We recently brought you a trailer for the new Tim Burton film Frankenweenie. (Have you seen it yet? What did you think?). From the opposite end of the aesthetic spectrum is this trailer for what looks like an ill-conceived, lowbrow movie called Vampire Dog. It’s not really the subject matter that makes it so terrible. (Does anyone remember reading and loving Bunnicula, about the vampire bunny?) But when the trailer for a movie — which is supposed to make you want to see the film — is so awful it makes your stomach turn, it doesn’t bode well for the feature itself.
From this two-minute torture — we mean, trailer — we gather that Vampire Dog is about a boy who, as the new kid in town, struggles to fit in. His grandfather gives him a dog named Fang, who has “been around for a long time.” At first, the cranky old dog seems to dislike the boy. But things get crazy when the dog suddenly speaks — with the aid of some pretty predictable special effects. The plot involves outsmarting a villainous woman who needs Fang’s DNA to create a “youth serum.” It also includes goofy jokes and sight gags that we think even kids will roll their eyes at.
We’re not even sure where the “vampire” part is. The dog doesn’t grow fangs in the trailer, and there are several outdoor daytime scenes. Aren’t vampires supposed to burn up like dry leaves in direct sunlight?
Check out the trailer below. And get some tissues ready. It’s so bad it might just bring a tear to your eye.
The movie says it itself: “Epic fail, bro.”
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