Tomorrow (Sept. 6) is Fight Procrastination Day, and in a effort to help you be a better you and achieve all you want to achieve, we asked a dog for tips to help fight procrastination and get your life in order. He really came through.
Today it’s time to hit the gym and finally use that membership you bought that summer a couple of years ago. You’ll want to work your core. Go easy at first. Load up on carbs, and protein. Start with a big lunch. Turkey, ham, provolone. How about a bowl of chili from that place you went to yesterday? Or a sausage pizza. Or a meatball sandwich. Or a Philly cheesesteak. Or a some beef stew. Or a burrito. Or a cheeseburger. Or some tandoori chicken. Or a chili dog. Or a beef skewer. Or a macaroni salad. Remember that garlic bread you tossed me this morning? How about that? We’ll figure this out!
With all the 401(k)s and the money market accounts and the overdraft protections and past due notices and collection services coming at you, there’s no excuse to delay any longer in getting your financials in tip-top shape. Take a cue from a dog, and have lunch. Turkey, ham, provolone. Maybe some cured meats? You’ve got your culatellos, your capocollos, your sopressatas. How about a nice cacciatore or prosciutto? A pancetta? Why not arrange it all on a platter with some nice bread and slide it under the couch and I’ll see you later?
In 2014, there’s no reason not to do something you love, like making or delivering food or working in a supermarket or a restaurant or a bar and grill or doing anything really where you can get your hands on turkey, ham, provolone, meatballs, scrambled eggs, chorizo, pancakes, cookies, bacon, spaghetti, dolmas, churros, corn dogs, olives, baked beans, chicken fingers, funnel cakes, ice cream, sourdough rolls, and deep-dish pizza. Jumpstart your career by eating some food!
Why not start by cleaning out the refrigerator? There’s some cheese in there, turkey, ham, provolone, roast beef, a half a sandwich you brought home from the deli 47 hours and 35 seconds ago, watermelon, yogurt, sour cream, orange juice, eggs, a couple sticks of butter, two kinds of milk, some hummus, and that bag of four egg rolls and two fortune cookies. I think that’s everything. Wait, there’s only one egg roll — you already gave me one because I am a good boy. How about we start there and work our way front to back?
Thanks, dog. We should be well on our way to fighting procrastination tomorrow by having a nice lunch.
Are you going to be fighting procrastination tomorrow? Do these tips from a dog help? Do you think the dog knows what procrastination means?
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