My girlfriend likes to cuddle with her dog when it growls at my kids...
...and then she tells my kids to leave the room. Not sure what to do.
on Aug 3rd 2011
- Cast your vote for which answer you think is best!
It's just a matter of time till the dog bites one of the kids.
The children have to come first. Tell the GF to correct the dog, take it to classes, whatever it takes, or it (and most likely she) are out.
Snickers answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 2
She is unknowingly teaching her dog to growl at your kids. It should be the other way around. The dog should be told no, sent out of the room, ignored, etc. By cuddling the dog she is basically saying " good boy, good job". This needs to stop before the behaviour escalates to a bite.
Cupcake answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 3
She is not only teaching the dog it's ok to be aggressive (and the dog WILL bite eventually) but sending you a message that she has no respect for you, your children or your home.
Autumn answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 2
You guys need to talk. Tell her how you feel. The kids go first, before the dog. She's teaching her dog that: When i growl. I get affection.
The dog is going to bite your kids.
I wish dogster Asher was here to see this! She has a dog (Asher) who was repeatedly and harshly corrected for growling at people- he started biting without warning instead and ended up at a shelter about to be put down before she got him, and it's been a long road to make him a safe dog again. A growling dog is an uncomfortable dog, a growl means "stay back." If they are not allowed to growl, it can and WILL escalate into biting when they are forced into uncomfortable situations!
Your GF's dog is probably afraid of the kids and doesn't know what to do around them, this is really common. Being punished is not the solution. I think the solution is to work on his fear of kids, not his growling "problem."
Bruno CGC answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 7
Both your girlfriend and the dog need to see a canine behaviorist. Her cuddling the dog while it is growling sends the dog mixed messages. She needs to understand how her behavior is creating a monster...and a ticking time bomb.
Sweet Pea answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 3
Amen, Bruno and Bruno ONLY! What is wrong with you people?! Dont get too cocky boy! I'll bet that dog was there before you and ya little kids too, and you're the one that came into that relationship with kids, she could leave you like *finger snap* that! The kids do not automatically come first are y'all out ur minds?! I'm done with my little angry (but not uncalled for) rant, here's what u gotta do, express to your girlfriend CALMLY your feelings, and do not, I repeat NOT call her dog a "IT", if a guy called my dogs "its" they'd be out my door in 2seconds, and respect her decisions, you can possibly slowly rehabilitate the dog, every time your kids come over have them bring treats he/she likes or a new toy and if he/she allows, let them play with and cuddle the dog to get more comfortable with him/ her, they should eventually get used to each other, but do NOT act like your kids are all high and mighty and more important than her dog
Misty answered on 8/3/11. Helpful? / 1
that's a pretty slim amount of detail. Lots of small dogs don't like kids. They move quickly and unpredictably, they can be hard, loud, and they like to stare at dogs. If you have a dog that's unsure about it, it's a really stressful situation. Yes, the dog needs to be gently desensitized, and it shouldn't be cuddled for growling, but she is right to tell the kids to leave the room, especially if it is the dog's house. You also need to teach your children about how to respect another creature's space. With dogs, don't run, don't make eye contact, and don't face a nervous dog directly. Keep voices calm, don't stomp about, and don't advance on the dog to pet him until he is receptive.
Taggert answered on 8/4/11. Helpful? / 4
Misty..you are wrong..kids must come first. I agree with teaching the kids how to behave around the dog. The GF is wrong for cuddling him when he growls & ignoring the warning the dog is giving. A behaviorist would be a good start & well worth the money if you feel the relationship is worth maintaining. The lack of respect for you & your children is a huge red flag for other issues that will crop up in your relationship.
Wiley answered on 8/4/11. Helpful? / 3
Well I don't have kids or have any desire to have any so my dogs always come 1st before anyones kids as they are my babies. Rossco my JRT hates children apart from my niece so we don't allow kids here as he will snap and this is his home not theres and he was here 1st. My other two dogs are great with kids though.
Molly Doll ( In Loving Memory) answered on 8/4/11. Helpful? / 1
In agreement with the others, Bruno AND the rest. Growling is a warning and if you get rid of it then the dog will resort to biting first instead.
Cookies 'n' Creme (1998-2011) answered on 8/4/11. Helpful? / 4
To all that don't know all the details. My gf dog is agressive toward everyone. She jumps on the kitchen table and would snap at people when they are eating. Me and my kids was the ones who bought the dog for my gf. So misty for your smart ass remarks about her leaving me. The ring on her finger means otherwise. No other animals are allowed in the house. The dog is a pit lab mix. When she was a puppy everything is ok. But when she got bigger we have gotten rid of 3 other dogs cause she wont stop attacking other animals. She chews electric cords and have destroyed a laptop that i spent almost 1000 dollars for and even chewed holes in the floor. Now what should I do. I think getting rid of the dog cause she is causing a lot of problems.
Wow! The second post with more info paints a whole different picture! It sounds like the dog has some serious issues and needs professional help right away. It may not have been socialized and trained well enough as a puppy. It may have an unbalanced personality. I don't know, but a professional dog behaviorist could tell you more. The chewing could be from boredom and lack of exercise. It sounds like you would never be able to trust it around other animals.
Pepper, SD, CGC answered on 8/5/11. Helpful? / 5
Everyone saying the kids come first... Noo. My dogs are my children, and I put my own family before others. Strange children don't come before my own. If you train the dog not to growl, it will just bite. Thats like telling someone not to say stop before yelling or even physically hitting someone. Its a WARNING.
Second, if the children, as they aren't aware that staring into a dogs eyes without blinking is a threat to canines and other animals, stare at the dog, who sounds like he or she is insecure around children already, they are (in the dogs eyes) trying to start a fight. Teach the children not to stare at the dog. Have them carry treats for the dog, and only give treats and affection when the dog does not tense up and/or growl.
You must remain calm, as dogs can sense your aura, and if you are insecure and nervous, that will multiply and spread to the dog, making it either be insecure and nervous or feel that it is the alpha.
Do some studying on Dog behavior and training. GL.
Isabella "Bella" answered on 8/5/11. Helpful? / 1
tell ur girlfrien that she shouldnt let her dumb little dog growl at ur kids. becuz sooner or later the dog is going to bite them. tell her that she should think bout the kids.
I really can not believe all the people who believe that animals should come before the children. This man bought the dog when a puppy. It sounds like it grew up around the children, and it sounds like they have had experience with other dogs-just not aggressive dogs. I do not believe the children are the problem. The gf needs to realize she is praising the dog by cuddling it when it is growling. Growling is a warning, never stop a dog actually from growling: you need to fix the reason why it is growling. It sounds like this is now a grown dog, and not a small one at that. To me it does not seem to be growling out of fear, but is simply aggressive. Check out some behavioral books and such and see what his body language is saying when he growls. Personally, I would have the children completely ignore the dog but not leave the room, the dog should leave if fearful or aggressive. I agree with the others that you should get a trainer involved. Good luck & congrats to u & your gf! :)
I agree with Twister. BUT knowing the breeds I would be careful for problems beyond your control. Not to say that cuddling the dog is good but (I'm not blaming the pit side) the breed might have something to do with it. My family had a lab Dixie, that we got at just shy of 8 months old. She was a great dog for almost 2 years then suddenly she started showing signs of aggregation towards other dogs and people. She also started reacting very badly to thunderstorms and fireworks. If she was ever left alone during a thunderstorm she would go crazy trying to escape the house. She destroyed all the blinds, a dining room chair and she even clawed through a door. The reason for the sudden onset of all this ended up being a brain tumor. We only found out after she attached another dog and had to be put down. The vet said it was likely from bad breeding.
Your dog may not be like this but it may be worth it to not only look into a behaviorist but ask your vet about it as well. Best of Luck
Dixie (In Loving Memory) answered on 8/7/11. Helpful? / 0
she teaches the wrong DECIPLINING to her dog. If that is what's going on, then its time for her to go...that just show's how she feels for your children & you. If i were you i will rid of her, show the door then shut it....i will not tolerate a thing like that if my boyfriend teaches his dog to be mean to my children....there are better ladies out there, my friend...COOL RUNNINGS & GOOD LUCK
I wonder how happy the gf will be as they put her dog down for mauling your child. BAD SITUATION. The dog is on the table trying to take peoples' food? Sounds like a Cesar 'red zone'....maybe your gf's dog should be on an upcoming show....She is doing that dog NO FAVORS by reinforcing bad behaviour. She will be to blame as the needle goes into that dog.
Howdy answered on 8/10/11. Helpful? / 0
Wow. Just wow. That is not the response one would expect from a conscientious dog owner nor a loving and mature girlfriend. Perhaps your gf is using the dog as a barrier between herself and your kids. Just my opinion though. I think you should sit down with your gf at a non-confrontational moment and discuss this situation. It is not okay for a dog to growl at small children (or anyone) and that behavior not be corrected. If your children are taunting the animal or are providing too much stimuli for the animal, the animal needs to be given its space and the children corrected (no taunting. Ever.). Your children should also be taught to stay away from the dog when it is eating or when it is resting. This is not the case I think here. I would watch your kids around this dog or avoid the dog period. This sounds like a recipe for a dog bite to one of your kids. Please be careful for your kids' sake and the poor dog with the idiot owner.
Kylie answered on 8/10/11. Helpful? / 1
You have gotten yourself to a point of no return now - either shell out bucks to have a behaviorist come to the house, or get rid of it. No other choice. You don't want to see your kids get bitten at the end of the day, and that's exactly the way this will end.
If your gf really cares about you and your kids she should be willing to work with you to avoid problems, not making more by cuddling it and reinforcing the bad behaviour. It sounds as though you haven't taught the kids how to react with the dog and vice versa. It's hopping up on the table and snapping while you eat? Well, who let the dog get like that in the first place? This isn't a little poodle we're talking about (not that it would be okay either) but a big strong animal lording it up over all of you.
Bad situation. Bad. Spend the dollars to rectify it or move the dog on like the others. Only choice.
Jackson Tan answered on 8/10/11. Helpful? / 1
I just want to make this clear. The kids come first PERIOD. What ever you do, the kids must be safe.
To those who say the animals come before the kids, shame on you. >:(
Shiloh ITD answered on 8/11/11. Helpful? / 1
Don't cuddle a growling dog. Don't go near a growling dog. Don't let your kids go near the growling dog. That's what you do first.
Your girlfriend needs to realize that a growl is a warning and not something to cuddle the dog over.
It doesn't matter who comes first, dogs or kids, you want to live peacefully. And you can't just keep "getting rid" of animals left and right because you don't want to help fix the problem.
This IS a problem that needs to be address. The only corrections needed would be to get your girlfriend to stop cuddling the dog and to wake up and smell the coffee...this scenario is a ticking time bomb.
Sanka answered on 8/11/11. Helpful? / 2
I agree with snickers she needs to tell the dog to stop or she and her dog would be out of my house. She is pretty much saying she has no respect for you or you kids. Think about how rude she is being. I would only be okay with her cuddling the dog because it was hurt and growled. Besides she is teaching the dog that it is okay to growl with out even knowing it. Are the kids even doing anything that should rusult in the dog growling? If your girl friend does not stop the dog I would.
Kimmiee answered on 6/21/12. Helpful? / 0