Jake the Dog

Full Name (Including Embarrassing Second Names): Jake "The Mouth" Hanson

Age: I can’t count that high in human years. Come to think of it, I can’t count that high in dog years.

Location: A comfy overstuffed chair in a puddle of sun in a house near a beach in San Francisco. I think I did something right in my last life.

Where You Can Stalk Me on the Internet: There’s a handsome photo of me in the bonus material page at www.soldierdogs.com. It might be hard to tell me apart from all the buff military dogs on the page, but see if you can find me.

What I Do for a Living: I have been told that I am a living, breathing stereotype of a dog. I love to eat (anything, the more disgusting the better), sleep, get belly rubs, go for long walks, and chase the neighbor’s cat out of the yard. These don’t pay the bills, though, so I also write an occasional column for Dogster.

What I Do for Fun: Same, minus the column.

The Furry Members of My Household Are: I have outlived the guinea pigs, which was one of my life’s goals. So now it’s just me. There are a few furless, two-legged creatures in my household, but not what you were asking about.

My Favorite Things to Write About Are: I would like to be Dogster’s food critic, but they gave me the job of “Bonehead of the Week” columnist. Whatever. At least it has the word “bone.”

My Pet Peeve Is: How people in my house put my favorite treats on top of the fridge. They don’t even leave homemade pies on the counter any more because of a couple of “incidents,” as they call them.

My Guilty Pleasures Are: Rubber flip-flops, the poor man’s answer to Kongs. I can always find one or two tucked away in a closet or a beach bag.

How I Deal with Dog/Cat Hair: I don’t have to do much to it. Just wash and wear! (That’s what you meant by this question, right?)

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up: A dog. People are always saying I have puppy energy, puppy chewing habits, yada, yada, puppy, puppy, puppy … I hear that Labs stay puppies until at least 10 years old, so I’m getting there.

Stories by Jake the Dog