With so much of our correspondences online these days, we need to check the mail less. Most deliveries are packages (yay!), bills that haven’t updated to the 21st century (come on, save some trees!), and sneaky credit card offers (nay).
Want to avoid those bills and credit card offers? We have just the thing. Her name is Bubbles. Don’t be fooled by her whimsical name. Bubbles is a lean, mean, bills-eliminating machine. Those postcards for 20 percent off at Bed Bath and Beyond? Shredded. Those sly credit card offers with all your personal information on them? Devoured. Those fabulous new pair of shoes you ordered from Zappos (and will probably return)? Chewed — oh wait, no, Bubbles, no! Okay, so the Bubbles Bill Eliminator needs a little perfecting, but you get the point.
Here’s how it (ideally) works. Bubbles waits by the door with her squeaky toy. The constant squeak lets you know the Bubbles Bill Eliminator is working. Squeaking increases as the mailman approaches, alerting you to an upcoming mess of shredded paper (yes, that part also needs perfecting). The Bubbles Bill Eliminator is effective immediately — the mail doesn’t even have a chance to touch the floor before Bubbles engages, thrashing about like a shark with a seal in her jaws.
See her in action in this video.
Warning! We can’t be held responsible for chewed-up shoes! Although we hear Zappos has a pretty lax return policy (“Uh, they came this way … I guess they are defective?”)