If you were a dog, which breed would you be?

Take our quick little quiz to find out which dog breed you are the most like.

We're gonna get analog here for a minute: Take out a paper and pen to keep track of your answers, and in the end we'll help you tally them up. Remember when you would read magazines as a teenager and they would have those personality quizzes and you had to actually write down the answers? This is sort of like that. (Yes, I remember actual print magazines.)

(And remember … this is just for fun, folks!)

1. Where do you live?

A. In an apartment in the heart of a bustling downtown.

B. Out on a farm, surrounded by acres and acres of open land.

C. In a four bedroom home with a yard and white picket fence.

D. A fairytale castle in a mythical land.

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"Yes, this is perfect." Photo by The Posh Puppy Boutique

2. It's a Friday night and -- bonus! -- it's payday. What do you do for fun?

A. Call all of my friends for a night out dancing -- maybe you'll make meet some new people!

B. Curl up on the couch with a good book or your favorite movie.

C. Host a family night of baking cookies and playing boardgames.

D. Deposit most of your paycheck into a savings account, then spend the evening working on personal endeavors.

3. A friend of yours was just dumped by a significant other and is totally distraught about it. What do you do?

A. Rush over to your friend's house with her favorite food and a bottle of wine, and spend all night cheering her up.

B. Offer your support but secretly hope she doesn't take you up on it.

C. Poop on the offending (now ex-) significant other's lawn.

D. Offer to begin an intense exercise regimen with her to get in shape to make her ex jealous.

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"Tell me all your troubles. I have good hearing even if I don't listen when you say, 'Don't eat the garbage.'" Photo by BlackburnPhoto

4. Another friend has a Groupon for two to go skydiving, you:

A. Are already out the door -- it's always been on your bucket list!

B. Say, "Oh heck no."

C. Waver on the decision, and after some convincing from your friend, decide to do it.

D. Say, "Yes," get on the plane, but chicken out at the last minute.

5. You decide to take yourself out on a self-care date. What do you do?

A. Head out to a fancy spa where they serve the customers champagne, and treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure.

B. Pack your backpack with water and snacks for a day of rigorous hiking.

C. Turn off your phone and spend the day hanging out at home -- you're always so busy, you never get to just lounge.

D. Take yourself out on a date to that new restaurant you've been eyeing -- and you definitely order dessert.

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"Do you like my mani-pedi? Or would it be a pedi-pedi? I don't know for sure -- I'm a dog!" Photo by meilani

Pencils down!

Answer time! If you picked:

Your size makes you perfect for city dwelling, but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy a good day out in the wilderness. You're bold and brave, but you don't need a lot to be happy.

You have a reputation for being a tough guy, but you're actually a very thoughtful person. You're steadfast and focused, and you love a good work out.

B, C, D, A, A: You're a Poodle!

You are elegant and you love the finer things in life. However, you're not happy just hanging out and being pretty. You have a very active mind and spirit.

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"As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top." Photo: Poodle with goggles driving a sports car by Shutterstock

You might be called a "Boxer," but you don't actually like to fight. You'd much rather hang out and chill with your family, doing something outdoors or relaxing at home.

A, A, A, C, A: You're a Yorkshire Terrier!

You are petite and dainty and you don't care if you're "high maintenance" -- in fact, you're proud of it! But you're not just another pretty face, you're feisty and spunky as well.

A, B, B, B, D: You're a Bulldog!

You love to just hang out. You don't need to live in a fancy house -- an apartment in the city is just perfect for you. A walk around the block satisfies your need for exercise, but you'd much rather chill out on the couch.

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"Kiss me, I'm a Bulldog." Photo: A cute Bulldog by Shutterstock

B, D, C, D, B: You're a Beagle!

You love hanging out with your family doing outdoorsy activities, but you're also flexible enough to be happy in an apartment. You're occasionally stubborn, but mostly chill.

C, A, A, D, C: You're a Golden Retriever!

You are happy-go-lucky, cheerful, energetic, and friendly. You're loyal to your family and friends, and will drop anything to help out someone you love.

B, D, D, A, B: You're a German Shepherd!

You might seem fierce and tough, but you really love to be around people. However, you also keep focused on the important stuff, like planning for the future.

D, A, A, D, D: You're a Labrador Retriever!

There's a reason you're one of the most popular breeds ever. You're fun-loving and friendly and whimsical. You also have a bad habit of eating anything even remotely edible. 

Which breed did you get? Post your results below!

Check out more stuff to make you laugh here on Dogster:

• The Classic Canine Humor of Dog Photographer Ron Schmidt
• 5 Stupid Questions I Ask My Dogs on a Daily Basis
• How I Won the Year-Long Battle with My Dog's Hairstyle

Hero photo: A montage of mutts by Shutterstock

I admit that at first, I was all like, "What the heck is this Vine thing? How do I make it work? What's the point?" But then I posted my first Vine and experienced how easy it was. Suddenly, I was addicted. Believe it or not, I have a film degree, so when I first interacted with Vine, I was all, "How do I make edits? Or roll credits?" and I was frustrated with its simplicity. But then I realized that its simplicity is its strength. It forces you to spontaneously create, and if there's one thing I know you Dogsters are, it's creative.

I was delighted to see people participating in my request to tag their Mother's Day Vines #DogsterDogMom! As promised, here are five of my favorite Mother's Day Vines:

1. Jäger the dog vs. his favorite green squid toy

It might only be six seconds, but that's all we need to get the cuteness.

2. Dog moms have tireless fetching arms

Because dogs can play fetch all day, dog moms are ready to oblige.

3. Dog moms aren't afraid of a little dog slobber

... but you can almost hear the dog in this video saying, "Aw, mom, don't put that on the Internet!"

4. Like we said ... endless fetch

How cute is the intensity with which this pup waits for the ball to be thrown?

5. Being a dog mom can be exhausting

But it's totally worth it.

What do you think of Vine? Are you on it? What's your username?

Check out these other posts about the awesomeness of dogs:

• What Loving My Dogs Taught Me About Empathy
• File Under "Things We Already Knew" -- Study Says Owning a Dog Improves Your Heart Health
• Batman Is the "Happiest Dog in America" Even Without Hind Legs

I'm just kidding! I don't have a yard! And I've successfully killed every plant that's come into my care -- including a pot of ivy.

Vine is this cute little app (currently available only on iPhone -- bummer) that allows you to record and post six second video snippets. Its limitations allow creativity to flourish. Now everyone can be an experimental filmmaker!

And now we can get even more dog videos!

To start you off, we've collected five of our favorite dog Vines to share with you. Once you've got the hang of it, find Dogster on Vine and shoot some Vines of you and your pups celebrating Mothers Day this weekend. Then hashtag them #DogsterDogMom, and we'll share them next week!

1. This little Yorkie is overjoyed

So many toys! He doesn't know which one to pick!

2. What a nice day at the beach

How jealous are you of this dog right now?

3. Princess plays fetch -- over and over again

Vine perfectly expresses the mind of a dog -- it never tires of you throwing the ball.

4. More fetch!

Maybe we're actually dogs because we love watching them fetch over and over again.

5. PUPPY!!!

Look at this puppy! He's having a blast! It's like he's jumping into our arms!

And here's a video from our own Vine -- it's our Editor-In-Chief Janine Kahn getting some advice on how to make out from GiGi.

Wasn't that fun? Join the party by searching for "Dogster" in your Vine app or find us via our Twitter. Record and share your Mothers Day Vines and tag them with #DogsterDogMom, and maybe you'll see your pup on Dogster!

Photo: Dog with severe phone phobia by Shutterstock.com

I wish I'd had the new book of dog illustrations, Tiny Confessions, by Christopher Rozzi. In it, Rozzi exposes the deep innerworkings of the canine mind .

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Could have fooled me.

"Whyyy are you barking at the mailman?" I wanted to ask a certain terrier. "He's never done you any harm." She would just look at me, a glint of sass in her eyes hinting at the wild quips I'm sure she'd utter if her mouth could form words.

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Oh! So that's why you brought me that eviscerated, decapitated toy! I'm so honored!

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Let me guess -- it's strewn all over the yard.

"Whyyy did you eat that garbage?" I wanted to ask the goofy Labrador. "If you're patient, I'll give you so many delicious snacks at home." He would just wag his tail, panting with tongue lolling. Of course the garbage was delicious, but I wanted to know which parts of his palate it excited.

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Maybe it's a good thing dogs can't talk ...

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Now I know.

If only I'd had Christopher Rozzi's Tiny Confessions back then!

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The perfect size to fit in your bag for last minute dog translations.

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You mean my heart?

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Noted.

Oh, don't be fooled by its quaint illustrations. Tiny Confessions gives us the unapologetic truth about dogs (and cats), and the truth is that our canine companions would rather we not reduce them to their embarrassing nicknames beyond the safe confines of your home. They also delight in acts of insubordination and are not sorry they chewed up your shoes.

Pretty good, right? Check out the Tiny Confessions website for more humor, which (bonus!) includes links to where you can purchase this charming little guide.

Many thanks to Christopher Rozzi and the Penguin Group for the images in this post. 

Here are more posts on the secret lives of dogs:

• I Went Looking for a Dumb Dog -- and I Found One!
• 5 Stupid Questions I Ask My Dogs on a Daily Basis
• OK Dogs, Who Farted?!

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This is Dog-Friend.

Nailing the "dog experience" with the kind of accuracy only a true dog lover would know, the video opens with an enthusiastic greeting from the Dog-Friend, which, yes, includes leg-humping. Is it just us or is Dog-Friend giving off a distinctly Golden Retriever vibe? While Dog-Friend wants to be everyone's best friend, Cat-Friend is busy hiding behind the blinds. That sounds about right.

When the main character -- Tim -- needs to drive to the bank, Dog Friend is all about it and can barely control his excitement to get in the car. (Dog-Friend, in fact, beats Tim to the steering wheel.)

But what really makes this video work is its acknowledgment of how similar cats and dogs really are. For instance, common enemies include the vacuum cleaner, which sends Dog Friend as well as Cat-Friend to hide in the closet. And whatever you do, don't forget to close the door behind you -- for some reason, despite the fact that our animal friends would have to fend for themselves on their own, they can't resist bolting from an open door.

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Oh the horrid Vacuum Beast!

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The only time the two get along.

What do you think? Do the humans get it right?

Check out these other funny and cute dog videos:

• We Interview the People Behind Loca, YouTube's Most Recognizable Pug
• Emma Has Deformed Legs and Can't Walk -- But That Didn't Stop Her When Daddy Returned from Deployment
• And Now There's VIDEO of Cheesecake the Capybara and Her Puppies!

Why do we bring this up? Last week was Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, which we celebrated here at Say Media, Dogster's parent company. (Heh. Parent company. Kids. Get it?) It was such a kick watching the little ones come to an office populated with dogs. Totally fun, right?

The kids, ages 7 to 12, participated in different activities in the spirit of Say's various publications. At Dogster, we asked the kids to imagine what it would be like if a dog (or cat) came to work at the office for a day and what they would do.

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Community Manager, Lori, poses with the kids. Assistant Editor, Liz, tries her best not to regress in front of the children. Lori wants you to know this is a "group selfie."

So we'll show you -- here's a child's point of view of a day in the life of an employed dog (or cat). We asked the kids to consider how the dog would get to the office, what she ate for lunch, and whether she held any meetings (and what those meetings might be about).

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Some stickers help with the illustration process.

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GiGi is so tuckered out from entertaining the little ones that she is sort of blurry in this photo because she's actually evaporating.

We edited the stories together to create the piece below. Enjoy!

Infinity, the Super Duper Pooper Dog, Saves the Day!

Outside the car horn blasted. Alex, a Pug and the C.O.O. of Say Media, grabbed her lunch off the counter and darted out the door, although she knew the contents of her sack lunch would not be enough for the day. She eagerly thought of all the snacks to eat at the office -- yum! In the car she joined her co-workers: Fluffy the cat, Buttercup the dog, Bonnie and Clyde (a pair of frivolous felines), Proustar (another cat), and Infinity, the Super Duper Pooper Dog. They decided to carpool together most days of the week. It was a great way to save money and the environment.

Once at the office, Fluffy and Buttercup sat down at the receptionist desk to answer phone calls and direct visitors. They were always very friendly. Bonnie and Clyde went to the kitchen to tally up the office snacks (their official title was office snack manager). Proustar worked in the video department. And Infinity was the building janitor, who made sure the bathrooms were always in working order.

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Photo: A photo of a Pug doing business by Shutterstock

Alex looked at her agenda for the day. In an hour she had a meeting to discuss the snack situation. She decided she would eat lunch early so she'd have room in her belly for the donuts Proustar always brought. Fluffy and Buttercup sent out reminders for the meeting. They gathered in a conference room and everyone helped themselves to donuts. They decided they needed more Milk-Bones and tuna-flavored kitty snacks. They were just about to adjourn their meeting when Infinity rushed into the room in a panic.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you all," he said, "But Buttercup fell into the toilet trying to get a drink and I have to save her!"

They all rushed out, Proustar grabbing his camera. In the bathroom, Infinity tore off his shirt, revealing a superhero outfit underneath. He fished Buttercup out of the toilet. Proustar made a video of the entire rescue and put it on the Internet, where it went viral.

They all went home together after a decidedly productive day.

The end.

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Liz ended up regressing anyway when confronted with the craft table.

Header photo: Group of kids in work uniforms by Shutterstock

Wait, what? You haven't seen a single Star Wars movie? We find that really hard to believe. Everyone has seen Star Wars (at least two dozen times).

But okay, we'll play along. If you haven't seen Star Wars, here's the first movie condensed into one minute. 

Yeah, it's exactly like that. 

We know Halloween is like six months away, but it's never too early to start thinking about costumes. And these aren't just any Star Wars dog costumes -- these are officially licensed merchandise. The line features seven iconic characters from the trilogy, and with just a little imagination and your camera phone, you can reimagine the Battle for Hoth with your own AT-AT.  

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The underside is the most vulnerable … to belly rubs!

(This isn't as elaborate as Bones Mello's AT-AT costume, but it's pretty good.)

Or maybe your dog resides more on the Bark Side. In that case, the only appropriate costume would be Darth Vader. Or Bark Vader. 

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Join the Bark Side.

Or is your dog more of a supernatural force? Doling out confusing wisdom like Yoda?

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"Release me from this costume, you will."

Unless, of course, your dog is Princess Leia -- she was always my favorite. 

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No, this is not the metal bikini version of Leia.

If you're the one person in this galaxy far, far away who hasn't seen Star Wars, then these costumes don't mean anything to you. Or if you're a hardcore Star Trek fan, then yeah, live long and prosper ... sans costumes.

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And we thought they smelled bad on the outside!

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They always ride single file … or tangled around your legs.

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If you're wondering where to get these, look here. (Although, to be honest, these costumes pale in comparison to the commitment demonstrated by the Banthapug.)

Are you a Star Wars fan? Would you consider these costumes for your dogs?

Via Topless Robot

But sometimes dogs have funny reactions to farts, like this dog who thinks the sounds of a fart machine are her own confused creation. Sometimes dogs are genuinely startled by their own farts, stirring themselves from their own slumber, as if awaking to an earthquake.

So let's see if these dogs can solve the mystery of who farted:

Whoa! What was that?

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Photo by Nathan Laurell

Something just happened!

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Photo by sunsets_for_you

Did you hear it?

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Photo by danlentz

I heard it!

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Photo by Listen Missy!

I didn't hear it, but I can smell it.

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Photo by smooshmasterflex

Yikes, that smells bad!

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Photo by Muffet

I think it was this guy.

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Photo by abbynormy

Or maybe it was the baby.

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Photo by uzi978

Or the cat.

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Photo by wmshc_kiwi

Oh no -- wait. Yeah. It was definitely me.

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Photo by GabrielaP93

Read more dog-centric humor on Dogster:

• We Interpret 7 Wacky Medieval Dog Illustrations
• Why I'm No Longer a High-End Dog Walker
• 10 Ways My Dog Is Becoming Human

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They do say that pets and their people begin to resemble each other, so Rose decided to take it to the next level with Petheadz. The concept: Merge pets and their human friends into one. The process: Photograph pets, then use the LCD screen of a digital camera to mash up human and animal.

The result is not only a comment on the bond between humans and dogs, but a comment on the modern photographic process, which allows us to enjoy our images instantly. The "photos within photos" defy portrait conventions, creating an image that's unique to our current place in technology.

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This dog photography enthusiast finds Rose's Petheadz engaging and entertaining -- the final image is not aways a seamless integration, but few things in life are perfect, which makes Rose's photos accurate representations of our relationship with not only dogs, but the world around us.

Rose's little exercise has become a highly sought-after series -- Rose has taken nearly 20 Petheadz photos all over Toronto, and has a lengthy wait list of portraits to complete for his ongoing project.

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Check out Rose's website and Instagram, and if you're feeling particularly creative, try taking your own pet-head portrait, then upload it to Instagram tagged with #Petheadz for inclusion in this fun photo meme.

Via the Instagram blog; all photos by Zachary Rose

For George the Basset Hound, everyday feels like Hump Day. And George, resigned to his fate, will never get over the hump. So he's going to take a nap, anywhere and everywhere he can. The world is an oyster for some, but for George, the world is a giant, mushy, half-eviscerated dog bed.

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Just a typical day in Dolores Park.

George obeys stop signs, pausing to nap on the grass before crossing the street. George sleeps on the sand and works on his tan. George sleeps with his party hat on. George occasionally flaunts the rules and sleeps where it says not to. George turns the act of sleeping into an expression of subversive, conceptual performance art. George sleeps while the world hustles around him, taking his stand against our fast modern world.

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"Stop!" "OK."

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"The view is just so-so."

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"It's my party and I'll sleep if I want to."

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Hey George, there's no parking here.

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George cares not for the hustle and bustle of this new modern world.

Well, not really.

Actually, George is just a simple Basset Hound, and this looks like a nice, warm, soft sunny spot, so let's circle it twice (then circle it a third time in reverse) and settle down with a sigh. And then -- zzz.

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Warning: Sleeping George afoot.

If you can't get enough George -- or you suffer from insomnia and need a little inspiration -- just check out his Facebook page, or add him as a friend on Dogster!

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Hint: He's wearing a "Where's Waldo" hat.

Photos via George's Facebook page

1. Bagpiping dog

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Hours, England ca. 1300.

This is a bagpiping dog. We have no idea why the bag of his pipe is made of a cat, or why he seems so enthralled with his song -- or why the cat seems to be attached to his stomach -- but we do know that he's starving. Look at those ribs! He's also playing the wrong instrument. He has the fingers of a pianist.

2. Killer rabbit and praying dog

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La Somme le Roy, France ca. 1290-1300.

This appears to be a dog pleading for his life to a rabbit with an axe. This was drawn shortly after rabbits learned to use weapons to defend themselves against dogs, who chased them throughout the Dark Ages with impunity. We'd like to think this dog came out okay. Have you ever seen a dog this cute pray? Surely the rabbit gave him a Milk Bone and sent him on his way.  

3. Fish-rabbit and fish-dog

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Summer volume of the Breviary of Renaud/Marguerite de Bar, Metz ca. 1302-1305.

Ah, the other side of the coin, with the fish-dog chasing the fish-rabbit. Why are they half-fish? Looks like some happy-go-lucky scribe was partaking of the herbal remedies a wee bit too much.

4. Ye gods! Another savage rabbit!

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Gorleston Psalter, England 14th century.

Goddamned rabbits again! Look at this heathen, preparing to slice this poor dozing dog to pieces with a knife -- or maybe that is a length of cow intestine, knowing these disturbed medieval scribes. (We're only showing you the dog pictures, but based on some of the other pictures, these people would rule today's horror industry.)

5. Breast-dog

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Book of Hours, Paris ca. 1480.

I suppose it had to come to this. A dog with two legs, a woman's breast sprouting from his back, and the tail of a lizard. Breast-dog must have been quite popular in disreputable taverns in the wee hours of night. (Sorry.)  

6. Just awful

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‘Tristan de Léonois’. Arras ca. 1285-1290.

Just a dog on a ram's back, holding a sword, heading off to joust an unknown assailant, probably the Mountain That Rides, terrified. Look at the way he's holding that sword. Somebody certainly never taught this dog to joust. This will not end well. I hope milady is happy.

7. Ye royal food taster 

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Richard de Fournival, Bestiaire d’Amour, Lorraine 14th century.

Ah, some things never change. A vomiting dog. Perhaps he had just tasted the night's soup? They couldn't even microwave a hot dog properly back then. 

Photos via Discarding Images

I got the job because I had worked as a dog walker before, but I was told I was also hired for my "neat appearance."

Why should my appearance matter so much? I would be spending all day on my feet, picking up dog poop, and collecting dog hair.

"We have high-end clients," my boss informed me. I was required to wear a collared shirt.

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This is an appropriate dog-walking outfit. Photo: Autumn trekking with dog by Shutterstock

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NOT an appropriate dog-walking outfit. Photo: Young fashion woman, walking her dog in the park by Shutterstock

One particularly high-end client was a woman who lived alone in a big house on the top of a hill overseeing the rest of the city. Her home was immaculately decorated, so much so that I often wondered if she actually lived there. I once had to use the bathroom and felt a little bit like I was soiling a museum piece. Even the bathroom reading material seemed expertly curated.

Although she wasn't employed, she made a job of fussing over the house's imperfections. A scuff on the wall hailed a team of painters to retouch it, a spot on the rug welcomed professional carpet cleaners to steam and scrub the offending mark out, and I never saw food prepared in the kitchen (though the maids were always carting in paper bags from boutique grocery stores). She also had a dog -- a small purebred Poodle -- that she hired a walker to take out. That walker was me.

The Poodle, named Charles, was well cared for, if perhaps a little under socialized and not very well housebroken. This meant I often had to step over and around the hoses of high-powered carpet cleaners when I went to fetch Charles, who was always sitting up on the arm of an expensive-looking couch -- exactly where he was not supposed to sit. The upholstery showed signs of damage, as dogs have no taste for interior design. Nor can they appreciate Italian craftsmanship.

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"Have you SEEN my haircut?" Photo: Happy Toy poodle puppy close-up portrait (outdoor) by Shutterstock

Many rules governed Charles' walks: He was not to walk on the grass, his paws had to be wiped (with a towel monogrammed with his initials) before he entered the house, and I was to carry (in addition to his poop bags) baby wipes. I don't need to tell you what the wipes were for.

The dog would defecate in the park and I would stand there, wipes in hand, with Charles peering imploringly at me as if to say, "Please don't. The other dogs already think I'm weird. Have you seen my haircut?"

I would respond to my imaginary conversation with Charles, saying, "But your human said to. I mean, are you -- you know -- dirty back there?"

In my imagination Charles would say, "Well, I can do an extra scoot on the grass if you think that would help."

I would say, "OK, but do it quickly so no one can see."

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"No, seriously. Have you SEEN my haircut?" Photo: Groomed Toy poodle with a red flower on dark red background by Shutterstock

So I didn't really use the wipes. I wasn't embarrassed to wipe a dog's butt -- dignity is not something I've cultivated -- but I imagined it was sort of the same thing as someone wearing a really loud perfume on a crowded bus, irritating the refined sense of all the dogs at the dog park. Miraculously, I was allowed to take Charles to the dog park.

Charles often experienced digestive issues. I assumed it was a symptom of stress, of being subjected to his owner's wailing voice whenever a stray mark on a wall appeared, then her ushering a team of strangers to the house, who threw plastic all over the furniture and carpeting.

When these digestive issues flared up, Charles would be rushed to the vet, and the vet would perform blood work and tests and keep the dog overnight for observation, but never deliver a diagnosis.

In my imaginary conversations with Charles, he would tell me, "Dude, I just ate some grass and barfed it up. Dogs eat grass and barf it up -- it's just a thing we do."

But one day Charles' digestive issues expressed themselves through the other end, and it happened right in front of the house before I was supposed to return him. Prior to this incident, Charles had always pooped in the park, and I'd disposed of the poop bags in the public trash cans there. So there I was, doing my best to pluck up every piece of goopy poop off the sidewalk, my dexterity lacking. I finally scooped it all up, pulled the bag inside out, and at the same time, the garage door yawned open. Charles' owner appeared, her maids in tow, heading out to the grocery store. I stood up, bag dangling in one hand and Charles' leash in the other.

The woman shrieked, "What are you doing!"

I fumbled. "My job?"

She became flustered. "No no no, don't bring that in here."

"Bring what?"

"That-that-that bag!"

"I was gonna throw it away in the outside garbage."

"No, you can't throw it in any garbage on the premises."

"Not even the outside garbage?"

"No!"

I was speechless. My mind reeled. What does she do with the poop when I'm not here? What does she think happens to the food the dog eats? Does she poop? I looked to Charles. I imagined him shrugging.

"What am I supposed to do with it?"

"Take it to the park and throw it away," she said, reaching awkwardly for Charles' leash, as if being in the mere presence of the poop bag might cause poop particles to leap out and attach themselves to her face.

"You want me to take this poop bag in my car with me to throw it away in the park?" I wanted to make sure I understood her.

"Yes!"

I think I was stunned by the sheer absurdity of the suggestion, so I did exactly that -- I took the bag full of poop with me, in my car. I drove to the park and tossed it in a trash can there.

And then I sat in my car contemplating other career options.

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The end. Photo: View of advisory signs in public place with complimentary bags and receptacle by Shutterstock

Photo: Dog Day Afternoon - Dog walking and training by Shutterstock

In February, a very pregnant Anatolian Shepherd found her way to the Rocky Ridge Refuge thanks to the help of devoted volunteer transporters.

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A very pregnant Koa before she arrived at Rocky Ridge.

The shepherd dog, named Koa after a Hawaiian tree, had been in a dire situation. Left tethered outside, Koa had never seen a vet -- not even to get spayed -- and, as a result, she'd had two litters of puppies, one of which died because of parasites. With Koa dirty and subsisting only on scraps and cheap kibble, her third litter might have suffered the same fate.

That changed when Koa was rescued and groomed by a generous soul, and then lovingly transported to Rocky Ridge Refuge. In February she had her nine puppies, one of whom died shortly after birth, unfortunately.

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Koa with her newborn puppies -- unfortunately one of them did not make it.

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The puppies with their eyes still closed.

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Six-weeks-old and posing for Easter photos -- "Aw mom, do I have to?"

The puppies, who are destined to be big dogs, are named after different kinds of trees. And here they are at six weeks old, hanging out with their Aunt Cheesecake the capybara. Darling Cheesecake must have a strong maternal instinct because she always looks happy to be surrounded by puppies.

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When mama Koa needs a break, Aunt Cheesecake watches over the pups.

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OK, this is too much.

It makes us happy to know that Koa and her puppies -- nicknamed the "Tree Puppies" -- are in a safe, loving environment.

The puppies are available for adoption through Rocky Ridge Refuge. Check out the website for more information, as well as how you can make a donation so Janice can keep up her amazing work.

Photos via the Rocky Ridge Refuge Facebook page

Can't get enough Cheesecake? Here she is with another litter of puppies and here is video evidence of her fostering powers. And check out this story from a woman who fosters all sorts of critters as well.

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Don't you hate it when your tights slide down your butt?

Nothing will put a kink in your day quite like some ill-fitting hose. Just ask these dogs.

We cannot tell you how or why photos of dogs in pantyhose have become a running joke in China. Maybe it started with a good old-fashioned doggie panty raid, which went awry when a dog nicked a pair of tights instead of some underpants. That's when the dog's human friend looked at the pup and thought, "Hey, I know what's a good idea!"

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Because why not?

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Just add a little blush.

Other dogs, upon realizing how good their legs look in stockings, decided to try their paws at the trend, and then even added heels to complete the look. Because that only makes sense.

Once the photos hit the Internet, others could not resist replicating the humorous image. And that's how a meme was born.

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This borders on obscene.

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OK, wait … that's almost too far.

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We don't know if red is his color ...

So, there you go -- dogs in pantyhose. The only thing that makes it creepy (OK, there's a lot that makes it creepy) is how much better some of these dogs look in hosiery than yours truly.

Via Laughing Squid

Got a good laugh out of this? Check out more goofy photos of dogs:

• Dogs: They're Just Like Us! (With Apologies to US Weekly…)
• Is This the Best Photo-Bombing Dog in a Craigslist Ad Ever?
• We Talk to Theron Humphrey, the Human Behind the Viral Photo Hit "Maddie on Things"

Like us, dogs can't wait for the season to turn in earnest, bringing with it sunny days, a renewed sense of vitality, and the promise of summer. In particular, dogs can't wait to do these 10 things in spring:

1. Shed that winter coat

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Photo by _tar0_

This applies to dogs of the double coat variety, but man, it's been a bummer carrying all that extra fur around, are we right? Not to mention it adds, like, five extra pounds to your frame, and if it's not groomed properly can just appear unseemly.

2. Enjoy more daylight

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Photo by johnqs

Which means more time in the day to nap in sun puddles, fetch sticks, go on long walks, play with the human friends, and harass the cat.

3. Nap in the sunshine

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Photo by lhiltpix

Longer daylight hours and warmer weather have dogs everywhere clearing their agendas and writing in, "Take a six-hour nap." 

4. Play in the mud

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Photo by Aggarwal_Gopal

As the snow melts and the rain falls, all that exposed dirt is just ripe for epic mud puddles. Free of the burden of her winter coat, the dog now relishes any chance to roll around in dirt soup.

5. Roll in the grass

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Photo by helena.40proof

An extension of rolling in the mud, as grass casts off its icy prison, new, fresh, soft lawns reveal themselves … we believe it is dog law that compels canines to roll around in grass as well as mud.

6. Eat the grass after rolling in it

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Photo by ajball90

Mmm, fresh, sweet grass to eat and then hack up violently on the rug! Perfect, right? Who doesn't love a good belly-clutching yack on the rug?

7. Go to the beach

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Photo by uberphot

Well, all right, it's not quite warm enough for the beach yet, but at least the dream is a little closer to reality.

8. Go swimming

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Photo by pmarkham

Because swimming is fun!

9. Smell new smells

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Photo by Anna Majkowska

Flowers are blooming! Which bring with them a whole new bouquet of delicious smells to investigate. What's the story, Morning Glory?

10. Puppies!

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Photo by Kiwi NZ

Okay, this one is for us more than the dogs. Spring is typically when animals have babies, and everyone loves puppies!

Can't get enough spring puppies? Here are more puppies! While springtime is great and exciting, it can also pose a host of hazards to your dog, so make sure you read up on them. Even though it's April Fool's Day today, do not prank these serious dogs -- you will be sorry.

1. You look like you're planning something. I'M PLANNING SOMETHING TOO.

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Angry dog by Shutterstock.

2. Oh, what this? A new toy? NOT BUYING IT

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Siberian Husky by Shutterstock.

3. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

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Cocker Spaniel by Shutterstock.

4. Where's the cat? Have you seen the cat? WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

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Portrait of a Sheepdog by Shutterstock.

5. You look like a man about to do something stupid. You're not stupid, are ya? 

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Sleepy dog by Shutterstock.

6. Just go easy on me, OK? I'm your good boy. 

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English Bulldog by Shutterstock.

7. Wait -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY FOOD!? Oh, my little heart.  

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Close-up of Pug

8. Let's see how funny April 2 is when I eliminate in all the closets. 

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Portrait of a Lab by Shutterstock.

9. Let's take the next few days real easy, capice? No sudden moves, nobody get hurt. 

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White dog with attitude by Shutterstock.

10. Oh, how I suffer! I hate April Fools Day. I just hate it. 

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Pug on couch by Shutterstock.

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"Studying pays off." Dog and Books by Shutterstock

We've uncovered the never-before-seen-by-human-eyes Fanglish dictionary and are cautiously divulging a few terms from its contents. If our dogs knew about this breach, we'd certainly have to sleep with one eye open.

1. Dinner and a show

A dog's act of cleaning his rear in full view of a human's dinner party guests.

The lady was embarrassed when Charlie's dinner and a show distracted her guests from their flank steak.

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"Don't mind me." Bulldog Licking Himself by Shutterstock

We've managed to remove the layer of dog fur from the sofa, we've exhibited our most impressive school-of-Trader-Joe's knowledge of wines, and just as we've sat down to enjoy that no-fail dish that always dazzles guests, we hear the telltale lick, lick, lick. Everyone looks over to see Charlie, already savoring his first course.

2. Deja shoe

A dog's feeling he's already smelled a particular shoe.

Max experienced deja shoe when he stuck his nose inside the lady's loafer.

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"Yes, I am familiar." Dog Lying on Shoes by Flickr Creative Commons

Footwear is a major magnet for doggy noses, so they'll look for any opportunity to dive in for a lingering whiff, sometimes even falling asleep with their face flat against the foulness. They don't care one bit whether or not they've already experienced relations with a particular shoe.

3. Bum-rush

A dog's desire to sniff any bottom with which he comes in contact.

Molly bum-rushed Grandma Stella on Easter.

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"What's up, chicken butt?" Dog Sniffing Chicken by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs sniff other dogs' bottoms as a way to get to know each other, but they're also known to poke their nose against the rear-ends of non-dogs. In the case of humans, this is often followed by a surprised jump and possible exclamation.

4. Tiptoe-tinkle

A human's early morning attempt at quietly using the facilities, hoping not to alert the dog because breakfast is still two hours away.

Sophie was not fooled by the lady's tiptoe-tinkle and immediately started for the kitchen.

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"You're awake. Feed me." Dog Waking Up by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs are smart, but they can't tell time. So if it's anywhere near the breakfast hour, they're going to go with their gut feeling and assume it must be food o'clock.

5. Adooration

A dog's anxious wait for a human at the front door.

Noodle's adooration at the end of the day was nearly palpable.

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"It's almost time. I know it." Dog Waiting at Door by Flickr Creative Commons

There's nothing more wonderful than walking up to the front door and seeing your beloved pooch's face excitedly staring at you through the window. And you can always tell how long they've been there based on the total area occupied by nose smudges.

6. Captive audience

A human who won't get up to do anything on her to-do list because an adorable dog is lying on her lap.

Roxy had a captive audience so she knew she could nap for a while.

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"You're not going anywhere."Dog Lying in Lap by Flickr Creative Commons

Seriously, who's going to do anything productive when they can sit cuddled up with a sweet pup? Dogs know this and stay put. And we usually don't argue. Dishes don't need washing, right? We'll eat off paper plates again tonight.

7. Peethagorean theorem

The equation which states that the total amount of time used while a dog sniffs before peeing is greater than the actual time spent urinating.

On every walk, Dixie correctly and easily proved the peethagorean theorem.

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"I'll even show my work." Cocker Spaniel Sniffing Grass by Flickr Creative Commons

This is true nearly 100 percent of the time. Dogs need the time to really explore their options before making the commitment to squat or lift a leg. It's just math -- don't try to argue with it.

8. Pupparazzi

The rush of dogs who are excited to greet a human.

The pupparazzi always greeted the man when he arrived home from work.

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"Look over here!" "No! Look over here!" Man and Dogs by Flickr Creative Commons

Who's happier to see us than dogs? They just can't get enough! They follow us around and constantly watch our every move. Truly, they're our biggest fans.

9. Opening act

The excitement and chaos that happens when a can or bag of food is opened.

Tonight's opening act was especially rousing because it was followed by beef and gravy.

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"I can hardly wait for the headliner." Dog Waiting in Kitchen by Flickr Creative Commons

Do your dogs race around and act crazy-excited when you're preparing their meal? You're not alone. This high-spirited opening act happens in homes around the world. The players may look different, but it's always entertaining.

10. Happy hour

A dog's discovery of an open toilet.

Dexter loved happening upon a surprise happy hour.

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"All I can drink!" Puppy Drinking from Toilet by Flickr Creative Commons

Dogs can't get enough cool toilet water. And how exciting to walk by the bathroom and notice a human's left the seat open! And a dog that's lucky enough to run across two refreshing bowls in one afternoon? That's called a 2-for-1 happy hour.

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"Enough studying. It's nap time." Lab With Glasses and Books by Shutterstock

Got anything to add to the Fanglish Dictionary? Tell us in the comments!

Read more humor posts by Angie Bailey:

• My Dog Went on Vacation -- And Sent Me These Postcards
• We Decode the facial Expressions of These 10 Dogs
• 10 Haiku Poems Written By Dogs

Bunny ears! Do you know how insulting that is to a dog? Rabbits are snack food!

So listen, dogs, if your human friend insists on making a fool of you, guilt trip your human with the following methods:

1. Pout aggressively, your lower lip trembling as your eyes well with tears.

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Photo by ...love Maegan

2. Stick your tongue out on one side of your mouth and drool everywhere.

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Photo by DaveFayram

3. Let your mouth melt in a saddest frown (particularly good if you have luxuriously droopy jowls).

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Photo by anneh632

4. Make your most horrifying face (bonus points if you can make your eyes glow -- it's guaranteed to wreck the photos).

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Photo by Pets Advisory

5. Strike an indignant pose -- the kind that tacitly promises a "gift" on the rug.

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Photo by abbynormy

6. Pout aggressively (works well if you're a Pug -- the wrinkled face adds agony).

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Photo by geraldbrazell

7. Jump on the furniture and scratch your fleas, shedding hair all over the upholstery.

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Photo by Karsun Designs

8. If you're outside, wear sunglasses so no one will recognize you.

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Photo by Pets Advisor

9. Step out of the camera's focus point for a blurry photo.

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Photo by FlowerNinjaA

10. Pose while also peeing on the comforter -- that'll teach 'em.

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Photo by chispy2

Humans, do you plan on humiliating your dog with bunny ears?

The thing about dogs is that even when we humiliate them, they're always happy to see us and always freak out when we leave them. If you do decide to put bunny ears on your dog, make sure you check out our guide to dog facial expressions so you'll know the look of revenge when you see it.

What if dogs could get even smarter by attending college and receiving degrees in their favorite subjects? Here are six degrees dogs might earn at Canine State University:

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"Bring on the pomp and circumstance!"Graduating Chihuahua by Shutterstock

1. Bachelor of Science in Blocking

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"I occupy space much more efficiently now!"

Dogs are pretty skilled at sprawling in exactly the path where we need to walk. And we've become masters at strategically stepping over them while balancing full laundry baskets and plates of food. Could these drowsy doggies barricade our walking routes any more skillfully?

In the blocking program, pooches study the science behind blocking and learn the body angles they must apply to most effectively occupy any given space. Lab fees extra.  

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"The degree of angles is critical." Dogs Lying on the Floor by Flickr Creative Commons

2. Bachelor of Arts in Staring 

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"My stare is masterful."

Dogs are no strangers to staring and get the most practice when there's some sort of food involved. However, do they sometimes stare to send us psychic messages to open the back door or pick up the treat jar? The novice gazer in the staring program will benefit from the extensive experience of the learned professors, and the practiced dogs will intensify and deepen their skills.

Classes include labs where dogs practice the basic "give me a bite" stare and move up to advanced techniques like "Please don't ever leave me alone again or I swear I'll die." These classes usually fill up quickly, so the university recommends registering as soon as they're available.  

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"I see myself at the top of the Dean's List." Dog Staring by Flickr Creative Commons

3. Bachelor of Arts in Hiding

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"Advanced hiding methods? Check!"

Dogs love to "borrow" items and tuck them away for safe-keeping, both indoors and outdoors. Lost a sock? Check the dog bed. Lost a pair of underwear? Check the toy basket. How about a sandal? Under the bush in the backyard, of course.

In the nationally recognized hiding program, dogs discover new and interesting methods for stowing away objects. Opportunities are available for studying abroad in an exchange program with European hiding students.   

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"I now have the skills to hide shoes in obscure outdoor locations." Dog and Shoe by Flickr Creative Commons

4. Master of Arts in Nickname-Acquiring

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"You can only keep track of three nicknames? You really need this program."

Honestly, how many nicknames do you have for your dog? Our dog's given nickname was Beau, but we rarely called him that and instead opted for nicknames like Sweety, Boom-Boom, and Pup-Pup. Because dogs are constantly acquiring new names, they need to apply critical thinking skills to remember them and discern which are new ones and which are just random, silly human words.

In the Master of Arts in Name-Acquiring, dogs learn these skills, along with extensive training in maintaining positive self-esteem while being called Mr. Fluffy and Smoochypants. 

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"Poofbutt? That's a new one, but OK!" Dog With Pricked Ears by Flickr Creative Commons

5. Doctor of Booty-Shaking

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"That's DOCTOR Booty-Shaker."

The jubilant shaking of a dog's hindquarters is a joyful thing to behold! The wagging can be as subtle as a gentle flip of the tail or as animated as an entire back-end super-shake. Sometimes it's a wonder they don't pull something!

In the booty-shaking program, canines study the history of the waggle and tail-thumping theory, and spend extensive hours in the lab. Upon graduation, these highly-trained pooches will be prepared to respond to any situation with the most suitable booty-shake. 

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"Now I have my own practice!" Dog Shaking Tail by Flickr Creative Commons

6. Bachelor of Arts in Speed-Eating

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"My skills are much more refined!"

Have you ever seen Kobayashi competitively devour hot dogs? Forget about it! You haven't seen anything until you've watched a dog go to town on a bowl of chow.

In the speed-eating program, dogs learn to focus while speed-eating. Instead of thoughtlessly inhaling the food, they'll learn Eastern meditative techniques to help them eat quickly while intentionally tasting each individual morsel. This in-demand program is the only one of its kind in the U.S. Kibble is included in the cost of tuition. 

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"The labs are fantastic!" Dog Eating by Shutterstock

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"Would you like a wallet-sized copy?" Puppy Graduation by Shutterstock

What type of degree would your dog earn and why? Tell us about it in the comments!

Read more funny dog posts:

• Why Is Moe the Dog Following Me on Instagram?
• We Decode the Facial Expressions of These 10 Dogs
• 5 Reality TV Shows That Would Be WAY Better With Dogs

Where are they going? They are going home. Aww.

These two remarkable creatures belong to Dafna Kopelis, who uploaded the video to YouTube a few days ago and is currently dealing with rapidly escalating Internet fame (the video has nearly 300,000 views as of this writing). 

According to Yahoo News, Kopelis' cat, Ruthi, has lived with two dogs since she was a 4-week-old kitten, and she considers herself one of the pack. Kopelis says the kitten comes when she calls her name, just like a dog. 

Of course, the Internet is aflame with praise for this cat, and we, too, are duly impressed -- what a smart feline, what a caring little fellow, blah blah blah.

We can hold our tongue no longer: What about that dog! Clearly, the dog is the hero of this tale. The dog is the protector, the loving guardian of the home, and he is humoring the cat, allowing himself to be led by the cat he has been charged to protect, like a dad allowing his young toddler choose the path through the zoo for the day. He probably wanted to go home, anyway. 

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Or he's just a big softie. Whatever. We want them both.