog.  Very well mannered, and undisturbed by barking dogs.  I want him to live with me and Rosie, but Mom and Dad say that wouldn't be fair because they couldn't handle three dogs.  I guess they're right.

Well, I got lots to do so I'll write more later.  I've got lots of catching up to do.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>New Habit</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/61537</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 23 Jul 2005 05:51:35 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/61537</guid>
		<description>I refuse to eat standing up.  I simply will not do it.  It is beneathe me.  Especially since I expec ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I refuse to eat standing up.  I simply will not do it.  It is beneathe me.  Especially since I expect to soon be the Grand Vizier of France.  Instead I jump up on Big Chair and sit while I wait for my bowl.  Then once it's down I lay down and casually take out one piece of kibble at a time like candy.  I am a lady of quality dontcha know.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Born Free</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/60910</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 20 Jul 2005 20:35:27 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/60910</guid>
		<description>For those of you who read Rosie's journal you know that Mom and Dad rescued a Yellow Bellied Slider  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ For those of you who read Rosie's journal you know that Mom and Dad rescued a Yellow Bellied Slider turtle the other day.  Well the hospital called and said they were ready to discharge her.  Dad went and picked her up and took her down to the water she was headed to so she could lay her eggs.  After walking us he went to check on her.  She split the scene and must have found a good place to lay her eggs.  Good luck girl!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Rockin' Good News!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/59542</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 15 Jul 2005 11:02:57 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/59542</guid>
		<description>We just got an email from the SPCA.  Andi, the doggy Mom rescued a few weeks back, got adopted.  Now ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We just got an email from the SPCA.  Andi, the doggy Mom rescued a few weeks back, got adopted.  Now she'll be able to get treated for her heartworm, and have a new start in life with her forever family.  We couldn't be happier for the girl we think of as our step-sister.  We'd check the website every night to see if she was still there.  Last night we looked, and she was gone.  We feared the worst, but emailed the shelter to find out what happened.  They emailed back and said she had been adopted last week, and that they will keep all the animals there until they are adopted.  

Best of luck to you Andi in your new home.  Have a wonderful life!!!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>What A Long Strange Drip It's Been</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/57650</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 7 Jul 2005 18:06:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/57650</guid>
		<description>Well, it seems the runny river has finally come to an end.  It took nearly four days, but at last ev ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, it seems the runny river has finally come to an end.  It took nearly four days, but at last everyone is regular. Mom and Dad had a rough time, especially Dad who missed a bunch of work, which probably didn't make some of his coworkers very happy.  Well no one bats an eye when someone misses work to take care of a human child, except maybe the heartless crybabies of the world.  Anyway, we're back none the worse for wear, hydrated, solid, and okay.  Thanks for takin' care of us!  And thank you to all the dogsters who mailed and posted to wish us well.  That really meant a lot.

Sasquatch came out today.  He's lookin' very fuzzy and cute.  I'm gonna miss that furry little guy when we're gone.

We had a little spontaneous Gene Kelley moment on my walk tonight.  The bands from that hurricane were coming through.  We went out while it was off and then it turned on all of a sudden.  We got soaked.  Dad thought it was hysterical.  He was laughin' and jumpin' in the puddles like a kid (glad he's feeling better, he was in pretty bad shape last night and this morning).  I, on the other hand, was not nearly as amused and tried to stay dry under a cedar tree.  Dad responded the way he usually does when I do that, "If I'm gettin' wet, you're gettin' wet."  We went home to wait out the rain so I could pee unencumbered.  Then it was time to towel off and relax.   Aaaaaaahhhhhhh...it's good to be regular again.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ya Feelin' All Right?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56902</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 5 Jul 2005 03:54:38 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56902</guid>
		<description>I'm not feelin' too good myself.  I've had projectile squirtage for the past day and a half.  I'm de ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I'm not feelin' too good myself.  I've had projectile squirtage for the past day and a half.  I'm definately out of sorts.  Dad thinks it might have been from the bone I had on Sunday.  This usually doesn't happen, but I'm pretty miserable.  He's gonna stay home with me and cook me some rice with a little plain chicken broth.  The doctor people said to keep an eye on me to make sure I don't go any further south and be ready to bring me in if nessa.  I hope Dad doesn't get some fool notion that the bones are no good for me.  I think this is just a freak thing, but I hope it's over soon.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Stay Away Tippy!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56552</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 3 Jul 2005 14:41:23 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56552</guid>
		<description>So when I go out for walks we go by this grove of cedar trees (that's where Dad and I found the bird ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So when I go out for walks we go by this grove of cedar trees (that's where Dad and I found the bird).  Whenever we do, there are these birds that come flying down at us, making all this racket.  Then they perch in the trees, yelling at us with these funny voices.  Dad says they're mockingbirds.  He likes them because of their singing, especially when we're out walking at night.  He said that one time he heard a mockingbird make a sound like a cell phone ringing.  He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't seen the bird doing it.  Well I don't know about the singing, but when they start dive bombing me it gets to be pretty irritating.  One of them pooped on my ear in my own backyard!  I don't know what they're on about.  I've never eaten a mockingbird before, and I don't plan on it.  But if this keeps up who knows?  If I wasn't so busy helping to plan our invasion of France I would be figuring out how to deal with these crazy birds.   But if everyone's favorite stubby despots, Hitler and Napoleon, have taught us anything, and I'd like to think that they have, it's to not open a second front; especially if there is a lot of snow involved, and the leader of the country you're invading has a bigger mustache than you--even if the vodka is good.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Top Secret?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56470</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 3 Jul 2005 06:32:03 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/56470</guid>
		<description>I was sworn to secrecy on this, but now that it's on Rosie's page I can talk about it.  Rosie is wor ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was sworn to secrecy on this, but now that it's on Rosie's page I can talk about it.  Rosie is working on making a TV news anchor that runs on cheese.  It's purpose will be to fill the minds of viewers with her propaganda, lulling the populace into a state of complacency so that we can begin our invasion of France (which we've been told is somewhere in Texas).  You see, the problem with France is the heavy sauces.  They are decadant, and most likely filled with nasty things that the French think are exotic, like caterpillar testicles and the like.  This practice has gone on far too long and we will not stand for it anymore.  The plan is to dress as mimes pretending to be health inspectors.  Once in the restaurants of France we release the Dung Beetles.  Wait...knowing the French they will most likely turn the Dung Beetles into some exotic ingredient.  What could we possibly unleash on them that even the French would find disgusting?  

I must meditate..........................................................we will unleash the nutter butter, spandex, rice cakes, and bobble heads!  Thanks Isobel.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Thar She Blows!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/55523</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 28 Jun 2005 19:44:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/55523</guid>
		<description>Dad walked me around and around and around and around and around and around.  Then at last it happen ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad walked me around and around and around and around and around and around.  Then at last it happened.  I found the perfect spot.  I assumed my squat.  And then silent as the flutter of a butterfly's wing...I MADE A TRULY SOLID POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was perfect.  Moist, but firm.  Compact, and easy to pass.  No lingering, no repeat squattings trying to get the last little squirties out.  It was a thing of beauty.  If Rosie had been there she would have surely eaten it.

Dad was excited too, but is reserving his real elation until it's consistant--we've been here before.

Last night was pretty ugly.  One of us, I'm not saying who, peed on the bed in the middle of the night.  Dad woke up with a wet sensation on his leg.  Needless to say he was displeased.  Mom remade the bed with clean sheets while Dad lathered, rinsed, repeated.  We made up later.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Plucky Update</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/55423</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 28 Jun 2005 13:10:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/55423</guid>
		<description>I got a progress report on my little birdie friend.  It's a robin after all.  That's what I thought  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I got a progress report on my little birdie friend.  It's a robin after all.  That's what I thought at first, but someone at the hospital thought it was a bluejay.  Anyway, they said Plucky's doin' great.  He's in an aquarium (must be taking swimming lessons) with a brown thrasher, and another robin.  They said he's growin' like a weed.  That's good because when he's back in the wild I'm going to find him, chase him, and make him fly away.  I love birds!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I Sing The Song of the New Food</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/54679</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 25 Jun 2005 22:11:49 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/54679</guid>
		<description>Well, the California Natural is definately improving things.  I'm not licking my paws as much, and m ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, the California Natural is definately improving things.  I'm not licking my paws as much, and my poo is starting to firm up.  Even my coat is softer and shinier than ever.  I didn't think that was possible.  I may even be softer than The Moo, though that might be pushing it.

Rosie got bathed with the new shampoo.  Now she smells like vanilla and i wanna eat her up.  I thought Dad was gonna get me next, but he has to wash more towels first.  At least I get somewhat of a reprieve.

Dad called the Wildlife Center to find out how Plucky is doing, but he called on the wrong day.  He can't make a status call until Tuesday.  I'm sure the little birdie is fine.  I hope so.  He was so cute.

Well, I'm gonna zonk out.  I had to chase the vanilla bean all over the house and now I'm beat.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>More Food Again</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/53978</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 23 Jun 2005 04:22:22 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/53978</guid>
		<description>Once again we're changing foods, and once again it is because of my sensitive bell.  We've been eati ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Once again we're changing foods, and once again it is because of my sensitive bell.  We've been eating Innova for awhile now, and it's making my poos runny.  I love it, but it doesn't love me.  So now we're trying California Natural.  It doesn't have all that fruit and veggies.  It's mostly chicken-YUM, and rice with minerals and vitaminees.  I sure like it.  Now we're  just waiting to see what comes out of my waste ejection port.  We tried Chicken Soup for the Dog Lover's Soul; also tasty, but still a very complex recipe.

I also have licky paws.  Hopefully that will clear up with the new food too.  If not we may try the lamb.  I sure hope I'm not allergic to chicken; that would suck.  We're also going to have to talk to the vet to find out if there are other allergy possibilities.  Food first though.

There's also new simple recipe foods from Wellness (thanks Renton for the tip on that one).  The have a duck, and a venison formula.  Thank goodness there are options, and so mighty tasty.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Super Dog To The Rescue</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/53156</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 20 Jun 2005 08:49:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/53156</guid>
		<description>Dad took me out for a walk yesterday evening.  As we were going I noticed something with my super sn ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad took me out for a walk yesterday evening.  As we were going I noticed something with my super sniffer.  I stopped and pointed for him.  It was a baby bird.  A big storm blew through and must have blown it out of its nest.  There was no adult bird looking after it, and was too young to be a fledgling so we had to help it.  Dad took me home right away and got a box with some paper towel inside to put the bird in.  Mom cleaned out the bathroom so it would have a safe place to be (as long as it had not developed any sense of smell yet ;)).

Then they went online to try and find any advice on what to do.  They found a site that said you could grind up dog food with some other things and feed it with tweezers.  Dad tried the ground up dog food, and stroked the top of its beak with the tweezers to coax his little mouth open, but no dice.  It was getting late so they figured it just wanted to sleep.  They turned off the lights and sure enough it went right to sleep.

They knew they couldn't keep the bird.  It's illegal to keep wild birds, and they knew they wouldn't be able to give it the kind of care it needed anyway.  I remembered that our pup pals Lyla and Hud's mommy works for the APS that Rosie and I came from, and might know where to take it, so I emailed them.  Sure enough they had the answer.  We're very lucky to have a wildlife rescue hospital not far from us.  I got the web address and Dad called them and they said he could bring the bird by in the morning.  The lady also said to put warm water in a bottle, put the bottle in a sock and put it in the box with the bird to help keep it warm.  Sure enough the little thing snuggled right up to it.  It was so cute.

In the morning it woke up and started chirping.  Dad fed us and took us to out for the morning pees and poos.  Then he got our little buddy and took it to the rescue.  The lady said it was in real good shape and would probably make it.  She said she thought it was probably a blue jay.  She gave us his case number and said we could call to check on his progress.  Dad's very proud of me for finding the bird ( I call it Plucky).  I'm feelin' pretty good too.  I saved the bird!  Well I guess I should give some credit to the Piedmont Wildlife Center since they're the ones actually taking care of the bird.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Inquiries Made</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52732</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Jun 2005 11:45:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52732</guid>
		<description>Dad called the SPCA where Andi is staying to find out if he and Mom can donate money to help pay for ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad called the SPCA where Andi is staying to find out if he and Mom can donate money to help pay for her heartworm treatment.  I can tell Dad would like to bring her home.  She has a sweet face, and seems like a very gentle dog.  But even Dad, pathetic St. Francis that he is, doesn't think it would work out.  He and Mom have their hands full as it is with us and the cats.  But she'll have a better shot if she can get treated for her heartworm.  Too many people will pass her by because she's sick and needs treatment.  Well, we think that's crap so the least we can do is get her treated.  Maybe we can foster her if she's doesn't find a forever home right away.  Of course then Mom would get attached and we'd end up keeping her.  

Truth is if we didn't have Rosie we'd probably have a better shot with her.  Rosie had a lot to overcome getting used to being with me and the cats.  I don't know if she would be able to do it again.  Especially with Andi's disposition.  The SPCA feels she needs a more quiet home.  Well, between Rosie's barking at intruders (real and imagined) and our romping and wrestling, it might be too much for the girl.  I guess we just need to deal with the heartworm and have faith she will find a home.  Mom and Dad always say that everything happens for a reason.  Mom found Andi lost in the road and helped bring her in.  I think she's destined to find a good home.  Everything will happen the way it should I guess.  But I think we all know that if Andi was facing, well, I won't say it, Mom and Dad would take her home and find a way to make it work.

I just hope she'll be all right.

We found out today that Sasquatch's meadow is going to be turned into a park.  I have very mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand it will be nice for neighborhood kids to have a nice place to play.  On the other hand, that's Sasquatch's home.  He's got a great thing going there with his tree and stream and everything.  Groundhogs don't take kindly to encroachment.  Quite frankly I think the humans are gonna be in more trouble than Sasquatch.  He's taking a very Zen approach to it all of course.  He'll wait and see what happens.  Then he'll start chewing the hoses of the cars in the neighborhood.  Hell hath no fury than a marmot's scorn.

On a lighter note I can hear Dad going to the freezer.  That can only mean one thing; BONES!!!  I'm out.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Four Species</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52688</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 18 Jun 2005 07:21:53 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52688</guid>
		<description>Dad has always said that I've got four breeds in me; German Shepherd, Lab, Black &amp; Tan Coonhound, an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad has always said that I've got four breeds in me; German Shepherd, Lab, Black & Tan Coonhound, and Husky.  He's decided to change my secondary breed designation to Black & Tan because he thinks I've got more of that than Lab.  Duh!  I sniff EVERYTHING, nose to the ground, and up in the air.  Now he thinks he's some kind of brilliant taxonomist.  Just feed me breakfast if you please Gregor Mendl.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Won't You Please Help Andi?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52176</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 15 Jun 2005 21:05:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52176</guid>
		<description>Our mommy helped rescue a dog last week.  He picture is up on the Wake County SPCA website.  They've ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Our mommy helped rescue a dog last week.  He picture is up on the Wake County SPCA website.  They've named her Andi.  We can't adopt her since there are already four of us.  She really needs a more mellow home.  Unfortunately she is heartworm positive, and needs treatment.  The SPCA says they will put up $250.  We emailed them and asked them to tell us what the balance is.  If you can help contribute, and/or want to adopt her you can contact the SPCA at adoptstaff@spcawake.org, or call at (919) 772-2326.  Ask about ID#A034221.

To see her sweetness go to http://www.spcawake.org/pet_search.html

She's a real sweet dog who deserves her shot at a good life.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>What Could Be Worse?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52073</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:47:43 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/52073</guid>
		<description>On his way home Dad saw a dog on the side of the road that had been struck and killed by a car.  He  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ On his way home Dad saw a dog on the side of the road that had been struck and killed by a car.  He was really angry and sad.  He thinks it's a dog they saw wandering across the road a few days before.  They stopped to try and help it, but it ran into the woods.  Mom and Dad can't understand why people are so irresponsible with their animals.  I mean, it's not like I haven't run away before.  But my parents don't let me out without a leash, like most of the dog owners on our street.  Maybe this dog was a stray, we don't know.  It's just sad to see.  I wish every dog had a home where they were taken care of and were safe.  All you dogs out there in Dogster land go to your mommies and daddies right now, make a cute sad face, and kiss and hug them and say thank you for taking such good care of you!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Bone Fight</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/49865</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 6 Jun 2005 05:13:21 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/49865</guid>
		<description>Rosie and I had a big row the other day.  We hadn't gone at it this bad since Rosie first came here. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Rosie and I had a big row the other day.  We hadn't gone at it this bad since Rosie first came here.  It was over food of course, bones specifically.  Mom and Dad went to Phydeaux to get us some raw bones to help us keep our teeth clean.  We when he gave 'em to us I was the only one interested.  Rosie didn't seem to care, which was very unusual.  So Dad gave her a Flossie to chew.  Trouble was that she finished the Flossie in about two seconds.  Then she wanted my bone.  Before ya knew it teeth were bared and we were going at it hard core.  Mom stepped in, which she knows she's not supposed to do, and pulled us apart.  Dad took the bone away.  Rosie snapped out of her red rage and did her best to comfort me.  I was pretty upset.  She got me by the neck.  Rosie spent the rest of the day comforting me.  She didn't really hurt me, but she sure scared the crap out of me.

Yesterday Dad let us try again.  Rosie and I each took our bones and chomped for awhile in our own places.  There was no arguing or anything.  Rosie took special care to avoid me while we had our bones to let me know she wasn't gonna get mean with me again.  Dad blames himself.  He says he should have given Rosie something else to chew, or taken my bone away.  Duh!]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>YES!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/49112</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 3 Jun 2005 02:58:16 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/49112</guid>
		<description>We're moving to a new house that's even better than the first one we looked at!  It has a fenced in  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We're moving to a new house that's even better than the first one we looked at!  It has a fenced in yard, and Dad says that I get to be OFF LEASH!!!  But I have to be supervised because otherwise I might dig my way out and run all over the neighborhood.  Whadya mean MIGHT?  Of course I would do that!  I don't mind.  If I get to play ball and don't have to worry about turning, before I run out of line on my flexi-leash, that's fine by me!  We still have a few weeks until we move.  I can hardly wait.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>New Home?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/48103</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 30 May 2005 07:11:24 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/48103</guid>
		<description>Well, it's becoming increasingly obvious that we need to move a little closer to Mom's new job.  It' ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, it's becoming increasingly obvious that we need to move a little closer to Mom's new job.  It's not an emergency so we're taking our time.  We need to find just the right place.  We saw a house last night that might be perfect for us.  It sounds like it will fit our needs.  Best of all, it has a big park right across the street.  There's even a fenced in tennis court which means we might be able to regularly run off leash!  Dad says that he has to make sure there are no rules against that, and we'd have to make all our poos and pees before we went inside.  See, I can't be trusted off leash in an open space because I love to run, and don't come when I'm called.  Well I do, I just won't let myself be leashed.  Most of the time I have to run on my Flexi-leash.  I've gotten really good at it.  I can run and turn before I run out of length, and I can run in big circles.  Dad also sprints with me.  I really get my heart going, and get lots of good exercise.  So if we can't use the courts, I'll still get my exercise in the park.  It's also a much more walk friendly neighborhood than where we are now.  Not as many hills though.  Going up hills is good for the muscles, but we can always take a field trip.  Dad called about the house so hopefully they'll get to go inside and look at it.  I hope it works out 'cause I like the neighborhood.

I have the best parents 'cause they say the most important thing is that they find a house that's good for us.  They looked at a place the other day that seemed great, but it's near a busy street, and there's nowhere besides the yard to walk us 'cause there are no sidewalks.  The property was pretty big so we could get exercise, but we wouldn't be able to explore, or meet other dogs, or smell their pee and stuff, which any dog will tell you is super important, and Mom and Dad don't have time to drive us to a good walk all the time.  So I'm sending out my good house vibes that this house will work out.  If it doesn't we'll just keep looking until we find the right one.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Food Decision</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/46875</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 24 May 2005 10:38:55 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/46875</guid>
		<description>Well the food decision has been made, not by me so much as by my intestines.   We stopped eating Iam ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well the food decision has been made, not by me so much as by my intestines.   We stopped eating Iams and tried Innova adult dry, which I love.  Then we tried Wellness Super 5 Chicken dry.  I loved that too, but unfotunately it gave me the runs.  I don't know whether it was the fruit, the fibre, or what.  Rosie loved it too, and she didn't have any problems with it.  It's a good food and all, just not for me.  I have a sensitive constitution.  So now we're back on the Innova.  I like the taste of that one better myself.  Rosie liked both, but she'll eat anything. 

I think we're done experimenting for now.  The Innova works, and it's tasty so we're gonna stick with that.  We get their health bars too.  YUM!!  No more pup-a-roni for us.  We also get Old Mother Hubbard snacks too.  I'll say this; food experimenting is fun.

I have not been able to penetrate the Hurley, despite several attempts, lasers, microwaves, and dynamite.  Satisfied that I cannot destroy it, I am returning to my Ultimate Dog Tree experiments.  I hope to have something by the end of the summer.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Reaching Nirvana</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/46375</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 21 May 2005 22:20:37 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/46375</guid>
		<description>You may remember a few weeks back I escaped from my parents and spent the night roaming the neighbor ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ You may remember a few weeks back I escaped from my parents and spent the night roaming the neighborhood.  Well there is part of the story which has, up to now, remained untold.  It is my encounter with SASQUATCH THE MIGHTY MARMOT.  Yes, at last I was able to commune with my muse, to bask in his glory, to have his wisdom bestowed upon me.  I will not divulge all his secrets, but I will share what I can of the experience.

After disturbing every dog in a three block radius I felt something was missing.  I peed on everyone's lawn, taunted the fenced in doggies, sniffed butt, and then it occurred to me that I had not gone to see Sasquatch.  I approached his glen as the returning sun gently kissed the darkened horizon.  A pale fog was lifting from his meandering brook, wrapping the entrance to his burrow in a ghostly haze.  And there he sat before me in a lotus position, a contented smile on his face.

"I have been expecting you Isabel,"  he said.  Stunned at his oracular knowledge I asked, "How is it that you know my name?"

"I've heard your father call you that when you walk by."

"Oh yeah."  I have to say that at that point I was a little less impressed, until he started levitating.

"We have been drawn together through space and time so that I might dispense my wisdom unto you Isabel.  So sit down."  I complied with his request fighting off an overwhelming urge to leap at him, lick his face, sniff his butt, and then attempt to consume him.

"What is the meaning of life?"

"Why does everyone always ask me that?  It's really quite simple.  The meaning of life is to stuff your face with grass, and make it with as many girl groundhogs as you can and then going to sleep when it starts getting cold."

"Well that might work for you, but I'm not a groundhog.  I'm a dog."

"Duh!  What did you expect to hear?  I'm not a dog you idiot.  How should I know the point of your existence?  What do you like to do?"

"Well, I like to eat, play, get my belly rubbed, run around, sleep, sniff things, chase things, pee on things that other dogs have peed on, hang out with my family, and eat more."

"Then you should do those things all the time."

"Wow.  You're so deep."

"Of course I'm deep.  I'm a levitating, talking marmot.  Now be gone before I turn you into a hippo."

"You can't turn me into a hippo."

"Yes I can."

"No you can't."

"Oh shut up."

"Well if you can turn me into a hippo let's see ya do it."

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"I don't feel like it."

"Can't do it you mean."

"Oh bite me.  On second thought don't bite me.  Go away!"

"Fine, but you are a major disappointment."

"Oh well so sorry that I fail to please you.  And I suppose that being allowed to be in the presence of a levitating, talking marmot simply isn't good enough for you.  Oh no, we want to know the meaning of life.  So cerebral aren't we with your high and mighty dog  nose all shiny and wet, and your wagging tail?  You think you're so superior don't you?  Well I bet on your best day you couldn't do this..." 
With that he released a cloud of gas from his butt so foul that I could not help but be impressed.  He floated into the air and vanished from sight.  I have not seen him since.  And so has ended my quest to find SASQUATCH THE MIGHTY MARMOT.  Sure he can float, but what a crank.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ears</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44924</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 14 May 2005 05:55:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44924</guid>
		<description>For some time Dad has been wondering where my ears come from.  They're not German Shepherd or Lab ea ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ For some time Dad has been wondering where my ears come from.  They're not German Shepherd or Lab ears.  They're not husky or black and tan coonhound ears either.  Dad thinks they might be Leopard Dog ears.  I just keep telling him they came from my doggy mommy and daddy, but I don't remember who they are.  I don't even know if I miss them or not.  I wonder how my pups are doing.  I had a litter before the APS got me.  Dad thinks that might have something to do with my separation anxiety 'cause I got taken from my pups.  No one really knows, and I'm not sayin'.  What is this the Dr. Phil Show?  All I know is that I've got it just about as good as it can get.  I've got my new mom and dad, I've got my kitties, my Rosie, all my toys, good food, fresh water, belly rubs, treats.  Yep it's pretty much complete.  Sure there are a few things missing--Sofa, and being able to run around the neighborhood without a leash--but we'll get new Sofa, and the running thing, well I get a lot of exercise with Mom and Dad, and there's too many cars around here.  I guess it's not fair to make them worry by running around all over the place.  I just like to run and visit all my doggy friends.  

I don't know what to tell Dad about my ears.  He sure likes 'em though.  He and Mom always rub 'em and scratch 'em.  They also like the way they bounce when I walk, and how I can make 'em stand up alternately or at the same time.  I can pull 'em back, or make 'em stick out like wings.  They're much more versitile than Rosie's little floppers, but she does have cute ears.  

Well, it's just about breakfast time.  I like to get in a morning wrestle with Rosie, and maybe a round of Harass the Cat, but it's time to pester for  food.  Then maybe a good Orbee session before the Hurley Wars continue.
Life rocks!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Hurley At Last</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44495</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 11 May 2005 18:23:48 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44495</guid>
		<description>Dad has spoken of it for days and at last it has come home, the ultimate toy--THE HURLEY.  At first  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad has spoken of it for days and at last it has come home, the ultimate toy--THE HURLEY.  At first look it's nothing special, just a rubbery bone-esque shape.  But this toy comes with a claim.  It is guaranteed against "dog damage."  If we're able to chew it up the company will replace it for free.  How can they make this claim you ask?  Well let me tell you.  It's made with Zogoflex.  I don't know what Zogoflex is, but I love it.  I'm doing my very best to destroy it.  Chomp it, chew it, slam it on the floor.  It's amazing.  Even Rosie has been unable to make a dent in it.  I have suspended my Ultimate Dog Tree experiments so that I can dedicate all my time to attempting to destroy THE HURLEY.  The rest of my time is spent trying to get my Hurley back from Rosie.  Speaking of which....]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Great Day!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44110</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 9 May 2005 19:56:46 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/44110</guid>
		<description>Dad wasn't feeling well today so he stayed home!  Hooray!  That meant getting some extra belly rubs  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad wasn't feeling well today so he stayed home!  Hooray!  That meant getting some extra belly rubs on the bed and stuff.  Later Dad was feeling better and wanted to get some fresh air.  We went for a walk and then Dad drove us to town to get some new chewy things.  He got us these Bully Stix which are tendon chews.  Yummy!  I chewed on mine like a lady.  Rosie chewed on hers like a Visigoth, or maybe a Vandal.  No wait...they destroy works of art.  Anyway they were good.  Then Mom came home and we jumped all over her.  Then she did her daily hair sweep.  It's sheddin' season all right.  Then Mom and Dad went out to get Mom some shoes.  I thought she meant shoes for us.  But they did come home with two new Nylabones for us so it wasn't a total loss.

They also said they found the perfect bed for me at Petsmart.  They said it's the Cadillac of beds.  They've looked high and low for a really good bed for me, especially since the death of Sofa.  They say this one is the best because it's big enough for me to do my Heisman Trophy Sprawl, and it's good for my back; thick, firm, but cushy.  I love the sound of that.  I think that will be comin' some time this week.  I love those guys.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Boycott Iams!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43815</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 8 May 2005 08:22:20 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43815</guid>
		<description>For more info on what Iams/Eukanuba is up to, and how you can help stop it, go to Iamscruelty.com an ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ For more info on what Iams/Eukanuba is up to, and how you can help stop it, go to Iamscruelty.com and Uncaged Campaigns at http://www.uncaged.co.uk/petfood.htm  Click on Iams and get mad.

One thing we've learned from all this is it's not enough that your food is good for you.  If the company that makes it harms animals then what's the point?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Score!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43661</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 7 May 2005 12:15:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43661</guid>
		<description>Well, Mom and Dad came home with a big bag filled with stuff.  We were very excited, but didn't get  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, Mom and Dad came home with a big bag filled with stuff.  We were very excited, but didn't get to see anything until Dad cleaned up the carnage from the styrofoam cup war.  Then we got to eat.  The new food is really good.  Dad mixed it with our old food 'cause we have to acclimate to the new stuff.  Then Dad whipped out new toys.  They're these rubber bones from Planet Dog called Orbees.  Dad says they're virtually indestructable.  We'll see about that.  Anyway we love these bones more than our kongs, unless there are cookies in them, and they smell minty.  They got us some more surprises so we have that to look forward to later.  I love my mom and dad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Food Glorious Food</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43584</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 6 May 2005 22:07:34 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43584</guid>
		<description>Well over the last few days we've learned a lot about our food.  Most importantly we've learned that ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well over the last few days we've learned a lot about our food.  Most importantly we've learned that, well quite frankly, it sucks.  We've been eating Iams, which thanks to our pup pal Quig, we found out is a pretty poor quality food.  Dad decided to Google Iams (I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds kinda gross).  Well he found out that not only is their food crappy, the company is owned by Proctor and Gamble which contracts testing labs that do all kinds of horrible things to dogs and cats :(  Boy did Dad ever get bent outta shape about that.  PETA has a whole site about it, and they've got a boycott going (not Dad, the food ;)    

He felt so bad about feeding us garbage, and mad about what was happening to the animals that he went right to work trying to find us better quality food made by people who don't do invasive testing.  We're going to try Innova.  It sounds like a good product, and they do no invasive testing.  They have this great facility where dogs stay  for food studies where they have lots of exercise outdoors and social time and all they do is eat the food.  No surgeries like debarking and stuff.  And best of all Dad found out there's a cool store that sells all kinds of high quality foods and snacks nearby.  He's gonna go tomorrow to hook us up with our new food and ween us off the crap.  Moo and Nora are getting new food too.  Food can be trial and error thing.  I guess we'll see how this goes.  Maybe we won't like it, but it sounds too delicious to not be super tasty.  Then again I have been known to eat a cat poo or two :)

I'm no soap box preacher or anything, but if you're eating Iams, Eukanuba, or Purina anything go on a hunger strike 'cause animals are being tortured.  There really is GOOD food out there.  Go to the forums section and log onto the food stream.  You'll find Quig there and a link to a site with all kinds of information about different foods.  And check out PETA's site to find out more about the boycotts.  How these things happen without me knowing is beyond me.

Bottom line is I'm looking forward to getting new food.  That's a win win from where I sit.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Nervous</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43004</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 4 May 2005 06:18:07 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/43004</guid>
		<description>Well, today is the big day.  Our pal Emma is finally getting her heart surgery.  The doctor says it' ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, today is the big day.  Our pal Emma is finally getting her heart surgery.  The doctor says it's an easy procedure.  That's as maybe, I'm still nervous.  I know her mommy is probably a wreck.  Send out your good vibes that she gets through it okay and gets better soon :)]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Well, It's Morning</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/41916</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 29 Apr 2005 06:22:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/41916</guid>
		<description>It was a typical morning this morning.  Mom got up and went to work.  I snoozed on the bed with Dad  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It was a typical morning this morning.  Mom got up and went to work.  I snoozed on the bed with Dad and Rosie.  Then Mom came back I think and I got back on my own bed which, quite frankly, is woefully inadequate.  Since we no longer have sofa I require a little more of a substantial bed.  Dad's looking into the budget to see if we can't squeeze out a little money.  That means he has to ask Mom if it's okay.

Then Dad got up.  We greeted him with the traditional jump and wiggle dance.  Dad got dressed and fed us and took us out for the morning relieving.  It was raining so I peed quickly and went right back to the front door.  Then it was Rosie's turn.  Dad fed the cats and whoosh went out the door to work.  Snooze in Big Chair time.  Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.  It's not Sofa, but it will do.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>We're Baaaaaaaaack!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/41059</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 25 Apr 2005 13:25:14 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/41059</guid>
		<description>We're back from Doggy Camp.  We had lots of fun.  We got to run around the play yard and elude the h ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We're back from Doggy Camp.  We had lots of fun.  We got to run around the play yard and elude the humans who tried to catch us.  We got to do lots of wrestling, and we got new kongs because Dad forgot to bring our toys.  He had to buy us toys at camp so he got kongs figuring they were the least likely to be destroyed.  We did our best to lead a great escape but our plans were foiled.  It's just as well.  Who wants to lead a bunch of crazy dogs anyway?

We got to ride back in the big wagon.  We love the big wagon.  There's lots of room to spread out and the windows are good for stickin' your head out and gettin' some air.  Doggy Camp was fun, but it's good to be home on soft beds, and Big Chair, and we get to fight over squeaky road sign even though we each have one.

Well, I gotta go and get m squeaky road sign back from Rosie.  We may have been at doggy camp, but that doesn't mean we're tired. ;)]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Success and Doggy Camp</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/40602</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 23 Apr 2005 05:03:08 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/40602</guid>
		<description>We have returned from our quest to humiliate the GIANT SPACE CHICKENS THAT MAKE HUGE CORN-LADEN POOS ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We have returned from our quest to humiliate the GIANT SPACE CHICKENS THAT MAKE HUGE CORN-LADEN POOS.  I'll let the Moondog tell the heroic tale.  I'll simply say that we saved the world from enslavement and leave it at that.

We're going to Doggy Camp this morning!  HOORAY!  I love doggy camp.  I get to run around and lick new people and have lots of fun.  And today is Rosie's first time going.  We're going to share a room.  Dad says we're going full on style complete with manicures.  This is going to be awesome.

Hey remember Emma, the dog that needs the heart surgery?  Well she has her own website now at www.savethemunchkin.com.  Her story is there, along with pictures of her and her family, and information about pulminary stenosis.  Her mom is still trying to raise money for the surgery so there is a donation page.  She said that if there is any money left over she's going to use it to start a fund for people who need help paying for medical procedures for their pets.  I think that's really cool.  My mom had to let a dog she found hit by a car be pts because she didn't have the money.  It wasn't even her dog.  No one ever wants to be in that situation.  So if you want go check out her site.  Emma is a great dog and needs our help.

Well, I gotta go pack for camp.  I need my budda bone, and my squeaky, and tug sock, and the ring of fun, and...what?  I can only take one toy?  Man, that sucks.  Well, I guess I'll take my budda bone.  It's the most versitile.  Well, have a great weekend everybody.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>What a Long Strange Trip It's Been</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/39620</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 19 Apr 2005 06:21:02 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/39620</guid>
		<description>Hahahahahahhahahahahahaha!  I got out I got out!  I had big time fun.  I ran around and hazed every  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Hahahahahahhahahahahahaha!  I got out I got out!  I had big time fun.  I ran around and hazed every dog in the neighborhood.  I aquired a stinky smell.  And I have uncovered the horror that is the GIANT SPACE CHICKENS THAT MAKE HUGE CORN LADEN POOS!  I can't write about that now because I'm too tired.  Dad just bathed me because I stank, and Rosie is making up for lost time.  I also have a new nickname;  Roverandom.  Dad says the name comes from a story by JRR somebodyorother about a dog who ticks off a cranky old wizard who turns him into a toy and has all kinds of adventures.  Dad wishes he could turn me into a toy about now I think.  I'll give him credit.  He followed me all over the place this morning until I was too tired and finally decided to submit.  It's good to be home.  I just hope Rosie will let me sleep.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Rub</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38897</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 16 Apr 2005 05:44:47 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38897</guid>
		<description>Ya know what I love?  I love to stand up, put my paws on Dad's knees, and nuzzle his face.  Then he  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Ya know what I love?  I love to stand up, put my paws on Dad's knees, and nuzzle his face.  Then he scratches my armpits.  aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.  Dad must procure more fuzzy road signs.  We love them.  Not only can we play tug o' war with them, they have awesome squeek action.  This toy wins the Rosabel Award for endurance.  Never has a fuzzy toy lasted more than about an hour without being completely obliterated.

Life without the sofa is starting to wear thin.  It's harder to find a comfy place for belly rubs.  Dad lays down next to me on my bed to rub the bel' but it's not the same.  I hope this issue gets resolved soon.  The old couch finally got taken away.  The bulk garbage men must have hawled it away yesterday.  Mom didn't even notice til Dad saw it was gone.  Those guys are so sneaky.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Rosie Needs To Be Bad More Often</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38580</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 14 Apr 2005 18:50:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38580</guid>
		<description>Every time Rosie attacks something we get new toys.  Today she ate another book.  Then Dad came home ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Every time Rosie attacks something we get new toys.  Today she ate another book.  Then Dad came home with these squeaky things.  One looks like an Eric Carmen record.  Since we are well trained we have virtually destroyed that one.  The other is a fuzzy highway sign, not nearly as harmful as an Eric Carmen record so we are letting it live for now.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>Dad's Home!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38328</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 13 Apr 2005 18:21:13 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/38328</guid>
		<description>Dad was gone for five whole days.  That's the longest he's been away since I adopted him and Mama.   ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad was gone for five whole days.  That's the longest he's been away since I adopted him and Mama.  He went to be with his dad who had surgery.  Grandpa is recovering nicely.  I sure missed my daddy though.  Rosie did too.  She just went apey.  She tried to eat a remote, and she ate one of Mom's old books.  As with many things Rosie eats that she shouldn't, what goes down must come up.  Sometimes she can be such an idiot.  I keep telling her to stick to shoes, but she always goes an overextends herself.  

I don't like it when Dad goes away.  I love my mom and all, but I miss it when Dad sings me the Shellies Song.  It's all about me and how great I am.  And he sings it when he rubs my belly.  He sang a short version this morning while he got ready for work.  Things are getting back to normal at last.  I use the word normal loosely of course ;)]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>The Debate Continues</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36927</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 7 Apr 2005 06:27:05 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36927</guid>
		<description>Dad saw Sasquatch again.  Of course I never get to because of the other stupid dogs in the neighborh ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad saw Sasquatch again.  Of course I never get to because of the other stupid dogs in the neighborhood that always seem to be getting there and scaring him before I get to do it.  He got a really good look and says he looks just like a groundhog only he's brown.  Later on he'll go blond.  We're still going with calling him Mighty Marmot because, after all, the groundhog is a marmot.

I still kinda wish it was Leonid Breshnev's eyebrow.  So does Dad.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Ode to a Sofa</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36821</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 6 Apr 2005 16:29:59 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36821</guid>
		<description>My softest divan a sleep sedan,
The altar of comfort for dog and man.
Your price was small your va ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My softest divan a sleep sedan,
The altar of comfort for dog and man.
Your price was small your value great,
The try to save you came too late.

Belly rubs and blissful slumber,
Your perfect size did not encumber.
Light in weight for Mel Brooks' Brophy,
And room to sleep like the Heisman Trophy.

Your fabric like some ancient relic,
Of auld lang syne more psychedellic,
Could not withstand dog nails and teeth,
Thus sleep no more it shall bequeath.

On yonder street it now doth sit
A shredded smelly piece of #$*&%*@,
For garbage men to haul away.
We'll get another one someday.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Death of a Sofa</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36690</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 6 Apr 2005 06:56:29 PDT</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/36690</guid>
		<description>It was only a matter of time.  It had been showing the inevitable signs of decay.  Of course we're r ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It was only a matter of time.  It had been showing the inevitable signs of decay.  Of course we're responsible, and by that I mean Rosie.  The stuffing was being yanked out of the cushions, and Rosie went to work on one of the arms.  Then there was the smell.  We don't know where it came from but the couch just began to stink.  Now it's on the curb waiting to be taken away by the men in the bulk garbage truck.  My dear friend, my constant companion, my ultimate bed--gone.  We didn't even have it a year, and I didn't like it nearly as much as our old sofa, which I bet Mom and Dad wish we had kept, but I loved it just the same.  Now I am relegated to sleeping on my dog bed, or the big bed, or perhaps Big Chair.  I must wait for the decision.  Will we be moving this summer, and if so, will they replace the sofa before we go?  They are going to keep an eye out at the used furniture dealer.  We need the right combination of durability, comfort, and size.  I can't think about it now.  Where's my sackcloth and ashes dear until recently apolstered friend?  I shall miss you.

On the brighter side I found out that Maggie2 got adopted by people who already have an older dog.  So now she not only has a home, she has a new doggy friend to live with.  Ya gotta love it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Raining AGAIN!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/35785</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 2 Apr 2005 04:09:51 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/35785</guid>
		<description>I am sick and tired of this rain.  Sure we get a couple of days that are nice, but then it rains.  I ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I am sick and tired of this rain.  Sure we get a couple of days that are nice, but then it rains.  I just had to pee in it.  I HATE THAT!  I've decided that the only thing to do is build a weather machine.  Now I know what you're thinking.  Believe me, I will not be working with any materials nearly as hazardous as Rosie's poo.  Goodness knows we don't need a repeat of that disaster.  But enough is enough.  I know we need the rain to make the grass and trees grow and all that, but it needs to rain at more convenient times; like when I'm sleeping.  Perhaps I could even make it so it would rain in specific places, like at that chiuaua's house, so it would have to stay inside when I'm walking and not completely irritate me.  Of course I'm still working on developing my Chicken Grillers Tree.  I'm trying to make it so that it will have peanut butter sap, and challah leaves.  That way I can get all my favorite snacks from one source.  Gregor Mendel eat your heart out.  Actually, that's kinda gross.  On second thought don't eat your heart out, just get jealous.

I would ask Rosie to help me, but we all know what would happen.  She'd start having delusions of grandeur, then poo would be involved, then FEMA.  Besides, she's still obsessed with tracking down the Giant Space Chickens that make the bizzare corn poops.  She's just nuts.  I guess it's up to me.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I'm Off The Pills</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/34314</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 26 Mar 2005 22:31:00 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/34314</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad have been weening me off the Clomacalm I've been taking for my separation anxiety.  They ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad have been weening me off the Clomacalm I've been taking for my separation anxiety.  They used to give it to me twice a day.  Then they started giving it to me once a day.  Then they cut back the amount and started giving it to me every other day.  Now I'm off it completely.  No more pills!  It was a long road, but I'm over my separation problems.  Now I know that Mom and Dad will come back, and I don't have anything to worry about.  I don't even wreck the house when Mom and Dad take Rosie to school and leave me with the cats.  But I sure get excited when they get home.

Some people might think that giving pills to a dog is stupid.  Well I'm here to tell you that it saved my life.  I used to be a wreck.  I would try to eat my way out of the house.  But taking the meds, and the training we did, and time really made a difference.  Mom and Dad are really excited and happy for me.  I'm happy too, but I still hope I'll get my peanut butter even though I don't need it to help me take my pill.  They wouldn't cut off my peanut butter would they?  WOULD THEY OOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  Just kidding.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Big Deal</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/34174</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 26 Mar 2005 09:30:38 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/34174</guid>
		<description>So Dad barfed on Rosie, big deal.  Rosie's barfed on almost everything in the house.  The rug, the f ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So Dad barfed on Rosie, big deal.  Rosie's barfed on almost everything in the house.  The rug, the floor, her bed, the yard, wherever.  I think if Dad wants to puke on the dog he should be allowed, as long as that dog is not me. 

I am not sucking up! That's Moo's job.  So what?  Dad likes me best!  Yes he does so bphpbphp!

 Of course if he does puke on the dog again I think Mom will make him clean her up, regardless of what kind of shape he's in.

It's a lazy day so I'm gonna go be lazy.  Dad says we're gonna watch that game where the people chase the ball back and forth.  It's so dumb.  They keep trying to put it in a basket, but then it falls out.  They ought to fix that.  People think they're soooo smart.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Let's Get It On</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/33416</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Mar 2005 19:32:02 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/33416</guid>
		<description>So Rosie and I went on yet another failed attempt to harrass Sasquatch The Mighty Marmot.  But we di ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So Rosie and I went on yet another failed attempt to harrass Sasquatch The Mighty Marmot.  But we did see and hear some thing very peculiar.  Near the entrance to Sasquatch's burrow we saw a bunny.  It was sitting very still, but I swear I could hear Marvin Gaye echoing from the burrow.  I think they had a date. 

I've been pretty busy the last few days trying to help my friend Emma from NM.  She's got pulmonic stenosis and needs an expensive operation to get it fixed or she could be taking a short trip to the Rainbow Bridge.  I've been contacting my pup pals urging them to go to her page and find out how they can help.  There have been quite a few responses.  I know Emma and her family appreciate it.  We dogs gotta stick together I say.  If you read this, and I haven't harassed you about this already, go check her out.  She's a great dog.

I wish I had something more witty to say.  Someone once said, "There's only one thing worse than being witty and that's not being witty."  Of course that person also said, "There's only one thing worse than playing cricket, and that's playing it by yourself."  People are weird.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Appeal for Maggie2</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32842</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Mar 2005 08:21:56 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32842</guid>
		<description>There is a new dog on Dogster listed as Maggie2, she's from Santa Clara California.  She's up for ad ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ There is a new dog on Dogster listed as Maggie2, she's from Santa Clara California.  She's up for adoption and needs a home.  She's 10 years old.  She may be older, but she's still got love to give and get.  If you live around there go to her page and look at that sweet face.  She deserves to have her final years in a loving home, and not at some shelter, even though they are treating her so well.  That's all I've got to say about that.  Y'all know what to do.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Test Results</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32796</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 19 Mar 2005 20:39:07 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32796</guid>
		<description>Dad went to visit Sasquatch today.  He performed his tests and came back with the following results. ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad went to visit Sasquatch today.  He performed his tests and came back with the following results.

Firstly, and most important, Sasquatch is not a nutria.  It's tail is nowhere near long enough, and it's furry.  The nutria's tail has very little hair.  Sasquatch's tail is fluffy.

Dad then offered him Stolichnaya.  Sasquatch replied, "What do think I am Leonid Breshnev's eyebrow?"

Then Dad asked him what he was.  Sasquatch replied, "Why should I tell you.  You figure it out," and proceded to crawl back into his burrow.  

We also ruled out muskrat because they live in huts sorta like a beaver dam, but not, and also have pretty furless tails.

Sasquatch has to be some kind of marmot.  Dad thinks it's a golden, or yellow bellied marmot, which are not from around here.  But who knows.  We see his kin all over the place.  He's definately not a groundhog like say Punksatawny (sp?) Phil.  He's a marmot.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  So from now on Sasquatch will no longer be known as Sasquatch The Massive Groundhog.  He will be known as Sasquatch The Mighty Marmot which, quite frankly, has a better ring to it.  The change will be reflected with emphasis on my page.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Test</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32030</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 16 Mar 2005 09:58:28 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/32030</guid>
		<description>Dad, sensing my flusterness over the taxonomy of my Sasquatch, has devised a simple test to determin ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Dad, sensing my flusterness over the taxonomy of my Sasquatch, has devised a simple test to determine whether or not the critter is marmot, nutria, or eyebrow.  If the tail is short and fluffy it's marmot.  If it answers to solicitations for Stolichnaya it's Russian eyebrow.  If the tail is long it's nutria.  If it is the latter I'm not sure how I will take it.  Nutria are basically parasites in these parts.  A fluffy prognosticator of climate is one thing.  A giant parasitic rat is a whole other thing.  The nutria's habitat tends to be wetland marshes and coastal plains.  We have them near the coast.  To have them so far inland in a not exactly wetland area can't be good.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  People have their place.  It's standing behind us pickin' up our poo, feeding us, and rubbing our bellies, not introducing new species into foreign habitats in the hopes that they will then be able to control them.  Kudzu springs to mind.  Though I like jumping in it, it's not so great for the trees and stuff.  But I digress.

I don't think I'll be able to maintain my relationship with Sasquatch if he turns out to be a nutria.  I will rename him Toilet and forever not like him for he shall have deceivithed me forsooth.  That's not cool.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sasquatch Hunt-Day Two (To the tune of Inagodadivida)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/31686</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 14 Mar 2005 20:43:42 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/31686</guid>
		<description>I know it was supposed to be Peter Gunn but Dad said if I didn't agree he was going to play &quot;I'm All ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I know it was supposed to be Peter Gunn but Dad said if I didn't agree he was going to play "I'm All Outta Love" by Air Supply.  I didn't have much of a choice.

With Rosie largely over her vomiting, and with Sherpa #2 in tow (Mom) we left base camp and made our way back to the hunting grounds of Sasquatch The Mighty Groundhog.  We took a slightly different route this time in hopes of surprising him.  Alas, the wiley little shlemiel out foxed us (or is that out groundhogged us?) again.  He was nowhere to be seen.  Though from the soda cans, bottles, and food wrappers strewn about by his otherwise meandering stream we figured he was either recovering from a wild party, or stupid idiot humans were trashing his digs and he was composing a formal complaint.

Currently there is a growing controversy regarding Sasquatch's species.  I am convinced he is a groundhog due to his marmot like shape.  But it has been remarked by some that he is in fact a Nutria.  I have done some research and believe this is incorrect.  As best I can tell the Nutria is like a giant rat that has gotten out of control in Louisiana.  Sasquatch is definately not a giant rat.  There are others who believe that Sasquatch is in fact one of Leonid Breshnev's eyebrows that, due to radiation exposure from Chernobyl, has grown in size and hitched a ride on Aeroflot and is now living in our town.  Though this is more plausible than the Nutria theory, I would think that an eyebrow of a dead Soviet leader that came to life from radiation exposure would be trying to break into Hollywood or something like that.  Certainly if you were to apply Akkam's Razor it is obvious that Leonid Breshnev's living eyebrow would be in L.A. and not here.  Why must I always be the voice of reason?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Hunt Can Resume</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/31190</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 12 Mar 2005 18:35:43 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/31190</guid>
		<description>Thank goodness Rosie finally took a dump.  I've been languishing in the duckblind and I'm out of mar ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Thank goodness Rosie finally took a dump.  I've been languishing in the duckblind and I'm out of margaritas.  We need to get back on the trail of Sasquatch.  I've asked our Sherpa (aka Dad) if he would please bring some music so we could have a soundtrack, ya know like Boo Radley.  I thought maybe instead of Wagner we could blast Flock of Seagulls, or maybe The Knack.  Dad says he wouldn't play either of those.  He thought Inagodadivida would be better, but I can't stand Iron Butterfly.  We spent hours negotiating.  Finally we agreed on the theme from Peter Gunn.  Then Dad dropped the other shoe and said he couldn't walk Rosie and I and hold a boom box at the same time.  I cut one in his general direction to express my disappointment.  Dad offered the following compromise:  When you dear readers are following the story of our hunt for Sasquatch he says you should visualize us wearing Ray-Bans and black Italian suits strutting down the street to the theme from Peter Gunn.  I think that's totally stupid, but Dad's alittle loopy so just indulge him.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sasquatch Hunt-Day One</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/30488</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 9 Mar 2005 17:23:21 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/30488</guid>
		<description>I have spoken often, and with great enthusiasm about Sasquatch the Mighty Groundhog.  Spotting Sasqu ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I have spoken often, and with great enthusiasm about Sasquatch the Mighty Groundhog.  Spotting Sasquatch is a relatively simple matter.  Conquering the beast is another story entirely.  Sasquatch is an intelligent, and highly resourceful little bugger.  He's also very cute.  But do not be deceived.  He can be a vicious bloodthirsty killer like in that movie with those British guys, something about snakes and a holy snail or something.  So if you are a wuss read no further for death awaits with nasty pointed teeth.


We struck out from our base camp, our Sherpa holding our leashes.  We made our way through the treacherous jungles stretching up the slopes of Kilamanjaro.  On the first leg of the journey we came upon a small group of howling beasties with floppy ears.  We approached with reckless abandon pulling our Sherpa until we were able to make nose contact.  We attempted to  sniff tushy but were unable to position ourselves for the greeting ritual due to a barricade that had been erected around the perimeter of their village.  At our guide's behest we reluctantly moved on, but not before we asserted our dominance over an awkwardly placed recycling bin.  

Our next encounter was with a large furry beast with whom we did not agree.  Much growling and snarling was met with limp opposition.  I left my mark and kicked dirt in Rosie's face.  That's what she gets for being a nosy nellie.  

We crossed a path frequently used by advanced primates, who have largely ceased to walk upright, prefering to  travel in strange metal boxes.  These devices have given the creatures an ever expanding range of migration, and    ever expanding waistlines.

We came across one of their young.  We barked loudly to stave off the threat, and continued on to the hunting grounds of our quarry.  We attempted a stealthy approach, but were betrayed by our baser reflexes again.  We could not help but bark at a passing dog and its Sherpa, perhaps attempting to horn in on our groundhog.  We had foolishly alerted Sasquatch to our pressence.  By the time we reached his meadow he was gone.  We decided to make camp.  I sat in the duckblind and sipped margaritas while Rosie pitched the tent.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>HE HAS BEEN SEEN!!!!!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/30025</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 7 Mar 2005 17:41:48 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/30025</guid>
		<description>It is official.  At @ 2:45 pm est SASQUATCH THE MIGHTY GROUNDHOG WAS SPOTTED IN HIS MEADOW!!!! DAD S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It is official.  At @ 2:45 pm est SASQUATCH THE MIGHTY GROUNDHOG WAS SPOTTED IN HIS MEADOW!!!! DAD SAW HIM WHEN HE DROVE PAST!!! YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!  I'm so happy I'm so happy hooray hooray hooray!!!!  My littledarlingfuzzygroundhogfriend has emerged from his winter den at last.  It must have been awe inspiring to see his mustard brown fur glistening in its post-hibernation radiance.  There he was nibbling on grass or something just being so awesome and furry.  Man I just love that groundhog.  I wish Dad had time to take me over but he was on his way to the store and then he had to go back to work.  By the time he got back it was dark.  But just knowing he's there is enough.  

The Sasquatch Watch is officially over.  Now it's time for SASQUATCH HUNT!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Why You Do It</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29643</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 5 Mar 2005 20:21:39 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29643</guid>
		<description>I was laying on the couch last night with my dad, and I was thinking, &quot;Why on earth do people put up ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I was laying on the couch last night with my dad, and I was thinking, "Why on earth do people put up with all the crap we dogs dish out?"  You know what I'm talking about; the chewing, the peeing and pooping in the house, having to walk us in all kinds of weather-sometimes in the middle of the night, when we destroy your Eric Carmen records (let's face it--that's doing you a favor), etc.  Then it suddenly became apparent.  You do it for that moment when we're placidly laying next to you on the couch, toes twitching, chirping in our sleep, as we dream about destroying your Eric Carmen records.  You sit down next to us, gently rub our bellies, and we turn and put our legs out like the Heisman Trophy. And at that moment you feel so glad we're there, that you've given us a place where we feel safe enough to crap on your carpet, and turn over so you can rub our bellies when we could just as easily bite your hand off and watch the blood come spurting out--pssssshhhhhhhh....And ya know what?  We love you for it.  Thank you.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Busted!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29369</link>

				<pubdate>Fri, 4 Mar 2005 11:46:16 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29369</guid>
		<description>Well, it had to come to an end sometime.  Dad finally figured out why Rosie and I keep digging at, a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, it had to come to an end sometime.  Dad finally figured out why Rosie and I keep digging at, and pulling up the carpet.  He found our crumbled cookie stash under the rug.  It's all Rosie's fault.  I told her a thousand times to stop pulling the rug back while Mom and Dad were around BUT NOOOOOO!!!  And she did it while he was sitting at the computer in perfect view.  At first he was filled with dread because he thought it was vomit and had visions of it being ground into the carpet with a long afternoon of scrubbing before him.  Boy was he ever relieved.  He laughed at us, called us "silly dogs," and swept up our treasure trove.  We followed him to the porch in the hopes that he would dispense our hard fought booty to our eager, waiting maws, but it was not to be.  We watched dejectedly as he dumped the crumbs into the trash.  But he made it up to us.  He finally felt well enough to take us on the big neighborhood walk. 

 That's when we ran into Mom.  She was on her way home and pulled over so we could come over and say hello.  She drove home through the big torrent from the fire hydrant.  A man was letting the water spray out.  Since Mom is a very silly person she decided to drive the car right through the big spray.  She thought that was funny.  She acts like a big kid sometimes.  Dad thought about taking us over there, but decided against it.  Thank goodness.  I can't take that big a spray like that.  I don't even like the garden hose that much.  The shower is one thing, this was ridiculous.

We walked on to Sasquatch's meadow.  I know I suspended Sasquatch Watch, but I couldn't resist.  Of course he wasn't there.  Then we went to the bc mix's house.  Rosie had to spoil it by barking and growling.  We calmed down so Dad let us go over to say hello through the fence.  The collie was quiet as she approached and then snapped at us with nasty sharp pointed teeth.  Things went much better with the poodle mix across the street.  We'd never seen that dog before.  We had a nice little sniff through the fence.  Then Rosie finally got to meet Sammy and Romeo at "House of Hound."  They liked her right away.  They're great dogs.  I always enjoy seeing them.  

We're finally home and I'm exhausted.  I'm going to sleep on the rug, which was a lot more comforting when there were cookie crumbs underneath it.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>TOYS AT LAST!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29089</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 3 Mar 2005 08:08:44 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/29089</guid>
		<description>Mom and Dad have finally started filling out our toy collection.  I am particularly thrilled with th ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mom and Dad have finally started filling out our toy collection.  I am particularly thrilled with this thing known as KONG.  When I was doing my behavior training for my separation anxiety I wasn't really into it; even when they filled it with peanut butter.  But now I LOVE IT!  They put cookies in it and I go to town.  I can't believe I was missing out on this.  Of course Rosie has to try and steal my Kong even though she has one of her own already.  She's such a toy hog.  At least she has vowed to end her scientific pursuits.  That just gets me in trouble.

I heard Mom and Dad talking.  They're taking Rosie to school.  I can't believe that I turned out to be the good dog.  I was always being such a spaz.  But compared to Rosie I'm the best behaved dog that's ever lived!  I am the best dog in the world.  No offense to the rest of you-that's just what my Mom and Dad say.  Rosie will achieve this level when she learns to chill out and accept that not every toy in the &*#@%! house is hers!]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Pooper Collider</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28876</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 2 Mar 2005 07:48:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28876</guid>
		<description>We tried to keep it secret but Moo Cow already let the cat out of the bag.  Of course he would--HE&quot;S ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We tried to keep it secret but Moo Cow already let the cat out of the bag.  Of course he would--HE"S A CAT-HA!  Anyway, Rosie and I, using our limited engineering abilities, have constructed an atomic super collider.  I have dubbed it THE K-9 POOPER COLLIDER.  The idea is simple.  By slamming two pieces of Rosie's poo together at a highly accelerated rate of speed we hope to produce and collect a non-radioactive isotope whose energy we could use to provide power to the entire world.  Or it will produce a cloud of noxious gas that could potentially stink up the entire eastern seaboard.  Disclaimer; this idea is not based on any sound scientific principles.  We just thought this up while fighting over a tennis ball and reading our doggy friend's diary.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Couch Issue/Suspension of Sasquatch Watch</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28630</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 1 Mar 2005 07:53:13 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28630</guid>
		<description>Well, we got more toys.  Problem is, they're the wrong size.  Mom bought us large Kongs but we have  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, we got more toys.  Problem is, they're the wrong size.  Mom bought us large Kongs but we have medium mouths.  No harm done.  They can be exchanged for the right size.  

It's kind of a sad day.  Mom and Dad are getting a new couch, just because Rosie and I destroyed the old couch.  I mean two of the cushions are perfectly usable.  They even have convenient holes for plucking out stuffing.  Alas, I'm not in charge of these decisions.  So they're going to the used furniture place to buy another couch.  "Dog Proof" they say.  Nothing is dog proof I say.  Though the couch we had at our old place was pretty sturdy.  I never was able to put a hole in that (though I did chew up a pillow and tore off the dust cover thingy at the bottom--Mom said that was called a sham.  Sham is right--a sham sham--HA!).  Of course that was during my separation anxiety days.  I plead insanity.  In my defense, the holes in the new couch were unintentional.  It's not my fault that the inferior strength fabric was unable to withstand the daily vicissitudes of dogdom.  Dad will you look up vicissitudes for me please? wait....wait...wait...I spelled it right?  No kidding.  Anyway, it's not my fault.  Besides it was Rosie who took it to the next level.  You can't really blame her either.  She's practically still a puppy.  I recommended they get a couch cover as well.  We'll see if they follow my advise.

I guess a new couch won't be so bad.  As long as it's comfortable for me to sleep on.

Dad's still not feeling up to the big walk.  But he promised we'd drive by the meadow to see if Sasquatch is out.  I told him not to bother.  It was the acme of foolishness to think that Sasquatch would be out this early.  The Sasquatch Watch is hereby suspended until the vernal equinox (that's the first day of Spring folks).]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Excitable Dog They All Said  (Sasquatch Watch Day Whatever)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28425</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 28 Feb 2005 08:45:18 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28425</guid>
		<description>Man, people say that I'm a spaz, but next to Rosie I'm down right mellow.  That dog is crazy.  Alway ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Man, people say that I'm a spaz, but next to Rosie I'm down right mellow.  That dog is crazy.  Always runnin' around, barkin' at everything.  Like today, these guys came to take away the old refrigerator.  She went bananas.  My feeling is that I don't need to do anything until they get  close to the house.  She's barkin' at cats, dogs, ufos, whatever comes near the yard.  Fortunately that doesn't happen that often.  Sometimes, like this morning, I kinda feel some pressure to get in on the action so I jumped a little and gave a very low key bark.  I didn't want Dad to think I'm a slacker.

What I'd like her to do is warn us when she's gonna cut the cheese.  Then we would have time to get out of the room.  Mom and Dad used to think I stank it up.  I ain't got nothin' on the Rosebud.  She knows how to blow down the doors.


No Sasquatch Watch today.  It's raining.  I'm completely uninterested.  Wake me up when it's over.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>We Trashed the Couch  (Sasquatch Watch Day 7)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28153</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 26 Feb 2005 18:47:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/28153</guid>
		<description>So there was this hole in one of the couch cushions.  I think I made it with my nails.  Well turns o ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ So there was this hole in one of the couch cushions.  I think I made it with my nails.  Well turns out that Rosie loves to pull the stuffing out.  So we're wrestling and jumping and one thing led to another and the cushion split open like a fat man's trousers.  Whoops!  Let's just say Mom was not exactly pleased.  I guess that's why Mom and Dad buy used couches.  I think they need to get a couch cover too.  One that's Rosie proof.

Rosie gassed a bubba earlier.  I was laying on the bed with Dad.  Rosie decided to crawl under the bed commando style, as is her want, in an effort to sneak up on Nora.  So she's crawling under the bed and I hear this tooot!  It sounded like a little trumpet hiccup.  But the smell!  Ya know the scene in The Ten Commandments when the green fog comes down and the Egyptians start dropping dead?  It was kinda like that but without Yul Brenner.

Dad spent most of the day at the doctor's so no Sasquatch today.  We haven't actually walked by there in awhile, just the drive-bys.  Not even that today.  He better get over this bug soon.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>To the Vet!   (Sasquatch Watch Day 6)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27659</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 24 Feb 2005 10:36:45 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27659</guid>
		<description>Surprise!!  My doctor's office called this morning and said they wanted me to come too.  I got to ri ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Surprise!!  My doctor's office called this morning and said they wanted me to come too.  I got to ride in the car, which I love,  and jump up on all the staff at the office YAAAAAAY!!!!

I got some treats too.  I especially liked that I didn't have to get any shots.

 She wanted to see how Rosie and I behave together just to make sure there wasn't anything to be really concerned about.  She gave Mom and Dad some advice on how to handle us, and reinforce that I am ahead in the grand pecking order.  She also felt that our play was normal, that we were controlling our biting.  She said they should just be mindful when toys and food are out.

Then we went to Petsmart.  I was bummed because we couldn't go inside.  Rosie chewed up her leash on the way to the vet so we had to stay in the car.  But it was worth it.  Rosie's got a new leash, and we both got new nylabones and a big box of Iams dog biscuits. YUUUMMM!

We stopped by the meadow--no Sasquatch.  It's raining and cold.  If I were a groundhog I'd be sleeping too.  In fact I think I'll go take a nap on the couch right now.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sasquatch Watch Update</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27454</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Feb 2005 12:27:43 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27454</guid>
		<description>We just drove by Sasquatch's meadow.  As I suspected there was no sign of him.  I hate being right a ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We just drove by Sasquatch's meadow.  As I suspected there was no sign of him.  I hate being right all the time.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Lazy Day  (Sasquatch Watch Day 5)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27407</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 23 Feb 2005 09:33:54 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27407</guid>
		<description>We haven't done squat today.  Well, we did the morning bathroom walk, ate, played a little bit.  But ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We haven't done squat today.  Well, we did the morning bathroom walk, ate, played a little bit.  But besides that it's been nap nap nap-awesome.  Some days you just have to sack out and do nothing.  That's all Dad is up for.  He's still not feeling so hot.  He's been napping too.  He said that he would drive us over to the store to get another roll of film developed.  He didn't cover the flash this time.  He did forget to turn it on a few times though. Usually he's pretty good about that.  We cut him some slack because he's sick.

Unfortunately, Dad's illness means no Sasquatch Watch today.  It's too bad too because it's a bright sunny day.  Though I have a feeling he won't be out anyway.  We're supposed to have some winter storms move through.  He's probably snug in his bed right now...just like me.

Rosie had a great day yesterday.  She wasn't mean at all.  We played and wrestled and didn't have to be broken up.  She didn't even try to go after my food.  She eats so fast, probably because she had to at her old home or she'd lose what little food she got.  When she finishes Dad plays with her so I can finish eating without being disturbed.  She's starting to get it.  She's gonna make it after all.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>The Decision</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27180</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Feb 2005 08:25:39 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27180</guid>
		<description>Well, Mom and Dad decided to try to work with Rosie.  They decided it wouldn't be fair to take her b ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Well, Mom and Dad decided to try to work with Rosie.  They decided it wouldn't be fair to take her back without really trying to work with her.  After all, that's what they did with me.  So they're putting the living room door back up to separate us when they're gone, and work on training her.  Hopefully her hormones will chill.  That oughta help too.  The pictures of Rosie didn't turn out very well, but we'll find an okay one so at least she can get her page up.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Waiting  (Sasquatch Watch Day 4)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27160</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 22 Feb 2005 06:09:56 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27160</guid>
		<description>Some guy I've never licked once sang &quot;the waiting is the hardest part.&quot;  He was not kidding.  Dad is ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Some guy I've never licked once sang "the waiting is the hardest part."  He was not kidding.  Dad is waiting to hear from the vet about what we can do with Rosie.   We've been playing together on the couch and it's been friendly.  Dad is suspicious.  He's not feeling well so he's home with us.  I hope the doc can help us.  We don't want Rosie to go.  Mom and Dad worked with me and I turned out great.  They want to work withRosie too, but they need an effective plan, and they need to make sure we're safe.  Of course she could also tell us that Rosie simply needs to be by herself and make sure the shelter places her in the proper home.  It's all up in the air right now.  All we can do is wait.

We haven't gone out to Sasquatch's meadow yet.  Dad's not feeling up to it right now.  When we went out for the morning pee though I caught the scent of something.  Rosie smelled it too.  It could have been groundhog.  One day last fall I was walking with Dad, not far from where we were this morning, and this ginormous groundhog stood up out of the grass.  I am not lying-this thing was almost three feet tall on its back legs.  I was so stunned I didn't even point at it.  I just stared in awe.   Maybe Dad will be feeling better later.

The vet called while I was writing this.  She said part of what might be going on is that Rosie is probably still hormonal from being in heat prior to her spay.  It could take a little time for her to settle.  She also said that since we're similar in size, and close in age, that there is no clear dominant dog.  Rosie is young and is testing her limits.  She said the best way to insure our safety is to separate us during the day.  We could remount  the living room door and see how that goes.  Basically she said it is up to us to decide if we are willing to do what it takes to try and make this work.  That's not an easy decision.  They already have one dog with special needs-me.  I guess they need to figure out whether they can handle two.

While Dad was on the phone Rosie and I wrestled some more.  It was congenial.  She's sleeping on the floor.  Mom will be home soon.  We'll sit down and talk about this.  I think I'm just as confused as they are.  We all just want to make the right decision that's best for everyone.  I hate waiting.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Trouble with Rosie   (Sasquatch Watch Day 3)</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27075</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 21 Feb 2005 18:19:32 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/27075</guid>
		<description>I don't know what's going to happen to Rosie.  She's been getting pretty aggressive the past couple  ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I don't know what's going to happen to Rosie.  She's been getting pretty aggressive the past couple of days.  She and I have had two or three serious fights that Mom and Dad had to break up.  Quite frankly I'm pretty unhappy with how this is going.

It sucks because Rosie is such a great dog.  I know she likes me, but she gets very posessive about food and toys.  I spend a lot of time sulking.  Mom and Dad don't know what to do.  They are thinking about taking her back to the shelter.  She would definately do great in a home where she was the only animal, that's for sure.  But we don't know how to acclimate her safely.  The shelter suggested a crate.  If I'm free and she's not that will be horrible for both of us.  Mom and Dad refuse to do that.  We don't have a fenced in yard so we can't put her outside.

What really sucks is that this behavior most likely comes from the home she had before she was surrendered.  They obviously didn't feed her or give her any attention.  There may have been other dogs too.  We just don't know.  Whatever it was it has messed with her head.  It's not fair!

I think the only thing that might get her through this is medication.  We really want her to be part of our family.  I try to be her friend.  But every time I have a toy-even when she has her own-she nips my leg or something and I just go away.  Mom and Dad hate to see me sulking and unhappy.  Right now this isn't good for anybody.  One of our vets is supposed to call tomorrow.  Hopefully she has a practical solution.  If not we're going to have to give her up which will break all our hearts.  But if it means she gets placed in a home that is better suited for her then it's for the best.

She's a really great dog.  I hope we can work this out.

No sign of Sasquatch today.  Honestly I didn't even have the heart to look for him.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>We Must Have More Toys!  Sasquatch Watch Day 2</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26835</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 20 Feb 2005 14:22:05 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26835</guid>
		<description>We simply don't have enough toys to play with.  The Budda bones and tennis balls are okay, but we ne ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ We simply don't have enough toys to play with.  The Budda bones and tennis balls are okay, but we need some stuff to tear apart and sink our teeth into.  Mom and Dad were gonna take us to Petsmart but Mom's really tired.  She's taking a nap and Dad can't manage both of us at the store.  I wish Dad would go already, but he's watching some race on t.v.  I'm gonna be pretty doggone disappointed if I don't get my toys.

Rosie is very excited because Mom and Dad took a bunch of pictures so we can set up her Dogster page.  She wants instant satisfaction, but they haven't gone digital.  They like film.

 That Rosie is a pistol.  First of all, she is a total poopmeister.  Yesterday she pooped 4 times!  Today we went for a walk when she heard something that drove her crazy.  She started barking and jumping.  We went to investigate but didn't see anything.  I went out to poop later and it turned out it was our neighbor's kids in the woods.  I thought it might have been Sasquatch, but we're too far from his burrow.  Still no sign of the mighty groundhog.  I remain vigilant.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Sasquatch Watch Day One</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26606</link>

				<pubdate>Sat, 19 Feb 2005 09:53:34 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26606</guid>
		<description>It's been months since I've seen my Sasquatch.  I miss him.  I know he's hibernating, but the weathe ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ It's been months since I've seen my Sasquatch.  I miss him.  I know he's hibernating, but the weather's been so nice lately I thought he'd drag his lazy butt up out of the ground by now.  I am now beginning my Sasquatch Watch.  I will be checking his meadow on a regular basis now that the days are finally starting to get longer.  He likes to come out in the late afternoon and when he does I'll be waiting to scare him right back into his burrow!

It was so nice to stretch the legs on this bright sunny day.  Stopped by Sammy and Romeo's place, but no one was home.  They were probably out for a walk too.

Time for a nap.  I've noticed we're starting to run low on food.  I hope Mom and Dad take us to the pet store today.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Rosie's Home!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26312</link>

				<pubdate>Thu, 17 Feb 2005 18:56:50 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/26312</guid>
		<description>I'm so excited Rosie's back.  I didn't think I would miss her, considering how she's horned in on my ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I'm so excited Rosie's back.  I didn't think I would miss her, considering how she's horned in on my belly rub time, but I really missed her.  I just moped around the house while she was gone.  It was kinda pathetic actually.  I've had to chill out with her because she's still recovering from the surgery.  She's got a killer scar though. But everything is back to normal now; as normal as it gets in this house!

Rosie has agreed to work on my next political campaign.  I haven't decided what to run for yet, but Rosie promises to make her saddest face to get me the sympathy vote.  With my new found power and influence I will divert government funds away from ridiculous programs, and use them to build my chicken treat machine.  I'm also working on a dog biscuit tree.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Early Bird?</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25936</link>

				<pubdate>Wed, 16 Feb 2005 03:39:07 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25936</guid>
		<description>I've noticed that the entries for my diary list some very early times.  That must be for a different ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ I've noticed that the entries for my diary list some very early times.  That must be for a different time zone.  I hope people don't think I actually have something better to do than sleep in...well maybe go for a walk...but sleep good.

Rosie is getting spayed today.  She's going back to the shelter for the surgery.  They'll probably tell her not to do a lot of jumping up and running.  I did plenty of that after my surgery.  You can't keep a crazy girl down ;-)  Besides everyone knows the worst part is having your belly shaved.  It took weeks for my fur to grow back fully, and it was kinda itchy.  I looked like a freak.

Well the Pyrenees didn't take Best in Show.  Oh well.  Even if you don't win you still probably make enough money to start some heavy r&d on the chicken treat machine.  With a machine like that I could, dare I say it, rule the world!  Well maybe not, but you could eat all the chicken treats you wanted.

Well last night we found out that Rosie can get pretty gassy.  That's great because now when I do it I can just PASS it off on her ( did you like that pun?  normally I PASS on that idiom but I couldn't resist. oo I did it again.  I'm a genius).  Hey I used idiom in a sentence.  What do you know about that?]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>Worms in the Poop</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25770</link>

				<pubdate>Tue, 15 Feb 2005 04:19:18 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25770</guid>
		<description>Rosie went to the vet yesterday.  She's still got worms in the poop.  The shelter gave her a deworme ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Rosie went to the vet yesterday.  She's still got worms in the poop.  The shelter gave her a dewormer supposedly.  I think she got the thing that's not really what it's supposed to be but is something else that really doesn't work.  What do they call that?  Placido, pueblo...placebo that's it.  Thanks Dad.   But the vet said she's in good shape.  Her cough is getting much better, and she doesn't have to take  antibiotics anymore.    

Watched the Westminster Dog Show last night.  I thought the Great Pyrannees rocked!  That is one good lookin' dog.  I could be in a dog show.  I'd take my prize money and use it to build a machine that made chicken treats out of thin air.  Mmm...chicken treats.]]></content:encoded>
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	<item>
		<title>I don't like Mondays!</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25560</link>

				<pubdate>Mon, 14 Feb 2005 05:45:40 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25560</guid>
		<description>Mondays are no fun.  Mom and Dad have to go to work which means I have to lounge on the couch and wa ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ Mondays are no fun.  Mom and Dad have to go to work which means I have to lounge on the couch and watch Animal Planet, sleep and snuggle all day...wait a minute...Mondays aren't so bad, in fact...they rock!  I don't like this particular Monday though because it's raining.  I don't like rain.  I love running in water, but having it fall on my head from the sky is entirely different.  Though I don't mind water from the shower when I'm getting a bath...but I don't particularly like baths.  I'm a very complex dog.

Rosie continues to make progress with the cats, though she still chases them a lot.  Her kennel cough seems to be getting better.  She's taking her medicine like a good dog.  We went for our first big neighborhood walk together.  It went pretty well.  I have to admit that I wasn't paying too much attention to Rosie.  I was too busy sniffing around.  When I walk my Coon Hound side comes out.  Dad says I'm a Swiss Army knife dog because I do so many different things.  I track, point, flush, retrieve, herd, and pass wind ;-).  Of course I haven't done any hunting since I was out on my own.  Though I love to chase squirrels.  And at my first home, when I was off leash, I would herd the deer in the woods.

Rosie has to go to the vet for her meet and greet, and get the rest of her medicine.  I hope she gets better soon.

Well, I've got to take a nap.  A girl needs her beauty sleep.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

	<item>
		<title>I've Got a Sister</title>
		<link>http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25483</link>

				<pubdate>Sun, 13 Feb 2005 11:49:10 PST</pubdate>
		<author>Cosmic Isabel Roverandom ~ writing at dogster.com</author>
		<category></category>		
		<guid ispermalink="true">http://www.dogster.com/dogs/117945/diary/The_spelzer_chronicles/25483</guid>
		<description>My mom and dad are suckers for a pretty face.  They fell for the classic blunder-browsing the aps we ...</description>

		<content:encoded><![CDATA[ My mom and dad are suckers for a pretty face.  They fell for the classic blunder-browsing the aps website.  They saw a cute dog and had to check her out.  Dad took me to the shelter so I could meet her.  Her name is Rosie.  We hit it off right away.  Well now she's home.  It's pretty cool, though I no longer have the monopoly on belly rubs.  I'm still getting plenty though so that's okay.  The big problem seems to be the cats.  She was a bit over the top when she first met them and so they are hiding from her.  Nora is pretty darn mad at her actually, though Moo Cow is starting to warm up to her.  She's only been here for a day so...

I think being a big sister will be cool.  I like having someone to play, and snuggle with who is more my size.  I love my cats, but a dog is a horse of a different color, or dog of a different color, whatever.]]></content:encoded>
	</item>
	

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